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• Now - Avail
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to all the years full of front porch stories
failed plans and procrastination
to r.a.g.n. sowing what others may implore
i've been broke and forlorn and caught out with the best at acca yard
oh it just goes to show, to desert friends like these streets
i would be crazy
to all the years full of backyard parties
winters in hibernation
to assaulting views with dominion at our door
healing but scarred
there's bullet holes in a porch in jackson ward
oh it just goes to show, to desert friends like these streets
i would be crazy
it goes to show, to dessert friends like these streets
i would be crazy
i sat back to consider what has been within a decade counted
should i fly? should i settle?
will i find peace in time, in the face of growing old?
to all the years full of untold stories
futures free of isolation
to all those gone who in thought and heart live on
on and on you never gave up and i got this far
oh it just goes to show, with friends like these to leave
i would be crazy
it goes to show, with friends like these to leave

you got me swingin' on a rain drop walking around in the rain (doo-doo_ ....? i'm doing flip-flops look what words can do (be-doobidy-doo-doo) there was when i thought love was not for me i wanted to be just a roaming lover i'm being careless a way to be free (ba-da-da, ba-da-da-da) you've got me hook, line and sinker just like a fish on a hook you'd better pull the line in baby, i can't win look what words can do (be-doobidy-do)

it's not an accusation, i freeze when i see you and i can still feel
you breath
you say i spread lies for attention as you play victim
their minds set on who to believe
i can't sit here pitied and self absorbed
but i can't scrub this scent clean
i've tried before adn i'm sure i can't explain in words
or thoughts the way i've kicked and fought
and fought myself to be sane to come clean and
begin at last again
sure i could give up and those i praise
woudln't give a fuck
so much for friends, so much for feelings now
why don't you spit in my face
for bringing shame to your name
you and i know for sure
behind closed doors
it was you against me
i won't sit here blamed and ignored
as i rinse the stains clean without support
and i'm sure i can't explain in words or thought
the lessons i was taught
as i fought while you used force for gain
and i was skin deep in shame
now i won't let up
i'll tread the heals of your every step
so much for friends, so much for feelings now
why don't you spit in my face
for bringing shame to your name
you and i know for sure
behind closed doors

you built a garden to watch it rot you could get blood from stone if you want but for you to be infectious maybe not the needle got me and i'll bleed on you either way it doesn't matter which way you face somehow i'm always gonna be in your way cut from me spend on defense that's genocide i'll find myself a hammer now and construct a box the size of myself and when the time is right they will bring me down and lay me there on the ground "a disease maintained by...criminal neglect so enormous that it amounts in genocide."

i don't know why you try to bring me down sometimes you think you know why automatic forfeit regrets there's not much to see as your words fall drastically into my life as you repeat lies done before so i'll rearrange and prepare to brush off the pain like i wasn't here at all

well it's come undone looks like i'll have to fake it seems like i do it anyway admit to no control i thought with time i'd get better i am temporary although i said i wouldn't waste the time i went and did it anyway whether or not i said i'd saw it coming i set myself up again even split of words and actions that's not mine to depend stash the evidence so it will be forgotten i can't forget it anyway try to defuse but i've been trying that forever i am temporary i thought with time i'd get better

the birmingham sun it burned me through i thought of you and with every step i've made mistakes you've seen me though you've seen me true all these towns are lonesome all their streets the same every rain's a downpour i'm nearly washed away as i wait this mornings news it seemed untrue but it's safe with you and with every step i've made mistakes you've seen me through you've seen me true all these towns are lonesome all these streets are same every rain's a downpour when i've nearly washed away you've kept me sane

Is it true you don't want to Feel a thing?
Then stay in the underground Remain elusive I'm higher now than when I broke down It's wrong I don't think about you Is it wrong I don't think about you?
Took a walk to the bridge again last night Gave no thoughts to mistakes I've made I felt cleansed for once in my life The sky was perfect clear I walked home again last night And got a feeling that I rarely question Rolled right over the thought of a breakdown And smiled without a care
If I never see you again I'm counting my blessings I'm higher now than when I broke down It's wrong I don't think about you Is it wrong I don't think about you?

