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![Monty Python and the knights of the Holy Grail[1975]](http://web.archive.org./web/20140608080020im_/https://i.ytimg.com/vi/eOfI88NKRzY/0.jpg "hey guys i shall put many movies on to my chanel but this is my first so please enjoy also please like leave cmmet if you feel like itand smack down that subsribe button to start the army against the BARRELS!!!. also i do not own nor did i publish this movie i am just doing for fun.")
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3 min 20 sec
Monty Python - Spam
Monty Python - Spam
-
6 min 7 sec
Argument Clinic
Argument ClinicArgument Clinic
Monty Python's Flying Circus http://www.amazon.com/Complete-Monty-Pythons-Flying-Circus/dp/B001E77XNA/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s;=dvd&qid;=1226597796&sr;=1-1
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5 min 28 sec
The Parrot Sketch
The Parrot SketchThe Parrot Sketch
Monty Python's Flying Circus http://www.amazon.com/Complete-Monty-Pythons-Flying-Circus/dp/B001E77XNA/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s;=dvd&qid;=1226597796&sr;=1-1
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4 min 3 sec
Ministry of Silly Walks
Ministry of Silly WalksMinistry of Silly Walks
http://wauniversityblog.com
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%s hours 47 min 32 sec
Monty Python's The Meaning of Life
Monty Python's The Meaning of LifeMonty Python's The Meaning of Life
N/A
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3 min 47 sec
monty python football
monty python footballmonty python football
monty python guyswith their crazy ideas
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3 min 13 sec
Monty Python - Four Yorkshiremen
Monty Python - Four YorkshiremenMonty Python - Four Yorkshiremen
Monty Python - Four Yorkshiremen
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9 min 10 sec
Monty Python - The Spanish Inquisition
Monty Python - The Spanish InquisitionMonty Python - The Spanish Inquisition
Great British comedy classic
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%s hours 28 min 24 sec
Monty Python and the knights of the Holy Grail[1975]
Monty Python and the knights of the Holy Grail[1975]Monty Python and the knights of the Holy Grail[1975]
hey guys i shall put many movies on to my chanel but this is my first so please enjoy also please like leave cmmet if you feel like itand smack down that subsribe button to start the army against the BARRELS!!!. also i do not own nor did i publish this movie i am just doing for fun.
-
4 min 15 sec
She's a witch!
She's a witch!She's a witch!
Monty Python and the Holy Grail... :D
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3 min 19 sec
Always Look On The Bright Side of Life
Always Look On The Bright Side of LifeAlways Look On The Bright Side of Life
Life of Brian http://www.amazon.com/Monty-Python-Trinity-Pythons-Meaning/dp/B001E12ZAM/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s;=dvd&qid;=1226692215&sr;=1-1
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2 min 29 sec
The Monty Python Channel on YouTube
The Monty Python Channel on YouTubeThe Monty Python Channel on YouTube
Monty Python announces its decision to launch its YouTube channel http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_gw?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords;=MONTY+PYTHON&x;=0&y;=0
- 13681 Monty Python
- 9617 Grahamchapman
- 9618 Johncleese
- 9619 Terrygilliam
- 9620 Ericidle
- 9621 Michaelpalin
- 9622 Terryjones
- A Fish Called Wanda
- Alan Bennett
- Ale
- All You Need Is Cash
- All You Need is Cash
- Alton Brown
- Amstrad CPC
- Anaesthetic
- Anagram
- April Fool's Day
- Architects Sketch
- Are You Being Served
- Aspen, Colorado
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- BBC
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- Beatitudes
- Ben & Jerry's
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- Benefit concert
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- Black Sheep Brewery
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- Bob Geldof
- Bonzo Dog Band
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- Brazil (film)
- Bronzino
- Bruces sketch
- Bytecode
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- Cheese Shop sketch
- Chicago
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- Closing credits
- Cold open
- Collage
- Comedy genres
- Commodore 64
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- Cross-dress
- Crunchy Frog
- Cult
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- Dallas, Texas
- Dark comedy
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- Dead Bishop
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- Dead Parrot sketch
- Dead Poets Society
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- Dubbing (filmmaking)
- Dudley Moore
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- Epix (TV channel)
- Eric Idle
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- Fish Licence
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- George Carlin
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- How Not To Be Seen
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- Human rights
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- Spam (electronic)
- Spam (Monty Python)
- Spamalot
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- Surreal comedy
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- Taxonomy
- Terry Gilliam
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- The Argument Sketch
- The Beatles
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- The Final Rip Off
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- The Goons
- The Lumberjack Song
- The Mouse Problem
- The Oxford Revue
- The Reptile Room
- The Rutles
- The Simpsons
- The Two Ronnies
- Tim Brooke-Taylor
- Tim Curry
- Time Bandits
- Time-Life Films
- Title sequence
- Tom Hanks
- Tony Award
- Tony Awards
- Toronto
- Toronto Star
- Trey Parker
- Tunisia
- Twice a Fortnight
- U2
- Undertakers sketch
- United States
- Vic and Bob
- Victor Lownes
- Victorian era
- Virgin Games
- West End of London
- Wikipedia Persondata
- Will & Grace
- World War II
- Yellowbeard
- Yes Minister
- 9617 Grahamchapman
- 9618 Johncleese
- 9619 Terrygilliam
- 9620 Ericidle
- 9621 Michaelpalin
- 9622 Terryjones
- Alan Bennett
- Alton Brown
- Barry Took
- Bill Oddie
- Bob Geldof
- Bronzino
- Bruces sketch
- Carol Cleveland
- Clive James
- Connie Booth
- David Hyde Pierce
- David Jason
- Douglas Adams
- Dudley Moore
- Eddie Izzard
- Elon Musk
- Eric Idle
- Footlights
- George Carlin
- George Harrison
- George Martin
- Germaine Greer
- Graeme Garden
- Graham Chapman
- Greg Garrison
- Guido van Rossum
- Hank Azaria
- Harvey Kurtzman
- Ian MacNaughton
- John Cleese
- John Du Prez
- John Howard Davies
- John Lennon
- John Philip Sousa
- Jonathan Lynn
- Jonathan Miller
- Kenneth Colley
- Kenneth Grahame
- King Arthur
- Larry Wall
- Lemony Snicket
- Marty Feldman
- Matt Groening
- Matt Stone
- Michael Palin
- Mike Nichols
- Monty Python
- Mr Praline
- Neil Innes
- Pete Townshend
- Peter Cook
- Peter Oundjian
- Piranha Brothers
- Richard Ouzounian
- Robbie Coltrane
- Robert Klein
- Ronnie Barker
- Ronnie Corbett
- Sara Ramirez
- Simon Mayo
- Spike Milligan
- Steve Pemberton
- Terry Gilliam
- Terry Jones
- Tim Curry
- Tom Hanks
- Trey Parker
- Victor Lownes
- Wikipedia Persondata
Monty Python's Personal Best
Cast
- Season 1
-
Episode 1: Eric Idle's Personal Best
USA:22 February 2006...
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Episode 2: Graham Chapman's Personal Best
USA:22 February 2006...
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Episode 3: John Cleese's Personal Best
USA:1 March 2006...
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Episode 4: Terry Gilliam's Personal Best
USA:1 March 2006...
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Episode 5: Michael Palin's Personal Best
USA:8 March 2006...
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Episode 6: Terry Jones' Personal Best
USA:8 March 2006...
Monty Python's Flying Circus
The irreverent Monty Python comedy troupe present a series of skits which are often surreal, baudy, uncompromising, tasteless, but inevitably hilarious.
Cast
- Season 1
-
Episode 1: Whither Canada?
Announcer: Yes, mothers, new improved Whizzo Butter, containing 10% more less, is absolutely indisti...
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Episode 2: Sex and Violence
Rustic Shepherd: It's my belief that these sheep are laborin' under the misapprehension that they're...
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Episode 3: How to Recognise Different Types of Trees from Quite a Long Way Away
Announcer: [reading] Yes, wherever bicycles are broken, or menaced by International Communism, Bicyc...
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Episode 4: Owl-Stretching Time
RSM Teaching Self-Defense: You, Mr. Tinned Peach!::Mr. Thompson (Tinned Peach): Thompson.::RSM Teach...
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Episode 5: Man's Crisis of Identity in the Latter Half of the 20th Century
Vet: I'm afraid I'm not personally qualified to confuse cats, but I can recommend an extremely good ...
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Episode 6: It's the Arts
Larry Saltzberg: Now boys, here's my idea.::Third Writer: It's great!::Larry Saltzberg: You like it,...
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Episode 7: You're No Fun Anymore
Narrator: It was a day like many another, and Mr. and Mrs. Samuel Brainsample were a perfectly ordin...
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Episode 8: Full Frontal Nudity
Private Watkins: I'd like to leave the Army please, sir.::The Colonel: Good heavens man, why?::Priva...
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Episode 9: The Ant, an Introduction
Hairdresser: Look... I never wanted to be a hairdresser in the first place. I wanted to be a lumberj...
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Episode 10: Untitled
Voice Over: Dear David Jacobs, East Grinstead, Friday. Why should I have to pay 64 guineas each year...
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Episode 11: The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra Goes to the Bathroom
Man: Dear Sir. I object strongly to the letters on your programme. They are clearly not written by t...
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Episode 12: The Naked Ant
When the TV-series was first shown in the 1970s in Finland, "The 127th Annual Upper Class Twit of th...
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Episode 13: Intermission
T.F. Gumby: [in Gumby mode] I'd like to meet somebody of superior intelligence!...
- Season 2
-
Episode 1: Dinsdale!
Minister of Silly Walks: [to his receptionist] Mrs. Two-Lumps, would you please bring us in two coff...
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Episode 2: The Spanish Inquisition
Reg: Trouble at t'mill.::Lady M: Oh, no! What sort of trouble?::Reg: One on't cross beams gone owt a...
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Episode 3: Deja Vu
Goodrington beach, Paignton, Devon, England, UK...
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Episode 4: The Buzz Aldrin Show
Naughty Chemist: Who's got the chest rash?::[a woman with large breasts raises her hand]::Naughty Ch...
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Episode 5: Live from the Grill-o-Mat
Toastmaster: Gentlemen, pray silence for the President of the Royal Society for Putting Things on To...
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Episode 6: It's a Living
[first lines]::Announcer: Hello, good evening, and welcome to, "It's A Living." The rules are very s...
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Episode 7: The Attila the Hun Show
Professor: It's an entirely new strain of sheep, a killer sheep that can not only hold a rifle but i...
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Episode 8: Archaeology Today
BBC Announcer: [BBC1 World symbol appears] Here is a preview of some of the programmes you'll be abl...
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Episode 9: How to Recognise Different Parts of the Body
Fourth Bruce: Michael Baldwin, this is Bruce. Michael Balwin, this is Bruce. And Michael Baldwin, th...
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Episode 10: Scott of the Antarctic
Post Office Worker: Are all of your pets called Eric?::Mr. Eric Praline: There's nothing so odd abou...
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Episode 11: How Not to Be Seen
Voice Over: Mr. Ken Andrews, of Leighton Road, Slough has concealed himself extremely well. He could...
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Episode 12: Spam
Vikings: [singing] Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam! Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam! Lovely Spam, wonderful Spam!...
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Episode 13: Royal Episode 13
Mortician: We can bury her or burn her.::Bereaved: Oh, well which do you recommend?::Mortician: Well...
- Season 3
-
Episode 1: Njorl's Saga
[Erik Njorl, son of Frothgar, has just been sworn in]::Superintendent: You are hereby charged: one, ...
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Episode 2: Mr. and Mrs. Brian Norris' Ford Popular
Narrator: At this stage Mr. Norris was faced with two major divergent theories concerning his Servat...
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Episode 3: The Money Programme
Man: I'd like to have an argument, please.::Argument Clinic Recptionist: Certainly, sir, have you be...
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Episode 4: Blood, Devastation, Death, War and Horror
'Life and Death Struggles' Narrator: The unsuspecting breakfast glides ever closer, and the royal pa...
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Episode 5: The All-England Summarise Proust Competition
Voiceover: Good evening, and welcome to the Arthur Ludlow Memorial Baths, Newport, for this year's f...
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Episode 6: The War Against Pornography
Voiceover: We would like to apologise for the way in which politicians are represented in this progr...
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Episode 7: Salad Days
Biggles: [dictating] Dear King Harkoff.::Secretary: Of Norway, is that?::Biggles: Just put down what...
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Episode 8: The Cycling Tour
James: [growing angry] Would you like me to show you door?::Mr. Pither: Oh that's really kind of you...
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Episode 9: The Nude Man
Eric Voice Over: And now for ten seconds of sex.::[a clock ticks for ten seconds]::Eric Voice Over: ...
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Episode 10: E. Henry Thripshaw's Disease
Second Assistant: There's a 'Bridget - Queen of the Whip'.::Porn Shop Customer: Yes...::Second Assis...
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Episode 11: Dennis Moore
UK:4 January 1973...
-
Episode 12: A Book at Bedtime
Narrator: What makes these young Scotsman so keen to kill themselves?::Scottsman #1: The money's goo...
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Episode 13: The British Showbiz Awards
First Lady: How do you find the vicarage, Reverend?::Dirty Vicar: I like tits!...
- Season 4
-
Episode 1: The Golden Age of Ballooning
Jacques Montgolfier: This is a great moment for us, Joseph.::Joseph Montgolfier: It is a great momen...
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Episode 2: Michael Ellis
First Store Assistant: I think you would remember him, sir.::Customer: Why do you say that?::First S...
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Episode 3: The Light Entertainment War
Mansfield Vermon-Jones, Father: Intercourse.::Mother: Later dear.::Mansfield Vermon-Jones, Father: N...
-
Episode 4: Hamlet
[first lines]::Hamlet: [on couch] It's just that where ever I go it's the same old thing. All anyone...
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Episode 5: Mr. Neutron
Scrap Man: [about his wife's relatives] They're a couple of little bastards. I hate 'em. They've got...
-
Episode 6: Party Political Broadcast
Brigadier N. F. Marwood-Git: [awkward attraction moment] I don't suppose there much we can do about ...
- Season
-
Episode : Montreux Special
Highlights of this special produced for entry in the 1971 Golden Rose of Montreux Festival include s...
Famous quotes by Monty Python:
"Nudge, nudge, wink, wink. Know what I mean?"
"We are no longer the knights who say ni! We are now the knights who say ekki-ekki-ekki-pitang-zoom-boing!"
"It's funny, isn't it? How your best friend can just blow up like that?"
"-She turned me into a newt!"
"Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!"
"My philosophy, like color television, is all there in black and white"
"I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! You mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"
"Your highness, when I said that you are like a stream of bat's piss, I only mean that you shine out like a shaft of gold when all around it is dark"
"“It was a fantastic success. Over 60 000 times more powerful than Britain’s great pre-war joke, and one which Hitler just couldn’t match.”"
"Always look on the bright side of life."
RELEASE
ALBUMS
- The Liberty Bell
- Mrs Betty Palin
- Chaos and Confusion
- O God You Are So Big!
- Mandy's Lament
- Woe Woe Woe!
- We Love Sheep
- Spiritual
- I Want to Change the World
- What Have the Romans Ever Done for Us?
- The People's Front of Judea
- I Want to Be a Girl
- The Market Square
- You're the One
- Mrs Betty Palin (Again)
- Hail to the Shoe
- Amourdeus
- The Chosen One Has Woken
- When They Grow Up
- Take Us Home
- Not the Messiah
- Individuals
- Find Your Dream
- Arrested!
- A Fair Day's Work
- The Final Song
- Always Look on the Bright Side
- Lumberjack Song
- Introduction
- Llamas (Including 'Granada')
- Gumby - Flower Arranging
- Terry Jones - Link
- Secret Service
- Wrestling
- Communist Quiz (Including 'World in Action')
- Idiot Song
- Albatross
- Nudge Nudge
- Silly Noises
- Cocktail Bar
- Travel Agent
- Spot the Brain Cell
- Bruce's Song
- Argument Song
- Four Yorkshiremen
- Election Special (medley): Prestige Theme / We'll Keep a Welcome / Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head / Don't Sleep in the Subway / Climb Ev'ry Mountain / Election Special
- Lumberjack Song
- Theme Song 'Liberty Bell'
- Parrot Sketch
- Theme Song 'Liberty Bell' (Part 2)
- UK Tour Interview Promo
- Intro (The Meaning of Life)
- Fish (Morning)
- The Meaning of Life
- Part One: The Miracle of Birth
- MP Link
- Part Two: The Third World (Yorkshire)
- Every Sperm Is Sacred
- Bloody Catholics
- Link (Martin Luther)
- Part Three: Growth and Learning
- Part Four: Fighting Each Other
- Terry Gilliam Introduction
- Accountancy Shanty
- Part Five: Live Organ Transplants (Galaxy Song)
- Part Six: The Autumn Years (The Not Noel Coward Song)
- Part Seven: Death (Christmas in Heaven)
- MP Link (Dedication to Fish)
- Intro Title Song Demo Meaning of Life (piano version)
- Alternate Intro Title Song Meaning of Life (band version)
- Fat Song (Deleted Intro to Mr Creosote Sketch)
- Alternate Christmas in Heaven Song
- Radio Ad: Philisophers Corner
- Radio Ad: Officer
- Radio Ad: German Translation
- Greasy Hair
- Dino Viccotti
- Stretch the Script
- Grand Prix
- Hard of Thinking
- Introduction
- Brian Song
- The Wise Men at the Manger
- Brian Song, Part 2
- Sermon on the Mount (Big Nose)
- Stone Salesman
- Stoning
- Ex-Leper
- You Mean You Were Raped? (Nortius Maximus)
- Link to Revolutionaries in the Amphitheatre (Loretta)
- Revolutionaries in the Amphitheatre (Loretta)
- Romans Go Home
- What Have the Romans Ever Done for Us?
- Ben
- Brian Before Pilate (Throw Him to the Floor)
- Prophets
- Beard Salesman
- Brian's Prophecy
- The Hermit
- He's Not the Messiah
- He's a Very Naughty Boy
- Pilate Sentences Brian
- Nisus Wettus
- Pilate With the Crowd (Welease Wodger)
- Nisus Wettus With the Gaolers
- Release Brian
- Not So Bad Once You're Up
- Revs Salute Brian
- Cheeky Is Released
- Mandy to Her Son
- Look on the Bright Side of Life (All Things Dull and Ugly)
- Otto Sketch
- Otto Song
- Otto Song (demo) (Python Sings)
- Brian Song (alternate version)
- Radio Ad: Record Shop
- Radio Ad: Twice as Good
- Introduction
- Constitutional Peasant
- Fish Licence
- Eric the Half-a-Bee Song
- Finland Song
- Travel Agent
- Are You Embarrassed Easily?
- Australian Table Wines
- Argument
- Henry Kissinger Song
- Parrot (Oh, Not Again)
- Interlude
- Sit on My Face
- Undertaker
- Novel Writing (Live From Wessex)
- Interlude 2
- String
- Bells
- Traffic Lights
- Cocktail Bar
- Four Yorkshiremen
- Election Special
- Lumberjack Song
- Closing Theme
- Introduction/The Llama
- Gumby Flower Arranging
- Short Blues
- Wrestling
- World Forum
- Albatross/Colonel Stopping It
- Nudge Nudge
- Crunchy Frog
- Bruces Song
- Travel Agent
- Camp Judges
- Blackmail
- Protest Song
- Pet Shop
- Four Yorkshiremen
- Argument Clinic
- Death of Mary Queen of Scots
- Salvation Fuzz
- Lumberjack Song
- Liberty Bell
- Spanish Inquisition Part 1
- Spanish Inquisition Part 2
- Spanish Inquisition / the Comfy Chair
- Theatre Critic
- Royal Festival Hall Concert
- Spam
- Spam Song
- The Judges
- Embarrassment
- A Bed Time Book
- England 1747 - Dennis Moore
- Money Programme
- The Money Song
- Australian Wines
- How to Do It
- Fish License
- Eric the Half a Bee
- Radio Quiz Game
- City Noises Quiz
- Communist Quiz
- Nudge, Nudge
- Four Yorkshiremen
- Lumberjack Song
- Parrot Sketch
- Introduction
- Three Wise Men
- Brian Song
- Peoples Front of Judea
- Always Look on the Bright Side of Live (edit)
- Always Look on the Bright Side of Life
- Sit on My Face
- Lumberjack Song
- Penis Song (Not the Noel Coward Song)
- Oliver Cromwell
- Money Song
- Accountancy Shanty
- Finland
- Medical Love Song
- I'm So Worried
- Every Sperm Is Sacred
- Never Be Rude to an Arab
- I Like Chinese
- Eric the Half a Bee
- Brian Song
- Bruces' Philosophers Song
- The Meaning of Life
- Knights of the Round Table
- All Things Dull and Ugly
- Decomposing Composers
- Henry Kissinger
- I've Got Two Legs
- Christmas in Heaven
- Galaxy Song
- Spam Song
Monty Python - Spam
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 3 min 20 sec
- Updated: 08 Jun 2014
The origin of SPAM.
If you like this video, support Monthy Python buying their DVD.
http://wn.com/Monty_Python_Spam
The origin of SPAM.
If you like this video, support Monthy Python buying their DVD.
- published: 08 Jun 2014
Argument Clinic
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 6 min 7 sec
- Updated: 08 Jun 2014
Monty Python's Flying Circus
http://www.amazon.com/Complete-Monty-Pythons-Flying-Circus/dp/B001E77XNA/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s;=dvd&qid;=1226597796&sr;=1-1
http://wn.com/Argument_Clinic
Monty Python's Flying Circus
http://www.amazon.com/Complete-Monty-Pythons-Flying-Circus/dp/B001E77XNA/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s;=dvd&qid;=1226597796&sr;=1-1
- published: 08 Jun 2014
The Parrot Sketch
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 5 min 28 sec
- Updated: 08 Jun 2014
Monty Python's Flying Circus
http://www.amazon.com/Complete-Monty-Pythons-Flying-Circus/dp/B001E77XNA/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s;=dvd&qid;=1226597796&sr;=1-1
http://wn.com/The_Parrot_Sketch
Monty Python's Flying Circus
http://www.amazon.com/Complete-Monty-Pythons-Flying-Circus/dp/B001E77XNA/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s;=dvd&qid;=1226597796&sr;=1-1
- published: 08 Jun 2014
Ministry of Silly Walks
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 4 min 3 sec
- Updated: 08 Jun 2014
http://wauniversityblog.com
http://wn.com/Ministry_of_Silly_Walks
http://wauniversityblog.com
- published: 08 Jun 2014
Monty Python's The Meaning of Life
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: %s hours 47 min 32 sec
- Updated: 08 Jun 2014
N/A
http://wn.com/Monty_Python's_The_Meaning_of_Life
N/A
- published: 08 Jun 2014
monty python football
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 3 min 47 sec
- Updated: 08 Jun 2014
monty python guyswith their crazy ideas
http://wn.com/monty_python_football
monty python guyswith their crazy ideas
- published: 08 Jun 2014
Monty Python - Four Yorkshiremen
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 3 min 13 sec
- Updated: 08 Jun 2014
Monty Python - Four Yorkshiremen
http://wn.com/Monty_Python_Four_Yorkshiremen
Monty Python - Four Yorkshiremen
- published: 08 Jun 2014
Monty Python - The Spanish Inquisition
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 9 min 10 sec
- Updated: 08 Jun 2014
Great British comedy classic
http://wn.com/Monty_Python_The_Spanish_Inquisition
Great British comedy classic
- published: 08 Jun 2014
Monty Python and the knights of the Holy Grail[1975]
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: %s hours 28 min 24 sec
- Updated: 08 Jun 2014
hey guys i shall put many movies on to my chanel but this is my first so please enjoy also please like leave cmmet if you feel like itand smack down that subsribe button to start the army against the BARRELS!!!. also i do not own nor did i publish this movie i am just doing for fun.
http://wn.com/Monty_Python_and_the_knights_of_the_Holy_Grail_1975_
hey guys i shall put many movies on to my chanel but this is my first so please enjoy also please like leave cmmet if you feel like itand smack down that subsribe button to start the army against the BARRELS!!!. also i do not own nor did i publish this movie i am just doing for fun.
- published: 08 Jun 2014
She's a witch!
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 4 min 15 sec
- Updated: 08 Jun 2014
Monty Python and the Holy Grail... :D
http://wn.com/She's_a_witch!
Monty Python and the Holy Grail... :D
- published: 08 Jun 2014
Always Look On The Bright Side of Life
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 3 min 19 sec
- Updated: 08 Jun 2014
Life of Brian
http://www.amazon.com/Monty-Python-Trinity-Pythons-Meaning/dp/B001E12ZAM/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s;=dvd&qid;=1226692215&sr;=1-1
http://wn.com/Always_Look_On_The_Bright_Side_of_Life
Life of Brian
http://www.amazon.com/Monty-Python-Trinity-Pythons-Meaning/dp/B001E12ZAM/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s;=dvd&qid;=1226692215&sr;=1-1
- published: 08 Jun 2014
The Monty Python Channel on YouTube
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 2 min 29 sec
- Updated: 08 Jun 2014
Monty Python announces its decision to launch its YouTube channel
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_gw?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords;=MONTY+PYTHON&x;=0&y;=0
http://wn.com/The_Monty_Python_Channel_on_YouTube
Monty Python announces its decision to launch its YouTube channel
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_gw?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords;=MONTY+PYTHON&x;=0&y;=0
- published: 08 Jun 2014
P!nk - Just Give Me A Reason ft. Nate Ruess
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 4 min 3 sec
- Updated: 08 Jun 2014
From the Grammy Nominated album The Truth About Love available now - http://smarturl.it/tal
Music video by P!nk featuring Nate Ruess performing Just Give Me A Reason. (C) 2012 RCA Records, a division of Sony Music Entertainment
http://wn.com/P!nk_Just_Give_Me_A_Reason_ft_Nate_Ruess
From the Grammy Nominated album The Truth About Love available now - http://smarturl.it/tal
Music video by P!nk featuring Nate Ruess performing Just Give Me A Reason. (C) 2012 RCA Records, a division of Sony Music Entertainment
- published: 08 Jun 2014
MACKLEMORE & RYAN LEWIS - THRIFT SHOP FEAT. WANZ (OFFICIAL VIDEO)
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 3 min 53 sec
- Updated: 08 Jun 2014
Thrift Shop on iTunes: http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/thrift-shop-feat.-wanz-single/id556955707
The Heist physical deluxe edition: http://www.macklemoremerch.com
The Heist digital deluxe on iTunes: http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum?id=560097651
The Heist on Amazon: http://amzn.com/B00908DDZM
The Heist in-stores NOW!
Credits:
VIDEO
Directed By Jon Jon Augustavo, Ryan Lewis, Ben Haggerty
Produced By Hollis Wong-Wear, Tricia Davis, Zach Quillen
Lead Grip: David Herberg
Grip Assistants: Josh Marten, Jay Neilson
Stylists: Annie Murphy, Alex Nordstrom
MUSIC
Written by Ben Haggerty
Produced by Ryan Lewis
Featuring Wanz
Additional vocals by Brooklyn Grinnell
Scratches by DV One
SPECIAL THANKS TO
Goodwill Outlet
Value Village Capitol Hill
Red Light Vintage
Fremont Vintage Mall
Unicorn/Narwhal
Northwest African American Museum
Sara Stapleton, JR Ewing and Inner City Empire, Faisal Jaswal, Clay Davis
http://www.macklemore.com
http://www.twitter.com/macklemore
http://www.twitter.com/ryanlewis
http://www.facebook.com/macklemore
http://www.facebook.com/ryanlewisproductions
http://wn.com/MACKLEMORE_RYAN_LEWIS_THRIFT_SHOP_FEAT_WANZ_OFFICIAL_VIDEO
Thrift Shop on iTunes: http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/thrift-shop-feat.-wanz-single/id556955707
The Heist physical deluxe edition: http://www.macklemoremerch.com
The Heist digital deluxe on iTunes: http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum?id=560097651
The Heist on Amazon: http://amzn.com/B00908DDZM
The Heist in-stores NOW!
Credits:
VIDEO
Directed By Jon Jon Augustavo, Ryan Lewis, Ben Haggerty
Produced By Hollis Wong-Wear, Tricia Davis, Zach Quillen
Lead Grip: David Herberg
Grip Assistants: Josh Marten, Jay Neilson
Stylists: Annie Murphy, Alex Nordstrom
MUSIC
Written by Ben Haggerty
Produced by Ryan Lewis
Featuring Wanz
Additional vocals by Brooklyn Grinnell
Scratches by DV One
SPECIAL THANKS TO
Goodwill Outlet
Value Village Capitol Hill
Red Light Vintage
Fremont Vintage Mall
Unicorn/Narwhal
Northwest African American Museum
Sara Stapleton, JR Ewing and Inner City Empire, Faisal Jaswal, Clay Davis
http://www.macklemore.com
http://www.twitter.com/macklemore
http://www.twitter.com/ryanlewis
http://www.facebook.com/macklemore
http://www.facebook.com/ryanlewisproductions
- published: 08 Jun 2014
Janet Devlin's audition - The X Factor 2011 - itv.com/xfactor
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 2 min 22 sec
- Updated: 08 Jun 2014
The X Factor: Incredibly nervous 16-year-old Janet has flown over from the depths of Ireland to be at her audition. Living in a tiny village in the middle of nowhere has meant that she spends a lot of time on her own, using her songwriting abilities as a form of escapism. She's not sung in public before due to her lack of confidence, but she's managed to summon some courage to perform today. One look at the judges' faces proves that her trip to England wasn't wasted. Incredibly nervous 16-year-old Janet has flown over from the depths of Ireland to be at her audition. Living in a tiny village in the middle of nowhere has meant that she spends a lot of time on her own, using her songwriting abilities as a form of escapism. She's not sung in public before due to her lack of confidence, but she's managed to summon some courage to perform today. One look at the judges' faces proves that her trip to England wasn't wasted. See more at http://itv.com/xfactor
http://wn.com/Janet_Devlin's_audition_The_X_Factor_2011_itvcom_xfactor
The X Factor: Incredibly nervous 16-year-old Janet has flown over from the depths of Ireland to be at her audition. Living in a tiny village in the middle of nowhere has meant that she spends a lot of time on her own, using her songwriting abilities as a form of escapism. She's not sung in public before due to her lack of confidence, but she's managed to summon some courage to perform today. One look at the judges' faces proves that her trip to England wasn't wasted. Incredibly nervous 16-year-old Janet has flown over from the depths of Ireland to be at her audition. Living in a tiny village in the middle of nowhere has meant that she spends a lot of time on her own, using her songwriting abilities as a form of escapism. She's not sung in public before due to her lack of confidence, but she's managed to summon some courage to perform today. One look at the judges' faces proves that her trip to England wasn't wasted. See more at http://itv.com/xfactor
- published: 08 Jun 2014
Eminem - Love The Way You Lie ft. Rihanna
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 4 min 27 sec
- Updated: 08 Jun 2014
Music video by Eminem performing Love The Way You Lie. © 2010 Aftermath Records
#VEVOCertified on September 13, 2011. http://www.vevo.com/certified http://www.youtube.com/vevocertified
http://wn.com/Eminem_Love_The_Way_You_Lie_ft_Rihanna
Music video by Eminem performing Love The Way You Lie. © 2010 Aftermath Records
#VEVOCertified on September 13, 2011. http://www.vevo.com/certified http://www.youtube.com/vevocertified
- published: 08 Jun 2014
Mortal Kombat Legacy Season 2 Trailer
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 2 min 15 sec
- Updated: 08 Jun 2014
Watch Season 1 of Mortal Kombat Legacy here: http://www.youtube.com/channel/SWVkIoQKmEa4I
The Mortal Kombat Legacy continues in Season 2 as Liu Kang, Kung Lao, Kenshi, and Ermac join the ranks. The rivalries and histories of these fierce warriors will unfold as Raiden and his recruits clash against the dark forces of Outworld. The epic battle for Earthrealm has finally begun.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
FOR MACHINIMA'S BEST HIGH QUALITY SERIES, GO TO:
http://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=machinimaprime
FOR MORE MACHINIMA, GO TO:
http://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=machinima
FOR MORE GAMEPLAY, GO TO:
http://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=machinimarespawn
FOR MORE SPORTS GAMEPLAY, GO TO:
http://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=machinimasports
FOR MORE MMO & RPG GAMEPLAY, GO TO:
http://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=machinimarealm
FOR MORE COMPETITIVE GAMING, GO TO:
http://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=machinimavs
FOR MORE ANIMATIONS & SHORTS, GO TO:
http://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=happyhour
FOR MORE TRAILERS, GO TO:
http://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=machinimatrailer
WANT TO JOIN THE MACHINIMA AFFILIATE PROGRAM? FILL OUT AN APPLICATION HERE:
Link: http://bit.ly/13ACBHg
http://wn.com/Mortal_Kombat_Legacy_Season_2_Trailer
Watch Season 1 of Mortal Kombat Legacy here: http://www.youtube.com/channel/SWVkIoQKmEa4I
The Mortal Kombat Legacy continues in Season 2 as Liu Kang, Kung Lao, Kenshi, and Ermac join the ranks. The rivalries and histories of these fierce warriors will unfold as Raiden and his recruits clash against the dark forces of Outworld. The epic battle for Earthrealm has finally begun.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
FOR MACHINIMA'S BEST HIGH QUALITY SERIES, GO TO:
http://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=machinimaprime
FOR MORE MACHINIMA, GO TO:
http://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=machinima
FOR MORE GAMEPLAY, GO TO:
http://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=machinimarespawn
FOR MORE SPORTS GAMEPLAY, GO TO:
http://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=machinimasports
FOR MORE MMO & RPG GAMEPLAY, GO TO:
http://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=machinimarealm
FOR MORE COMPETITIVE GAMING, GO TO:
http://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=machinimavs
FOR MORE ANIMATIONS & SHORTS, GO TO:
http://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=happyhour
FOR MORE TRAILERS, GO TO:
http://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=machinimatrailer
WANT TO JOIN THE MACHINIMA AFFILIATE PROGRAM? FILL OUT AN APPLICATION HERE:
Link: http://bit.ly/13ACBHg
- published: 08 Jun 2014
Draw My Life - Ryan Higa
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 7 min 35 sec
- Updated: 08 Jun 2014
So i was pretty hesitant to make this video... but after all of your request, here is my Draw My Life video!
Check out my 2nd Channel for more vlogs:
http://www.youtube.com/higatv
Follow me on TWITTER for more useless stuff about me
http://www.twitter.com/therealryanhiga
Like my FACEBOOK page if you're into that sorta stuff
http://www.facebook.com/higatv
Oh and here is MY SITE... Get teehee merch here if ya want!:
http://www.higatv.com
OR see some boring pics of me on INSTAGRAM!
http://www.instagram.com/notryanhiga
http://wn.com/Draw_My_Life_Ryan_Higa
So i was pretty hesitant to make this video... but after all of your request, here is my Draw My Life video!
Check out my 2nd Channel for more vlogs:
http://www.youtube.com/higatv
Follow me on TWITTER for more useless stuff about me
http://www.twitter.com/therealryanhiga
Like my FACEBOOK page if you're into that sorta stuff
http://www.facebook.com/higatv
Oh and here is MY SITE... Get teehee merch here if ya want!:
http://www.higatv.com
OR see some boring pics of me on INSTAGRAM!
http://www.instagram.com/notryanhiga
- published: 08 Jun 2014
Eminem - Not Afraid
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 4 min 19 sec
- Updated: 08 Jun 2014
Music video by Eminem performing Not Afraid. (C) 2010 Aftermath Records
#VEVOCertified on September 11, 2010.http://www.vevo.com/certified http://www.youtube.com/vevocertified
http://wn.com/Eminem_Not_Afraid
Music video by Eminem performing Not Afraid. (C) 2010 Aftermath Records
#VEVOCertified on September 11, 2010.http://www.vevo.com/certified http://www.youtube.com/vevocertified
- published: 08 Jun 2014
Assassin's Creed Meets Parkour in Real Life
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 2 min 42 sec
- Updated: 08 Jun 2014
Watch the Behind The Scenes in this link below:
http://youtu.be/36CLFOyaml0
Make sure to subscribe to this channel for new vids each week!
http://youtube.com/devinsupertramp
Parkour/Free Running stunts performed by Ronnie Shalvis.
Make sure to check out his youtube channel and facebook page!
http://youtube.com/ronniestreetstunts
https://www.facebook.com/ronniestreetstunts
My friend Stephen Anderson wrote the music for this video!
http://www.stephenjanderson.com
Download the song off of iTunes in this link:
http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/parkour-creed-single/id557349442
The AWESOME costume was made by my friend Allison Dredge! Make sure to check out her facebook page, and make sure to tell her she should work with me again! :) :)
https://www.facebook.com/allisondredgecostumes
My friend Jared Moench did the visual effects shot of Ronnie/Altair jumping from the building, contact him in this link:
missionmoench@gmail.com
And for other special thanks for helping film with the green screen:
Creigton Baird
Brianna Campbell
They have a street team of free runners/parkour performers, as well as a dance crew, and bmx crew. Check them out in the link below!
http://www.ensoulcollab.com
This was shot all on a Canon 5D Mark III, and a Glidecam HD 2000.
http://www.glidecam.com/
And last but not least, make sure to follow me on twitter and facebook, it's the cool thing to do these days :)
https://www.facebook.com/devinsupertrampyoutube
http://twitter.com/devinsupertramp
For business enquires ONLY, contact me here: devinsupertramp@gmail.com
http://wn.com/Assassin's_Creed_Meets_Parkour_in_Real_Life
Watch the Behind The Scenes in this link below:
http://youtu.be/36CLFOyaml0
Make sure to subscribe to this channel for new vids each week!
http://youtube.com/devinsupertramp
Parkour/Free Running stunts performed by Ronnie Shalvis.
Make sure to check out his youtube channel and facebook page!
http://youtube.com/ronniestreetstunts
https://www.facebook.com/ronniestreetstunts
My friend Stephen Anderson wrote the music for this video!
http://www.stephenjanderson.com
Download the song off of iTunes in this link:
http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/parkour-creed-single/id557349442
The AWESOME costume was made by my friend Allison Dredge! Make sure to check out her facebook page, and make sure to tell her she should work with me again! :) :)
https://www.facebook.com/allisondredgecostumes
My friend Jared Moench did the visual effects shot of Ronnie/Altair jumping from the building, contact him in this link:
missionmoench@gmail.com
And for other special thanks for helping film with the green screen:
Creigton Baird
Brianna Campbell
They have a street team of free runners/parkour performers, as well as a dance crew, and bmx crew. Check them out in the link below!
http://www.ensoulcollab.com
This was shot all on a Canon 5D Mark III, and a Glidecam HD 2000.
http://www.glidecam.com/
And last but not least, make sure to follow me on twitter and facebook, it's the cool thing to do these days :)
https://www.facebook.com/devinsupertrampyoutube
http://twitter.com/devinsupertramp
For business enquires ONLY, contact me here: devinsupertramp@gmail.com
- published: 08 Jun 2014
Adele - Someone Like You
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 4 min 45 sec
- Updated: 08 Jun 2014
Music video by Adele performing Someone Like You. (C) 2011 XL Recordings Ltd
http://wn.com/Adele_Someone_Like_You
Music video by Adele performing Someone Like You. (C) 2011 XL Recordings Ltd
- published: 08 Jun 2014
P!nk - Try (The Truth About Love - Live From Los Angeles)
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 4 min 31 sec
- Updated: 08 Jun 2014
Music video by P!nk performing Try (The Truth About Love - Live From Los Angeles). (C) 2012 RCA Records, a division of Sony Music Entertainment
http://wn.com/P!nk_Try_The_Truth_About_Love_Live_From_Los_Angeles
Music video by P!nk performing Try (The Truth About Love - Live From Los Angeles). (C) 2012 RCA Records, a division of Sony Music Entertainment
- published: 08 Jun 2014
Rihanna - Stay ft. Mikky Ekko
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 4 min 8 sec
- Updated: 08 Jun 2014
Download "Stay" from Unapologetic now: http://smarturl.it/UnapologeticDlx
Music video by Rihanna performing Stay ft. Mikky Ekko. © 2013 The Island Def Jam Music Group
http://wn.com/Rihanna_Stay_ft_Mikky_Ekko
Download "Stay" from Unapologetic now: http://smarturl.it/UnapologeticDlx
Music video by Rihanna performing Stay ft. Mikky Ekko. © 2013 The Island Def Jam Music Group
- published: 08 Jun 2014
Adele - Rolling In The Deep
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 3 min 54 sec
- Updated: 08 Jun 2014
Music video by Adele performing Rolling In The Deep. (C) 2010 XL Recordings Ltd.
#VEVOCertified on July 25, 2011. http://www.vevo.com/certified http://www.youtube.com/vevocertified
http://wn.com/Adele_Rolling_In_The_Deep
Music video by Adele performing Rolling In The Deep. (C) 2010 XL Recordings Ltd.
#VEVOCertified on July 25, 2011. http://www.vevo.com/certified http://www.youtube.com/vevocertified
- published: 08 Jun 2014
Why Selena Broke Up With Justin
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 5 min 8 sec
- Updated: 08 Jun 2014
For you nosy people, this is the reason why Selena Gomez broke up with Justin Bieber.
Get the song on iTunes: http://bit.ly/T74XEZ
Andy Lange produced the music, see how in his Making the Music vid:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sO2FV5KJGVo
Subscribe to Andy's channel:
http://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=andylangemusic
Also Thank you to Greg and Will, make sure you follow them!
http://www.twitter.com/slopsmcgee
http://www.twitter.com/willshayhan
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/higatv
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/therealryanhiga
Website: http://www.higatv.com
2nd YT Channel: http://www.youtube.com/higatv
http://wn.com/Why_Selena_Broke_Up_With_Justin
For you nosy people, this is the reason why Selena Gomez broke up with Justin Bieber.
Get the song on iTunes: http://bit.ly/T74XEZ
Andy Lange produced the music, see how in his Making the Music vid:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sO2FV5KJGVo
Subscribe to Andy's channel:
http://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=andylangemusic
Also Thank you to Greg and Will, make sure you follow them!
http://www.twitter.com/slopsmcgee
http://www.twitter.com/willshayhan
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/higatv
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/therealryanhiga
Website: http://www.higatv.com
2nd YT Channel: http://www.youtube.com/higatv
- published: 08 Jun 2014
Nice Guys
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 2 min 50 sec
- Updated: 08 Jun 2014
Behind the Scenes at
http://www.youtube.com/higatv
Two losers take a "how to pick up girls" class and realize that Nice Guys finish last which results in the ultimate douches.
Get "Nice Guys" on iTunes!
http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/nice-guys-single/id441177425
Subscribe to these lovely people:
Chester See (Check out Chester's Version)
http://www.youtube.com/chestersee
Kevjumba (Check out Kev's Version)
http://www.youtube.com/kevjumba
Dtrix
http://www.youtube.com/thedominicshow
Cathy Nguyen
http://www.youtube.com/lilcdawg
Kina Grannis
http://www.youtube.com/kinagrannis
Andy Lange recorded and produced the music. See how he did it in his "Making the Music" video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oifnuRe8LFI
Be sure to subscribe to Andy's channel! http://www.youtube.com/andylangemusic
Subscribe to Justin! Filmed and Edited by Justin Safaei
http://www.youtube.com/jsafaei
http://wn.com/Nice_Guys
Behind the Scenes at
http://www.youtube.com/higatv
Two losers take a "how to pick up girls" class and realize that Nice Guys finish last which results in the ultimate douches.
Get "Nice Guys" on iTunes!
http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/nice-guys-single/id441177425
Subscribe to these lovely people:
Chester See (Check out Chester's Version)
http://www.youtube.com/chestersee
Kevjumba (Check out Kev's Version)
http://www.youtube.com/kevjumba
Dtrix
http://www.youtube.com/thedominicshow
Cathy Nguyen
http://www.youtube.com/lilcdawg
Kina Grannis
http://www.youtube.com/kinagrannis
Andy Lange recorded and produced the music. See how he did it in his "Making the Music" video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oifnuRe8LFI
Be sure to subscribe to Andy's channel! http://www.youtube.com/andylangemusic
Subscribe to Justin! Filmed and Edited by Justin Safaei
http://www.youtube.com/jsafaei
- published: 08 Jun 2014
Jack Sparrow (feat. Michael Bolton)
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 3 min 17 sec
- Updated: 08 Jun 2014
Buy at iTunes: http://goo.gl/zv4o9. New album on sale now! http://turtleneckandchain.com
http://wn.com/Jack_Sparrow_feat_Michael_Bolton
Buy at iTunes: http://goo.gl/zv4o9. New album on sale now! http://turtleneckandchain.com
- published: 08 Jun 2014
Rihanna - Take A Bow
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 3 min 50 sec
- Updated: 08 Jun 2014
Music video by Rihanna performing Take A Bow. YouTube view counts pre-VEVO: 66,288,884. (C) 2008 The Island Def Jam Music Group.
http://wn.com/Rihanna_Take_A_Bow
Music video by Rihanna performing Take A Bow. YouTube view counts pre-VEVO: 66,288,884. (C) 2008 The Island Def Jam Music Group.
