• Lyrics: play full screen play karaoke
• The Rock Rolls On - W.A.S.P.
• The Horror - W.A.S.P.
• Whole Lotta Rosie - W.A.S.P.
• The Idol - W.A.S.P.
• Take The Addiction - W.A.S.P.
• Why Am I Here - W.A.S.P.
• War Cry - W.A.S.P.
• Tie Your Mother Down - W.A.S.P.
• The Titanic Overture - W.A.S.P.
• The Rise - W.A.S.P.
• The Invisible Boy - W.A.S.P.
• The Raging Storm - W.A.S.P.
• The Neutron Bomber - W.A.S.P.
• Sweet Cheetah - W.A.S.P.
• The Great Misconceptions Of Me - W.A.S.P.
• The Eulogy - W.A.S.P.
• The Flame - W.A.S.P.
• The Big Welcome - W.A.S.P.
• Someone To Love Me - W.A.S.P.
• Sister Sadie (And The Black Habits) - W.A.S.P.
• Somebody To Love - W.A.S.P.
• School Daze - W.A.S.P.
• Running Wild In The Streets - W.A.S.P.
• Wild Child - W.A.S.P.
• Raven Heart - W.A.S.P.
• Overture - W.A.S.P.
• On Your Knees - W.A.S.P.
• My Wicked Heart - W.A.S.P.
• Narration - W.A.S.P.
• Mephisto Waltz - W.A.S.P.
• Loco-Motive Man - W.A.S.P.
• Kill Your Pretty Face - W.A.S.P.
• Inside The Electric Circus - W.A.S.P.
• Kill, Fuck, Die - W.A.S.P.
• I Don't Need No Doctor - W.A.S.P.
• Hold On To My Heart - W.A.S.P.
• Forever Free - W.A.S.P.
• Easy Living - W.A.S.P.
• Drive By - W.A.S.P.
• Dirty Balls - W.A.S.P.
• Cocaine Cowboys - W.A.S.P.
• Clockwork Mary - W.A.S.P.
• Charisma - W.A.S.P.
• Breathe - W.A.S.P.
• Black Bone Torso - W.A.S.P.
• Ball Crusher - W.A.S.P.
• All My Life - W.A.S.P.
• (Why Am) I Nothing - W.A.S.P.
• Red Room Of The Rising Sun - W.A.S.P.
• Sex Drive - W.A.S.P.

There's never a day, that's passing my way
That I never need it
My hands on the wheel, my foot's on the steel
'Cause I gotta feel it
[REFRAIN:]
The rock rolls forever on - ooh, forever on
Like thunder - coming down, ooh, yeah
The rock rolls forever on - ooh, forever on
Like thunder - coming down, ooh, yeah
It blows through my veins like thunder and rain
And I can't live without it
I scream for the crowds, and turn it up loud
'Cause I gotta feel it
[REFRAIN:]
Six string and lightning strikes
Come make me blind
Ooh burn it up
Bring down the pedal to the metal
[REFRAIN:]
Forever never stop

There's a red worm crawling in my head
Cut in half worm, in my blood he lies red
And I see him in my head
It's my nightmare, oh it's my dream
He's inside here silencing my screams
Alone on a razor's edge
Alone sliding on the razor's edge
I'm the horror on the edge
Cause I, I'm the worm that cometh
I am him I am hell, I am god, I'm the devil all in one
The eyes that hide the face inside
Come stare into my eyes
A killer's listening to horrors in my head
He's bleeding, sliding on the razor's edge
Through my eyes he watches me
He lies inside watching me
There's a red noise deep inside my head
An obscure noise and the smell of slow death
If there's a hell then I'll be there
I am god, obscene death
I'm the worm on razor's edge
All pigs die
Kill, fuck, die
I am hell, godless me
I am pagan idolatry
Kneel before the horror
Kneel before the horror
Fuck me, kill me, drink my blood
Fuck me, kill me, drink my blood
All pigs die, kill, fuck, die
I'm the horror on the edge
Cause I, I'm the worm that cometh I am him I am hell
I am god, I'm the devil all in one
The eyes that hide the face inside
Come stare into my eyes

