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Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Hal's Club Olympic Games Special

Hey, sports fans! All through the Summer Olympic Coverage, Hal's Club will have healthy and Tasty Fucking Crumbs Granola Bars on sale for just 666 Quatloos for 13! Now that's a deal that you won't want to pass up. Hurry in and stock up--these will be flying off the shelves!
Your Friend,
Hal Itosis

Friday, November 25, 2011

Cat vs. Dog Rasslin'

The WWF Wannabes has bin flounderin' fer a while now, so for an opening act they-uns decided ter train the Netherworld Hotel cats to rassle.  I gotta tell y'all, that thar Leon is purty dang good! He ain't even got no teeth an' these here dogs is down fer the count!
Ole Farmer Billy-Bob done said that's cause the fellers done gave the dogs Shine afore they went in the ring. But it's still lookin' like a winner fer ole Leon!

Picture courtesy of Chuckles

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Cheesemeister and Tiger Woods Sexting Scandal?

The Cheesemeister really seems to be getting around these days! First she's spotted shaking her money maker with Santa. Now this "sext" from Tiger Woods was found on her cell phone.


TIGER: I will jump you out...when was the last time you got undulated?
 
TIGER: Send me something very grandly...Go to the water and take a picture of your arm.
 
TIGER: Oh baby, I want to hop and swim all over your butt at the 8th hole.
 
TIGER: The wife is going for the glibly Nike swimming flipper, can I come over? Should I take the Vogon Fat-Wurm or the Escalade?

Just what is going on with The Cheesemeister lately? Is she having some sort of midlife crisis?
Apparently she has been wearing a big blonde wig and telling people she is Mercedes McMahon from Duluth, MN, and she is a 27 year old receptionist. You know she's telling the truth because she's been on a reality show.
Boy, what a crock of crap that is! Not only does The Cheesy One hate office work, but she is almost 20 years beyond 27!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

WWF Wannabes fear match with Gay Glam Gang


The Gay Glam Gang Guys are the undisputed wrestling champions. Last word I heard is that the WWF Wannabes were afraid to take these fabulous fellas on in the ring!

Friday, December 11, 2009

"Tiger" Woods: Let the Punishment Fit the Crime


Smashing idea!
Make "Tiger" Woods use his given name, Eldrick, and he might not be scoring quite as many "holes in one."

Somehow "he's a real Eldrick in the bedroom" just doesn't have the same appeal, does it?

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Soccer Goalie Takes a Whiz During Game



Heck, y'all, I don't know what the big deal is. This sort of thing happens all the dang time in Ruralia County sports! Most of which is sponsored by none other'n Bullshipper-Hamwhacker Farms Shine!
--Cuzzin Hildy-Bob

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Rasslin' Challenge




















The X Factor gang challenges Death Cheese to a wrestling X-hibition on the Vogon Home World

X Factor vs. Death Cheese Rasslin' Match
by Kenny Penny

Cock-a-doodle-doo! Kenny Penny here with your sportin' report. In an exciting turn of events, the WWF Wannabes and Axe Man rubbed the X Factor superheroes the wrong way when they were drinking at the Qabbixch Pub in the Vogon capitol city of Pbbbbffftttt. But rather than opening a can of Whoop Ass on the rowdy rockers right there, they proposed settling things on the mats. The WWF Wannabes are ready to rumble, and since this is an anything goes match, Axe Man is sharpening his axe. The other members of Death Cheese are ready to support their brethren in the smackdown. The Spooky Guy has been asked to referee. When asked why, Buzzoff said
"Because he's unbiased. He pretty much thinks everyone is an idiot."
"I believe the word I used is 'dumb ass,'" Spooky says. "But whatever works. And for the record, I think that Buzzoff is less of a dumb ass than most. This may be because he's from a different planet. Or maybe at least that his father did not impregnate jackals could be a factor."
Speaking of that old jackal-phile, Knulli Knokkelost will be on hand to cheer his sons, Axe Man and the WWF Wannabes, on to victory.
"Them gonna kick sum ass!" says the medieval executioner and chamber pot cleaner. "Knulli very proud of boys!"
This should be one great exhibition. I personally can't wait! These guys are ready to rumble!
Kenny Penny
official rooster, Bullshipper-Hamwhacker Farm