- published: 08 Jun 2014
James Arthur sings Shontelle's Impossible - The Final - The X Factor UK 2012
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 4 min 0 sec
- Updated: 08 Jun 2014
Watch judges' comments at http://itv.com/XFactor (UK ONLY)
Watch James Arthur sing Impossible by Shontelle
Sweeeeet! As potential Winner's Singles go, this one is a corker. Watch as James Arthur gets his sexy on with yet another sizzling, show-stopping performance. Seeing as he always delivers, it's high time we started calling him the milkman!
SUBSCRIBE: http://bit.ly/TXFSub
Facebook: http://bit.ly/TXFFB
Twitter: http://bit.ly/TXFTwi
Buy Live Tour Tickets: bit.ly/T3LeU1
Watch full episodes on ITV Player (UK ONLY): http://bit.ly/TXFPla
http://wn.com/James_Arthur_sings_Shontelle's_Impossible_The_Final_The_X_Factor_UK_2012
Watch judges' comments at http://itv.com/XFactor (UK ONLY)
Watch James Arthur sing Impossible by Shontelle
Sweeeeet! As potential Winner's Singles go, this one is a corker. Watch as James Arthur gets his sexy on with yet another sizzling, show-stopping performance. Seeing as he always delivers, it's high time we started calling him the milkman!
SUBSCRIBE: http://bit.ly/TXFSub
Facebook: http://bit.ly/TXFFB
Twitter: http://bit.ly/TXFTwi
Buy Live Tour Tickets: bit.ly/T3LeU1
Watch full episodes on ITV Player (UK ONLY): http://bit.ly/TXFPla
- published: 08 Jun 2014
Rihanna - Rehab ft. Justin Timberlake
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 4 min 38 sec
- Updated: 08 Jun 2014
Music video by Rihanna performing Rehab. YouTube view counts pre-VEVO: 19,591,123. (C) 2007 The Island Def Jam Music Group
http://wn.com/Rihanna_Rehab_ft_Justin_Timberlake
Music video by Rihanna performing Rehab. YouTube view counts pre-VEVO: 19,591,123. (C) 2007 The Island Def Jam Music Group
- published: 08 Jun 2014
Bromance (Official Music Video)
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 3 min 47 sec
- Updated: 08 Jun 2014
Get the song at: http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/bromance-single/id512264961
Music and Lyrics by Chester See (The Singer)
http://www.youtube.com/chestersee
Check out Chester's acoustic version!
http://youtu.be/VMFHZv7jGfc
Andy Lange produced the music http://www.youtube.com/andylangemusic
See how in his Making the Music video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LUmxmQMVWA
Justin Safaei (cinematographer)
http://www.youtubecom/jsafaei
Sean Fujiyoshi
Wayne Brady
Andrew Garcia
Dtrix
Wong Fu
Lana
Abdul
Charlie
Too many to name
+ MUCH MORE
Find me on:
Twitter
http://www.twitter.com/TheRealRyanHiga
Facebook
http://www.facebook.com/HigaTV
Website
http://www.higatv.com
2nd Channel
http://www.youtube.com/higatv
*LYRICS
Verse 1
Its like Eminem and Dr. Dre
If I loved you more I might be gay
And when I'm feeling down
You know just what to say
You my homie, Yeah you know me
And if you ever need a wingman
I'd let any girl blow me off
Cus you're more important than the rest
I confess, I'm a mess
If I'm not hanging with my BFF
You know its true, you my male boo,
Now sing the chorus with me if you're feeling the same way too.
Chorus
Bromance, nothing really gay about it
Not, that there's anything wrong with being gay
Bromance, SHouldn't be ashamed or hide it
I love you in the most heterosexual way.
Verse 2
Hold me
To a promise that I"ll be the kind of the friend that in the end
Will always keep you company
Because when the world gets tough
And times get hard
I will always love you, I'll be your bodyguard
Cus you're my bestie, and if you test me
I'll prove it time and time again, I got your back until the end
A brotha from anotha motha never knew how much I loved ya
Till i started singing this song... huh?
Chorus
Bromance, nothing really gay about it
Not, that there's anything wrong with being gay
Bromance, SHouldn't be ashamed or hide it
I love you in the most heterosexual way.
Bridge
Now that I told you how I feel
Hope you feel the same way too
BUT if you dont, this song was just a joke
BUT if you do, I LOVE YOU
Chorus
Bromance, nothing really gay about it
Not, that there's anything wrong with being gay
Bromance, SHouldn't be ashamed or hide it
I love you in the most heterosexual way.
http://wn.com/Bromance_Official_Music_Video
Get the song at: http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/bromance-single/id512264961
Music and Lyrics by Chester See (The Singer)
http://www.youtube.com/chestersee
Check out Chester's acoustic version!
http://youtu.be/VMFHZv7jGfc
Andy Lange produced the music http://www.youtube.com/andylangemusic
See how in his Making the Music video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LUmxmQMVWA
Justin Safaei (cinematographer)
http://www.youtubecom/jsafaei
Sean Fujiyoshi
Wayne Brady
Andrew Garcia
Dtrix
Wong Fu
Lana
Abdul
Charlie
Too many to name
+ MUCH MORE
Find me on:
Twitter
http://www.twitter.com/TheRealRyanHiga
Facebook
http://www.facebook.com/HigaTV
Website
http://www.higatv.com
2nd Channel
http://www.youtube.com/higatv
*LYRICS
Verse 1
Its like Eminem and Dr. Dre
If I loved you more I might be gay
And when I'm feeling down
You know just what to say
You my homie, Yeah you know me
And if you ever need a wingman
I'd let any girl blow me off
Cus you're more important than the rest
I confess, I'm a mess
If I'm not hanging with my BFF
You know its true, you my male boo,
Now sing the chorus with me if you're feeling the same way too.
Chorus
Bromance, nothing really gay about it
Not, that there's anything wrong with being gay
Bromance, SHouldn't be ashamed or hide it
I love you in the most heterosexual way.
Verse 2
Hold me
To a promise that I"ll be the kind of the friend that in the end
Will always keep you company
Because when the world gets tough
And times get hard
I will always love you, I'll be your bodyguard
Cus you're my bestie, and if you test me
I'll prove it time and time again, I got your back until the end
A brotha from anotha motha never knew how much I loved ya
Till i started singing this song... huh?
Chorus
Bromance, nothing really gay about it
Not, that there's anything wrong with being gay
Bromance, SHouldn't be ashamed or hide it
I love you in the most heterosexual way.
Bridge
Now that I told you how I feel
Hope you feel the same way too
BUT if you dont, this song was just a joke
BUT if you do, I LOVE YOU
Chorus
Bromance, nothing really gay about it
Not, that there's anything wrong with being gay
Bromance, SHouldn't be ashamed or hide it
I love you in the most heterosexual way.
- published: 08 Jun 2014
P!nk - Just Give Me A Reason (Official Lyric Video)
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 4 min 5 sec
- Updated: 08 Jun 2014
The Truth About Love available on iTunes NOW http://smarturl.it/tal
Music video by P!nk performing Just Give Me A Reason. (C) 2012 RCA Records, a division of Sony Music Entertainment
http://wn.com/P!nk_Just_Give_Me_A_Reason_Official_Lyric_Video
The Truth About Love available on iTunes NOW http://smarturl.it/tal
Music video by P!nk performing Just Give Me A Reason. (C) 2012 RCA Records, a division of Sony Music Entertainment
- published: 08 Jun 2014
3-Way (The Golden Rule) (feat. Justin Timberlake & Lady Gaga)
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 3 min 8 sec
- Updated: 08 Jun 2014
Buy on iTunes: http://goo.gl/ZCft1
Originally aired May 21, 2011
Footage courtesy of NBC for promotional use only.
http://wn.com/3-Way_The_Golden_Rule_feat_Justin_Timberlake_Lady_Gaga
Buy on iTunes: http://goo.gl/ZCft1
Originally aired May 21, 2011
Footage courtesy of NBC for promotional use only.
- published: 08 Jun 2014
Rihanna - Hate That I Love You ft. Ne-Yo
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 4 min 58 sec
- Updated: 08 Jun 2014
Music video by Rihanna performing Hate That I Love You. YouTube view counts pre-VEVO: 57,208,048. (C) 2007 The Island Def Jam Music Group
http://wn.com/Rihanna_Hate_That_I_Love_You_ft_Ne-Yo
Music video by Rihanna performing Hate That I Love You. YouTube view counts pre-VEVO: 57,208,048. (C) 2007 The Island Def Jam Music Group
- published: 08 Jun 2014
Rihanna - Unfaithful
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 4 min 56 sec
- Updated: 08 Jun 2014
Music video by Rihanna performing Unfaithful. (C) 2006 The Island Def Jam Music Group
http://wn.com/Rihanna_Unfaithful
Music video by Rihanna performing Unfaithful. (C) 2006 The Island Def Jam Music Group
- published: 08 Jun 2014
![Man of Steel - Official Trailer 3 [HD]](http://web.archive.org./web/20140608080020im_/http://i.ytimg.com/vi/T6DJcgm3wNY/0.jpg "Man of Steel - Official Trailer 3 [HD]")
Man of Steel - Official Trailer 3 [HD]
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 3 min 3 sec
- Updated: 08 Jun 2014
http://manofsteel.com
http://www.facebook.com/manofsteel
In theaters June 14th.
From Warner Bros. and Legendary Pictures comes "Man of Steel", starring Henry Cavill, directed by Zach Snyder. The film also stars Amy Adams, Diane Lane, Kevin Costner, Michael Shannon, Russell Crowe, Antje Traue, Ayelet Zurer, Henry Lennix, Christopher Meloni and Laurence Fishburne.
http://wn.com/Man_of_Steel_Official_Trailer_3_HD_
http://manofsteel.com
http://www.facebook.com/manofsteel
In theaters June 14th.
From Warner Bros. and Legendary Pictures comes "Man of Steel", starring Henry Cavill, directed by Zach Snyder. The film also stars Amy Adams, Diane Lane, Kevin Costner, Michael Shannon, Russell Crowe, Antje Traue, Ayelet Zurer, Henry Lennix, Christopher Meloni and Laurence Fishburne.
- published: 08 Jun 2014
David Guetta - Titanium ft. Sia
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 4 min 6 sec
- Updated: 08 Jun 2014
Buy "Titanium" ft Sia on iTunes here: http://www.smarturl.it/GuettaTitanium
Buy David Guetta's hit album "Nothing But the Beat" feat the hit singles "Where Them Girls At" feat Flo Rida + Nicki Minaj, "Without You" feat Usher and the new single "Turn Me On" feat Nicki Minaj: http://bit.ly/pBKIii
Follow David:
https://twitter.com/davidguetta
https://www.facebook.com/DavidGuetta
http://www.davidguetta.com/
Music video by David Guetta performing Titanium. (C) 2012 What a Music Ltd / EMI Music France, licence exclusive EMI Music France
http://wn.com/David_Guetta_Titanium_ft_Sia
Buy "Titanium" ft Sia on iTunes here: http://www.smarturl.it/GuettaTitanium
Buy David Guetta's hit album "Nothing But the Beat" feat the hit singles "Where Them Girls At" feat Flo Rida + Nicki Minaj, "Without You" feat Usher and the new single "Turn Me On" feat Nicki Minaj: http://bit.ly/pBKIii
Follow David:
https://twitter.com/davidguetta
https://www.facebook.com/DavidGuetta
http://www.davidguetta.com/
Music video by David Guetta performing Titanium. (C) 2012 What a Music Ltd / EMI Music France, licence exclusive EMI Music France
- published: 08 Jun 2014
Shy Ronnie 2: Ronnie & Clyde (feat. Rihanna)
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 2 min 54 sec
- Updated: 08 Jun 2014
Buy at iTunes: http://goo.gl/zv4o9. New album on sale now! http://turtleneckandchain.com
Originally aired October 30, 2010
Footage courtesy of NBC for promotional use only.
http://wn.com/Shy_Ronnie_2_Ronnie_Clyde_feat_Rihanna
Buy at iTunes: http://goo.gl/zv4o9. New album on sale now! http://turtleneckandchain.com
Originally aired October 30, 2010
Footage courtesy of NBC for promotional use only.
- published: 08 Jun 2014
I Just Had Sex (feat. Akon)
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 2 min 56 sec
- Updated: 08 Jun 2014
Buy at iTunes: http://goo.gl/zv4o9. New album on sale now! http://www.turtleneckandchain.com
T-shirts! http://www.thelonelyisland.com/store
The first single of The Lonely Island's 2nd album!!!
Featuring Akon, Jessica Alba, Blake Lively and John McEnroe!
The Lonely Island is Andy Samberg, Akiva Schaffer & Jorma Taccone.
Twitter: @thelonelyisland
http://wn.com/I_Just_Had_Sex_feat_Akon
Buy at iTunes: http://goo.gl/zv4o9. New album on sale now! http://www.turtleneckandchain.com
T-shirts! http://www.thelonelyisland.com/store
The first single of The Lonely Island's 2nd album!!!
Featuring Akon, Jessica Alba, Blake Lively and John McEnroe!
The Lonely Island is Andy Samberg, Akiva Schaffer & Jorma Taccone.
Twitter: @thelonelyisland
- published: 08 Jun 2014
Rihanna - Russian Roulette
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 4 min 24 sec
- Updated: 08 Jun 2014
Music video by Rihanna performing Russian Roulette. (C) 2009 The Island Def Jam Music Group
http://wn.com/Rihanna_Russian_Roulette
Music video by Rihanna performing Russian Roulette. (C) 2009 The Island Def Jam Music Group
- published: 08 Jun 2014
P!nk - Who Knew
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 3 min 33 sec
- Updated: 08 Jun 2014
Music video by P!nk performing Who Knew. (C) 2006 Zomba Recording, LLC
http://wn.com/P!nk_Who_Knew
Music video by P!nk performing Who Knew. (C) 2006 Zomba Recording, LLC
- published: 08 Jun 2014
Monty Python's Flying Circus 1x01 Whither Canada
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 31:20
- Updated: 15 Aug 2013
http://wn.com/Monty_Python's_Flying_Circus_1x01_Whither_Canada
Monty Python's Flying Circus 1x02 Sex & Violence
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 32:50
- Updated: 16 Aug 2013
http://wn.com/Monty_Python's_Flying_Circus_1x02_Sex_Violence
Monty Python's Flying Circus 1x03 How To Recognise Different Types Of Trees From Quite A Long Wa
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 30:54
- Updated: 18 Aug 2013
http://wn.com/Monty_Python's_Flying_Circus_1x03_How_To_Recognise_Different_Types_Of_Trees_From_Quite_A_Long_Wa
Monty Python's Flying Circus 1x04 Owl stretching Time
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 29:10
- Updated: 15 Aug 2013
http://wn.com/Monty_Python's_Flying_Circus_1x04_Owl_stretching_Time
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E04 Part 1
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 11:16
- Updated: 14 Aug 2013
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E04 Owl Stretching Time Part 1.
http://wn.com/Monty_Python's_Flying_Circus_S1E04_Part_1
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E04 Owl Stretching Time Part 1.
- published: 08 Nov 2010
- views: 20310
- author: RaminPauls
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E04 Part 2
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 8:53
- Updated: 20 Jul 2013
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E04 Owl Stretching Time Part 2.
http://wn.com/Monty_Python's_Flying_Circus_S1E04_Part_2
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E04 Owl Stretching Time Part 2.
- published: 08 Nov 2010
- views: 15675
- author: RaminPauls
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E05 Part 1
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 15:19
- Updated: 10 Aug 2013
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E05 Man's crisis of identity in the latter half of the twentieth century: Part 1.
http://wn.com/Monty_Python's_Flying_Circus_S1E05_Part_1
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E05 Man's crisis of identity in the latter half of the twentieth century: Part 1.
- published: 11 Nov 2010
- views: 20092
- author: RaminPauls
Monty Python`s Flying Circus S1E05 Part 2
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 13:35
- Updated: 11 Aug 2013
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E05 Man's crisis of identity in the latter half of the twentieth century: Part 2.
http://wn.com/Monty_Python`s_Flying_Circus_S1E05_Part_2
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E05 Man's crisis of identity in the latter half of the twentieth century: Part 2.
- published: 11 Nov 2010
- views: 16464
- author: RaminPauls
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E06 Part 1
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 14:02
- Updated: 11 Aug 2013
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E06 The BBC Entry to the Zinc Stoat of Budapest Part 1 Enjoy.
http://wn.com/Monty_Python's_Flying_Circus_S1E06_Part_1
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E06 The BBC Entry to the Zinc Stoat of Budapest Part 1 Enjoy.
- published: 16 Nov 2010
- views: 16786
- author: RaminPauls
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E06 Part 2
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 15:29
- Updated: 11 Aug 2013
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E06 The BBC Entry to the Zinc Stoat of Budapest Part 2 Enjoy - Sadly I had to cut out the breast shot, its a shame i know, if ...
http://wn.com/Monty_Python's_Flying_Circus_S1E06_Part_2
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E06 The BBC Entry to the Zinc Stoat of Budapest Part 2 Enjoy - Sadly I had to cut out the breast shot, its a shame i know, if ...
- published: 16 Nov 2010
- views: 15277
- author: RaminPauls
Monty Python's Flying Circus 1x06 The Bbc Entry To The Zinc Stoat Of Budapest
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 29:31
- Updated: 15 Aug 2013
http://wn.com/Monty_Python's_Flying_Circus_1x06_The_Bbc_Entry_To_The_Zinc_Stoat_Of_Budapest
Monty Python's Flying Circus 1x07 You're No Fun Anymore
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 29:49
- Updated: 15 Aug 2013
http://wn.com/Monty_Python's_Flying_Circus_1x07_You're_No_Fun_Anymore
Monty Python's Flying Circus 1x08 Full Frontal Nudity
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 28:57
- Updated: 16 Aug 2013
http://wn.com/Monty_Python's_Flying_Circus_1x08_Full_Frontal_Nudity
Monty Python's Flying Circus 1x09 The Ant, An Introduction
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 28:43
- Updated: 11 Aug 2013
http://wn.com/Monty_Python's_Flying_Circus_1x09_The_Ant,_An_Introduction
Monty Python's Flying Circus - 1x10 - No Title
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 30:33
- Updated: 15 Aug 2013
http://wn.com/Monty_Python's_Flying_Circus_1x10_No_Title
Monty Python's Flying Circus - 1x11 - The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra Goes To The Bathroom
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 30:50
- Updated: 07 Aug 2013
http://wn.com/Monty_Python's_Flying_Circus_1x11_The_Royal_Philharmonic_Orchestra_Goes_To_The_Bathroom
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E11 Part 1
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 13:03
- Updated: 11 Aug 2013
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E11 The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra Goes To the Bathroom: Part 1 Sorry for the slow upload, been busy with school. Enjoy.
http://wn.com/Monty_Python's_Flying_Circus_S1E11_Part_1
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E11 The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra Goes To the Bathroom: Part 1 Sorry for the slow upload, been busy with school. Enjoy.
- published: 28 Nov 2010
- views: 15428
- author: RaminPauls
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E11 Part 2
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 9:47
- Updated: 21 Jul 2013
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E11 Part 2: The Philharmonic Orchestra Goes to the Bathroom . hey everyone, sorry for the late upload, i had uploaded it earli...
http://wn.com/Monty_Python's_Flying_Circus_S1E11_Part_2
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E11 Part 2: The Philharmonic Orchestra Goes to the Bathroom . hey everyone, sorry for the late upload, i had uploaded it earli...
- published: 01 Dec 2010
- views: 12005
- author: RaminPauls
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E11 Part 3
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 5:48
- Updated: 27 Jul 2013
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E11 Part 2: The Philharmonic Orchestra Goes to the Bathroom . hey everyone, unfortunately there was a fair bit of nudity in th...
http://wn.com/Monty_Python's_Flying_Circus_S1E11_Part_3
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E11 Part 2: The Philharmonic Orchestra Goes to the Bathroom . hey everyone, unfortunately there was a fair bit of nudity in th...
- published: 01 Dec 2010
- views: 10283
- author: RaminPauls
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E12 Part 1
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 13:13
- Updated: 09 Aug 2013
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E12 Part 1: The Naked Ant Enjoy :)
http://wn.com/Monty_Python's_Flying_Circus_S1E12_Part_1
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E12 Part 1: The Naked Ant Enjoy :)
- published: 02 Dec 2010
- views: 12750
- author: RaminPauls
Monty Python's flying Circus S1E12 Part 2
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 9:07
- Updated: 19 Jul 2013
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E12 Part 2: The Naked Ant Enjoy :)
http://wn.com/Monty_Python's_flying_Circus_S1E12_Part_2
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E12 Part 2: The Naked Ant Enjoy :)
- published: 02 Dec 2010
- views: 10117
- author: RaminPauls
Monty Python Flying Circus S1E12 Part 3
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 9:08
- Updated: 30 Jul 2013
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E12 Part 2: The Naked Ant Enjoy :)
http://wn.com/Monty_Python_Flying_Circus_S1E12_Part_3
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E12 Part 2: The Naked Ant Enjoy :)
- published: 02 Dec 2010
- views: 8724
- author: RaminPauls
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E13 Part 1
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 14:27
- Updated: 25 Jun 2013
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E13 Part 1: Intermission Well this is the final episode of season 1. Season 2 is coming right up. enjoy.
http://wn.com/Monty_Python's_Flying_Circus_S1E13_Part_1
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E13 Part 1: Intermission Well this is the final episode of season 1. Season 2 is coming right up. enjoy.
- published: 04 Dec 2010
- views: 11962
- author: RaminPauls
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 1 - 1 Whither Canada?
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 6:41
- Updated: 25 Jul 2013
Recorded on 7th September 1969 and first shown on 5th October 1969. * 'It's Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart' * Famous deaths * Italian lesson * Whizzo butter * 'It's...
http://wn.com/Monty_Python,_Season_1,_Episode_1_1_Whither_Canada?
Recorded on 7th September 1969 and first shown on 5th October 1969. * 'It's Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart' * Famous deaths * Italian lesson * Whizzo butter * 'It's...
- published: 22 Mar 2007
- views: 119487
- author: ESMR
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 1 - 2 Whither Canada?
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 5:20
- Updated: 16 Jul 2013
http://www.orangecow.org/pythonet/sketches/one.htm.
http://wn.com/Monty_Python,_Season_1,_Episode_1_2_Whither_Canada?
http://www.orangecow.org/pythonet/sketches/one.htm.
- published: 23 Mar 2007
- views: 67447
- author: ESMR
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 1 - 3 Whither Canada?
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 9:56
- Updated: 18 Jul 2013
yay.
http://wn.com/Monty_Python,_Season_1,_Episode_1_3_Whither_Canada?
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 1 - 4 Whither Canada?
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 9:21
- Updated: 14 Jun 2013
yep Can a german speaking person PLEASE PLEASE translate this joke?
http://wn.com/Monty_Python,_Season_1,_Episode_1_4_Whither_Canada?
yep Can a german speaking person PLEASE PLEASE translate this joke?
- published: 22 Mar 2007
- views: 75348
- author: ESMR
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 2 - 1 Sex and Violence
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 8:16
- Updated: 16 Aug 2013
Flying sheep * French lecture on sheep-aircraft * A man with three buttocks * A man with two noses * Musical mice * Marriage guidance counsellor * The wack...
http://wn.com/Monty_Python,_Season_1,_Episode_2_1_Sex_and_Violence
Flying sheep * French lecture on sheep-aircraft * A man with three buttocks * A man with two noses * Musical mice * Marriage guidance counsellor * The wack...
- published: 22 Mar 2007
- views: 81462
- author: ESMR
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 2 - 2 Sex and Violence
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 9:34
- Updated: 06 Jul 2013
yay!
http://wn.com/Monty_Python,_Season_1,_Episode_2_2_Sex_and_Violence
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 2 - 3 Sex and Violence
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 7:34
- Updated: 13 Jun 2013
http://www.orangecow.org/pythonet/sketches/one.htm.
http://wn.com/Monty_Python,_Season_1,_Episode_2_3_Sex_and_Violence
http://www.orangecow.org/pythonet/sketches/one.htm.
- published: 22 Mar 2007
- views: 41309
- author: ESMR
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 2 - 4 Sex and Violence
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 7:34
- Updated: 12 May 2013
http://www.orangecow.org/pythonet/sketches/one.htm KcSR74 sent me the site with all the scripts typed up! He also encouraged me to name the episodes and to n...
http://wn.com/Monty_Python,_Season_1,_Episode_2_4_Sex_and_Violence
http://www.orangecow.org/pythonet/sketches/one.htm KcSR74 sent me the site with all the scripts typed up! He also encouraged me to name the episodes and to n...
- published: 22 Mar 2007
- views: 34337
- author: ESMR
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 3 - 1
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 5:35
- Updated: 11 May 2013
131.
http://wn.com/Monty_Python,_Season_1,_Episode_3_1
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 3 - 2
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 4:45
- Updated: 05 May 2013
yep please boycott all other monty python uploaders! they are pure evil!
http://wn.com/Monty_Python,_Season_1,_Episode_3_2
yep please boycott all other monty python uploaders! they are pure evil!
- published: 22 Mar 2007
- views: 42310
- author: ESMR
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 3 - 3
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 7:49
- Updated: 05 May 2013
ooo episode 3 - 3 remember if it is not ESMR, its not Monty python (i dont know h ow that makes sense u figure it out)
http://wn.com/Monty_Python,_Season_1,_Episode_3_3
ooo episode 3 - 3 remember if it is not ESMR, its not Monty python (i dont know h ow that makes sense u figure it out)
- published: 22 Mar 2007
- views: 40107
- author: ESMR
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 3 - 4a
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 6:22
- Updated: 05 May 2013
wooh oo season 1 comming along nicely!
http://wn.com/Monty_Python,_Season_1,_Episode_3_4a
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 3 - 4b
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 5:23
- Updated: 05 May 2013
sorry had to split it into 2 parts id start splitting it into 3, but ive memorised 36 / 72 / 108 / rest.
http://wn.com/Monty_Python,_Season_1,_Episode_3_4b
sorry had to split it into 2 parts id start splitting it into 3, but ive memorised 36 / 72 / 108 / rest.
- published: 22 Mar 2007
- views: 29726
- author: ESMR
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 4 - 1
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 7:48
- Updated: 20 Jun 2013
yep. 141.
http://wn.com/Monty_Python,_Season_1,_Episode_4_1
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 4 - 2
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 4:57
- Updated: 05 May 2013
42.
http://wn.com/Monty_Python,_Season_1,_Episode_4_2
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 4 - 3
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 8:41
- Updated: 20 Jun 2013
i need encouraging ocmments to keep posting these!
http://wn.com/Monty_Python,_Season_1,_Episode_4_3
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 4 - 4
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 7:45
- Updated: 19 May 2013
episode FORTY FOUR! nope just four - four please post a comment! i actually read them.
http://wn.com/Monty_Python,_Season_1,_Episode_4_4
episode FORTY FOUR! nope just four - four please post a comment! i actually read them.
- published: 23 Mar 2007
- views: 31004
- author: ESMR
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 5 - 1a
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 6:45
- Updated: 03 Jul 2013
Hey, sorry about that, I saw a comment that said this video was choppy, I checked it out and turns out it is. The problem was that the video was actually 12 ...
http://wn.com/Monty_Python,_Season_1,_Episode_5_1a
Hey, sorry about that, I saw a comment that said this video was choppy, I checked it out and turns out it is. The problem was that the video was actually 12 ...
- published: 30 Mar 2007
- views: 23827
- author: ESMR
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 5 - 1b
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 5:36
- Updated: 28 Jun 2013
Second part of the seperated episode, should be working fine now, if it still isn't please send me a message. For those who didn't catch it the first time, I...
http://wn.com/Monty_Python,_Season_1,_Episode_5_1b
Second part of the seperated episode, should be working fine now, if it still isn't please send me a message. For those who didn't catch it the first time, I...
- published: 30 Mar 2007
- views: 19791
- author: ESMR
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 5 - 2
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 7:24
- Updated: 21 Jun 2013
hm.
http://wn.com/Monty_Python,_Season_1,_Episode_5_2
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 5 - 3
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 5:20
- Updated: 05 May 2013
gyhuh.
http://wn.com/Monty_Python,_Season_1,_Episode_5_3
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 5 - 4
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 4:28
- Updated: 05 May 2013
yep.
http://wn.com/Monty_Python,_Season_1,_Episode_5_4
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 6 - 1
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 7:40
- Updated: 30 Jul 2013
almost half way, 13 episodes per season.
http://wn.com/Monty_Python,_Season_1,_Episode_6_1
Monty Python's Flying Circus S4E01
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 28:06
- Updated: 08 Aug 2013
Monty Python's Flying Circus S4E01: The Golden Age of Ballooning Heres the last episode of monty python's flying circus that i had left to upload. for some r...
http://wn.com/Monty_Python's_Flying_Circus_S4E01
Monty Python's Flying Circus S4E01: The Golden Age of Ballooning Heres the last episode of monty python's flying circus that i had left to upload. for some r...
- published: 30 Apr 2011
- views: 22075
- author: RaminPauls
Monty Python's Flying Circus S4E02
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 28:43
- Updated: 30 Jul 2013
Monty Python's Flying Circus S4E02: Michael Ellis Its been a while since ive uploaded, the last episode of season 3 and the first episode of season 4 have so...
http://wn.com/Monty_Python's_Flying_Circus_S4E02
Monty Python's Flying Circus S4E02: Michael Ellis Its been a while since ive uploaded, the last episode of season 3 and the first episode of season 4 have so...
- published: 07 Mar 2011
- views: 19323
- author: RaminPauls
Monty Python's Flying Circus S4E03
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 30:10
- Updated: 18 Aug 2013
Monty Python's Family Circus S4E03: Light Entertainment War Please Enjoy :) if anyone knows of a good free movie editing program i could really use it. messa...
http://wn.com/Monty_Python's_Flying_Circus_S4E03
Monty Python's Family Circus S4E03: Light Entertainment War Please Enjoy :) if anyone knows of a good free movie editing program i could really use it. messa...
- published: 11 Mar 2011
- views: 21795
- author: RaminPauls
Monty Python's Flying Circus S4E04
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 27:23
- Updated: 13 Aug 2013
Monty Python's Family Circus S4E04: Hamlet Please Enjoy :) if anyone knows of a good free movie editing program i could really use it. message me if you have...
http://wn.com/Monty_Python's_Flying_Circus_S4E04
Monty Python's Family Circus S4E04: Hamlet Please Enjoy :) if anyone knows of a good free movie editing program i could really use it. message me if you have...
- published: 11 Mar 2011
- views: 23281
- author: RaminPauls
Monty Python's Flying Circus S4E05
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 27:35
- Updated: 11 Aug 2013
Monty Python's Flying Circus S4E05: Mr. Neutron if anyone knows of a good free movie editing program i could really use it. message me if you have one. Pleas...
http://wn.com/Monty_Python's_Flying_Circus_S4E05
Monty Python's Flying Circus S4E05: Mr. Neutron if anyone knows of a good free movie editing program i could really use it. message me if you have one. Pleas...
- published: 17 Mar 2011
- views: 24335
- author: RaminPauls
Monty Python's Flying Circus S4E06
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 28:13
- Updated: 11 Aug 2013
Monty Python's Flying Circus S4E06: Party Political Broadcast This is the last episode of Monty Python's Flying Circus made. please enjoy. I still have 2 mor...
http://wn.com/Monty_Python's_Flying_Circus_S4E06
Monty Python's Flying Circus S4E06: Party Political Broadcast This is the last episode of Monty Python's Flying Circus made. please enjoy. I still have 2 mor...
- published: 21 Mar 2011
- views: 21512
- author: RaminPauls
Silly Job Interview - Monty Python
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 4:06
- Updated: 19 Aug 2013
Sketch do episódio 5: "Man's Crisis Of Identity In The Latter Half Of The Twentieth Century" do Flying Circus legendado.
http://wn.com/Silly_Job_Interview_Monty_Python
Sketch do episódio 5: "Man's Crisis Of Identity In The Latter Half Of The Twentieth Century" do Flying Circus legendado.
- published: 15 Jul 2006
- views: 4462307
- author: Leandro MansoN Silva
MONTY PYTHON REUNION Interview 2013
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 4:08
- Updated: 22 Nov 2013
The python team try some SPAM sandwiches
And Now For Something Completely Different
Monty Python (sometimes known as The Pythons) are a British surreal comedy group that created Monty Python's Flying Circus, a British television comedy sketch show that first aired on the BBC on 5 October 1969. Forty-five episodes were made over four series. The Python phenomenon developed from the television series into something larger in scope and impact, spawning touring stage shows, films, numerous albums, several books and a stage musical as well as launching the members to individual stardom. The group's influence on comedy has been compared to The Beatles' influence on music.[4][5][6]
The television series, broadcast by the BBC from 1969 to 1974, was conceived, written and performed by members Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, and Michael Palin. Loosely structured as a sketch show, but with an innovative stream-of-consciousness approach (aided by Gilliam's animation), it pushed the boundaries of what was acceptable in style and content.[7][8] A self-contained comedy team responsible for both writing and performing their work, the Pythons' creative control allowed them to experiment with form and content, discarding rules of television comedy. Their influence on British comedy has been apparent for years, while in North America it has coloured the work of cult performers from the early editions of Saturday Night Live through to more recent absurdist trends in television comedy. "Pythonesque" has entered the English lexicon as a result.
In a 2005 UK poll to find The Comedian's Comedian, three of the six Pythons members were voted by fellow comedians and comedy insiders to be among the top 50 greatest comedians ever: Cleese at #2, Idle at #21, and Palin at #30
http://wn.com/MONTY_PYTHON_REUNION_Interview_2013
The python team try some SPAM sandwiches
And Now For Something Completely Different
Monty Python (sometimes known as The Pythons) are a British surreal comedy group that created Monty Python's Flying Circus, a British television comedy sketch show that first aired on the BBC on 5 October 1969. Forty-five episodes were made over four series. The Python phenomenon developed from the television series into something larger in scope and impact, spawning touring stage shows, films, numerous albums, several books and a stage musical as well as launching the members to individual stardom. The group's influence on comedy has been compared to The Beatles' influence on music.[4][5][6]
The television series, broadcast by the BBC from 1969 to 1974, was conceived, written and performed by members Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, and Michael Palin. Loosely structured as a sketch show, but with an innovative stream-of-consciousness approach (aided by Gilliam's animation), it pushed the boundaries of what was acceptable in style and content.[7][8] A self-contained comedy team responsible for both writing and performing their work, the Pythons' creative control allowed them to experiment with form and content, discarding rules of television comedy. Their influence on British comedy has been apparent for years, while in North America it has coloured the work of cult performers from the early editions of Saturday Night Live through to more recent absurdist trends in television comedy. "Pythonesque" has entered the English lexicon as a result.
In a 2005 UK poll to find The Comedian's Comedian, three of the six Pythons members were voted by fellow comedians and comedy insiders to be among the top 50 greatest comedians ever: Cleese at #2, Idle at #21, and Palin at #30
- published: 22 Nov 2013
- views: 108
Monty Python reunion press conference 2013 - full and unedited
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 33:05
- Updated: 21 Nov 2013
The surviving members of comedy pioneers Monty Python assemble in London to launch their reunion and announce a new live stage show.
Michael Palin, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, Terry Gilliam and John Cleese announced their first new project for three decades on the 21st of November 2013.
Check out our channel http://www.youtube.com/absoluteradio
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http://wn.com/Monty_Python_reunion_press_conference_2013_full_and_unedited
The surviving members of comedy pioneers Monty Python assemble in London to launch their reunion and announce a new live stage show.
Michael Palin, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, Terry Gilliam and John Cleese announced their first new project for three decades on the 21st of November 2013.
Check out our channel http://www.youtube.com/absoluteradio
Subscribe http://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=absoluteradio
Find us on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/absoluteradio
And follow us on Twitter http://www.twitter.com/absoluteradio
Listen to Absolute Radio at http://www.absoluteradio.co.uk/listen
- published: 21 Nov 2013
- views: 206
Friday Night, Saturday Morning - Monty Python's Life of Brian
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 66:20
- Updated: 17 Aug 2013
Just one of the most beautiful moments in televisual history.
http://wn.com/Friday_Night,_Saturday_Morning_Monty_Python's_Life_of_Brian
Just one of the most beautiful moments in televisual history.
- published: 06 Nov 2011
- views: 97710
- author: smearpeep Tony
Life Of Brian- 1979 Debate (1/4)
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 14:56
- Updated: 19 Aug 2013
The full debate from "Friday Night, Saturday Morning", 9th November 1979. On the edition of 9 November 1979, hosted by Tim Rice, a discussion was held about ...
http://wn.com/Life_Of_Brian_1979_Debate_1_4
The full debate from "Friday Night, Saturday Morning", 9th November 1979. On the edition of 9 November 1979, hosted by Tim Rice, a discussion was held about ...
- published: 30 Oct 2011
- views: 619008
- author: nir0bateman
Monty Python Reunion - The Graham Norton Show
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 6:55
- Updated: 01 Jan 2014
Broadcast on 31 December 2013
http://wn.com/Monty_Python_Reunion_The_Graham_Norton_Show
Broadcast on 31 December 2013
- published: 01 Jan 2014
- views: 936
Monty Python - Rare Interview from 1973
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 6:12
- Updated: 15 Aug 2013
The regional news program "Look North" from 23 May 1973 featured a news report from the Monty Python team as they were touring around the country with the Mo...
http://wn.com/Monty_Python_Rare_Interview_from_1973
The regional news program "Look North" from 23 May 1973 featured a news report from the Monty Python team as they were touring around the country with the Mo...
- published: 24 Oct 2009
- views: 36319
- author: Andrew Peel
Keith Olbermann Interviews Monty Python Members On Their 40th Anniversary
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 10:43
- Updated: 20 Aug 2012
http://wn.com/Keith_Olbermann_Interviews_Monty_Python_Members_On_Their_40th_Anniversary
Monty Python on Public TV in 1975
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 13:57
- Updated: 14 Jul 2013
KERA-TV in Dallas was the first PBS station to broadcast Monty Python's Flying Circus, and it was the Pythons' first stop in the US after the premier of Mont...
http://wn.com/Monty_Python_on_Public_TV_in_1975
KERA-TV in Dallas was the first PBS station to broadcast Monty Python's Flying Circus, and it was the Pythons' first stop in the US after the premier of Mont...
- published: 02 Mar 2006
- views: 167690
- author: Jesse Thorn
Monty Python 1998 Interview by Robert Klein
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 7:01
- Updated: 02 Aug 2013
Monty Python Receives an Award From the AFI.
http://wn.com/Monty_Python_1998_Interview_by_Robert_Klein
Monty Python Receives an Award From the AFI.
- published: 23 Mar 2008
- views: 99547
- author: einsteindude1993
The Life of Brian defended by Monty Python's John Cleese and Michael Palin.COMPLETE DEBATE
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 24:34
- Updated: 19 Aug 2013
The Life of Brian defended by Monty Python, John Cleese and Michael Palin. COMPLETE DEBATEThe two successful shorter snippets joined together in one complete...
http://wn.com/The_Life_of_Brian_defended_by_Monty_Python's_John_Cleese_and_Michael_PalinCOMPLETE_DEBATE
The Life of Brian defended by Monty Python, John Cleese and Michael Palin. COMPLETE DEBATEThe two successful shorter snippets joined together in one complete...
- published: 13 Jan 2013
- views: 21605
- author: lowcoststart
Monty Python - Pythons on Eric Idle
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 3:56
- Updated: 09 Aug 2013
Pythons & others talk about EI.
http://wn.com/Monty_Python_Pythons_on_Eric_Idle
Monty Python Reunites!
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 4:20
- Updated: 08 Oct 2013
John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle, Terry Jones and Michael Palin reunite 30 years on to talk about The Meaning of Life, comedy, fish and their own mortality.
See the whole 60-Minute Python Reunion Exclusively on MONTY PYTHON'S THE MEANING OF LIFE 30th Anniversary Blu-ray Edition
http://wn.com/Monty_Python_Reunites!
John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle, Terry Jones and Michael Palin reunite 30 years on to talk about The Meaning of Life, comedy, fish and their own mortality.
See the whole 60-Minute Python Reunion Exclusively on MONTY PYTHON'S THE MEANING OF LIFE 30th Anniversary Blu-ray Edition
- published: 08 Oct 2013
- views: 24183
Terry Gilliam & Terry Jones Monty Python Interview
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 4:16
- Updated: 08 Aug 2013
To celebrate the launch of the Monty Python-inspired Facebook Game The MInistry of Silly Games, AskMen sat down with two of comedy's original pioneers Terry ...
http://wn.com/Terry_Gilliam_Terry_Jones_Monty_Python_Interview
To celebrate the launch of the Monty Python-inspired Facebook Game The MInistry of Silly Games, AskMen sat down with two of comedy's original pioneers Terry ...
- published: 14 Feb 2011
- views: 14256
- author: AskMenUK
Monty Python's Graham Chapman: Final Interview
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 3:33
- Updated: 15 Aug 2013
Probably the last known interview of Monty Python star Graham Chapman. He died in late 1989. It's amazing how optimistic this interview was, considering how ...
http://wn.com/Monty_Python's_Graham_Chapman_Final_Interview
Probably the last known interview of Monty Python star Graham Chapman. He died in late 1989. It's amazing how optimistic this interview was, considering how ...
- published: 11 Mar 2007
- views: 251202
- author: despondentisthmus
Why I Love Monty Python
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 5:26
- Updated: 05 Aug 2013
Monty Python's Flying Circus http://www.amazon.com/Complete-Monty-Pythons-Flying-Circus/dp/B001E77XNA/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s;=dvd&qid;=1226597796&sr;=1-1.
http://wn.com/Why_I_Love_Monty_Python
Monty Python's Flying Circus http://www.amazon.com/Complete-Monty-Pythons-Flying-Circus/dp/B001E77XNA/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s;=dvd&qid;=1226597796&sr;=1-1.
- published: 17 Jan 2009
- views: 597146
- author: MontyPython
The Holy Grail - The "Making Of" by BBC. Part 1
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 8:42
- Updated: 17 Aug 2013
Part 1 of the entire BBC production "Monty Python And The Holy Grail Location Report" (1974).
http://wn.com/The_Holy_Grail_The_Making_Of_by_BBC_Part_1
Part 1 of the entire BBC production "Monty Python And The Holy Grail Location Report" (1974).
- published: 21 Jul 2008
- views: 19084
- author: dim1309
Monty Python's Palin, Gilliam And Cleese On Reuniting 22/11/2013
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 3:18
- Updated: 22 Nov 2013
22/11/2013
Monty Python's Palin, Gilliam and Cleese on reuniting
The surviving members of Monty Python have been speaking about their decision to reunite on stage for the first time in more than 30 years.
According to Michael Palin he "didn't need any persuading" and Terry Gilliam believes the "planets were in the right position".
However John Cleese has admitted he needs to "fill in the large hole" in his finances.
The trio were speaking to the BBC's Arts Editor Will Gompertz.
http://wn.com/Monty_Python's_Palin,_Gilliam_And_Cleese_On_Reuniting_22_11_2013
22/11/2013
Monty Python's Palin, Gilliam and Cleese on reuniting
The surviving members of Monty Python have been speaking about their decision to reunite on stage for the first time in more than 30 years.
According to Michael Palin he "didn't need any persuading" and Terry Gilliam believes the "planets were in the right position".
However John Cleese has admitted he needs to "fill in the large hole" in his finances.
The trio were speaking to the BBC's Arts Editor Will Gompertz.
- published: 22 Nov 2013
- views: 84
Monty Python - Silliest Interview We've Ever Done
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 2:08
- Updated: 16 Aug 2013
This is the silliest sketch I've ever been in.
http://wn.com/Monty_Python_Silliest_Interview_We've_Ever_Done
![Monty Python's Flying Circus - Silly Job Interview [Remastered] [Subtitulado] [HD]](http://web.archive.org./web/20140608080020im_/http://i.ytimg.com/vi/QjHCXcwpcvE/0.jpg "Monty Python's Flying Circus - Silly Job Interview [Remastered] [Subtitulado] [HD]")
Monty Python's Flying Circus - Silly Job Interview [Remastered] [Subtitulado] [HD]
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 4:07
- Updated: 16 Aug 2013
Sily Job Interview sketch by Monty Python's Flying Circus!
http://wn.com/Monty_Python's_Flying_Circus_Silly_Job_Interview_Remastered_Subtitulado_HD_
Sily Job Interview sketch by Monty Python's Flying Circus!
- published: 20 Apr 2012
- views: 33203
- author: Maximiliano Blitzkrieg
Monty Python 1998 Interview by Robert Klein
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 2:09
- Updated: 04 Aug 2013
The title.Chapman's ashes were "accidentally" spilled - the person responsible for upsetting the urn was Gilliam.
http://wn.com/Monty_Python_1998_Interview_by_Robert_Klein
The title.Chapman's ashes were "accidentally" spilled - the person responsible for upsetting the urn was Gilliam.
- published: 23 Mar 2008
- views: 46574
- author: einsteindude1993
Monty Python: Cast Interview
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 30:16
- Updated: 05 May 2014
Join the original Monty Pythons Michael Palin, Terry Jones, Terry Gilliam and Special Guest Carol Cleveland as they introduce and discuss their first official app.
http://wn.com/Monty_Python_Cast_Interview
Join the original Monty Pythons Michael Palin, Terry Jones, Terry Gilliam and Special Guest Carol Cleveland as they introduce and discuss their first official app.
