Plot
Whicher,retired from the police after his failure to solve the Road Hill House case,encounters Susan Spencer in a rough tavern,seeking her niece Mary,who came to London to find Stephen Gann,father of her baby. Soon afterwards Mary is found slain and the child missing and Whicher offers to help Susan find the killer. The baby is located at a home for unwed mothers,run by Reverend Marlow,who believes Mary went after Stephen,who rejected her. Whicher learns that Stephen's father was hung for murdering Susan's father though Mary knew nothing about it. Stephen and an opportunistic thief are the main murder suspects but Stephen convinces Whicher that he was the intended victim as he was about to hear important news from his grandfather Joshua,now in an insane asylum. Whicher inveigles his way into the asylum to speak to Joshua and,in solving the case,uncovers dark secrets in the Gann and Spencer families as well as betrayal by a corrupt policeman.
Plot
Jeremy is a young comic determined to take his comedy to the next level, even if it means losing his job, girlfriend, and the roof over his head. It's not until he finds himself homeless, that he decides to quit comedy. On his last attempt, he discovers he's just lived the material his comedy lacked.
Keywords: based-on-standup-comedy, comic
A young comic learns that life experience is key to great comedy.
Plot
"From Afar" traces the malaise of a young Iranian artist and intellectual in three episodes: Book Burning, Breathing and Dawn. The Young protagonist lives in contemporary Tehran and he appears as a film student, an asthmatic businessman and a successful architect. In each story, he journeys toward a spiritual insight or emotion.
Plot
Structured as four stories and set in Vancouver, we follow four individuals going through hard times, trying to find their way through life. But it's a bumpy road with problems and addictions lurking around each corner. As each tale unfolds we begin to learn how directly or indirectly each person affects one another. TK, is a lost soul, addicted to drugs and unable to remember anything about himself, including his own name. On their way to score, TK makes eye contact with a stranger passing by in a car, who ends up jumping out and chasing after him and his friends. The junkies get away, but not before the stranger shouts "Tom!" leaving a bewildered TK full of questions and now on a search for answers. Bryan is a grade eleven high-school teacher obsessed with one of his students, Karen. Knowing full well of the risks and ramifications if he acts on his urges, he begins searching for excitement in all the wrong places. Will Bryan cross the line? Alice, a prostitute, is addicted to drugs and simply waiting to die. Her child waits at home with her careless, drug addicted, pimp boyfriend. What does a woman do that's been forgotten by society and made poor choices her whole life? Last is Karen, the student Bryan is obsessed with. She appears to have everything. She's beautiful, smart, and hangs with the in crowd. But we quickly learn nothing's as it seems.
In a mad world, four lost souls collide
Plot
As part of a job that he is promised, Xavier, an economics student in his twenties, signs on to a European exchange program in order to gain working knowledge of the Spanish language. Promising that they'll remain close, he says farewell to his loving girlfriend, then heads to Barcelona. Following his arrival, Xavier is soon thrust into a cultural melting pot when he moves into an apartment full of international students. An Italian, an English girl, a boy from Denmark, a young girl from Belgium, a German and a girl from Tarragona all join him in a series of adventures that serve as an initiation to life.
Keywords: adulterous-wife, adultery, airplane, apartment, barcelona-spain, bare-butt, bed, black-humor, black-panties, boyfriend-girlfriend-relationship
They came from Paris, Rome, London and Berlin to... l'Auberge Espagnole ...where a year can change a lifetime.
Je ne sais pas pourquoi le monde est devenu un tel bordel
Wendy: Xavier's gone to school. Okay?::Xavier's Mother: Ah, oui! Il est à la fac.::Wendy: What?::Xavier's Mother: La fac!::Wendy: LA "FUCK"?::Xavier's Mother: Yes. After fac he can telephone maman.
Wendy: I'm going to fuck!
[Xavier is trying to convince Wendy to come with the gang to a night club]::Wendy: Xavier, I can't. I've... I've really got to write, okay?::Xavier: But, Wendy, you will write tomorrow. Come on!::Wendy: No. This is my diary. You know, I need to be disciplined.::Xavier: Wendy, you're too serious, you know!::Wendy: What do you mean, I'm too serious?::Xavier: You are not a nun! Come on! Come with us tonight, please!::Wendy: Listen! I'm not a nun! I just don't want to go out with... e-e-everyone! I don't like clubs and... and I don't like dancing. Maybe I'm not your idea of a typical trendy London girl, but techno music bulls me, all right? And if I'm a nun because I don't get out of this house enough for you guys, then that's too bad!
Xavier: He was just like the jerks I always try to avoid. Why was he so desperate to talk to me?
