(C.W. McCall, Bill Fries, Chip Davis)
Dum da-da-dah dum da-da-dah dum da-da-dah dum-dum
Dum da-da-dah dum da-da-dah dum da-da-dah da-da-da
Dum dum da-dum-dum-da-dum
Dum dum da-dum-dum-da-dum (dum, dum)
Bill Fries says that this is based on a true story from the late '60s, when a band of hippies rolled into Telluride and decided to stay.
One day about four or five years ago
We is settin' at the Conoco station
Kickin' tires, and swattin' flies,
And discussin' the State of the Union
When right out in front of the Baptist church
Come a big ol' purple school bus
Had astrological signs upon it
And thirty-five hippies and dogs inside
About half of 'em went for the courthouse lawn
And them dogs commenced on the fireplug
Rest of 'em set there starin' at us
And I says, "Roy, go get your Flit gun"
He says, "Which is the hippies? And which is the dogs?"
I says, "Beats the hell outta me, Roy."
What they was, was a bunch a' them Crispy Critters
And their leader was a space cadet
He says, "Sagittarius, we has arrived.
"Prepare to disembark, men.
"Get the incense goin' and the sitar out
"We gonna camp in the city park, man."
I says, "Boys, let me explain the situation to ya.
"A: you're gettin' me down
"And B: we got us a leash law here
"And C: you in the wrong town.
"You drop one string a' beads in that there park
"And you gonna see a whole lotta stars.
"You got fifteen seconds to get out of town, boys,
"Or we gonna blow ya ta Mars."
Well, they all got back in the purple bus
And proceeded to the city limits.
Then the telephone rang, was the swimmin' pool
Says a mess a' wild Critters was in it!
So we all got in the Marshal's Plymouth
(Which is always at the Conoco station)
Went flashin' on down to the swimmin' pool
To give them Critters a citation
By the time we arrived, it was too damn late
Them critters is all had their pants down
Them dogs was tearin' the bathhouse apart,
And they's after the fish in the fish pond!
I says, "Roy, you get the one in the silver T-shirt
"And I'll get the rest with a net.
"We gonna have a jail full a' naked Crispy Critters
"And a drip-dry space cadet."
[You've watched The Dukes of Hazzard, haven't you? C'mon, admit it; nobody's looking. Well, at this point in the song there's a short interlude which resembles a car chase on Dukes. There's banjo pickin' and yee-hawin' and a general sense of raucous abandon. Oh, yeah, and a few dog barks. It's round-up time at the swimmin' pool.]
Well, we gave 'em hell, but we lost the war
'Cause them Critters outnumbered us
So they moved in and set up camp
And they lived in that purple school bus
Six weeks later, there was nothin' in town
But eighty-four dogs and a head shop
Sellin' dried up weeds, and sunflower seeds,
And astrological postcards
Yeah, Critters took over the City Council
And the dogs all barked their brains out
And the whole damn town was Crispy Critters
[The only musical instrument heard is the plucking of a Jew's harp.]
I had an old cat named Roy.
He was a good ol' boy.
He used to go a-huntin', down by the lake,
Catch 'im a nice, fresh garter snake.
Bring 'im on back and then set in the grass,
Lookin' like he had 'im a green mustache.
Yeah, Roy was a good ol' boy.
From the album Wolf Creek Pass
When the skies are gray, and the wind is cold, I remember. How the snow was silver, and the leaves were gold when I left her. It was early mornin', on a Rocky Mountain September. And she was gone.
Well now it's five A.M. an' I'm a hunnert an' ten miles from Denver
An' the snow is silver an' the leaves are gold an' I miss her
'Cause it's another mornin' on a another mountain September
An' I'm alone
Yeah, we climbed the mountain together, an' we stood on top a' the world. But now I gotta remember it all... alone.
When the fire is warm, an' the sun is cool, in November. When my heart is young, and my mind is old, I remember. An early mornin', on a Rocky Mountain September. And she's gone.
Well now it's fall again an' I'm a thousand miles from nowhere
An' I can can hear her voice an' I see her smile an' I miss her
An' it's another mornin' on another mountain September
An' I'm alone
[Chorus]
Four wheel cowboy
Four wheel cowboy
Four wheel cowboy
Jeepin' down to Santa Fe
Well, Denver town an' I'm outta the chute
Foot in the gas an' a hole in my boot
And I'm outbound, yeah
Gonna see my momma in Santa Fe
I'm over the Hump and I'm on my way
I'm southbound
[Chorus]
Three hundred miles to Santa Fe
Got a momma to see or the Devil to pay
Gonna be there by the break of day
And I'm southbound
Three hundred miles to Santa Fe
Got a momma to see or the Devil to pay
Gonna be there by the break of day
And I'm southbound
Now this ol' Jeep needs a coat a' paint
But she makes up for what I ain't
She got feelin'
I only know one thing fer sure
This pony a' mine don't need no spurs
She's squealin'
[Chorus]
Four wheel cowboy
Four wheel cowboy
Four wheel cowboy
Jeepin' down to Santa Fe
Well, Texaco's open in Trindad
I didn't stop for gas but I wished I had
'Cause I could use some
They's a bunch a' wild women in Walsenburg
They all make love like a buffalo herd
I wish I knew one
[Chorus]
Two hundred miles to Santa Fe
Gonna be there by the break of day
Got a momma to see or the Devil to pay
And I'm southbound
Two hundred miles to Santa Fe
Gonna be there by the break of day
Got a momma to see or the Devil to pay
And I'm southbound
Rattlin' down off a' Raton Pass
Glorieta Hill like a sheet a' glass
And I'm slippin'
Pedalin' down past Pecos town
My go foot up and my stop foot down
I'm slidin'
[Chorus]
Four wheel cowboy
Four wheel cowboy
Four wheel cowboy
Jeepin' down to Santa Fe
Now Momma's just like this here ol' Jeep
She's tough and fast and she runs real cheap
And she's drivin'
Well, sun comin' up in New Mexico sky
Got a burr in my saddle and a fire in my eye
An' I'm flyin'
[Chorus]
Fifteen miles to Santa Fe
Gonna be there by the break of day
Got a momma to see or the Devil to pay
And I'm southbound
Fifteen miles to Santa Fe
Gonna be there by the break of day
Got a momma to see or the Devil to pay
And I'm southbound
C'mon now, Paint
We almost there
Only one more mile, honey
We comin' Momma
Here we come
Can'tcha see us comin' Momma?
We comin'!
Only one more mile, Momma!
We stuck into four wheel drive, baby!
Here we come!
Ev'ry evenin', when the sun goes down
And nobody can see me
I get my Chevy an' I cruise around
Makin' love on my CB
I say, "Breaker broker for the Wolfman, baby
We lookin' for Red Ridin' Hoods
We definitely wants to modulate
We on the side, in the woods"
[Chorus]
Two-way lovin'
That's all I want to doo-woo-woo
Two-way lovin'
That's all I ever want to doo-oo-oo-oo-oo
An' she say "My, what a big pair of ears you have."
[Chorus]
Mama wants an eighty-eight
Now the other evenin' I was all alone
Wasn't nothin' to do
I called my baby on my microphone
Says, "Hello, where is you?"
She said her twenty was a-Grandma's place
(Which is down in the woods)
I ask her do she want to modulate?
Like a good Hood should
[Chorus]
Love me baby, hold me tight
Kiss me with your little mike
Don't you turn your squelch on me
Two-way lovin'
That's all I ever want to doo-doo-doo-doo doo-doo
Doo-doo?
She say, "My, what a big 10-4 you have, baby"
[Chorus]
Mama hold your mike up tight
Daddy treat your beaver right
YEE-HAW! Merciful sakes alive! You wanna be one a' them CBers, you gonna learn how to ratchetjaw! Pay attention now; I'm only gonna explain it to ya once.
You gotta go runnin' amuck in a pick-'em-up truck
With one a' those fancy sidebands?
Get four-on-the-floor and two on the door
Get a power mike in yer jaw-hand
Prepare to strike when ya key the mike
'Cause ya never know who's a-listenin'
Some clown insists on a 10-36
This here's what you give 'im:
"Four, good buddy, I made me a study
An' I figger it's the dark a' the moon, son
It's half-past spring an' a quarter ta fall
An' the big hand's a-settin' on noon, son
Now if the fish don't bite and the almanac's right
And the groundhog sees his shadow
A 10-36 goes tick-tock-tick."
And that's what I call ratchetjaw!
Gotta git ya a base, out there at yer place
With a forty-foot pole on the chimney
With a thousand watts in yer flowerpots
And a ree-mote line in the biffy
If ya feel a twitch when ya throw the switch
Ya gonna dim all the lights in Wichita
Gonna send out a wave ta make the government rave
And this here's whatcha tell 'em all:
"Yeah, four, good buddy, yer comin' in cruddy
But yer walkin' right through my wall, boy
Yer carrier's cool, you makin' me drool
You were definitely battin' my ball, boy
You hittin' me round about fifteen pound
You cut me up like a bandsaw
But what the heck, it's just a radio check."
And that there's how to ratchetjaw
[CB conversations. They're overlaid, as if you're listening to a party line.]
[Woman's voice] Breaker, breaker, breaker, breaker. We lookin' for that one Buffalo Roy out there. Buffalo Roy, what's your twenty? Where are you anyway, Buffalo Roy? Are you out there? Come on in there, Buffalo Roy. 10-4.
[Man's voice] Lissen, you. Shut up on all them breakers. One breaker's enough. [words missing]...channel all the time. Can't hear a damn thing anybody's sayin'.
[C.W.] Buffalo Roy? That's a dumb handle.
Wanna feel some pain? Just turn up yer gain
Get a fearful earful a' garbage
Ta suppress a belch, just hit yer squelch
You can cut out all the carnage
You wanna have fun, you son-of-a-guns
Just get on the press-ta-talk switch
You gonna amuse 'em an' really confuse 'em
With a little ol' thing called ratchetjaw
Yeah, let them suckers think yer a trucker
Say stuff they can't understand, son
Just bounce up-an'-down while yer toolin' around
Gonna sound like a truck-drivin' man, son
Just tell yer beaver that you gonna leave 'er
You catch her on the bounce-around
If she comes back with a smart-off crack
Say "X-Y-L, it's show-an'-tell. We definitely got us to go now.
Keep yer pants on honey, hang onto the money
Yer X-Y-M's gotta blow now
Eighty-eight, thirds, and feed my bird
An' all them numbers upon ya all
If speed don't kill, then CB will."
And that's what I call ratchetjaw
[More CB conversations.]
Breaker, breaker, breaker, breaker, breaker, breaker, [repeated almost ad infinitum, punctuated by bouts of laughter]
[On the CB.]
Breaker, one-nine, this here's the Duck again. You got a copy on me Pig Pen, c'mon? Ah, negatory, Pig Pen, there ain't no way out 'cept for that one Atlantic Ocean. Now listen, drop them hogs off in Omaha and get over here in a short, 'cause it definitely looks like we got us a problem.
Bears to the left; bears to the right
We didn't have no place to go.
They had us backed up clean to the shore,
And them cab-over Petes don't float.
I says, "Pig Pen, I got me a good idea.
Them Friends a' Jesus gonna save us!
"So praise the Lord and Mister Ford,
And follow that micra-bus, ten-four.
[Now, imagine a bunch of rowdy pirates -- the buccaneer type, not software -- chanting the Chorus.]
[Chorus]
Yo ho ho, and a thousand trucks
Gonna take a bath with a Rubber Duck
Yo ho ho, and a lots a' luck
'Round the world with the Rubber Ducky!
