Wonderful, wonderful Copenhagen
Friendly old girl of a town
'Neath her tavern light
On this merry night
Let us clink and drink one down
To wonderful, wonderful Copenhagen
Salty old queen of the sea
Once I sailed away
But I'm home today
Singing Copenhagen, wonderful, wonderful
Copenhagen for me
I sailed up the Skagerrak
And sailed down the Kattegat
Through the harbor and up to the quay
And there she stands waiting for me
With a welcome so warm and so gay
Wonderful, wonderful Copenhagen
Wonderful, wonderful Copenhagen
Friendly old girl of a town
'Neath her tavern light
On this merry night
Let us clink and drink one down
To wonderful, wonderful Copenhagen
Salty old queen of the sea
Once I sailed away
But I'm home today
Singing Copenhagen, wonderful, wonderful
Composer: Sammy Cahn & Sylvia Fine
Only the sharpest eye, the keenest nose, the quickest ear and the fleetest toes
Can ever outfox the Fox
(The men of the camp echoed, "Can ever outfox the Fox")
Only the stoutest arm, the bravest heart, with a magic charm and a good head start
Can ever outfox the Fox
(Can ever outfox the Fox)
Those who try to tangle with my daring do
End up at the angle that herring do
(They hold their head
like every dead herring do)
Only the sprightliest sprite, the nimblest elf, a wicked old witch or the devil himself
can ever outfox the Fox
(Can ever outfox the fox)
Whenever they try to find me
They find me where I am not
I'm hither and yond, I'm there and gone,
I'm Johnny-not-on-the spot!
(He whistle as he jump to a low tree branch)
I'm out on a limb they think!
(He whistles again, jumping down)
I'm down on the ground in a wink
My enemies say "Gadzooks! It's spooks!"
Shivering in their socks
They know that they'll never, I'm far to clever
They'll never outfox the Fox!
The Fox
There's only one of me
Till suddenly there's two of me
When two is what you see of me
Gadzooks!
Three of me
That's the proper score of me
Three of us is the core of me
And we can tell you-
Woops!
Sorry, four of me
Fa la la!
[Instrumental interlude]
There's one of me, two of me, three of me, four of me, five six seven
Sorry, no more of me
Each as strong as ten are we
Very stout hearted men are we
We're off to fight all wrong
And we'll right it
Right or wrong
I'm hither and yond, I'm there and gone, I'm Johnny-not-on-the spot!
Only the sharpest eye, the keenest nose, the quickest ear and the fleetest toes
Can ever outfox the Fox
Can ever outfox... can ever outfox... can ever outfox... can ever outfox the Fox
Anyone of us can be at anytime the Fox
But I tell you confidentially that I'm the Fox
No I'm no I'm no I'm no I'm no I'm the Fox
Well I'm the Fox
No I'm the Fox
Is he the Fox?
No me the Fox
If he's the one,
Then who's this Fox?
Aren't you the Fox?
Now who's the Fox?
Because no matter who's the Fox
There'll never never never never
never never never
never never never never never outfox the Fox
never outfox the Fox
never outfox the Fox
never outfox the...
Composer: Sammy Cahn & Sylvia Fine
I say come now, Jester.
Tell us what you have in the basket.
Since your Majesty doth ask it,
I will sing about the basket...
With a willow willow waley and a nonny nonny no.
Then to make it really merry,
We will add a haydown dairy...
To the willow and the waley singing gayly as we go.
With a willow willow waley, we will sing about it gayly,
With a very little dairy and a nonny nonny no!
Yes a merry little dairy.
It is very necessary...
To the willow willow waley and a hey nonny no.
What about the basket?
I'm telling you, Sire.
Well hurry up.
This delay is not my fault, sir.
Any minstrel worth his salt, sir.
Can not sing without a waley or a nonny nonny no.
Not to mention hi low lilly...
Or a dilly dilly dilly.
And the merry little dairy which is very come hill fo.
Yes, we sing our stories gayly with a willow willow waley...
And the merry little dairy which is very come hill fo.
And if you are feeling silly,
You can add a didly didly...
To the willow willow waley and a hey nonny no.
But what about the basket?
Oh I oh I was just getting to that, sir.
Well, proceed.
Does the basket hold a biscuit?
Or perhaps there is a tisket?
Or a tasket in the basket...
With a nonny nonny no?
But from Italy I brought it.
The Italian Court doth sport it.
But they don't sing willow waley or a nonny nonny no.
Though they sing about it gayly,
Though they sing about it daily,
They do not sing willow waley or a nonny nonny no.
They do lots of tra la la-ing...
And a bit of ha ha ha-ing,
But no willow willow waley or a hey nonny no!
You say you brought this basket from the Italian Court?
Yes, Sire.
What could they be doing with baskets at the Italian Court?
Oh. Oh... the basket? Well...
In Italy, at harvest time,
When the grape is on the vine,
The people all gather, and they sing about the wine.
They fill their baskets 'til they overflow.
Then from hand to hand the baskets...
Gayly go!
In sunny Italy... sunny Italy...
There's a dance that they dance so prettily.
High up!
Pass the basket. Pass it right along.
[Pass the basket.]
[Pass the basket.]
Hey! Hey!
Hey! It's so rollicky.
Oh! So rollicky.
When you dance it,
You feel so frollicky.
High up!
Pass the basket. Pass it right along.
[Pass the basket.]
[Pass the basket.]
It's a dance you should dance with a bella bella girl.
She's a bella girl if she's a Tarantella girl.
A dance of romance, you remember all your life.
You start out with a basket,
And wind up with a wife.
A wife!
A wife!
A wife for the rest of your life!
Hey!
One bambino and two bambino,
So pass the basket, and pass the vino. And...
High Up!
Join the merry throng...
As we pass it pass it pass it right along.
[Instrumental interlude]
In sunny Italy... sunny Italy...
There's a dance that they dance so prettily.