silence, silence all sides
raw with indecision
without the mind to congregate
in fault the line extends
to further burden divided friends
silence all sides
why bother to defy when we still can't unite
so put your fist down until sanity can be contained
we burn out before we fade away
losing time and not changing anything
burn out we isolate,
rather stand alone than divided
stuck on lines deplete
chant slogans timed one step off beat
full loss of common sense
when passion becomes status end
silence, silence all sides
why bother to defy when we still can't unite
so put your fist down until sanity can be contained
what's been said has spread like fire to all
it takes no strength to pass blame
we burn out before we fade away
losing time and not changing anything
burn out we isolate,

sidetracked conveniently five steps from the mainline
fresh off a grain porch drinking swill
down from picking up in maine
counting change
"oh how i, i would do anything for that old junktrain to turn manifest
and highball, yeah i'd sing that railroad song by the time the sun is setting
in the west"
no time or purpose as embers smolder
holed up in pines of green
pablo writes "dos" where mouths don't share what their eyes have seen
"see those days are gone and i can't stand one more
i've fought this war counting miles alone
i've seen it all, every goddamn state
out here son it's as rough as i have known"
all i have known with sky above as home
and ground beneath as bed is to ride fast
live slow and without regret
"i've got no time for regret
those thoughts solve nothing in the end
i've got blistered hands
and lived full through rejection
long endured
'cause i came up poor
"hell no i, i wouldn't change a thing, those old junktrains all turn manifest
and highball, yeah i'll sing that railroad song by the time

quickly formed and raised for keeping more contained you shut it, you lock it but you haven't solved it three strikes, petty crime out of sight, out of mind repossess, relocate there's more than one way so don't talk to me about all you're gonna do and who you represent and how you'll see it thru i'm not buying what you're selling you're selling you and it just doesn't seem right you've done nothing but caused harm and you want praise and i'm not gonna take it away

and so we go pedal through the flowers i am scared and shaking where did we go now? the ways i've tried but the looking forward only set me back i want to know now where did we go? before i could fly i didn't know the feeling of getting higher and higher but the more you do it the easier it gets then it hurts more when you fall down chime the bell is ringing why's it so loud? can't you fell the tension time the clock is ticking why's it so loud? no means of prevention in my back yard i pulled every weed to get to the flower that was underneath now the flower's not growing it seems it's dying from no air got choked at the root i wave my flag and surrender in my front yard there are no cracks in the street so i picked up all the trash just to make the place neat but the more i do it seems the worse it gets and i can't stop the tv going on in my head chime the bell is ringing can't you feel the tension time the clock is ticking no way of prevention

walking by myself i took a look around i think i misunderstood the magic of this town it's time to recognize that i should let it go it doesn't look it doesn't feel like it i keep waiting for something don't know how long i'll last sometimes i think it could be my turn to detach can't find the strength to decide where is should go i don't think like i did i don't feel like i should i saw familiar faces far from those i knew so well couldn't think of much to say didn't know how i felt so i put them behind me and i let them go they didn't look like hey did they didn't feel like they should

been looking from outside i've been watching but i don't know what to say changed the old backdrop same face but not who it used to be trying to get out not out getting thinking, you're everything you said you wouldn't be time out, i see right through you're running around again i'm around and still confused in an instant can't quite relate and i don't know what to say all of the bonds i see that i'm not part of it's not how it used to be you're running around again i'm around and i've been cracking on the inside it gets worse each day and i don't know what to say keeping my distance but still i see it's not how it used to be pushing the time in a daze wondering how it got this way time out, i've gotta ask it am i on my own? truth numbed my feelings truth

