Dear Theodore | Original Spoken Word | Xoe Arabella
Me:
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The Words:
I am hoping you can forgive me
Because I am a realist.
Forever angry at my own feelings
simply because they exist
So when we are in the back of my friends sprinting car
And my roaming hands are feeling the uneven beat of your racing heart
And I might pull away, because
I caught that look on your face.
That look that your soul has planted tall trees that grow
Up to the sky
Branches as strong as the hope for a future between you and I
These trees I have grown to despise
Because they are just as bright of green as the rim around your eyes
But to say that I despise them is just an idiotic disguise then to hide the fact that
I
Am in love with them
And you
I love it all
I love the leaves that descend in the fall
After a summer well spent
So I can pick up leaves and turn them over to read stories of the memories we’ve left
Like the time we laid in the church parking lot
Our only company the black pavement under silent stars
Or the time we were in the back of my friends sprinting car
The outside world running fast
Your gaze following me slow
You looked at me
Eyes filled with emerald leaves
That grow on the ends of hopeful trees
A shadow falls through the back window
Allowing only a portion of my face to show
Thist makes the gold in my eyes glow
and this drives your racing heart mad but I pretend I do not know
But I know what you are thinking
I know that you are dreaming
The side smile that fights to stay mild makes it obvious
Watching me a face warm with bliss
you will utter the familiar words that you will remember this.
Building memories is a dangerous seed
Because once planted it never leaves
Roots grow further into once lifeless dirt
and if those roots continue to grow and if one day they are ripped up goddamn will it hurt
with every new experience I watch our precious roots extend
All I can hope is
I’ll never see their ends
Because
I need you like the roots need water
I need you like the trees need to sun to grow taller
I need you, and sometimes that's too much to bare
I need you and that leaves me fucking scared
because I cannot stop the persistent thought that one day our trees will be gone -
chopped
but the roots will remain
Left to soak up tears that dropped in a moment's pain
Oh the roots will remain
Leaving me with vibrant feelings that I will never feel the same.
I hope you’ll remember that I am a realist
forever angry at my own feelings
because I know i'm going to remember this
and Im scared one day it's going to break me
So if this all falls apart,
I am hoping you can forgive me.
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