Xavier: When you first arrive in a new city, nothing makes sense. Everythings unknown, virgin... After you've lived here, walked these streets, you'll know them inside out. You'll know these people. Once you've lived here, crossed this street 10, 20, 1000 times... it'll belong to you because you've lived there. That was about to happen to me, but I didn't know it yet.
Xavier: Urquinaona, which sounded Sioux, was added to the list of once bizarre-sounding names tucked into my brain. Urquinaona slipped in next to Honolulu, Punxsutawney, Piccadilly, Massachusetts, Saskatoon and Machu Picchu. It became normal and familiar.
Xavier: Later, much later, back in Paris, each harrowing ordeal will become an adventure. For some idiotic reason, your most horrific experiences are the stories you most love to tell.
Xavier: It was like I'd always lived in this mess. Their bickering was like the constant drone in my head since childhood.
Isabelle: It's contradictory to defend Catalan at the very moment we're creating a European Union.::Catalan Student 2: I don't agree. First of all, because we're dicussing identity. There's not one single valid identity, but many varied and perfectly compatible identities. It's a question of respect. For example, I have at least two identities: my Gambian identity, which I carry internally, and my Catalan identity. It's not contradictory to combine identities.
Isabelle: Chicks are wacko, I swear.
Plot
Based on the cult comic, Blood for the Muse tells the harrowing tale of a man's faith and the blood-soaked extremes he explores to hear the siren's call of the Dark Muse! Believing tragedy brings her to him, Josh becomes a serial killer preying on call girls! Can his new girlfriend stop his gory rampage or will she become his last victim?
Keywords: actor-shares-first-name-with-character, female-nudity, independent-film
Plot
Albert Zack is a struggling, bumbling, advertising salesman hired to save the Beaver Bra Company from impending doom. He is charged with signing five specific, world-famous, busty woman as endorsers for the bra line. Silly antics and situations occur as he tries, mostly in various costumes, to get close enough to these women to make his pitch for their signature. Working against him are two board members who stand to gain if the company fails. As he circles the globe in search of these signatures, he is faced with a variety of challenges, one of which is a relationship with his own secretary.
Keywords: advertising, costume, entire-title-is-capitalized-acronym, erotica, female-nudity, hollywood-sign, independent-film, mirror, travel
C.O.D. is the comedy that delivers!
A landlord is the owner of a house, apartment, condominium, land or real estate which is rented or leased to an individual or business, who is called a tenant (also a lessee or renter). When a juristic person is in this position, the term landlord is used. Other terms include lessor and owner. The term landlady may be used for female owners, and lessor applies to both genders.
Landowner may be traced back to the Roman Empire and the manorial system (seignorialism), which began under it — peasants were bound to the land and dependent on their landlords for protection and justice. Under the feudalism such relations became widespread.
The two parties step into relationship under the law of real estate property by signing a contract called lease. With this contract the one party, which has superior title to the property, i.e. the landlord, grants possession and use of it for a limited period to the other party, i.e. the tenant. The landlord/landlady may not be the actual owner of the property but keeping in some way the right to sub-lease.
Jocelyn Eve Stoker (born 11 April 1987), better known by her stage name Joss Stone, is an English soul singer-songwriter and actress. Stone rose to fame in late 2003 with her multi-platinum debut album, The Soul Sessions, which made the 2004 Mercury Prize shortlist. Her second album, the equally multiplatinum Mind Body & Soul, topped the UK Albums Chart for one week and spawned the top ten hit "You Had Me", Stone's most successful single on the UK Singles Chart to date. Both album and single each received one nomination at the 2005 Grammy Awards, while Stone herself was nominated for Best New Artist, and in an annual BBC poll of music critics, Sound of 2004 was ranked fifth as a predicted breakthrough act of 2004. She became the youngest British female singer to top the UK Albums Chart in history to have her first album at number one. In early 2009, she joined the eclectic supergroup SuperHeavy.
Alastair James Hay "Al" Murray (born 10 May 1968), is a British comedian best known for his stand-up persona, The Pub Landlord, a stereotypical xenophobic public house licensee. In 2003, he was listed in The Observer as one of the 50 funniest acts in British comedy. In 2007 he was voted the 16th greatest stand-up comic on Channel 4's 100 Greatest Stand-Ups and again in the updated 2010 list as the 25th greatest stand-up comic.
Murray was born in Stewkley, Buckinghamshire, the son of Lieutenant Colonel Ingram Bernard Hay Murray (through whom he is a great-great-great-great-great-grandson of John Murray, 3rd Duke of Atholl) and Juliet Anne Thackeray Ritchie (through whom he is a great-great-great-grandson of William Makepeace Thackeray). His grandfather was diplomat Sir Ralph Murray. Murray attended Bedford School and is a graduate of St Edmund Hall, Oxford, where he studied modern history. There he performed in the comedy group, the Oxford Revue in a show directed by Stewart Lee.