High up!
Pass the basket. Pass it right along.
[Pass the basket.]
[Pass the basket.]
Oh! Oh!
Oh! It's so rollicky.
Oh! So rollicky.
When you dance it,
You feel so frollicky.
High up!
Pass the basket. Pass it right along.
[Pass the basket.]
[Pass the basket.]
It It It's a dance you should dance with a bella bella girl.
She's a bella girl if she's a Tarantella girl.
A a dance of romance, you remember all your life.
You start out with a basket,
And wind up with a wife.
A wife!
A wife!
A wife for the rest of your life!
Hey!
One bambino and two bambino,
So pass the basket, and pass the vino. And...
High Up!
Join the merry throng...
As we pass it [pass it] pass it [pass it] pass it [pass it] right along.
Composer: Sammy Cahn & Sylvia Fine
Ooooo... ooooo...
Ooooo... ooooo...
Ooooo... ahhhh...
Where walks my true love?
Where does she wander?
We may be dreams apart...
Or just a smile away.
Where goes my true love?
My only true love?
Has she an eager heart...
That longs for mine today?
I'll know my true love...
Don't ask me how or why.
How does the first star know its place...
In the evening sky?
Where 'er my true love...
There will I find her.
Though we be dreams apart...
Or just a smile away.
My heart tells me today...
May be the day.
[Instrumental interlude]
I'll know my true love...
Don't ask me how or why.
How does the first star know its place...
In the evening sky?
Where 'er my true love...
There will I find her.
Though we be dreams apart...
Or just a smile away.
My heart tells me today...
There once was a band, best in the land
Everybody said oh my, they’re grand
But oh, how they laughed when the tuba went by
With an oompah pah, and a great big sigh
Tubby the tuba puffing away never had a tune to play
Always dreamed he’d sing a song instead of puffing all
day long
With his oompah, oom pah pah, oom pah, oompah pah pah
Tubby said oh, gosh oh, gee, wish I had a melody
I’d be better off I know if I didn’t have to blow
This oompah, oom pah pah, oompah, oom pah pah
Then a friendly frog came by and said now Tubby don’t you
Take my bullfrog serenade and you’ll be the star of the
big parade
Tubby sang the song so grand, now he’s leader of the band
He’s as famous as can be with Tubby the tuba’s melody
Then a friendly frog came by and said now Tubby don’t you
Take my bullfrog serenade and you’ll be the star of the
big parade
Tubby sang the song so grand, now he’s leader of the band
He’s as famous as can be with Tubby the tuba’s melody
Three little unexpected children simultaneously
The doctor bought us in you can see
That we'll be three forever and E, I, O
You wouldn't know how agonizing being triplets can be
Each one is individually the victim of that clinical
E, I, O,
Every summer we go away to Baden-Baden-Baden
Every winter we come back home to Walla-Walla-Walla
We do everything alike
We look alike, we dress alike, we walk alike, we talk
alike
And what is more
We hate each other very much
We hate our folks
We're sick of jokes about how hard it is to tell us
apart
If one of us gets the measles, then another one gets
the measles
Then all of gets the measles, and mumps, and croup
How I wish I had a gun, a little gun
It would be fun to shoot the other two and only be one
Mrs. Hildendorfer loves to talk to Mrs. Goldenbasser
Of the day she went to Sloane's and had her silly Willy
Mrs. Hassencooper loves to talk to Mrs. Eldenspritzel
Of her major operation when she had her twins
But when mother comes along she silences the others
She accomplished something that is very rare in mothers
For example just to prove that she was more than ample
She admits Lane Bryant thought that they were measuring
a giant
Dr. Heimerdanner almost lost his bedside manner
On the day that he first slipped upon us three
We do everything alike
We look alike, we dress alike, we walk alike, we talk
alike
And what is more
We hate each other very much
We hate our folks
We're sick of jokes on what an art it is to tell us
apart
We eat the same kind of vittle
We drink from the same kind of bottles
We sit in the same kind of high chair, high chair, high
chair
Momma says that we're a bore and what is more
She didn't want to have us and we didn't want to have
Folks here's a story about Minnie the Moocher
She was a low down hootchie kootcher
She was the roughest and the toughest frail
But Minnie had a heart as big as a whale
Hi hi dee hi dee hi
He he dee he dee he
Hoo hoo do hoo do hoo
(French)
(French)
Ouvre la fenetre, (another French word)
(a bunch of giggling)
She messed around with the king of Sweden
He gave her every little thing that she was needin'
He gave her a million dollars in nickels and dimes
She sat around and counted them a million times
Hi dee Hi dee Hi dee Hi dee Hi dee Hi dee yah
Hee dee hee
(something sounding Russian)
(something else sounding Russian)
(something sounding Oriental)
(something else sounding Oriental)
Oh dah lil layee
Oh dah layee, oh dah layee, oh dah layee
He he
(Danny does some scattin' then tells the choir guys to
try "go ahead")
(Choir guys laugh)
They sent for Minnie where they put the crazies
Now poor ol' Minnie's pushing up the daisies
This ends the story and it ends my song
Composer: Sammy Cahn & Sylvia Fine
Your majesty, I have a confession
My secret I must now betray
I was not a born fool
It took work to get this way
When I was a lad I was gloomy and sad
And I was from the day I was born
When other lads giggled and gurgled and wiggled
I proudly was loudly forlorn
My friends and my family looked at me clammily
Thought there was something amiss
When others found various antics hilarious
All I could manage was this –hoo hoo
Or this – hoo waahhh
My father he shouted he needs to be clouted
His teeth on a wreath I’ll hand him
My mother she cried as she rushed to my side
You’re a brute and you don’t understand him
So they send for a witch with a terrible twitch
To ask how my future impressed her
She took one look at me and cried hehehehehe, he?
What else could he be but a jester?