what you are i'm not your apprentice don't lead the way i could care less of your identity my first impression did not impress your insecurities came across as confidence it seems so convenient to let others think for you when your tired and your down can you find somewhere to be that you call your own? try and learn about yourself then we can have revolution my first impression did not impress your insecurities come across as confidence could it be a front concealment for acceptance so far you've shown me little to believe so far have you seen what you expected to see

i keep saying don't beat yourself down you never had much and never asked for lesss than truth, not promises the truth is i still live in hell treading pools that are shallow when i touch the bottom. the bottle still i reach up although my hands hurt and aim high in a world so confined i'd rather die with my face all torn up wrists in handcuffs with pride than beleive lies i keep saying this time you won't be let down, you've learned to touch, to bond, to share, to act and move, to rebel. the fact is i jus tkeep on talking blindly and you can't relate, i know the game you act like you care when you don't

sweating in the kitchen getting vibes from the television stating that we are not set free another night of misery it brought me closer to home and it cuts me to the bone to see the stares of the beaten men i know that it will happen again late at night i see these things holding what the future brings and struggle we might to learn what's wrong and right but i've seen the bloodshed of a hundred fights inside wrong turn on a long dark road a pain that will never show that night we lost a friend a wound that will never mend we touch despite the grudge a memory that will never budge a feeling that i won't forget a vision from when we met some people hold inside what others keep alive i am strong enough to succeed if i stop and spend time holding on to special thoughts that i feel i need to keep

what difference does it really make when your head's at the foot of the bed? close the lid tight and remain out of sight easy escape numb the senses everyone around is such an expert on who knows who and what they do i could give a fuck about small talk discussions in fact i'd rather be alone and do without companionship for now block out and walk out unseen keep far away than come clean i thought i heard someone say that if the bottle falls but doesn't break feel blessed it all stayed inside unopen beats spilling bored to death with hearing second hand who's grown roots who's on the move can't seem to avoid small talk discussions is it safe to be unknown? who's in, what's out, can't keep up keep up, look good, be seen label a tread of no meaning

i'll starve no more i've been conjuring fate repent sin come to my mind no more with half the truth i go my way and pray there is no war bloody knuckles scraping pavement leave stains once i say, life is complete i've got to light the way confess sin come to my mind no more this lack of faith taht guides teh way prove there is no more sun you'll be here and i'll be gone without a trace a paper trail, finally complete i get up daily, i get a day to me and i wonder why i can't beleive tried following scents that are watered down the truth is lies believed there's not few left this is the last

Ho Bo's at the front door Spitting hate in her face Saying, "I don't give a fuck" Father's stumbling up the stairs Saying, "Fuck you if I"m late" He don't give a fuck
Someone's broken down the stairs Can't get outside, but I don't care The ones who count are all here Can't say I'd be right anywhere
Toast is spreading jam again To Urk the famous phrase "What are you talking about?" The Maxima has got what you need His wholey noopy it don't bleed He don't give a fuck Chuck-a-chuck-a-foe-fuck No no no no no no Chuck He don't give a fuck
Look at the scum on the rock Doing the scumina walk Hey

sally simple works for the symbol she punch the clock without a thought she's got the routine same thing every day she wants more but needs security her days come and go she needs to be so bad but life keeps her locked seems like the strain just can't be undone mislead micheal mumbles trouble he's lost inside he's down for the count he's growing old his lines tell the story of tragedy and life's misery he tried so hard to be but william can't let go look to your heart and break some day direction will cross your path there's no use to throw a lifetime's effort so far you might need eyes to help you see a plan of self action these characters real or fake some don't know most don't care you and i time will tell who will dangle longer away

i felt it all the holes are burning still i hold my throat and i'm watching all the laughing pass me by if i could just turn the clock back all this time's left me feeling jaded i nearly lost my mind let me stay here one more moment buried broken glass from window panes fell down on my back yard and i cut my feet got dirt ground in the wound if there's such a thing as a payback how high's the price on my head