- published: 05 May 2014
- views: 13
Monty Python's flying circus - Interview and salesman
- Order: Reorder
- Duration: 6:11
- Updated: 18 Jul 2013
from mpfc 01x05 best skit ever.
http://wn.com/Monty_Python's_flying_circus_Interview_and_salesman
4 min 3 sec
P!nk - Just Give Me A Reason ft. Nate Ruess
From the Grammy Nominated album The Truth About Love available now - http://smarturl.it/ta...
published: 08 Jun 2014
P!nk - Just Give Me A Reason ft. Nate Ruess
P!nk - Just Give Me A Reason ft. Nate Ruess
From the Grammy Nominated album The Truth About Love available now - http://smarturl.it/tal Music video by P!nk featuring Nate Ruess performing Just Give Me A Reason. (C) 2012 RCA Records, a division of Sony Music Entertainment- published: 08 Jun 2014
3 min 53 sec
MACKLEMORE & RYAN LEWIS - THRIFT SHOP FEAT. WANZ (OFFICIAL VIDEO)
Thrift Shop on iTunes: http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/thrift-shop-feat.-wanz-single/id55...
published: 08 Jun 2014
MACKLEMORE & RYAN LEWIS - THRIFT SHOP FEAT. WANZ (OFFICIAL VIDEO)
MACKLEMORE & RYAN LEWIS - THRIFT SHOP FEAT. WANZ (OFFICIAL VIDEO)
Thrift Shop on iTunes: http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/thrift-shop-feat.-wanz-single/id556955707 The Heist physical deluxe edition: http://www.macklemoremerch.com The Heist digital deluxe on iTunes: http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum?id=560097651 The Heist on Amazon: http://amzn.com/B00908DDZM The Heist in-stores NOW! Credits: VIDEO Directed By Jon Jon Augustavo, Ryan Lewis, Ben Haggerty Produced By Hollis Wong-Wear, Tricia Davis, Zach Quillen Lead Grip: David Herberg Grip Assistants: Josh Marten, Jay Neilson Stylists: Annie Murphy, Alex Nordstrom MUSIC Written by Ben Haggerty Produced by Ryan Lewis Featuring Wanz Additional vocals by Brooklyn Grinnell Scratches by DV One SPECIAL THANKS TO Goodwill Outlet Value Village Capitol Hill Red Light Vintage Fremont Vintage Mall Unicorn/Narwhal Northwest African American Museum Sara Stapleton, JR Ewing and Inner City Empire, Faisal Jaswal, Clay Davis http://www.macklemore.com http://www.twitter.com/macklemore http://www.twitter.com/ryanlewis http://www.facebook.com/macklemore http://www.facebook.com/ryanlewisproductions- published: 08 Jun 2014
2 min 22 sec
Janet Devlin's audition - The X Factor 2011 - itv.com/xfactor
The X Factor: Incredibly nervous 16-year-old Janet has flown over from the depths of Irela...
published: 08 Jun 2014
Janet Devlin's audition - The X Factor 2011 - itv.com/xfactor
Janet Devlin's audition - The X Factor 2011 - itv.com/xfactor
The X Factor: Incredibly nervous 16-year-old Janet has flown over from the depths of Ireland to be at her audition. Living in a tiny village in the middle of nowhere has meant that she spends a lot of time on her own, using her songwriting abilities as a form of escapism. She's not sung in public before due to her lack of confidence, but she's managed to summon some courage to perform today. One look at the judges' faces proves that her trip to England wasn't wasted. Incredibly nervous 16-year-old Janet has flown over from the depths of Ireland to be at her audition. Living in a tiny village in the middle of nowhere has meant that she spends a lot of time on her own, using her songwriting abilities as a form of escapism. She's not sung in public before due to her lack of confidence, but she's managed to summon some courage to perform today. One look at the judges' faces proves that her trip to England wasn't wasted. See more at http://itv.com/xfactor- published: 08 Jun 2014
4 min 27 sec
Eminem - Love The Way You Lie ft. Rihanna
Music video by Eminem performing Love The Way You Lie. © 2010 Aftermath Records
#VEVOCerti...
published: 08 Jun 2014
Eminem - Love The Way You Lie ft. Rihanna
Eminem - Love The Way You Lie ft. Rihanna
Music video by Eminem performing Love The Way You Lie. © 2010 Aftermath Records #VEVOCertified on September 13, 2011. http://www.vevo.com/certified http://www.youtube.com/vevocertified- published: 08 Jun 2014
2 min 15 sec
Mortal Kombat Legacy Season 2 Trailer
Watch Season 1 of Mortal Kombat Legacy here: http://www.youtube.com/channel/SWVkIoQKmEa4I ...
published: 08 Jun 2014
Mortal Kombat Legacy Season 2 Trailer
Mortal Kombat Legacy Season 2 Trailer
Watch Season 1 of Mortal Kombat Legacy here: http://www.youtube.com/channel/SWVkIoQKmEa4I The Mortal Kombat Legacy continues in Season 2 as Liu Kang, Kung Lao, Kenshi, and Ermac join the ranks. The rivalries and histories of these fierce warriors will unfold as Raiden and his recruits clash against the dark forces of Outworld. The epic battle for Earthrealm has finally begun. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - FOR MACHINIMA'S BEST HIGH QUALITY SERIES, GO TO: http://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=machinimaprime FOR MORE MACHINIMA, GO TO: http://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=machinima FOR MORE GAMEPLAY, GO TO: http://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=machinimarespawn FOR MORE SPORTS GAMEPLAY, GO TO: http://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=machinimasports FOR MORE MMO & RPG GAMEPLAY, GO TO: http://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=machinimarealm FOR MORE COMPETITIVE GAMING, GO TO: http://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=machinimavs FOR MORE ANIMATIONS & SHORTS, GO TO: http://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=happyhour FOR MORE TRAILERS, GO TO: http://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=machinimatrailer WANT TO JOIN THE MACHINIMA AFFILIATE PROGRAM? FILL OUT AN APPLICATION HERE: Link: http://bit.ly/13ACBHg- published: 08 Jun 2014
7 min 35 sec
Draw My Life - Ryan Higa
So i was pretty hesitant to make this video... but after all of your request, here is my D...
published: 08 Jun 2014
Draw My Life - Ryan Higa
Draw My Life - Ryan Higa
So i was pretty hesitant to make this video... but after all of your request, here is my Draw My Life video! Check out my 2nd Channel for more vlogs: http://www.youtube.com/higatv Follow me on TWITTER for more useless stuff about me http://www.twitter.com/therealryanhiga Like my FACEBOOK page if you're into that sorta stuff http://www.facebook.com/higatv Oh and here is MY SITE... Get teehee merch here if ya want!: http://www.higatv.com OR see some boring pics of me on INSTAGRAM! http://www.instagram.com/notryanhiga- published: 08 Jun 2014
4 min 19 sec
Eminem - Not Afraid
Music video by Eminem performing Not Afraid. (C) 2010 Aftermath Records
#VEVOCertified on ...
published: 08 Jun 2014
Eminem - Not Afraid
Eminem - Not Afraid
Music video by Eminem performing Not Afraid. (C) 2010 Aftermath Records #VEVOCertified on September 11, 2010.http://www.vevo.com/certified http://www.youtube.com/vevocertified- published: 08 Jun 2014
2 min 42 sec
Assassin's Creed Meets Parkour in Real Life
Watch the Behind The Scenes in this link below:
http://youtu.be/36CLFOyaml0
Make sure to ...
published: 08 Jun 2014
Assassin's Creed Meets Parkour in Real Life
Assassin's Creed Meets Parkour in Real Life
Watch the Behind The Scenes in this link below: http://youtu.be/36CLFOyaml0 Make sure to subscribe to this channel for new vids each week! http://youtube.com/devinsupertramp Parkour/Free Running stunts performed by Ronnie Shalvis. Make sure to check out his youtube channel and facebook page! http://youtube.com/ronniestreetstunts https://www.facebook.com/ronniestreetstunts My friend Stephen Anderson wrote the music for this video! http://www.stephenjanderson.com Download the song off of iTunes in this link: http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/parkour-creed-single/id557349442 The AWESOME costume was made by my friend Allison Dredge! Make sure to check out her facebook page, and make sure to tell her she should work with me again! :) :) https://www.facebook.com/allisondredgecostumes My friend Jared Moench did the visual effects shot of Ronnie/Altair jumping from the building, contact him in this link: missionmoench@gmail.com And for other special thanks for helping film with the green screen: Creigton Baird Brianna Campbell They have a street team of free runners/parkour performers, as well as a dance crew, and bmx crew. Check them out in the link below! http://www.ensoulcollab.com This was shot all on a Canon 5D Mark III, and a Glidecam HD 2000. http://www.glidecam.com/ And last but not least, make sure to follow me on twitter and facebook, it's the cool thing to do these days :) https://www.facebook.com/devinsupertrampyoutube http://twitter.com/devinsupertramp For business enquires ONLY, contact me here: devinsupertramp@gmail.com- published: 08 Jun 2014
4 min 31 sec
P!nk - Try (The Truth About Love - Live From Los Angeles)
Music video by P!nk performing Try (The Truth About Love - Live From Los Angeles). (C) 201...
published: 08 Jun 2014
P!nk - Try (The Truth About Love - Live From Los Angeles)
P!nk - Try (The Truth About Love - Live From Los Angeles)
Music video by P!nk performing Try (The Truth About Love - Live From Los Angeles). (C) 2012 RCA Records, a division of Sony Music Entertainment- published: 08 Jun 2014
4 min 8 sec
Rihanna - Stay ft. Mikky Ekko
Download "Stay" from Unapologetic now: http://smarturl.it/UnapologeticDlx
Music video by R...
published: 08 Jun 2014
Rihanna - Stay ft. Mikky Ekko
Rihanna - Stay ft. Mikky Ekko
Download "Stay" from Unapologetic now: http://smarturl.it/UnapologeticDlx Music video by Rihanna performing Stay ft. Mikky Ekko. © 2013 The Island Def Jam Music Group- published: 08 Jun 2014
3 min 54 sec
Adele - Rolling In The Deep
Music video by Adele performing Rolling In The Deep. (C) 2010 XL Recordings Ltd.
#VEVOCer...
published: 08 Jun 2014
Adele - Rolling In The Deep
Adele - Rolling In The Deep
Music video by Adele performing Rolling In The Deep. (C) 2010 XL Recordings Ltd. #VEVOCertified on July 25, 2011. http://www.vevo.com/certified http://www.youtube.com/vevocertified- published: 08 Jun 2014
5 min 8 sec
Why Selena Broke Up With Justin
For you nosy people, this is the reason why Selena Gomez broke up with Justin Bieber.
Get ...
published: 08 Jun 2014
Why Selena Broke Up With Justin
Why Selena Broke Up With Justin
For you nosy people, this is the reason why Selena Gomez broke up with Justin Bieber. Get the song on iTunes: http://bit.ly/T74XEZ Andy Lange produced the music, see how in his Making the Music vid: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sO2FV5KJGVo Subscribe to Andy's channel: http://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=andylangemusic Also Thank you to Greg and Will, make sure you follow them! http://www.twitter.com/slopsmcgee http://www.twitter.com/willshayhan Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/higatv Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/therealryanhiga Website: http://www.higatv.com 2nd YT Channel: http://www.youtube.com/higatv- published: 08 Jun 2014
Vimeo results:
2:31
Eclectic Method - Monty Python
Monty Python is coming back, time for the remix surely?
http://www.youtube.com/user/MontyP...
published: 02 Jan 2014
author: Eclectic Method
Eclectic Method - Monty Python
Monty Python is coming back, time for the remix surely?
http://www.youtube.com/user/MontyPython
http://www.eclecticmethod.net
3:19
monty python - the bright side
monty python...
published: 03 Sep 2009
author: tiniyah
monty python - the bright side
monty python
0:58
Monty Python's- Spamalot Game Intro
And now for something completely different!
An intro clip we created for the Monty Python...
published: 19 Feb 2013
author: Argaman Creative
Monty Python's- Spamalot Game Intro
And now for something completely different!
An intro clip we created for the Monty Python's Spamalot online video slot,
based on the Spamalot musical and the Holy Grail art.
Conceptualized, Produced and Directed by Argaman Creative
for Playtech.
Concept art by Monty Python
Game designed and created by Playtech
Join us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArgamanCreative
Visit our homepage: http://www.argamancreative.com
2:32
A Liar's Autobiography - The Untrue Story of Monty Python's Graham Chapman
We were one of fourteen animation studios that directed sections of the feature length ste...
published: 18 Feb 2013
author: Peepshow Collective
A Liar's Autobiography - The Untrue Story of Monty Python's Graham Chapman
We were one of fourteen animation studios that directed sections of the feature length stereoscopic 3D film based on the memoir of Monty Python's Graham Chapman.
Our section is perhaps one of the only truly autobiographical sections in which Graham's dad collected body parts after a plane crash during the Second World War and is voiced by Graham Chapman, Terry Jones and Michael Palin.
2 min 50 sec
Nice Guys
Behind the Scenes at
http://www.youtube.com/higatv
Two losers take a "how to pick up girl...
published: 08 Jun 2014
Nice Guys
Nice Guys
Behind the Scenes at http://www.youtube.com/higatv Two losers take a "how to pick up girls" class and realize that Nice Guys finish last which results in the ultimate douches. Get "Nice Guys" on iTunes! http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/nice-guys-single/id441177425 Subscribe to these lovely people: Chester See (Check out Chester's Version) http://www.youtube.com/chestersee Kevjumba (Check out Kev's Version) http://www.youtube.com/kevjumba Dtrix http://www.youtube.com/thedominicshow Cathy Nguyen http://www.youtube.com/lilcdawg Kina Grannis http://www.youtube.com/kinagrannis Andy Lange recorded and produced the music. See how he did it in his "Making the Music" video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oifnuRe8LFI Be sure to subscribe to Andy's channel! http://www.youtube.com/andylangemusic Subscribe to Justin! Filmed and Edited by Justin Safaei http://www.youtube.com/jsafaei- published: 08 Jun 2014
3 min 17 sec
Jack Sparrow (feat. Michael Bolton)
Buy at iTunes: http://goo.gl/zv4o9. New album on sale now! http://turtleneckandchain.com...
published: 08 Jun 2014
Jack Sparrow (feat. Michael Bolton)
Jack Sparrow (feat. Michael Bolton)
Buy at iTunes: http://goo.gl/zv4o9. New album on sale now! http://turtleneckandchain.com- published: 08 Jun 2014
3 min 50 sec
Rihanna - Take A Bow
Music video by Rihanna performing Take A Bow. YouTube view counts pre-VEVO: 66,288,884. (C...
published: 08 Jun 2014
Rihanna - Take A Bow
Rihanna - Take A Bow
Music video by Rihanna performing Take A Bow. YouTube view counts pre-VEVO: 66,288,884. (C) 2008 The Island Def Jam Music Group.- published: 08 Jun 2014
4 min 0 sec
James Arthur sings Shontelle's Impossible - The Final - The X Factor UK 2012
Watch judges' comments at http://itv.com/XFactor (UK ONLY)
Watch James Arthur sing Imposs...
published: 08 Jun 2014
James Arthur sings Shontelle's Impossible - The Final - The X Factor UK 2012
James Arthur sings Shontelle's Impossible - The Final - The X Factor UK 2012
Watch judges' comments at http://itv.com/XFactor (UK ONLY) Watch James Arthur sing Impossible by Shontelle Sweeeeet! As potential Winner's Singles go, this one is a corker. Watch as James Arthur gets his sexy on with yet another sizzling, show-stopping performance. Seeing as he always delivers, it's high time we started calling him the milkman! SUBSCRIBE: http://bit.ly/TXFSub Facebook: http://bit.ly/TXFFB Twitter: http://bit.ly/TXFTwi Buy Live Tour Tickets: bit.ly/T3LeU1 Watch full episodes on ITV Player (UK ONLY): http://bit.ly/TXFPla- published: 08 Jun 2014
4 min 38 sec
Rihanna - Rehab ft. Justin Timberlake
Music video by Rihanna performing Rehab. YouTube view counts pre-VEVO: 19,591,123. (C) 200...
published: 08 Jun 2014
Rihanna - Rehab ft. Justin Timberlake
Rihanna - Rehab ft. Justin Timberlake
Music video by Rihanna performing Rehab. YouTube view counts pre-VEVO: 19,591,123. (C) 2007 The Island Def Jam Music Group- published: 08 Jun 2014
3 min 47 sec
Bromance (Official Music Video)
Get the song at: http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/bromance-single/id512264961
Music an...
published: 08 Jun 2014
Bromance (Official Music Video)
Bromance (Official Music Video)
Get the song at: http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/bromance-single/id512264961 Music and Lyrics by Chester See (The Singer) http://www.youtube.com/chestersee Check out Chester's acoustic version! http://youtu.be/VMFHZv7jGfc Andy Lange produced the music http://www.youtube.com/andylangemusic See how in his Making the Music video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LUmxmQMVWA Justin Safaei (cinematographer) http://www.youtubecom/jsafaei Sean Fujiyoshi Wayne Brady Andrew Garcia Dtrix Wong Fu Lana Abdul Charlie Too many to name + MUCH MORE Find me on: Twitter http://www.twitter.com/TheRealRyanHiga Facebook http://www.facebook.com/HigaTV Website http://www.higatv.com 2nd Channel http://www.youtube.com/higatv *LYRICS Verse 1 Its like Eminem and Dr. Dre If I loved you more I might be gay And when I'm feeling down You know just what to say You my homie, Yeah you know me And if you ever need a wingman I'd let any girl blow me off Cus you're more important than the rest I confess, I'm a mess If I'm not hanging with my BFF You know its true, you my male boo, Now sing the chorus with me if you're feeling the same way too. Chorus Bromance, nothing really gay about it Not, that there's anything wrong with being gay Bromance, SHouldn't be ashamed or hide it I love you in the most heterosexual way. Verse 2 Hold me To a promise that I"ll be the kind of the friend that in the end Will always keep you company Because when the world gets tough And times get hard I will always love you, I'll be your bodyguard Cus you're my bestie, and if you test me I'll prove it time and time again, I got your back until the end A brotha from anotha motha never knew how much I loved ya Till i started singing this song... huh? Chorus Bromance, nothing really gay about it Not, that there's anything wrong with being gay Bromance, SHouldn't be ashamed or hide it I love you in the most heterosexual way. Bridge Now that I told you how I feel Hope you feel the same way too BUT if you dont, this song was just a joke BUT if you do, I LOVE YOU Chorus Bromance, nothing really gay about it Not, that there's anything wrong with being gay Bromance, SHouldn't be ashamed or hide it I love you in the most heterosexual way.- published: 08 Jun 2014
4 min 5 sec
P!nk - Just Give Me A Reason (Official Lyric Video)
The Truth About Love available on iTunes NOW http://smarturl.it/tal
Music video by P!nk p...
published: 08 Jun 2014
P!nk - Just Give Me A Reason (Official Lyric Video)
P!nk - Just Give Me A Reason (Official Lyric Video)
The Truth About Love available on iTunes NOW http://smarturl.it/tal Music video by P!nk performing Just Give Me A Reason. (C) 2012 RCA Records, a division of Sony Music Entertainment- published: 08 Jun 2014
3 min 8 sec
3-Way (The Golden Rule) (feat. Justin Timberlake & Lady Gaga)
Buy on iTunes: http://goo.gl/ZCft1
Originally aired May 21, 2011
Footage courtesy of NBC ...
published: 08 Jun 2014
3-Way (The Golden Rule) (feat. Justin Timberlake & Lady Gaga)
3-Way (The Golden Rule) (feat. Justin Timberlake & Lady Gaga)
Buy on iTunes: http://goo.gl/ZCft1 Originally aired May 21, 2011 Footage courtesy of NBC for promotional use only.- published: 08 Jun 2014
4 min 58 sec
Rihanna - Hate That I Love You ft. Ne-Yo
Music video by Rihanna performing Hate That I Love You. YouTube view counts pre-VEVO: 57,2...
published: 08 Jun 2014
Rihanna - Hate That I Love You ft. Ne-Yo
Rihanna - Hate That I Love You ft. Ne-Yo
Music video by Rihanna performing Hate That I Love You. YouTube view counts pre-VEVO: 57,208,048. (C) 2007 The Island Def Jam Music Group- published: 08 Jun 2014
3 min 3 sec
Man of Steel - Official Trailer 3 [HD]
http://manofsteel.com
http://www.facebook.com/manofsteel
In theaters June 14th.
From Warn...
published: 08 Jun 2014
Man of Steel - Official Trailer 3 [HD]
Man of Steel - Official Trailer 3 [HD]
http://manofsteel.com http://www.facebook.com/manofsteel In theaters June 14th. From Warner Bros. and Legendary Pictures comes "Man of Steel", starring Henry Cavill, directed by Zach Snyder. The film also stars Amy Adams, Diane Lane, Kevin Costner, Michael Shannon, Russell Crowe, Antje Traue, Ayelet Zurer, Henry Lennix, Christopher Meloni and Laurence Fishburne.- published: 08 Jun 2014
4 min 6 sec
David Guetta - Titanium ft. Sia
Buy "Titanium" ft Sia on iTunes here: http://www.smarturl.it/GuettaTitanium
Buy David Gu...
published: 08 Jun 2014
David Guetta - Titanium ft. Sia
David Guetta - Titanium ft. Sia
Buy "Titanium" ft Sia on iTunes here: http://www.smarturl.it/GuettaTitanium Buy David Guetta's hit album "Nothing But the Beat" feat the hit singles "Where Them Girls At" feat Flo Rida + Nicki Minaj, "Without You" feat Usher and the new single "Turn Me On" feat Nicki Minaj: http://bit.ly/pBKIii Follow David: https://twitter.com/davidguetta https://www.facebook.com/DavidGuetta http://www.davidguetta.com/ Music video by David Guetta performing Titanium. (C) 2012 What a Music Ltd / EMI Music France, licence exclusive EMI Music France- published: 08 Jun 2014
Vimeo results:
2:31
Eclectic Method - Monty Python
Monty Python is coming back, time for the remix surely?
http://www.youtube.com/user/MontyP...
published: 02 Jan 2014
author: Eclectic Method
Eclectic Method - Monty Python
Monty Python is coming back, time for the remix surely?
http://www.youtube.com/user/MontyPython
http://www.eclecticmethod.net
3:19
monty python - the bright side
monty python...
published: 03 Sep 2009
author: tiniyah
monty python - the bright side
monty python
0:58
Monty Python's- Spamalot Game Intro
And now for something completely different!
An intro clip we created for the Monty Python...
published: 19 Feb 2013
author: Argaman Creative
Monty Python's- Spamalot Game Intro
And now for something completely different!
An intro clip we created for the Monty Python's Spamalot online video slot,
based on the Spamalot musical and the Holy Grail art.
Conceptualized, Produced and Directed by Argaman Creative
for Playtech.
Concept art by Monty Python
Game designed and created by Playtech
Join us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArgamanCreative
Visit our homepage: http://www.argamancreative.com
2:32
A Liar's Autobiography - The Untrue Story of Monty Python's Graham Chapman
We were one of fourteen animation studios that directed sections of the feature length ste...
published: 18 Feb 2013
author: Peepshow Collective
A Liar's Autobiography - The Untrue Story of Monty Python's Graham Chapman
We were one of fourteen animation studios that directed sections of the feature length stereoscopic 3D film based on the memoir of Monty Python's Graham Chapman.
Our section is perhaps one of the only truly autobiographical sections in which Graham's dad collected body parts after a plane crash during the Second World War and is voiced by Graham Chapman, Terry Jones and Michael Palin.
2 min 54 sec
Shy Ronnie 2: Ronnie & Clyde (feat. Rihanna)
Buy at iTunes: http://goo.gl/zv4o9. New album on sale now! http://turtleneckandchain.com
...
published: 08 Jun 2014
Shy Ronnie 2: Ronnie & Clyde (feat. Rihanna)
Shy Ronnie 2: Ronnie & Clyde (feat. Rihanna)
Buy at iTunes: http://goo.gl/zv4o9. New album on sale now! http://turtleneckandchain.com Originally aired October 30, 2010 Footage courtesy of NBC for promotional use only.- published: 08 Jun 2014
2 min 56 sec
I Just Had Sex (feat. Akon)
Buy at iTunes: http://goo.gl/zv4o9. New album on sale now! http://www.turtleneckandchain.c...
published: 08 Jun 2014
I Just Had Sex (feat. Akon)
I Just Had Sex (feat. Akon)
Buy at iTunes: http://goo.gl/zv4o9. New album on sale now! http://www.turtleneckandchain.com T-shirts! http://www.thelonelyisland.com/store The first single of The Lonely Island's 2nd album!!! Featuring Akon, Jessica Alba, Blake Lively and John McEnroe! The Lonely Island is Andy Samberg, Akiva Schaffer & Jorma Taccone. Twitter: @thelonelyisland- published: 08 Jun 2014
4 min 24 sec
Rihanna - Russian Roulette
Music video by Rihanna performing Russian Roulette. (C) 2009 The Island Def Jam Music Grou...
published: 08 Jun 2014
Rihanna - Russian Roulette
Rihanna - Russian Roulette
Music video by Rihanna performing Russian Roulette. (C) 2009 The Island Def Jam Music Group- published: 08 Jun 2014
Vimeo results:
2:31
Eclectic Method - Monty Python
Monty Python is coming back, time for the remix surely?
http://www.youtube.com/user/MontyP...
published: 02 Jan 2014
author: Eclectic Method
Eclectic Method - Monty Python
Monty Python is coming back, time for the remix surely?
http://www.youtube.com/user/MontyPython
http://www.eclecticmethod.net
3:19
monty python - the bright side
monty python...
published: 03 Sep 2009
author: tiniyah
monty python - the bright side
monty python
0:58
Monty Python's- Spamalot Game Intro
And now for something completely different!
An intro clip we created for the Monty Python...
published: 19 Feb 2013
author: Argaman Creative
Monty Python's- Spamalot Game Intro
And now for something completely different!
An intro clip we created for the Monty Python's Spamalot online video slot,
based on the Spamalot musical and the Holy Grail art.
Conceptualized, Produced and Directed by Argaman Creative
for Playtech.
Concept art by Monty Python
Game designed and created by Playtech
Join us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArgamanCreative
Visit our homepage: http://www.argamancreative.com
2:32
A Liar's Autobiography - The Untrue Story of Monty Python's Graham Chapman
We were one of fourteen animation studios that directed sections of the feature length ste...
published: 18 Feb 2013
author: Peepshow Collective
A Liar's Autobiography - The Untrue Story of Monty Python's Graham Chapman
We were one of fourteen animation studios that directed sections of the feature length stereoscopic 3D film based on the memoir of Monty Python's Graham Chapman.
Our section is perhaps one of the only truly autobiographical sections in which Graham's dad collected body parts after a plane crash during the Second World War and is voiced by Graham Chapman, Terry Jones and Michael Palin.
Vimeo results:
2:31
Eclectic Method - Monty Python
Monty Python is coming back, time for the remix surely?
http://www.youtube.com/user/MontyP...
published: 02 Jan 2014
author: Eclectic Method
Eclectic Method - Monty Python
Monty Python is coming back, time for the remix surely?
http://www.youtube.com/user/MontyPython
http://www.eclecticmethod.net
3:19
monty python - the bright side
monty python...
published: 03 Sep 2009
author: tiniyah
monty python - the bright side
monty python
0:58
Monty Python's- Spamalot Game Intro
And now for something completely different!
An intro clip we created for the Monty Python...
published: 19 Feb 2013
author: Argaman Creative
Monty Python's- Spamalot Game Intro
And now for something completely different!
An intro clip we created for the Monty Python's Spamalot online video slot,
based on the Spamalot musical and the Holy Grail art.
Conceptualized, Produced and Directed by Argaman Creative
for Playtech.
Concept art by Monty Python
Game designed and created by Playtech
Join us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArgamanCreative
Visit our homepage: http://www.argamancreative.com
2:32
A Liar's Autobiography - The Untrue Story of Monty Python's Graham Chapman
We were one of fourteen animation studios that directed sections of the feature length ste...
published: 18 Feb 2013
author: Peepshow Collective
A Liar's Autobiography - The Untrue Story of Monty Python's Graham Chapman
We were one of fourteen animation studios that directed sections of the feature length stereoscopic 3D film based on the memoir of Monty Python's Graham Chapman.
Our section is perhaps one of the only truly autobiographical sections in which Graham's dad collected body parts after a plane crash during the Second World War and is voiced by Graham Chapman, Terry Jones and Michael Palin.
30:54
Monty Python's Flying Circus 1x03 How To Recognise Different Types Of Trees From Quite A Long Wa
...
published: 08 Mar 2011
author: Mau M
Monty Python's Flying Circus 1x03 How To Recognise Different Types Of Trees From Quite A Long Wa
Monty Python's Flying Circus 1x03 How To Recognise Different Types Of Trees From Quite A Long Wa
- published: 08 Mar 2011
- views: 74366
- author: Mau M
11:16
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E04 Part 1
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E04 Owl Stretching Time Part 1....
published: 08 Nov 2010
author: RaminPauls
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E04 Part 1
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E04 Part 1
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E04 Owl Stretching Time Part 1.- published: 08 Nov 2010
- views: 20310
- author: RaminPauls
8:53
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E04 Part 2
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E04 Owl Stretching Time Part 2....
published: 08 Nov 2010
author: RaminPauls
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E04 Part 2
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E04 Part 2
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E04 Owl Stretching Time Part 2.- published: 08 Nov 2010
- views: 15675
- author: RaminPauls
15:19
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E05 Part 1
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E05 Man's crisis of identity in the latter half of the twen...
published: 11 Nov 2010
author: RaminPauls
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E05 Part 1
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E05 Part 1
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E05 Man's crisis of identity in the latter half of the twentieth century: Part 1.- published: 11 Nov 2010
- views: 20092
- author: RaminPauls
13:35
Monty Python`s Flying Circus S1E05 Part 2
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E05 Man's crisis of identity in the latter half of the twen...
published: 11 Nov 2010
author: RaminPauls
Monty Python`s Flying Circus S1E05 Part 2
Monty Python`s Flying Circus S1E05 Part 2
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E05 Man's crisis of identity in the latter half of the twentieth century: Part 2.- published: 11 Nov 2010
- views: 16464
- author: RaminPauls
14:02
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E06 Part 1
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E06 The BBC Entry to the Zinc Stoat of Budapest Part 1 Enjo...
published: 16 Nov 2010
author: RaminPauls
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E06 Part 1
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E06 Part 1
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E06 The BBC Entry to the Zinc Stoat of Budapest Part 1 Enjoy.- published: 16 Nov 2010
- views: 16786
- author: RaminPauls
15:29
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E06 Part 2
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E06 The BBC Entry to the Zinc Stoat of Budapest Part 2 Enjo...
published: 16 Nov 2010
author: RaminPauls
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E06 Part 2
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E06 Part 2
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E06 The BBC Entry to the Zinc Stoat of Budapest Part 2 Enjoy - Sadly I had to cut out the breast shot, its a shame i know, if ...- published: 16 Nov 2010
- views: 15277
- author: RaminPauls
29:31
Monty Python's Flying Circus 1x06 The Bbc Entry To The Zinc Stoat Of Budapest
...
published: 15 May 2011
author: Mau M
Monty Python's Flying Circus 1x06 The Bbc Entry To The Zinc Stoat Of Budapest
Monty Python's Flying Circus 1x06 The Bbc Entry To The Zinc Stoat Of Budapest
- published: 15 May 2011
- views: 29226
- author: Mau M
Vimeo results:
2:31
Eclectic Method - Monty Python
Monty Python is coming back, time for the remix surely?
http://www.youtube.com/user/MontyP...
published: 02 Jan 2014
author: Eclectic Method
Eclectic Method - Monty Python
Monty Python is coming back, time for the remix surely?
http://www.youtube.com/user/MontyPython
http://www.eclecticmethod.net
3:19
monty python - the bright side
monty python...
published: 03 Sep 2009
author: tiniyah
monty python - the bright side
monty python
0:58
Monty Python's- Spamalot Game Intro
And now for something completely different!
An intro clip we created for the Monty Python...
published: 19 Feb 2013
author: Argaman Creative
Monty Python's- Spamalot Game Intro
And now for something completely different!
An intro clip we created for the Monty Python's Spamalot online video slot,
based on the Spamalot musical and the Holy Grail art.
Conceptualized, Produced and Directed by Argaman Creative
for Playtech.
Concept art by Monty Python
Game designed and created by Playtech
Join us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArgamanCreative
Visit our homepage: http://www.argamancreative.com
2:32
A Liar's Autobiography - The Untrue Story of Monty Python's Graham Chapman
We were one of fourteen animation studios that directed sections of the feature length ste...
published: 18 Feb 2013
author: Peepshow Collective
A Liar's Autobiography - The Untrue Story of Monty Python's Graham Chapman
We were one of fourteen animation studios that directed sections of the feature length stereoscopic 3D film based on the memoir of Monty Python's Graham Chapman.
Our section is perhaps one of the only truly autobiographical sections in which Graham's dad collected body parts after a plane crash during the Second World War and is voiced by Graham Chapman, Terry Jones and Michael Palin.
Youtube results:
30:50
Monty Python's Flying Circus - 1x11 - The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra Goes To The Bathroom
...
published: 11 Mar 2012
author: Mau M
Monty Python's Flying Circus - 1x11 - The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra Goes To The Bathroom
Monty Python's Flying Circus - 1x11 - The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra Goes To The Bathroom
- published: 11 Mar 2012
- views: 13763
- author: Mau M
13:03
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E11 Part 1
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E11 The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra Goes To the Bathroom: ...
published: 28 Nov 2010
author: RaminPauls
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E11 Part 1
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E11 Part 1
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E11 The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra Goes To the Bathroom: Part 1 Sorry for the slow upload, been busy with school. Enjoy.- published: 28 Nov 2010
- views: 15428
- author: RaminPauls
9:47
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E11 Part 2
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E11 Part 2: The Philharmonic Orchestra Goes to the Bathroom...
published: 01 Dec 2010
author: RaminPauls
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E11 Part 2
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E11 Part 2
Monty Python's Flying Circus S1E11 Part 2: The Philharmonic Orchestra Goes to the Bathroom . hey everyone, sorry for the late upload, i had uploaded it earli...- published: 01 Dec 2010
- views: 12005
- author: RaminPauls
6:41
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 1 - 1 Whither Canada?
Recorded on 7th September 1969 and first shown on 5th October 1969. * 'It's Wolfgang Amade...
published: 22 Mar 2007
author: ESMR
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 1 - 1 Whither Canada?
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 1 - 1 Whither Canada?
Recorded on 7th September 1969 and first shown on 5th October 1969. * 'It's Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart' * Famous deaths * Italian lesson * Whizzo butter * 'It's...- published: 22 Mar 2007
- views: 119487
- author: ESMR
5:20
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 1 - 2 Whither Canada?
http://www.orangecow.org/pythonet/sketches/one.htm....
published: 23 Mar 2007
author: ESMR
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 1 - 2 Whither Canada?
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 1 - 2 Whither Canada?
http://www.orangecow.org/pythonet/sketches/one.htm.- published: 23 Mar 2007
- views: 67447
- author: ESMR
9:21
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 1 - 4 Whither Canada?
yep Can a german speaking person PLEASE PLEASE translate this joke?...
published: 22 Mar 2007
author: ESMR
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 1 - 4 Whither Canada?
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 1 - 4 Whither Canada?
yep Can a german speaking person PLEASE PLEASE translate this joke?- published: 22 Mar 2007
- views: 75348
- author: ESMR
8:16
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 2 - 1 Sex and Violence
Flying sheep * French lecture on sheep-aircraft * A man with three buttocks * A man with t...
published: 22 Mar 2007
author: ESMR
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 2 - 1 Sex and Violence
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 2 - 1 Sex and Violence
Flying sheep * French lecture on sheep-aircraft * A man with three buttocks * A man with two noses * Musical mice * Marriage guidance counsellor * The wack...- published: 22 Mar 2007
- views: 81462
- author: ESMR
7:34
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 2 - 3 Sex and Violence
http://www.orangecow.org/pythonet/sketches/one.htm....
published: 22 Mar 2007
author: ESMR
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 2 - 3 Sex and Violence
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 2 - 3 Sex and Violence
http://www.orangecow.org/pythonet/sketches/one.htm.- published: 22 Mar 2007
- views: 41309
- author: ESMR
7:34
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 2 - 4 Sex and Violence
http://www.orangecow.org/pythonet/sketches/one.htm KcSR74 sent me the site with all the sc...
published: 22 Mar 2007
author: ESMR
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 2 - 4 Sex and Violence
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 2 - 4 Sex and Violence
http://www.orangecow.org/pythonet/sketches/one.htm KcSR74 sent me the site with all the scripts typed up! He also encouraged me to name the episodes and to n...- published: 22 Mar 2007
- views: 34337
- author: ESMR
4:45
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 3 - 2
yep please boycott all other monty python uploaders! they are pure evil!...
published: 22 Mar 2007
author: ESMR
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 3 - 2
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 3 - 2
yep please boycott all other monty python uploaders! they are pure evil!- published: 22 Mar 2007
- views: 42310
- author: ESMR
7:49
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 3 - 3
ooo episode 3 - 3 remember if it is not ESMR, its not Monty python (i dont know h ow that ...
published: 22 Mar 2007
author: ESMR
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 3 - 3
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 3 - 3
ooo episode 3 - 3 remember if it is not ESMR, its not Monty python (i dont know h ow that makes sense u figure it out)- published: 22 Mar 2007
- views: 40107
- author: ESMR
5:23
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 3 - 4b
sorry had to split it into 2 parts id start splitting it into 3, but ive memorised 36 / 72...
published: 22 Mar 2007
author: ESMR
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 3 - 4b
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 3 - 4b
sorry had to split it into 2 parts id start splitting it into 3, but ive memorised 36 / 72 / 108 / rest.- published: 22 Mar 2007
- views: 29726
- author: ESMR
Vimeo results:
2:31
Eclectic Method - Monty Python
Monty Python is coming back, time for the remix surely?
http://www.youtube.com/user/MontyP...
published: 02 Jan 2014
author: Eclectic Method
Eclectic Method - Monty Python
Monty Python is coming back, time for the remix surely?
http://www.youtube.com/user/MontyPython
http://www.eclecticmethod.net
3:19
monty python - the bright side
monty python...
published: 03 Sep 2009
author: tiniyah
monty python - the bright side
monty python
0:58
Monty Python's- Spamalot Game Intro
And now for something completely different!
An intro clip we created for the Monty Python...
published: 19 Feb 2013
author: Argaman Creative
Monty Python's- Spamalot Game Intro
And now for something completely different!
An intro clip we created for the Monty Python's Spamalot online video slot,
based on the Spamalot musical and the Holy Grail art.
Conceptualized, Produced and Directed by Argaman Creative
for Playtech.
Concept art by Monty Python
Game designed and created by Playtech
Join us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArgamanCreative
Visit our homepage: http://www.argamancreative.com
2:32
A Liar's Autobiography - The Untrue Story of Monty Python's Graham Chapman
We were one of fourteen animation studios that directed sections of the feature length ste...
published: 18 Feb 2013
author: Peepshow Collective
A Liar's Autobiography - The Untrue Story of Monty Python's Graham Chapman
We were one of fourteen animation studios that directed sections of the feature length stereoscopic 3D film based on the memoir of Monty Python's Graham Chapman.
Our section is perhaps one of the only truly autobiographical sections in which Graham's dad collected body parts after a plane crash during the Second World War and is voiced by Graham Chapman, Terry Jones and Michael Palin.
Youtube results:
8:41
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 4 - 3
i need encouraging ocmments to keep posting these!...
published: 22 Mar 2007
author: ESMR
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 4 - 3
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 4 - 3
i need encouraging ocmments to keep posting these!- published: 22 Mar 2007
- views: 28841
- author: ESMR
7:45
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 4 - 4
episode FORTY FOUR! nope just four - four please post a comment! i actually read them....
published: 23 Mar 2007
author: ESMR
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 4 - 4
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 4 - 4
episode FORTY FOUR! nope just four - four please post a comment! i actually read them.- published: 23 Mar 2007
- views: 31004
- author: ESMR
6:45
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 5 - 1a
Hey, sorry about that, I saw a comment that said this video was choppy, I checked it out a...
published: 30 Mar 2007
author: ESMR
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 5 - 1a
Monty Python, Season 1, Episode 5 - 1a
Hey, sorry about that, I saw a comment that said this video was choppy, I checked it out and turns out it is. The problem was that the video was actually 12 ...- published: 30 Mar 2007
- views: 23827
- author: ESMR
Vimeo results:
2:31
Eclectic Method - Monty Python
Monty Python is coming back, time for the remix surely?
http://www.youtube.com/user/MontyP...
published: 02 Jan 2014
author: Eclectic Method
Eclectic Method - Monty Python
Monty Python is coming back, time for the remix surely?
http://www.youtube.com/user/MontyPython
http://www.eclecticmethod.net
3:19
monty python - the bright side
monty python...
published: 03 Sep 2009
author: tiniyah
monty python - the bright side
monty python
0:58
Monty Python's- Spamalot Game Intro
And now for something completely different!
An intro clip we created for the Monty Python...
published: 19 Feb 2013
author: Argaman Creative
Monty Python's- Spamalot Game Intro
And now for something completely different!
An intro clip we created for the Monty Python's Spamalot online video slot,
based on the Spamalot musical and the Holy Grail art.
Conceptualized, Produced and Directed by Argaman Creative
for Playtech.
Concept art by Monty Python
Game designed and created by Playtech
Join us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArgamanCreative
Visit our homepage: http://www.argamancreative.com
2:32
A Liar's Autobiography - The Untrue Story of Monty Python's Graham Chapman
We were one of fourteen animation studios that directed sections of the feature length ste...
published: 18 Feb 2013
author: Peepshow Collective
A Liar's Autobiography - The Untrue Story of Monty Python's Graham Chapman
We were one of fourteen animation studios that directed sections of the feature length stereoscopic 3D film based on the memoir of Monty Python's Graham Chapman.
Our section is perhaps one of the only truly autobiographical sections in which Graham's dad collected body parts after a plane crash during the Second World War and is voiced by Graham Chapman, Terry Jones and Michael Palin.
28:06
Monty Python's Flying Circus S4E01
Monty Python's Flying Circus S4E01: The Golden Age of Ballooning Heres the last episode of...
published: 30 Apr 2011
author: RaminPauls
Monty Python's Flying Circus S4E01
Monty Python's Flying Circus S4E01
Monty Python's Flying Circus S4E01: The Golden Age of Ballooning Heres the last episode of monty python's flying circus that i had left to upload. for some r...- published: 30 Apr 2011
- views: 22075
- author: RaminPauls
28:43
Monty Python's Flying Circus S4E02
Monty Python's Flying Circus S4E02: Michael Ellis Its been a while since ive uploaded, the...
published: 07 Mar 2011
author: RaminPauls
Monty Python's Flying Circus S4E02
Monty Python's Flying Circus S4E02
Monty Python's Flying Circus S4E02: Michael Ellis Its been a while since ive uploaded, the last episode of season 3 and the first episode of season 4 have so...- published: 07 Mar 2011
- views: 19323
- author: RaminPauls
30:10
Monty Python's Flying Circus S4E03
Monty Python's Family Circus S4E03: Light Entertainment War Please Enjoy :) if anyone know...
published: 11 Mar 2011
author: RaminPauls
Monty Python's Flying Circus S4E03
Monty Python's Flying Circus S4E03
Monty Python's Family Circus S4E03: Light Entertainment War Please Enjoy :) if anyone knows of a good free movie editing program i could really use it. messa...- published: 11 Mar 2011
- views: 21795
- author: RaminPauls
27:23
Monty Python's Flying Circus S4E04
Monty Python's Family Circus S4E04: Hamlet Please Enjoy :) if anyone knows of a good free ...
published: 11 Mar 2011
author: RaminPauls
Monty Python's Flying Circus S4E04
Monty Python's Flying Circus S4E04
Monty Python's Family Circus S4E04: Hamlet Please Enjoy :) if anyone knows of a good free movie editing program i could really use it. message me if you have...- published: 11 Mar 2011
- views: 23281
- author: RaminPauls
27:35
Monty Python's Flying Circus S4E05
Monty Python's Flying Circus S4E05: Mr. Neutron if anyone knows of a good free movie editi...
published: 17 Mar 2011
author: RaminPauls
Monty Python's Flying Circus S4E05
Monty Python's Flying Circus S4E05
Monty Python's Flying Circus S4E05: Mr. Neutron if anyone knows of a good free movie editing program i could really use it. message me if you have one. Pleas...- published: 17 Mar 2011
- views: 24335
- author: RaminPauls
28:13
Monty Python's Flying Circus S4E06
Monty Python's Flying Circus S4E06: Party Political Broadcast This is the last episode of ...
published: 21 Mar 2011
author: RaminPauls
Monty Python's Flying Circus S4E06
Monty Python's Flying Circus S4E06
Monty Python's Flying Circus S4E06: Party Political Broadcast This is the last episode of Monty Python's Flying Circus made. please enjoy. I still have 2 mor...- published: 21 Mar 2011
- views: 21512
- author: RaminPauls
Vimeo results:
2:31
Eclectic Method - Monty Python
Monty Python is coming back, time for the remix surely?
http://www.youtube.com/user/MontyP...
published: 02 Jan 2014
author: Eclectic Method
Eclectic Method - Monty Python
Monty Python is coming back, time for the remix surely?
http://www.youtube.com/user/MontyPython
http://www.eclecticmethod.net
3:19
monty python - the bright side
monty python...
published: 03 Sep 2009
author: tiniyah
monty python - the bright side
monty python
0:58
Monty Python's- Spamalot Game Intro
And now for something completely different!