Wanna tell you a story
Bout a woman I know
When it comes to lovin'
Oh, she steals the show
Ain't exactly pretty
Bitch ain't exaclty small
14-39-56
You can say she's got it all
Never met a woman
Never met a woman like you
Doin' all the things
Doin' all the things you do
Ain't no fairy story
Ain't no skin and bone
But you give it all you got
Weighin' in at nineteen stone
You're a whole lot of woman
A whole lot of woman
Whole lotta Rosie
You're a whole lotta woman
Oh honey you can do it
Do it to me all night long
Only one that turns
Only one that turns me on
All through the night-time
All around the clock
Too much advising
Don'tcha never stop
She's a whole lot of woman
A whole lot of woman
Whole lotta Rosie
You're a whole lotta woman

If I could only stand and stare in the mirror would I see
One fallen hero with a face like me
And if I scream, could anybody hear me
If I smash the silence, you'll see what fame has done to me
Kiss away the pain and leave me lonely
ll never know if love's a lie
Ooh - being crazy in paradise is easy
Can you see the prisoners in my eyes
Where is the love to shelter me
Give me love, love set me free
ere is the love, to shelter me
Only love, love set me free
Set me free

Show me the nerves twitching on your face
Killing the flesh on the bone
You're just one final scream away
You love it to death ya know
Tell me ya lie on your bed of nails
Tell me you're losing control
Nightmares in ecstacy ya need
A razorlike crown of thorns
Hey, hey, yeah take the addiction
Hey, hey, yeah just a little, It's just one pretty kill away
Hey, hey, yeah kiss the affliction
Oh a pretty kill away, a kill away tonight
Screaming babies on razor blades
Into the hole you slide
Barbed-wire and twisting snakes
In a bed of nails you die
Hey, hey, yeah take the addiction
Hey, hey, yeah just a little, It's just one pretty kill away
Hey, hey, yeah kiss the affliction
Oh a pretty kill away, a kill away tonight

[Jesse to God]
Oh tell me Lord,
why am I here? Lost in all our pain and sorrow
Are we to live in pain and fear?
Oh tell me Lord,

Oh I, I was marked from the day I was born
A rebel and I was the one who I am
My father could not understand the fire in me
There was, there was times I was crazy for real
So crazy I just couldn't feel, no, no, no
Confusion would stand in the door and tell me lies
But now I stand on my feet so alive
I'm a metal warrior, I need their cries, War Cry
I'm a soldier, soldier, a soldier of fortune
Ah, come take a stand
Together we'll let out a cry
I'm a soldier, soldier, a soldier of fortune
Ah, come take a stand
Together we'll never say die
Oh I, I did not choose, the music chose me
I was christened and destined to be who I am
The one that they said would be damned
A hellion child that...?
I stand at the mirror and sing
I dare to be different and dream, now I am
Big thunder that rolls on the land forever wild
But still, this feeling inside never die
I'm a metal warrior, I need their cries, War Cry
I'm a soldier, soldier, a soldier of fortune
Ah, come take a stand
Together we'll let out a cry
I'm a soldier, soldier, a soldier of fortune
Ah, Come take a stand
Together we'll never say die
Raise your fist and support your rebel outlaws
Cause nobody rides for free
The freedom we lose today, you lose tomorrow
Because freedom means something to us...
I'm a soldier, soldier, a soldier of fortune
Ah, come take a stand
Together we'll let out a cry
I'm a soldier, soldier, a soldier of fortune
Ah, come take a stand
Together we'll never say die

