A blog about parenting and marriage
And so I stepped out of the shower this evening, towelled myself dry and stepped tentatively up to the bedroom scales for the first time in months. I stood on the glass and watched the LCD display wheeling up, working out what the grand total was. And then the display steadied and settled on a final number.
Oh my. What a Christmas it’s been. Well, the parts that haven’t involved the in-laws, anyway. It seems everything in that quarter is lies, deceit, repressed anger and depression. But that’s someone else’s story. It just hasn’t made them that much fun to be around. Kinda glad I kicked my family to the kerb ages ago.
We started out with the best of feeble intentions. We’d tackle Christmas with moderation, and still be able to have fun. At the end of a four-week Festival Of Gluttony, it feels like we’ve consumed twice our body weight in stodgy dinners, crisps and chocolate. Not to mention the dreaded drink.
Alcohol is the killer in our house. There’s always a bottle of red wine sitting around, which is always tempting to break out after a long day of juggling parenting and blogging. The thing is, whenever I get to a certain point of drunkenness, Greedy Me makes an appearance. A starving, rampaging version of myself with a single, deadly purpose: eat everything in sight. This version of me has been known to wake up the next morning with empty crisp bags and plates of toast beside the bed.
So not only is the calorific red wine a liability, but the junk food binging doesn’t help either.
And now that a fresh new year has dawned, and the Mayans were wrong about the apocalypse, it’s time to sober up some. Especially since the world isn’t ending and now it does matter that we pigged out at Christmas. Damnit.
Basically for at least the next month, we’re entering a self-enforced dryathlon. Goodbye, cheap bottles of JP Chennet merlot from Tesco! So long, 24 packs of whatever the hell beer is on offer down the off license. And with it, we’re going to be cutting back drastically on our junk food intake. The local Chinese restaurant has been dreading this day, but it’s inevitable. We must cut all ties with our Fried Food Dealers.
Yes, we’re only 5 days into 2013, but the Dryathlon is going fine so far. Last night I discovered an unopened case of beer in the cupboard (how did that get there?) and it was relatively easy to walk away with a large glass of iced water instead.
And of course, I’m back to running. Hoping to resume my fitness levels and burn off the winter excess and gradually move toward marathon distances throughout the year.
Anyone else vowing to get rid of the Christmas gut in the new year? Try a Dryathlon!
Yikes. I noticed that it’s been a while since I’ve done the fitness update on this blog. And that it’s been an incredible 17 weeks since I started this. Wow.
The weight loss has continued on its downward trajectory, and I’ve continued to exercise and maintain a healthy diet. Let’s take a look at the weight loss journey as chronicled here on Family Of Five:
It’s been a couple of weeks since I posted an exercise update here, but the Biggest Loser Challenge continues!
With my last update, I was weighing in at 103.8kg. However, with some increased exercise, I’ve been steadily working the weight downwards. This morning, after a 3.2 mile jog, I showered and weighed in at 99.4kg.
Now, no doubt throughout the day that may rise to over 100kg again, but it’s a great sign that I’m nearing my target weight. In fact, it’s virtually the midway point. Remember, my starting weight roughly 6 weks ago was 109.8kg, and my target weight is 90kg. So I’m literally in the middle.
It’s been exactly 20 days since I started my Biggest Loser challenge. Almost three weeks. And there’s quite a bit of change to report.
First up, I have to a reasonable extent, been looking after what I eat. Smaller portion sizes, more fruit and veg and smaller meals spread out across the day to make sure I don’t get ravenous and go on a fridge raid!
However, there have been a few setbacks – most notably two takeaways in one weekend. We had houseguests and ordered in. And washed the junk food down with quite a lot of beer. Other than that though, my alcohol consumption is virtually nil right now, and I’m trying to keep junk food out of my diet.
A couple of days ago, I started playing the Biggest Loser Wii Game. Not that I’m remotely as wobbly as the contestants on that show, but for the last few years I’ve been struggling to regain control of my pot belly.
I’ve touched on this theme before, but getting started is the biggest problem. Just trying to be more active throughout the day, eating smaller portions and healthier foods. Swapping snack foods for fruit.
If you’re a new parent, I – as an old hand in the business – am going to teach you an important concept today. That concept is Daddy Tax.