Murray married Amber, in 2000. The couple, who have two daughters, Scarlett and Willow, separated in 2008.
Written by Sting & Stewart Copeland
I don't want to rent your house from you
I don't know how you can expect me to
I ain't moving 'cause I know my rights
Too many homeless on the streets at night
You own a street and a block of flats
You earn your living like the other rats
You've no morality what do you care
You deal in poverty you buy despair
I ain't moving 'till the bailiff comes
I've got no weapons, gonna get me some
I ain't moving 'till the bailiff comes
I've got no weapons, gonna get me some
You go and call yourself a business man
You're just a parasite on Phylosan
You're just a middle-class middle-aged shit
You sold your granny for a three-penny bit
You own a street and a block of flats
You earn your living like the other rats
You've no morality what do you care
You deal in poverty you buy despair
I ain't moving 'till the bailiff comes
I've got no weapons, gonna get me some
I ain't moving 'till the bailiff comes
I've got no weapons, gonna get me some
I ain't moving 'till the bailiff comes
I've got no weapons, gonna get me some
I ain't moving 'till the bailiff comes
I've got no weapons, gonna get me some
You go and call yourself a business man
You're just a parasite on Phylosan
You're just a middle-class middle-aged shit
You sold your granny for a three-penny bit
You own a street and a block of flats
You earn your living like the other rats
You've no morality what do you care
You deal in poverty you buy despair
I ain't moving 'till the bailiff comes
I've got no weapons, gonna get me some
I ain't moving 'till the bailiff comes
I've got no weapons, gonna get me some
I ain't moving 'till the bailiff comes
I've got no weapons, gonna get me some
I ain't moving 'till the bailiff comes
I've got no weapons, gonna get me some
I ain't moving 'till the bailiff comes
I've got no weapons, gonna get me some
I ain't moving 'till the bailiff comes
I've got no weapons, gonna get me some
Written by Sting & Stewart Copeland
I don't want to rent your house from you
I don't know how you can expect me to
I ain't moving 'cause I know my rights
Too many homeless on the streets at night
You own a street and a block of flats
You earn your living like the other rats
You've no morality what do you care
You deal in poverty you buy despair
I ain't moving 'till the bailiff comes
I've got no weapons, gonna get me some
I ain't moving 'till the bailiff comes
I've got no weapons, gonna get me some
You go and call yourself a business man
You're just a parasite on Phylosan
You're just a middle-class middle-aged shit
You sold your granny for a three-penny bit
You own a street and a block of flats
You earn your living like the other rats
You've no morality what do you care
You deal in poverty you buy despair
I ain't moving 'till the bailiff comes
I've got no weapons, gonna get me some
I ain't moving 'till the bailiff comes
I've got no weapons, gonna get me some
I ain't moving 'till the bailiff comes
I've got no weapons, gonna get me some
I ain't moving 'till the bailiff comes
I've got no weapons, gonna get me some
You go and call yourself a business man
You're just a parasite on Phylosan
You're just a middle-class middle-aged shit
You sold your granny for a three-penny bit
You own a street and a block of flats
You earn your living like the other rats
You've no morality what do you care
You deal in poverty you buy despair
I ain't moving 'till the bailiff comes
I've got no weapons, gonna get me some
I ain't moving 'till the bailiff comes
I've got no weapons, gonna get me some
I ain't moving 'till the bailiff comes
I've got no weapons, gonna get me some
I ain't moving 'till the bailiff comes
I've got no weapons, gonna get me some
I ain't moving 'till the bailiff comes
I've got no weapons, gonna get me some
I ain't moving 'till the bailiff comes
I've got no weapons, gonna get me some
I don't want to rent your house from you
I don't know how you can expect me to
I ain't moving 'cause I know my rights
Too many homeless on the streets at night
You own a street and a block of flats
You earn your living like the other rats
You've no morality what do you care
You deal in poverty you buy despair
I ain't moving 'till the bailiff comes
I've got no weapons, gonna get me some
I ain't moving 'till the bailiff comes
I've got no weapons, gonna get me some
You go and call yourself a business man
You're just a parasite on Phylosan
You're just a middle-class middle-aged shit
You sold your granny for a three-penny bit
You own a street and a block of flats
You earn your living like the other rats
You've no morality what do you care
You deal in poverty you buy despair
I ain't moving 'till the bailiff comes
I've got no weapons, gonna get me some
I ain't moving 'till the bailiff comes
I've got no weapons, gonna get me some
I ain't moving 'till the bailiff comes
I've got no weapons, gonna get me some
I ain't moving 'till the bailiff comes
I've got no weapons, gonna get me some
You go and call yourself a business man
You're just a parasite on Phylosan
You're just a middle-class middle-aged shit
You sold your granny for a three-penny bit
You own a street and a block of flats
You earn your living like the other rats
You've no morality what do you care
You deal in poverty you buy despair
I ain't moving 'till the bailiff comes
I've got no weapons, gonna get me some
I ain't moving 'till the bailiff comes
I've got no weapons, gonna get me some
I ain't moving 'till the bailiff comes
I've got no weapons, gonna get me some
I ain't moving 'till the bailiff comes
I've got no weapons, gonna get me some
I ain't moving 'till the bailiff comes
I've got no weapons, gonna get me some
I ain't moving 'till the bailiff comes
I've got no weapons, gonna get me some
let's
keep
the landlord in mind, as
the microphones pick up
the soft ones.