[Originally performed by Queen]
Get your party gown
Get your pigtail down
Get your heart beatin' baby
Got my timin' right
Got my act all tight
It's gotta be tonight my little
Schoolbabe
Your mamma says you don't
And your daddy says you won't
And I'm boilin' up inside
Ain't no way I'm gonna lose out this time
Tie your mother down
Tie your mother down
Lock your daddy out of doors
I don't need him nosin' around
Tie your mother down
Tie your mother down
Give me all your love tonight
You're such a dirty louse
Go get outta my house
That's all I ever got from your
Family ties, in fact I don't think I ever heard
A single little civil word from those guys
But you know I don't give a light
I'm gonna make out all right
I've got a sweet heart band
To put a stop to all that
Grousin' an' shipin'
Tie your mother down -
Tie your mother down -
Take your little brother swimmin'
Tie your mother down,
Tie your mother down
Or you ain't no friend of mine
Your mamma and your Daddy gonna
Plague me till I die
Why can't the understand I'm just a
Peace lovin' guy
Tie your mother down
Tie your mother down...

[INSTRUMENTAL]
....

[Jesse to the Invisible Circus]
Welcome to my world
To my kingdom of make believe
I'm your new Messiah
You'll worship at my feet
Welcome Kingdom Come
To disciples that I preach
Will ya, bow down before me and
Will you remember me?
[Invisible Circus] Dying for you
[Jesse] Will I lie to thousands
[Invisible Circus] Our God is you
[Jesse] Am I deceit?
[Invisible Circus] Falling for you
[Jesse] I am the God man
[Invisible Circus] Our God is you
[Jesse] You're all at my feet
[Jesse to the Invisible Circus]
Take me
Change me
Love me
A crown of thorns on my heart
Change me
Save me
Will you love me?
Forever nailed to your cross

I was the boy unwanted, a prisoner I'm born to them
My brother was the one, the couldn't do no wrong
And I was there dying in the shadow of him
Red, crimson red, am I the invisible boy?
Feel the strap, cross my back
Yeah I'm the new whipping boy
Who am I - the orphan son you would never need?
Who am I - cause I'm the boy only the mirror sees
Who am I - the slave you gave just the air I breathe?
Who am I - cause I'm the boy only the mirror sees
Oh I got the same old reruns, horror movies in my head
And I can't rest, the scare me to death
But if I'm not alive, how can I be dead?
Red, crimson red, am I the invisible boy?
Feel the strap, cross my back
Yeah I'm the new whipping boy
Oh, why me?
The mirror
Why him
Can you tell me?
It's confession again?
Come talk to me, I see in your eyes
Titantic misery, ashamed that you're alive
I'm the face that you see
When the face isn't yours
I'm the mirror my boy

[Jesse to God] A storm is come
One war of sun and rain – within me
A raging storm
Lost crossroads thundering – in the wind
Dark and son
Who’s the only one
To lay claim of me
Altars of store
Righteous temptations
Here at my feet
Give me love
To rage in me can you see?
Only love
Is saving me
Give me love, oh love
That rage in me
It rages on
Of mourn and memories
In the wind
A warring storm
My soul is bargaining – in the end
Is there no sun?
With only love in vain – and it’s pain
Hear me oh Lord
Cleanse me evermore with
Your blood of rain
Holy war for my soul
Scars of memories remain
Oh, tell me why am I here
Storms of crossroads and rage

He came from the East
They called him a beast
This king of terror insane
Neutron Ronnie, the people would whisper his name
Dangerous and mad
A torch in his hand
Spread fire by the light of the moon
Ooh, pyrotechnical wizard of doom
Oh no here comes Ronnie
Ah the bombers insane
Ah till he dies it'll burn in his eyes
A phantom so cool
A midnight would rule
And molotov cocktail would rain
Babies screamin'
And house would go up in flames
When next Ronnie goes, nobody knows
But inside him's where Lucifer hides
Ooh, he's the boy with the bombs at his side
Ooh no here comes Ronnie, ah the boy with the flame
Ah his life has been burning inside
Oh no no here comes Ronnie
Ah the bombers insane
Ah till he dies the burning in his eyes
Oh no here comes Ronnie
Ah the boy with the flame
Ah his life has been burning inside
Oh no no here comes Ronnie
Ah the bombers insane
As till he dies the burning in his eyes