Kids get so much cool stuff, and grandparents especially seem to love pouring sugary confectionery down your children’s throats. I’ve noticed that while they’re happy to shower gifts of candy upon the youngsters, we adults are not so lucky.
Enter ‘Daddy Tax’ – a levy applied to all sweet foods your offspring come in contact with. Packet of crisps? I recommend 1-2 crisps from each child. Sweets? Depends on the size, but 2-3 is acceptable daddy tax. The beauty of this scheme is that the more kids you have, the more goodies you get. You are now officially the government of your house!
Just remember, cakes and buns are non-taxable because they’re not easily divisible. You could take a bite, but you might as well get your own.
And before any of you complain that daddy tax is cruel, just remember that by absorbing a proportion of sweets and crisps, we are helping keep our children healthier. That’s right. It’s a noble form of self-sacrifice.
If you’re a new parent, you want to implement this scheme right away. Children respond better to the notion of daddy tax if it’s implemented early. Leave it too late and you’ll experience hostility and reluctance to hand over the goods.
Lisa has a history of making wild purchases that she forgets about almost immediately. She’ll deny it, but there’s a legacy of clothes in her wardrobe that were bought years ago, but still sport the label from the shop. And there’s a wide range of obscure tat that inhabits our house that testify to the fact that she’s an impulse shopper par excellence.
The story of the juicer comes to mind. For months, all I heard about was how fantastic a juicer would be for us. We could make our own fruit juices and live long, healthy fulfilled happy lives with the taste of tropical drinks never far from our lips.
The juicer was used a maximum of 3 times and was offloaded to another impulse shopper via eBay after it was discovered at the back of a kitchen cupboard.
So, history has been repeating itself lately. “You know what we really need?” she asked. But it wasn’t really a question. “A bread maker.” It was one of those moments where a spousal decision had already been made without me.
However, Lisa knows that any failure in the breadmaker project will result in universal ridicule. She’s baking every other day at the moment, and trying out some unusual bread recipes. And so far, she’s managed to justify the purchase.
I remain convinced that this is one of Lisa’s faddy purchases and it’ll go the way of the juicer before long. Why? Because she’s admitted that the cost of baking your own bread is roughly the same as buying it and there’s a much higher investment in time, which we’re already short on. The only ‘benefit’ is that home-made bread is apparently healthier because it has less additives and stuff.
It’ll be interesting to look back on this post in a few years time and see how Project Loaf turned out….
[tags]Lisa, Hare Brained Schemes, Baking, Cookery[/tags]
I love fish and chips, and although I have no problem clogging up my own arteries, I do have a problem with doing it to my children.
Tonight, while pondering my dinner menu, I took a real notion for fish and chips with loads of salt and vinegar. Instead of running out for a takeaway I put some oven chips on a baking trap, and got out some frozen cod fillets I had got from the local supermarket.
The cod had no coating, batter or breadcrumbs, and cooked in just 20 minutes in the oven. I cooked them in a knob of butter to prevent them from becoming dry.
When I presented dinner to the kids I waited for the outcry and protests, but they didn’t come. I was amazed when Rachel ate some of the fish, given that she rarely lets fish or meat of any kind pass her lips.
We all cleared our plates, even Daniel at only 9 1/2 months ate the fish with his fingers and devoured the baked beans.
I admit that greasy chips and battered cod would have tasted better, but this way I am almost guilt free, and saved at least ?10 that I would have spent on a takeaway. You can’t beat that!
MSN Lifestyle has a great article titled ‘What Toddlers Eat Around The World’. It makes my kids lunch of sandwiches or soup seem positively boring. And when it comes to whose diet is the healthiest I have to hold my hands up and say that my daily menu probably leaves a lot to be desired!
For instance a typical toddler lunch in Japan is egg-flavored rice with broiled fish or seafood, a side dish of lightly cooked seasonal vegetables, and soup with tofu (commonly known as miso).
In India toddlers are more likely to eat khichdi, a mushy rice-and-lentil-based dish that includes just about every food group a growing child needs. Vegetables such as carrots and green beans or squash and okra and a protein (goat, lamb, or chicken) are cooked in butter and turmeric powder.
In Brazil toddlers will be snacking on rice and beans with some protein (ground beef, chicken, fish, or pork), and a vegetable (potato, broccoli, spinach, peas, or carrots).
My next mission is to try and be a bit more adventurous with the childrens food. I don’t want them to end up as fussy an eater as I am.