Yeah, we drove on the water like diesel whales
Sank about a hunnert-and-ten of 'em
I says, "Pig Pen, they just didn't have no faith
"They definitely gone ten-seven."
By the time we got into that Piccadilly Town,
'Bout half of 'em was lost at sea
I says, "Break one-nine for a ten-thirty-three"
What we got was the cotton-pickin' BBC
[Spoken, in a sorta British accent]
I say, Fabersham. Looks likes the Americans have got themselves another bloody Convoy.
[Chorus]
Yo ho ho, and a thousand trucks
Gonna take a bath with a Rubber Duck
Yo ho ho, and a lots a' luck
'Round the world with the Rubber Ducky!
[Spoken, in the same sorta British accent]
Good heavens! Look at them all! Half of them are sinking in the Thames! Hello! Some of our truck chaps are assisting them. Good show, actually. Oh, well, ten-four and all that rubbish.
Well, we crossed that Channel like snakes on glass
And stormed the beach about dawn
I says, "Grab your shifters and punch 13
"We all goin' truckin' on the Autobahn.
"Now, Pig Pen, this here's the ultimate slab
"'Cause there goes a Mercedes truck."
He says, "Break one-three for the Strudel Machine
"Ya just blew the doors off'n the Duck. How 'bout it?"
[Spoken, in a sorta German accent. A really bad German accent.]
Oh, zehn-vier, Rubber Duck. Ve are receiving you vall-to-vall, but the schpeed limit on za Autobahn is triple-nickels. You travel too schlow, Rubber Duck. We gonna see you around. We gone. Wiedersehen.
[If you know the song, then you can skip this note. If you don't, then a bit of explanation is necessary. During the next verse, the chorus (the singers, not the words) is heard in the background. What they're singing is what's printed in the tiny little letters. No, I am not making this up. That's what they're singing.]
Well, we stopped for a coffee in West Berlin
Dumb, dumb, dumb. This is
The British had hundred-mile tea
dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb.
I says, "Pig Pen, from here on it's wall-to-wall bears."
Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb,
Says, "Bash the Wall; we gonna see."
Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb.
Well, them big red bears must'a been in the bush
Dumb, dumb, dumb. This is
'Cause we didn't see a one all day
Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb,
So we raked up the leaves and we shook out the tree
Dumb, dumb, dumb. This is
'Til they finally had something to say
Dumb, dumb, dumb.
You got it..
[Spoken in a bad Russian accent. A really bad... you know the rest.]
Comrade Duck: you have been given until daybreak in Murmansk to get your cotton-pickin' trucks out of the U. S. S. of R. You will copy!
[That 'dumb' chorus continues.]
Well, we shot them rigs through salt-mine city
Dumb, dumb
With a hammer and a sickle on down
Dumb, dumb
Then we hit the fan through the Sea of Japan
Dumb, dumb
Tooled into Transistor Town
Dumb, dumb
I says, "Pig Pen, this here must be the place,
Dumb, dumb
"'Cause everybody's eatin' with sticks."
Dumb, dumb
He says, "Ten-Four, this here is CB land
Dumb, dumb
"'Cause my channel knob just went crick."
Dumb, dumb
[Spoken in a really bad Japanese (fill in the blank)]
Ah so, Lubba Duck. You have a nice day today, betta day tomollow. We catch you on frip-frop. This one Kamikaze Ozzie; we gone. Sayonara.
[Chorus]
Yo ho ho, and a thousand trucks
Gonna take a bath with a Lubba Duck
Yo ho ho, and a rots a' ruck
'Round the world with a Lubba Ducky!
[Obviously, poritical collectness hadn't yet permeated the U. S. of A. :)]
[On the CB.]
Just another Texas bus stop
Texas never seems to end
On my seventh cup a' coffee
Waitress, hit me once again
Gotta date in Colorado
With the woman in my life
I've seen enough of fairgrounds
An' singin' in the lights
'Cause the only light I wanna see
Is the light that's in the eyes
Of the woman waitin' up for me again
Yeah, the only light I wanna see
Is a candle in the winda
An' the open door that she'll be standin' in
Driver says, "It's time, folks"
So we straggle back on board
Just me, a nun, two cowboys
An' a guy in back that snored
Been twenty-seven hours
Full a' anything but fun
An' over my right shoulder
There's an early-mornin' sun
But the only light I wanna see
Is the light that's in the eyes
Of a woman waitin' up for me again
Yeah, the only light I wanna see
Is a candle in the winda
An' the open door that she'll be standin' in
Goin' on forty hours
An' I've been too long alone
But it's only just a walk, now
Up the hill and then I'm home
I've seen too many bus stops
An' I've sung my share a' songs
But the spotlight only matters
When it's shinin' in my home
'Cause the only light I wanna see
Is a light that's in the eyes
Of a woman waitin' up for me again
Yeah, the only light I wanna see
Is a candle in the winda
An' the open door that she'll be standin' in
[Fade out]
Yeah, the only light I wanna see
Is the light that's in the eyes
Of a woman waitin' up for me again
Yeah, the only light I wanna see
Is a candle in the winda
An' the open door that she'll be standin' in
'Cause the only light I wanna see
Is the light that's in the eyes
Of the woman waitin' up for me again
We'd worked ourselves senseless
Been bustin' down fences
Drivin' dry cattle, no water in sight
As we sat 'round the fire
And cursed the barbed wire
A stranger broke into our light
Not knowin' no better
Some fool went for leather
But a whispered "I wouldn't"
Put an end to the fight
Then he said, "I'm for hire.
"You need a rider.
"And I don't mind ridin' at night."
[Chorus]
Go light on the Night Hawk
He don't smile, he don't talk
To strangers, and seldom to friends
And you'll do well to listen
When he asks you to leave him alone
He won't ask you again
Though the man is a myst'ry
The story is hist'ry
How a range fire came
Like a thief in the night
Took his young wife and babies
His would-bes and maybes
And burned out the love in his life
[Chorus]
Go light on the Night Hawk
He don't smile, he don't talk
To strangers, and seldom to friends
And you'll do well to listen
When he asks you to leave him alone
(Chip Davis, Bill Fries)
Now how many peppers did Peter Piper pick ta get himself a peck a' pickled peppers? But more importantly, how many pickles do you get in a peck, when you can't find no peppers ta pick? And furthermore, who wants a pickle that's made from a pepper by a guy named Peter Piper? And in conclusion, how many pipers do you know that pick pickles? And how many Peters are pickled?
[The chorus, and how to sing it. Pay attention, 'cause there might be a quiz. C.W. and the backup singers sing line 1, then C.W. alone sings lines 2 and 3, then the backup singers alone sing lines 4 and 5.]
Well, I don't know, and I don't care
Go away an' leave me alone
I don't know, and I don't care
He don't know, and he don't care
About nothin'
Now how many ducks could a duck plucker pluck, if'n the duck plucker plucked until dark? And more importantly, how many plucks would it take on a duck, 'til the plucker got duck plucker's arm? And furthermore, if the duck plucker died whilst pluckin' the duck, would you call it the fault of the duck? Or think now, would you say that the plucker had run out of ducks? And they called it ";duck plucker's luck";?
[Chorus. See the instructions, above.]
Well, I don't know, and I don't care
Go away an' leave me alone
I don't know, and I don't care
He don't know, and he don't care
About nothin'
Now how much wood could a woodpecker peck, whilst Peter was a-pickin' them peppers? And what if the pluckor became the pluckee, and the woodpecker's name was Chuck?
[Chorus. Yeah, one more time.]
Well, I don't know, and I don't care
Go away an' leave me alone
I don't know, and I just don't care
He don't know, and he don't care
About nothin'
[C.W.] Boys got any idea how we gonna get outta this?
[Backup singers] We don't know.
[C.W.] Don't know, huh?
[Backup singers] We don't care.
[C.W.] Yeah, I know you don't care, neither.
[The music just sorta peters out.]
[C.W.] That's good.
Me an' Earl was haulin' chickens on a flatbed out of Wiggins, and we'd spent all night on the uphill side of thirty-seven miles of hell called Wolf Creek Pass. Which is up on the Great Divide?
We was settin' there suckin' toothpicks, drinkin' Nehi and onion soup mix, and I said, "Earl, let's mail a card to Mother then send them chickens on down the other side. Yeah, let's give 'em a ride."
[Chorus]
Wolf Creek Pass, way up on the Great Divide
Truckin' on down the other side
Well, Earl put down his bottle, mashed his foot down on the throttle, and then a couple'a boobs with a thousand cubes in a nineteen-forty-eight Peterbilt screamed to life. We woke up the chickens.
Well, we roared up offa that shoulder sprayin' pine cones, rocks, and boulders, and put four hundred head of them Rhode Island reds and a couple a' burnt-out roosters on the line. Look out below; 'cause here we go!
Well, we commenced to truckin' and them hens commenced to cluckin' and then Earl took out a match and scratched his pants and lit up the unused half of a dollar cigar and took a puff. Says "My, ain't this purdy up here."
I says, "Earl, this hill can spill us. You better slow down or you gonna kill us. Just make one mistake and it's the Pearly Gates for them eight-five crates a' USDA-approved cluckers. You wanna hit second?"
[Chorus]
Wolf Creek Pass, way up on the Great Divide
Truckin' on down the other side
Well, Earl grabbed on the shifter and he stabbed her into fifth gear and then the chromium-plated, fully-illuminated genuine accessory shift knob come right off in his hand. I says, "You wanna screw that thing back on, Earl?"
He was tryin' to thread it on there when the fire fell off a' his cigar and dropped on down, sorta rolled around, and then lit in the cuff of Earl's pants and burned a hole in his sock. Yeah, sorta set him right on fire.
I looked on outta the window and I started countin' phone poles, goin' by at the rate of four to the seventh power. Well I put two and two together, and added twelve and carried five; come up with twenty-two thousand telephone poles an hour.
I looked at Earl and his eyes was wide, his lip was curled, and his leg was fried. And his hand was froze to the wheel like a tongue to a sled in the middle of a blizzard. I says, "Earl, I'm not the type to complain; but the time has come for me to explain that if you don't apply some brake real soon, they're gonna have to pick us up with a stick and a spoon."
Well, Earl rared back, and cocked his leg, stepped as down as hard as he could on the brake, and the pedal went clear to the floor and stayed there, right there on the floor. He said it was sorta like steppin' on a plum.
Well, from there on down it just wasn't real purdy: it was hairpin county and switchback city. One of 'em looked like a can full'a worms; another one looked like malaria germs. Right in the middle of the whole damn show was a real nice tunnel, now wouldn't you know?
Sign says clearance to the twelve-foot line, but the chickens was stacked to thirteen-nine. Well we shot that tunnel at a hundred-and-ten, like gas through a funnel and eggs through a hen, and we took that top row of chickens off slicker than scum off a Lousiana swamp. Went down and around and around and down 'til we run outta ground at the edge of town. Bashed into the side of the feed store... in downtown Pagosa Springs.
[Chorus]
Wolf Creek Pass, way up on the Great Divide
Truckin' on down the other side
Wolf Creek Pass, way up on the Great Divide
(Bill Fries, Chip Davis)
Well, Interstate 80, we was cuttin' the fog
Just me an' old Sloan (Old Sloan's my dog)
We had an eighteen-wheeler with ten on the floor and stereo layin' a strip
Now we spied a sign, says ";Eat Gas Now";
We decided to whip in and pick up some chow
At the Old Home Filler-Up An' Keep On A-Truckin' Cafe
[Chorus]
Oh, the Old Home Filler-Up An' Keep On A-Truckin'
Oh, the Old Home Filler-Up An' Keep On A-Truckin' (a-lookin' for Mavis)
Oh, the Old Home Filler-Up An' Keep On A-Truckin' Cafe
Now we've been every place between here and South Sioux
And we've seen us a truck-stop waitress or two
But this gal's built like a burlap bag full of bobcats:
She's got it to-gether
Well, she filled my tank; I said ";Thank you, honey.";
Her name was Mavis, I gave her the money
Old Sloan just set there, watchin' and waggin' and wishin'.