A jester a jester, a funny idea a jester
No butcher no baker no candlestick maker
And me with the look of a fine undertaker
Impressed her as a jester?
Now where could I learn any comical turn
That was not in a book on the shelf
No teacher to take me and mold me and make me
A merryman fool or an elf
But I’m proud to recall that in no time at all
With no other recourses but my own resources
With firm application and determination
I made a fool of myself!
I bought a little gun and I learned to shoot
I bought a little a horn and I learned to toot
Now I can shoot and toot ain’t that cute? Plbbt!
I started to travel to try to unravel
My mind and to find a new chance
When I got to Spain it was suddenly plain
That the field that appealed was the dance
The Spanish were clannish but I wouldn’t vanish
I learned every step they had planned
The first step of all isn’t hard to recall
Cause the first step of all is to stand
And stand
And stand, and stand, and stand, and stand, and
They sometimes stand this way for days
Then they get very mad at the floor and start to stomp on it
[Smash! Ow!]
After all of my practice the terrible fact is
I made a fool of myself
I sadly decided that dancing as I did
To sing was a thing that was sure
I found me a teacher a crotchety creature
Who used to sing coloratura
She twisted my chin pushed my diaphragm in
With a poker she vocalized me
When she said it was best that I threw out my chest
You may gather that rather surprised me
I was on solid ground till I suddenly found
That in Venice I was to appear
The gala locale was a choppy canal
And me, a high sea gondolier
I nervously perched as the gondola lurched
Before the King’s palazzo
As I started my song my voice it was strong
But my stomach I fear was not so
Oh solo mio, ooohhhhhhhh
Oh solo ooohhhhhhhh Help!
When I fell overboard how his majesty roared
And before a siesta he made me his jester
And I found out soon that to be a buffoon
Was a serious thing as a rule
For a jester’s chief employment
Is to kill himself for your enjoyment
Everybody’s heard of Peter Piper
And the peck of pickled peppers that he picked
That’s such a silly simple children’s game
It hasn’t even got a name
But I’d like to bet that it’ll trip you
And I bet you’re gonna have to say you’re licked
If Peter Piper you pronounce with ease
Then twist your tongue around these
Moses supposes his toeses are roses
But Moses supposes erroneously
For Moses he knowses his toeses aren’t roses
As Moses supposes his toeses to be
That’s tongue twisters
And it seems so easy till the word gets sprung
If you insist you want to try a lisp
Then step up mister and twist your tongue
Now Kissle will whistle at busty Miss. Russell
Who’ll rustle and bustle till Kissle will roar
So Russell asked Axle for Kissle’s dismissal
And this’ll teach Kissle to whistle no more
That’s tongue twisters
And it seems so easy till you twist your tongue
Tito and Tato were tattooed in total
But Toto was only tattooed on his toe
So Tato told Tito where Toto was tattooed
But Tito said Toto’s tattoo wouldn’t show
Theda thought Thora was thumping her thimble
But Thomas thought Thora was thumping her drum
Said Theda if Thora’s not thumping her thimble
I think that she surely is thumping her thumb
That’s tongue twisters
And it seems so easy till the word gets sprung
If you insist you want to try a lisp
Then step up mister and twist your tongue
Now Charley is chary when choosing his cheeses
And cheese is a challenge when Charley arrives
When Charley is charming and chooses a cheddar
Then chews it and chips it and chops in some chives
Heda is hoping to hop to Tahiti
To hack a hibiscus to hang on her hat
Now Heda has hundreds of hats on her hatrack
So how can a hop to Tahiti help that
Snobby Miss. Nora is sniffing her snuffer
The snuffer’s no sniffing it makes Nora sneeze
When Snyda lets Nort know his Nora is sneezing
She snappily snorts Nora’s sneezing a breeze
Sheila is selling her shop at the seashore
For shops at the seashore are so sure to lose
And she’s not so sure of what she should be selling
Should Sheila sell seashells or should she sell shoes
That’s tongue twisters
And it seems so easy till the word gets sprung
If you insist you want to try a lisp
Then step up mister and twist your tongue
Twista felt Twister was trying to whistle
There once was an ugly duckling
With feathers all stubby and brown
And the other birds said in so many words
Get out of town
Get out, get out, get out of town
And he went with a quack and a waddle and a quack
In a flurry of eiderdown
That poor little ugly duckling
Went wandering far and near
But at every place they said to his face
Now get out, get out, get out of here
And he went with a quack and a waddle and a quack
And a very unhappy tear
All through the wintertime he hid himself away
Ashamed to show his face, afraid of what others might
All through the winter in his lonely clump of wheat
Till a flock of swans spied him there and very soon
agreed
You’re a very fine swan indeed!
A swan? Me a swan? Ah, go on!
And he said yes, you’re a swan
Take a look at yourself in the lake and you’ll see
And he looked, and he saw, and he said
I am a swan! Wheeeeeeee!
I’m not such an ugly duckling
No feathers all stubby and brown
For in fact these birds in so many words said
The best in town, the best, the best
The best in town
Not a quack, not a quack, not a waddle or a quack
But a glide and a whistle and a snowy white back
And a head so noble and high
Say who’s an ugly duckling?
Not I!
My dear children, hello. Oh, no no no children,
everyone must answer please hello before we can start.
Hello? Well, that is better. Now, if you would all draw
up your chairs and listen very closely I will tell you
a most unusual story. The story of the little fiddle.
As it is told in Symphony number 45, which was written
by the great Chzekoslovakian composer Andree (gibberish
name) Junior. Now, this story children is very unusual,
because it is told not only with words, but also with
music. But first I want you to meet the symphony
orchestra. How do you do?