One night as I rolled down some long winding road
I saw you and I knew I couldn't let you go
Half child and all woman, vision fantasy
Lost against the moonlight bathed in ecstasy
Leopard's skin and cat's eyes
Has the jungle made you wild
The prey you're after, is you faster
Will it make you smile
Ride with me, I'll set you free
Chains can't hold us down
I need you, if you want me
Lovers we are bound
[REFRAIN:]
Sweet cheetah, cheetah
I love it when your claws run through me
Fever, fever, I love it, babe
Come do it to me
Cheetah, cheetah
I love it when your claws run through me
Fever, fever, I love it, babe
Come do it to me now
Skin tight you move in so slowly to thrill
Waiting for the nightmare then you're in for the kill
Amazon so sleekly you know what to do
Eat the flesh, and save my heart
And leave it when you're through
Pain and pleasures all mine
Untamed and running wild
Sink your teeth into me
Lick your lips and smile
Take my hand and ride the land
Forever you and me
Hold on tight to me all night
And set your spirit free
[REFRAIN:]

Welcome to the show the great finale's finally here
I thank you for coming into my theatre of fear
Welcome to the show, you're all witnesses you see
A privileged invitation to the last rights of me
Remember me? You can't save me
Mama you never needed me
No crimson king, look in my eye, you'll see
Mama I'm lonely, it's only me, only me
I don't wanna be, I don't wanna be, I don't wanna be
The crimson idol of a million
I don't wanna be, I don't wanna be, I don't wanna be
The crimson idol of a million eyes, of a million
I am the prisoner of the paradise I dreamed
The idol of a million lonely faces look at me
Behind the mask of sorrow, four doors of doom behind my eyes
I've got their footprints all across my crimson mind
Long live, long live, long live the king of mercy
Long live, long live
There is no love, to shelter me
Only love, love set me free
No love, to shelter me, only love, love set me free
I was the warrior, with an anthem in my soul
The idol of eight thousand lonely days of rage ago
And remember me when it comes your time to choose
Be careful what you wish for, it might just come true
Red, crimson red, am I the invisible boy
The strap on my back
Red, crimson red, no I was never to be
Only one crimson son, no it never was me
Living in the limelight little did I know
I was dying in the shadows and the mirror was my soul
It was all I ever wanted, everything I dreamed
But the dream became my nightmare and no-one could hear me scream
With these six-strings, I make a noose
To take my life, it's time to choose
The headlines read of my suicide, of my suicide
Oh sweet silence, where is the sting
I am no idol, no crimson king
I'm the imposter, the world has seen
My father was the idol, it was never me
I don't wanna be, I don't wanna be, I don't wanna be
The crimson idol of a million
I don't wanna be, I don't wanna be, I don't wanna be
The crimson idol of a million eyes
No love, to shelter me, only love
Love set me free
No love, to shelter me, only love
Love set me free

I saw my face in the mirror
And now I understand
Johathon Jonathon Jonathon....
I'm just a man

Give me a ticket on a jet airplane
I'm a-gonna take it
I live my life in the fast lane, the only way to make it
And I keep on going all night long
Cause that's the way I like it
And with what you got in the heat of the night
I know we got to try it
Until the flame burns out
Until the flame burns out
So turn it up, your radio
Everybody shake it
I'm a hundred degrees, with wild fantasies
And I need someone to make it
Show me a place where love is sweet
I ain't gonna fake it
And hey little girl if you want my love
Then now's the time to take it
Before the flame burns out
Before the flame burns out
Before the flame burns out
Before the flame burns out
Turn up the flame your hips are fire
You're so hot I got to try ya
Show me the spot and I'll hit the mark
Baby I got the gasoline and you got the sparks
Before the flame burns out
Before the flame burns out
Until the flame burns out

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls
And wild ones of all ages
Step right up, I welcome you to come on in
Inside the Electric Circus
The music is your passport, your magic key
To all the madness that awaits you
Feel the thunder and the frenzy
And see all the unusual animals
And the animals?
Well they're something else

Oh, all I need was someone to love me
Oh, all I needed was one
There's no one who cares
Oh, all I need was someone to love me
Oh, all I needed was one
There's no one who cares