I says, ";You wait in the truck, boy.";
Then I went inside. She says, ";What'll it be?";
I says ";A cup of your best and a number three.";
She come back with an order to go and a quart of hot C and a bone for Sloan.
I said, ";Much obliged";; old Sloan gave a bark
I left her a buck and he left his heart
At the Old Home Filler-Up An' Keep On A-Truckin' Cafe
[Chorus]
Oh, the Old Home Filler-Up An' Keep On A-Truckin'
Oh, the Old Home Filler-Up An' Keep On A-Truckin'
Oh, the Old Home Filler-Up An' Keep On A-Truckin' Cafe
Well, Saturday night we was truckin' along
Yeah, me and old Sloan was a-gettin' it on
I said, ";Sloan, I've been thinkin' on a-gettin' up my courage, and tonight's the night";
Well, I popped the clutch, gave the tranny a spin
Took the Beebeetown ramp and slid on in
To the Old Home Filler-Up An' Keep On A-Truckin' Cafe
[Chorus]
Oh, the Old Home Filler-Up An' Keep On A-Truckin'
Oh, the Old Home Filler-Up An' Keep On A-Truckin' (it never closes)
Oh, the Old Home Filler-Up An' Keep On A-Truckin' Cafe
Well, I got me a stool, took a load off my shoes,
Made Mavis an offer that she couldn't refuse
I says, ";How'd ya like to go for a ride with me and old Sloan? I just had my truck warshed.";
She allowed as how it sounded like a whole lot of fun
But we was gonna have ta wait until the dishes was done
And was it all right with me if she brought along her mother as a chaperone?
I said, ";Why not?";
Well, we geared that tranny into super-low
And the four of us went to see a picture show
Yeah, I took 'em to the drive-in the-a-ter over by Pisgah, to see True Grit
Saw the late, late show; old Sloan hit the sack
And then along about two o'clock I hauled 'em all back
To the Old Home Filler-Up An' Keep On A-Truckin' Cafe
[Chorus]
Oh, the Old Home Filler-Up An' Keep On A-Truckin'
Oh, the Old Home Filler-Up An' Keep On A-Truckin'
Oh, the Old Home Filler-Up An' Keep On A-Truckin' Cafe (eight stools and a promise)
Oh, the Old Home Filler-Up An' Keep On A-Truckin'
Oh, the Old Home Filler-Up An' Keep On A-Truckin'
Oh, the Old Home Filler-Up An' Keep On A-Truckin' Cafe (they got a real nice place there)
Well, I was born in a town called Audubon
Southwest Iowa, right where it oughta been
Twenty-three houses, fourteen saloons,
And a feed mill in nineteen-thirty.
Had a neon sign, said "Squealer Feeds"
And the bus came through when they felt the need
And they stopped at a place there in town called The Old Home Cafe
Now my daddy was a music lovin' man
He stood six-foot-seven, had big ol' hands
He'd lost two fingers in a chainsaw but he could still play the violin
And Mom played piana, just the keys in the middle
And Dad played a storm on his three-fingered fiddle
'Cause that's all there was to do back there folks, except ta go downtown and watch haircuts
So I was raised on Dust Bowl tunes, you see
Had a six-tube radio an' no TV
It was so dog-goned hot I had to wet the bed in the summer just to keep cool.
Yeah, many's a night I'd lay awake
A-waitin' for a distant station break
Just a-settin' and a-wettin' an' a-lettin' that radio fry.
Well, I listened to Nashville and Tulsa and Dallas
And Oklahoma City gave my ear a callus
And I'll never forget them announcers at three A.M.
They'd come on an' say "Friends, there's many a soul who needs us
"So send them letters an' cards ta Jesus
"That's J-E-S-U-S friends, in care a' Del Rio, Texas."
But the place I remember, on the edge a' town
Was the place where you really got the hard-core sound
Yeah, a place where the truckers used ta stop on their way to Dees Moins
There was signs all over them windowsills
Like "If the Devil don't get ya, then Roosevelt will"
And "The bank don't sell no beer, and we don't cash no checks."
Now them truckers never talked about nothin' but haulin'
And the four-letter words was really appallin'
They thought them home-town gals was nothin' but toys for their amusement.
Rode Chevys and Macks and big ol' stacks
They's always complainin' 'bout their livers an' backs
But they was fast-livin', strung-out, truck-drivin' son of a guns
Now the gal waitin' tables was really classy
Had a rebuilt motor on a fairly new chassis
And she knew how to handle them truckers; name was Mavis Davis
Yeah, she'd pour 'em a coffee, then she'd bat her eyes
Then she'd listen to 'em tell 'er some big fat lies
Then she'd ask 'em how the wife and kids was, back there in Joplin?
Now Mavis had all of her ducks in a row
Weighed ninety-eight pounds; put on quite a show
Remind ya of a couple a' Cub Scouts tryin' ta set up a Sears, Roebuck pup tent
There's no proposition that she couldn't handle
Next ta her, nothin' could hold a candle
Not a hell of a lot upstairs, but from there on down, Disneyland!
Now the truckers, on the other hand, was really crass
They remind ya of fingernails a-scratchin' on glass
A-stompin' on in, leavin' tracks all over the Montgomery Ward linoleum
Yeah, they'd pound them counters and kick them stools
They's always pickin' fights with the local fools
But one look at Mavis, and they'd turn into a bunch a' tomcats
Well, I'll never forget them days gone by
I's just a kid, 'bout four foot high
But I never forgot that lesson an' pickin' and singin', the country way
Yeah, them walkin', talkin' truck stop blues
Came back ta life in seventy-two
As "The Old Home Filler-up An' Keep On A-Truckin' Cafe"
Oh, the Old Home Filler-up An' Keep On A-Truckin'
Oh, the Old Home Filler-up An' Keep On A-Truckin'
Oh, the Old Home Filler-up An' Keep On A-Truckin' Cafe
Oh, the Old Home Filler-up An' Keep On A-Truckin'
Oh, the Old Home Filler-up An' Keep On A-Truckin'
Now, I'll tell ya a tale that'll bust yer heart
That only a few people knew, ta start
It all took place when our concert tour was booked at the SeaTac Hilton?
I'll guarantee ev'ry word's the Gospel truth
Got witnesses ta prove it, too,
'Cause we all toured with a fella by the name a' Milton
Now Milton was o-fficial tour director,
Electrical piano-playin' plug connector
An' the slave-drivin'-est travel conductor
That we ever seen in our lives
He'd say "Whaddya mean, ya need more rest?
"The world don't care whether ya look yer best!
"Simply show up promptly at six A.M. with your instruments ...and your wives!"
[Choir; in sorta of "Bringing In The Sheaves" way]
Shall we gather at the airport?
He'd always arrive in the nick a' time
A good five minutes ahead a' flight time
A-lookin' like he'd been drug through a needle's eye
He'd stand there, stoned and about ta choke
On his Egg McMuffin an' his giant Coke
An' then he'd throw all the tickets on the counter and say
"Check the bags and let's fly!"
"Well, whaddya mean, this is too much weight?
"We only got forty-six pieces a' freight!
"And if it don't go, who's gonna explain it to our fan club in Tacoma?"
We'd all get embarassed an' head for the plane
While Milton stood there, bein' profane
But somehow he always managed ta get on board ...in sort of a coma
[Choir]
When the drinks were served up yonder...
Well, we deplaned at th' other end
All the trouble seemed to commence again
Though Milton had ordered three station wagons, a pickup truck and a limo
And though he'd phoned ahead to that Number Two
Cussin' an' fussin' an' turnin' blue
We'd always end up with two Datsoons and a Pinto
Now Milton took all a' that stuff in stride
Laid on the floor, an' kicked an' cried
But we always looked up to him for hope and salvation
But we'd sink to the bottom a' trav'lers hell
When he'd check us in a remote motel
And he'd grab the clerk by his shirt an' tie an' say
"Whaddya mean, ¿no reservaci¨®nes?"
[Choir]
Milton's getting bolder...
He'd shut himself in room one-oh-four
Let nobody in 'til he swept the floor
Adjusted the lampshade, aligned the TV, fixed the faucet, called the promoter
"Well, whaddya mean we're the warmup show?
"You're puttin' me on! We're stars, ya know!
"And this ain't the way we was treated last summer at Six Flags Over Dakota!
"Now we gotta have a hunnert percent top billing,
"Two-thirds in advance, a' course, you silly!
"I'm sure we prefer a chauffered limosine and two air-conditioned dressing rooms, please.
"I'm what? Well, so's your wife! She's not? Well, to each his own.
"Beg pardon, stick it in my what? Well, really, Merle who?"
[Choir]
William Morris, keep us working...
Now, Milton was a real good friend a' mine
An' we'd stuck together on down that line
But there was one or two points over which we just had to dee-bate
Like takin'-your-clothes-off-an'-hangin'-from-a-cross-in-front-a'-the-Tri-County-Fairgrounds
Is not necessarily an assurance that the crowd ain't gonna start throwin' tomatas
An' when ya arrive at four for a five o'clock show
An' the stage ain't built an' there's no electricity
About all ya could do is sit on yer butt an' cut bait
However, you give ol' Milton four strong bodies, a nine-foot grand, a beer and a cigarette
An' you just knew that show was gonna be ...outta state
[Choir]
Bringing in the bread
Bringing in the bread...
Now one night up there in Washington
We didn't get paid for a show we'd done
An' poor ol' Milton couldn't live with that; his brain just shorted out.
Well, he locked himself in the bathroom
An' then when he didn't come out for an hour an' a half
We figgered that somethin' was wrong, but we had to remove all doubt
We stood transfixed in shock and horror
When we busted down that there bathroom door
And I hope I never see a sight like that again; no, I don't
There was nothin' to do but close our eyes, an' bow our heads, an' vocalize
With a silent five-part acapella hymn, for him
[Choir]
What a friend we had in Milton...
Now we're gettin' ready, come next December
To put another concert tour together
And I'm sad to say ol' Milton ain't a-gonna be with us
No, it ain't gonna be exactly the same
When they introduce us without his name
So Milton, wherever you are, we hope you miss us!
See, Milton has moved on down the road
Over the rainbow, lookin' for gold
Yeah, he's up there where the stage lights is always on
But we can't forget that curly hair
When last we saw him a-settin' there
[Instrumental]
(Goebel Reeves)
Go to sleep, you weary hobo
Let the towns drift slowly by
Can't you hear the steel rail hummin'?