Shake hands with the trombone
And the tuba
And the oboe
And the saxaphone, sousaphone, zither and xylophone
Clarinet, buglehorn, fiddle and fuglehorn
Tinny kazoo and the timpani, too
And the piccollo, picollo
Now some of you children may be very surprised to hear
that the symphony is not only music, but that it always
tells a story. Which has a beginning, a middle, and an
end. Except for the unfinished symphony, which has a
beginning.... As I was saying
If you listen you will hear
From the corner of your ear
How the oboe she makes love to the bassoon
And the pipe goes diddle, diddle
And the fiddle's in the middle
And the dish ran away with the spoon.
Heh, heh, heh, that's what she did. Well, so. Now we
tell the story. Which starts with the first movement.
Presto vivace argomento molto, contabale molto, chocolo
molto. And we have the first theme which is naturally
the theme of the little fiddle.
Now this little fiddle is a young girl who lives with
her wicked guardian, which is a french horn. Now this
young girl, who is a beautiful girl, and her wicked
guardian live all alone on a farm. And all she has for
company are a hen, and a dog, and a nanny goat. Now,
one day when her wicked guardian, the french horn, is
upstairs busy washing his coils along came a handsome
young trumpet. When he clasps his eyes on the little
fiddle his heart went zing (musical noise). And he gets
so excited he has a big cadenza, which is a solo
passage in triple time.
This brings us to the second movement, when the little
fiddle is happy, and the trumpet is happy. When
suddenly, out stalks the french horn. Ehhhhhh, what's
going on here says the french horn. The little fiddle
is so putrified her bridge falls out. But the trumpet
says, we love each other. But the french horn is very
objectionable to this marriage. And the trumpet blows
his top, ah shut up! Now I know who you are, you are
not the french horn at all. That (nice music) had me
fooled for awhile but the (bad music) gave you away.
You are a glockenspiel in disguise beyond a doubt
wanted by the police for drowning twelve little fiddles
out. The glockenspiel tries to escape to his flat but
the animals are too sharp for him.
Ow, in the leg!
Ow, in the neck!
Ow, in the face!
Ow, in the other place!
The glockenspiel is trapped, his escape they are
foiling, so he jumps into a kettle drum, which is
This is the story of the King's new clothes:
Now there was once a king who was absolutely insane
about new clothes and one day, two swindlers came to
sell him what they said was a magic suit of clothes.
Now, they held up this particular garment and they
said, "Your Majesty, this is a magic suit." Well, the
truth of the matter is, there was no suit there at all.
But the swindlers were very smart, and they said, "Your
Majesty, to a wise man this is a beautiful raiment but
to a fool it is absolutely invisible." Naturally, the
King not wanting to appear a fool, said,
"Isn't it grand! Isn't it fine! Look at the cut, the
style, the line!
The suit of clothes is all together
But all together it's all together
The most remarkable suit of clothes that I have ever
seen.
These eyes of mine at once determined
The sleeves are velvet, the cape is ermine
The hose are blue and the doublet is a lovely shade of
green.
Somebody send for the Queen."
Well they sent for the Queen and they quickly explained
to her about the magic suit of clothes. And naturally,
the Queen not wanting to appear a fool, said,
"Well, isn't it oh! Isn't it rich! Look at the charm of
every stitch!
The suit of clothes is all together
But all together it's all together
The most remarkable suit of clothes that I have ever
seen.
These eyes of mine at once determined
The sleeves are velvet, the cape is ermine
The hose are blue and the doublet is a lovely shade of
green.
Summon the court to convene."
Well the court convened, and you never saw in your life
as many people as were at that court. All the
ambassadors, the dukes, the earls, the counts, it was
just black with people, and they were all told about
the magic suit of clothes. And after they were told
they naturally didn't want to appear fools and they
said,
"Isn't it ohhh! Isn't it ahhh! Isn't it absolutely
wheee(whistle sound)!
The suit of clothes is all together
But all together it's all together
The most remarkable suit of clothes a tailor ever made.
Now quickly, put it all together
With gloves of leather and hat and feather
It's all together the thing to wear in Saturday's
parade.
Leading the royal brigade."
Now Saturday came and the streets were just lined with
thousands, and thousands, and thousands of people, and
they all were cheering as the artillery came by, the
infantry marched by, the cavalry galloped by. And
everybody was cheering like mad, except one little boy.
You see, he hadn't heard about the magic suit and
didn't know what he was supposed to see. Well, as the
King came by the little boy looked and, horrified,
said,
"Look at the King! Look at the the King! Look at the
King, the King, the King!
The King is in the all together
But all together the all together
He's all together as naked as the day that he was born.
The King is in the all together
But all together the all together
It's all together the very least the King has ever
worn."
All the courts positioned to call an intermission
His majesty is wide open to ridicule and scorn
The King is in the all together
But all together the all together
He's all together as naked as the day that he was born.
The best things happen while you're dancing
Things you would not do at home
Come naturally on the floor
For dancing soon becomes romancing
When you hold a girl in your arms
That you've never held before
Even guys with two left feet
Come out alright if the girl is sweet
If by chance their cheeks should meet while dancing
(Danny)
No two people have ever been so in love, been so in
love, been so in love
(Jane)
No two people have ever been so in love, as my lovey
dove and I
(Danny)
No two people have ever mooned such a moon, Juned such
a June, spooned such a spoon
(Jane)
No two people have ever been so in tune, as my macaroon
and I
(Danny)
And when we kiss. And when we kiss. It's hysterical.
It's historical
(Jane)
Let me tell it
(Danny)
Why, certainly darling
(Jane)
No two people have ever been so in love
(Danny)
Oh your just saying that
(Jane)
Been so in love
(Danny)
Oh you're kiddin'
(Jane)
Been so in love
(Danny)
Really?