An intro clip we created for the Monty Python...
published: 19 Feb 2013
author: Argaman Creative
Monty Python's- Spamalot Game Intro
And now for something completely different!
An intro clip we created for the Monty Python's Spamalot online video slot,
based on the Spamalot musical and the Holy Grail art.
Conceptualized, Produced and Directed by Argaman Creative
for Playtech.
Concept art by Monty Python
Game designed and created by Playtech
Join us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArgamanCreative
Visit our homepage: http://www.argamancreative.com
2:32
A Liar's Autobiography - The Untrue Story of Monty Python's Graham Chapman
We were one of fourteen animation studios that directed sections of the feature length ste...
published: 18 Feb 2013
author: Peepshow Collective
A Liar's Autobiography - The Untrue Story of Monty Python's Graham Chapman
We were one of fourteen animation studios that directed sections of the feature length stereoscopic 3D film based on the memoir of Monty Python's Graham Chapman.
Our section is perhaps one of the only truly autobiographical sections in which Graham's dad collected body parts after a plane crash during the Second World War and is voiced by Graham Chapman, Terry Jones and Michael Palin.
4:06
Silly Job Interview - Monty Python
Sketch do episódio 5: "Man's Crisis Of Identity In The Latter Half Of The Twentieth Centur...
published: 15 Jul 2006
author: Leandro MansoN Silva
Silly Job Interview - Monty Python
Silly Job Interview - Monty Python
Sketch do episódio 5: "Man's Crisis Of Identity In The Latter Half Of The Twentieth Century" do Flying Circus legendado.- published: 15 Jul 2006
- views: 4462307
- author: Leandro MansoN Silva
4:08
MONTY PYTHON REUNION Interview 2013
The python team try some SPAM sandwiches
And Now For Something Completely Different
Mont...
published: 22 Nov 2013
MONTY PYTHON REUNION Interview 2013
MONTY PYTHON REUNION Interview 2013
The python team try some SPAM sandwiches And Now For Something Completely Different Monty Python (sometimes known as The Pythons) are a British surreal comedy group that created Monty Python's Flying Circus, a British television comedy sketch show that first aired on the BBC on 5 October 1969. Forty-five episodes were made over four series. The Python phenomenon developed from the television series into something larger in scope and impact, spawning touring stage shows, films, numerous albums, several books and a stage musical as well as launching the members to individual stardom. The group's influence on comedy has been compared to The Beatles' influence on music.[4][5][6] The television series, broadcast by the BBC from 1969 to 1974, was conceived, written and performed by members Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, and Michael Palin. Loosely structured as a sketch show, but with an innovative stream-of-consciousness approach (aided by Gilliam's animation), it pushed the boundaries of what was acceptable in style and content.[7][8] A self-contained comedy team responsible for both writing and performing their work, the Pythons' creative control allowed them to experiment with form and content, discarding rules of television comedy. Their influence on British comedy has been apparent for years, while in North America it has coloured the work of cult performers from the early editions of Saturday Night Live through to more recent absurdist trends in television comedy. "Pythonesque" has entered the English lexicon as a result. In a 2005 UK poll to find The Comedian's Comedian, three of the six Pythons members were voted by fellow comedians and comedy insiders to be among the top 50 greatest comedians ever: Cleese at #2, Idle at #21, and Palin at #30- published: 22 Nov 2013
- views: 108
33:05
Monty Python reunion press conference 2013 - full and unedited
The surviving members of comedy pioneers Monty Python assemble in London to launch their r...
published: 21 Nov 2013
Monty Python reunion press conference 2013 - full and unedited
Monty Python reunion press conference 2013 - full and unedited
The surviving members of comedy pioneers Monty Python assemble in London to launch their reunion and announce a new live stage show. Michael Palin, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, Terry Gilliam and John Cleese announced their first new project for three decades on the 21st of November 2013. Check out our channel http://www.youtube.com/absoluteradio Subscribe http://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=absoluteradio Find us on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/absoluteradio And follow us on Twitter http://www.twitter.com/absoluteradio Listen to Absolute Radio at http://www.absoluteradio.co.uk/listen- published: 21 Nov 2013
- views: 206
66:20
Friday Night, Saturday Morning - Monty Python's Life of Brian
Just one of the most beautiful moments in televisual history....
published: 06 Nov 2011
author: smearpeep Tony
Friday Night, Saturday Morning - Monty Python's Life of Brian
Friday Night, Saturday Morning - Monty Python's Life of Brian
Just one of the most beautiful moments in televisual history.- published: 06 Nov 2011
- views: 97710
- author: smearpeep Tony
14:56
Life Of Brian- 1979 Debate (1/4)
The full debate from "Friday Night, Saturday Morning", 9th November 1979. On the edition o...
published: 30 Oct 2011
author: nir0bateman
Life Of Brian- 1979 Debate (1/4)
Life Of Brian- 1979 Debate (1/4)
The full debate from "Friday Night, Saturday Morning", 9th November 1979. On the edition of 9 November 1979, hosted by Tim Rice, a discussion was held about ...- published: 30 Oct 2011
- views: 619008
- author: nir0bateman
6:12
Monty Python - Rare Interview from 1973
The regional news program "Look North" from 23 May 1973 featured a news report from the Mo...
published: 24 Oct 2009
author: Andrew Peel
Monty Python - Rare Interview from 1973
Monty Python - Rare Interview from 1973
The regional news program "Look North" from 23 May 1973 featured a news report from the Monty Python team as they were touring around the country with the Mo...- published: 24 Oct 2009
- views: 36319
- author: Andrew Peel
10:43
Keith Olbermann Interviews Monty Python Members On Their 40th Anniversary
...
published: 17 Aug 2012
author: Fred Ferkleheimer
Keith Olbermann Interviews Monty Python Members On Their 40th Anniversary
Keith Olbermann Interviews Monty Python Members On Their 40th Anniversary
- published: 17 Aug 2012
- views: 297
- author: Fred Ferkleheimer
13:57
Monty Python on Public TV in 1975
KERA-TV in Dallas was the first PBS station to broadcast Monty Python's Flying Circus, and...
published: 02 Mar 2006
author: Jesse Thorn
Monty Python on Public TV in 1975
Monty Python on Public TV in 1975
KERA-TV in Dallas was the first PBS station to broadcast Monty Python's Flying Circus, and it was the Pythons' first stop in the US after the premier of Mont...- published: 02 Mar 2006
- views: 167690
- author: Jesse Thorn
7:01
Monty Python 1998 Interview by Robert Klein
Monty Python Receives an Award From the AFI....
published: 23 Mar 2008
author: einsteindude1993
Monty Python 1998 Interview by Robert Klein
Monty Python 1998 Interview by Robert Klein
Monty Python Receives an Award From the AFI.- published: 23 Mar 2008
- views: 99547
- author: einsteindude1993
24:34
The Life of Brian defended by Monty Python's John Cleese and Michael Palin.COMPLETE DEBATE
The Life of Brian defended by Monty Python, John Cleese and Michael Palin. COMPLETE DEBATE...
published: 13 Jan 2013
author: lowcoststart
The Life of Brian defended by Monty Python's John Cleese and Michael Palin.COMPLETE DEBATE
The Life of Brian defended by Monty Python's John Cleese and Michael Palin.COMPLETE DEBATE
The Life of Brian defended by Monty Python, John Cleese and Michael Palin. COMPLETE DEBATEThe two successful shorter snippets joined together in one complete...- published: 13 Jan 2013
- views: 21605
- author: lowcoststart
3:56
Monty Python - Pythons on Eric Idle
Pythons & others talk about EI....
published: 18 May 2010
author: TheBellTolls666
Monty Python - Pythons on Eric Idle
Monty Python - Pythons on Eric Idle
Pythons & others talk about EI.- published: 18 May 2010
- views: 39371
- author: TheBellTolls666
4:20
Monty Python Reunites!
John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle, Terry Jones and Michael Palin reunite 30 years on t...
published: 08 Oct 2013
Monty Python Reunites!
Monty Python Reunites!
John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle, Terry Jones and Michael Palin reunite 30 years on to talk about The Meaning of Life, comedy, fish and their own mortality. See the whole 60-Minute Python Reunion Exclusively on MONTY PYTHON'S THE MEANING OF LIFE 30th Anniversary Blu-ray Edition- published: 08 Oct 2013
- views: 24183
4:16
Terry Gilliam & Terry Jones Monty Python Interview
To celebrate the launch of the Monty Python-inspired Facebook Game The MInistry of Silly G...
published: 14 Feb 2011
author: AskMenUK
Terry Gilliam & Terry Jones Monty Python Interview
Terry Gilliam & Terry Jones Monty Python Interview
To celebrate the launch of the Monty Python-inspired Facebook Game The MInistry of Silly Games, AskMen sat down with two of comedy's original pioneers Terry ...- published: 14 Feb 2011
- views: 14256
- author: AskMenUK
Vimeo results:
2:31
Eclectic Method - Monty Python
Monty Python is coming back, time for the remix surely?
http://www.youtube.com/user/MontyP...
published: 02 Jan 2014
author: Eclectic Method
Eclectic Method - Monty Python
Monty Python is coming back, time for the remix surely?
http://www.youtube.com/user/MontyPython
http://www.eclecticmethod.net
3:19
monty python - the bright side
monty python...
published: 03 Sep 2009
author: tiniyah
monty python - the bright side
monty python
0:58
Monty Python's- Spamalot Game Intro
And now for something completely different!
An intro clip we created for the Monty Python...
published: 19 Feb 2013
author: Argaman Creative
Monty Python's- Spamalot Game Intro
And now for something completely different!
An intro clip we created for the Monty Python's Spamalot online video slot,
based on the Spamalot musical and the Holy Grail art.
Conceptualized, Produced and Directed by Argaman Creative
for Playtech.
Concept art by Monty Python
Game designed and created by Playtech
Join us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArgamanCreative
Visit our homepage: http://www.argamancreative.com
2:32
A Liar's Autobiography - The Untrue Story of Monty Python's Graham Chapman
We were one of fourteen animation studios that directed sections of the feature length ste...
published: 18 Feb 2013
author: Peepshow Collective
A Liar's Autobiography - The Untrue Story of Monty Python's Graham Chapman
We were one of fourteen animation studios that directed sections of the feature length stereoscopic 3D film based on the memoir of Monty Python's Graham Chapman.
Our section is perhaps one of the only truly autobiographical sections in which Graham's dad collected body parts after a plane crash during the Second World War and is voiced by Graham Chapman, Terry Jones and Michael Palin.
Youtube results:
3:33
Monty Python's Graham Chapman: Final Interview
Probably the last known interview of Monty Python star Graham Chapman. He died in late 198...
published: 11 Mar 2007
author: despondentisthmus
Monty Python's Graham Chapman: Final Interview
Monty Python's Graham Chapman: Final Interview
Probably the last known interview of Monty Python star Graham Chapman. He died in late 1989. It's amazing how optimistic this interview was, considering how ...- published: 11 Mar 2007
- views: 251202
- author: despondentisthmus
5:26
Why I Love Monty Python
Monty Python's Flying Circus http://www.amazon.com/Complete-Monty-Pythons-Flying-Circus/dp...
published: 17 Jan 2009
author: MontyPython
Why I Love Monty Python
Why I Love Monty Python
Monty Python's Flying Circus http://www.amazon.com/Complete-Monty-Pythons-Flying-Circus/dp/B001E77XNA/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s;=dvd&qid;=1226597796&sr;=1-1.- published: 17 Jan 2009
- views: 597146
- author: MontyPython
8:42
The Holy Grail - The "Making Of" by BBC. Part 1
Part 1 of the entire BBC production "Monty Python And The Holy Grail Location Report" (197...
published: 21 Jul 2008
author: dim1309
The Holy Grail - The "Making Of" by BBC. Part 1
The Holy Grail - The "Making Of" by BBC. Part 1
Part 1 of the entire BBC production "Monty Python And The Holy Grail Location Report" (1974).- published: 21 Jul 2008
- views: 19084
- author: dim1309
3:18
Monty Python's Palin, Gilliam And Cleese On Reuniting 22/11/2013
22/11/2013
Monty Python's Palin, Gilliam and Cleese on reuniting
The surviving members o...
published: 22 Nov 2013
Monty Python's Palin, Gilliam And Cleese On Reuniting 22/11/2013
Monty Python's Palin, Gilliam And Cleese On Reuniting 22/11/2013
22/11/2013 Monty Python's Palin, Gilliam and Cleese on reuniting The surviving members of Monty Python have been speaking about their decision to reunite on stage for the first time in more than 30 years. According to Michael Palin he "didn't need any persuading" and Terry Gilliam believes the "planets were in the right position". However John Cleese has admitted he needs to "fill in the large hole" in his finances. The trio were speaking to the BBC's Arts Editor Will Gompertz.- published: 22 Nov 2013
- views: 84
photo: AP / Peter Morrison
05 Jun 2014
The Catholic Church in Ireland is facing fresh accusations of child neglect after a researcher found records for 796 youngsters believed to be buried in a mass grave beside a former orphanage for the children of unwed mothers in Tuam, Co Galway ... County Galway death records showed that the children, mostly babies and toddlers, died often of sickness or disease in the orphanage during the 35 years it operated from 1926 to 1961 ... ... ....(size: 8.6Kb)
photo: Creative Commons / Thomas Lersch
06 Jun 2014
There's a lot of bad stuff in the world for sure. But let's all take a minute to consider just how lucky we are that chimps don't look particularly good in business attire. If they did, we might be working for them. Chimps are way stronger than we are, of course, and studies have shown that their short-term memory is superior--just look at this video ... In short, the idea is to get the reward by outwitting your opponent ... Scary, huh? ... ....(size: 3.3Kb)
photo: AP / Andy Kropa
07 Jun 2014
Every time Meryl and Maks reunite, their fans go crazy! The Dancing with the Stars partners have not been together every single day since winning the Mirror Ball Trophy, but that means when they do get together, it's that much more special ... According to Mail Online, the "friends" recently got "cozy" on a "dinner date."....(size: 1.4Kb)
photo: AP / Moncton Times & Transcript, Ron Ward via The Canadian Press
05 Jun 2014
photo: Creative Commons / David Shankbone
07 Jun 2014
NEW BRUNSWICK, N.J. – Actor and comedian Tracy Morgan was in intensive care Saturday after the limousine bus he was riding in was involved in a multi-vehicle accident on the New Jersey Turnpike, state police said ... Saturday, Sgt. First Class Greg Williams told The Associated Press. Williams said one person died in the crash that occurred in the northbound lanes of the turnpike near mile marker 71.5 ... ....(size: 2.0Kb)
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The Daily Telegraph
08 Jun 2014
Related Articles. Climate change science has become 'blind' to green bias 16 May 2014. Clive James. spare me TV's climate change experts 08 May 2014. Bush fires destroy dozens of houses in Australia's south east 10 Feb 2014. Australians flee deadly wildfire so fierce 'it is creating own weather' 17 Jan 2014 ... The husband of the family was firefighting and his eyelids actually fused together ... Gary Kayes ... NEWS ... Monty Python's 25 funniest lines ... ....(size: 10.2Kb)
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Skynews
07 Jun 2014
Terry Gilliam explains how his new Opera has benefited from a little Monty Python magic. There IS live music from Janet Devlin ... Catch up with this week's showbiz and arts news on our On Demand service ... ... ....(size: 1.1Kb)
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Belfast Telegraph
07 Jun 2014
Fears that Scottish independence could reopen divisions in Ireland have been dismissed by former Northern Ireland Secretary John Reid ... He accused First Minister Alex Salmond of running a Monty Python-esque campaign by deliberately ignoring the benefits of the UK and the risks of independence ... "I don't think it has a particular implication for Northern Ireland ... "We have been going through a sort of Monty Python period of exchange ... new ... ....(size: 7.0Kb)
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Penn Live
07 Jun 2014
If asked to name a butler, any butler, one name might bubble up out of the subconscious. Jeeves. That's a tribute to author P.G ... But even newcomers to Wodehouse's fictional world will enjoy this "Downton Abbey" meets "Monty Python" send-up of the idle rich, and may even start seeking second-hand copies of old Jeeves books ... The latter, a native of England, has not unexpectedly the most authentic sounding accent among the cast ... IF YOU GO ... ....(size: 4.2Kb)
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The Daily Telegraph
07 Jun 2014
Related Articles. Britain's Got Talent. the judges 'gush' over dancing granny 31 May 2014. Britain's Got Talent's 79-year-old dancing star is a lesson to us all 14 Apr 2014. Britain's Got Talent, fourth semi-final. 'no surprises' 29 May 2014. . TV and Radio. Celebrity news ». Culture ». Culture News ». Britain's Got Talent ». Simon Cowell ». . TV guide. UK listings. ... . Monty Python's 25 funniest lines....(size: 6.1Kb)
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Canada Dot Com
07 Jun 2014
THE LION INDOORS. After almost two decades at the Bayshore, the local movie industry's Leo Awards ceremony returned recently to its original location, the Hotel Vancouver ... Also engagingly, actor Jaren Brandt Bartlett's jacket featured star-bright studs on its lapels ... NEXT BEST ... DISTINGUISHED COMPANY ... It was a "best wishes" note from Sir Eric Idle, the Monty Python's Flying Circus cast member who played Sir Robin in the original Spamalot ... ....(size: 5.0Kb)
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The Daily Telegraph
07 Jun 2014
Related Articles. Britain's Got Talent's 79-year-old dancing star is a lesson to us all 14 Apr 2014. Britain's Got Talent. the judges 'gush' over dancing granny 31 May 2014. Britain's Got Talent, fourth semi-final. 'no surprises' 29 May 2014. Absent was the delicious eccentricity of previous seasons. Granted, the open auditions were richly provisioned with flakes and fruitcakes ... READ ... ... Culture » ... Monty Python's 25 funniest lines ... TV....(size: 7.4Kb)
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The Daily Telegraph
07 Jun 2014
Related Articles. Britain's Got Talent. the judges 'gush' over dancing granny 31 May 2014. Britain's Got Talent's 79-year-old dancing star is a lesson to us all 14 Apr 2014. Britain's Got Talent, fourth semi-final. 'no surprises' 29 May 2014. Benjamin Cavalier via comments. "sad, but what a twist...collabro wins it? was thinking then it was lucy ... 21.23 It's official. Les Mis is the key to success ... Collabro! ... Monty Python's 25 funniest lines ... TV....(size: 14.4Kb)
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The Daily Telegraph
07 Jun 2014
Related Articles. UN orders Japan to halt whaling in the Antarctic 31 Mar 2014. Japan's whaling past 31 Mar 2014. There is a hospital with its dentist’s chair surreally parked in the snow outside the front door. Inside, the pharmacy is still stocked with kaolin and morphine, swabs and poultices ... Entire workshops are filled with ship-repairing spanners, wrenches and vices ... money ... READ. Prix Pictet award ... Monty Python's 25 funniest lines....(size: 16.3Kb)
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noodls
06 Jun 2014
(Source. Minot State University) Summer Theatre prepares for 49th season. "The Musical of Musicals," a musical by Joanne Bogart and Eric Rockwell, kicks off this year's Minot State University's Summer Theatre season ... It runs from June 13 to 18. Other scheduled productions include the comedy "See How They Run," which runs June 26-30. Monty Python's "Spamalot" is a musical comedy adapted from the 1975 film "Monty Python and the Holy Grail....(size: 2.3Kb)
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Reuters
06 Jun 2014
LONDON (Reuters) - Anyone attending the premiere of Berlioz's rarely seen opera "Benvenuto Cellini", directed by Monty Python alumnus Terry Gilliam at the English National Opera, could be forgiven for thinking it was a preview for the Python reunion show in July ... As if in preparation for the reunion show the surviving Pythons will perform at ......(size: 3.3Kb)
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Huffington Post
06 Jun 2014
From "Family Guy" to "Anchorman" to a certain song from Monty Python's "The Meaning Of Life," penis nicknames are a bigger part of of pop culture than you might think. Watch the supercut above to hear over three and a half minutes of TV and movie nicknames for male genitalia, including "Rumple Foreskin," "John Henry," "Mr Happy," and yes, even, "Princess Sophia." ... Video by Ben Craw ....(size: 0.5Kb)
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Monty Python (sometimes known as The Pythons) was a British surreal comedy group who created Monty Python's Flying Circus, a British television comedy sketch show that first aired on the BBC on 5 October 1969. Forty-five episodes were made over four series. The Python phenomenon developed from the television series into something larger in scope and impact, spawning touring stage shows, films, numerous albums, several books and a stage musical as well as launching the members to individual stardom. The group's influence on comedy has been compared to The Beatles' influence on music.
The television series, broadcast by the BBC from 1969 to 1974, was conceived, written and performed by members Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, and Michael Palin. Loosely structured as a sketch show, but with an innovative stream-of-consciousness approach (aided by Gilliam's animation), it pushed the boundaries of what was acceptable in style and content. A self-contained comedy team responsible for both writing and performing their work, the Pythons' creative control allowed them to experiment with form and content, discarding rules of television comedy. Their influence on British comedy has been apparent for years, while in North America it has coloured the work of cult performers from the early editions of Saturday Night Live through to more recent absurdist trends in television comedy. "Pythonesque" has entered the English lexicon as a result.
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monty_Python
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Nathaniel Joseph "Nature" Ruess (February 26, 1982) is an American indie/indie pop singer-songwriter from Arizona. Ruess was the singer of The Format and currently lead vocalist of the band Fun.
Nate was born February 26, 1982 in Iowa City, Iowa. He was the youngest of two children, his sister Libbie being one year older.
In 1986, his family moved to a farm in Glendale, Arizona, where he remained throughout his childhood. He attended Deer Valley High School and graduated in 2000. Having an uncle, John Ruess, who performed on Broadway, Ruess was always somewhat interested in music and performing. He joined punk bands in high school and, upon graduation, chose to pursue music instead of attending college. He never took formal singing lessons or learned to play an instrument and was often told by peers that he lacked the talent to make it professionally. He took a job in a law firm as a way to support himself while he pursued his musical ambitions.
In 2001, at the age of 19, he launched the band The Format with his longtime best friend, Sam Means. This was his first musical endeavor to garner widespread attention.
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| Ryan Lewis | |
|---|---|
 Ryan Lewis (back) performing with Macklemore (front) at Sasquatch! Music Festival |
|
| Background information | |
| Born | (1988-03-25) March 25, 1988 (age 24) Spokane, Washington, U.S. |
| Origin | Seattle, Washington, U.S. |
| Genres | Hip hop |
| Occupations | Producer, DJ |
| Years active | 2006–present |
| Associated acts | Macklemore |
| Website | rlewis.com |
Ryan Lewis (born March 25, 1988) is an American music producer, musician, music video director, photographer, graphic designer, rapper and DJ currently based in Seattle. He is best known for his collaboration with American rapper Macklemore (Ben Haggerty) producing Macklemore & Ryan Lewis — The VS. EP (2009), The Heist (2012) and a handful of other singles. Since the beginning of their collaboration in late 2008, Ryan has produced, recorded, engineered and mixed all of the music, directed music videos ("Same Love", "Thrift Shop", "And We Danced", "Otherside (Remix)"), designed visuals (album art, web design, posters) and DJed the live show.
In a recent mini-documentary, Lewis recalled meeting Macklemore for the first time. "When I met him, it was a really different time. It was less than a year after [2005's] Language of My World had come out. So he had buzz. For me being a young kid, it was very exciting to link with him. The bulk of our original relationship was photo shoots. I became kind of his photographer."[1]
Contents |
[edit] The Heist
On October 9, 2012, Macklemore & Ryan Lewis released The Heist. The album debuted at #2 on the Billboard charts and #1 on the Top R&B/Hip-Hop Albums and Top Rap Albums, selling 78,000 copies in the first week.[2] The album also debuted at #1 on iTunes Digital Albums chart.[3] The duo's album has received more than 1 million plays on SoundCloud, 70 million YouTube views and was accompanied by a sold-out 50-date U.S. and Canadian tour.[4]
Discography[link]
(All credited to Macklemore & Ryan Lewis)
Studio albums[link]
| Title | Album details | Peak chart positions | Sales | |||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| US [5] |
US R&B [6] |
US Rap [7] |
AUS [8] |
BEL (FL) [9] |
CAN [10] |
FR [11] |
NZ [12] |
|||
| The Heist (with Macklemore) |
|
2 | 1 | 1 | 2 | 175 | 4 | 186 | 24 | |
| "—" denotes a recording that did not chart or was not released in that territory. | ||||||||||
- EPs
| Title | Album details | Peak chart positions | Tracklist |
|---|---|---|---|
| US | |||
| The VS. EP |
|
– |
|
| The VS. Redux |
|
– |
|
Singles[link]
| Title | Year | Peak chart positions | Certifications | Album | |||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| US [15] |
US Alt. [16] |
US R&B [17] |
US Rap [18] |
AUS [8] |
CAN [19] |
FRA [20] |
GER [21] |
IRL [22] |
NZ [12] |
||||
| "My Oh My" (with Macklemore) |
2010 | — | — | — | — | — | — | — | — | — | — | The Heist | |
| "Wing$"[A] (with Macklemore) |
2011 | — | — | 57 | — | — | — | — | — | — | — | ||
| "Can't Hold Us" (with Macklemore featuring Ray Dalton) |
113 | — | 39 | — | — | — | 186 | — | 24 | — | |||
| "Same Love"[B] (with Macklemore featuring Mary Lambert) |
2012 | 117 | — | 36 | — | 1 | — | — | — | — | 1 | ||
| "Thrift Shop" (with Macklemore featuring Wanz) |
1 | 17 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 4 | 50 | 13 | 1 | |||
| "—" denotes a recording that did not chart or was not released in that territory. | |||||||||||||
Notes[link]
- A ^ "Wing$" did not enter the R&B/Hip-Hop Songs chart, but peaked at number 7 on the Bubbling Under R&B/Hip-Hop Songs chart, which acts as an extension to the R&B/Hip-Hop Songs chart.[27]
- B ^ "Same Love" did not enter the Billboard Hot 100, but peaked at number 25 on the Bubbling Under Hot 100 Singles chart, which acts as an extension to the Hot 100.[28]
References[link]
- ^ Frydenlund, Zach (October 24, 2012). "Video: Macklemore & Ryan Lewis Documentary" Complex.
- ^ Caulfield, Keith (October 17, 2012). "Macklemore & Ryan Lewis' 'Heist' Album Debuts At No. 2 On Billboard 200, Mumford Holds at No. 1" Billboard.
- ^ Knopper, Steve (October 17, 2012). "On the Charts: Mumford & Sons Slip, Macklemore and Ryan Lewis Impress" Rolling Stone.
- ^ Halperin, Shirley (October 24, 2012). "The Triumph of Macklemore & Ryan Lewis: How Hip-Hop's DIY Duo Landed a No. 2 Debut With 'The Heist'" The Hollywood Reporter.
- ^ "Macklemore Album & Song Chart History: Billboard 200". Billboard. Prometheus Global Media. http://www.billboard.com/#/artist/macklemore/chart-history/1250363?f=305&g=Albums. Retrieved November 2, 2012.
- ^ "Macklemore Album & Song Chart History: R&B/Hip-Hop Albums". Billboard. Prometheus Global Media. http://www.billboard.com/#/artist/macklemore/chart-history/1250363?f=333&g=Albums. Retrieved November 2, 2012.
- ^ "Macklemore Album & Song Chart History: Rap Albums". Billboard. Prometheus Global Media. http://www.billboard.com/#/artist/macklemore/chart-history/1250363?f=335&g=Albums. Retrieved November 2, 2012.
- ^ a b "Discography Macklemore". australian-charts.com. Hung Medien. http://australian-charts.com/showinterpret.asp?interpret=Macklemore. Retrieved November 10, 2012.
- ^ "Discography Macklemore" (in Dutch). ultratop.be. Hung Medien. http://www.ultratop.be/nl/showinterpret.asp?interpret=Macklemore. Retrieved November 10, 2012.
- ^ "Macklemore Album & Song Chart History: Canadian Albums". Billboard. Prometheus Global Media. http://www.billboard.com/#/artist/macklemore/chart-history/1250363?f=309&g=Albums. Retrieved November 2, 2012.
- ^ "Discography Macklemore" (in French). lescharts.com. Hung Medien. http://www.lescharts.com/showinterpret.asp?interpret=Macklemore. Retrieved January 30, 2013.
- ^ a b "Discography Macklemore". charts.org.nz. Hung Medien. http://charts.org.nz/showinterpret.asp?interpret=Macklemore. Retrieved November 10, 2012.
- ^ Horowitz, Steven J. (2013-01-03). "Hip Hop Album Sales: The Week Ending 12/30/2012 | Get The Latest Hip Hop News, Rap News & Hip Hop Album Sales". HipHop DX. http://www.hiphopdx.com/index/news/id.22415/title.hip-hop-album-sales-the-week-ending-12-30-2012. Retrieved 2013-01-28.
- ^ "ARIA Charts > Accreditations > 2013Album". Australian Recording Industry Association. http://www.aria.com.au/pages/httpwww.aria.com.aupagesALBUMaccreds2013.htm. Retrieved 2013-01-20.
- ^ "Macklemore Album & Song Chart History: Hot 100". Billboard. Prometheus Global Media. http://www.billboard.com/#/artist/macklemore/chart-history/1250363?f=379&g=Singles. Retrieved November 8, 2012.
- ^ "Macklemore Album & Song Chart History: Alternative Songs". Billboard. Prometheus Global Media. http://www.billboard.com/#/artist/macklemore/chart-history/1250363?f=377&g=Singles. Retrieved November 8, 2012.
- ^ "Macklemore Album & Song Chart History: R&B/Hip-Hop Songs". Billboard. Prometheus Global Media. http://www.billboard.com/#/artist/macklemore/chart-history/1250363?f=367&g=Singles. Retrieved November 8, 2012.
- ^ "Macklemore Album & Song Chart History: Rap Songs". Billboard. Prometheus Global Media. http://www.billboard.com/#/artist/macklemore/chart-history/1250363?f=1222&g=Singles. Retrieved November 8, 2012.
- ^ "Macklemore Album & Song Chart History: Canadian Hot 100". Billboard. Prometheus Global Media. http://www.billboard.com/#/artist/macklemore/chart-history/1250363?f=793&g=Singles. Retrieved November 8, 2012.
- ^ "Discographie Macklemore" (in French). lescharts.com. Hung Medien. http://lescharts.com/showinterpret.asp?interpret=Macklemore. Retrieved November 27, 2012.
- ^ "Macklemore (Single)" (in German). charts.de. Media Control Charts. http://charts.de/suche.asp?search=Macklemore&x=0&y=0&country=de&kategorie=single. Retrieved November 27, 2012.
- ^ "Irish Charts – Top 100 Singles – Week ending 8th November 2012". Irish Recorded Music Association. Archived from the original on November 9, 2012. http://archive.is/8BpY. Retrieved November 9, 2012.
- ^ "ARIA Charts > Accreditations > 2013Singles". Australian Recording Industry Association. http://www.aria.com.au/pages/httpwww.aria.com.aupagesSINGLEaccreds2013.htm. Retrieved 2013-01-20.
- ^ "NZ Top 40 Singles Chart: 03 December 2012". Recording Industry Association of New Zealand. http://nztop40.co.nz/chart/singles?chart=2100. Retrieved December 22, 2012.
- ^ "ARIA Charts > Accreditations > 2013Singles". Australian Recording Industry Association. http://www.aria.com.au/pages/httpwww.aria.com.aupagesSINGLEaccreds2013.htm. Retrieved 2013-01-13.
- ^ Horowitz, Steven J. (2013-01-03). "Macklemore & Ryan Lewis' "Thrift Shop" Certified Platinum | Get The Latest Hip Hop News, Rap News & Hip Hop Album Sales". HipHop DX. http://www.hiphopdx.com/index/news/id.22418/title.macklemore-ryan-lewis-thrift-shop-certified-platinum. Retrieved 2013-01-28.
- ^ "Bubbling Under R&B/Hip-Hop Songs – Issue Date: 2012-11-17". Billboard. Prometheus Global Media. http://www.billboard.biz/bbbiz/charts/chart-search-results/singles/14301397. Retrieved November 8, 2012.
- ^ "Bubbling Under Hot 100 – Issue Date: 2012-12-29". Billboard. Prometheus Global Media. http://www.billboard.biz/bbbiz/charts/chart-search-results/singles/14321097. Retrieved December 20, 2012.
External links[link]
| Persondata | |
|---|---|
| Name | Lewis, Ryan |
| Alternative names | |
| Short description | American music producer |
| Date of birth | March 25, 1988 |
| Place of birth | Puyallup, Washington, U.S. |
| Date of death | |
| Place of death | |
http://wn.com/Ryan_Lewis
This page contains text from Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia -
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ryan_Lewis
This article is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License, which means that you can copy and modify it as long as the entire work (including additions) remains under this license.
This article is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License, which means that you can copy and modify it as long as the entire work (including additions) remains under this license.
Nigahiga (
/ˈniːɡɑːhiːɡɑː/) is a popular YouTube channel, and personality of Japanese American Ryan Higa (born (1990-06-06) June 6, 1990 (age 22), in Hilo, Hawaii). Since relocating to Las Vegas to study filmmaking at UNLV, Higa's videos are either solo efforts or videos with other people such as KevJumba. They are known for their YouTube comedy videos, which have been viewed over 1.1 billion times. As of May 2012, Higa's YouTube channel, nigahiga, has over 5.3 million subscribers, and is the second most subscribed YouTube channel of all time, surpassed only by RayWilliamJohnson. According to Higa, his channel name is a combination of "Niga", which means "rant" in Japanese, and his last name, "Higa".
Ryan Higa and Sean Fujiyoshi started posting YouTube videos of themselves lip-synching to songs in mid 2006 while attending Waiakea High School. They quickly expanded beyond songs, with a variety of other comedic pieces. Occasional guest appearances are made by Tim Enos, Ryan Villaruel, Kyle Chun, and Tarynn Nago, collectively known as the "Yabo Crew".
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Captain Jack Sparrow is a fictional character and the main protagonist of the Pirates of the Caribbean film series created by screenwriters Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio, portrayed by Johnny Depp. He is first introduced in the film Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003). He later appears in the sequels Dead Man's Chest (2006), At World's End (2007), and On Stranger Tides (2011). Jack Sparrow was originally conceived as a supporting character. He was brought to life by the actor Johnny Depp, who based his characterization on The Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards and cartoon character Pepé Le Pew. He tends to become rather frustrated whenever someone pronounces his name without the term "Captain".
The series Pirates of the Caribbean was inspired by a Disney theme park ride, and in 2006, when the ride was revamped, the character of Jack Sparrow was introduced to it. Jack Sparrow is also the subject of a children's book series, Pirates of the Caribbean: Jack Sparrow, which chronicles his teenage years and the character has also appeared in numerous video games.
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- Lyrics: play full screen play karaoke
- Oliver Cromwell - Monty Python
- Money Song - Monty Python
- Background To History - Monty Python
- I've Got Two Legs - Monty Python
- Bruces' Philosophy Song - Monty Python
- Brian Song - Monty Python
- Penis Song (Not The Noel Coward Song) - Monty Python
- Meaning Of Life - Monty Python
- Lumberjack - Monty Python
- Knights Of The Round Table (Camelot Song) - Monty Python
- Henry Kissinger - Monty Python
- Finland - Monty Python
- Camelot Song - Monty Python
- Accountancy Shanty - Monty Python
- Accoutancy Shanty - Monty Python
- The Brian Song - Monty Python
- The Idiot Song - Monty Python
- The Meaning Of Life Theme Song - Monty Python
- Anything Goes - Monty Python
- You They Won't Play This Song On The Radio - Monty Python
- Yangtse Song - Monty Python
- When Does A Dream Begin? - Monty Python
- The Urban Spaceman - Monty Python
- That's Death - Monty Python
- Spam Song - Monty Python
- Sir Robin - Monty Python
- Protest Song - Monty Python
- Penis Song - Monty Python
- Oh Lord Please Don't Burn Us - Monty Python
- Military Fairy - Monty Python
- Never Be Rude To An Arab - Monty Python
- Muddy Knees - Monty Python
- I Like Traffic Lights - Monty Python
- Inspector Dim's Song - Monty Python
- Answering Machine Song - Monty Python
- Knights of the Round Table - Monty Python
- Holzfäller Song - Monty Python
- Ferret Song - Monty Python
- Here Comes Another One - Monty Python
- Do Wot John - Monty Python
- Bing Tiddle Tiddle Bong - Monty Python
- Eric The Half A Bee - Monty Python
- Decomposing Composers - Monty Python
- Bruces' Philosophers Song - Monty Python
- The Piranha Brothers - Monty Python
- World Forum - Monty Python
- The Money Song - Monty Python
- Cheese Shop - Monty Python
- The Third World - Yorkshire (every Sperm Is Sacred) - Monty Python
- Sermon On The Mount (big Nose) - Monty Python
- The Tale Of Sir Robin - Monty Python
- The Spam Song - Monty Python
- Travel Agent - Monty Python
- Travel Agency - Monty Python
- The Architect - Monty Python
- Swamp Castle - Monty Python
- The Dead Parrot - Monty Python
- The Argument Clinic - Monty Python
- String - Monty Python
- Spanish Inquisition Part 1 - Monty Python
- Parrot Sketch - Monty Python
- Parrot (oh Not Again) - Monty Python
- Novel Writing - Monty Python
- Pilate With The Crowd (welease Wodger) - Monty Python
- Pet Shop - Monty Python
- I Bet You They Won't Play This Song On The Radio - Monty Python
- How Do You Tell A Witch - Monty Python
- Immanuel Kant - Monty Python
- Im A Lumberjack - Monty Python
- Four Yorkshiremen - Monty Python
- Fish Licence - Monty Python
- Election Special - Monty Python
- Death Of Mary Queen Of Scots - Monty Python
- Dead Parrot Sketch - Monty Python
- Constitutional Peasant - Monty Python
- Blackmail - Monty Python
- Bishop On The Landing - Monty Python
- Bells - Monty Python
- Camelot - Monty Python
- Bruces - Monty Python
- Apologies - Monty Python
- Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life - Monty Python
- Argument Clinic - Monty Python
- Argument - Monty Python
- A Fairy Tale - Monty Python
- The Penis Song - Monty Python
- The Meaning of Life - Monty Python
- Nisus Wettus With The Gaolers - Monty Python
- We Love The Yangtse - Monty Python
- Undertaker - Monty Python
- Two Legs - Monty Python
- The Wise Men At The Manger - Monty Python
- The Philosophers Song - Monty Python
- The Knights Who Say Ni! - Monty Python
- The Ferret Song - Monty Python
- Spam - Monty Python
- Sit On My Face - Monty Python
- Rhubarb Tart - Monty Python
- Penguin On The Tv - Monty Python
- O Lord Please Don't Burn Us - Monty Python
SPOKEN: THE MOST INTERESTING THING ABOUT
KING CHARLES I IS THAT HE WAS 5'6"
TALL AT THE START OF HIS REIGN,
BUT ONLY 4'8" AT THE END OF IT...
BECAUSE OF...
Oliver Cromwell, Lord Protecteur of England
PURITAN
Born in 1599 and died in 1658
SEPTEM
Was at first
ONLY
MP for Huntingdon
BUT THEN
He led the Ironside Cavalry at Marston Moor
in 1644 and won.
Then he founded the new model model army
And praise be, beat the Cavaliers at Naisby
And the King fled up North like a bat to the
Scot
SPOKEN: BUT UNDER THE TERMS OF JOHN PIMM'S SOLEMN
LEAGUE AND COVENANT, THE SCOTS HANDED KING
CHARLES I OVER TO...
Oliver Cromwell, Lord Protecteur of England
AND HIS WARTS
Born in 1599 and died in 1658
SEPTEMBER
But alas
OY VAY!
Disagreeme
nt then broke out
BETWEEN
The Presbyterian Parliament and the Military
who meant
To have an independent bent.
And so...
The 2nd Civil War broke out
And the Roundhead ranks
Faced the Cavaliers at Preston Banks
And the King lost again, silly thing
STUPID GIT
SPOKEN: AND CROMWELL SEND COLONEL PRIDE TO PURGE THE
HOUSE OF COMMONS OF THE PRESBYTERIAN ROYALISTS
LEAVING BEHIND ONLY THE RUMP PARLIAMENT...
Which appointed a High Court at Westminster
Hall
To indict Charles I for...tyranny
OOOOHH
Charles was sentenced to death
Even though he refused to accept that the court
had...jurisdiction
SAY GOODBYE TO HIS HEAD
Poor King Charles laid his head on the block
JANUARY 1649
Down came the axe, and...
SPOKEN: IN THE SILENCE THAT FOLLOWED, THE ONLY SOUND
THAT COULD BE HEARD WAS A SOLITARY GIGGLE,
FROM...
Oliver Cromwell, Lord Protecteur of England
Born in 1599 and died in 1658
SEPTEMBER
Then he smashed
IRELAND
Set up the Commonwealth
AND MORE
He crushed the Scots at Worce
ster
And beat the Dutch at sea
In 1653 and then
He dissolved the Rump Parliament
And with Lambert's consent
Wrote the instrument of Government
Under which Oliver was Proctector at last
PRESENTER:
I've got ninety thousand pounds in my pyjamas.
I've got forty thousand French francs in my fridge.
I've got lots of lovely lire.
Now the Deutschmark's getting dearer,
And my dollar bills would buy the Brooklyn Bridge.
PRESENTER and CHORUS:
There is nothing quite as wonderful as money.
There is nothing quite as beautiful as cash.
Some people say it's folly,
But I'd rather have the lolly.
With money you can make a splash.
PRESENTER:
There is nothing quite as wonderful as money.
CHORUS:
...Money, money, money, money.
PRESENTER:
There is nothing like a newly minted pound.
CHORUS:
...Money, money, money, money.
PRESENTER and CHORUS:
Everyone must hanker
For the butchness of a banker.
It's accountancy that makes the world go 'round.
CHORUS:
'Round, 'round, 'round.
PRESENTER:
You can keep your Marxist ways,
For it's only just a phase,
For it's money, money, money makes the world go 'round.
CHORUS:
...Money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, moneeeeey!
PROF. JONES: Good evening. One of the main elements in any assessment of the medieval open-field farming system is the availability of plough teams for the winter plowing. Professor Tofts of the University of Manchester puts it like this:
(A rocking beat starts and a 60s-style folk rock song with some heavy caribbean influence begins.)
To plough once in the winter Sowing, and again in Lent,
Sowing with as many oxen
Sowing with as many oxen
As he shall have yoked in the plough
Oh yes
Oh yes
As he shall have yoked in the plough.
Oh yes
Oh yes
PROF. JONES: But of course there is considerable evidence of open-field villages as far back as the tenth century. Professor Moorhead: (Dramatic metal chords, reminiscent of British punk or perhaps groups like Black Sabbath.)
Theeeeeere's ev-i-de-ence
Theeeeeere's ev-i-de-ence
There's evidence (evidence)
Evidence (evidence)
Evidence (evidence?)
There's evidence (evidence!)
Evidence of settlements with one long village street,
Farmsteads, hamlets, little towns - the framework was complete
By the tiiiiime ... (OF THE NORMAN CONQUEST!) The rural framework was complete
Rur-al
frame-work
wa-as
com-plete.
PROF. JONES: This is not to say, of course, that the system was as sophisticated as it later came to be. I asked the Professor of Medieval studies at Cambridge why this was.
PROF. HEGERMAN: (stuttering) Well, i-it may not have been a - a statutory obligation, but, uh, I mean, uh, a guy who was a freeman whuh - was obliged in the medieval system to...
PROF. JONES: To do boonwork?
PROF. HEGERMANN: That's right. There's an example, ah, from the village rolls, ah, in 1313.
PROF. JONES: And I believe you're going to do it for us.
PROF. HEGERMAN: That's right, yeah...
(Pop beat sets in, reminiscent of the Beatles in their later period but with some of the spastic quality of a Joe Cocker.)
Oh it's written in the village rolls
That if one plough-team wants an oxen
And that oxen is lent
Then the villeins and the ploughmen got to have the loooord's consent.
Yeah, yeah,
Then the villeins and the ploughmen got to have the lord's consent
Then the villeins and the ploughmen got to have the lord's consent
Then the villeins and the ploughmen got to have the lord's consent
Then the villeins and the ploughmen got to have the lord's consent
Then the villeins and the ploughmen got to have the lord's consent
(na na na na)
Then the villeins and the ploughmen got to have the lord's consent
(na na na na)
Then the villeins and the ploughmen got to have the lord's consent
(na na na na)
Then the villeins and the ploughmen got to have the lord's consent
Then the villeins and the ploughmen got to have the lord's consent.
That was a talk on the open-field farming system by Professor Angus Jones. Some of the main points covered in this talk are now available on a long-playing record entitled "The Ronettes Sing Medieval Agrarian History."