That's a hobo's lullaby
Do not think about tomorrow
Let tomorrow come and go
Tonight you're in a nice warm boxcar
Safe from the all the wind and snow
I know your clothes are torn and ragged
And your hair is turnin' gray
Lift your head and smile at trouble
Write me a song about singin'
Write me a song about free
Do a little tune about lovin' and a-livin'
Do it just for me
[Chorus]
But please don't make it a sad song
I don't wanna sing the blues
For god's sakes make it a glad song
I got no time to lose
Now, write me a song about rivers
Write me a song about trees
Do a little tune about climbin' the mountain
Play it in the key of me
[Chorus]
But please don't make it a sad song
I don't wanna sing the blues
For god's sakes make it a glad song
I got no time to lose
Lay a little get-down rhythm
Sprinkle in a dash a' soul
Mix it with a little bit a' breakdown country
Plus a lot a' Rock an' roll
[Chorus]
But please don't make it a sad song
I don't wanna sing the blues
For god's sakes make it a glad song
I got no time to lose
Well, write me a song about summer
Write me a song about sun
Do a little tune about good times
Do it just for fun
[Chorus]
But please don't make it a sad song
I don't wanna sing the blues
For god's sakes make it a glad song
Come along and sing
A song you knew before
Come along and sing
Once more
Come along and live
A life you knew before
Come along and live
Once more
[C.W. and backup singers]
Wake with me and feel the misty blue dawn
Come hear the wild bird sing her mornin' song
See the sun that only wilderness sees
Then walk with me and let your heart run free
Come on along and chase the wind once more
Come on along and try one more time
Come on along and find the trail once more
Come on along and live again
[C.W. and backup singers]
Come with me and see the ridge run wild
Come hear the canyon call her wanderin' child
Breathe the air that only wilderness breathes
Then walk with me and let your heart run free
[Musical interlude. Slow banjo pickin' and violins.]
Come on along and climb the mountain once more
Come on along and try one more time
Come on along and cross the river with me
Come on along and live again
[C.W. and backup singers]
Come with me and hear the night bird cry
And see the starlight fill the wonderous sky
Feel the joy that only wilderness feels
Come on along along and we'll be free
Fly with me and find the end of time
Run with me and feel the wilderness high
Come on along and live forever with me
[Chorus]
(Gotta keep these wheels)
Wheels of fortune rollin'
It don't matter where we're goin'
East or west or south to Tennessee
(Gotta keep these wheels)
Wheels of fortune movin'
Keep on truckin', keep on movin'
Gotta stay ahead of the finance company
Well, I was down-and-out until this friend a' mine
He said, "I got somethin' here, guaranteed ta change yer luck.
"With just a few thousand dollars you can get on time,
"I can put you in a brand-new diesel truck."
He says, "You can make a fortune in a year or two
"It's easy; all ya haveta do is drive."
Well, I signed my name and I took the keys and then I knew:
I was gonna be the richest man alive!
[Chorus]
(Gotta keep these wheels)
Wheels of fortune rollin'
It don't matter where we're goin'
East or west or south to Tennessee
(Gotta keep these wheels)
Wheels of fortune movin'
Keep on truckin', keep on movin'
Gotta stay ahead of the finance company
Now, I ain't seen my lady in a month or two
This old rig may cost me my family
'Cause when I truck on home, you know just what they do?
They treat me just like I was company
Now I'm lost and lonely on this Interstate
My CB's broke and I ain't got a dime
I got a payment due and the finance comp'ny just won't wait
I gotta keep this rig a-movin' all the time
[Chorus]
(Gotta keep these wheels)
Wheels of fortune rollin'
It don't matter where we're goin'
East or west or south to Tennessee
(Gotta keep these wheels)
Wheels of fortune movin'
Keep on truckin', keep on movin'
Gotta stay ahead of the finance company
Well, it's only gonna be about an hour, friend
'Til they dam your favorite river
So you can water-ski just one more reservior
And them supersonic ships are gonna take you
'Cross a sea of pavement
To one more faceless brickyard on the shore
Yeah, it's only gonna be about an hour or so
'Til they rip off all your mountains, boy
And that one last tired old eagle bites the sand
And all of that high-and-mighty scenery's
Gonna be leveled to the ground, boy
By a bunch a' them mindless strip mines on the land
[Chorus]
So listen well, my brothers
When you hear the night wind sigh
And you see the wild goose flying
Through the gray, polluted sky
There won't be no country music
There won't be no rock 'n' roll
'Cause when they take away our country
They'll take away our soul
Well, it's only gonna take about a minute or so
'Til the junkyards fell the prairies, boy
And them smokin' yellow grass fires start to burn
And the warnings on them beer cans
Gonna be buried in them landfills
No deposit, no sad songs, and no returns
Yeah, it's only gonna take about a minute or so
'Til the factories blot the sun out
You gonna have to turn your lights on just to see
And them lights are gonna be neon, sayin'
"Fly Our Jets To Paradise"
And the whole damn world is gonna be made of styrene
[Chorus]
So listen well, my brothers
When you hear the night wind sigh
And you see the wild goose flying
Through the gray, polluted sky
There won't be no country music
There won't be no rock 'n' roll
'Cause when they take away our country
They'll take away our soul
Yeah, it's only gonna be about a second, boy
'Til they take away all'a this country
And they'll tell you not to listen to this here song
And that far-off sound of freedom's
Gonna be an echo from the past
And the final tune is gonna be sad and long
And it's only gonna be about an eye-blink, boy
'Til they pull out the wool to blind us
So we just can't read all the messages on the wall
But the only words that matter
Oughta be scribbled all over them billboards
In big old black and bloody letters, ten feet tall
[Chorus]
THERE WON'T BE NO COUNTRY MUSIC
THERE WON'T BE NO ROCK 'N' ROLL
'CAUSE WHEN THEY TAKE AWAY OUR COUNTRY
THEY'LL TAKE AWAY OUR SOUL
There won't be no country music
There won't be no rock 'n' roll
'Cause when they take away our country
They'll take away our soul
There won't be no country music
There won't be no rock 'n' roll
'Cause when they take away our country
They'll take away our soul
There won't be no country music
There won't be no rock 'n' roll
'Cause when they take away our country
They'll take away our soul
'Cause when they take away our country
One green April mornin', when I was a young boy
I lay by the window, a-watchin' the rain
And I wondered if ever the sun would come shinin'
So I could go somewhere to play
Then down from the sky flew a little brown sparrow
And he lit on the branch of an old willow tree
And he sit there, watchin', as I lay wond'rin'
Just the little brown sparrow and me
On a green April mornin', when I was a young boy
And little brown sparrows were free
Then he looked in my window and he spied his reflection
There was the willow, there was the sky
And he wondered if ever the sun would come shinin'
And which was the way for the sparrow to fly
Well, he spread out his wings and he flew to the window
Fast as the wind, sure as could be
But the sky in the window was only a wishin'
For the little brown sparrow and me
On a green April mornin', when I was a young boy
And little brown sparrows were free
So there by the window, the sparrow had fallen
He died on the ground in the cold April rain
And I wondered if ever the sun would come shinin'
And someone could only explain
Then I laid there and saw the wind blow through the willow
And cover him over with yesterday's leaves
And there in the rain, I cried for a sparrow
For a little brown sparrow and me
On a green April mornin', when I was a young boy
And little brown sparrows were free
On a green April mornin', when life was a window
The cowboy will never get married to you, girl
It's the fightin' that he just can't bear
But when there's women and whisky and beer-drinkin' brawls
The cowboy will always be there
He'll sing you sad songs, girl, 'cause that's all he knows
And soon you'll be listenin' to
Solutions to problems you don't even have
As he unloads his wisdoms on you
He'll have you believin' he's one-of-a-kind
And that his kind knows what livin's for
He's a dreamer by nature, a liar, and soon
He'll have you believin' he's more
He'll say he's a loner, to cover the truth
Some sympathy might see him through
Just a hand on his shoulder and a bottle of that booze
Then all he'll be needin' is you
He'll drink all your whisky, to clear out his head
Of the drinkin' he's already known
And with a little persuasion, he'll lie in your bed
And when you wake up, you're alone
Now you're feelin' sorry, and the cowboy is gone
He just a-has ta be a-movin' along
But honey when you get lonesome, turn your radio on
Me an' Earl was workin' the superslab outside a' that Ogallala?
When outta town come a local clown in a '65 Impala
Had a 'coon tail flyin' off a' his whip antenna
We was haulin' a load a' them go-go girls
Truckin' 'em over to O-town
Old boy got on his microphone
Says "How's about a little showdown?"
Well, hot damn, I'm a gamblin' man,
So ev'rybody get yer bets down
'Cause this old truck gonna make us a buck
Chicken in the bread pan, pickin' out vittles
Swing them heifers and away we go
Wake up, Earl, we gots to race that pile a' junk over ta North Platte city
Well, one-eyed bears and deuces wild
We got the back door pad-locked
He says, "Bet five bucks and a side a' beef,
"I can beat them cows ta Flat Rock."
You hear that, Earl? He says he's gonna whip Ol' Bessie here!
I says, "Call your five and raise ya ten
"Jes' kiss that Chevy goodby, boy
"'Cause when Bessie hits that floatin' gear
"You gonna be eatin' Hereford pie. Yeah."
Well, hot damn, I'm a gamblin' man,
So ev'rybody get yer bets down
'Cause this old truck gonna make us a buck
She gonna round them curves at thirty gees
A trunk full a' cows an' a hood full a' bees
Move it up a notch, Earl.
Yeah, that's it. That's floatin' gear! C'mon Bessie!
Well, tuck it on in and head it for the barn
If we don't win, we gonna sell the farm
If this old wreck don't break my neck,
We gonna take them cows to a discatheque
I says, "Come on, Earl, let's give it a whirl.
"That Chevy is a-pickin' up speed."
Well, we crossed the Platte at a hundred flat
Old Bessie was a-blowin' the weeds
We definitely was in that Monfort lane.
Yeah, we won the race with a bovine ace
When the Chevy made a fatal pass
Yeah, he got too close
Got a terminal dose a' that good ol' Hereford gas.
Phew!
Hot damn, I'm a gamblin' man,
So ev'rybody get yer bets down
'Cause this old truck's gonna make us a buck
She's rollin' the boulevard shakedown
Hot damn, I'm a truckin' man
And I sorta like ta put my foot down
This old rig gonna blow your wig
Got go-go girls and a Peterbilt cab
Well, I found him on the corner of Seventh and Main
In the Iowa township of Sloan (Township of Sloan...)
He's tired, and he's hungry, he's old, and he's grungy
And parked in a no-parkin' zone
Well I bent down an' says "How ya doin', old fella?"
He tried to get up on his own (On his own...)
When I gave him a piece a' my ham salad sandwich
He reached up an' licked on my nose
[Chorus]
He gave him a piece of his ham salad sandwich
And reached up and licked on his nose
Old Sloan...
Well, I opened the door of my old beat-up semi
Threw an old dirty shirt on the floor (On the floor...)
He hopped in an' laid hisself down by the gearshift
Curled up and started to snore
For years we went truckin' them highways together
On the byways of life we did roam (They did roam...)
With his paws on the dashboard an' his head out the winda
An' his ears in the breeze, gently blowin'
[Chorus]
With his paws on the dashboard, his head out the winder
And his ears in the breeze gently blowin'
Old Sloan...
When one mornin' last May, four miles north a' Mondamin
I stopped to use a pay telephone (Pay telephone...)
Old Sloan made a fireplug, while I made a phone call
An' when I come back, he was gone
Well I searched forty miles of that Interstate highway
And the byways that we used to roam (Used to roam...)
From Ricketts to Red Line, Magnolia to Woodbine
But I just couldn't find poor ol' Sloan
[Chorus]
From Fiscus to Jacksonville, Quick to Correctionville
Looked like the end for old Sloan
Poor ol' fella. He didn't have no license, nor shots, nor nothin'.
I thought he's a goner.
When on a cold winter day on the ninth of November
I's drivin' my rig all alone (All alone...)
When my eye caught a blur in my left rear-view mirror
An' my ears heard the sound of old Sloan
He's runnin' as fast as his old legs could run 'im
An' cryin' for me to slow down (To slow down...)