[Jesse to the invisible Circus]
Welcome to my world
To my Kingdome of make believe
I'm your new Messiah
You'll worship at my feet
Welcome Kingdome come
To disciples that I preach
Will ya, bow down before my and
Will you remember me?
[Invisible Circus] Dying for you
[Jesse] Will I lie to thousands
[Invisible Circus] Our God is you
[Jesse] Am I deceit?
[Invisible Circus] Falling for you
[Jesse] I am the God man
[Invisible Circus] Our God is you
[Jesse] You're all at my feet
[Jesse to the invisible Circus]
Take me
Change me
Love me
A crown of thorns on my heart
Change me
Save me
Will you love me?
Forever nailed to you cross

When the truth is found to be lies
You know the joy within you dies
Don't you want somebody to love?
Don't you want somebody to love?
Wouldn't you love somebody to love?
You better find someone to love
When the dawn is rose they are dead
Yes, and you're mine, you're so full of red
Don't you want somebody to love?
Don't you need somebody to love?
Wouldn't you love somebody to love?
You better find someone to love
Your eyes, I say your eyes may look like his
Yeah, but in your head, baby
I'm afraid you don¹t know where it is
Don't you want somebody to love?
Don't you need somebody to love?
Wouldn't you love somebody to love?
You better find somebody to love
Tears are running
Running along down your breast
And your friends, baby
They treat you like a guest
Don't you want somebody to love?
Don't you need somebody to love?
Wouldn't you love somebody to love?

'I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of American. And
to the republic for which it stands. One nation under gob,
indivisible... with liberty and justice for all!'
My eyes are burning
Bells are ringing in my ears
Alarm clock's wailing
Class bells screaming
I can't hear!
A text book mad house
Twelve years
I'm here in a rage
A juvenile jail
And I'm here locked up
In their cage!
School daze! School daze!
I'm here doing time
School daze! School daze!
My age is a crime
School daze! School daze!
I'm here doing time
School daze! School daze!
I'm attending 'Hell high'
A blackboard jungle tows the line
The rulers made
A homework hellhouse
Screams at me
Yes, it's a grave!
Tick-tock, 3 o'clock
I'm sitting here
I'm counting off the days
A fire bell's ringing hell
And I'd sure like to see the blaze!
Write it down!
School daze! School daze!
I'm here doing time
School daze! School daze!
My age is a crime
School daze! School daze!
I'm here doing time
School daze! School daze!
I'm attending 'Hell high'
I pledge no allegiance
And I bet
They're gonna drive me craze yet
Nobody here
Is understanding me
I pledge no allegiance
And I bet
They're gonna drive me craze yet
I'm dying here
And trying to get free!
Wow!

I'm looking to beat hell, looks like
I've got to run to be the leader
As my forces yell, you can hear 'em, can't you hear them?
All the way-we'll go the distance
All the way-stand behind me now
All the way-no turning back
All the way cause we are together
I'm standin' proud, we're screaming loud
I'll lead the crowd
Running wild in the streets
A heavy dose of mean, yeah, I'm a lethal combination
Hear my forces scream, you can see them, can't you see them?
All the way-we'll go the distance
All the way-stand behind me now
All the way-no turning back
All the way we are together
I'm standin' proud, we're screaming loud
I'll lead the crowd
Running wild in the streets

I ride, I ride the winds that bring the rain
A creature of love and I can't be tamed
I want you, cause I'm gonna take your love from him
And I'll touch your face and hot burning skin
No, he'll never ever touch you like I do
So look in my eyes and burn alive the truth
I'm a wild child, come and love me I want you
My heart's in exile I need you to touch me
Cause I want what you do... I want you
Tell me, tell me the lies you're telling him
When you run away cause I wanna know
Cause I, I'm sure it's killing him to find
That you run to me when he lets you go
Cause I'm burning, burning, burning up with fire
So come turn me on and turn the flames up higher
I'm a wild child, come and love me I want you
My heart's in exile I need you to touch me
Cause I want what you do... I want you
A naked heat machine, I want your love
When the moons arise we'll feel just what it does
I'm a wild child, come and love me I want you
My heart's in exile I need you to touch me
Cause I want what you do I want you