(Danny)
No two people have ever been so in love, as my lovey
dove and I
(Danny and Jane) Never before and never again can
anything more romantic happen to me
(Danny)
No two people have ever been so in love
(Jane)
Been so in love
(Danny)
Been so in love
(Jane)
Been so in love
(Danny)
Been so in love
(Jane)
It's incredible
(Jane)
No two people have ever been so in love
(Danny)
Been so in love
(Danny and Jane)
As my lovey dove and I
(Jane)
This is unique. The positive peak. Oh we are the most
unusual couple on earth
(Danny)
No two people have ever mooned such a moon
(Jane)
Mooned such a moon
(Danny)
Juned such a june
(Jane)
Juned such a june
(Danny)
Spooned such a spoon
(Jane)
What he means is that...
(Jane)
No two people have ever been so in tune
(Danny and Jane)
As my macaroon and I
(Danny)
And when we kiss
(Jane)
And when we kiss
(Danny)
And when we kiss
(Jane)
Well it's like this
(Danny)
Well it's hysterical. It's historical
(Jane)
Let me tell it
(Danny)
Be my guest dear
(Jane)
And no two people have ever been so in love
(Danny)
Been so in love
(Jane)
Been so in love
(Danny)
Been so in love
(Jane)
Been so in love
(Danny)
It's impossible
(Danny)
No two people have ever been so in love
(Jane)
Been so
(Danny and Jane)
As my lovey dove and I
(Jane)
This is the cream. The very extreme. The sort of a
dream you couldn't imagine at all
(Danny)
Well, anyway. No two people have ever been so in love
(Jane)
Been so in love
(Danny and Jane)
Composer: Sammy Cahn & Sylvia Fine
My heart knows a lovely song
It whistles it all day long
If you know the melody
Please whistle it back to me
The way the bird in the beechwood tree
Calls to it's mate so I'll call to thee
Oh when will you answer me?
My lips are parched and my throat is numb
Does some inability make you dumb?
If you can cannot whistle, hum
Giacomo is my nom de plume
I whistle and hum, but I hum to whom
There's a little white duck sitting in the water
Little white duck doing what he oughta
He took a bite of a lily pad
Flapped his wings and he said "I'm glad"
That I'm a little white duck sitting in the water
Quack, quack, quack
There's a little green frog swimming in the water
Little green frog doing what he oughta
He jumped right off of the lily pad
That the little duck bit and he said "I'm glad"
That I'm a little green frog swimming in the water
Gulp, gulp, gulp
There's a little black bug floating on the water
A little black bug doing what he oughta
He tickled the frog on the lily pad
That the little duck bit and he said "I'm glad"
That I'm a little black bug floating on the water
Quick, quick, quick
There's a little red snake lying in the water
A little red snake doing what he oughta
He frightened the duck and the frog so bad
And he ate the little bug and he said "I'm glad"
That I'm a little red snake lying in the water
Sss, sss, sss
And now there's nobody left left sitting in the water
Nobody left doing what he oughta
Nothing left but the lily pad
The duck and the frog ran away
There's nobody left sitting in the water
Boo, hoo, hoo
Because of the snake that ate the bug
That tickled the frog
That went kerchug
There's nobody left to sing about alas and alak
Not even the little white duck
Composer: Sammy Cahn & Sylvia Fine
Life couldn't possibly...
Life couldn't better be...
Life could not better be... better be... better be...
It could not possibly, no... no no no... no siree.
Days could not sweeter be...
Could not come...
Clear to be.
Is she in love with me?
Yes. Oh yes. Oh yes, siree.
You're a glum one.
The world is gloomy, and nothin's right.
Then you meet someone...
What a change...
Ho ho! The night...
Skies could not bluer be.
Hearts in love... truer be...
I'd say for you or me...
Life couldn't possibly...
Not even probably...
Life couldn't possibly better be.
[Instrumental interlude]
[Life!] Life could not better be... better be... better be...
[It!] It could not possibly, no... no no no... no siree.
Life's for living...
If you'll pardon the platitude.
Love's for giving,
And that's my new attitude.
Overnight the skies could not bluer be.
Two hearts in love... not truer be...
And I would say for you and me...
Life couldn't possibly...
Not even probably...
Life couldn't possibly...
Not even probably...
Composer: Sammy Cahn & Sylvia Fine
Life could not better be, better be, better be
It could not possibly, no sirrah, sirrah siree
Songs could not gayer be, sound your do re or mi.
Re mi fa so la see fa, la la la, follow me
Why be gloomy? Cut thy nose off to spite thy face?
Listen to me: A nose is hard to replace.
Skies could not bluer be, hearts in love truer be
I'd say for you or me, life couldn't possibly, not even probably,
life couldn't possibly better be
Life could not better be, on a mediaeval spree
knights full of chivalry, villains full of villainy
You'll see as you suspect maidens fair, in silks bedecked
each pride and true effect for the umpteenth time we resurrect
We did research -- authenticity was a must!
Zooks! Did we search! And what did we find?
A lotta dust!
After the dust had cleared, half the cast had a beard
and I'm the one as you can see for whom the bell tolls merrily!
We asked Shakespeare and Francis Bacon would they declare
which one wrote this and they both said: get outta dere!
Which brings us to the plot, plot we got, quite a lot!
As it unfolds you'll see . . . what starts like a scary tale . . . ends like a fairy tale . . .