His tail was a-waggin', his tongue was a-draggin'
An' I opened the door for old Sloan
[Chorus]
His tail was a-waggin', his tongue was a-draggin'
And he opened the door for old Sloan
Old Sloan...
Well I gave him a hug as he licked me all over
An' I threw him his old dirty bone (Old dirty bone...)
Then in through the winda jumped a poodle from Pisgah
An' she set on down beside Sloan
[Chorus]
Then in through the winder come a poodle from Pisgah
And set herself down beside Sloan.
Old Sloan...
So that's where ya been, boy.
Hey! She's kinda purty.
Did you see me at Westport Landing
On the wide Missouri shore?
Did you hear the west wind calling
In the spring of forty-four?
[Chorus]
If the mud don't stay and the cattle don't stray
We can make Fort Kearny by the middle of May
If the mud don't stay and the cattle don't stray
We can make Fort Kearny by the middle of May
Did you see me at old Fort Kearny?
Did you hear my trumpets blow?
Did you write your name in stone, boys
On the great Platte River road?
[Chorus]
If the wolf don't howl in the dark of the moon
We can make Scotts Bluff by the middle of June
If the wolf don't howl in the dark of the moon
We can make Scotts Bluff by the middle of June
Did you see that endless prairie
Blowin' clean and pure and free?
Did you hear that rollin' thunder
On the wild Nebraska sea?
Did you climb the shining mountains?
Did you cross that Great Divide?
Did you pray to God Almighty
To let you down the other side?
[Chorus, but only by C.W.]
Roll wagons, rollin' rollin'
Roll wagons, rollin' home
Roll wagons, rollin' rollin'
Roll wagons, rollin' home
Did you see me out on the desert?
Did you see my oxen die?
Did you find a drop of water?
Did you hear my children cry?
[Chorus]
If the sun don't shine and the river don't rise
We can make South Pass by the fourth of July
If the sun don't shine and the river don't rise
We can make South Pass by the fourth of July
Did you see the high Sierra
Far beyond the burning sand?
Did you find that golden valley?
Did you reach the Promised Land?
[Chorus]
If the snow don't fly and the river don't dry
We can make that valley before we die
If the snow don't fly and the river don't dry
Well, the Wall Street Journal and The New York Times
Carried the story in BIG HEADLINES
How Kansas City George was robbed that day
When Tar Baby Billy took his bat away
It was two men out in the top a' the ninth
It was one a' them classic settin's
The Goose on the mound in that Big Apple town
And George is up there battin'
As the crowd chants "Goose!"
He turns it loose
With fire and smoke and ash
George sends it deep
In the right field seats
Another timely crash
As he rounded third and he headed on home
Was a gleam in Billy's eye
Dick wondered "What's he up to now?
"I know this guy's real sly."
Billy grabbed the bat as both teams sat
In awe upon the benches
Says, "There ya are! That there's pine tar!
"An' it's a whole lot more'n eighteen inches!"
[Chorus]
Tar Baby Billy can you hear our song?
Did you cry about the game last night?
Cry Baby Billy tell us all what's wrong?
All you wanna do is fight
You like a child, kickin' dirt on the umpire's shoes
That's the way you've always been
So now we're gonna take that pine tar rag
And rub it in your face again
So Tim thought it through, and he asked the crew
Then with bat in hand, he shouted
"You're out! The home run just don't count!
"I'm gonna have ta disallow it!"
Well, the sky was clear and the day was hot
But George was even hotter
'Till Lee got wise, and said "Hey, you guys!
"This claim ain't a-gonna hold water."
[Chorus]
Tar Baby Billy can you hear our song?
Did you cry about the game last night?
Cry Baby Billy tell us all what's wrong?
All you wanna do is fight
You like a child, kickin' dirt on the umpire's shoes
That's the way you've always been
So now we're gonna take that pine tar rag
And rub it in your face again
Well, the fans was riled and suits was filed
To create a long dee-lay
Then Billy's team, apparently,
Was just afraid to play
Now the stage was set and Billy bet
That he had the upper hand
But Billy was fooled when the big court ruled
"You gonna play this game, as planned!"
[Chorus]
Well, Tar Baby Billy can you hear our song?
Did you cry about the game last night?
Cry Baby Billy tell us all what's wrong?
All you wanna do is fight
You like a child, kickin' dirt on the umpire's shoes
That's the way you've always been
So now we're gonna take that pine tar rag
And rub it in your face again
With affidavits (notarized)
That George had touched 'em all
The umpire said, "We a step ahead.
"Gonna put an end to Billy Ball."
"We done heard the call for Billy Ball
"We ain't never gonna hear it again
"Just like the cheer for Billy's Beer
"When the Democrats was in."
Now the game they played that summer day
Won't be famous for the scores
But the incidents that have happened since
Will be remembered as TAR WARS
[Chorus]
Tar Baby Billy can you hear our song?
Did you cry about the game last night?
Cry Baby Billy tell us all what's wrong?
All you wanna do is fight
You like a child, kickin' dirt on the umpire's shoes
That's the way you've always been
So now we're gonna take that pine tar rag
Well, Interstate 80, we was cuttin' the fog
Just me an' old Sloan (Old Sloan's my dog)
We had an eighteen-wheeler with ten on the floor and stereo layin' a strip
Now we spied a sign, says "Eat Gas Now"
We decided to whip in and pick up some chow
At the Old Home Filler-Up An' Keep On A-Truckin' Cafe
[Chorus]
Oh, the Old Home Filler-Up An' Keep On A-Truckin'
Oh, the Old Home Filler-Up An' Keep On A-Truckin' (a-lookin' for Mavis)
Oh, the Old Home Filler-Up An' Keep On A-Truckin' Cafe
Now we've been every place between here and South Sioux
And we've seen us a truck-stop waitress or two
But this gal's built like a burlap bag full of bobcats:
She's got it to-gether
Well, she filled my tank; I said "Thank you, honey."
Her name was Mavis, I gave her the money
Old Sloan just set there, watchin' and waggin' and wishin'.
I says, "You wait in the truck, boy."
Then I went inside. She says, "What'll it be?"
I says "A cup of your best and a number three."
She come back with an order to go and a quart of hot C and a bone for Sloan.
I said, "Much obliged"; old Sloan gave a bark
I left her a buck and he left his heart
At the Old Home Filler-Up An' Keep On A-Truckin' Cafe
[Chorus]
Oh, the Old Home Filler-Up An' Keep On A-Truckin'
Oh, the Old Home Filler-Up An' Keep On A-Truckin'
Oh, the Old Home Filler-Up An' Keep On A-Truckin' Cafe
Well, Saturday night we was truckin' along
Yeah, me and old Sloan was a-gettin' it on
I said, "Sloan, I've been thinkin' on a-gettin' up my courage, and tonight's the night"
Well, I popped the clutch, gave the tranny a spin
Took the Beebeetown ramp and slid on in
To the Old Home Filler-Up An' Keep On A-Truckin' Cafe
[Chorus]
Oh, the Old Home Filler-Up An' Keep On A-Truckin'
Oh, the Old Home Filler-Up An' Keep On A-Truckin' (it never closes)
Oh, the Old Home Filler-Up An' Keep On A-Truckin' Cafe
Well, I got me a stool, took a load off my shoes,
Made Mavis an offer that she couldn't refuse
I says, "How'd ya like to go for a ride with me and old Sloan? I just had my truck warshed."
She allowed as how it sounded like a whole lot of fun
But we was gonna have ta wait until the dishes was done
And was it all right with me if she brought along her mother as a chaperone?
I said, "Why not?"
Well, we geared that tranny into super-low
And the four of us went to see a picture show
Yeah, I took 'em to the drive-in the-a-ter over by Pisgah, to see True Grit
Saw the late, late show; old Sloan hit the sack
And then along about two o'clock I hauled 'em all back
To the Old Home Filler-Up An' Keep On A-Truckin' Cafe
[Chorus]
Oh, the Old Home Filler-Up An' Keep On A-Truckin'
Oh, the Old Home Filler-Up An' Keep On A-Truckin'
Oh, the Old Home Filler-Up An' Keep On A-Truckin' Cafe (eight stools and a promise)
Oh, the Old Home Filler-Up An' Keep On A-Truckin'
Oh, the Old Home Filler-Up An' Keep On A-Truckin'
One time when I's growin' up -- it was when I's a kid -- there was nothin' to do at home so I called up on a friend an' said "Let's pack us a box lunch an' go down to the Nishnabotna an' go swimmin'. An' maybe look for some toads."
My friend said he thought that's a good idea 'cause he didn't have nothin' to do either an' he was outta toads.
So we packed up our box lunches an' we started out a-walkin', an' we come to a big iron bridge which was five miles from town where we observed a big sign which says "West Nishnabotna". I says "This here's the place, an', an' now if we could just find some toads an' go for a good swim, we could have fun all day doin' nothin', just loafin' around in the creek."
We jumped into that dirty water an' I thought we might be able to swim in it, but we quickly discovered that we could not even begin to dog-paddle in it. Be, because right where we was, the Nishnabotna was only four-an'-a-half inches deep. So we wound up a-crawlin' along down on all fours in it, through the mud an' beer cans an' yucky things an' old pieces a' cars.
We went past a bunch a' fenders an' a couple a' Plymouth hubcaps, when we come to a place where we thought there might be some toads. When we was surprised by a farmer who told us to get on out of there an' to never come back or he'd call up the sheriff an' have us put into jail for the rest of our natural-born lives with nothin' to eat but bread an' water so we'd starve.
But time passes by real quickly when you're havin' fun, so we ran through the fenders and the mud to the bridge again. But when we got back there we sadly discovered that the sun had been out and our backs was all blistered so bad we had to lay flat on our bellies for two weeks in bed which made us sick to our stomachs an' we didn't care about nothin' anymore.
It just ain't too good for your livers to go swimmin' in that river. You can get cut up pretty bad in there an' there ain't too many toads.
There's nothin' but, There's nothin' but mud in there an' there's all kinds a' crud, an' it's layin' all over the place so you'd better watch out.
If you wanna get sick, just go crawlin' around in that creek. There's a whole lot a' bad things that can happen to you.
Rollin' down the runway
Thinkin' 'bout the one-way of my life
With another cup of coffee
And another lonesome city far behind
This old 747 will be flyin' over Heaven
One more time
And the tears begin to fallin'
When I think about the mountains on my mind
But now the skies above are sunny
And it's time to say it's funny
How I never thought I'd ever fly this high
But maybe someday when it's over
When I'm just a little older
I can go back to the mountains on my mind
Flyin' through the night time
To a far off city skyline in the dawn
And a thousand lights below me
Are like fireflies tryin' to tell me that I'm wrong
So I try to find a reason
To forget the changin' seasons in my mind
But the winds of time are blowin'
And I've gotta go on knowin' that I tried
'Cause now I hear a different drummer
And I've used up all my summers
Chasin' rainbows that I really didn't wanna find
But maybe someday when it's over
When I'm just a little older
Well, I was a poor boy
Just a-kickin' around
Eighteen, with a head full a' dreams
Took some money back then
Did a year in the pen
For not livin' within my means
I worked ev'ry day
I did my time the hard way
I walked out a' that place feelin' clean
I got a job, a guitar
I bought an old beat-up car
Started livin' within my means
Fell in love with a beautiful lady, of sorts
But she was ruthless, restless, and mean
She left me one day
And now I've had to pay
For not lovin' within my means
Then I took to drinkin'
To drive her from my mind
And it helps me forget her, it seems
I just drink now and then
Only now I'm drunk again
For not drinkin' within my means
Now I know that I'm dyin'
But I don't worry none
'Cause I know my soul He'll redeem
But what bothers me
Unless they bury me free
Is I won't even die within my means
But when the dyin's all over
An' I come back again
Say "to hell" with self-pride and esteem
I'll get born in my teens
An' I'll stick to my dreams
[Clap your hands and stomp your feet.]