ANGEL OF ORLEANS in me
I'll tell you no lies
Ravens have bore me wings to fly
King of the night time forever
It's all I'm living for
I'll embrace my immortal
Forever night
One crimson kiss is bleeding
My raven heart
Tales of the darkside here is all right
Bring me the nighttime forever
It's all you're dying for
Take me hand and I'll show ya
Forever night
Raven - say you want me to
Rain the dark on forever you
Raven heart
No there ain't nothing dark that I won't do
My raven heart'll bleed all over you

(Instrumental)

Dancing with danger
Right out your door
The silk hat you buy
And you sell
Mommy and daddy said
The life that you led
Will probably lead your way to hell!
On your knees!
Are you sassy?
On your knees!
Cause I want you
On your knees!
Are you sassy?
On your knees!
Cause I need you
Playing with fire
Lusting with burns
Thrusting the flames in your eyes!
Sex is painted same
They're really the same
Just use and abuse them
On your knees!
Are you sassy?
On your knees!
Cause I want you
On your knees!
Are you sassy?
On your knees!
Cause I need you
On your knees
that's where you all shall be!
Well, I'll get you contest
Your first really sin, ha-ha-ha!!!
Running in the wild wind!
And the dark fills the mystery!
We'll all be there someday!
On your knees!
Are you sassy?
On your knees!
Cause I want you
On your knees!
Are you sassy?
On your knees!
Cause I need you
Yeah!

Am I free? Am I done believing?
God Jehovah, I've never known religion
Lost in the darkness of my memories
Deep in the darkness of my heart
Coiled in the grass's that torment me
There lyes my serpents in the dark
Father, I'm here in the dark
And I know it's forever night
He tells me can you change forever
My wicked heart
Father I'm here in the dark
And I know my heart is the darkness
Oh, tell me can you claim me never
My darkest hour
Am I too far beyond forgiving?
A borrowed soul ain't never known believing
Lost in the dark can you forgive me
And deep in the darkness of my heart
Coiled in the grass's that torment me
There lies my serpents in the dark
Father, I'm here in the dark
And I know it's forever night
He tells me can you change forever
My wicked heart
Father I'm here in the dark
And I know my heart is the darkness
Oh, tell me can you claim me never
My darkest hour
Because nothing can change
My wicked heart
Nothing can tame
My wicked heart
Nothing unchains
My wicked heart
Father
Father
Father
Father, I'm here in the dark
And I know it's forever night
He tells me can you change forever
My wicked heart
Father I'm here in the dark
And I know my heart is the darkness
Oh, tell me can you claim me never
My darkest hour
Because nothing can change
My wicked heart
Nothing can tame
My wicked heart
Nothing unchains