Two and two are four
Four and four are eight
Eight and eight are sixteen
Sixteen and sixteen are thirty-two
Inchworm, inchworm
Measuring the marigold
You and your arithmatic
You'll probably go far
Inchworm, inchworm
Measuring the marigold
Seems to me you'd stop and see
Down at an english fair one evening I was there
When I heard a showman shouting underneath the flair
I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts
There they are all standing in a row
Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head
Give them a twist a flick of the wrist
That’s what the showman said
I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts
Every ball you throw will make me rich
There stands my wife, the idol of me life
Singing roll a bowl a ball a penny a pitch
Roll a bowl a ball a penny a pitch
Roll a bowl a ball a penny a pitch
Roll a bowl a ball, roll a bowl a ball
Singing roll a bowl a ball a penny a pitch
I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts (they’re lovely)
There they are all standing in a row (one, two, three,
four)
Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head (and
bigger)
Give them a twist a flick of the wrist
That’s what the showman said
I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts
Every ball you throw will make me rich
There stands my wife, the idol of me life
Singing roll a bowl a ball a penny a pitch (all
together now)
Roll a bowl a ball a penny a pitch (harmony)
Roll a bowl a ball a penny a pitch
Roll a bowl a ball, roll a bowl a ball
Composer: Sammy Cahn & Sylvia Fine
Loo, loo, loo, I'll take you dreaming
Through the rainy night
To a place behind the raindrops
Where the stars are bright
You may not find gold or silver
But a richer prize
Waits for you behind the raindrops
If you close your eyes
Tonight, tonight
When all the world's asleep
We will tiptoe home with a wonderous star
A star you can always keep
And years from now when you go dreaming
When you're very old
Though your crown be rich with rubies
Diamonds set in gold
Then we'll shine as bright
As the star we'll find
Tonight
[Instrumental interlude]
Tonight, tonight
When all the world's asleep
We will find a star
Composer: Sammy Cahn & Sylvia Fine
You want to know what manner of man is Giacamo
What manner of man you want to know
A man of the moment is Giacomo
And where the moment leads
There do I go
I live to love
I love to live
I leap from my sleep
When danger cries
And yet I swoon at the moonlight in your eyes
No mighty foe could ever lay me low
And yet your smallest sigh
Could make me die
So sigh a sigh and make me die
I live to love
And love to laugh
I laugh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ha! Oh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...
At prison bars
Who keep at wrist
To be kissed beneath the stars
I prayed you a thousand kisses
For the one kiss you make haste
I kiss your face your eyes your lips your arms your hands your fingertips
I kiss your face your eyes your lips your arms your hands your fingertips
I kiss your face your eyes your lips your arms your hands your fingertips
Mind if I go around again, please?
I kiss your face your eyes your lips your arms your hands your fingertips
I love to live
I live to love
All else above
This little penny is to wish on
And make your wishes come true
This little penny is to dream on
Dream of all you can do
This little penny is a dancing penny
See how it glitters and it glows
Bright as a whistle
Light as a thistle
Quick, quick as a wink
Up on it's twinkling toes
This little penny is to laugh on
To see that tears never fall
This this little penny
Is the last little penny
And the most important of all
For this penny is to love on
And where love is, heaven is there
So with just five pennies, if they're these five pennies
You'll be a millionaire
For this penny is to love on
And where love is, heaven is there
So with just five pennies, if they're these five pennies
You'll be a millionaire
Each morning a missionary advertise with neon sign
He tells the native population that civilization is
fine
And three educated savages holler from a bongo tree
That civilization is a thing for me to see
So bongo, bongo, bongo I don’t want to leave the congo
Oh no no no no no
Bingle, bangle, bungle I’m so happy in the jungle I
refuse to go
Don’t want no bright lights, false teeth, doorbells,
landlords
I make it clear
That no matter how they coax him
I’ll stay right here
I looked through a magazine the missionary’s wife
concealed
(Magazine? What happens?)
I see how people who are civilized bang you with
automobiles
(You know you can get hurt that way Daniel)
At the movies they have to pay many coconuts to see
(What do they see Danny?)
Uncivilized pictures that the newsreels take of me
So bongo, bongo, bong he don’t want to leave the congo
Oh no no no no no
Bingle, bangle, bungle he’s so happy in the jungle he
refuse to go
Don’t want no penthouse, bathtub, streetcars, taxis
Noise in my ear
So no matter how they coax him
I’ll stay right here
They hurry like savages to get aboard an iron train
And though it’s smoky and crowded they’re too civilized
to complain
When they’ve got two weeks vacation they hurry to
vacation grounds
(What do they do Danny)
They swim and they fish but that’s what I do all year
round
So bongo, bongo, bongo I don’t want to leave the congo
Oh no no no no no
Bingle, bangle, bungle I’m so happy in the jungle I
refuse to go
Don’t want no jailhouse, shotguns, fish hooks, golf
clubs
I’ve got my spear
So no matter how they coax him
I’ll stay right here
They have things like the atom bomb
So I think I’ll stay where I “om”
Bloop, bleep, bloop, bleep, bloop, bleep
The faucet keeps a-drippin’ and I can’t sleep
Bleep, bloop, bleep, bloop, bloopbloop, bleep
I guess I never should’ve ordered clam soup
Bloop, bleep, bloopbloop, bleepbleep, bl.bl.bl, bl.bl.bl
I wonder where to go to buy a car cheap
(Warbling) Blblblblblbl (x 6)
What is it with the babe next door
What is it she does to me
What mad kinda thrill do I find
Looking at her walking, just walking by
Don’t know I’m alive but she’s driving me out of my..