Well, I've walked the line on 89
In the Arizona sun
I've chased the moon and I've caught a star
On U.S. one-oh-one
I've seen the sights from the Northern Lights
To the bend in the Rio Grande
I've took in a lot of this U.S.A.
'Cause I've trucked all over this land
[Start the banjo pickin'.]
Well, I've changed a tire by the light of a fire
On the rock-bound coast of Maine
I've shoveled snow up in Idaho
Been stuck on the Kansas plains
I've been to the end of the world and back
With a wheel and a stick in my hands
I've passed the test and I've done my best
I've trucked all over this land
[Chorus]
I've trucked all over this land
From Maine to the Rio Grande
I've paid the price of a truckin' life
But I've trucked all over this land
[Lots of banjo pickin' here.]
I've heard the wail of a gallopin' gale
On the road to the Florida Keys
I've felt the roar of a thunderstorm
On the Oklahoma seas
I've set my sail on the Oregon Trail
I've camped in a redwood stand
I've loved the best and I've hated the rest
But I've trucked all over this land
[Chorus]
I've trucked all over this land
From Maine to the Rio Grande
I've paid the price of a truckin' life
But I've trucked all over this land
[More banjo pickin' here.]
I've said a prayer as I climbed the stairs
On the Rocky Mountain side
I've learned the words and I've sung my song
And I've travelled far and wide
I've fought the fight and I've done all right
For the likes of a wanderin' man
I've paid the price of a truckin' life
But I've trucked all over this land
[Chorus]
Well, I've trucked all over this land
From Maine to the Rio Grande
I've paid the price of a truckin' life
But I've trucked all over this land
Yeah I've trucked all over this land
From Maine to the Rio Grande
I've paid the price of a truckin' life
[Spoken]
I found her settin' on a Sioux City park bench, on a late November afternoon. Me, I was just driftin' through. She said she was fourteen, and runnin' away from home. And no, she wouldn't mind some company. So I sat down and smoked my last cigarette; she pulled out a candy bar. And we started talkin' about the hows and the whys, and we watched the first snow start to fall.
I said, "Hey, little girl. I know the rest of the world looks a lot better to you now. But you know, you gotta hold onto your home. 'Cause home is what's gonna keep you warm. So if you gotta run someplace, run on outta this here park, and back home. Now, I don't have no money to help get you there, but here: take my coat. I can't let you go cold."
[Sung]
I wish there was more that I could give you
Though I know it's your own life to live
But you're so alone
And far away from home
I wish there was more that I could give
[Spoken]
Standin' out at the edge a' town, leanin' on the Route 20 sign, snow blowin' all around, I thought about my home, and how far away it was. And then as night come on and the wind picked up, I started thinkin' about the cold, and the blizzard I might be spendin' the night with. And I realized I didn't have a coat anymore. I was alone. And somewhere, so was that little girl.
Well, along about midnight I was ready to say my prayers, 'cause the road was gone and I wasn't far behind. And then I saw some lights, whirlin' and flashin', and a patrolman helped me into a warm car. And there inside was my little runaway friend; and she wrapped my coat around me. Well, all I could say was "Thank you both, for savin' my life." But the patrolman looked me in the eye and said, "Thank you, for sendin' my little girl back home to me."
[Sung]
I wish there was more that I could give you
Though I know it's your own life to live
But you're so alone
And far away from home
I got plan; yeah, a plot's what I got
To help this country rise again
All a' the haves
Join the have-nots
And strip our fears off while we can
[Chorus; C.W. only]
We've gotta kidnap America
Hold it for ransom
Put a price on our own head
And we won't give back America
'Til ev'ry one of us
Start payin' up, stop playin' dead
Hold up your head
You got it up?
Doomsday's been comin' for a hundred years
But it's not here yet
An' it ain't a-gonna come
Unless we drown in our own tears
[Chorus; the other singers]
We've gotta kidnap America
Hold it for ransom
Put a price on our own head
And we won't give back America
'Til ev'ry one of us
Start payin' up, stop playin' dead
Stand up, Americans!
We are the people!
And the shirt's bein' stripped right off of our backs
We've let it happen
And we've gotta stop it
Before the spirit of sweet Liberty cracks
You guys in office!
You better listen!
We're sick an' tired of gettin' took
This ain't no crap game!
This is our future!
So run this country by the book
Pay up with courage!
Don't die for terror
We got the guts; we're the home of the brave
Well the home may be crumblin'
But not the foundation
It's still as strong as the day it was laid
[Chorus; the other singers]
We've gotta kidnap America
Hold it for ransom
Put a price on our own head
And we won't give back America
'Til ev'ry one of us
Start payin' up, stop playin' dead
I wanna thank ya
Now how many peppers did Peter Piper pick ta get himself a peck a' pickled peppers? But more importantly, how many pickles do you get in a peck, when you can't find no peppers ta pick? And furthermore, who wants a pickle that's made from a pepper by a guy named Peter Piper? And in conclusion, how many pipers do you know that pick pickles? And how many Peters are pickled?
[The chorus, and how to sing it. Pay attention, 'cause there might be a quiz. C.W. and the backup singers sing line 1, then C.W. alone sings lines 2 and 3, then the backup singers alone sing lines 4 and 5.]
Well, I don't know, and I don't care
Go away an' leave me alone
I don't know, and I don't care
He don't know, and he don't care
About nothin'
Now how many ducks could a duck plucker pluck, if'n the duck plucker plucked until dark? And more importantly, how many plucks would it take on a duck, 'til the plucker got duck plucker's arm? And furthermore, if the duck plucker died whilst pluckin' the duck, would you call it the fault of the duck? Or think now, would you say that the plucker had run out of ducks? And they called it "duck plucker's luck"?
[Chorus. See the instructions, above.]
Well, I don't know, and I don't care
Go away an' leave me alone
I don't know, and I don't care
He don't know, and he don't care
About nothin'
Now how much wood could a woodpecker peck, whilst Peter was a-pickin' them peppers? And what if the pluckor became the pluckee, and the woodpecker's name was Chuck?
[Chorus. Yeah, one more time.]
Well, I don't know, and I don't care
Go away an' leave me alone
I don't know, and I just don't care
He don't know, and he don't care
About nothin'
[C.W.] Boys got any idea how we gonna get outta this?
[Backup singers] We don't know.
[C.W.] Don't know, huh?
[Backup singers] We don't care.
[C.W.] Yeah, I know you don't care, neither.
[The music just sorta peters out.]
We is screamin' through the valley
Where the Nishnabotna flows
Through the mud and crud and cornfields
Where the mari-ju-wana grows
'Cross the railroad tracks of Persia
Down the hills and up the dale
Had a CJ-5 with a four-wheel drive
And Smokey on my tail.
Well, he picked me up at exit 12
On the I-six-eighty ramp
I was doin' 67 per
When I rumbled through his trap
He commenced to whirl his flashin' lights
And he made his siren wail
I slipped on down to four-wheel drive
With Smokey on my tail
Now I got racin' stripes and dual pipes
And Smokey's got a Ford
Got a mill with a four pot carb, you know
But Smokey's stroked and bored
Well, the chase was on, but I had the edge
With a rig that'll never fail
Got a CJ-5 with a four-wheel drive
And Smokey on my tail
Yeah, he was.
Well, I dropped on down to granny low
And I made a hard right turn
My big ol' fat Commando tires
Went slashin' through the corn
Well, the tassels blew
And the kernels flew
And it looked like yella hail
Just cookin' alive in a four-wheel drive
With Smokey on my tail
Well, we went screamin' through the valley
Where the Nishnabotna flows
Through the mud and crud and cornfields
Where the mari-ju-wana grows
'Cross the railroad tracks of Persia
Up the hills and down the dales
My CJ-5 with four-wheel drive
And Smokey on my tail.
[Imagine a series of comic-style thought balloons.]
Look out, now. Here he come.
Oh, we gonna get it on now.
(Don't hit that fella with the banjo.)
We gonna swim this here creek now, Smokey. [Pronounced "crick", of course.]
Yard wide and a foot deep.
"Nishnabota River", they call it.
Might haveta winch out.
Gonna do a wheelie on that there gopher mound now, Smokey.
Can you dig it, Smokey?
Got four on the floor and four in the air on that one, didn't we?
Goodness gracious. 'Bout ta bust my shocks.
[Back to our regularly-scheduled rhyming. Add the sound of wailing sirens.]
Well, that Jeep of mine made Smokey whine
His rig was made of lead
He was mired in fourteen feet of mud
So he radioed ahead
I pulled up onto the blacktop
Went crashin' on through the rail
Sakes alive! I had twenty-five more
Smokeys on my tail!
Now I had racin' stripes and dual pipes
And Smokey had a Ford
Had a mill with a four pot carb, you know
But Smokey's stroked and bored
Well, the race was on, but I had the edge
With a rig that'll never fail
Got a CJ-5 with a four-wheel drive
[On the CB]
Ah, breaker one-nine, this here's the Rubber Duck. You gotta copy on me, Pig Pen, c'mon? Ah, yeah, 10-4, Pig Pen, fer shure, fer shure. By golly, it's clean clear to Flag Town, c'mon. Yeah, that's a big 10-4 there, Pig Pen, yeah, we definitely got the front door, good buddy. Mercy sakes alive, looks like we got us a convoy...
Was the dark of the moon on the sixth of June
In a Kenworth pullin' logs
Cab-over Pete with a reefer on
And a Jimmy haulin' hogs
We is headin' for bear on I-one-oh
'Bout a mile outta Shaky Town
I says, "Pig Pen, this here's the Rubber Duck.
"And I'm about to put the hammer down."
[Chorus]
'Cause we got a little convoy
Rockin' through the night.
Yeah, we got a little convoy,
Ain't she a beautiful sight?
Come on and join our convoy
Ain't nothin' gonna get in our way.
We gonna roll this truckin' convoy
'Cross the U-S-A.
Convoy!
[On the CB]
Ah, breaker, Pig Pen, this here's the Duck. And, you wanna back off them hogs? Yeah, 10-4, 'bout five mile or so. Ten, roger. Them hogs is gettin' in-tense up here.
By the time we got into Tulsa Town,
We had eighty-five trucks in all.
But they's a roadblock up on the cloverleaf,
And them bears was wall-to-wall.
Yeah, them smokies is thick as bugs on a bumper;
They even had a bear in the air!
I says, "Callin' all trucks, this here's the Duck.
"We about to go a-huntin' bear."
[Chorus]
'Cause we got a great big convoy
Rockin' through the night.
Yeah, we got a great big convoy,
Ain't she a beautiful sight?
Come on and join our convoy
Ain't nothin' gonna get in our way.
We gonna roll this truckin' convoy
'Cross the U-S-A.
Convoy!
[On the CB]
Ah, you wanna give me a 10-9 on that, Pig Pen? Negatory, Pig Pen; you're still too close. Yeah, them hogs is startin' to close up my sinuses. Mercy sakes, you better back off another ten.
Well, we rolled up Interstate 44
Like a rocket sled on rails.
We tore up all of our swindle sheets,
And left 'em settin' on the scales.