I was born Jonathon Aaron Steel, to the parents of
William and Elizabeth
steel. I am a Leo, born under the sign of the lion and
I was raised in a
lower middle class family with only one brother Michael
whom I love
dearly. He was five years my senior. My father's
nickname was Red which I
could never understand why because his hair was sandy
blond. Nevertheless,
the name stuck. So when my brother was born my father
became Big Red and
my brother Little Red. I should have known from the
first time when I
realised their special connection, that I just didn't
fit in to my
father's plans. And as I grew older the constant
comparison between my
brother and myself left little doubt who was the image
of perfection in my
father's eye. To him, my brother could do no wrong and
I became The
Invisible Boy, the proverbial 'black sheep' and I soon
figured out that
red and black don't mix. The beatings I received became
more and more
frequent to the point where I would ask my father "Am I
the orphaned son
you would never need"? But oddly enough I worshipped
the ground my father
walked upon.
My brother and I were a strange mixture, as different
as daylight and
dark. Looking back, it's hard to imagine we came from
the same parents. I
sometimes wondered if we had the same father, but I
always dismissed that
idea as my mother was far too religious, my father as
well, to ever even
think of such a thing. But my brother who had always
sensed my parent's
instilled insecurities tried his best to encourage me.
For I was born
different and he knew it. He often told me when I was
born an angel flew
over my bed and christened me with a magic wand and
said "You shall be the
one". And I had no idea what 'The one' was, but as I
grew older I began to
understand. Most boys put their mother on a pedestal
and worship them like
the Virgin Mary but with her too my relationship was
different and not for
the good. She was opinionated, uneducated, sometimes
prejudiced,
overbearing, believed everything she read, true or not,
and when it came
to religion was over-zealous to say the least. A mind
boggling combination
but she was pretty, very pretty and I would often
wonder, bordering on
complete confusion, how a person of this description
could rationalise life.
This was a series of characteristics that many times in
my life I would
look back on in bewilderment and the women I sought
after when I was older
would be nothing like her. In the pain of youth, the
misery of my neglect,
would manifest itself in many ways; depression - my
enemy, fear - my
friend, hatred - my lover, and anger - fuel for my
fire. These four
characteristics of my personality would become the
guiding force of my
life and would control everything I did or was to
become. I shall explain
later in the story about them which I call my Four
Doors of Doom.
The mirror, the great plaything for man's vanity. The
mirror was to
become, at times, my altar of refuge and other, my
alter ego and its
magnificent obsession with a relentless pursuit of
attention. It served as
a chilling reflection of my own wretchedness and my
greatness. It was the
one place I could go to see inside myself, to find
love, in an otherwise
loveless household where I could be great, where I
could be anything or
anyone I wanted to be - one hundred percent pure
escapism until I
discovered its precious secret. The mirror lives, it
breathes, it talks,
it lies, it has a personality all its own. It is a
genie that grants all
the wishes you could ever dream, at least in my case -
all except two.
It was my 14th birthday, the day that changed my life
forever. My brother
Michael, the one person who was my guiding light, my
friend, my hero, was
killed by a drunk driver in a head-on collision. He
died instantly. I
couldn't even bring myself to go to his funeral. My
agony was so great I
just couldn't come face to face with him that one last
time. My failure to
attend intensified my parents' resentment for me even
more. But from that
moment on, nothing seemed to matter, especially that
living hell called
'home'. For one year after his death I roamed the
streets in a fog barely
conscious of anything or anyone. I discovered alcohol,
and girls, drugs
and in general a life I had never known which was
exciting, frightening
and wonderfully dangerous. And it was then as I
staggered through a down
town city street in one of my drunken rages I stumbled
across a small
music shop and in the window stood the instrument, the
fiery tool that
would become the object of my new found desire. The
instrument of my
passion, my obsession, the blood-red six string. It was
like I'd known
the thing all my life.
I soon found it was the only way I could truly express
myself. It was a
way to vent all my frustrations and all my pain -
completely opened all my
Four Doors Of Doom and I found myself going to the
mirror for counsel less
and less. Because of this my songs seemed to write
themselves and I knew
my destiny was in my music but I was going to have to
get out of this
backwards town I was in if I was ever going to succeed.
I was 16 going
nowhere and the only thing my parents knew was 'live,
work, die. ' And if I
stayed there that was exactly what was going to happen
to me - I was gonna
die. So I ran away to the big city with the lights,
excitement and danger
and a chance for me to finally live and do my music
without the
persecution I had known for so long. I hitchhiked all
the way with a
suitcase in one hand and my guitar in the other and as