Oh I got two legs from my waist to the ground and
When I move 'em they walk around and
When I lift 'em they climb the stairs and
When I shave 'em they ain't got hairs!
(BANG!)
Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable.
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could think you under the table.
David Hume could out-consume
Schopenhauer and Hegel,
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel.
There's nothing Nietzche couldn't teach ya
'Bout the raising of the wrist.
Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed.
John Stuart Mill, of his own free will,
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.
Plato, they say, could stick it away--
Half a crate of whiskey every day.
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle.
Hobbes was fond of his dram,
And Ren Descartes was a drunken fart.
'I drink, therefore I am.'
Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed,
A lovely little thinker,
But a bugger when he's pissed.
Brian...the babe they called Brian,
Grew...grew, grew and grew,
Grew up to be,
Grew up to be,
A boy called Brian,
A boy called Brian.
He had arms, and legs, and hands, and feet
This boy whose name was Brian,
And he grew, grew, grew and grew,
Grew up to be,
Yes he grew up to be,
A teenager called Brian,
A teenager called Brian.
And his face became spotty
Yes his face became spotty,
And his voice dropped down low,
And things started to grow,
On young Brian and so,
He was certainly no,
No girl named Brian,
Not a girl named Brian.
And he started to shave,
And have one off the wrist,
And want to see girls,
And go out and get pissed
A man called Brian.
This man called Brian.
The man they called Brian.
Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis
Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong
It's swell to have a stiffy
It's divine to own a dick
From the tiniest little tadger
To the world's biggest prick
So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas
Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake
Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend
Your Percy, or your cock
You can wrap it up in ribbons
You can slip it in your sock
But don't take it out in public
Or they will stick you in the dock
And you won't come about
Why are we here? What's life all about?
Is God really real, or is there some doubt?
Well, tonight, we're going to sort it all out,
For, tonight, it's 'The Meaning of Life'.
What's the point of all this hoax?
Is it the chicken and the egg time? Are we just yolks?
Or, perhaps, we're just one of God's little jokes.
Well, ça c'est 'The Meaning of Life'.
Is life just a game where we make up the rules
While we're searching for something to say,
Or are we just simply spiralling coils
Of self-replicating DN-- nay, nay, nay, nay, nay, nay, nay.
What is life? What is our fate?
Is there a Heaven and Hell? Do we reincarnate?
Is mankind evolving, or is it too late?
Well, tonight, here's 'The Meaning of Life'.
For millions, this 'life' is a sad vale of tears,
Sitting 'round with really nothing to say
While the scientists say we're just simply spiralling coils
Of self-replicating DN-- nay, nay, nay, nay, nay, nay, nay.
So, just why-- why are we here,
And just what-- what-- what-- what do we fear?
Well, ce soir, for a change, it will all be made clear,
For this is 'The Meaning of Life'. C'est le sens de la vie.
This is 'The Meaning of Life'.
BARBER:
I wanted to be... a lumberjack!
Leaping from tree to tree, as they float down the mighty rivers of British Columbia. The Giant Redwood. The Larch. The Fir! The mighty Scots Pine! The lofty flowering Cherry! The plucky little Apsen! The limping Roo tree of Nigeria. The towering Wattle of Aldershot! The Maidenhead Weeping Water Plant! The naughty Leicestershire Flashing Oak! The flatulent Elm of West Ruislip! The Quercus Maximus Bamber Gascoigni! The Epigillus! The Barter Hughius Greenus!
With my best buddy by my side, we'd sing! Sing! Sing!
[singing]
I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay.
I sleep all night and I work all day.
MOUNTIES:
He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
BARBER:
I cut down trees. I eat my lunch.
I go to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays I go shoppin'
And have buttered scones for tea.
MOUNTIES:
He cuts down trees. He eats his lunch.
He goes to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays he goes shopping
And has buttered scones for tea.
He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
BARBER:
I cut down trees. I skip and jump.
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women's clothing
And hang around in bars.
MOUNTIES:
He cuts down trees. He skips and jumps.
He likes to press wild flowers.
He puts on women's clothing
And hangs around in bars?!
He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
BARBER:
I cut down trees. I wear high heels,
Suspendies, and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie,
Just like my dear Papa.
MOUNTIES:
He cuts down trees. He wears high heels,
Suspendies, and a bra?!
[talking]
What's this? Wants to be a girlie?! Oh, My!
And I thought you were so rugged! Poofter!...
[singing]
He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
He's a lumberjack, and he's okaaaaay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
We're Knights of the Round Table.
We dance whene'er we're able.
We do routines and chorus scenes
With footwork impeccable.
We dine well here in Camelot.
We eat ham and jam and spam a lot.
We're Knights of the Round Table.
Our shows are formidable,
But many times we're given rhymes
That are quite unsingable.
We're opera mad in Camelot.
We sing from the diaphragm a lot.
In war we're tough and able,
Quite indefatigable.
Between our quests we sequin vests and impersonate Clark Gable.
It's a busy life in Camelot.
I have to push the pram a lot.
Henry Kissinger How I'm missing yer
You're the Doctor of my dreams
With your crinkly hair and your glassy stare
And your Machiavellian schemes
I know they say that you are very vain
And short and fat and pushy
But at least you're not insane
Henry Kissinger How I'm missing yer
And wishing you were here
Henry Kissinger how I'm missing yer
You're so chubby and so neat
With your funny clothes and your squishy nose
You're like a German par-a-keet
Alright so people say that you don't care
But you've got nicer legs than Hitler
and bigger tits than Cher
Henry Kissinger
How I'm missing yer and wishing you were here
Chorus: Finland, Finland, Finland.
The country where I want to be,
Pony trekking or camping,
Or just watching TV.
Finland, Finland, Finland,
It's the country for me.
Verse: You're so near to Russia,
So far from Japan.
Quite a long way from Ca
iro,
Lots of miles from Vietnam.
Chorus: Finland, Finland, Finland.
The country where I want to be,
Eating breakfast or dinner,
Or snack lunch in the hall.
Finland, Finland, Finland,
Finland has it all.
Verse: You're so sadly neglected,
And o
ften ignored,
A poor second to Belgium,
When going abroad.
Chorus: Finland, Finland, Finland.
The country where I quite want to be,
Your mountains so lofty,
Your treetops so tall.
Finland, Finland, Finland,
Finland has it all.
Repeat: Finland, Finland, Finland.
The country where I quite want to be,
Your mountains so lofty,
Your treetops so tall.
Finland, Finland, Finland,
Finland has it all.
We're Knights of the Round Table.
We dance whene'er we're able.
We do routines and chorus scenes
With footwork impeccable.
We dine well here in Camelot.
We eat ham and jam and spam a lot.
We're Knights of the Round Table.
Our shows are formidable,
But many times we're given rhymes
That are quite unsingable.
We're opera mad in Camelot.
We sing from the diaphragm a lot.
In war we're tough and able,
Quite indefatigable.
Between our quests we sequin vests and impersonate Clark
Gable.
It's a busy life in Camelot.
It's fun to charter an accountant,
And sail the wide accountan-cy.
To find, explore the funds offshore,
And skirt the shoals of bankruptcy.
It can be manly in insurance.
We'll up your premium semi-anually.
It's all tax-deductible,
We're fairly incorruptible.
It's fun to charter an accountant
And sail the wide accountancy
To find, explore the funds offshore
And skirt the shoals of bankruptcy
It can be manly in insurance
We'll up your premium semi-annually
It's all tax-deductible
We're fairly incorruptible
We're sailing on the wide accountancy
Brian
The babe they called 'Brian'
He grew grew grew and grew
Grew up to be-- grew up to be
A boy called 'Brian'
A boy called 'Brian'
He had arms and legs and hands and feet
This boy whose name was 'Brian'
And he grew grew grew and grew
Grew up to be
Yes, he grew up to be
A teenager called 'Brian'
A teenager called 'Brian'
And his face became spotty
Yes, his face became spotty
And his voice dropped down low
And things started to grow
On young Brian and show
He was certainly no
No girl named 'Brian',
Not a girl named 'Brian'
And he started to shave
And have one off the wrist
And want to see girls
And go out and get pissed
A man called 'Brian'
This man called 'Brian'
The man they called 'Brian'
This man called 'Brian'!
How sweet to be an Idiot
As harmless as a cloud
Too small to hide the sun
Almost poking fun
At the warm but insecure untidy crowd.
How sweet to be an idiot
And dip my brain in joy
Children laughing at my back
With no fear of attack
As much retaliation as a toy
How sweet to be an idiot how sweet
I tiptoed down the street
Smiled at everyone I meet
But suddenly a scream
Smashes through my dream
Fee fie foe fum
I smell the blood of an asylum
Hey you, you're such a pedant
You got as much brain as a dead ant
As much imagination as a caravan sign
But I still love you still love you
Oooh how sweet to be an idiot
How sweet how sweet how sweet
Why are we here? What's life all about?
Is God really real or is there some doubt?
Well tonight we're going to sort it all out
For tonight it's 'The Meaning of Life'
What's the point of all this hoax?
Is it the chicken and the egg time?
Are we just yolks?
Or perhaps we're just one of God's little jokes
Well ça c'est 'The Meaning of Life'
Is life just a game where we make up the rules
While we're searching for something to say
Or are we just simply spiralling coils
Of self-replicating DN nay nay nay nay nay nay nay
What is life? What is our fate?
Is there a Heaven and Hell?
Do we reincarnate?
Is mankind evolving or is it too late?
Well tonight here's 'The Meaning of Life'
For millions this 'life' is a sad vale of tears
Sitting 'round with really nothing to say
While the scientists say we're just simply spiralling coils
Of self-replicating DN nay nay nay nay nay, nay nay
So just why why are we here
And just what what what what do we fear?
Well ce soir for a change it will all be made clear
For this is 'The Meaning of Life'
C'est le sens de la vie
This is 'The Meaning of Life'
Anything goes in
Anything goes out!
Fish bananas old pyjamas
Mutton! Beef! and Trout!
Anything goes in...
I bet they won't play this song on the radio
I bet you they won't play this new (bleep) song
It's not that it's (bleep) or (bleep) controversial
Just that the (bleep)ing words are`awfully strong
You can't say (bleep) on the radio
Or (bleep) or (bleep) or (bleep)
You can't even say I'd like to (bleep) you one day
Unless your're a doctor with a very large (bleep)
So I bet you they won't play this song on the radio
I bet you they daren't (bleep) well programme it
I bet you their (bleep)ing old Programme Directors
Will think it's a load of horse (bleep)
We love the Yangtse Yangtse Kiang
Flowing from Yushu down Ching Kiang
Passing through Chung King Wuhan and Hoo Kow
Three thousand miles but it gets there somehow
Oh! Szechuan's the province and Shanghai is the port
And the Yangtse is the river that we all support
We love the Yangtse Yangtse Kiang
Flowing from Yushu down Ching Kiang
Passing through Chung King Wuhan and Hoo Kow
Three thousand miles but it gets there somehow
Oh! Szechuan's the province and Shanghai is the port
And the Yangtse is the river that we all support
Yangtse!
Yangtse!
When does a dream begin?
Does it start with a goodnight kiss?
Is it conceived or simply achieved
When does a dream begin?
Is it born in a moment of bliss?
Or is it begun when two hearts are one
When does a dream exist?
The vision of you appears somehow
Impossible to resist
But I'm not imagining seeing you
For who could have dreamed of this?
When does a dream begin?
When reality is dismissed?
Or does it commence when we lose all pretence
When does a dream begin?
I'm the urban spaceman baby
I've got speed I've got everything I need
I'm the urban spaceman baby
I couldn't fly I'm a supersonic guy
I don't need pleasure I don't feel pain
If you were to knock me down I'd just get up again
I'm the urban spaceman baby I'm making out I'm all about
I wake up every morning with a smile upon my face
My natural exuberance spills out all over the place
I'm the urban spaceman I'm intelligent and clean, know what I mean
I'm the urban spaceman as a lover second to none it's a lot of fun
I never let my friends down I've made a boop
I'm a glossy magazine an advert on the tube
I'm the urban spaceman baby here comes the twist
I don't exist
There's a place you are always welcome
Where it's as nice as it can be
And every one can get in
'cause it's absolutely free
That's death
No need to take a breath
Just lay around all day
Not a single bill to pay
Hooray!
That's death
No one's sakedness is of use
If you lived beyond your knees
You can die beyond them, too
Hoohoo
All the greatest and the finest
Have already died
Why not simply join them
On the other side?
That's death
Say fare well to all your bills
Write down all your wills
And pop your final bills
Hey man!
That's death
And if you're not feeling great
It's the best way to loose weight
Hey mate!
Nothing here to hurt you
No one is here to neck
Come die with me
If your life's a treat
That's death (That's death)
All of them here
And they are all completely dead (so dead)
That's death (That's death)
No more suffers no more pain
Think of all teh millions who've died
No one came back to complain (oh yeah)
You can't take it with you
You can't keep what you got
Why not just lay down here?
Why not simply rot?
That's death!
Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam!
Lovely Spaaam! Wonderful Spaaam!
Lovely Spaaam! Wonderful Spam
Spa-a-a-a-a-a-a-am
Spa-a-a-a-a-a-a-am
Spa-a-a-a-a-a-a-am
Spa-a-a-a-a-a-a-am
Lovely Spaaam! (Lovely Spam!)
Lovely Spaaam! (Lovely Spam!)
Lovely Spaaam!
Spaaam Spaaam Spaaam Spaaaaaam!
Minstrel's song #1
Bravely bold Sir Robin rode forth from Camelot
He was not afraid to die O brave Sir Robin
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways
Brave brave brave brave Sir Robin!
He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp
Or to have his eyes gouged out and his elbows broken
To have his kneecaps split and his body burned away
And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin!
His head smashed in and his heart cut out
And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged
And his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off
And his pen
Minstrel's song #2
Brave Sir Robin ran away
Bravely ran away away
When danger reared its ugly head
He bravely turned his tail and fled
Yes brave Sir Robin turned about
And gallantly he chickened out
Bravely taking to his feet
He beat a very brave retreat
Bravest of the brave Sir Robin
Minstrel's song #3
He is packing it in and packing it up
And sneaking away and buggering up
And chickening out and pissing off home
Yes, bravely he is throwing in the sponge
All the prophets of doom
Can always find room
In a world full of worry and fear
Tips, cigarettes,
And chemistry sets
And Rudolph, The Red-Nosed Reindeer
So I'm goin' back
To my little ol' shack
And drink me a bottle of wine
That was mis en bouteille
Before my birthday
And have me a fuckin' good time!
Rain on a tin roof sounds like a drum
We're marchin' for freedom today ... hey!
Turn on your headlights and sound your horn
If people get in the way
Let me turn you on
To the Cromium Swan
On the the nose of a long limousine
Even hide for the day
It is somethin' to say
But what the hell does it mean?
I may be accused
Of bein' confused
But I'm average weight for my height
My phil-o-so-phy
Like color TV
Is all there in black and white
Rain on a tin roof sounds like a drum
We're marchin' for freedom today ... hey!
Turn on your headlights and sound your horn(honk honk)
If people get in the way
Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?
Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong?
It's swell to have a stiffy
It's divine to own a dick
From the tiniest little tadge
To the world's biggest prick
So three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas
Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake
Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend
Your Percy,or your cock.
You can wrap it up in ribbons
You can slip it in your sock
But don't take it out in public
Or they will stick you in the dock
And you won't come back
Oh Lord please don't burn us
Don't grill or toast Your flock
Don't put us on the barbecue
Or simmer us in stock
Don't braise or bake or boil us
Or stir-fry us in a wok
Oh, please don't lightly poach us
Or baste us with hot fat
Don't fricassee or roast us
Or boil us in a vat
And please don't stick Thy servants Lord
In a Rotissomat
Oooh get her! Whoops!
I've got your number ducky
You couldn't afford me dear
Two three
I'd scratch your eyes out
Don't come the brigadier bit with us dear
We all know where you've been you military fairy!
Whoops don't look now girls
The major's just minced in
With that dolly colour sergeant
Two three ooh-ho!
Never be rude to an Arab,
An Israeli, or Saudi, or Jew,
Never be rude to an Irishman,
No matter what you do.
Never poke fun at a Nigger,
A Spik, or a Wop, or a Kraut,
And never put down...
Muddy knees have got me all a-quiver,
Muddy knees have got me all aglow,
Muddy knees have sent me for a paper,
I like traffic lights,
I like traffic lights,
I like traffic lights,
No matter where they've been.
I like traffic lights,
I like traffic lights,
I like traffic lights,
I like traffic lights,
I like traffic lights,
But only when they're green.
He likes traffic lights,
He likes traffic lights,
He likes traffic lights,
No matter where they've been.
He likes traffic lights,
He likes traffic lights,
He likes traffic lights,
But only when they're green.
I like traffic lights,
I like traffic lights,
I like traffic lights,
That is what I said.
I like traffic lights,
I like traffic lights,
I like traffic lights,
But not when they are red.
He likes traffic lights,
He likes traffic lights,
That is what he said.
He likes traffic lights,
He likes traffic lights,
He likes traffic lights,
He likes traffic lights,
He likes traffic lights,
But not when they are red.
I like traffic lights,
I like traffic lights,
I like traffic lights,
Although my name's not Bamber.
I like traffic lights,
I like traffic lights,
I like traffic lights,
If I were not in the CID
Something else I'd like to be
If I were not in the CID
A window cleaner me!
With a rub-a-dub-dub and a scrub-a-dub-dub
And a rub-a-dub all day long
With a rub-a-dub-dub and a scrub-a-dub-dub
I'd sing this merry song!
If I were not in the CID
Something else I'd like to be
If I were not in the CID
A window cleaner me!
With a rub-a-dub-dub and a scrub-a-dub-dub
And a rub-a-dub all day long
With a rub-a-dub-dub and a scrub-a-dub-dub
I'd sing this merry song!
If I were not before the bar
Something else I'd like to be
If I were not a barr-is-ter
An engine driver me!
With a chuffchuffchuff
If you want to leave a message after the tone
Then speak clearly and I'll call you when I'm home
Just say your words and say your name
Leave the time and date you called
And I'll get back to you
Unless you're completely a boring old fart
If you want to leave a message after the tone
And darling please forgive me I'm not home
I'm out shopping or trying to buy a dress
So please leave your message unless you're in distress
Please leave a message after the tone
I'm so sorry this is taking me so long
I hope you're not calling from Australia
Or far from Singapore
Or this whole thing is costing you a fortune
As well as being a bore
Leave a message please leave me a message after the tone
Because ... alright I am! I am home!
I am I am I am!
I'm locked up in the bathroom all alone
Please leave a-me a message after the tone
We're Knights of the Round Table,
We dance when ere we're able,
We do routines and chorus scenes
With footwork impeccable.
We dine well here in Camelot,
We eat ham and jam and spam a lot.
We're Knights of the Round Table,
Our show are formidable,
But many times, we're given rhymes
That are quite unsingable.
We're Opera mad in Camelot,
We sing from the diaphragm
a looooooot.
In war we're tough and able,
Quite indefatigable,
Between our quests we sequin vests,
And impersonate Clark Gable.
It's a busy life in Camelot,
Ich bin ein Holzfäller und fühl mich stark
Ich schlaf des Nachts und hack am Tag
Er ist ein Holzfäller und fühlt sich stark
Er schlaft des Nachts und hackt am Tag
Ich fälle Bäume ich ess mein Brot
Ich geh auf das WC
Am Mittwoch geh ich shopping
Kau kekse zum kaffee
Er fällt die Bäume er isst sein Brot
Er geht auf das WC
Am Mittwoch geht er shopping
Kaut kekse zum kaffee
Er ist ein Holzfäller und fühlt sich stark
Er schlaft des Nachts und hackt am Tag
Ich fälle Bäume und hupf und spring
Steck Blumen in die Vas
Ich schlupf in Fraukenleider
Und lummel mich in Bars
Er fällt Bäume er hupft und springt
Steckt Blumen in die Vas
Er schlupft in Fraukenleider
Und lummelt sich in Bars...?
Er ist ein Holzfäller und fühlt sich stark
Er schlaft des Nachts und hackt am Tag
Ich fälle Bäume trag Stockelschuh
Und Strumpf und Bustenhalter
Wär gern ein kleines Mädchen
So wie mein Onkel Walter
Er fällt die Bäume tragt Stockelschuh
Und Strumpf und Bustenhalter...?
Can see a bare-bottomed mandril
Slyly eyeing his upper nostril
Ih he jumps inside there too
I really won't know what to do
I'll be a proud possessor of a kind of nasal zoo
A nasal zoo
I've got a ferret sticking up my nose
And what is worse it constantly explodes
Ferrest don't explode you say
But it happened nine times yesterday
And I should know 'cause each time
I was standing in the way
I've got a ferret sticking up my nose
I've got a ferret sticking up my nose
How it got there I can't tell
But now it's there it hurts like hell
And what is more it radically affects my sense of smell
Here comes another one
Here it comes again
Here comes another one
When will it ever end?
I know whatever it is
I've not seen one before
But here comes another one
And here comes a bunch of 'em
Here comes another one
Do what John? Do what John?
Come again do what?
Do what John? Do what John?
Do what? Do what? Do what?
Do where John? Do where John?
With what, with whom and when?
Terrific really terriffic
Pardon come again
Do what John? Do what John?
Come again do what?
Do what John? Do what John?
Do what? Do what? Do what?
Do where John? Do where John?
With what, with whom and when?
Terriffic realy terriffic
Pardon come again
Bing tiddle tiddle BANG
Bung tiddle tiddle bang
Bung tiddle tiddle tiddle tiddle tiddle
Bung tiddle tiddle BONG
Bung tiddle tiddle bing
Bung tiddle tiddle bang
Bing (tiddle tiddle)
Bang (tiddle tiddle)
Bong (tiddle tiddle tiddle tiddle)
Bang bong bing (tiddle tiddle)
Bang (tiddle tiddle)
Bong bang (tiddle tiddle tiddle tiddle)
Bing tiddle tiddle BANG
Bung tiddle tiddle bang
Bung tiddle tiddle tiddle tiddle tiddle
Bung tiddle tiddle BONG
Bung tiddle tiddle bing
Bung tiddle tiddle bang
Bing (tiddle tiddle)
Bang (tiddle tiddle)
Bong (tiddle tiddle tiddle tiddle)
Bang bong bing (tiddle tiddle)
Bang (tiddle tiddle)
Bong bang (tiddle tiddle tiddle tiddle)
Bong bang (tiddle tiddle tiddle tiddle)
Bing tiddle tiddle biiiiiing...
Orchestra
Leader:A-one, two, a-one two three four
Leader: Half a bee, philisophically,
Must ipso facto half not be.
But half a bee has got to be
Vis a vis it's entity.
-d'you see?
But can a bee be said to be
Or not to be an entire bee,
When
half the bee is not a bee,
Due to some ancient injury.
-Singing!...
All sing: La di di, one two three,
Eric the Half a Bee.
A B C D E F G,
Eric the Half a Bee.
Leader: Is this wretched demi-bee,
Half asleep upon my knee,
Some freak from a mena
gerie?
All yell: No! It's Eric the Half a Bee.
All sing: Fiddle di dum, fiddle di dee,
Eric the Half a Bee.
Ho ho ho, tee hee hee,
Eric the Half a Bee.
Leader: I love this hive employ-ee-ee,
Bisected accidentally,
One summer's afternoon by me,
I love him carnally.
All sing: He loves him carnally...
Leader: Semi-carnally.
(speaks)
The End.
Voice: Cyril Connolly?
Leader: No, semi-carnally.
Voice: Oh.
All sing: (Quietly)
Cyril Connolly
Intro: Right ho, darling. Yeh, be home
(spoken) about 8:30. No, no I'll go on a
bike.
Verse: Beethoven's gone but his music lives on,
And Mozart don't go shoppin' no more,
You'll never meet Liszt or Brahms again,
And Elgar doesn't answer t
he door.
Schübert and Chopin used to chuckle and laugh,
Whilst composing a long symphony,
But one hundred and fifty years later,
There's very little of them left to see.
Chorus: They're decomposing composers,
There's nothing much anyone can do,
ou can still hear Beethoven,
But Beethoven cannot hear you.
Verse: Händel and Haydn and Rachmaninov,
Enjoyed a nice drink with their meal,
But nowadays no-one will serve them,
And their gravy is left to congeal.
Verdi and Wagner delighted the cro
wds,
With their highly original sound,
The pianos they played are still working,
But they're both six feet underground.
Chorus: They're decomposing composers,
There's less of them every year,
You can say what you like to Debussy,
But there's not m
uch of him left to hear.
Finish: Claude Achille Debussy, died 1918.
Christophe Willebaud Gluck, died 1787.
Carl Maria von Weber, not at all well
1825, died 1826. Giacomo Meyerbeer,
still alive 1863, not still alive 1864.
Modeste Mussorgsky, 1880 g
oing to parties,
no fun anymore 1881. Johan Nepomuck
Hummel, chatting away nineteen to the
dozen with his mates down the pub every
Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable,
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy begger
Who could think you under the table,
David Hume could out-consume,
Wilhelm Freidrich Hegel.
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel.
There's nothing Nietzche couldn't teach ya
'Bout the raising of the wrist.
Socrates himself was permanently pissed.
John Stuart Mill, of his own free will
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.
Plato, they say could stick it away,
Half a crate of whiskey everyday.
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle,
Hobbes was fond of his dram,
And René DesCartes was a drunken fart
"I drink, therefore I am."
Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed,
Voice Over: And now a choice of viewing on BBC
Television. Just started on BBC2, the semi final of
Episode 3 of 'Kierkegaard's Journals', staring Richard
Chamberlain, Peggy Mount and Billy Bremer, and on BBC1,
'Ethel the Frog'
Introduction sort of music with Caption 'ETHEL THE
FROG' Cut to Presenter sitting behind desk)
Presenter: Good evening. On 'Ethel the Frog' tonight we
look at violence The violence of British Gangland. Last
Tuesday a reign of terror was ended when the notorious
Piranha brothers, Doug and Dinsdale, after one of the
most extraordinary trials in British legal history,
were sentenced to 400 years imprisonment for crimes of
violence. We examined the rise to power of the
Piranhas, the methods they used to subjugate rival
gangs and their subsequent tracking down and capture by
the brilliant Superintendent Harry 'Snapper' Organs of
Q Division. Doug and Dinsdale Piranha were born, on
probation, in a small house in Kipling Road, Southwark,
the eldest sons in a family of sixteen. Their father
Arthur Piranha, a scrap metal dealer and TV quizmaster,
was well known to the police, and a devout Catholic. In
1928 he had married Kitty Malone, an up-and-coming East
End boxer. Doug was born in February 1929 and Dinsdale
two weeks later; and again a week after that. Someone
who remembers them well was their next door neighbour,
Mrs April Simnel.
Mrs Simmel: Oh yes Kipling Road was a typical East End
Street, people were in and out of each other's houses
with each other's property all day. They were a cheery
lot.
Interviewer: Was it a terribly violent area
Mrs Simmel: Oh no......yes. Cheerful and violent. I
remember Doug was keen on boxing, but when he learned
to walk he took up putting the boot in the groin. He
was very interested in that. His mother had a terrible
job getting him to come in for tea. Putting his little
boot in he'd be, bless him. All the kids were like that
then, they didn't have their heads stuffed with all
this Cartesian dualism.
Presenter: At the age of fifteen Doug and Dinsdale
started attending the Ernest Pythagoras Primary School
in Clerkenwell. When the Piranhas left school they were
called up but were found by an Army Board to be too
unstable even for National Service. Denied the
opportunity to use their talents in the service of
their country, they began to operate what they called
'The Operation'... They would select a victim and then
threaten to beat him up if he paid the so-called
protection money. Four months later they started
another operation which the called 'The Other
Operation'. In this racket they selected another victim
and threatened not to beat him up if he didn't pay
them. One month later they hit upon 'The Other Other
Operation'. In this the victim was threatened that if
he didn't pay them, they would beat him up. This for
the Piranha brothers was the turning point.
(Cut to Superintendent Organs - Subtitle: Harry
"Snapper" Organs)
Organs: Doug and Dinsdale Piranha now formed a gang,
which the called 'The Gang' and used terror to take
over night clubs, billiard halls, gaming casinos and
race tracks. When they tried to take over the MCC they
were for the only time in their lives, slit up a treat.
As their empire spread however, Q Division were keeping
tabs on their every move by reading the colour
supplements.
Presenter: One small-time operator who fell foul of
Dinsdale Piranha was Vince Snetterton-Lewis.
Vince: "Well one day I was at home threatening the kids
when I looks out through the hole in the wall and sees
this tank pull up and out gets one of Dinsdale's boys,
so he comes in nice and friendly and says Dinsdale
wants to have a word with me, so he chains me to the
back of the tank and takes me for a scrape round to
Dinsdale's place and Dinsdale's there in the
conversation pit with Doug and Charles Paisley, the
baby crusher, and two film producers and a man they
called 'Kierkegaard', who just sat there biting the
heads of whippets and Dinsdale says 'I hear you've been
a naughty boy Clement' and he splits me nostrils open
and saws me leg off and pulls me liver out and I tell
him my name's not Clement and then... he loses his
temper and nails me head to the floor."
Interviewer: He nailed your head to the floor?
Vince: At first yeah
Presenter: Another man who had his head nailed to the
floor was Stig O' Tracy.
Interviewer: I've been told Dinsdale Piranha nailed
your head to the floor.
Stig: No. Never. He was a smashing bloke. He used to
buy his mother flowers and that. He was like a brother
to me.
Interviewer: But the police have film of Dinsdale
actually nailing your head to the floor.
Stig: (pause) Oh yeah, he did that.
Interviewer: Why?
Stig: Well he had to, didn't he? I mean there was
nothing else he could do, be fair. I had transgressed
the unwritten law.
Interviewer: What had you done?
Stig: Er... well he didn't tell me that, but he gave me
his word that it was the case, and that's good enough
for me with old Dinsy. I mean, he didn't *want* to nail
my head to the floor. I had to insist. He wanted to let
me off. He'd do anything for you, Dinsdale would.
Interviewer: And you don't bear him a grudge?
Stig: A grudge! Old Dinsy. He was a real darling.
Interviewer: I understand he also nailed your wife's
head to a coffee table. Isn't that true Mrs O' Tracy?
Mrs O' Tracy: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Stig: Well he did do that, yeah. He was a hard man.
Vicious but fair
(Cut back to vince)
Interviewer: Vince, after he nailed your head to the
floor, did you ever see him again
Vince: Yeah.....after that I used to go round his flat
every Sunday lunchtime to apologise and we'd shake
hands and then he'd nail my head to the floor
Interviewer: Every Sunday?
Vince: Yeah but he was very reasonable. Once, one
Sunday I told him my parents were coming round to tea
and would he mind very much not nailing my head that
week and he agreed and just screwed my pelvis to a cake
stand.
Presenter:Clearly Dinsdale inspired tremendous fear
among his business associates. But what was he really
like?
Gloria:I walked out with Dinsdale on many occasions and
found him a charming and erudite companion. He was wont
to introduce one to eminent celebrities, celebrated
American singers, members of the aristocracy and other
gang leaders,
Interviewer (off screen): How had he met them?
Gloria:Through his work for charities. He took a warm
interest in Boys' Clubs, Sailors' Homes, Choristers'
Associations and the Grenadier Guards.
Interviewer:Was there anything unusual about him?
Gloria:t him. I should say not. Except, that Dinsdale
was convinced that he was being watched by a giant
hedgehog whom he referred to as 'Spiny Norman'.
Interviewer: How big was Norman supposed to be?
Gloria:Normally Spiny Norman was wont to be about
twelve feet from snout to tail, but when Dinsdale was
depressed Norman could be anything up to eight hundred
yards long. When Norman was about Dinsdale would go
very quiet and start wobbling and his nose would swell
up and his teeth would move about and he'd get very
violent and claim that he'd laid Stanley Baldwin."
Interviewer: "Did it worry you that he, for example,
stitched people's legs together?"
Gloria: "Well it's better than bottling it up isn't it.
He was a gentleman, Dinsdale, and what's more he knew
how to treat a female impersonator."
Presenter:But what do the criminologists think? We
asked The Amazing Kargol and Janet:
Ciminologist:It is easy for us to judge Dinsdale
Piranha too harshly. After all he only did what many of
us simply dream of doing... I'm sorry. After all we
should remember that a murderer is only an extroverted
suicide. Dinsdale was a looney, but he was a happy
looney. Lucky bugger."
Presenter:Most of the strange tales concern Dinsdale,
but what about Doug? One man who met him was Luigi
Vercotti.
Vercotti: I had been running a successful escort agency
-- high class, no really, high class girls -- we didn't
have any of *that* -- that was right out. And I decided
(phone rings) Excuse me (he answers phone)
Hello......no, not
now......shtoom...shtoom....right......yes, we'll have
the watch ready for you at midnight.......the
watch.....the Chinese watch....yes, right-oh, bye-
bye.....mother (he hangs up phone) Anyway I decided to
open a high class night club for the gentry at
Biggleswade withInternational cuisine and cooking and
top line acts, and not a cheap clip joint for picking
up tarts -- that was right out, I deny that completely
--, and one evening in walks Dinsdale with a couple of
big lads, one of whom was carrying a tactical nuclear
missile. They said I had bought one of their fruit
machines and would I pay for it
2nd Interviewer: How much did they want?
Vercotti: They wanted three quarters of a million
pounds.
2nd Interviewer: Why didn't you call the police?
Vercotti: Well I had noticed that the lad with the
thermonuclear device was the chief constable for the
area. So a week later they called again and told me the
cheque had bounced and said... I had to see... Doug.
2nd Interviewer: Doug?
Vercotti: Doug (takes a drink) Well, I was terrified.
Everyone was terrified of Doug. I've seen grown men
pull their own heads off rather than see Doug. Even
Dinsdale was frightened of Doug.
2nd Interviewer: What did he do?
Vercotti: He used... sarcasm. He knew all the tricks,
dramatic irony, metaphor, bathos, puns, parody, litotes
and... satire. He was vicious.
Presenter:By a combination of violence and sarcasm, the
Piranha brothers by February 1966 controlled London and
the Southeast of England. It was in February, though,
that Dinsdale made a big mistake.
Gloria:Latterly Dinsdale had become increasingly
worried about Spiny Norman. He had come to the
conclusion that Norman slept in an aeroplane hangar at
Luton Airport.
Presenter:And so on Feb 22nd 1966, Dinsdale blew up
Luton. (shot of a H-Bomb exploding) Even the police
began to sit up and take notice.
(Cut back to 'Harry Snapper' Organs)
Organs: The Piranhas realised they had gone too far and
that the hunt was on. They went into hiding. I decided
on a subtle approach, viz. some form of disguise, as
the old helmet and boots are a bit of a giveaway.
Luckily my years with Bristol Rep. stood me in good
stead, as I assumed a bewildering variety of disguises.
I tracked them to Cardiff, posing as the Reverend
Smiler Egret. Hearing they'd gone back to London, I
assumed the identity of a pork butcher, Brian Stoats.
On my arrival in London, I discovered they had returned
to Cardiff, I followed as Gloucester from _King Lear_.
Acting on a hunch I spent several months in Buenos
Aires as Blind Pew, returning through the Panama Canal
as Ratty, in _Toad of Toad Hall_. Back in Cardiff, I
relived my triumph as Sancho Panza in _Man of la
Mancha_ which the "Bristol Evening Post" described as
'a glittering performance of rare perception', although
the "Bath Chronicle" was less than enthusiastic. In
fact it gave me a right panning. I quote
Voice Over: As for the performance of Superintendent
Harry "Snapper" Organs as Sancho Panza, the audience
were bemused by his high-pitched Welsh accent and
intimidated by his abusive ad-libs.
Organs (off screen):The "Western Daily News" said......
Voice over (John Cleese): 'Sancho Panza (Mr Organs)
spoilt an otherwise impeccably choreographed rape scene
by his unscheduled appearance and persistent cries of
Presenter (Eric Idle): Good evening. Tonight is indeed
a unique occasion in the history of television. We are
very privileged, and deeply honoured to have with us in
the studio, Karl Marx, founder of modern socialism, and
author of the 'Communist Manifesto'. (Karl Marx is
sitting at a desk; he nods) Vladimir Ilich Ulyanov,
better known to the world as Lenin, leader of the
Russian Revolution, writer, statesman, and father of
modern communism. (shot of Lenin also at desk; he nods)
Che Guevara, the Cuban guerrilla leader. (shot of
Guevara) And Mao Tse-tung, leader of the Chinese
Communist Party since 1949. (shot of Mao; the presenter
picks up a card) And the first question is for you,
Karl Marx. The Hammers - the Hammers is the nickname of
what English football team? 'the Hammers? (shot of Karl
Marx furrowing his brow- obviously he hasn't a clue)
No? Well bad luck there, Karl. So we'll go onto you
Che. Che Guevara - Coventry City last won the FA Cup in
what year? (cut to Che looking equally dumbfounded) No?
I'll throw it open. Coventry City last won the FA Cup
in what year? (they all look blank) No? Well, I'm not
surprised you didn't get that. It was in fact a trick
question. Coventry City have never won the FA Cup. So
with the scores all equal now we go onto our second
round, and Lenin it's your starter for ten. Teddy
Johnson and Pearl Carr won the Eurovision Song Contest
in 1959. What was the name of the song? ... Teddy
Johnson and Pearl Carr's song in the 1959 Eurovision
Song Contest? Anybody? (buzzer goes as in 'University
Challenge'.' zoom in on Mao Tse-tung) Yes, Mao Tse-
tung?
Mao Tse-tung: 'Sing Little Birdie'?
Presenter: Yes it was indeed. Well challenged.
(applause) Well now we come on to our special gift
section. The contestant is Karl Marx and the prize this
week is a beautiful lounge suite. (curtains behind the
presenter sweep open to reveal a beautiful lounge
suite; ternfic audience applause; Karl comes out and
stands in front of this display) Now Karl has elected
to, answer questions on the workers' control of
factories so here we go with question number one. Are
you nervous? (Karl nods his head; the presenter reads
from a card) The development of the industrial
proletariat is conditioned by what other development?
Karl: The development of the industrial bourgeoisie.
(applause)
Presenter: Yes, yes, it is indeed. You're on your way
to the lounge suite, Karl. Question number two. The
struggle of class against class is a what struggle? A
what struggle?
Karl: A political struggle.
(Tumultuous applause.)
Presenter: Yes, yes! One final question Karl and the
beautiful lounge suite will be yours... Are you going
to have a go? (Karl nods) You're a brave man. Karl
Marx, your final question, who won the Cup Final in
1949?
Karl: The workers' control of the means of production?
The struggle of the urban proletariat?
Presenter: No. It was in fact, Wolverhampton Wanderers
who beat Leicester 3-1.
(Cut to stock film of goal bring scored in a big
football match. Roar from crowd. Stock footage of
football crowds cheering.)
Voice Over: and CAPTION: 'IN "WORLD FORUM" TODAY: KARL
MARX, CHE GUEVARA, LENIN AND MAO TSE-TUNG. NEXT WEEK,
FOUR LEADING HEADS OF STATE OF THE AFRO-ASIAN NATIONS
I've got ninety thousand pounds in my pajamas
I've got forty thousand French francs in my fridge
I've got lost of lovely lira, now the deutsche mark's getting dearer
And my dollar bills would buy the Brooklyn Bridge
There is nothing quite as wonderful as money
There is nothing quite as beautiful as cash
Some people say it's folly but I'd rather have the lolly
With money you can make a splash
There is nothing quite wonderful as money
There is nothing like a newly minted pound
Everyone must hanker for the butchness of a banker
It's accountancy that makes the world go round
You can keep your Marxist ways
For it's only just a phase
For it's money, money, money makes the world go round
Good Morning
Morning, sir
Welcome to the National Cheese Emporium
Ah, thank you, my good man
What can I do for you, sir?
Well, I was sitting in the public library
On Thurmon Street just now
Skimming through Rogue Herrys by Hugh Walpole
And I suddenly came over all peckish
Peckish, sir?
Esuriant
'Ee, ah wor 'ungry-loike
Ah, hungry
In a nutshell, and I thought
To myself, A little fermented curd will do the trick
So I curtailed my Walpoling activites
Sallied forth and infiltrated your place
Of purveyance to negotiate the vending
Of some cheesy comestibles
Come again
I want to buy some cheese
Oh, I thought you were complaining
About the bazouki player
Oh, heaven forbid, I am one who delights
In all manifestations of the Terpsichorean muse
Sorry?
'Ooo, ah lahk a nice tuune, 'yer forced too
So he can go on playing, can he
Most certainly, now then
Some cheese please, my good man
Certainly, sir, what would you like?
Well, eh, how about a little red Leicester?
I'm afraid we're fresh out of red Leicester, sir
Oh, never mind, how are you on Tilsit?
I'm afraid we never have that at the end of the week
Sir, we get it fresh on Monday
Tish tish, no matter, well stout yeoman
Four ounces of Caerphilly, if you please
Ah, it's been on order, sir, for two weeks
Was expecting it this morning
T's not my lucky day, is it, aah, Bel Paese?
Sorry, sir
Red Windsor?
Normally, sir, yes, today the van broke down
Ah, Stilton?
Sorry
Ementhal, Gruyere?
Any Norweigan Jarlsburg, per chance?
Lipta?
Lancashire?
White Stilton?
Danish Brew?
Double Goucester?
Cheshire?
Dorset Bluveny?
Brie, Roquefort, Pol le Veq
Port Salut, Savoy Aire
Saint Paulin, Carrier de lest
Bres Bleu, Bruson?
Camenbert, perhaps?
Ah, we have Camenbert, yes, sir
You do, excellent
Yes, sir, it's, ah, it's a bit runny
Oh, I like it runny
Well, it's very runny, actually, sir
No matter, fetch hither
The fromage de la Belle France, mwah
I think it's a bit runnier
Than you'll like it, sir
I don't care how fucking runny it is
Hand it over with all speed
What now?
The cat's eaten it
Has he?
She, sir
Gouda?
Edam?
Case Ness?
Smoked Austrian?
Japanese Sage Darby?
No, sir
You do have some cheese, do you?
Of course, sir, it's a cheese shop, sir, we've got
No, no, don't tell me, I'm keen to guess
Fair enough
Uh, Wensleydale?
Ah, well, I'll have some of that
Oh, I thought you were talking to me, sir
Mister Wensleydale, that's my name
Greek Feta?
Uh, not as such
Uuh, Gorgonzola?
Parmesan?
Mozarella?
Paper Cramer?
Danish Bimbo?
Czech sheep's milk?
Venezuelan Beaver Cheese?
Not today, sir, no
Aah, how about Cheddar?
Well, we don't get much call for it around here, sir
Not much call, it's the single most
Popular cheese in the world
Not 'round here, sir
And what is the most
Popular cheese 'round here?
Illchester, sir
Is it?
Oh, yes, it's staggeringly
Popular in this manusquire
Is it?
It's our number one best seller, sir
I see, uh, Illchester, eh
Right, sir?
All right, okay, have you got any?
He asked expecting the answer 'No'
I'll have a look, sir, umh, no
It's not much of a cheese shop, is it?
Finest in the district
Explain the logic underlying that conclusion, please
Well, it's so clean, sir
It's certainly uncontaminated by cheese
You haven't asked me about Limburger, sir
Is it worth it?
Could be
Have you, shut that bloody bazouki up
Told you sir
Have you got any Limburger?
Figures, predictable, really I suppose
It was an act of purest optimism
To have posed the question in the first place
Tell me?
Yes, sir
Have you, in fact, got any cheese here at all?
Yes, sir
Really?
No, not really, sir
You haven't?
No, sir, not a scrap
I was deliberately
Wasting your time, sir
Well, I'm sorry, but I'm going
To have to shoot you
Right-o, sir
THE MEANING OF LIFE
-------------------
THE MIRACLE OF BIRTH
PART 2
THE THIRD WORLD
Yorkshire
[A northern street. Dad is marching home. We see his
house. A stork flies above it, and drops a baby down
the chimney.]
Oh bloody hell.
[Inside the house. A pregnant woman is at the sink.
With a cry a new-born baby, complete with umbilical
cord, drops from between her legs onto the floor.]
MOTHER
Get that would you, Deirdre...
GIRL
All right, Mum.
[The girl takes the baby. Mum carries on.]
[Dad comes up to the door and pushes it open sadly.
Inside there are at least forty children, of various
ages, packed into the living room.]
MOTHER
[with tray] Whose teatime is it?
SCORES OF VOICES
Me, mum...
MOTHER
Vincent, Tessa, Valerie, Janine, Martha, Andrew,
Thomas, Walter, Pat, Linda, Michael, Evadne, Alice,
Dominique, and Sasha... it's your bedtime!
CHILDREN
[all together] Oh, Mum!
MOTHER
Don't argue... Laura, Alfred, Nigel, Annie, Simon,
Amanda...
Wait...
[They all listen.]
I've got something to tell the whole family.
[All stop... A buzz of excitement.]
MOTHER
[to her nearest son] Quick... go and get the others in,
Gordon!
[Gordon goes out. Another twenty or so children enter
the room. They squash in at the back as best they can.]
The mill's closed. There's no more work, we're
destitute.
[Lots of cries of 'Oh no!'... 'Cripes'... 'Heck'...
from around the room.]