i need a place to lay my head that's safely out of sight from where i am somewhere uncontrolled where's no one's led a simple change of mood that i haven't found yet i want to be up front and honest but i can't at all don't want to set myself up for a fall i'll say it until i'm blue in the face it's so pitifully tame now good day now drop the name of an unknown place and i'm leaving reason give me one reason a short invitation or none at all

been at this too long
that's wise said drunk
picked at the peddles again, bled red
all sense is gone
should have left the back door open
lordy, lordy
could have been robbed once again
i keep screaming but hear only vibrations
been at this too long
twice said, one
i should set sail

tell me why you think of the days before when life was a routine which reality broke these people are the same you have changed don't face forward and turn around just watch where you point that gun or you may lay flat on the ground right back where you started strive for a better you now tell me why you learn from your mistakes can you awaken on the right side and choose a strong foundation where you'll learn it all again

when's better than now
when's better than now
to come with nothing and deny you
when's better than now
when's better than now
to not believe a thing you say
i've restrained but it can't go down this way
eye's that lie - hide
burning time, burning time & blaming memory
to return back to a comfort
in an attempt to feel complete
than tokenize
with lying eye's as if to care
and it's a shock that you leave calmly
as fas as you appear
when's better than now
when's better than now
to come with nothing and deny you
when's better than now
when's better than now
to take blame unscathed and remain
estranged i can walk straight estranged
with blinders bound
time
burning time, burning time & blaming memory
oh i won't let myself be troubled
or deny i'm part guilty
the road will rise
blackened skies in time will clear
though it's a shock now to the body

believe what you want without checking it (it's not right) we don't agree at all (got a lot to learn) i'll run so far won't hear a word and won't regret it i'm not concerned i'm holding onto something that i lost and could never find i'm moving on now so i can see what i am leaving behind and if rejection is what you fear i'm being heard all wrong isolate to think straight to find meaning not withdrawn two snakes of poison which one do you call friend? two snakes of poison got bit by both in the end when judged by past not present it's all just talking when judged by past it's forgotten that everyone changes

i don't think your heard a word i said that's fine it wasn't exactly what i meant we made a lot of mistakes this time imaging distance working are you willing to take it? i have given all that i can give you have too and still we pretend that that isn't all just a waste of time it's sublime and we are kindred are you willing ot take it? i'll scream so loud i won't make a sound can you admit defeat? we'll burn the last of this to the ground let's drop the seed and let it be carefully trust all that's newly found sometimes we're hard to believe we'll burn the last of this to the ground let's drop the seed and let it be it may sound simple when the last word is said and no hurt is shown on the responding end end means time to end all (end is defeat) end means time to end all defeat and if silence is all that you hear it's not intended you're so far from near that voice only carries but so many miles praise denial and persistence working are you willing to take it?

should of left that attitude back at home center of attention through tension begging for respect through the unsaid resorting to disruption when you hate something should of left that attitude back at home striving to dominate to feel safe showing your strength to the unknown you probably won't quit when you hurt someone what the hell are you fighting for? i hope its something you believe in 'cause someone got a fist in their face because you're feeling weak and your causing all these problems that nobody needs don't forget that you're all alone you've got no good reason it's just and attitude

to steal without lifting a finger it's quietly kept the real terrorist by way of the west one by one, one hundred thousand starved, their eyes glazed stare westward see something want it-put a figure on it abandoned for triple the profit longer for less imperialist by way of the west, one by one, one thousand jobs lost greed so profound crimes of gold deep want for everything exactly what does wealth bring a class filled with resent one wrench can break the machine stripped clean and torn down tired of kneeling the tide is rising now fed these lies so long the mind craves to believe them one by one, one blantan muth king controls pawn deep want for everything exactly what does wealth bring? a class filled with resent one wrench can break the machine output could slow down tired of kneeling the tide is rising now remember who works the land gloves on hands it seems they have been forgotten from jaurez and through the panhandle it takes one wrench to leave you crippled