I stood at the edge
of the city the magic of the place was incredibly
intense. It was to be my
new home the place I would call the 'Arena Of
Pleasure'. I lived and
struggled in the arena for two years trying to get a
break in music and
make a record and that's when I ran across a delightful
business man named
Charlie. He had been a lawyer for 25 years before he
discovered he could
fuck over more people in the recording industry then he
ever could in a
court of law and he was the president of one of the
biggest record
companies in the world. The music business to Charlie
was nothing more
than a sacrificial lamb to be led to slaughter and the
weapon of choice
was his record company that he'd wield like a mighty
sword. The great tool
he would lovingly refer to as 'The Chainsaw'. The
morgue, Charlie said,
was the music business where everyone sells out. Where
all the artists
will eventually whore themselves to commercialism, the
place where the
music comes to die. And through him I learned
everything I needed to know
about the music business and even things I didn't want
to know. He said he
could make me a star, one of the biggest things the
world had ever seen.
The big time was calling and I was on my way. He
introduced me to an
aspiring young manager named Alex Rodman and together
we took on the whole
fucking world and kicked it square in the ass.
Just before the release of my first album I was sitting
on the steps in
front of my apartment when a gypsy woman passed by. She
stopped and asked
me if I would like my fortune read and I had never had
it done so I was
more than happy to say yes. She revealed a deck of
Tarot cards and began
to tell me of my past in which she went into great
detail about the pain
of my youth, my brother and my parents. She saw my
present with my great
struggle to succeed and fulfillment of my dreams and
new found happiness
but after about ten minutes she stopped and I wanted to
know of my future
and pleaded for her to go on and finally she spoke. She
showed me a very
disturbing vision of where I was going. I told her that
I wanted a
phenomenal wealth and fame and in the cards she saw a
fallen hero and
looked at me and said "Be careful what you wish for -
it might come true,
for the face of death wears the mask of the King of
Mercy". I asked her if
she was sure of what she had seen and with a blank
stare she turned and
walked away leaving me with the cards and a haunting
that would follow me
the rest of my life.
Success agreed with me with amazing ease. The more
records I sold the more
excess I had of everything - friends, money, women,
cars, houses. It was
at one of my nightly hedonisms where a flash individual
entered the room.
He introduced himself as the Doctor. I asked him what
kind of doctor and
he smiled and said, "meet my friend Uncle Sam". The
mirror that was once
on the wall, my alter ego, was now talking to me from
the table and the
next three years were a blur. Drugs became the new
candy and alcohol
became the new Coca Cola and Doctor Rockter was my new
best friend and I
never heard the mirror speak again until tonight.
I was at the peak of my career and the world saw me as
I had always wanted
it, The Idol, the Great Crimson Idol. Now I had
everything it seemed,
everything but the one thing that would have meant more
to me than
anything. The pain that manifested itself into my
obsession, the
acceptance of me by my father and mother, who I had not
spoken to since
I had left home.
One morning my manager Alex came in and broke up one of
our nightly Easy
Rider Parties. An Easy Rider Party was when everybody
would come over to
my house, the band, the doctor, hot and cold running
women etc. And we'd
watch the movie and do everything going on the film
only a lot more. And
he threatened to leave me if I didn't clean up. It was
not that he cared
about me as a person he was only interested in my
talent and what I could
do to further his own career as a true showbiz mogul.
But it was then I
realised just how far things had gone. So I sat there
alone in my palace
of pain and I was just numb from the alcohol and the
drugs but equally as
intoxicated by my own fame and I had just enough
courage to pick up the
phone and dial the number. My mind went into a
whirlwind thinking of what
would happen and the fear overcame me and I started to
put down the phone
but before I could a voice at the other end rang out
and it sent a chill
through me that I had never known. It was my mother. It
was hard for me to
speak, my heart pounding out of my chest but when I did
I did the best I
could. She was very cold. But I knew the shock of
suddenly hearing from me
after all these years was overwhelming and I was hoping
that all the time
that had passed would heal the deep wounds between my
parents and me
but... I desperately wanted them to approve of me, to
accept me - it was
all I ever wanted. I hoped my success would finally
prove my worthiness
and they would welcome the prodigal son home. All I
wanted was for them to
be proud of me but less than 50 words were spoken. The
last four were "We
have no son".
Some wounds never heal and mine had scarred me for
life. A great star fell
from the sky that night and with its descent left a
scorched path in its
way - a great path of self-destruction before burning
out. And on this
night the great finale is finally here. 'Be careful
what you wish for - it
may come true. ' Long live, long live the King of