I've got no option but to sell you all for scientific
experiments. [The children protest with heart-rending
pleas.] No no, that's the way it is my loves... Blame
the Catholic church for not letting me wear one of
those little rubber things... Oh they've done some
wonderful things in their time, they preserved the
might and majesty, even the mystery of the Church of
Rome, the sanctity of the sacrament and the indivisible
oneness of the Trinity, but if they'd let me wear one
of the little rubber things on the end of my cock we
wouldn't be in the mess we are now.
LITTLE BOY
Couldn't Mummy have worn some sort of pessary?
Not if we're going to remain members of the fastest
growing religion in the world, my boy... You see, we
believe... well, let me put it like this...
[sings]
There are Jews in the world,
There are Buddhists,
There are Hindus and Mormons and then,
There are those that follow Mohammed,
But I've never been one of them...
I'm a Roman Catholic,
And have been since before I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics,
Is they'll take you as soon as you're warm...
You don't have to be a six-footer,
You don't have to have a great brain,
You don't have to have any clothes on -
You're a Catholic the minute Dad came...
Because...
Every sperm is sacred,
Every sperm is great,
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.
CHILDREN
Every sperm is sacred,
Every sperm is great,
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.
CHILD
[solo] Let the heathen spill theirs,
On the dusty ground,
God shall make them pay for,
Each sperm that can't be found.
CHILDREN
Every sperm is wanted,
Every sperm is good,
Every sperm is needed,
In your neighborhood.
MOTHER
[solo] Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care.
MEN NEIGHBORS
[peering out of toilets]
Every sperm is sacred,
Every sperm is great,
WOMEN NEIGHBORS
[on wall]
If a sperm is wasted,
CHILDREN
God get quite irate.
PRIEST
[in church] Every sperm is sacred,
BRIDE AND GROOM
Every sperm is good.
NANNIES
Every sperm is needed.
CARDINALS
[in prams] In your neighborhood!
CHILDREN
Every sperm is useful,
Every sperm is fine,
FUNERAL CORTEGE
God needs everybody's,
FIRST MOURNER
Mine!
LADY MOURNER
And mine!
CORPSE
And mine!
[solo] Though the pagans spill theirs,
O'er mountain, hill and plain,
VARIOUS ARTIFACTS IN A ROMAN CATHOLIC SOUVENIR SHOP
God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain.
EVERYBODY
Every sperm is sacred,
Every sperm is good,
Every sperm is needed,
In your neighborhood.
EVEN MORE THAN EVERYBODY, INCLUDING TWO FIRE-EATERS, A
JUGGLER, A CLOWN AT A PIANO AND A STILT-WALKER RIDING A
BICYCLE
Every sperm is sacred,
Every sperm is great,
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.
[Everybody cheers (including the fire-eaters, the
juggler, the clown at the piano and the stilt-walker
riding the bicycle). Fireworks go off, a Chinese dragon
is brought on and flags of all nations are unfurled
overhead.]
[Back inside.]
So you see my problem, little ones... I can't keep you
here any longer.
SHOUT FROM THE BACK
Speak up!
[raising his voice] I can't keep you here any longer...
God has blessed us so much that I can't afford to feed
you anymore.
Couldn't you have your balls cut off...?
It's not as simple as that Nigel... God knows all... He
would see through such a cheap trick. What we do to
ourselves, we do to Him...
VOICE
You could have them pulled off in an accident?
[Other voices suggest ways his balls can be removed.]
No... no... children... I know you're trying to help
but believe me, my mind's made up. I've given this long
and careful thought. And it's medical experiments for
the lot of you...
[The children emerge singing a melancholy reprise of
'Every Sperm is Sacred.']
[They are being watched from another Northern house.]
MR. BLACKITT
Look at them, bloody Catholics. Filling the bloody
world up with bloody people they can't afford to bloody
feed.
MRS. BLACKITT
What are we dear?
MR. BLACKITT
Protestant, and fiercely proud of it...
MRS. BLACKITT
Why do they have so many children...?
MR. BLACKITT
Because every time they have sexual intercourse they
have to have a baby.
MRS. BLACKITT
But it's the same with us, Harry.
MR. BLACKITT
What d'you mean...?
MRS. BLACKITT
Well I mean we've got two children and we've had sexual
intercourse twice.
MR. BLACKITT
That's not the point... We *could* have it any time we
wanted.
MRS. BLACKITT
Really?
MR. BLACKITT
Oh yes. And, what's more, because we don't believe in
all that Papist claptrap we can take precautions.
MRS. BLACKITT
What, you mean lock the door...?
MR. BLACKITT
No no, I mean, because we are members of the Protestant
Reformed Church which successfully challenged the
autocratic power of the Papacy in the mid-sixteenth
century, we can wear little rubber devices to prevent
issue.
MRS. BLACKITT
What do you mean?
MR. BLACKITT
I could, if I wanted, have sexual intercourse with
you...
MRS. BLACKITT
Oh, yes... Harry...
MR. BLACKITT
And by wearing a rubber sheath over my old feller I
could ensure that when I came off... you would not be
impregnated.
MRS. BLACKITT
Ooh!
MR. BLACKITT
That's what being a Protestant's all about. That's why
it's the church for me. That's why it's the church for
anyone who respects the individual and the individual's
right to decide for him or herself. When Martin Luther
nailed his protest up to the church door in 1517, he
may not have realized the full significance of what he
was doing. But four hundred years later, thanks to him,
my dear, I can wear whatever I want on my John Thomas.
And Protestantism doesn't stop at the simple condom. Oh
no! I can wear French Ticklers if I want.
MRS. BLACKITT
You what?
MR. BLACKITT
French Ticklers... Black Mambos... Crocodile Ribs...
Sheaths that are designed not only to protect but also
to enhance the stimulation of sexual congress...
MRS. BLACKITT
Have you got one?
MR. BLACKITT
Have I got one? Well no... But I can go down the road
any time I want and walk into Harry's and hold my head
up high, and say in a loud steady voice: 'Harry I want
you to sell me a *condom*. In fact today I think I'll
have a French Tickler, for I am a Protestant...'
MRS. BLACKITT
Well why don't you?
MR. BLACKITT
But they... [He points at the stream of children still
pouring past the house.]... they cannot. Because their
church never made the great leap out of the Middle
Ages, and the domination of alien episcopal supremacy!
the Adventures of
MARTIN
LUTHER
JESUS CHRIST: How blest are the sorrowful. They shall
find consolation. How blest are those of gentle spirit.
They shall have the earth for their possession. How
blest are those who hunger and thirst to see right
prevail.
RANDOM: [cough cough]
MANDY: Speak up!
MAN: Shh.
BRIAN: Quiet, Mum.
MANDY: Well, I can't hear a thing.
MANDY: Let's go t' the stoning.
MR. BIG NOSE
Shh.
BRIAN: You can go to a stoning any time.
MANDY: Oh, come on, Brian.
MR. BIG NOSE: Will you be quiet?!
MRS. BIG NOSE: Don't pick your nose.
MR. BIG NOSE: I wasn't picking my nose. I was
scratching.
MRS. BIG NOSE: You was picking it, while you was
talking to that lady.
MR. BIG NOSE: I wasn't!
MRS. BIG NOSE: Leave it alone. Give it a rest.
MR. CHEEKY: Do you mind? I can't hear a word he's
saying.
MRS. BIG NOSE: Don't you 'do you mind' me. I was
talking to my husband.
MR. CHEEKY: Well, go and talk to him somewhere else. I
can't hear a bloody thing.
MR. BIG NOSE: Don't you swear at my wife.
MR. CHEEKY: I was only asking her to shut up, so I can
hear what he's saying, Big Nose.
MRS. BIG NOSE: Don't you call my husband 'Big Nose'!
MR. CHEEKY: Well, he has got a big nose.
GREGORY: Could you be quiet, please?
JESUS: They shall have the earth...
GREGORY: What was that?
JESUS: ...for their possession. How blest are those...
MR. CHEEKY: I don't know. I was too busy talking to Big
Nose.
JESUS: ...who hunger and thirst to see...
MAN #1: I think it was 'Blessed are the cheesemakers.'
JESUS: ...right prevail.
MRS. GREGORY: Ahh, what's so special about the
cheesemakers?
GREGORY: Well, obviously, this is not meant to be taken
literally. It refers to any manufacturers of dairy
products.
MR. CHEEKY: See? If you hadn't been going on, we'd have
heard that, Big Nose.
JESUS: How blest are those who...
MR. BIG NOSE: Hey. Say that once more; I'll smash your
bloody face in.
MRS. GREGORY: Ohh.
MR. CHEEKY: Better keep listening. Might be a bit about
'Blessed are the big noses.'
BRIAN: Oh, lay off him.
MR. CHEEKY: Oh, you're not so bad yourself, Conkface.
Where are you two from? Nose City?
MR. BIG NOSE: One more time, mate; I'll take you to the
fuckin' cleaners!
MRS. BIG NOSE: Language!
JESUS: ...hunger and thirst to see...
MRS. BIG NOSE: And don't pick your nose.
JESUS: ...right prevail.
MR. BIG NOSE: I wasn't going to pick my nose. I was
going to thump him!
MAN #2: You hear that? Blessed are the Greek.
GREGORY: The Greek?
MAN #2: Mmm. Well, apparently, he's going to inherit
the earth.
GREGORY: Did anyone catch his name?
MRS. BIG NOSE: You're not going to thump anybody.
MR. BIG NOSE: I'll thump him if he calls me 'Big Nose'
again.
MR. CHEEKY: Oh, shut up, Big Nose.
MR. BIG NOSE: Ah! All right. I warned you. I really
will slug you so hard--
MRS. BIG NOSE: Oh, it's the meek! Blessed are the meek!
Oh, that's nice, isn't it? I'm glad they're getting
something, 'cause they have a hell of a time.
MR. CHEEKY: Listen. I'm only telling the truth. You
have got a very big nose.
MR. BIG NOSE: Hey. Your nose is going to be three foot
wide across your face by the time I've finished with
you!
MAN #1 and
MAN #2: Shhh.
MR. CHEEKY: Well, who hit yours, then? Goliath's big
brother?
MR. BIG NOSE: Oh. Right. That's your last warning.
MRS. GREGORY: Oh, do pipe down.
[MR. BIG NOSE slugs MRS. GREGORY]
[MR. BIG NOSE and GREGORY fight]
GREGORY: Oh!
MRS. GREGORY: Awa?
MR. BIG NOSE: Silly bitch. Get in the way on me?...
MRS. GREGORY: Ow!...
MR. BIG NOSE: Break it up-- oh. Oh!
MANDY: Oh, come on. Let's go to the stoning.
BRIAN: All right.
[music]
FRANCIS: Well, blessed is just about everyone with a
vested interest in the status quo, as far as I can
tell, Reg.
REG: Yeah. Well, what Jesus blatantly fails to
appreciate is that it's the meek who are the problem.
JUDITH: Yes, yes. Absolutely, Reg. Yes, I see.
MANDY: Oh, come on, Brian, or they'll have stoned him
before we get there.
BRIAN: All right.
MR. CHEEKY: Hey. Get off her. That's disgusting. Stop
trying to do that. Hey, officer, intervene here.
Attempted rape going on. It's the chap with the big
Bravely bold Sir Robin rode forth from Camelot
He was not afraid to die, O brave Sir Robin
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin
He was not in the least bit scared
to be mashed into a pulp
Or to have his eyes gouged out and his elbows broken
To have his kneecaps split and his body burned away
And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin
His head smashed in and his heart cut out
And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged
And his nostrils raped and his bottom
burnt off and his penis...
He is brave Sir Robin,
Brave Sir Robin who...
To fight and...............
Brave Sir Robin ran away (NO!)
Bravely, ran away...away... (I didn't)
When danger reared its ugly head
He bravely turned his tail and fled
Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about
And gallantly he chickened out
Bravely taking to his feet (I never did!)
He beat a very brave retreat
Bravest of the brave, Sir Robin
He is packing it in and packing it up
And sneaking away and buggering up
And chickening out and pissing off home,
Man (Eric Idle): You sit here, dear.
Wife (Graham Chapman in drag): All right.
Man (to Waitress): Morning!
Waitress (Terry Jones, in drag as a bit of a rat-bag):
Morning!
Man: Well, what've you got?
Waitress: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and
bacon; egg and spam;
egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam
bacon sausage
and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam; spam
sausage spam spam
bacon spam tomato and spam;
Vikings (starting to chant): Spam spam spam spam...
Waitress: ...spam spam spam egg and spam; spam spam
spam spam spam spam baked
beans spam spam spam...
Vikings (singing): Spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam!
Waitress: ...or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a
mornay sauce served in a
Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines
garnished with
truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and
spam.
Wife: Have you got anything without spam?
Waitress: Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam,
that's not got much spam in
Wife: I don't want ANY spam!
Man: Why can't she have egg bacon spam and sausage?
Wife: THAT'S got spam in it!
Man: Hasn't got as much spam in it as spam egg sausage
and spam, has it?
Vikings: Spam spam spam spam (crescendo through next
few lines)
Wife: Could you do the egg bacon spam and sausage
without the spam then?
Waitress: Urgghh!
Wife: What do you mean 'Urgghh'? I don't like spam!
Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!)
Waitress: Shut up!
Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Waitress: Shut up! (Vikings stop) Bloody Vikings! You
can't have egg bacon
spam and sausage without the spam.
Wife (shrieks): I don't like spam!
Man: Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your
spam. I love it.
I'm having spam spam spam spam spam spam spam beaked
beans spam spam
spam and spam!
Vikings (singing): Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam!
Wonderful spam!
Waitress: Shut up!! Baked beans are off.
Man: Well could I have her spam instead of the baked
beans then?
Waitress: You mean spam spam spam spam spam spam...
(but it is too late and
the Vikings drown her words)
Vikings (singing elaborately): Spam spam spam spam.
Lovely spam! Wonderful
spam! Spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam.
Lovely spam!
Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam!
Spam spam
Announcer: And now, here is a magnificent recording
made in the Wide Valley, of an ordinary travel agents
office. Note the huge-breasted typist in the
background.
Smoketoomuch: Good morning.
Secretary: Oh, good morning. (sexily) Uhm, do you want
to come upstairs?
Smoketoomuch: Beg your pardon?
Secretary: (sexily) Do you want to come upstairs?
(brightly) Oh, or have you come to arrange a holiday?
Smoketoomuch: Uuh..to...to arrange a holiday.
Secretary: Oh, sorry.
Smoketoomuch: What's all this about coming upstairs?
Secretary: Oh, nothing, nothing. Now, where were you
thinking of going?
Smoketoomuch: India.
Secretary: Ah, one of our adventure holidays.
Smoketoomuch: Yes.
Secretary: Well, you'd better see Mr. Bounder about
that. Uh, Mr. Bounder, this gentleman is interested in
the "India Overland".
Bounder: Morning, I'm Bounder of Adventure.
Smoketoomuch: Hello, I'm Smoketoomuch.
Bounder: Well, you'd better cut down a little then.
Smoketoomuch: I'm sorry?
Bounder: You'd better cut down a little then.
Smoketoomuch: Oh, I see! Smoke too much so I'd better
cut down a little then!
Bounder: Yes, ha ha... I expect you get people making
jokes about your name all the time, eh?
Smoketoomuch: No, I never noticed it before.
Bounder: So, you are interested in one of our adventure
holidays, are you?
Smoketoomuch: Yes, I saw your advert in the bolour
supplement.
Bounder: The what?
Smoketoomuch: The bolour supplement.
Bounder: The colour supplement.
Smoketoomuch: Yes, I'm sorry, I can't say the letter
'B'.
Bounder: C?
Smoketoomuch: Yes, that's right. It's all due to a
trauma I suffered when I was a sboolboy. I was attacked
by a bat.
Bounder: A cat?
Smoketoomuch: No, a bat.
Bounder: Oh...can you say the letter 'K'?
Smoketoomuch: Oh, yes. Khaki, kind, kettle, Kipling,
kipper, Kuwait, Keble Bollege Oxford.
Bounder: Yes, yes but why don't you use the letter 'K'
instead of the letter 'C'?
Smoketoomuch: What, spell bolour with a 'K'?
Bounder: Yes!
Smoketoomuch: Kolour!
Oh, thank you! I never thought of that. What a silly
bunt.
Bounder: Anyway, about the holiday...
Smoketoomuch: Well, yes, I've been on package tours
many times, so your advert really bought my eye.
Bounder: Ah good.
Smoketoomuch: Yes, you're quite right, I'm fed up with
being treated like a sheep, I mean what's the point of
going abroad if you're just another tourist carted
round in buses, surrounded by sweaty, mindless oafs
from Kettering and Boventry...
Bounder: Absolutel..
Smoketoomuch: ...in their cloth caps and their
cardigans and their transistor radios and their 'Sunday
Mirrors', complaining about the tea, 'Oh they don't
make it properly here do they not like at home'
stopping at Majorcan bodegas, selling fish and chips
and Watney's Red Barrel and calamares and two veg...
Bounder: Yes.
Smoketoomuch: ...and sitting in their cotton sun frocks
squirting Timothy White's suncream all over their puffy
raw swollen purulent flesh...
Bounder: Yes.
Smoketoomuch: ...cos they 'overdid it on the first
day'! And being herded into endless Hotel Miramars and
Bellevueses and Bontinentals...
Bounder: Yes, yes...
Smoketoomuch: ...with their modern international luxury
roomettes and draft Red Barrel and swimmingpools...
Bounder: Yes.
Smoketoomuch: ...full of fat German businessmen
pretending they're acrobats, forming pyramids and
frightening the children and barging in the queues and
if you're not at your table spot on seven you miss the
bowl of Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup,...
Bounder: Shut up.
Smoketoomuch: ...the first item on the menu of
International Cuisine,...
Bounder: Shut up, please!
Smoketoomuch: ...and every Thursday night the hotel is
a bloody cabaret in the bar featuring a tiny emaciated
dago...
Bounder: Please, will you shut up.
Smoketoomuch: ...with nine-inch hips and some bloated
fat tart with her hair Brylcreemed down and a big arse
presenting Flamenco for Foreigners.
Bounder: Shut up!
Smoketoomuch: And adenoidal typists from Birmingham
with flabby white legs and diarrhoea trying to pick up
hairy...
Bounder: Please..
Smoketoomuch: ...bandy-legged wop waiters called
Manuel,...
Bounder: ..shut up!
Smoketoomuch: ...and once a week there's an excursion
to the local Roman ruins to buy cherryade and melted
ice cream...
Bounder: I can't bear it!
Smoketoomuch: ...and bleedin' Watney's Red Barrel, and
one evening you visit the so-called typical restaurant
with local colour...
Bounder: Shaddap!
Smoketoomuch: ...and atmosphere and you sit next to a
party of people from Rhyl who keeps singing
'Torremolinos, Torremolinos', and complaining about the
food, 'It's so greasy here isn't it!' and you get
cornered by some drunken greengrocer from Luton with an
Instamatic and Dr Scholl sandals and Tuesday's 'Daily
Express' and he drones on and on and on about how Mr
Smith should be running this country and how many...
Bounder: Stop it, please.
Smoketoomuch: ...languages Enoch Powell can speak and
then he throws up all over the Cuba Libres.
Bounder: Will you be quiet please.
Smoketoomuch: And sending tinted postcards of places
they don't realise they haven't even visited, 'to
all...
Bounder: Shut up
Smoketoomuch: ...at number 22, weather wonderful...
Bounder: PLEASE, SHUT UP!
Smoketoomuch: ...our room is marked with an "X". Food
very greasy but we found a charming...
Bounder: Take it off! TAKE IT OFF!
Smoketoomuch: ...little place hidden away in the back
streets, where they serve Watney's Red Barrel and
cheese and onion...
Bounder: For God's sake, take it off. TAKE IT OFF!!!
Smoketoomuch: ...crisps and the accordionist plays
"Maybe its because I'm a Londoner"'...
Tourist: Good morining
Secretary: Oh good morning, Do you want to come
upstairs?
Tourist: What?
Secretary: Do you want to come upstairs? Or have you
come to arrange a holiday?
Tourist: Er.......to arrange a holiday
Secretary: Oh sorry
Tourist: What's all this about going upstairs?
Secretary: Oh, nothing, nothing. Now where were you
thinking of going?
Tourist: India
Secretary: Ah one of our adventure holidays
Tourist: Yes
Secretary: Well you'd better see Mr Bounder about that.
(Calls out to Mr Bounder) Mr Bounder, this gentleman is
interested in the India Overland
(walks over to Mr Bounder's desk)
Bounder: Ah good morning. I'm Bounder of Adventure
Tourist: My name is Smoke-too-much
Bounder: Well you'd better cut down a little then
Tourist: What?
Bounder: You'd better cut down a little then
Tourist: Oh I see! Cut down a little then.....
Bounder: Yes...I expect you get people making jokes
about your name all the time?
Tourist: No, no actually it never struck me before.
Smoke...to...much....(laughs)
Bounder: Anyway you're interested in one of our
adventure holidays?
Tourist: Yes I saw your advert in the bolour supplement
Bounder: The what?
Tourist: The bolour supplement
Bounder: The colour supplement?
Tourist: Yes I'm sorry I can't say the letter 'B'
Bounder: C?
Tourist: Yes that's right. It's all due to a trauma I
suffered when I was a spoolboy. I was attacked by a bat
Bounder: A cat?
Tourist: No a bat
Bounder: Can you say the letter 'K'
Tourist: Oh yes, Khaki, king, kettle, Kuwait, Keble
Bollege Oxford
Bounder: Why don't you say the letter 'K' instead of
the letter 'C'
Tourist: what you mean.....spell bolour with a K
Bounder: Yes
Tourist: Kolour. Oh that's very good, I never thought
of that what a silly bunt
Bounder: Anyway about the holiday
Tourist: Well I saw your adverts in the paper and I've
been on package tours several times you see, and I
decided that this was for me
Bounder: Ah good
Tourist: Yes I quite agree I mean what's the point of
being treated like sheep. What's the pointof going
abroad if you're just another tourist carted around in
buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering
and Coventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans
and their transistor radios and their Sunday Mirrors,
complaining about the tea - "Oh they don't make it
properly here, do they, not like at home" - and
stopping at Majorcan bodegas selling fish and chips and
Watney's Red Barrel and calamares and two veg and
sitting in their cotton frocks squirting Timothy
White's suncream all over their puffy raw swollen
purulent flesh 'cos they "overdid it on the first day."
Bounder: (agreeing patiently) Yes absolutely, yes I
quite agree...
Tourist: And being herded into endless Hotel Miramars
and Bellvueses and Continentales with their modern
international luxury roomettes and draught Red Barrel
and swimming pools full of fat German businessmen
pretending they're acrobats forming pyramids and
frightening the children and barging into queues and if
you're not at your table spot on seven you miss the
bowl of Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup, the first
item on the menu of International Cuisine, and every
Thursday night the hotel has a bloody cabaret in the
bar, featuring a tiny emaciated dago with nine-inch
hips and some bloated fat tart with her hair
brylcreemed down and a big arse presenting Flamenco for
Foreigners.
Bounder: (beggining to get fed up) Yes, yes now......
Tourist: And then some adenoidal typists from
Birmingham with flabby white legs and diarrhoea trying
to pick up hairy bandy-legged wop waiters called Manuel
and once a week there's an excursion to the local Roman
Remains to buy cherryade and melted ice cream and
bleeding Watney's Red Barrel and one evening you visit
the so called typical restaurant with local colour and
atmosphere and you sit next to a party from Rhyl who
keep singing "Torremolinos, torremolinos" and
complaining about the food - "It's so greasy isn't it?"
- and you get cornered by some drunken greengrocer from
Luton with an Instamatic camera and Dr. Scholl sandals
and last Tuesday's Daily Express and he drones on and
on about how Mr. Smith should be running this country
and how many languages Enoch Pow ell can speak and then
he throws up over the Cuba Libres.
Bounder: Will you be quiet please
Tourist: And sending tinted postcards of places they
don't realise they haven't even visited to "All at
number 22, weather wonderful, our room is marked with
an 'X'.
Bounder: Shut up
Tourist: Food very greasy but we've found a charming
little local place hidden away in the back streets
Bounder: Shut up!
Tourist: where they serve Watney's Red Barrel and
cheese and onion.......
Bounder: Shut up your bloody gob....
Tourist: crisps and the accordionist plays 'Maybe it's
because I'm a Londoner'." And spending four days on the
tarmac at Luton airport on a five-day package tour with
nothing to eat but dried BEA-type sandwiches and you
can't even get a drink of Watney's Red Barrel because
you're still in England and the bloody bar closes every
time you're thirsty and there's nowhere to sleep and
the kids are crying and vomiting and breaking the
plastic ash-trays and they keep telling you it'll only
be another hour although your plane is still in Iceland
and has to take some Swedes to Yugoslavia before it can
load you up at 3 a.m. in the bloody morning and you sit
on the tarmac till six because of "unforeseen
difficulties", i.e. the permanent strike of Air Traffic
Control in Paris - and nobody can go to the lavatory
until you take off at 8, and when you get to Malaga
airport everybody's swallowing "enterovioform" and
queuing for the toilets and queuing for the armed
customs officers, and queuing for the bloody bus that
isn't there to take you to the hotel that hasn't yet
been finished. And when you finally get to the half-
built Algerian ruin called the Hotel del Sol by paying
half your holiday money to a licensed bandit in a taxi
you find there's no water in the pool, there's no water
in the taps, there's no water in the bog and there's
only a bleeding lizard in the bidet. And half the rooms
are double booked and you can't sleep anyway because of
the permanent twenty-four-hour drilling of the
foundations of the hotel next door - and you're plagues
by appalling apprentice chemists from Ealing pretending
to be hippies, and middle-class stockbrokers' wives
busily buying identical holiday villas in suburban
development plots just like Esher, in case the Labour
government gets in again, and fat American matrons with
sloppy-buttocks and Hawaiian-patterned ski pants
looking for any mulatto male who can keep it up long
enough when they finally let it all flop out. And the
Spanish Tourist Board promises you that the raging
cholera epidemic is merely a case of mild Spanish
tummy, like the previous outbreak of Spanish tummy in
1660 which killed half London and decimated Europe -
and meanwhile the bloody Guardia are busy arresting
sixteen-year-olds for kissing in the streets and
shooting anyone under nineteen who doesn't like Franco.
And then on the last day in the airport lounge
everyone's comparing sunburns, drinking Nasty Spumante,
buying cartons of duty free "cigarillos" and using up
their last pesetas on horrid dolls in Spanish National
costume and awful straw donkeys and bullfight posters
with your name on "Ordoney, El Cordobes and Brian Pules
of Norwich" and 3-D pictures of the Pope and Kennedy
and Franco, and everybody's talking about coming again
next year and you swear you never will although there
you are tumbling bleary-eyed out of a tourist-tight
MR. TID: Gentlemen, we have two basic suggestions for
the design of this--
GUMBYS: Up there!...
MR. TID: Gentlemen, we have two basic suggestions for
the design of this--
GUMBYS: Architects! Up there! Up ther--
MR. TID: Shut up! Gentlemen, we have two basic
suggestions--
GUMBYS: Boring! Boring! Boring! Boring!... (splash)
MR. TID: Gentlemen, we have two basic suggestions for
the design of this architectural block, the residential
block, and I thought it best that the architects
themselves came in to explain the advantages of both
designs.
(knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock
knock)
That must be the first architect now. Ah, yes. It's Mr.
Wiggin of Ironside and Malone.
MR. WIGGIN: Good morning, gentlemen. Uh, this is a
twelve-storey block combining classical neo-Georgian
features with all the advantages of modern design. Uhh,
the tenants arrive in the entrance hall here, are
carried along the corridor on a conveyor belt in
extreme comfort and past murals depicting Mediterranean
scenes, towards the rotating knives. The last twenty
feet of the corridor are heavily soundproofed. The
blood pours down these chutes and the mangled flesh
slurps into these large contai--
CITY GENT #1: Excuse me.
MR. WIGGIN: Hmm?
CITY GENT #1: Uh, did you say 'knives'?
MR. WIGGIN: Uh, rotating knives. Yes.
CITY GENT #2: Are you, uh, proposing to slaughter our
tenants?
MR. WIGGIN: Does that not fit in with your plans?
CITY GENT #1: No, it does not. Uh, we-- we wanted a...
simple... block of flats.
MR. WIGGIN: Ahh, I see. I hadn't, uh, correctly divined
your attitude...
CITY GENT #: Uh, huh huh.
MR. WIGGIN: ...towards your tenants.
CITY GENT #: Huh huh.
MR. WIGGIN: You see, I mainly design slaughter houses.
CITY GENT #1: Yes. Pity.
MR. WIGGIN: Mind you, this is a real beaut. I mean,
none of your blood caked on the walls and flesh flying
out of the windows inconveniencing passers-by with this
one. I mean, my life has been building up to this.
CITY GENT #2: Yes, and well done, huh, but we did want
a block of flats.
MR. WIGGIN: Well, may I ask you to reconsider? I mean,
you wouldn't regret it. Think of the tourist trade.
CITY GENT #1: No, no, it's-- it's just that we wanted a
block of flats and not an abattoir.
MR. WIGGIN: Yes, well, that's the sort of blinkered,
philistine pig ignorance I've come to expect from you
non-creative garbage. You sit there on your loathsome,
spotty behinds squeezing blackheads, not caring a
tinker's cuss for the struggling artist. You excrement!
You whining, hypocritical toadies, with your colour TV
sets and your Tony Jacklin golf clubs and your bleeding
Masonic secret handshakes! You wouldn't let me join,
would you, you blackballing bastards! Well, I wouldn't
become a freemason now if you went down on your lousy,
stinking knees and begged me!
CITY GENT #2: Well, we're sorry you feel like that, but
we, um, did... want... a block of flats. Nice, though,
the abattoir is. Huh huh.
MR. WIGGIN: Oh, p-p-p-p the abattoir.
(He dashes forward and kneels in front of them.)
That's not important, but if one of you could put in a
word for me, I'd love to be a freemason. Freemasonry
opens doors. I mean, um, I-- I was a bit on edge just
now, but-- but if I was a mason, I'd just sit at the
back and not get in anyone's way.
CITY GENT #1: Thank you.
MR. WIGGIN: I've got a second-hand apron.
CITY GENT #2: Thank you.
(Mr. Wiggin hurries to the door but stops...)
MR. WIGGIN: I nearly got in at Hendon.
Linkman: Oh, err, and Sheila has just..eh... come back
now with our projector from the shop, and some bacon,
too. Thank you, Sheila. So now, back to our feature
film, and, uh, some things for the week-end, thank you.
Now back to our feature film, set in a Boeing 787. -
A.D.
Father: One day, lad, all this will be yours!
Prince Herbert: What, the curtains?
Father: No. Not the curtains, lad. All that you can
see, stretched out over the hills and valleys of this
land! This'll be your kingdom, lad.
Herbert: But Mother--
Father: Father, lad. Father.
Herbert: B-- b-- but Father, I don't want any of that.
Father: Listen, lad. I built this kingdom up from
nothing. When I started here, all there was was swamp.
Other kings said I was daft to build a castle on a
swamp, but I built it all the same, just to show 'em.
It sank into the swamp. So, I built a second one. That
sank into the swamp. So, I built a third one. That
burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp, but
the fourth one... stayed up! And that's what you're
gonna get, lad: the strongest castle in these islands.
Herbert: But I don't want any of that. I'd rather--
Father: Rather what?!
Herbert: I'd rather... [music] ...just... sing!
Father: Stop that! Stop that! You're not going into a
song while I'm here. Now listen, lad. In twenty
minutes, you're getting married to a girl whose father
owns the biggest tracts of open land in Britain.
Herbert: B-- but I don't want land.
Father: Listen, Alice,--
Herbert: Herbert.
Father: 'Erbert. We live in a bloody swamp. We need all
the land we can get.
Herbert: But-- but I don't like her.
Father: Don't like her?! What's wrong with her?! She's
beautiful.She's rich. She's got huge... tracts o' land!
Herbert: I know, but I want the-- the girl that I marry
to have... [music] ...a certain,... special...
something!
Father: Cut that out! Cut that out! Look, you're
marrying Princess Lucky, so you'd better get used to
the idea! [smack] Guards! Make sure the Prince doesn't
leave this room until I come and get him.
Guard #1: Not to leave the room even if you come and
get him.
Guard #2: Hic!
Father: No, no. Until I come and get him.
Guard #1: Until you come and get him, we're not to
enter the room.
Father: No, no. No. You stay in the room and make sure
he doesn't leave.
Guard #1: And you'll come and get him.
Guard #2: Hic!
Father: Right.
Guard #1: We don't need to do anything apart from just
stop him entering the room.
Father: No, no. Leaving the room.
Guard #1: Leaving the room. Yes. [sniff]
Father: All right?
Guard #1: Right.
Guard #2: Hic!
Father: Right.
Guard #1: Oh, if-- if-- if, uhh-- if-- if-- w-- ehh--
i-- if-- if we--
Father: Yes? What is it?
Guard #1: Oh, i-- if-- i-- oh--
Father: Look, it's quite simple.
Guard #1: Uh...
Father: You just stay here and make sure 'e doesn't
leave the room. All right?
Guard #2: Hic!
Father: Right.
Guard #1: Oh, I remember. Uhh, can he leave the room
with us?
Father: N-- no, no. No. You just keep him in here and
make sure he--
Guard #1: Oh, yes. We'll keep him in here, obviously,
but if he had to leave and we were with him--
Father: No, no, no, no. Just keep him in here--
Guard #1: Until you or anyone else--
Father: No, not anyone else. Just me.
Guard #1: Just you.
Guard #2: Hic!
Father: Get back.
Guard #1: Get back.
Father: All right?
Guard #1: Right. We'll stay here until you get back.
Guard #2: Hic!
Father: And, uh, make sure he doesn't leave.
Guard #1: What?
Father: Make sure 'e doesn't leave.
Guard #1: The Prince?
Father: Yes. Make sure 'e doesn't leave.
Guard #1: Oh, yes, of course.
Guard #2: Hic!
Guard #1: Ah. I thought you meant him. You know, it
seemed a bit daft me havin' to guard him when he's a
guard.
Father: Is that clear?
Guard #2: Hic!
Guard #1: Oh, quite clear. No problems.
Father: Right. Where are you going?
Guard #1: We're coming with you.
Father:No, no. I want you to stay here and make sure 'e
doesn't leave.
Guard #1: Oh, I see. Right.
Herbert: But Father!
Father: Shut your noise, you! And get that suit on!
[music] And no singing!
Guard #2: Hic!
A customer enters a pet shop.
Customer: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.
(The owner does not respond.)
C: 'Ello, Miss?
Owner: What do you mean "miss"?
C: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a
complaint!
O: We're closin' for lunch.
C: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about
this parrot what I
purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
O: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian
Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?
C: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's
dead, that's what's
wrong with it!
O: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.
C: Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one,
and I'm looking
at one right now.
O: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable
bird, the Norwegian
Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!
C: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.
O: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!
C: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up!
(shouting at the cage)
'Ello, Mister Polly Parrot! I've got a lovely fresh
cuttle fish for you if
you show...(owner hits the cage)
O: There, he moved!
C: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!
O: I never!!
C: Yes, you did!
O: I never, never did anything...
C: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO
POLLY!!!!!
Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine
o'clock alarm call!
(Takes parrot out of the cage and thumps its head on
the counter. Throws it up
in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)
C: Now that's what I call a dead parrot.
O: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!
C: STUNNED?!?
O: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up!
Norwegian Blues
stun easily, major.
C: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad
enough of this.
That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I
purchased it not 'alf an hour
ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was
due to it bein'
tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.
O: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the
fjords.
C: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is
that?, look, why
did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?
O: The Norwegian Blue prefers keepin' on it's back!
Remarkable bird, id'nit,
squire? Lovely plumage!
C: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot
when I got it home,
and I discovered the only reason that it had been
sitting on its perch in
the first place was that it had been NAILED there.
(pause)
O: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't
nailed that bird down,
it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart
with its beak, and
VOOM! Feeweeweewee!
C: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put
four million volts
through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!
O: No no! 'E's pining!
C: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no
more! He has ceased
to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a
stiff! Bereft
of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to
the perch 'e'd be
pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now
'istory! 'E's off
the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is
mortal coil, run
down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir
invisibile!!
THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!
(pause)
O: Well, I'd better replace it, then.
(he takes a quick peek behind the counter)
O: Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the
shop, and uh, we're
right out of parrots.
C: I see. I see, I get the picture.
O: I got a slug.
(pause)
C: (sweet as sugar) Pray, does it talk?
O: Nnnnot really.
C: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS
IT?!!???!!?
O: Look, if you go to my brother's pet shop in Bolton,
he'll replace
the parrot for you.
C: Bolton, eh? Very well.
The customer leaves.
The customer enters the same pet shop. The owner is
putting on a false
moustache.
C: This is Bolton, is it?
O: (with a fake mustache) No, it's Ipswitch.
C: (looking at the camera) That's inter-city rail for
you.
The customer goes to the train station.
He addresses a man standing behind a desk marked
"Complaints".
C: I wish to complain, British-Railways Person.
Attendant: I DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS JOB, YOU KNOW!!!
C: I beg your pardon...?
A: I'm a qualified brain surgeon! I only do this job
because I like
being my own boss!
C: Excuse me, this is irrelevant, isn't it?
A: Yeah, well it's not easy to pad these python files
out to 200 lines,
you know.
C: Well, I wish to complain. I got on the Bolton train
and found myself
deposited here in Ipswitch.
A: No, this is Bolton.
C: (to the camera) The pet shop man's brother was
lying!!
A: Can't blame British Rail for that.
C: In that case, I shall return to the pet shop!
He does.
C: I understand this IS Bolton.
O: (still with the fake mustache) Yes?
C: You told me it was Ipswitch!
O: ...It was a pun.
C: (pause) A PUN?!?
O: No, no...not a pun...What's that thing that spells
the same backwards
as forwards?
C: (Long pause) A palindrome...?
O: Yeah, that's it!
C: It's not a palindrome! The palindrome of "Bolton"
would be "Notlob"!!
It don't work!!
O: Well, what do you want?
C: I'm not prepared to pursue my line of inquiry any
longer as I think
this is getting too silly!
Sergeant-Major: Quite agree, quite agree, too silly,
I'd like to have an argument, please.
Certainly, sir. Have you been here before?
No, this is my first time.
I see. Well, were you thinking of taking a five minute
argument or a course?
Well, what's the cost?
It's £1 for a five minute argument, but it's £8 for a
course of ten.
I think I'll take the five minutes and see how it
progresses.
Very well. Now, Mr. Hayward isn't free at the moment,
nor is Mr. Baker.
Here we go, Mr. Maynard, Room 12.
Thank you.
WHAT DO YOU WANT?!
Well, I was told outside--
DON'T GIVE ME THAT, YOU SNOTTY-FACED HEAP OF PARROT
DROPPINGS!
What?!
SHUT YOUR FESTERING GOB, YOU TIT!
YOUR TYPE REALLY MAKES ME PUKE, YOU PERVERT!
What are you doing?! I came in here for an argument!
Oh! I'm sorry, but this is abuse.
Oh, that explains it.
Yes, you want Room 12A. Next door.
Thank you.
Not at all. (Door shuts) Stupid git.
Is the right room for an argument?
I've told you once.
No, you didn't.
Yes, I did.
When?
Just now.
No, you didn't.
Yes, I did.
No, you didn't.
Excuse me. Is the five minute argument or the half
hour?
Oh, just the five minute.
Thank you. Anyway, I did tell you.
No, you most certainly did not.
Let's get one thing straight: I most definitely told
you.
No, you didn't.
Yes, I did.
No, you didn't.
Yes, I did.
No, you didn't.
Yes, I did.
This isn't an argument!
Yes, it is.
No, it isn't. It's just contradiction.
No, it isn't.
Yes, it is. You just contradicted me.
No, I didn't.
Yes, you did.
No, no, no.
You did just then.
That's ludicrous.
Oh, this is futile.
No, it isn't.
I came in here for a good argument.
No, you didn't. You came in here for an argument.
Well, argument isn't the same as contradiction.
Can be.
No, it can't.
An argument is a collective series of statements
intended to establish a proposition.
No, it isn't.
Yes, it is. It isn't just contradiction.
Look, if I argue with you. I must take a contrary
position.
But it isn't just saying No, it isn't.
Yes, it is.
No, it isn't. Argument's an intellectual protest,
contradiction just the automatic opposite of any
statement the other person makes.
No, it isn't.
Yes, it is.
Not at all.
Now, look-- (Bell dings)
Good morning.
What?
That's it. Good morning.
I was just getting interested.
I'm sorry, the five minutes is up.
That was not five minutes.
I'm afraid it was.
Oh, no, it wasn't. (Argument professional looks around
the room)
I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to argue anymore.
What?
If you want to go on arguing you'll have to pay for
another five minutes.
But that was not five minutes, just now. (Professional
whistles) Oh, come on.
If you want to continue arguing, you must pay for
another five minutes.
Oh, fine. Here.
Thank you.
Well?
Well what?
That was not five minutes, just then.
I told you, you have to pay.
I just paid.
No, you didn't.
Yes, I did.
No, you didn't.
I don't want to argue about that.
Well, you didn't pay.
Ah, but if I didn't pay, why are you arguing? Aha! Got
you.
No, you haven't.
Yes, I have. If you're arguing, I must have paid.
Not necessarily. I could be arguing in my spare time.
Oh, I've had enough of this.
Wapcaplet: Aah, come in, come in, Mr....Simpson. Aaah,
welcome to Mousebat, Follicle, Goosecreature,
Ampersand, Spong, Wapcaplet, Looseliver, Vendetta and
Prang!
Mr. Simpson: Thank you.
Wapcaplet: Do sit down--my name's Wapcaplet, Adrian
Wapcaplet...
Mr. Simpson: how'd'y'do.
Wapcaplet: Now, Mr. Simpson... Simpson, Simpson...
French, is it?
Mr. Simpson: No.
Wapcaplet: Aah. Now, I understand you want us to
advertise your washing powder.
Mr. Simpson: String.
Wapcaplet: String, washing powder, what's the
difference. We can sell anything.
Mr. Simpson: Good. Well I have this large quantity of
string, a hundred and twenty-two thousand miles of it
to be exact, which I inherited, and I thought if I
advertised it--
Wapcaplet: Of course! A national campaign. Useful
stuff, string, no trouble there.
Mr. Simpson: Ah, but there's a snag, you see. Due to
bad planning, the hundred and twenty-two thousand miles
is in three inch lengths. So it's not very useful.
Wapcaplet: Well, that's our selling point! "SIMPSON'S
INDIVIDUAL STRINGETTES!"
Mr. Simpson: What?
Wapcaplet: "THE NOW STRING! READY CUT, EASY TO HANDLE,
SIMPSON'S INDIVIDUAL EMPEROR STRINGETTES - JUST THE
RIGHT LENGTH!"
Mr. Simpson: For what?
Wapcaplet: Uhmm... "A MILLION HOUSEHOLD USES!"
Mr. Simpson: Such as?
Wapcaplet: Uhmm...Tying up very small parcels,
attatching notes to pigeons' legs, uh, destroying
household pests...
Mr. Simpson: Destroying household pests?! How?
Wapcaplet: Well, if they're bigger than a mouse, you
can strangle them with it, and if they're smaller than,
you flog them to death with it!
Mr. Simpson: Well surely!....
Wapcaplet: "DESTROY NINETY-NINE PERCENT OF KNOWN
HOUSEHOLD PESTS WITH PRE-SLICED, RUSTPROOF, EASY-TO-
HANDLE, LOW CALORIE SIMPSON'S INDIVIDUAL EMPEROR
STRINGETTES, FREE FROM ARTIFICIAL COLORING, AS USED IN
HOSPITALS!"
Mr. Simpson: 'Ospitals!?!
Wapcaplet: Have you ever in a Hospital where they
didn't have string?
Mr. Simpson: No, but it's only string!
Wapcaplet: ONLY STRING?! It's everything! It's...it's
waterproof!
Mr. Simpson: No it isn't!
Wapcaplet: All right, it's water resistant then!
Mr. Simpson: It isn't!
Wapcaplet: All right, it's water absorbent!
It's...Super Absorbent String! "ABSORB WATER TODAY WITH
SIMPSON'S INDIVIDUAL WATER ABSORB-A-TEX STRINGETTES!
AWAY WITH FLOODS!"
Mr. Simpson: You just said it was waterproof!
Wapcaplet: "AWAY WITH THE DULL DRUDGERY OF WORKADAY
TIDAL WAVES! USE SIMPSON'S INDIVIDUAL FLOOD
PREVENTERS!"
Mr. Simpson: You're mad!
Wapcaplet: Shut up, shut up, shut up! Sex, sex sex,
must get sex into it. Wait, I see a television
commercial- There's this nude woman in a bath holding a
bit of your string. That's great, great, but we need a
doctor, got to have a medical opinion. There's a nude
woman in a bath with a doctor--that's too sexy. Put an
archbishop there watching them, that'll take the curse
off it. Now, we need children and animals. There's two
kids admiring the string, and a dog admiring the
archbishop who's blessing the string.
Uhh...international flavor's missing...make the
archbishop Greek Orthodox. Why not Archbishop Macarios?
No, no, he's dead... nevermind, we'll get his brother,
Linkman: Jarrow - New Year's Eve 1911
Reg:
(Graham) Trouble at mill.