Bleeoo, bleep, bloop, bleeep, bl.bl.bl.bl, bl.bl.bl.bl
The faucet keeps a-drippin’ and I just can’t sleep
(Childish crying) Bloop, bleep, bloop, bleep, bloop, bleep
I better call the plumber ‘cause I just can’t
Sloop, er blee, sleebleep, blooblee er sleeboo, bl.bl, blooslee, sleebloo…er
Black strap molasses and wheat germ bread
Makes you live so long you wish you were dead
Add some yogurt and you'll be well fed
With black strap molasses and the wheat germ bread
(Jane Wyman)
My grandpa's older than the old grey mare
He sits rocking in his rocking chair
But now he's got a smile that he can't lose
Grandma's sitting knitting baby shoes
From eating black strap molasses and wheat germ bread
Makes you live so long you wish you were dead
Add some yogurt and you'll be well fed
With black strap molasses and the wheat germ bread
(Jimmy Durante)
I gave up cherry pie and t-bone steak
Chicken fricassee and ice cream cake
I don't need vitamins or pills at all
I even mix it with the Hadacol
I'm eating black strap molasses and wheat germ bread
Makes you live so long you wish you were dead
Add some yogurt and you'll be well fed
With black strap molasses and the wheat germ bread
(Groucho Marx)
My nerves were jumpy and I'd walk the floor
I never got to slep till after four
But since I'm eating right I feel okay
I'm sleeping every night and half the day
From eating black strap molasses and wheat germ bread
Makes you live so long you wish you were dead
Add some yogurt and you'll be well fed
With black strap molasses and the wheat germ bread
(Danny Kaye)
Now I was thinner than a pencil line
Had no muscles and I had no spine
But now I'm friskier than a pup
All you have do is prop me up
Just feed me black strap molasses and wheat germ bread
Makes you live so long you wish you were dead
Add some yogurt and you'll be well fed
With black strap molasses and the wheat germ bread
(JD) I know a fella who is ninety two
(JW) Doctors told the guy that he was through
(DK) But now that the doctor has been proven wrong
(GM) He got more hop in him than Hopalong
From eating black strap molasses and wheat germ bread
Makes you live so long you wish you were dead
Add some yogurt and you'll be well fed
(Whooo hoo hoo hoo, oh you dog)
First you put your two knees close up tight
You swing them to the left and then you swing them to the
right
Step around the floor kinda nice and light
And then you twist around, twist around with all of your
might
Spread your lovin’ arms way out in space
You do the eagle rock with such style and grace
You put your left foot out and then you bring it back
That’s what I call ballin’ the jack
Oh, don’t do me that way
Listen to that man go, he’s crazy, I swear, he’s crazy
Now follow me closely on this one, real closely and do me
after me
First you put your two knees close up tight, real close,
real close
Swing then to the left and then you swing them to the
right,
Oh you’re delicious
Step around the floor kinda nice and light
And then you twist around, twist around with all of your
might
Spread your lovin’ arms way out in space
You do the eagle rock with such style and grace
You put your left foot out and then you bring it back
Anywhere I wander, anywhere I roam
Till I'm in the arms of my darling again
My heart will find no home
Anywhere I wander, anywhere I roam
Her/His arms were warm as they welcomed me
Her/His eyes were a fire bright
And then I knew that my path must be
Through the ever haunted night
Anywhere I wander, anywhere I roam
Till I'm in the arms of my darling again
My heart will find no home
Anywhere I wander, anywhere I roam
Her/His voice was oh such a soft caress
Of love it gently told
And in her/his smile was the tenderness
I may never more behold
Anywhere I wander, anywhere I roam
Till I'm in the arms of my darling again
My heart will find no home
In the land of San Domingo
Lived a girl called Oh By Jingo
From the fields and from the marshes
Came the young and oh by goshes
They all spoke with a different lingo
But they all loved Oh By Jingo
And every night, they sang in the pale moonlight
Oh by gee by gosh by gum by jove
Oh By Jingo won't you hear our love
We will build for you a hut
You will be our favourite nut
We will have a lot of little Oh By Gollies
And we'll put them in the follies
By Jingo said "By gosh by gee
By jiminy please don't bother me"
So they all went away singing
Oh by gee by gosh by gum by jove By Jingo
By gee, you're the only girl for me.
Oh by gee by gosh by gum by jove
Oh By Jingo won't you hear our love
We will build for you a hut
You will be our favourite nut
We will have a lot of little Oh By Gollies
And we'll put them in the follies
By Jingo said "By gosh by gee
By jiminy please don't bother me"
So they all went away singing
Oh by gee by gosh by gum by jove By Jingo
This suspense is killing me
I can't stand uncertainty
Tell me now, I got to know
Whether you want me to stay or go
Love me or leave me and let me be lonely
You won't believe me and I love you only
I'd rather be lonely than happy with somebody else
You might find the nighttime the right time for kissing
But nighttime is my time for just reminiscing
Regretting instead of forgetting with somebody else
There'll be no one unless that someone is you
I intend to be independently blue
I want your love, but I don't want to borrow
To have it today, to give back tomorrow
For my love is your love, there's no love for nobody else
Oh, love me or leave me, let me be lonely
You won't believe me and I love you only
I'd rather be lonely than happy with somebody else
You might find the nighttime the right time for kissing
But nighttime is my time for just reminiscing
Regretting instead of forgetting with somebody else
There'll be no one unless that someone is you
I intend to be independently blue, oh, so blue
I want your love, but I don't want to borrow
To have it today, to give back tomorrow
My dear children, hello. Oh, no no no children,
everyone must answer please hello before we can start.
Hello? Well, that is better. Now, if you would all draw
up your chairs and listen very closely I will tell you
a most unusual story. The story of the little fiddle.
As it is told in Symphony number 45, which was written
by the great Chzekoslovakian composer Andree (gibberish
name) Junior. Now, this story children is very unusual,
because it is told not only with words, but also with
music. But first I want you to meet the symphony
orchestra. How do you do?
Shake hands with the trombone
And the tuba
And the oboe
And the saxaphone, sousaphone, zither and xylophone
Clarinet, buglehorn, fiddle and fuglehorn
Tinny kazoo and the timpani, too
And the piccollo, picollo
Now some of you children may be very surprised to hear
that the symphony is not only music, but that it always
tells a story. Which has a beginning, a middle, and an
end. Except for the unfinished symphony, which has a
beginning.... As I was saying
If you listen you will hear
From the corner of your ear
How the oboe she makes love to the bassoon
And the pipe goes diddle, diddle
And the fiddle's in the middle
And the dish ran away with the spoon.
Heh, heh, heh, that's what she did. Well, so. Now we
tell the story. Which starts with the first movement.
Presto vivace argomento molto, contabale molto, chocolo
molto. And we have the first theme which is naturally
the theme of the little fiddle.