drop out of my league for the meantime i am older now but i feel the same i missed my prime and from now on i'm looked down upon i've tried everything and i wonder why i feel the same everlasting attempt to regress you can't expect to but it's expected of you to look the part or you won't get it and we wonder why we all live in the past pressure still i have tried

no more explanations accept that your lifestyle
is like climbing upstairs to reach a basement
while you were searching for mirrors
to find a place to stare
your ideology lost it's step
it's not based on reality
you stepped on the wrong train
and you became who
you would ordinarily shame
face it
when you want to run i'd rather crawl
god forbid you change on my account
like i said before
i won't lend my words to prosperity
i know we all change
but your rhetoric is extraordinarily tame
if time can change you
to feel profound
about counting value
better you
yes better you than me
face it
no more explanations accept that your lifestyle
is like climbing upstairs to reach a basement
while you ewre searching for mirrors
to find a place to stare
your ideology lost it's step
it's not based on reality
i know we all change
but your rhetoric is extraordinarily tame
if time can change you
to feel profound
about counting value
better you
yes better you than me
fact it

riot at monroe nowhere to roam forced into place down home bench life high class eyesore fall migration those who impress a community is community-less riot at monroe future curfew to main esteem one more arrest to show authority dignity lost misplaced by now screams to uphold those held down riot at monroe

i'd do anything to look that way when i stop and think again i want to change my face and change my skin no more invisible to them, you can't compare i'd do anything big is a scar you'd better get thin the tanner you are the more you fit in bullshit you got a disease you follow the trends like the rest of the sheep

these are my eyes i said this is how they see you mislead, force fed can't make sense of what you do but how could you not have meant it what's real? what's untrue? mislead, force fed you criticize so you get a reaction it's a reflection you judge yourself you talk down you do it for attention self motivation not misunderstood you conceal what's not real and hope they miss what's really wrong you never listen i'm feeling strong reminding me of myself i'm not willing to take it i'm not gonna forget it

i tried to breath but i wouldn't
i think it's gonna catch up one day
one chance to reshape wrong
backtrack out of the shell
one more chance to understand
to be a different way
and i hope that it won't take long
it's time to rotate
in the right direction
and reshape imperfection
you smother me
all i see around is changing
making it tough to stay i've twisted thoughts to words
the ground i knew
looks different from inside
but the path out is far too wide
to decide today
but somewhere i'll find my place
-try moving-
i tried to leave but i couldn't
i think i'll try again someday
and baybe i'll make it work
i'll plan my route but not think it out
drop out of sight and ease on out
i'm gonna find my way

a twist this time you buckle my mind like a speechless boy it won't go away got glass rain it cuts my feet i pull apart yet refrain from the heart i've got water in my veins it won't go away turns ice on which i slide in my soul i have religion i try to preach it and it's stripped away it's beyond contradiction just my fight with my grace a dove in hand do i crush it my friend? why do i feel no guilt it won't go away this final fear i cannot see this love of hell in which i dwell it makes no sense it won't go away this way i feel break it down knock it down pull the wall down let go let go of the hatred in your soul

i tried to breathe but i wouldn't i think it's gonna catch up one day one more chance to understand to be a different way and i hope that it won't take long it's time to rotate in the right direction and reshape imperfection you smother me all i see around is changing making it tough to say i've twisted thoughts to words the ground i knew looks different from inside but the path out is far too wide to decide today but somewhere i'll find my place -try moving- i tried to leave but i couldn't i think i'll try it again some day and maybe i'll make it work i'll plan my route but not think it out drop out of sight and ease on out i'm gonna find my way and someday i'll make it work