Lady Mountback:
(Carol) Oh no - what kind of trouble?
Reg: I don't know - Mr Wentworth told me to come and
say that there was trouble at the mill, that's all - I
didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition.
[JARRING CHORD]
(The door flies open and Cardinal Ximinez of Spain
enters, flanked by two junior cardinals. Cardinal
Biggles has goggles pushed over his forehead. Cardinal
Fang is just Cardinal Fang)
Ximinez:
(Michael) NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our
weapon is suprise...surprise and fear...fear and
surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and
surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our three
weapons are fear, and surprise, and the ruthless
efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the
Pope.... Amongst our weapons...are fear, surprise,
ruth... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as
fear... I'll come in again.
(Exit and exeunt)
Reg: I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition.
[JARRING CHORD]
(The cardinals burst in)
Ximinez: NOOOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition!
Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as:
fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, and an almost
fanatical devotion to the Pope, and a night out with
the neighbour - Oh erh! It's no good, I'm sorry.
Cardinal Biggles - you'll have to say it.
Biggles:
(Terry J) What?
Ximinez: You'll have to say the bit about 'Our chief
weapons are ...'
Biggles: I couldn't say that...
(Ximinez bundles the cardinals outside again)
Reg: I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition.
[JARRING CHORD]
(The cardinals enter)
Biggles: Er.... Nobody...um....
Ximinez: Expects...
Biggles: Expects... Nobody expects
the...um...Spanish...um...
Ximinez: Inquisition.
Biggles: Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition. In
fact, those who do expect -
Ximinez: Our chief weapons is...
Biggles: Our chief weapons is...um...er...
Ximinez: Surprise...
Biggles: Surprise and --
Ximinez: Stop. Stop. Stop there - All right! All right!
...our chief weapon is surprise...blah blah blah blah
blah. Now, Cardinal Fang, read the charges.
Fang:
(Terry G) One pound for a full sketch, 24 p for a
quickie.
Ximinez: What will you have?
Dead Parrot Sketch
The cast:
MR. PRALINE
John Cleese
SHOP OWNER
Michael Palin
The sketch:
A customer enters a pet shop.
Mr. Praline: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.
(The owner does not respond.)
Mr. Praline: 'Ello, Miss?
Owner: What do you mean "miss"?
Mr. Praline: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a
complaint!
Owner: We're closin' for lunch.
Mr. Praline: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to
complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an
hour ago from this very boutique.
Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian
Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?
Mr. Praline: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my
lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!
Owner: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.
Mr. Praline: Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I
see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
Owner: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'!
Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay?
Beautiful plumage!
Mr. Praline: The plumage don't enter into it. It's
stone dead.
Owner: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!
Mr. Praline: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake
him up! (shouting at the cage) 'Ello, Mister Polly
Parrot! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if
show...
(owner hits the cage)
Owner: There, he moved!
Mr. Praline: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the
cage!
Owner: I never!!
Mr. Praline: Yes, you did!
Owner: I never, never did anything...
Mr. Praline: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly)
'ELLO POLLY!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing!
This is your nine o'clock alarm call!
(Takes parrot out of the cage and thumps its head on
the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it
plummet to the floor.)
Mr. Praline: Now that's what I call a dead parrot.
Owner: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!
Mr. Praline: STUNNED?!?
Owner: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up!
Norwegian Blues stun easily, major.
Mr. Praline: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've
definitely 'ad enough of this. That parrot is
definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf
an hour
ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was
due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a
prolonged squawk.
Owner: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the
fjords.
Mr. Praline: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of
talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back
the moment I got 'im home?
Owner: The Norwegian Blue prefers keepin' on it's back!
Remarkable bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!
Mr. Praline: Look, I took the liberty of examining that
parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only
reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the
first place was that it had been NAILED there.
(pause)
Owner: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't
nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to
those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and
VOOM! Feeweeweewee!
Mr. Praline: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom"
if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin'
demised!
Owner: No no! 'E's pining!
Mr. Praline: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This
parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired
and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of
life, 'e
rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch
'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes
are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the
bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the
curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS
IS AN EX-PARROT!!
(pause)
Owner: Well, I'd better replace it, then. (he takes a
quick peek behind the counter) Sorry squire, I've had a
look 'round the back of the shop, and uh,
we're right out of parrots.
Mr. Praline: I see. I see, I get the picture.
Owner: I got a slug.
(pause)
Mr. Praline: Pray, does it talk?
Owner: Nnnnot really.
Mr. Praline: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS
IT?!!???!!?
Owner: N-no, I guess not. (gets ashamed, looks at his
feet)
Mr. Praline: Well.
(pause)
Owner: (quietly) D'you.... d'you want to come back to
my place?
Praline:
(John) I wish to register a complaint.
'Ello, Miss?
Shopkeeper:
(Michael) What do you mean "miss"?
Praline: (pause) I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to
make a complaint!
Shopkeeper: Sorry, we're closin' for lunch.
Praline: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain
about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago
from this very boutique.
Shopkeeper: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian
Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?
Praline: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad.
'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!
Shopkeeper: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.
Praline: Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see
one, and I'm looking at one right now.
Shopkeeper: No no he's eh he's not dead, he's, he's
restin', y'know! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue,
idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!
Praline: The plumage don't enter into it. 'E's stone
dead.
Shopkeeper: No, no! He's... he's resting!
Praline: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him
up! (shouting at the cage) 'Ello, Mister Polly Parrot!
I've got a nice fresh banana for you if you...
(shopkeeper hits the cage)
Shopkeeper: There, he moved!
Praline: No, he didn't, you hit the cage!
Shopkeeper: I never!!
Praline: Yes, you did!
Shopkeeper: I never, never did anything...
Praline: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly)
'ELLO POLLY!!!!! Wakey! Wakey! This is your nine
o'clock alarm call!
(Takes parrot out of the cage and thumps its head on
the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it
plummet to the floor.)
Now that's what I call a dead parrot.
Shopkeeper: No, no.....'E's stunned!
Praline: STUNNED?!?
Shopkeeper: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was
wakin' up! Norwegian Blues stun easily.
Praline: Now look! Don't play the slippery eel with me.
That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I
purchased it not 'alf an hour ago, you assured me that
its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired
and shagged out after a long squawk.
Shopkeeper: Well, he's..ah....he's probably pining for
the fjords.
Praline: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk
is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the
moment I got 'im home?
Shopkeeper: The Norwegian Blue prefers kipping on it's
back! Remarkable bird, id'nit, eh, major? Beautiful
plumage!
Praline: Look, Tosh, I took the liberty of examining
that bird when I got it home, and I discovered the only
reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the
first place was that it had been NAILED there.
(pause)
Shopkeeper: Well, o'course it was nailed there! Listen,
if I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have
muscled those bars, bent 'em apart with its little
pecker, and VOOM!
Praline: "VOOM"?!?
Shopkeeper: Voom!
Praline: Mate, this parrot wouldn't "voom" if you put
four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!
Shopkeeper: No no! 'E's pining!
Praline: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot
is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone
to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e
rests in peace, if you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch
'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'E's of the twig. 'E's
curled up his tootsies, 'e's shuffled off this mortal
coil. 'E's run down the curtain and joined the bleedin'
choir invisibile!! 'E fucking snuffed it! Vis-a-vis the
metabolic processes, 'e's had 'is lot! All statements
to the effect of this parrot is still a going concern,
are from now on inoperative. THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!
(pause)
Shopkeeper: Well.
Well, I'd better replace it, then. (he takes a quick
peek behind the counter)
Praline: [mumbling profanities]
What's the news?
Shopkeeper: I've had a look 'round the back of the
shop, and uh, we're right out of parrots.
Praline: I see. I see. I get the picture.
Shopkeeper: (pause) I got a slug.
(pause)
Praline: Does it talk?
Shopkeeper: Yep.
1st Announcer (Eric Idle): And now it's time for "Novel
Writing" which today comes from the west country from
Dorset.
2nd Announcer (Michael Palin): (sound of a crowd in the
background) Hello and welcome to Dorchester where a
very good crowd has turned out to watch local boy
Thomas Hardy write his new novel "The Return of the
Native" on this very pleasant July morning. This will
be his eleventh novel and the fifth of the very popular
Wessex novels….and here he comes! Here comes Hardy
walking out toward his desk, he looks confident, he
looks relaxed; very much the man in form as he
acknowledges this very good natured Bank Holiday crowd.
And the crowd goes quiet now as Hardy settles himself
down at the desk, body straight, shoulders relaxed, pen
held lightly but firmly in the right hand, he dips the
pen...in the ink and he’s off! Its the first word, but
it is not a word….. oh no, its a doodle way up on top
of the left hand margin. It is a piece of meaningless
scribble, and he’s signed his name underneath it... oh
dear, what a disappointing start, but he is off again
and he goes the first word of Thomas Hardy’s new novel,
at 10:35 on this very lovely morning, it’s three
letters it’s the definite article and it’s THE, Dennis
Dennis (Graham Chapman): Well, this is true to form; no
surprises there. He started five of his eleven novels
to date with the definite article. We’ve had two of
them with 'it', there's been one 'but', two 'at's, one
'on' and a 'Delores'. Oh, that, of course, was never
published.
2nd Announcer: I'm sorry to interrupt you there,
Dennis, but he’s crossed it out. Thomas Hardy on the
first day of his new novel has crossed out the only
word he has written so far and he's gazing off into
space….Ohh! Oh dear, he’s signed his name again.
Dennis: It looks like Tess of the d'Urbervilles all
over again.
2nd Announcer: But he's..No..he's down again and
writing, Dennis. He’s written THE again, he’s crossed
it out again and he has written A and there is a second
word coming up straight away, it's SAT, a sat, doesn’t
make sense, a sat, a Saturday, it is a SATURDAY and the
crowd are loving it. They're really enjoying this novel
and it’s AFTERNOON, a Saturday afternoon, is a
confident beginning and he is straight on to the next
word and it's IN, a Saturday afternoon, IN, in, in,…no,
NOVEMBER, November's spelt wrong, he has left out the
second E, but he’s not going back! It looks as though
he is going for the sentence and it is the first verb
coming up, the first verb of the novel and it's WAS,
and the crowd are going wild! A Saturday afternoon in
November was, and a long word here , appro, is it
approval, no, it’s APPROACHING, a Saturday afternoon in
November was approaching and he has done the definite
article THE again and he is writing fluently, easily
with flowing strokes of the pen as he comes up to the
middle of this first sentence and with this eleventh
novel well underway and the prospect of a good day's
[trumpets]
CROWD: [cheering]
PILATE: People of Jewusalem!
CROWD: [chuckling]
PILATE: Wome is your fwiend.
CROWD: [laughing]
PILATE: To pwove our fwiendship, it is customawy at
this time to welease a wongdoer fwom our pwisons.
CROWD: [laughing]
GUARD #3: [chuckling]
PILATE: Whom would you have me welease?
BOB HOSKINS: Welease Woger!
CROWD: Yes! Welease Woger! Welease Woger! [laughing]
PILATE: Vewy well. I shall welease Woger!
CROWD: [cheering]
CENTURION: Sir, uh, we don't have a 'Woger', sir.
PILATE: What?
CENTURION: Uh, we don't have anyone of that name, sir.
PILATE: Ah. We have no 'Woger'!
CROWD: Ohhhhh!
BOB: Well, what about Wodewick, then?
CROWD: Yes! Welease Wodewick! Welease Wodewick!
PILATE: Centuwion, why do they titter so?
CENTURION: Just some, uh, Jewish joke, sir.
PILATE: Are they... wagging me?
CENTURION: Oh, no, sir!
GUARD #3: [chuckling]
PILATE: Vewy well. I shall welease... Wodewick!
CROWD: [laughing]
CENTURION: Sir, we don't have a 'Roderick' either.
PILATE: No 'Woger'? No 'Wodewick'?
CENTURION: Sorry, sir.
PILATE: Who is this 'Wod'--
GUARD #1: [chuckle]
PILATE: Who is the 'Wodewick' to whom you wefer?
BOB: He's a wobber!
CROWD: [laughing]
MAN: And a wapist!
CROWD: [laughing]
WOMAN: And a pickpocket!
CROWD: Yeah! Ahh, no! No! Shh! Shh!...
PILATE: He sounds a notowious cwiminal.
CENTURION: We haven't got him, sir. Mm hm.
PILATE: Do we have anyone in our pwisons at all?
CENTURION: Oh, yes, sir. We've got, uh, 'Samson', sir.
PILATE: Samson?
CENTURION: Samson the Sadducee Strangler, sir. Uh,
Silus the Syrian Assassin. Uh, several seditious
scribes from Caesarea. Uhhh, sixty- seven seers from--
BIGGUS: Let me thpeak to them, Pontiuth!
CENTURION: Oh, no. Oh.
PILATE: Ah. Good idea, Biggus.
BIGGUS: Thitizens! We have Thamthon the Thadduthee
Thtrangler, Thilus...
CROWD: [laughing]
BIGGUS: ...the Athyrian Athathin, theveral theditiouth
A customer enters a pet shop.
Customer: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.
(The owner does not respond.)
C: 'Ello, Miss?
Owner: What do you mean "miss"?
C: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a
complaint!
O: We're closin' for lunch.
C: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about
this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from
this very boutique.
O: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian
Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?
C: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's
dead, that's what's wrong with it!
O: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.
C: Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one,
and I'm looking at one right now.
O: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable
bird, the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful
plumage!
C: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.
O: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!
C: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up!
(shouting at the cage)
'Ello, Mister Polly Parrot! I've got a lovely fresh
cuttle fish for you if you show...(owner hits the cage)
O: There, he moved!
C: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!
O: I never!!
C: Yes, you did!
O: I never, never did anything...
C: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO
POLLY!!!!!
Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine
o'clock alarm call!
(Takes parrot out of the cage and thumps its head on
the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it
plummet to the floor.)
C: Now that's what I call a dead parrot.
O: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!
C: STUNNED?!?
O: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up!
Norwegian Blues stun easily, major.
C: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad
enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and
when I purchased it not 'alf an hour ago, you assured
me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein'
tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.
O: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the
fjords.
C: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is
that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the
moment I got 'im home?
O: The Norwegian Blue prefers kippin' on it's back!
Remarkable bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!
C: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot
when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason
that it had been sitting on its perch in the first
place was that it had been NAILED there.
(pause)
O: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't
nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to
those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and VOOM!
Feeweeweewee!
C: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put
four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!
O: No no! 'E's pining!
C: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no
more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to
meet 'is maker!
'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you
hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the
daisies!
'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the
twig!
'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal
coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin'
choir invisibile!!
THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!
(pause)
O: Well, I'd better replace it, then.
(he takes a quick peek behind the counter)
O: Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the
shop, and uh, we're right out of parrots.
C: I see. I see, I get the picture.
O: I got a slug.
(pause)
C: (sweet as sugar) Pray, does it talk?
O: Not really...
C: Well, it's hardly a bloody replacement, is it?!?!
O: Do you want to come back to my place?
I bet you they won't play this song on the radio.
I bet you they won't play this new ******ng song.
It's not that it's **** or **** controversial
just that the ****ng words are awfully strong.
You can't say ****** on the radio,
or *****
or *****
or *****
You can't even say I'd like to ***** you someday
unless you're a doctor with a very large *****.
So I bet you they won't play this song on the radio.
I bet you they damn *****ng wellprogram it.
I bet you their ****** program directors who think it's a
FIRST VILLAGER
We have found a witch. May we burn her?
A Witch! Burn her!
BEDEVERE
How do you know she is a witch?
She looks like one. Yes, she does.
BEDEVERE
Bring her forward.
They bring her forward - a beautiful YOUNG GIRL (MISS
ISLINGTON) dressed up
as a witch.
WITCH
I am not a witch. I am not a witch.
BEDEVERE
But you are dressed as one
WITCH
They dressed me up like this.
We didn't, we didn't!
WITCH
This is not my nose, It is a false one.
BEDEVERE takes her nose off.
BEDEVERE
Well?
FIRST VILLAGER
... Well, we did do the nose.
BEDEVERE
The nose?
FIRST VILLAGER
And the hat. But she is a witch.
A witch, a witch, burn her!
BEDEVERE
Did you dress her up like this?
FIRST VILLAGER
... Um ... Yes ... no ... a bit ... yes... she has got
a wart.
BEDEVERE
Why do you think she is a witch?
SECOND VILLAGER
She turned me into a newt.
BEDEVERE
A newt?
SECOND VILLAGER
(After looking at himself for some time)
I got better.
Burn her anyway.
BEDEVERE
Quiet! Quiet! There are ways of telling whether she is
a witch.
ARTHUR and PATSY ride up at this point and watch what
follows with interest
There are? Tell up. What are they, wise Sir Bedevere?
BEDEVERE
Tell me ... what do you do with witches?
Burn them.
BEDEVERE
And what do you burn, apart from witches?
FOURTH VILLAGER
... Wood?
BEDEVERE
So why do witches burn?
SECOND VILLAGE
(pianissimo)
... Because they're made of wood...?
BEDEVERE
Good.
PEASANTS stir uneasily then come round to this
conclusion.
I see. Yes, of course.
BEDEVERE
So how can we tell if she is made of wood?
FIRST VILLAGER
Make a bridge out of her.
BEDEVERE
Ah ... but can you not also make bridges out of stone?
Ah. Yes, of course ... um ... err ...
BEDEVERE
Does wood sink in water?
No, no, It floats. Throw her in the pond Tie weights on
her. To the pond.
BEDEVERE
Wait. Wait ... tell me, what also floats on water?
Bread? No, no, no. Apples .... gravy ... very small
rocks ...
ARTHUR
A duck.
They all turn and look at ARTHUR. BEDEVERE looks up
very impressed.
BEDEVERE
Exactly. So... logically ...
FIRST VILLAGER
(beginning to pick up the thread)
If she ... weighs the same as a duck ... she's made of
wood.
BEDEVERE
And therefore?
A witch! ... A duck! A duck! Fetch a duck.
FOURTH VILLAGER
Here is a duck, Sir Bedevere.
BEDEVERE
We shall use my largest scales.
He leads them a few yards to a very strange contraption
indeed, made of wood and rope and leather. They put the
GIRL in one pan and the duck
in another. Each pan is supported by a wooden stave.
BEDEVERE checks each pan then ... ARTHUR looks on with
interest.
BEDEVERE
Remove the supports.
Two PEASANTS knock them away with sledge hammers. The
GIRL and the duck swing slightly but balance perfectly.
A witch! A witch!
WITCH
It's a fair cop.
Burn her! Burn her! Let's make her into a ladder.
The VILLAGERS drag the girl away, leaving ARTHUR and
From Monty Python's "Live at the Hollywood Bowl"
Transcribed by John Daley jdaley@picasso.ocis.temple.edu
Immanuel Kant was a real pissant who was very rarely stable,
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar who could think you under the table,
David Hume could out-consume Schopenhauer and Hegel,
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine who was just as schloshed as Schlegel.
There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya 'bout the turning of the wrist,
Socrates himself was permanently pissed...
John Stuart Mill, of his own free will, with half a pint of shandy was
particularly ill,
Plato, they say, could stick it away, half a crate of whiskey every day,
Aristotle, Aristotle was a beggar for the bottle,
Hobbes was fond of his dram,
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart, "I drink therefore I am."
Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed;
I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK
I sleep all night and I work all day
(He's a lumberjack and he's OK
He sleeps all night and he works all day)
I cut down trees, I eat my lunch
I go to the lavat'ry
On Wednesdays I go shopping
And have buttered scones for tea
(He cuts down trees...)
(He's a lumberjack...)
I cut down trees, I skip and jump
I love to press wild flow'rs
I put on women's clothing
And hang around in bars
(He cuts down trees...)
(He's a lumberjack...)
I cut down trees, I wear high heels
Suspenders and a bra
I wish I'd been a girlie
Just like my dear papar
(He cuts down trees...)
Michael: Ahh.. Very passable, this, very passable.
Graham: Nothing like a good glass of Chateau de
Chassilier, eh Josiah?
Terry J: You're right there Obediah.
Eric: Who'd a thought thirty years ago we'd all be
sittin' here drinking Chateau de Chassilier?
Michael: Aye. In them days, we'd a' been glad to have
the price of a cup o' tea.
Graham: A cup o' COLD tea.
Eric: Without milk or sugar.
Terry J: OR tea!
Michael: In a cracked cup, and all.
Eric: We never had a cup. We used to have to drink out
of a rolled up newspaper.
Graham: The best WE could manage was to suck on a piece
of damp cloth.
Terry J: But you know, we were happy in those days,
though we were poor.
Michael: Aye. BECAUSE we were poor. My old Dad used to
say to me, "Money doesn't buy you happiness."
Eric: 'E was right. I was happier then and I had
NOTHIN'. We used to live in this tiny old house, with
greaaaaat big holes in the roof.
Graham: House? You were lucky to have a HOUSE! We used
to live in one room, all twenty-six of us, no
furniture. Half the floor was missing and we were all
huddled together in one corner for fear of FALLING!
Terry J: You were lucky to have a ROOM! We used to have
to live in a corridor!
Michael: Ohhhh we used to DREAM of livin' in a
corridor! Woulda' been a palace to us. We used to live
in an old water tank on a rubbish tip. We got woken up
every morning by having a load of rotting fish dumped
all over us! House!? Hmph.
Eric: Well when I say "house" it was only a hole in the
ground covered by a sheet of tarpolin, it was a house
to US.
Graham: We were evicted from our hole in the ground; we
had to go and live in a lake!
Terry J: You were lucky to have a LAKE! There were a
hundred and fifty of us living in a shoebox in the
middle of the road.
Michael: Cardboard box?
Terry J: Aye.
Michael: You were lucky. We lived for three months in a
paper bag in a septic tank. We used to have to get up
at six in the morning, clean the paper bag, eat a crust
of stale bread, go to work down the mill for fourteen
hours a day week in week out, for sixpence a week. When
we got home, out Dad would thrash us to sleep with his
belt!
Graham: Luxury! We used to have to get out of the lake
at six o'clock in the morning, clean the lake, eat a
handful of hot gravel, work twenty hour a day at the
mill for tuppence a month, come home, and Dad would
thrash us to sleep with a broken bottle, if we were
LUCKY!
Terry J: Well of course, we had it tough. We used to
have to get up out of the shoebox at twelve o'clock at
night, and LICK the road clean with our tongues. We had
half two bits of cold gravel, worked twenty-four hours
a day at the mill for sixpence every four years, and
when we got home, our Dad would slice us in two with a
bread knife.
Eric: Right. I had to get up in the morning at ten
o'clock at night, half an hour before I went to bed,
drink a cup of sulphuric acid, work twenty-nine hours a
day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to
come to work, and when we got home, our Dad and our
Mother would kill us, and dance about on our graves
singing "Hallelujah."
Michael: And you try and tell the young people today
that... and they won't believe ya'.
Praline: (whistles a bit, then) Hello. I would like to
buy a fish license, please.
Postal clerk: A what?
Praline: A license for my pet fish, Eric.
Clerk: How did you know my name was Eric?
Praline: No, no, no! My fish's name is Eric. Eric fish.
He's an halibut.
Clerk: What?
Praline: He is an halibut.
Clerk: You've got a pet halibut?
Praline: Yes, I chose him out of thousands. I didn't
like the others, they were all too flat.
Clerk: You must be a loony.
Praline: I am not a loony. Why should I be tarred with
the epithet 'loony' merely because I have a pet
halibut? I've heard tell that Sir Gerald Nabarro has a
pet prawn called Simon - you wouldn't call him a loony!
Furthermore Dawn Pathorpe, the lady show jumper, had a
clam called Stafford, after the late chancellor. Alan
Bullock has two pikes, both called Chris, and Marcel
Proust had an 'addock! So if you're calling the author
of 'A la recherche de temps perdu' a loony, I shall
have to ask you to step outside!
Clerk: All right, all right, all right. A license?
Praline: Yes!
Clerk: For a fish.
Praline: Yes!
Clerk: You *are* a loony.
Praline: Look, it's a bleeding pet, isn't it? I've got
a license for me pet dog Eric, I've got a license for
me pet cat Eric.
Clerk: You don't need a license for your cat.
Praline: I bleedin' well do and I've got one! Can't be
caught out there!
Clerk: There is no such thing as a bloody Cat license.
Praline: Yes there is.
Clerk: No there isn't.
Praline: Is!
Clerk: Isn't!
Praline: Is!
Clerk: Isn't!
Praline: Is!
Clerk: Isn't!
Praline: Is!
Clerk: Isn't!
Praline: Is!
Clerk: Isn't!
Praline: Is!
Clerk: Isn't!
Praline: What's that then?
Clerk: This is a dog license with the word 'dog'
crossed out and 'cat' written in, in crayon.
Praline: Man didn't have the right form.
Clerk: What man?
Praline: The man from the cat detector van.
Clerk: The loony detector van, you mean.
Praline: Look, it's people like you what cause unrest.
Clerk: What cat detector van?
Praline: The cat detector van from the Ministry of
Housinge.
Clerk: Housinge?
Praline: It was spelt like that on the van. I'm very
observant. I never seen so many bleedin' aerials. The
man said their equipment could pinpoint a purr at four
hundred yards, and Eric being such a happy cat was a
piece of cake.
Clerk: How much did you pay for this?
Praline: Sixty quid and eight for the fruit-bat.
Clerk: What fruit-bat?
Praline: Eric the fruit-bat.
Clerk: Are all your pets called Eric?
Praline: There's nothing so odd about that. Kemel
Attaturk had an entire menagerie called Abdul.
Clerk: No he didn't.
Praline: Did!
Clerk: Didn't!
Praline: Did, did, did, did, did and did!
Clerk: Oh all right.
Praline: Spoken like a gentleman, sir. Now, are you
going to give me a fish license?
Clerk: I promise you that there is no such thing. You
don't need one.
NB: The TV Version continues.....the album version
continues below
Praline: Then I would like a statement to that effect
signed by the Lord Mayor.
(Fanfare of trumpets. Mayor gorgeously dressed with
dignitaries enters flanked by trumpeters.)
Clerk: You're in luck.
(In long shot now. The Mayor, who is nine foot high,
and dignitaries approach a startled Praline. Organ
music below a reverent voice over)
********** TV Version finishes - continuation of Album
Version **********
Praline: In that case give me a bee license.
Clerk: A license for your pet bee.
Praline: Correct.
Clerk: Called Eric? Eric the bee?
Praline: No.
Clerk: No?
Praline: No, Eric the half bee. He had an accident.
Clerk: You're off your chump.
Praline: Look, if you intend by that utilization of an
obscure colloquialism to imply that my sanity is not up
to scratch, or even to deny the semi-existence of my
little chum Eric the half bee, I shall have to ask you
to listen to this. Take it away, Eric the orchestra-
Linkman: Hello, good evening and welcome to Election
Night Special. There's tremendous excitement here at
the moment and we should be getting the first results
through any moment now. We're not sure where it will be
from, it might be Leicester or from West Byfleet, the
polling's been quite heavy in both areas. Ah, I'm just
getting... I'm just getting... a buzzing noise in my
left ear. Urgh, argh! (removes insect and stamps on
it). And now let's go straight over to Leicester.
Norman: And it's a straight fight here at Leicester and
we're expecting the result any moment now. There with
the Returning Officer is Arthur Smith the sensible
candidate and next to him is Jethro Q. Walrustitty the
silly candidate with his agent and his silly wife.
Officer: Here is the result for Leicester. Arthur J.
Smith...
Linkman: (Sensible Party)
Officer: ...30,612. (applause)
Jethro Q. Bunn Whackett Buzzard Stubble and Boot
Walrustitty...
Linkman: (Silly Party)
Officer: ...33,108. (applause)
Linkman: Well there we have the first result of the
election and the Silly party has held Leicester.
Norman.
Norman: Well pretty much as I predicted, except that
the Silly party won. Er, I think this is largely due to
the number of votes cast. Gerald.
Gerald: Well there's a big swing here to the Silly
Party, but how big a swing I'm not going to tell you.
Norman: I think one should point out that in this
constituency since the last election a lot of very
silly people have moved into new housing estates with
the result that a lot of sensible voters have moved
further down the road the other side of number er, 29.
Linkman: Well I can't add anything to that. Colin?
Colin: Can I just say that this is the first time I've
been on television?
Linkman: No I'm sorry, there isn't time, we're just
going straight over to Luton.
Gerald: Well here at Luton it's a three-cornered
contest between, from left to right, Alan Jones
(Sensible Party), Tarquin Fin-tim-lin-bin-lim-bim-bim-
bim-bim-bus-stop-F'tang-F'tang-Olé-Biscuitbarrel (Silly
Party), and Kevin Phillips-Bong, who is running on the
Slightly Silly ticket. And here's the result.
Woman: Alan Jones...
Linkman: (Sensible)
Woman: ...9,112.
Kevin Phillips-Bong...
Linkman: (Slightly Silly)
Woman: Nought.
Tarquin Fin-tim-lin-bin-whin-bim-lin-bim-bus-stop-
F'tang-F'tang-Olé-Biscuitbarrel...
Linkman: (Silly)
Woman: 12,441. (applause)
Linkman: Well there you have it, the first result of
the election as the Silly Party take Luton. Norman.
Norman: Well this is a very significant result. Luton,
normally a very sensible constituency with a high
proportion of people who aren't a bit silly, has gone
completely ga-ga.
Linkman: And we've just heard that James Gilbert has
with him the winning Silly candidate at Luton.
James: Tarquin, are you pleased with this result?
Tarquin: Ho yus, me old beauty, I should say so. (Silly
noises including a goat bleating).
Linkman: And do we have the swing at Luton?
Gerald: Er... no.
(pause)
Linkman: Right, well I can't add anything to that.
Colin?
Colin: Can I just say that this is the second time I've
been on television?
Linkman: No, I'm sorry there isn't time, we're just
about to get another result.
Norman: And this one is from Harpenden Southeast. A
very interesting constituency this: in addition to the
official Silly candidate there is an unofficial Very
Silly candidate, in the slab of concrete, and he could
well split the silly vote here at Harpenden Southeast.
Voice over: Mrs Elsie Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
Linkman: (Silly)
Voice over: 26,317 (applause).
Jeanette Walker...
Linkman: (Sensible)
Voice over: 26,318...
Linkman: That was very close!
Voice over: Malcolm Peter Brian Telescope Adrian
Blackpool Rock Stoatgobbler John Raw Vegetable Brrroooo
Norman Michael (rings bell) (blows whistle) Edward
(sounds car horn) (does train impersonation) (sounds
buzzer) Thomas Moo... (sings) "We'll keep a welcome in
the..." (fires gun) William (descending swanee whistle)
"Raindrops keep falling on my" (ascending swanee
whistle) "Don't sleep in the subway" (cuckoo cuckoo)
Naaoooo... Smith...
Linkman: (Very Silly)
Voice over: ...two.
Linkman: Well there you have it, a Sensible gain at
Harpenden with the Silly vote being split.
Norman: And we've just heard from Luton that Tony
Stratton-Smith has with him there the unsuccessful
Slightly Silly candidate, Kevin Phillips-Bong.
Tony: Kevin Phillips-Bong. You polled no votes at all.
Not a sausage. Bugger all. Are you at all disappointed
with this performance?
Phillips-Bong: Not at all. As I always say:
Climb every mountain
Ford every stream,
Follow every by-way,
Till you find your dream.
(Sings:)
A dream that will last
All the love you can give
Every day of your life
For as long as you live.
All together now!
Climb every mountain
Ford every stream...
Linkman: A very brave Kevin Phillips-Bong there.
Norman.
Norman: And I've just heard from Luton that my aunt is
ill. Possibly gastro-enteritis, possibly just catarrh.
Gerald.
Linkman: Right. Er, Colin?
Colin: Can I just say that I'll never appear on
television again?
Linkman: No I'm sorry, there isn't time, we have to
pick up a few results you may have missed. A little
pink pussy-cat has taken Barrow-in-Furness -- that's a
gain from the Liberals there. Rastus Odinga Odinga has
taken Wolverhampton Southwest, that's Enoch Powell's
old constituency -- an important gain there for Darkie
Power. Arthur Negus has held Bristols -- that's not a
result, that's just a bit of gossip. Sir Alec Douglas
Hume has taken Oldham for the Stone Dead party. A small
piece of putty about that big, a cheese mechanic from
Dunbar and two frogs -- one called Kipper the other one
not -- have all gone "Ni ni ni ni ni ni ni!" in
Blackpool Central. And so it's beginning to look like a
Silly landslide, and with the prospect of five more
years' Silly government facing us we... Oh I don't want
to do this any more, I'm bored!
Norman: He's right you know, it is a bloody waste of
time.
Gerald: Absolute waste of time.
Voice over: Number ninety-seven: a radio.
Radio Announcer: And now the BBC is proud to present a
brand new radio drama series, "The Death of Mary, Queen
of Scots." Part One: The Beginning.
(music)
Man's voice: Yoo arrr Mary, Queen of Scots?
Woman's voice: I am!
(sound of violent blows being dealt, things being
smashed, awful crunching noises, bones being broken,
and other bodily harm being inflicted. All of this
accompanied by screaming from the woman.)
(music fades up and out)
Announcer: Stay tuned for part two of the Radio Four
Production of "The Death of Mary, Queen of Scots",
coming up...almost immediately.
(music then sound of saw cutting, and other violent
sounds as before, with the woman screaming. Suddenly it
is silent.)
Man's voice: I think she's dead.
Woman's voice: No I'm not!
(sounds of physical harm and screaming start again.
then music fades up and out)
Announcer: that was episode two of "The Death of Mary,
Queen of Scots", specially adapted for radio by Gracie
Fields and Joe Frazier. And now, Radio Four will
explode.
A customer enters a pet shop.
Customer: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.
(The owner does not respond.)
C: 'Ello, Miss?
Owner: What do you mean "miss"?
C: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a
complaint!
O: We're closin' for lunch.
C: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about
this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from
this very boutique.
O: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian
Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?
C: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's
dead, that's what's wrong with it!
O: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.
C: Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one,
and I'm looking at one right now.
O: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable
bird, the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful
plumage!
C: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.
O: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!
C: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up!
(shouting at the cage)
'Ello, Mister Polly Parrot! I've got a lovely fresh
cuttle fish for you if you show...(owner hits the cage)
O: There, he moved!
C: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!
O: I never!!
C: Yes, you did!
O: I never, never did anything...
C: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO
POLLY!!!!!
Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine
o'clock alarm call!
(Takes parrot out of the cage and thumps its head on
the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it
plummet to the floor.)
C: Now that's what I call a dead parrot.
O: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!
C: STUNNED?!?
O: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up!
Norwegian Blues stun easily, major.
C: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad
enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and
when I purchased it not 'alf an hour ago, you assured
me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein'
tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.
O: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the
fjords.
C: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is
that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the
moment I got 'im home?
O: The Norwegian Blue prefers kippin' on it's back!
Remarkable bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!
C: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot
when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason
that it had been sitting on its perch in the first
place was that it had been NAILED there.
(pause)
O: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't
nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to
those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and VOOM!
Feeweeweewee!
C: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put
four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!
O: No no! 'E's pining!
C: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no
more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to
meet 'is maker!
'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you
hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the
daisies!
'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the
twig!
'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal
coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin'
choir invisibile!!
THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!
(pause)
O: Well, I'd better replace it, then.
(he takes a quick peek behind the counter)
O: Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the
shop, and uh, we're right out of parrots.
C: I see. I see, I get the picture.
O: I got a slug.
(pause)
C: (sweet as sugar) Pray, does it talk?
O: Not really...
C: Well, it's hardly a bloody replacement, is it?!?!
O: Do you want to come back to my place?
Arthur: Old woman!
Dennis: MAN!
Arthur: Man, sorry. What knight lives in that castle
over there?
Dennis: I'm 37.
Arthur: What?
Dennis: I'm 37, I'm not old!
Arthur: Well, I can't just call you "man".
Dennis: You could say "Dennis".
Arthur: I didn't know you were called Dennis.
Dennis: Well you didn't bother to find out, did you?
Arthur: I did say I'm sorry about the "old woman"
thing, but from behind you looked...
Dennis: What I object to is you automatically treatin'
me like an inferior.
Arthur: Well, I am king.
Dennis: Oh, king, eh? Very nice. And how'd you get
that, eh? By exploiting the workers! By hanging on to
outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the
economic and social differences in our society! If
there's ever going to be any progress...
Dennis' Mother: Dennis, Dennis, there's some lovely
filth down here! [sees Arthur] Oh. How'd you do?
Arthur: How do you do, good lady? I am Arthur, king of
the Britons. Whose castle is that?
Dennis' Mother: King of the who?
Arthur: The Britons.
Dennis' Mother: Who are the Britons?
Arthur: Well, we are. You are all Britons and I am your
king.
Dennis' Mother: I didn't know we had a king. I thought
we were an autonomous collective.
Dennis: You're fooling yourself. We're living in a
dictatorship! A self-perpetuating autocracy in which
the working classes...
Dennis' Mother: Oh there you go, bringing class into it
again!
Dennis: But that's what it's all about! If only people
would realise...
Arthur: Please, please, good people. I am in haste. Who
lives in that castle?
Dennis' Mother: No one lives there.
Arthur: Then who is your lord?
Dennis' Mother: We don't have a lord.
Arthur: What?!
Dennis: I told you. We're an anarcho-syndicalist
commune. We take it in turns to act as sort-of-
executive officer for the week...
Arthur: Yes.
Dennis: ... But all the decisions of that officer have
to be ratified at a special biweekly meeting...
Arthur: Yes, I see.
Dennis:... by a simple majority, in the case of purely
internal affairs...
Arthur: [getting bored] Be quiet.
Dennis:... but by a two thirds majority, in the case of
more major -
Arthur: Be quiet! I order you to be quiet!
Dennis' Mother: Order, eh? Who does he think he is?
Arthur: I am your king!
Dennis' Mother: Well I didn't vote for you.
Arthur: You don't vote for kings!
Dennis' Mother: How'd you become king, then?
Arthur: The Lady of the Lake,... [Angel chorus begins
singing in background] her arm clad in the purest
shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom
of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I,
Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. [Angel chorus ends]
THAT is why I am your king!
Dennis: Listen. Strange women lying in ponds
distributing swords is no basis for a system of
government. Supreme executive power derives from a
mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic
ceremony.
Arthur: Be quiet!
Dennis: You can't expect to wield supreme executive
power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at
you!
Arthur: Shut up!
Dennis: I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an
emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a
scimitar at me, they'd put me away!
Arthur: Shut up! Will you shut up?! [Grabs Dennis and
shakes him]
Dennis: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the
system!
Arthur: Shut up!
Dennis: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the
system! HELP, HELP, I'M BEING REPRESSED!
Arthur: BLOODY PEASANT!!
Dennis: Oh, what a giveaway. Did you hear that? Did you
hear that, eh? That's what I'm on about! Did you see
Presenter Hello, good evening, and welcome to
'Blackmail'! And to start tonight's programme, we go to
Preston in Lancashire, and Mrs Betty Teal!
Cut to a slightly blurred black and white photo of a
housewife with her face blotted out by a black oblong.
Presenter Hello, Mrs Teal!
Cut back to presenter. He picks up a letter and reads
Presenter Now this is for £15 and it's to stop us
revealing the name of your lover in Bolton.
SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: '£15' (which flashes on and off
quickly)
Presenter So Mrs Teal...if you send us £15 by return
post, please, and your husband Trevor, and your lovely
children, Diane, Janice and Juliet need never know the
name of your lover in Bolton.
Cut to a nude man (except for a collar and a tie) at
organ. He plays a few stirring chords. Cut back to
presenter.
Presenter (as he speaks he holds up the various items)
And now...a letter...a hotel registration book...and a
series of photographs...which could add up to divorce,
premature retirement, and possible criminal proceedings
for a company director in Bromsgrove. He's a freemason,
and prospective Tory MP.. that's Mr S. of Bromsgrove...
£3,000...
SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: '£3000' (which flashes on and
off)
Presenter ...to stop us from revealing your name, the
name of the three other people involved, the youth
organization to which they belong, and the shop where
you bought the equipment.
Cut back to nude man at organ with chords again. Cut to
still of two pairs of naked feet and lower legs. Organ
music over this. Cut back to presenter.
Presenter We'll be showing you more of that photograph
later in the programme...unless we hear from Charles or
Michael. And now it's time for our 'Stop the Film'
spot!
SUPERIMPOSED FLASHING CAPTION: 'STOP THE FILM'
Presenter The rules are very simple. We have taken a
film which contains compromising scenes and unpleasant
details, which could wreck a man's career. But, the
victim may phone me at any point and stop the film. But
remember the money increases as the film goes on. So
the longer you leave it...the more you have to pay! So
now, with the clock at £300 this week 'Stop the Film'
visited Thames Ditton...
The following film is shot in murky 8mm. As the film
progresses we have a £ sign with numerals in one corner
which increase. Shot of a residental street in Thames
Ditton (sic). Another section of a street with a figure
in a Robin Hood hat and raincoat - in the distance on
the far side of the road, so we can't really make him
out. Cut to slightly closer shot of him about to cross
the road. Cut to suburban house. The man is standing at
the door pressing the bell and looking round rather
furtively. Again shot from some distance and over a
hedge. Cut back to studio. The presenter looking at a
monitor and then at a phone. Back to the film: a woman
opens the door. She wears a dressing gown over
lingerie. A shaky zoom in to reveal her clothing. Wide
shot of the house with door shut. Jump cut to shot
obviously taken from a window in the house. Shaky zoom
in on window. We can see in the window...both the man
and woman enter the bedroom. He goes out of shot,
taking his coat off. Cut back to studio.
Presenter He's being very brave here...
Cut back to the film: even closer perhaps of window. A
series of short jump cuts. She is undressing. She
throws off her dressing gown. A jump and she's taking
off her negligee. Underneath she wears black corsets.
She produces a whip and seems to be beckoning to the
man. Phone rings. Cut back to the studio. The presenter
picks up the phone.
Presenter Hello, sir, hello, yes. No sir, no, I'm sure
you didn't. No, it's all right, sir, we don't morally
censure, we just want the money....Yes, and here's the
address to send it to:
Mother: (turning off radio) liberal rubbish! Klaus!
Klaus: Yeah?
M: Whaddaya want with yer jugged fish?
K: 'Alibut.
M: The jugged fish IS 'alibut!
K: Well, what fish 'ave you got that isn't jugged?
M: Rabbit.
K: What, rabbit fish?
M: Uuh, yes...it's got fins....
K: Is it dead?
M: Well, it was coughin' up blood last night.
K: All right, I'll have the dead unjugged rabbit fish.
voice over: one dead unjugged rabbit fish later:
K: (putting down his knife and fork) Well, that was
really 'orrible.
M: Aaw, you're always complainin'!
K: Wha's for afters?
M: Rat cake, rat sorbet, rat pudding, or strawberry
tart.
K: (eyes lighting up) Strawberry tart?
M: Well, it's got *some* rat in it.
K: 'Ow much?
M: Three. A lot, really.
K: Well, I'll have a slice without so much rat in it.
voice over: One slice of strawberry tart without so
much rat in it later:
K: (putting down fork and knife) Appalling.
M: Naw, naw, naw!
Son: (coming in the door) 'Ello Mum. 'Ello Dad.
K: 'Ello son.
S: There's a dead bishop on the landing, dad!
K: Really?
M: Where's it from?
S: Waddya mean?
M: What's its diocese?
S: Well, it looked a bit Bath and Wells-ish to me...
K: (getting up and going out the door) I'll go and have
a look.
M: I don't know...kids bringin' 'em in here....
S: It's not me!
M: I've got three of 'em down by the bin, and the
dustmen won't touch 'em!
K: (coming back in) Leicester.
M: 'Ow d'you know?
K: Tattooed on the back o' the neck. I'll call the
police.
M: Shouldn't you call the church?
S: Call the church police!
K: All right. (shouting) The Church Police!
(sirens racing up, followed by a tremendous crash)
(the church police burst in the door)
Detective What's all this then, Amen!
M: Are you the church police?
All the police officers: (in unison) Ho, Yes!
M: There's another dead bishop on the landing, vicar
sargeant!
Detective: Uh, Detective Parson, madam. I see...
suffrican, or diocisian?
M: 'Ow should I know?
D: It's tatooed on the back o' their neck. (spying the
tart) 'Ere, is that rat
tart?
M: yes.
D: Disgusting! Right! Men, the chase is on! Now we
should all kneel!
(they all kneel)
All: O Lord, we beseech thee, tell us 'oo croaked
Lester!
(thunder)
Voice of the Lord: The one in the braces, he done it!
Klaus: It's a fair cop, but society's to blame.
Detective: Agreed. We'll be charging them too.
K: I'd like you to take the three by the bin into
consideration.
D: Right. I'll now ask you all to conclude this harrest
with a hymn.
All: All things bright and beautiful,
All creatures great and small,
All things wise and wonderful,
The church fuzz nicked them all.
Man: I wish those bloody bells would stop.
Wife: Oh, it's quite nice dear, it's Sunday, it's the
church.
Man: What about us atheists? Why should we 'ave to
listen to that sectarian turmoil?
Wife: You're a lapsed atheist, dear.
Man: The principle's the same. Bleeding C-of-E. The
Mohmedans don't come 'round here wavin' bells at us! We
don't get Buddhists playing bagpipes in our bathroom!