Now this little fiddle is a young girl who lives with
her wicked guardian, which is a french horn. Now this
young girl, who is a beautiful girl, and her wicked
guardian live all alone on a farm. And all she has for
company are a hen, and a dog, and a nanny goat. Now,
one day when her wicked guardian, the french horn, is
upstairs busy washing his coils along came a handsome
young trumpet. When he clasps his eyes on the little
fiddle his heart went zing (musical noise). And he gets
so excited he has a big cadenza, which is a solo
passage in triple time.
This brings us to the second movement, when the little
fiddle is happy, and the trumpet is happy. When
suddenly, out stalks the french horn. Ehhhhhh, what's
going on here says the french horn. The little fiddle
is so putrified her bridge falls out. But the trumpet
says, we love each other. But the french horn is very
objectionable to this marriage. And the trumpet blows
his top, ah shut up! Now I know who you are, you are
not the french horn at all. That (nice music) had me
fooled for awhile but the (bad music) gave you away.
You are a glockenspiel in disguise beyond a doubt
wanted by the police for drowning twelve little fiddles
out. The glockenspiel tries to escape to his flat but
the animals are too sharp for him.
Ow, in the leg!
Ow, in the neck!
Ow, in the face!
Ow, in the other place!
The glockenspiel is trapped, his escape they are
foiling, so he jumps into a kettle drum, which is
In Tropical climes there are certain times of day
When all the citizens retire to take their clothes off and perspire
It's one of those rules the greatest fools obey
Because the Sun is far too sultry and one must avoid its ultry-violet
rays
The natives grieve when the White Men leave their huts
Because they're obviously, definitely, nuts!
Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun
The Japanese don't care to, the Chinese wouldn't dare to
Hindus and Argentines sleep firmly from twelve till one
But Englishmen detest a siesta
In the Philippines they have lovely screens to protect you from the
glare
In the Malay States there are hats like plates which the Britishers
won't wear
At twelve noon the natives swoon and no further work is done
But mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun
It's such a surprise for the Eastern eyes to see
That though the English are effete, they're quite impervious to heat
When the White Man rides, every native hides in glee
Because the simple creatures hope he will impale his solar topi on a
tree
It seems such a shame when the English claim the Earth
That they give rise to such hilarity and mirth
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
Ho=ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho
He-he-he-he-he-he-he
Hm-hm-hm-hm-hm
Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun
The toughest Burmese bandit can never understand it
In Rangoon the heat of noon is just what the natives shun
They put their Scotch or Rye down and lie down
In a jungle town where the Sun beats down to the rage of man and beast
The English garb of the English Sahib merely gets a bit more creased
In Bangkok at twelve o'clock they foam at the mouth and run
But mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun
Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun
The smallest Malay rabbit deplores this foolish habit
In Hong Kong they strike a gong and fire off a noonday gun
To reprimand each inmate, who's in late
In the mangrove swamps where the python romps there is peace from
twelve till two
Even caribous lie around and snooze for there's nothing else to do
In Bengal to move at all is seldom if ever done
But mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday
Out in the midday
Out in the midday
Out in the midday
Out in the midday
Out in the midday
It all began when I was born a month too soon
My ma was frightened by a runaway saloon
Pa was forced to be a hobo
Because he played the oboe
And the oboe, it is clearly understood
Is an ill wind that no one blows good
I'll never forget the morning
That Grandpa ate the awning
To impress a pretty lady
Who went for men that were shady
Then my uncle Josia lit the Chicago fire
Ran off to Hawaii with the O'Leary cow
Which his loving wife resented
And there upon invented
A rolling pin that strikes and then says pow
And I'm the result of the twisted eugenics
Of this family of inbred schizophrenics
The end of a long long line of bats
I design women's hats
I'm Anatole of Paris
I shriek with chic, my hat of the week
'Cause 6 divorces, 3 runaway horses
I'm Anatole of Paris
The hats I sell make husbands yell
"Is that a hat or a two room flat?"
Let me get my paw
On a little piece of straw and viola
A chapeau, at 60 bucks a throw
It's how I pull and chew on it
The little things I do on it
Like placing yards of lacing
Or a bicycle built for two on it
The little ones, the big ones
The sat on by a pig ones
The foolish ones that perch
And the ghoulish ones that lurch
The one called whiskey sour
Designed for the cocktail hour
A little snip, a potato chip
And a trifle off the Eiffel Tower
I'm Anatole of Paris, I must design
I'm just like wine, I go to your head
Give me thread and the needle
I itch, I twitch to stitch
I'm a glutton for cutting
For putting with a button
To snip and pluck, nip and tuck
Fix and trim, plan the brim
Tote that barge, lift that bail
And why do I sew each new chapeau
With a style they most look positively grim in
In the land of San Domingo
Lived a girl called Oh By Jingo
From the fields and from the marshes
Came the young and oh by goshes
They all spoke with a different lingo
But they all loved Oh By Jingo
And every night, they sang in the pale moonlight
Oh by gee by gosh by gum by jove
Oh By Jingo won't you hear our love
We will build for you a hut
You will be our favourite nut
We will have a lot of little Oh By Gollies
And we'll put them in the follies
By Jingo said "By gosh by gee
By jiminy please don't bother me"
So they all went away singing
Oh by gee by gosh by gum by jove By Jingo
By gee, you're the only girl for me.
Oh by gee by gosh by gum by jove
Oh By Jingo won't you hear our love
We will build for you a hut
You will be our favourite nut
We will have a lot of little Oh By Gollies
And we'll put them in the follies
By Jingo said "By gosh by gee
By jiminy please don't bother me"
So they all went away singing
Oh by gee by gosh by gum by jove By Jingo
![What's My Line? - Danny Kaye; Tony Randall [panel] (Oct 16, 1960)](http://web.archive.org./web/20140423063022im_/http://i1.ytimg.com/vi/4wwwzDrSsLA/0.jpg "What's My Line? - Danny Kaye; Tony Randall [panel] (Oct 16, 1960)")