By the time we hit that Chi-town,
Them bears was a-gettin' smart:
They'd brought up some reinforcements
From the Illinoise National Guard.
There's armored cars, and tanks, and jeeps,
And rigs of ev'ry size.
Yeah, them chicken coops was full'a bears
And choppers filled the skies.
Well, we shot the line and we went for broke
With a thousand screamin' trucks
An' eleven long-haired Friends a' Jesus
In a chartreuse micra-bus.
[On the CB]
Ah, Rubber Duck to Sodbuster, come over. Yeah, 10-4, Sodbuster? Lissen, you wanna put that micra-bus right behind that suicide jockey? Yeah, he's haulin' dynamite, and he needs all the help he can get.
Well, we laid a strip for the Jersey shore
And prepared to cross the line
I could see the bridge was lined with bears
But I didn't have a dog-goned dime.
I says, "Pig Pen, this here's the Rubber Duck.
"We just ain't a-gonna pay no toll."
So we crashed the gate doing ninety-eight
I says "Let them truckers roll, 10-4."
[Chorus]
'Cause we got a mighty convoy
Rockin' through the night.
Yeah, we got a mighty convoy,
Ain't she a beautiful sight?
Come on and join our convoy
Ain't nothin' gonna get in our way.
We gonna roll this truckin' convoy
'Cross the U-S-A.
Convoy! Ah, 10-4, Pig Pen, what's your twenty?
Convoy! OMAHA? Well, they oughta know what to do with them hogs out there fer shure. Well, mercy
Convoy! sakes, good buddy, we gonna back on outta here, so keep the bugs off your glass and the bears off your...
Convoy! tail. We'll catch you on the flip-flop. This here's the Rubber Duck on the side.
'Way up in the snow
Where the scrub oaks grow
And the coneys and the picas play
Where the marmots abound
All a-diggin' in the ground
And the wind blows cold all day
There's a little pile a' stones
On a little pile a' bones
That's a-what the archaeologists say
But the folks in Lake City
Well, they sing a different ditty
It would like to make your hair turn gray
Now, it's kind'a hard to find
But it'll altercate your mind
If you happen to go the right way
You take Slumgullion Pass
And don't stop for no gas
Until you get yourself to Al's Caf¨¦
It was the genuine, original
Highly pathological
Finger-lickin' digital caf¨¦
It was Al Packer's Legendary
Coronary Fast-food
Cannibal Bar and Buffet
Some dark night
You gonna see a weird light
Up on Cannibal Plateau, they say
It's a scrub oak fire
Like a funeral pyre
Old Packer's been a-cookin' all day
A-when the coyotes howl
And the cougar's on the prowl
They ain't lookin' for your customary prey
Nah, they're waitin' for bones
In a pile a' hot stones
At old Al Packer's Caf¨¦
[Chorus]
Comin' back for more
Comin' back for more
Baby, comin' back for more
Al's Cafe
Comin' back for more
Comin' back for more
Baby, comin' back for more
(Old Al Packer
Was a real bone-cracker
Got lost in a blizzard one day )
When the boys went to get 'im
Old Al just et 'em
And he buried all the bones in the clay
Now you know them fellas
Wasn't toasted marshmellas
And they didn't fall asleep in the hay
But it had been a hard winter
So he had 'em all for dinner
And they didn't find their boots until May
Well, the folks in Lake City
Showed very little pity
So they sentenced him to hang next day
But before they could noose 'im
Old Al got loose an'
He's a-lookin' for you, today
Boohoohaha [Courtesy of Chip Davis.]
[Chorus]
Comin' back for more
Comin' back for more
Baby, comin' back for more
Al's Cafe
Comin' back for more
Comin' back for more
Baby, comin' back for more
(Now 'way up in the snow
Where the scrub oaks grow
And the coneys and the picas play )
Where the marmots abound
All a-diggin' in the ground
And the wind blows cold all day
There's a little pile a' stones
On a little pile a' bones
That's a-what the archaeologists say
But the folks in Lake City
Well, they sing a different ditty
It would like to make your hair turn gray
Now, it's kind'a hard to find
But it'll altercate your mind
If you happen to go the right way
You take Slumgullion Pass
And don't stop for no gas
Until you get yourself to Al's Caf¨¦
It was the genuine, original
Highly pathological
Finger-lickin' digital caf¨¦
It was Al Packer's Legendary
Culinary Fast-food
Cannibal Bar and Buffet
Some dark night
You're gonna see a weird light
Up on Cannibal Plateau, they say Boohoohaha [Chip again.]
It's a scrub oak fire
Like a funeral pyre
Old Packer's been a-cookin' all day
And when the coyotes howl
And the cougar's on the prowl
They ain't lookin' for your customary prey Aahoohoohoohoo [Yeah, it's Chip.]
Nah, they're waitin' for bones
In a pile a' hot stones
(Steve Goodman)
Ridin' on The City of New Orleans
Illinois Central Monday morning rail
Fifteen cars and fifteen restless riders
Two conductors and a-twenty-five sacks a' mail
All along the southbound odyssey
The train pulls out at Kankakee
And moves on along past houses, farms and fields
Passin' trains what ain't got no names
Switch yards full a' old black men
And the graveyards full of them rusted automobiles
[Chorus]
Good mornin' America, how are ya?
Well, a don'tcha know me? I'm your native son
I'm the train they call The City of New Orleans
And I'll be gone five hundred miles when the day is done
A-dealin' cards with an old man down in the club car
Just a penny a point ain't a-nobody keepin' score
Say won't you pass that there paper bag that's a-wrappin' the bottle
Feel them wheels rumblin' under that floor
And the sons of Pullman porters
And the sons of engineers
Ride their daddy's magical carpet made out of steel
Mamas with their babies asleepin'
Are rockin' to the gentle beat
And the rhythm of the rockin' rails is all they feel
[Chorus]
Good mornin' America, how are ya?
Well, a don'tcha know me? I'm your native son
I'm the train they call The City of New Orleans
And I'll be gone five hundred miles when the day is done
Night-time on The City of New Orleans
A-changin' cars a-down in Memphis, Tennessee
Well, a half way home, and a we gonna be there by mornin'
Through the Mississippi darkness
Rollin' down to that sea
Now all a' them towns and all the people seem
To fade away into a bad ol' dream
But the steel rail, well he still ain't heard that news
Conductor's a-singin' that song again
Sayin' "Passengers will please refrain
"This train done got the disappearin' railroad blues"
[Chorus]
Good night America, how are ya?
Well, a don'tcha know me? I'm your native son
I'm the train they call The City of New Orleans
And I'll be gone five hundred miles when the day is done
[Fade out.]
Mamas with their babies asleepin'
Are rockin' to the gentle beat
And the rhythm of the rockin' rails is all they feel
Mamas with their babies asleepin'
Are rockin' to the gentle beat
And the rhythm of the rockin' rails is all they feel
Me an' RJ an' the kids was on a camp-out in the mountains, and we had us one'a them U-Drive-'Em Army Jeep cars which we rented from a fella by the name of Kubozke for thirty bucks a day, buy your gas along the way, take a rabbit's foot and leave a pint of blood for a dee-posit.
And he 'splained it all to us how we was supposed to get to Telluride, which is fifty miles away by way of the regular highway, however, there was a shortcut but unless we had drove the Black Bear Road before, we'd better be off to stay, stay in bed and sleep late. (Pay no attention to the gitar there.)
Well, we took up off'n the highway and we come upon a sign says "Black Bear Road. You don't have to be crazy to drive this road, but it helps." I says, "RJ, this must the shortcut road Kubozke was talkin' about." She didn't pay no mind, 'cause she was makin' peanut butter sandwiches for the kids in the back seat throwin' rocks and drinkin' Kool-Aid and playin' count-the-license-plates. But they wasn't havin' too much fun a-countin' license plate or cars, 'cause there weren't no other cars.
We went about a mile-and-a-half in about four hours, busted off the right front fender, tore a hole in the oil pan on a rock as big as a hall closet. Went over a bump and spilt the Kool-Aid and Roy Gene stuck his bolo knife right through the convertible top and the dog threw up all over the back seat. Peanut butter don't agree with him, you see.
So we had to stop and take off the top and air everything out and clean it up. The dog run off and RJ says she felt her asthma comin' on. I was sittin' there wonderin' what to do when the en-tire scenic San Joo-wan U-Drive-'Em Army Jeep car sank in the mud. At thirteen thousand feet above sea level.
Well, we shoveled it out and ate our lunch, the dog made a yellow hole in the snow and Roy Gene got out his Instamatic and took a snapshot of it. Mary Elizabeth drawed a picture of the road; it looked like a whole bunch a' Zs and Ws all strung together. And RJ took one look at it and said that the only way that Jeep car is goin' down that road is over her dead body. Then a rock slipped out from under the wheel and the U-Drive-'Em Army Jeep car went right over the edge of the cliff. Yahoo-oo-oo-oo!
One night last summer we were camped at ten thousand feet up where the air is clear, high in the Rockies of Lost Lake, Colorado. And as the fire burned low and only a few glowing embers remained, we laid on our backs all warm in our sleeping bags and looked up at the stars.
And as I felt myself falling into the vastness of the Universe, I thought about things, and places, and times.
I thought about the time my grandma told me what to say when I saw the evening star. You know, Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight.
The air is crystal-clear up here; that's why you can see a million stars.
I remember a time a bunch of us were in a canyon of the Green River in Wyoming; it was a night like this. And we had our rafts pulled up on the bank an' turned over so we could sleep on 'em, and one of the guys from New York said, "Hey! Look at the smog in the sky! Smog clear out here in the sticks!" And somebody said, "Hey, Joe, that's not smog; that's the Milky Way."
Joe had never seen the Milky Way.
And we saw the Northern Lights once, in the Bitterroot Mountains of Montana. They're like flames from some prehistoric campfire, leaping and dancing in the sky and changing colors. Red to gold, and blue to violet... Aurora Borealis. It's like the equinox, the changing of the seasons. Summer to fall, young to old, then to now. And then tomorrow...
It's 4 A.M., and I'm a hundred miles from breakfast in Wyomin'
I'm not complainin'
I got the radio on, playin' on a station from New Orleans
An' now it's rainin'
I'm makin' time, tryin' ta keep it rollin'
And I'm all alone
[Chorus]
Windshield wipers in the rain
I hear that country-western music comin' at me, through the thunder
A flash of lightnin'
I hear the D.J., sayin' "Here's a little tune for all you truckers.
"I hope you like it."