Or Hindus harmonizing in the hall! The Shintuists don't
come here shattering sheet glass in the shithouse,
shouting slogans...
Wife: All right, don't practice your alliteration on
Man: Anyway, when I get my membership card and blazer
badge back from the League of Agnostics, I shall urge
the executive to lodge a protest against that religious
racket! Pass the butter knife!
Wife: WHAT??
Man: PASS THE BUTTER KNIFE!! THANK YOU! IF ONLY WE HAD
SOME KIND OF MISSILE!
Wife: 'OLD ON, I'LL CLOSE THE WINDOW.
(Sound: Window closing, bells get faint, but are still
there)
Man: If only we had some kind of missile, we could take
the steam out of those bells.
Wife: Well, you could always use the number 14-St.
Joseph-the-somewhat- divine-on-the-hill ballistic
missile. It's in the attic.
Man: What ballistic missile would this be, then?
(Sound: Bells begin to get increasingly louder)
Wife: I made it for you, it's your birthday present!
Man: Just what I wanted, 'ow nice of you to remember,
my pet. 'EAR!
Wife: WHAT?
Man: THOSE BELLS ARE GETTING LOUDER!
Wife: WHAT?
Man: THOSE BELLS ARE GETTING LOUDER!!
Wife: THE BELLS ARE GETTING LOUDER! OOOH, LOOK!
Man: WHAT?
Wife: THE CHURCH, IT'S GETTING CLOSER! ITS COMING DOWN
THE 'ILL!
Man: WHAT A LIBERTY!
Wife: IT'S TURNING INTO OUR LANE!
Man: STRAIGHT THROUGH THE LIGHTS, OF COURSE.
Wife: TYPICAL, YOU BETTER GO PUT IT OUT OF IT'S MISERY.
Man: WHERE'S THIS MISSILE, THEN?
Wife: IT'S IN THE AIRING CUPBOARD. PRESS THE BUTTON
MARKED CHURCH!
Man: 'OW DO I AIM IT?
Wife: IT AUTOMATICALLY HOMES IN ON THE NEAREST PLACE OF
WORSHIP!
Man: THAT'S ST. MARKS!
Wife: IT ISN'T NOW, LOOK!! OH, ITS OP'NING THE GATE.
Man: WHAT? USE THE MEGAPHONE!
Wife: IT'S OP'NING THE GATE!!
Man: I'LL POP UP THE AIRING CUPBOARD.
Wife: 'HURRY UP, ITS TRAMPLING OVER THE AZALIAS!
(Sound: Missle launch, explosion, bells diminish)
Man: Did I 'it it?
Wife: Yes, right up the aisle.
Man: Well I've always said, There's nothing an agnostic
can't do if he really doesn't know whether he believes
Launcelot: Look, my liege!
(fanfare)
Launcelot: Camelot!
Robin: Camelot!
Galahad: Camelot!
Patsy: (whispered) It's only a model.
Galahad: Shh!
Arthur: Knights, I bid you welcome to your new home.
Let us ride...to
CAMELOT!
song:
We're knights of the round table, we dance whene're
we're able.
We do routines, and border scenes, with footwork imp-e-
cable;
We dine well here in Camelot, we eat ham and jam and
spamalot.
We're knights of the round table, our shows are for-
mid-able
Though many times, we're given rhymes, that are quite
un-sing-able
We're not so bad in Camelot, we sing from the Dia-
phragm alot!
Though we're tough and able,
Quite in-de-fa-ti-gable,
Between our quests, we seek incest and impersonate
Clark Gable,
It's a busy life in Camelot:
I have to push the pram-a-lot!
Arthur: On second thought, let's not go to Camelot. It
is a silly place.
Second Bruce: G'day, Bruce!
First Bruce: Oh, Hello Bruce!
Third Bruce: How are you Bruce?
First Bruce: A bit crook, Bruce.
Second Bruce: Where's Bruce?
First Bruce: He's not 'ere, Bruce.
Third Bruce: Blimey, it's hot in here, Bruce.
First Bruce: Hot enough to boil a monkey's bum!
Second Bruce: That's a strange expression, Bruce.
First Bruce: Well Bruce, I heard the Prime Minister use
it. "It's hot enough to boil a monkey's bum in here,
your Majesty," he said and she smiled quietly to
herself.
Third Bruce: She's a good Sheila Bruce, and not at all
stuck up.
Second Bruce: Here! Here's the boss-fellow now! - how
are you bruce?
(Enter fourth Bruce with English person, Michael)
Fourth Bruce: 'Ow are you, Bruce?
First Bruce: G'day Bruce!
Fourth Bruce: Bruce.
Second Bruce: Hello Bruce.
Fourth Bruce: Bruce.
Third Bruce: How are you, Bruce?
Fourth Bruce: G'day Bruce.
Fourth Bruce: Gentleman, I'd like to introduce man from
Pommeyland who is joinin' us this year in the
philosophy department at the University of Walamaloo.
Everybruce: G'day!
Michael: Hello.
Fourth Bruce: Michael Baldwin, Bruce. Michael Baldwin,
Bruce. Michael Baldwin, Bruce.
First Bruce: Is your name not Bruce?
Michael: No, it's Michael.
Second Bruce: That's going to cause a little confusion.
Third Bruce: Mind if we call you "Bruce" to keep it
clear?
Fourth Bruce: Gentlemen, I think we better start the
faculty meeting. Before we start, though, I'd like to
ask the padre for a prayer.
First Bruce: Oh Lord, we beseech Thee, Amen!!
Everybruce: Amen!
Fourth Bruce: Crack tubes! (Sound of cans opening) Now
I call upon Bruce to officially welcome Mr. Baldwin to
the philosophy faculty.
Second Bruce: I'd like to welcome the pommey bastard to
God's own Earth, and remind him that we don't like
stuck-up sticky-beaks here.
Everybruce: Hear, hear! Well spoken, Bruce!
Fourth Bruce: Bruce here teaches classical philosophy,
Bruce there teaches Haegelian philosophy, and Bruce
here teaches logical positivism. And is also in charge
of the sheep dip.
Third Bruce: What's New-Bruce going to teach?
Fourth Bruce: New-Bruce will be teaching political
science, Machiavelli, Bentham, Locke, Hobbes,
Sutcliffe, Bradman, Lindwall, Miller, Hassett, and
Benaud.
Second Bruce: Those are all cricketers!
Fourth Bruce: Aww, spit!
Third Bruce: Hails of derisive laughter, Bruce!
Everybruce: Australia, Australia, Australia, Australia,
we love you amen!
Fourth Bruce:Bruce: Crack tube! (Sound of cans opening)
Any questions?
Second Bruce: New-Bruce, are you a Poofter?
Fourth Bruce: Are you a Poofter?
Michael: No!
Fourth Bruce: No. Right, I just want to remind you of
the faculty rules: Rule One!
Everybruce: No Poofters!
Fourth Bruce: Rule Two, no member of the faculty is to
maltreat the Abbos in any way at all -- if there's
anybody watching. Rule Three?
Everybruce: No Poofters!!
Fourth Bruce: Rule Four, now this term, I don't want to
catch anybody not drinking. Rule Five,
Everybruce: No Poofters!
Fourth Bruce: Rule Six, there is NO ... Rule Six. Rule
Seven,
Everybruce: No Poofters!!
Fourth Bruce: Right, that concludes the readin' of the
rules, Bruce.
First Bruce: This here's the wattle, the emblem of our
land. You can stick it in a bottle, you can hold it in
your hand.
Everybruce: Amen!
Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable.
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could think you under the table.
David Hume could out-consume
Schopenhauer and Hegel,
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel.
There's nothing Nietzche couldn't teach ya
'Bout the raising of the wrist.
Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed.
John Stuart Mill, of his own free will,
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.
Plato, they say, could stick it away--
Half a crate of whiskey every day.
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle.
Hobbes was fond of his dram,
And Ren Descartes was a drunken fart.
'I drink, therefore I am.'
Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed,
A lovely little thinker,
(Sounds of birds)
Good evening. We apologize most sincerely to those of you
who had bought this record under the impression that it
was in any way connected with the television program,
"Monty Python's Flying Circus". This was due to an error
in the printing stage of the album cover. This album is
in fact called, "Pleasures of the Dance", a collection of
Norwegian carpenter songs compiled by Oscar Tritt.
Good evening, we apologize for the previous apology. This
apology was unnecessary and appeared on the record owing
to an administrative error. This album is not as stated
in the previous apology, "Pleasures of the Dance", a
selection of Norwegian carpenter songs, but a new album
from the humourous television comedy show, "Monty
Python's Flying Circus"
(Short extract from "Pleasures of the Dance", Click)
We apologize for that short extract from the "Pleasures
of the Dance" which appeared on this record of "Monty
Python's Flying Circus" owing to the same administrative
error which resulted in the first apology. The rest of
this record is now totally taken up with..
(laughing).. "Monty Python's Flying Circus"
Always look on the bright side of life
Always look on the bright side of life
Some things in life are bad, they can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse
When you're chewing on life's gristle, don't grumble give a whistle
This will help things turn out for the best
Always look on the bright side of life
Always look on the right side of life
If life seems jolly rotten, there's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing
When you're feeling in the dumps, don't be silly, chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle, that's the thing
So, always look on the bright side of death
Just before you draw your terminal breath
Life's a counterfeit and when you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's the joke, it's true
You see, it's all a show, keep them laughing as you go
Just remember the last laugh is on you
Always look on the bright side of life
And always look on the right side of life
Always look on the bright side of life
Man (Michael Palin): Ah, I'd like to have an argument,
please.
Receptionist (Rita Davies): Certainly sir. Have you
been here before?
M: No, I haven't, this is my first time.
R: I see. Well, do you want to have just one argument,
or were you thinking of taking a course?
M: Well, what is the cost?
R: Well, It's one pound for a five minute argument, but
only eight pounds for a course of ten.
M: Well, I think it would be best if I perhaps started
off with just the one and then see how it goes.
R: Fine. Well, I'll see who's free at the moment. Uh,
Mr. DeBakey's free, but he's a little bit conciliatory.
Ahh yes, Try Mr. Barnard; room 12.
M: Thank you. (closes door)
(Walks down the hall. Opens door.)
Abuser (Graham Chapman): What do you want?
M: Well, I was told outside that...
Abuser: DON'T give me that, you snotty-faced heap of
parrot droppings!
M: What?
Abuser: Shut your festering gob, you tit! Your type
really makes me puke, YOU VACUOUS, TOFFEE-NOSED,
MALODOROUS PERVERT!!!
M: Look, I CAME HERE FOR AN ARGUMENT, I'm not going to
just stand...!!
Abuser: OH, oh I'm sorry, but this is abuse.
M: Oh, I see, well, that explains it.
Abuser: Ah yes, you want room 12a, Just along the
corridor.
M: Oh, Thank you very much. Sorry.
Abuser: Not at all.
M: Thank you. (closes door)
Abuser: Stupid git!
(Walks down the corridor, Knocks)
Arguer (John Cleese): Come in.
M: Uh, is this the right room for an argument?
A: I told you once.
M: No, you haven't.
A: Yes I have.
M: When?
A: Just now.
M: No, you didn't.
A: I did.
M: Didn't.
A: Did!
M: Didn't!
A: I'm telling you I did!
M: You did not!
A: Oh, I'm sorry, just one moment. Is this a five
minute argument or the full half hour?
M: Oh, just the five minutes.
A: Ah, thank you. Anyway, I did.
M: You most certainly did not.
A: Look, let's get this thing clear; I quite definitely
told you.
M: No, you did not.
A: Yes, I did.
M: No, you didn't.
A: Yes, I did.
M: No, you didn't.
A: Yes, I did!
M: No, you didn't!
A: Yes, I did!
M: You didn't!
A: Did!
M: Oh look, this isn't an argument.
A: Yes it is.
M: No, it isn't. It's just contradiction.
A: No, it isn't.
M: It is!
A: It is not!
M: Look, you just contradicted me.
A: I did not!
M: Oh you did!!
A: No, no, no!
M: You did just then.
A: Nonsense!
M: Oh look, this is futile!
A: No, it isn't.
M: I came here for a good argument.
A: No, you didn't; no, you came here for an argument.
M: Well, an argument isn't just contradiction.
A: Can be.
M: No, it can't. An argument is a connected series of
statements intended to establish a proposition.
A: No, it isn't.
M: Yes, it is. It's not just contradiction.
A: Look, if I argue with you, I must take up a contrary
position.
M: Yes, but that's not just saying, "No it isn't".
A: Yes, it is!
M: No, it isn't! Argument is an intellectual process.
Contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of any
statement the other person makes.
(short pause)
A: No, it isn't.
M: Yes, it is.
A: Not at all.
M: Now look--
A: (Rings bell) Good Morning.
M: What?
A: That's it. Good morning.
M: I was just getting interested.
A: Sorry, the five minutes is up.
M: That was never five minutes!
A: I'm afraid it was.
M: It wasn't.
(pause)
A: I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to argue anymore.
M: What?!
A: If you want me to go on arguing, you'll have to pay
for another five minutes.
M: Yes, but that was never five minutes, just now. Oh
come on!
A: (Hums)
M: Look, this is ridiculous.
A: I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to argue unless
you've paid!
M: Oh, all right. (pays)
A: Thank you.
(short pause)
M: Well?
A: Well what?
M: That wasn't really five minutes, just now.
A: I told you, I'm not allowed to argue unless you've
paid.
M: I just paid!
A: No, you didn't.
M: I DID!
A: No, you didn't.
M: Look, I don't want to argue about that!
A: Well, you didn't pay.
M: Aha! If I didn't pay, why are you arguing? I got
you!
A: No, you haven't.
M: Yes, I have. If you're arguing, I must have paid.
A: Not necessarily. I could be arguing in my spare
time.
M: Oh, I've had enough of this.
A: No you haven't.
M: Oh, shut up. (closes door)
(Walks down the stairs. Opens door.)
M: I want to complain.
Complainer (Eric Idle): YOU want to complain? Look at
these shoes. I've only had them three weeks and the
heels are worn right through.
M: No, I want to complain about...
C: If you complain nothing happens, you might as well
not bother.
M: Oh!
C: Oh, my back hurts, it's not a very fine day and I'm
sick and tired of this office.
(Slams door. walks down corridor, opens next door.)
M: Hello, I want to... Oohhh! (Terry clobbers Michael
with comedy mallet)
Head Hitter (Terry Jones): No, no, no. Hold your head
like this, then go "Waaah". Try it again.
M: Uuuwwhh!!
H: Better, Better, but Waah, Waah! Put your hand there.
M: No.
H: Now...
M: Waaaaah!!!
H: Good, Good! That's it.
M: Stop hitting me!
H: What?
M: Stop hitting me!
H: Stop hitting you?
M: Yes!
H: Why did you come in here then?
M: I wanted to complain.
H: Oh no, that's next door. It's being-hit-on-the-head
lessons in here.
Man: Eh, I'd like to have an argument, please.
Receptionist: Certainly, sir. Have you been here
before?
Man: No, I haven't, this is my first time.
Receptionist: I see. Well, do you want to have just one
argument, or were you thinking of taking a course?
Man: Well, what is the cost?
Receptionist: Well, it's one pound for a five-minute
argument, but only eight pounds for a course of ten.
Man: Well, I think it would be best if I perhaps
started of with just the one, and then see how it goes.
Receptionist: Fine. Well, I'll see who's free at the
moment. Mr. Du-Bakey's free, but he's a little bit
conciliatory. Ah, yes, try Mr. Barnard, room 12.
Man: Thank you.
He enters room 12.
Mr. Barnard: WHADDAYOU WANT?
Man: Well, I was told outside that...
Mr. Barnard: DON'T GIVE ME THAT, YOU SNOTTY-FACED HEAP
OF PARROT DROPPINGS!
Man: What?
Mr. Barnard: SHUT YOUR FESTERING GOB, YOU TIT! YOUR
TYPE REALLY MAKES ME PUKE! YOU VACUOUS TOFFEE-NOSED
MALODOROUS PERVERT!!!
Man: Look, I came here for an argument! I'm not just
going to stand here...
Mr. Barnard: OH! Oh! I'm sorry! This is abuse!
Man: Oh I see! Well, that explains it...
Mr. Barnard: Aha! No, you want room 12A, just along the
corridor.
Man: Oh...Thank you very much...Sorry...
Mr. Barnard: Not at all!
Man: Thank you. (Leaves)
Mr. Barnard: (under his breath) Stupid git.
The man knocks at the door to room 12A.
Mr. Vibrating: Come in.
Man: Is this the right room for an argument?
Mr. Vibrating: I've told you once.
Man: No you haven't!
Mr. Vibrating: Yes I have.
Man: When?
Mr. Vibrating: Just now.
Man: No you didn't!
Mr. Vibrating: I did!
Man: Didn't!
Mr. Vibrating: Did!
Man: Didn't!
Mr. Vibrating: I'm telling you, I did!
Man: You did not!
Mr. Vibrating: Oh I'm sorry, just one moment. Is this a
five minute argument, or the full half hour?
Man: Ah! Just the five minutes.
Mr. Vibrating: Ah, thank you.
Anyway, I did.
Man: You most certainly did not!
Mr. Vibrating: Look, let's get this thing clear: I
quite definitely told you!
Man: No you did not!
Mr. Vibrating: Yes I did!
Man: No you didn't!
Mr. Vibrating: Yes I did!
Man: No you didn't!
Mr. Vibrating: Yes I did!
Man: No you didn't!
Mr. Vibrating: Yes I did!
Man: You didn't!
Mr. Vibrating: Did!
Man: Oh look, this isn't an argument!
Mr. Vibrating: Yes it is!
Man: No it isn't! It's just contradiction!
Mr. Vibrating: No it isn't!
Man: It IS!
Mr. Vibrating: It is NOT!
Man: Look, you just contradicted me!
Mr. Vibrating: I did not!
Man: Oh, you DID!
Mr. Vibrating: No no no!
Man: You did just then!
Mr. Vibrating: Nonsense!
Man: (exasperated) Oh, this is futile!!
Mr. Vibrating: No it isn't!
Man: I came here for a good argument!
Mr. Vibrating: No you didn't, no, you came here for an
argument!
Man: An argument isn't just contradiction.
Mr. Vibrating: CAN be!
Man: No it can't! An argument is a connected series of
statements intended to establish a proposition.
Mr. Vibrating: No it isn't!
Man: Yes it is! 'tisn't just contradiction.
Mr. Vibrating: Look, if I argue with you, I must take
up a contrary position!
Man: Yes but that's not just saying "no it isn't".
Mr. Vibrating: Yes it is!
Man: No it isn't! Argument is an intellectual process.
Contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of any
statement the other person makes.
Mr. Vibrating: No it isn't.
Man: Yes it is!
Mr. Vibrating: Not at all!
Man: Now look...
Mr. Vibrating: (Hits a bell on his desk) [DING] Good
morning!
Man: (stunned) What?
Mr. Vibrating: That's it. Good morning.
Man: But I was just getting interested!
Mr. Vibrating: I'm sorry, the five minutes is up.
Man: That was never five minutes!!
Mr. Vibrating: I'm afraid it was.
Man: It wasn't...
Mr. Vibrating: I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to argue
any more.
Man: WHAT??
Mr. Vibrating: If you want me to go on arguing, you'll
have to pay for another five minutes.
Man: Yes, but that was never five minutes just now! Oh
Come on!
Mr. Vibrating: (Hums to himself.)
Man: Look this is ridiculous!
Mr. Vibrating: I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to argue
unless you've paid!
Man: Oh all right. (Pays.)
Mr. Vibrating: Thank you.
Man: Well...
Mr. Vibrating: Well WHAT?
Man: That wasn't really five minutes just now.
Mr. Vibrating: I told you, I'm not allowed to argue
unless you've paid!
Man: Well I just paid!
Mr. Vibrating: No you didn't!
Man: I DID!!!
Mr. Vibrating: No you didn't!
Man: Look, I don't want to argue about that!
Mr. Vibrating: Well, you didn't pay!
Man: Ah HAH!! If I didn't pay, why are you arguing???
I've got you.
Mr. Vibrating: No you haven't!
Man: Yes I have! If you're arguing, I must have paid.
Mr. Vibrating: Not necessarily. I could be arguing in
my spare time.
Man: Oh, I have had enough of this.
Mr. Vibrating: No, you haven't.
Man: Oh, shut up!
(He leaves and sees a door marked complaints; he goes
Man: I want to complain.
Man in Charge: YOU want to complain...look at these
shoes...I've only had them three weeks and the heels
are worn right through.
Man: No, I want to complain about...
Man in Charge: If you complain nothing happens...you
might as well not bother. My back hurts and the middel
of such a fine day and I'm sick and tired of this
office...
(The man exits, walks down the corridor and enters a
room)
Man: Hello, I want to (smack) OHHH!
Spreaders: No, no, no, hold your head like this, then
go 'waaagh'! Try it again.
Man: Woogh!
Spreaders: Better. Better. But 'waaaaagh'! 'Waaaagh'!
Put your hand there...
Man: No!
Spreaders: Now. (Hits him)
Man: Waagh!
Spreaders: Good, good, that's it!
Man: Stop hitting me.
Spreaders: What?
Man: Stop hitting me.
Spreaders: Stop hitting you?
Man: Yes.
Spreaders: Why do you come in here, then?
Man: I wanted to complain.
Spreaders: Oh, no, that's next door. It's being hit on
the head lessons in here.
Narrator: Once upon a time, long, long ago, there lived
in a valley far, far away in the mountains, the most
contented kingdom the world had ever known. It was
called "Happy Valley", and it was ruled over by a wise
old king called Otto. And all his subjects flourished
and were happy, and there were no discontents or
grumblers, because wise king Otto had had them all put
to death along with the trade union leaders many years
before. And all the good happy folk of Happy Valley
sang and danced all day long. And anyone who was for
any reason miserable or unhappy or who had any
difficult personal problems was prosecuted under the
"Happiness Act".
(Sounds of laughter and giggling. A gavel strikes.
Giggling continues throughout)
Prosecutor: Gaspar Sletts, I put it to you that on
February the Fifth of this year, you were very
depressed with malice aforethought, and that you moaned
quietly contrary to the Cheerful Noises Act.
Gaspar Sletts: ...I did.
Defense: May I just explain, m'lud, that the reason for
my client's behavior was that his wife had died that
morning?
(This elicits big laughs. Judge bangs gavel again)
Judge: (laughing) I sentence you to be hanged by the
neck until you cheer up.
(more laughter)
Narrator: And whilst the good folk of Happy Valley
tenaciously frolicked away, their wise old king, who
was a merry old thing, played strange songs on his
Hammond Organ up in the beautiful castle where he lived
with the gracious Queen Syllabub, and their lovely
daughter Mitzi Gaynor, who had fabulous tits and an
enchanting smile, and wooden teeth which she had bought
at a chemist's in Augsburgh, despite the fire risk. She
treasured these teeth, which were made of the finest
pine and she varnished them after every meal. And next
to her teeth, her dearest love was her pet dog, Herman.
She would take Herman for long walks and pet and fuss
over him all day, and steal him tasty tidbits which he
never ate, because sadly, he was dead. And no one had
had the heart to tell her, because she was so sweet and
innocent and knew nothing of gastroenteritis or plastic
hip joints or even personal hygiene. One day, while she
was pulling Herman 'round the lawn, she suddenly fell
in love with the most beautiful young man she had ever
seen, naturally assuming him to be a prince. Well,
luckily he was a prince. So she looked him up in the
Observer's Book of Princes, learned his name and went
and introduced the subject of marriage. And, in what
seemed like the twinkling of an eye, but was in fact a
fortnight, they were on their way to her father's court
to ask his permission to wed.
King Otto:(accompanied by Hammond organ) Ya Di
Bucketty, rum ding ftooo, Ni! Ni! Ni! Yowoooo...
(applause)
King Otto: Thank you, thank you, thank you...
Princess Mitzi: Daddy?
King Otto: Yes, daughter?
Princess Mitzi: This is Charming, who wants to marry
King Otto: Is he a prince?
Princess Mitzi: Yes!
King Otto: Is he in the book?
Princess Mitzi: Yes!
King Otto: Oh, very well. Before I can give my
permission, young man, I must set you a task, which, if
you succeed, will prove you worthy of my daughter's
hand.
Prince Charming: Yes, sir, I accept.
King Otto: Good. At nine o'clock tomorrow morning,
armed only with your sword, you must go to the highest
tower in the castle, and jump out of the window.
Narrator: And so, early the next morning, the young
Prince Charming, dressed in a beautiful white robe, and
gripping his magic sword, plummeted to a painful death.
(terrified scream, followed by a squish, then laughter)
Princess Mitzi: Can we get married now, Daddy?
King Otto: No, my dear, he wasn't worthy of you.
Princess Mitzi: Oh, will he have to go into the ground
like all the others?
King Otto: Hmm, that's a good idea for a song, er...
(Hammond organ) Yum-yum, yum-yum-dee bucketty, rum ding
ftooo, Yi! Ni! Ni! Yowoooo...
(the king is joined by a chorus of singers)
Chorus of Singers: (accompanied by Hammond organ) Ya Di
bucketty, rum fing f-tooo, Ni! Ni! Ni! Yow-oooo...
Narrator: One day, while Princess Mitzi was out
hopefully kissing frogs, she spotted a flash of gold
beneath a weeping willow tree, and there, sure enough,
was a prince. He was rather thin and spotty, with a
long nose and bandy legs, and nasty unpolished plywood
teeth, and bad breath, and a rare foot disease, "But,"
thought Mitzi, "a prince is a prince," and she fell in
love with him without another thought and rushed into
his arms. And after a time, or a few times anyway, he
too fell in love with her, and very soon they were on
their way to ask King Otto's permission to wed.
King Otto:(accompanied by Hammond organ) Ya Di
Bucketty, rum ting f-tooo...
Princess Mitzi: Hello, Daddy.
King Otto: Ni! Ni! Ni!
Princess Mitzi: Hello, Daddy!
King Otto: Yow...oh, hello Mitzi!
Princess Mitzi: This is Prince Walter, who wants to
marry me.
King Otto: Is he in the book?
Princess Mitzi: And in the forward...
King Otto:(in a low, grumbling voice) Oh... Hello,
Walter.
Prince Walter: PRINCE Walter!
King Otto: You little...
Queen Syllabub: Otto!
King Otto: Oh, sorry! So, you want to marry my
daughter, do you?
Prince Walter: Perhaps. (sniffles loudly)
Princess Mitzi: Oh, say you do, Walter!
Prince Walter: Yeah, all right.
King Otto: Well, in that case, I must set you a task,
so that you can prove yourself worthy of my daughter's
hand.
Prince Walter: Why?
King Otto: Because she's a fucking princess, that's
why! I'm sorry. Before you can marry my daughter, you
must go to the highest tower...
Queen Syllabub: Otto!
King Otto: Uh, oh, you must, oh...go down to the town
and get me twenty Rothmans.
Prince Walter: What, now?
King Otto: No, tomorrow morning!
Narrator: And so, early next morning, single-handed,
armed only with 40p, Prince Walter set out for the
tobacconist's. Yard after yard he walked. Minute after
minute ticked by. His body breathed in... and breathed
out. Until...
(door bell jingles)
Prince Walter: Twenty Rothmans, please.
Tobacconist: Certainly, sir.
(cash register bell rings)
(crowd cheering)
Narrator: How all the happy residents of Happy Valley
cheered Prince Walter as he walked back up the hill in
triumph. But just as he was approaching the castle, he
was run over by a London bus, which only goes to show.
(sound of brakes screeching, squish, gasp)
Narrator: And the moral of the story is... Smoking can
GOOD EVENING, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, HERE'S A
LITTLE NUMBER I TOSSED OFF RECENTLY IN THE
CARIBBEAN.
Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis.
Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong.
It's swell to have a stiffy,
It's divine to own a dick.
From the tiniest little tadger,
To the world's biggest prick.
So three cheers for your willy or John Thomas.
Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake.
Your piece-of-pork,
Your wife's best friend,
Your Percy or your cock.
You can wrap it up in ribbons,
You can slip it in your sock.
But don't take it out in public
Or they will stick you in the dock,
And you won't come back.
Why are we here, what's life all about?
Is God really real, or is there some doubt?
Well tonight, we're going to sort it all out
For tonight it's the Meaning of Life.
What's the point of all this hoax?
Is it the chicken and the egg time,
Are we just yolks?
Or perhaps we're just one of God's little jokes.
Well ça c'est the Meaning of Life.
Is life just a game where we make up the rules,
While we're searching for something to say,
Or are we just simply spiralling coils,
Of self-replicating DNA?
In this life, what is our fate?
Is there Heaven and Hell? Do we reincarnate?
Is mankind evolving or is it too late?
Well tonight here's the Meaning of Life.
For millions this life is a sad vale of tears,
Sitting round with nothing to say,
While scientists say we're just spiralling coils,
Of self-replicating DNA.
So just why, why are we here?
And just what, what, what, what do we fear?
Well çe soir, for a change, it will all be made clear,
For this is the Meaning of Life
-c'est la sens de la vie,
[trumpets]
CROWD: [cheering]
PILATE: People of Jewusalem!
CROWD: [chuckling]
PILATE: Wome is your fwiend.
CROWD: [laughing]
PILATE: To pwove our fwiendship, it is customawy at
this time to welease a wongdoer fwom our pwisons.
CROWD: [laughing]
GUARD #3: [chuckling]
PILATE: Whom would you have me welease?
BOB HOSKINS: Welease Woger!
CROWD: Yes! Welease Woger! Welease Woger! [laughing]
PILATE: Vewy well. I shall welease Woger!
CROWD: [cheering]
CENTURION: Sir, uh, we don't have a 'Woger', sir.
PILATE: What?
CENTURION: Uh, we don't have anyone of that name, sir.
PILATE: Ah. We have no 'Woger'!
CROWD: Ohhhhh!
BOB: Well, what about Wodewick, then?
CROWD: Yes! Welease Wodewick! Welease Wodewick!
PILATE: Centuwion, why do they titter so?
CENTURION: Just some, uh, Jewish joke, sir.
PILATE: Are they... wagging me?
CENTURION: Oh, no, sir!
GUARD #3: [chuckling]
PILATE: Vewy well. I shall welease... Wodewick!
CROWD: [laughing]
CENTURION: Sir, we don't have a 'Roderick' either.
PILATE: No 'Woger'? No 'Wodewick'?
CENTURION: Sorry, sir.
PILATE: Who is this 'Wod'--
GUARD #1: [chuckle]
PILATE: Who is the 'Wodewick' to whom you wefer?
BOB: He's a wobber!
CROWD: [laughing]
MAN: And a wapist!
CROWD: [laughing]
WOMAN: And a pickpocket!
CROWD: Yeah! Ahh, no! No! Shh! Shh!...
PILATE: He sounds a notowious cwiminal.
CENTURION: We haven't got him, sir. Mm hm.
PILATE: Do we have anyone in our pwisons at all?
CENTURION: Oh, yes, sir. We've got, uh, 'Samson', sir.
PILATE: Samson?
CENTURION: Samson the Sadducee Strangler, sir. Uh,
Silus the Syrian Assassin. Uh, several seditious
scribes from Caesarea. Uhhh, sixty- seven seers from--
BIGGUS: Let me thpeak to them, Pontiuth!
CENTURION: Oh, no. Oh.
PILATE: Ah. Good idea, Biggus.
BIGGUS: Thitizens! We have Thamthon the Thadduthee
Thtrangler, Thilus...
CROWD: [laughing]
BIGGUS: ...the Athyrian Athathin, theveral theditiouth
We love the Yangtse
Yangtse Kiang
Flowing from Yushu
Down to Ching Kiang
Passing though Chung King
Wuhan and Hoo Kow
3000 miles,
but it gets there somehow
Oh! Szechuan's the province
and Shanghai is the port
And Yangtse is the river
that we all support
We love the Yangtse
Yangtse Kiang
Flowing from Yushu
Down to Ching Kiang
Passing though Chung King
Wuhan and Hoo Kow
3000 miles,
but it gets there somehow
Oh! Szechuan's the province
and Shanghai is the port
And Yangtse is the river
Man: Um, excuse me, is this the undertaker's?
Undertaker: Yup, that's right, what can I do for you,
squire?
Man: Um, well, I wonder if you can help me. My mother
has just died and I'm not quite sure what I should do.
Undertaker: Ah, well, we can 'elp you. We deal with
stiffs.
Man: Stiffs?
Undertaker: Yea. Now there's three things we can do
with your mum. We can bury her, burn her, or dump her.
Man: Dump her?
Undertaker: Dump her in the Thames.
Man: What?
Undertaker: Oh, did you like her?
Man: Yes!
Undertaker: Oh well, we won't dump her, then. Well,
what do you think: a burner, or a burier?
Man: Um, well, um, which would you recommend?
Undertaker: Well they're both nasty. If we burn her,
she gets stuffed in the flames, crackle, crackle,
crackle, which is a bit of a shock if she's not quite
dead. But quick. And then you get a box of ashes, which
you can pretend are hers.
Man: Oh.
Undertaker: Or, if you don't wanna fry her, you can
bury her. And then she'll get eaten up by maggots and
weevils, nibble, nibble, nibble, which isn't so hot if,
as I said, she's not quite dead.
Man: I see. Um. Well, I.. I.. I.. I'm not very sure.
She's definitely dead.
Undertaker: Where is she?
Man: In the sack.
Undertaker: Let's 'ave a look.
Umm, she looks quite young.
Man: Yes, she was.
Undertaker: (over his shoulder) FRED!
Fred: (offstage) Yea!
Undertaker: I THINK WE'VE GOT AN EATER!
Fred: (offstage) I'll get the oven on!
Man: Um, er...excuse me, um, are you... are you
suggesting we should eat my mother?
Undertaker: Yeah. Not raw, not raw. We cook her. She'd
be delicious with a few french fries, a bit of broccoli
and stuffing. Delicious! (smacks his lips)
Man: What!
Well, actually, I do feel a bit peckish - NO! No, I
can't!
Undertaker: Look, we'll eat your mum. Then, if you feel
a bit guilty about it afterwards, we can dig a grave
and you can throw up into it.
Intro: AND NOW MR. TERRY GILLIAM
WILL SING FOR YOU "I'VE GOT
TWO LEGS"
I've got two legs from my hips to the ground
And when I move them they walk around
And when I lift them they the stairs
And when I shave them they ain't got hairs
I've go
holy music]
BABY BRIAN COHEN: [crying]
WISE MAN #1: Ahem.
MANDY COHEN: Ohhh! [whump] Who are you?
WISE MAN #1: We are three wise men.
MANDY: What?!
WISE MAN #1: We are three wise men.
MANDY: Well, what are you doing creeping around a cow
shed at two o'clock in the morning? That doesn't sound
very wise to me.
WISE MAN #3: We are astrologers.
WISE MAN #1: We have come from the East.
MANDY: Is this some kind of joke?
WISE MAN #2: We wish to praise the infant.
WISE MAN #1: We must pay homage to him.
MANDY: Homage? You're all drunk. It's disgusting. Out!
The lot, out!
WISE MAN #1: No--
MANDY: Bursting in here with tales about oriental
fortune tellers. Come on. Out!
WISE MAN #2: No, no. We must see him.
MANDY: Go and praise someone else's brat! Go on!
WISE MAN #2: We--
WISE MAN #1: We were led by a star.
MANDY: Or led by a bottle, more like. Go on. Out!
WISE MAN #1: Well-- well, we must see him. We have
brought presents.
MANDY: Out!
WISE MAN #2: Gold. Frankincense. Myrrh.
MANDY: Well, why didn't you say? He's over there. ---
Sorry the place is a bit of a mess. Well, what is
myrrh, anyway?
WISE MAN #3: It is a valuable balm.
MANDY: A balm? What are you giving him a balm for? It
might bite him.
WISE MAN #3: What?
MANDY: That's a dangerous animal. Quick! Throw it in
the trough.
WISE MAN #1: No, it isn't.
MANDY: Yes, it is. It's great, big mmm...
WISE MAN #3: No, no, no. It is an ointment.
MANDY: Aww, there is an animal called a balm,... or did
I dream it? So, you're astrologers, are you? Well, what
is he then?
WISE MAN #2: Hmm?
MANDY: What star sign is he?
WISE MAN #2: Uh, Capricorn.
MANDY: Uhh, Capricorn, eh? What are they like?
WISE MAN #2: Ooh, but... he is the son of God, our
Messiah.
WISE MAN #1: King of the Jews.
MANDY: And that's Capricorn, is it?
WISE MAN #2: Uh, no, no, no. That's just him.
MANDY: Ohh, I was going to say, 'Otherwise, there'd be
a lot of them.' [sniff]
WISE MAN #1: By what name are you calling him?
MANDY: Uh, 'Brian'.
WISE MEN: We worship you, O Brian, who are Lord over us
all. Praise unto you, Brian, and to the Lord, our
Father. Amen.
MANDY: Do you do a lot of this, then?
WISE MAN #2: What?
MANDY: This praising.
WISE MAN #2: No, no. No, no.
MANDY: Er, well, um, if you're dropping by again, do
pop in. Heh. And thanks a lot for the gold and
frankincense, er, but don't worry too much about the
myrrh next time. All right? Heh. Thank you. Good-bye.
Well, weren't they nice? Hmm. Out of their bloody
The Philosopher's Song
(Monty Python)
Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable.
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could think you under the table.
David Hume could out-consume
Schopenhauer and Hegel,
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel.
There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya
'Bout the raising of the wrist.
John Stuart Mill, of his own free will,
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.
Plato, they say, could stick it away
Half a crate of whiskey every day.
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle,
Hobbes was fond of his dram,
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart:
"I drink, therefore I am"
Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed;
A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he's pissed!
filename[ PHILSPHR
Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!
Who are you?
We are the Knights who say... "Ni"!
No! Not the Knights who say "Ni"!
The same.
Who are thee?
We are the keepers of the sacred words: Ni, Ping, and
Nee-womm!
Nee-womm!
Those who hear them seldom live to tell the tale!
The knights who say "Ni" demand... a sacrifice!
Knights of Ni, we are but simple travelers who seek the
enchanter who lives beyond these woods.
Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!
No! Nooo! Aaaugh! No!
We shall say "Ni" again to you... if you do not appease
Well what is it you want?
We want...
A shrubbery!
A what?
Ni! Ni!! Ni! Ni!
No! No! Please, please, no more! We will find you a
shrubbery.
You must return here with a shrubbery... or else you
will never pass through this wood... alive.
O Knights of Ni, you are just and fair, and we will
return with a shrubbery.
One that looks nice.
Of course!
And not too expensive.
Yes!
Now... go!
O Knights of Ni. We have brought you your shrubbery.
May we go now?
Yes, it is a good shrubbery. I like the laurels
particularly.
But there is one small problem...
What is that?
We are now no longer the Knights Who Say "Ni"!
Ni! Shh! Shh!
We are now the Knights who say "Ekky-ekky-ekky-ekky-
z'Bang, zoom-Boing, z'nourrrwringmm".
Therefore, we must give you a test.
What is this test, O Knights of...
Knights who 'til recently said "Ni"?
Firstly, you must find...
another shrubbery!
Oh not another shrubbery!
then... Then, when you have found the shrubbery,
you must place it here, beside this shrubbery, only
slightly higher, so we get the two-level effect with a
little path running down the middle.
A path! A path! A path! Shh, shhh. Ni! Ni!
kthen, when you have found the shrubbery, you must cut
down the mightiest tree in the forest...
I can see a bare-bottomed mandrill
Slyly eyeing his upper nostril
If he jumps inside there too
I really won't know what to do
I'll be a proud possessor of a kind of nasal zoo
A nasal zoo
I've got a ferret sticking up my nose
And what is worse it constantly explodes
Ferrets don't explode you say
But it happened nine times yesterday
And I should know 'cause each time
I was standing in the way
I've got a ferret sticking up my nose
I've got a ferret sticking up my nose
How it got there I can't tell
But now it's there it hurts like hell
And what is more it radically affects
Lovely spam, wonderful spa-a-m,
Lovely spam, wonderful S Spam,
Spa-a-a-a-a-a-a-am,
Spa-a-a-a-a-a-a-am,
SPA-A-A-A-A-A-A-AM,
SPA-A-A-A-A-A-A-AM,
LOVELY SPAM, LOVELY SPAM,
LOVELY SPAM, LOVELY SPAM,
LOVELY SPA-A-A-A-AM...
Sit on my face and tell me that you love me,
I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you, too.
I love to hear you o-ra-lize,
When I'm between your thighs,
You blow me awaaay.
Sit on my face and let my lips embrace you,
I'll sit on your face and then I'll love you tru-ly.
Life can be fine if we both sixty-nine,
If we sit on our faces
In all sorts of places
And play...'till we're blown awaaaaaaaaaay.
I want another slice of rhubarb tart
I want another lovely slice
I'm not disparaging the blueberry pie
But rhubarb tart is oh-so-very nice
A rhubarb what? A rhubarb tart
A what-barb tart? A rhu-barb tart
I want another slice of rhubarb tart
The principles of modern philosophy
Were postulated by Descartes
Discarding everything he wasn't certain of
He said, "I think therefore I am rhubarb tart"
A rhubarb what? A rhubarb tart
Rene who? Rene Descartes
Poor mutt, he thought he was a rhubarb tart
Rhubarb tart has fascinated all the poets
Especially the Immortal Bard
He made Richard the Third call out at Bosworth Field
"My kingdom for a slice of rhubarb tart"
Immortal what? Immortal tart
Rhubarb what? A rhubarb Bard
As rhymes go that is really pretty bad
Since Wassily Kandinsky and Paul Klee
Laid down the axioms of abstract art
Even Jackson Pollock and Piet Mondrian
Prefer to paint a slice of rhubarb tart
Wassi who? A Wassi-ly
Kandin who? A Kandin-sky
And how he get in there for a start?
Read all the existentialist philosophers
Like Schopenhauer and Jean-Paul Sartre
Even Martin Heidegger agreed on one thing
Eternal happiness is rhubarb tart
A rhubarb what? A rhubarb tart
Jean-Paul who? Jean Paul Sartre
That sounds just like a rhyme from Lionel Bart
I want another slice of rhubarb tart
I want another lovely slice
I'm not disparaging the blueberry pie
Two old women are sitting on the couch listening to the
radio when it explodes. One looks at the other
First Pepperpot (Graham Chapman): We'll have to watch
the Telly-vision!
Second Pepperpot (John Cleese): Aaaaw. (sound of
agreement)
(they turn the couch so it's facing the television. One
turns the television on, and they sit down. There is a
small penguin sitting on top of the television set.)
Both Pepperpots: (singing, mumbled) hhmhmhmhmh...
mhmmhmh mhmhm hhmhmmhm mhmhmmhmhmh
First Pepperpot: What's that on top of the telly-vision
set?
(pause)
Second Pepperpot: (matter-of-factly) Looks like a
penguin.
(pause)
Second Pepperpot: It's been a long time there, now, has
First Pepperpot: What's it doin' there?
Second Pepperpot: Standin'!
First Pepperpot: I can see that!
(pause)
First Pepperpot: If it laid an egg, it would roll down
the back of the telly-vision set.
Second Pepperpot: Ummmm. I hadn't thought of that.
First Pepperpot: Unless it's a male.
Second Pepperpot: Yes. It looks fairly butch.
(pause)
First Pepperpot: Per'aps it's from next door.
Second Pepperpot: (yelling) NEXT DOOR?!? Penguins don't
come from NEXT DOOR! They come from the Antarctic!
First Pepperpot: (yet louder) BURMA!!!
(they both stop short, looking around)
Second Pepperpot: Why'd'j say that?
First Pepperpot: I panicked.
Second Pepperpot: Oh.
First Pepperpot: Per'aps it's from the zoo.
Second Pepperpot: Which zoo?
First Pepperpot: (angrily) 'ow should I know which zoo
it's from?!? I'm not Doctor bloody Bernofsky!!
Second Pepperpot: 'Oo's Doctor bloody Bernofsky?
First Pepperpot: He knows everything.
Second Pepperpot: Oooh, I wouldn't like that, that'd
take all the mystery out of life.
(pause)
Second Pepperpot: Besides, if it were from the zoo,
it'd have "property of the zoo" stamped on it.
First Pepperpot: They don't stamp animals "property of
the zoo"!! You can't stamp a huge lion "property of the
zoo"!!
Second Pepperpot: (confidently) They stamp them when
they're small.
First Pepperpot: (snapping back) What happens when they
moult?
Second Pepperpot: Lions don't moult.
First Pepperpot: No, but penguins do. THERE! I've run
rings around you logically.
Second Pepperpot: (looks at the camera) OOOOH!
INTERCOURSE THE PENGUIN!!!
(The television warms up: a man is sitting behind a
news desk)
Man: Hello! Well, it's just after eight o'clock, and
time for the penguin on top of your television set to
explode.
(the penguin explodes)
First Pepperpot: 'Ow did 'e know that was going to
happen?!
O Lord, please don't burn us,
Don't grill us or toast your flock,
Don't put us on a barbecue,
Or simmer us in stock,
Don't braise us or bake or boil us,
Or stir-fry us in a wok.
Oh please don't lightly poach us,
Or baste us with hot fat,
Don't fricassee or roast us,
Or boil us in a vat,
And please don't stick thy servants, Lord,