let's
keep
the carpets in mind, as
the microphones pick up
the soft ones,
the loud ones,
the slow ones,
the bright ones,
the meaningful ones,
the distance,
the good pets,
the wordless,
You've been living
Right beneath my feet
I've been waiting
For the chance that we could meet
You came upstairs
To fix the hole in my roof
Oooh baby, to tell you the truth
I wanna kiss you all over!
Oh yes I do, oh yes I do
And here it is baby
Here's the pro-oooh-oof!
Now that it's on
My love is so strong
No-one can move me
In the way that you have
Don't want your rent money baby
Under my door
I don't wanna be your landlord anymore
I just wanna be
Your lover baby
I want you with me
No other lady
I don't mind if you never have a dime
I've met alot of rich men
In my time
Had a whole bunch of girls
They would call their prize
But they don't do nothing for me baby,
Like you do with your ey-yyy-yes!
Now that it's on
My love is so strong
No-one can move me
In the way that you have
Don't want your rent money baby
Under my door
I don't wanna be your landlord anymore
I don't wanna be your landlord anymore
Never call you sweetheart
No more Mr. Brown
And we can go out dancing
All over town
Since so long ago
I would lie in my bed
Thinking about you
Five floors down
Tossing and turning
You were messing with my head!
Now that it's on
See I love you so strong
And no-one can move me
In the way that you have
Don't want your rent money baby
Don't put it under my door
I don't wanna be your landlord anymore
I don't wanna be your landlord anymore
I don't wanna be your landlord anymore
I don't wanna be your landlord anymore
CHORUS
Lord, you're the landlord and there's a leak in your building.
Lord, you're the landlord and there's a leak in your building.
Lord, you're the landlord and there's a leak in your building.
(I know that you'll) fix it, fix it like you said you would.
VERSE
I've been bought with a price and I'm not, not my own.
Since you came into my life, my troubles are now yours.
So I'll keep walking by faith, for I know you'll make a way.
You're my landlord, Jesus and I trust you everyday, yes I do.
I wanna say
CHORUS
VAMP
I can't fix it. (Repeat)
You're my landlord. (Repeat)
(I know that you'll)
silverfish are swimming in and out of my walls
my heat is out -- you don't return my calls
the snow is drifted up -- i can't get my mail
my faith in mankind is beginning to fail...
..kind of like my washer and my dryer
the latter of which sets my clothes on fire
evil, evil man -- i'm under your spell
but everybody knows you're the landlord from hell
i can't believe the things that you're doing to me
i can't believe the rotten things you've done to me
my windows don't close and my sinks don't drain
on a sunny day my roof can't keep out the rain
find a buyer and i'm ready to sell
but i'll be sure to tell the suckers you're a landlord from hell
[chorus]
the floor is buckled, the furnace belches smoke
when i turn on the faucet i'm sure to get soaked
the outlets aren't grounded, i always get a shock
upwards around fourteen hundred kilowatts
i pay my bills and nothing gets done
you're a sadomasochist who thinks it's fun
you're an evil man, you ain't norman fell
that's why landlord i'll see you in hell
Yonder come my landlord collecting his rent
With his greedy yellow eyes and his tongue all bent
With his padlocked pockets and his badluck nose
Comes sniffin' round my doorway and goin' through my clothes
Oh how could you treat me so cold
Got a mortgage on my body and a lien on my soul
I got a crackpot house with a two way roof
My neighbours are thieves but I got no proof
You like to take but you don't want to give
I've got to pay you rent just to have a place to live
Ah but hey you landlord I know you well
You run a rock'n roll' tavern and a fancy hotel
You misuse a lot of people that you got at your command
I'll put on a pair of gloves 'fore I shake your hand
You're gonna wake up in the helpless dawn
And look around and find that your land is all gone
You wanna be cold just as cold as you please