I'm gettin' tired; my eyes are feelin' sandy
When I'm alone
[Chorus]
Windshield wipers in the rain
I hear a freight train comin' down
I see the headlights flashin' 'round
I feel an earthquake in the ground
An' then he's gone
An' I'm alone
All alone
[Chorus]
Windshield wipers in the rain
I feel a cold Wyomin' chill comin' on me in the mornin'
I need some welcome
I see a sign, says it's only fifty miles to where I'm going
And I hope it's open
I look around, wishin' you was with me
But I'm alone
[Chorus]
Windshield wipers in the rain
I see a distant neon sign
I turn the music way up high
I wipe the lonesome from my eyes
But I'm alone
[Chorus]
Jimmy Joe left the mountain 'bout seven months ago,
When the autumn nights turned cool
Chasin' a dream, like they say
Just goin' away to school
An' though he loved Amy more'n anything else,
He felt he just had to go, and make his way
An' Amy felt pretty close to dyin' when Jimmy left
That September day
Y'see, there was somethin' she had to tell him,
But the words were never found
An' as they stood there by the garden gate,
Jimmy picked a wildflower from the ground
As he placed it in Amy's hand an' kissed her,
An' her fingers touched the dew,
He wiped her tears away and told her he'd be back
Not knowin' what she knew
[Chorus]
Watch the wildwood flowers for me
And I'll watch my dreams for you
And I promise that I'll write you everyday
And when the winter snow is gone
Touch the flowers as they grow
And when the first one blooms then I'll be on my way
Well, Jimmy Joe never wrote those letters
An' through the winter, Amy's hopes grew dim
As she felt the life inside her stir
An' she watched the flowers grow, for him
Last spring Jimmy Joe came home, too late
He found that Amy'd gone away
An' died givin' life to his baby boy
An' he recalled what he had said that September day
[Chorus]
Watch the wildwood flowers for me
And I'll watch my dreams for you
And when the first one blooms then I'll be on my way
Watch the wildwood flowers for me
And I'll watch my dreams for you
And when the first one blooms then I'll be on my way
She was born one mornin' on a San Juan summer
Back in eighteen and eighty and one
She was a beautiful daughter of the D and R G
And she weighed about a thousand ton
Well, it's a-forty-five mile through the Animas canyon
So they set her on the narra gauge
She drank a whole lot a' water
And she ate a lot of coal
And they called her the Silverton (Silverton train)
[Chorus]
Here comes the Silverton, up from Durango
Here comes the Silverton, a-shovelin' coal
Here comes the Silverton, up from the canyon
See the smoke and hear the whistle blow
Well, now listen to the whistle in the Rock Wood cut
On the high line to Silverton town
And you're gonna get a shiver
When you check out the river
Which is four hundred feet straight down
Take on some water at the Needleton tank
And then a-struggle up a two-five grade
And by the time you get your hide
Past the Snowshed slide
You've had a ride on the Silverton (Silverton train)
[Chorus]
Here comes the Silverton, up from Durango
Here comes the Silverton, a-shovelin' coal
Here comes the Silverton, up from the canyon
See the smoke and hear the whistle blow
[Musical interlude here. Nice violins, and the kettle drums boom well.]
[Chorus]
Here comes the Silverton, up from Durango
Here comes the Silverton, a-shovelin' coal
Here comes the Silverton, up from the canyon
See the smoke and hear the whistle blow
[If the next line seems a bit familiar, you're correct. Chug-chug, toot-toot, off we go.]
Now, down by the station, early in the mornin'
There's a whole lot a' people in line
And they all got a ticket
On The Train To Yesterday
And it's a-gonna leave on time
Well, it's a forty-five mile up the Animas canyon
So they run her on the narra gauge
She takes a whole lot a' water
And she needs a lot of coal
And they call her the Silverton (Silverton train)
[Chorus]
Here comes the Silverton, up from Durango
Here comes the Silverton, a-shovelin' coal
Here comes the Silverton, up from the canyon
See the smoke and hear the whistle blow
[Fade out]
Here comes the Silverton, up from Durango
Here comes the Silverton, a-shovelin' coal
Here comes the Silverton, up from the canyon
See the smoke and hear the whistle blow
Here comes the Silverton, up from Durango
Here comes the Silverton, a-shovelin' coal
Here comes the Silverton, up from the canyon
'Way out in Colorado
In the Camp Bird Mine
Down deep in the darkness
On level nine
Where the water trickles
An' your blood runs cold
There's a lonesome miner
Still lookin' for gold
He's way down deep...
In the Camp Bird Mine
He never sees the snowfall
Never knows the spring
'Cause its eternal midnight
Where he does his thing
He never feels the sunlight
Doesn't need the moon
He's had his lamp a-burnin'
Since 'ninety-two
He's way down deep...
In the Camp Bird Mine
Way down deep...
Way down deep...
Way down deep...
Way down...
In the Camp Bird Mine
They say you never see 'im
You just know he's there
But you can hear his hammer
In the devil's lair
Where the silver sparkles
An' your blood runs cold
There's a phantom miner
Still lookin' for gold
He's way down deep
In the Camp Bird Mine
Way down deep...
Way down deep...
Way down deep...
Way down deep...
How long has it been
Since you got up on the early side a' mornin'?
And saw the sun a-risin'
Bright an' shiny on the eastern side a' day?
And long will it be
'Til you listen to the sound of evenin' thunder?
And go runnin' through the raindrops
And stop to smell the flowers on the way
How long has it been
Since you heard the leaves a-rustlin' in November?
And felt the autumn wind
Blowin' soft across a sky of sil'vry gray?
And how long will it be
'Til you walk along the riverside together?
And take the time to skip a stone
And stop to watch the ripples fade away
But we're so busy tryin' to make it
Workin' mornin', noon and night
That we never see the sunlight
And anytime we started lookin'
For the little things in life that make it livin'
How long has it been
Since you held your woman in your arms and kissed her?
And told her that you'd love her
'Til the day that heaven takes you both away?
And how long will it be
'Til you wake up late at night and turn to whisper,
"Hon, I promise you tomorrow ain't a-gonna be just another day."
But we're so busy tryin' to make it
Workin' mornin', noon and night
That we never feel the lovelight
And anytime we started hearin'
All them quiet words that come from up above
We're so busy tryin' to fight it
Drivin' hard to beat the stoplight
That we never see the starlight
And anytime we started lookin'
For the little things in life that make it love
Yeah, the little things in life that make it livin'
On a cold November mornin'
Back in nineteen-thirty-seven
With an early snow a-fallin'
On the three-foot tracks at Ames
Came a mighty strange contraption
Known to trainmen as a motor
But to folks in Colorado
She was known by another name
Up the canyons south of Sawpit
Past the red Cathedral spires
'Cross the yellow mountain switchbacks
And the rapids far below
On the high and lofty trestles
Near the fabled mines of Ophir
In the silver San Juan Mountains
Came a goose a-plowin' snow
[Chorus]
With a Pierce-Arrow engine,
Runnin' hot and on the loose
Came the Rio Grande Southern
The Gallopin' Goose
With a Pierce-Arrow engine
Runnin' hot and on the loose
Came Number Five, The Gallopin' Goose
'Twas a four-door auto-mobile
On a dozen wheels of iron
Sixteen feet of rockin' boxcar
Spot-welded to her tail
Loaded down with mercantile
Ten bags a' high-grade ore
Two mothers nursin' babies
Seven miners an' the mail
Up the side a' Sunshine Mountain
By internal gas combustion
Eight Pierce-Arrow pistons pullin'
Fifteen thousand pounds a' lead
At the snowshed on the summit
The conductor said his prayers
He declared a busted driveshaft
On the pass at Lizard Head
[Chorus]
With a Pierce-Arrow engine
Runnin' hot and on the loose
Came the Rio Grande Southern
The Gallopin' Goose
With a Pierce-Arrow engine
Runnin' hot and on the loose
Came Number Five, The Gallopin' Goose
[Musical interlude here.]
Down the three-percent to Rico
In the valley of Dolores
They still talk about the Southern
An' her flock of flyin' geese
From the roundhouse at Ridgway
To the depot at Durango
All the tracks are gone for scrap iron
And the ganders rest in peace
Up the canyons south of Sawpit
Past the red Cathedral spires
'Cross the yellow mountain switchbacks
And the rapids far below
On the high and lofty trestles
Near the fabled mines of Ophir
In the silver San Juan Mountains
There's a legend in the snow
[Chorus]
With a Pierce-Arrow engine
Runnin' hot and on the loose
Came the Rio Grande Southern
The Gallopin' Goose
With a Pierce-Arrow engine
Runnin' hot and on the loose
Well, in eighteen-fourteen we took a little trip
Along with Colonel Jackson down the mighty Mississip
We took a little bacon and we took a little beans
And we caught the bloody British at the town of New Orleans.
[Chorus]
We fired our guns and the British kept a-comin'
There wasn't nigh as many as there was a while ago
We fired once more and they all began a-runnin'
Down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico
Well we eye-balled the river and we see the Limeys come
Musta been a hunnert of 'em beatin' on a drum
And then they stepped so high and they made the bugles ring
We hid behind our cotton bales and didn't say a thing
[Chorus]
We fired our guns and the British kept a-comin'
There wasn't nigh as many as there was a while ago
We fired once more and they all began a-runnin'
Down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico
Now, Old Hickory says we can take 'em by surprise
If we don't shoot our wads 'til we look 'em in the eyes
So we held off our fire 'til we see them real well
Then we opened up our squirrel guns and really gave 'em hell
[Chorus]
We fired our guns and the British kept a-comin'
There wasn't nigh as many as there was a while ago
We fired once more and they all began a-runnin'
Down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico
[The chorus (the singers) sings this verse.]
Well, they ran through the briars and they ran through the brambles
And they ran through the bushes where the rabbits couldn't go
Ran so fast that the hounds couldn't catch 'em
Down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico.
[Back to C.W.]
Well, we fired our cannon 'til the barrel melted down
So we grabbed an alligator and we turned his tail around
We stuffed his head with cannon balls and powdered his behind
And when we lit the fuse that old gator blew his mind
[Chorus]
We fired our guns and the British kept a-comin'
There wasn't nigh as many as there was a while ago
We fired once more and they all began a-runnin'
Down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico
[The chorus (the singers) sings this verse.]
Well, they ran through the briars and they ran through the brambles
And they ran through the bushes where the rabbits couldn't go
Ran so fast that the hounds couldn't catch 'em
Down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico.
[Okay, the singing's over.]
Hup, hip, trip, four.
Take my duds to the junkman
Give 'im ev'rything I got
Take my brass belt buckle an' my turquoise ring
I gotta get out while I'm hot
You ain't a-con-tri-bu-tin' to the way I'm livin',
Yer support don't mean a lot
Nobody gives a damn about what I am,
They give me stuff about what I'm not
Put my cash in a root beer bottle
But you better hold back a dime
So you can call someone who cares about a-hearin'
You can tell 'em how I wasted your time
Pack my songs in a suitcase
Send 'em out to old Dave Dee
An' you can take them earplugs outta yer head
'Cause you won't hear a thing from me
[Tap dance here, if you feel inclined.]
Some times I'm right,
Some times I'm wrong,
But most a' time I'm in-between
There's always somebody wantin' somethin' for nothin'
Somethin' gettin' nothin' for me
Well, you wanted me for dependency
But my will just turned to won't
Though you never cared about me when I did,
You gonna miss me when I don't
So, take my duds to the junkman
Give 'im ev'rything I got
Take my brass belt buckle an' my turquoise ring
I gotta get out while I'm hot
You ain't a-con-tri-bu-tin' to the way I'm livin',
Yer support don't mean a lot
Nobody gives a damn about what I am,
They give me stuff about what I'm not
Nobody gives a damn about what I am,
When the snow falls on Christmas Eve,
And everything's white
I sit by the window,
And remember another night
When Mama played the organ,
And we turned off all the lights
And we all stood around her
And sang Silent Night
The organ is quiet now,
And Mama's gone
The sound of that Christmas Eve
Will live on and on
We sang all the old carols,
The hymns she loved to hear
And she played them over, one by one,
From memory, and by ear
And then she'd find the ancient album,
With its pages turned gold
And the crayon-colored paper star
I made so long ago
But brighter than any star
Was the love in Mama's eyes
As she said, "Merry Christmas, kids",
And she kissed us goodnight
And the organ's quiet now,
And Mama's gone
But the sound of that Christmas Eve
Will live on and on
The years have gone by now,
Since that last Christmas Eve
But the joy is still with me,
And the love will never leave
When Mama played the organ,
And we turned off all the lights
And we all stood together