still trying to understand why after all this time i never got a reason abrupt ending with a blank stare and a "i' don't care" cry for help got a definite answer a turned back like i expected from someone else if i plan to remain this way for eternity then i must admit that i've got it made still trying to understand if i'd explained my thoughts on commitment would i still pass yours thoughts infrequently? although disowned erased and alone with a word you'd hear my voice pretending that i'm finally content with what i've got the sane with time rule worked out just fine i forgot to thank you for always boosting my self esteem sometimes lies are easy to believe don't hang on too tightly i may be short of breath but i'm not easy to deceive

to defend or stay out it's not a question of who is right debate left no impact and still never solved the question of who to fight but what has talking done when actions go unplanned discussions changing nothing marching with feet tied centered on self falling behind when focusing on pride pride lies it screams so loud but it never says a thing but one's controlling the crowd sit and stare listen but please don't care

why can't we put our white pride aside? why can't we overcome our hatred? why can't we realize what we're wasting? we've got to push it we've got to be together why can't we ignore what they're teaching? why can't we try not to teach the same? why can't we accept what needs to be done? why can't we stop running away? we've got to push it together

sometimes when i wake up i start to think this can't be true and i'm not together so i block out all the days that don't matter and i raise my head forget about what i did and try not to think too hard sometimes i get so happy i hear things in my head that were never said i just sit alone for a while and start talking to myself, i think it's getting a little out of hand try not to think too hard i hang on to the words thinking i blew it with nothing left to lose sometimes when i think about it it just doesn't seem fair still i stay prepared and i work my way around it i look deep into myself and think this is getting a little out of hand try not to think too hard i hang on to the words thinking i blew it with nothing left to lose i play my part it's not so hard i just stay out of view

my mother said things are fine and turned the other way my troubles she said go way back far before your day but things are all right she said it's alright you could see it on her face her days of praise had gone astray and moved on to another place my father threw up his arms in a cold aggressive rage i've been fighting my conscience years now every single day we live alone now but no one is to blame his days away go unexplained things will never be the same what's there to pray about? letting go is not so simple what's there to pray about? i should have picked another hero

there were times like before when she was overcome by happiness and as one her life her age was prime and vulnerable satiate so you've got the opportunity to take my best away from me she's different now can't you see her life structure's been deranged by your greed and for your desires let me get my thoughts straight what gave you the right to take her away from me said you were raised and claimed to be neglected that's no excuse do you know the pain i feel with your presence just go away i think you've done your damage her plans for the future were dismissed by you so i will try i think i'll try it again to get my life straight and i pray that everything she's seen won't blind her and everything she's felt will show in years to come and as for you...

not impressed with who knows who and it never really matters if you win or lose passively reject let the rats race on stand sound until they are gone have you rejected what you learned? is your resistance all that they heard? burn that phrase and then burn it again ignore the emphasis on competition you protect you there's no one keeping score fight the past it's you that you ignored turn away what's become of us? has your persistence been ignored?

There's kepone in the river But the river's still Flowing east Ethyl doze the planet In an attempt to keep The downtown clean
Still it's a beautiful day And the sun is still shining Over the James
Oregon Hill is at end time VCU crept up and lit the torch West ave. honkeys dont' forget That trains still run north

could be afraid of what they'd say could be afraid of the things they say this morning i had the bad taste i couldn't think straight i crawled back inside i've taken this as a warning i'm gona rid myself of everything outside of my ways could be afraid of what they'd say so from now on i know nothing push it back let it fade simple words have always meant nothing i can taste the waste of energy i always thought ot was safe to be aquainted casually they're dropping non-stop casually i make my way directed to another place to stay until i'm settled but i'm not afraid could be afraid of what they'd say out of strength watch me go afraid it's over on i move a simple step on my way to avoid responsibility

damn it's you again how am i supposedly supposed to interpret thhis wihtout feeling guilty a homes not comdemned until it's fallen or stolen by locks and keys it's 3 am i'm locked out left to freeze on steps just feet from light and heat we walk the same block fave offs both good and bad a time bomb strapped on your back you can't see straight it's 3 am and without damn it's you again i saw you and you saw me conscience i neglected to mention i'm hell bend on dissention i've fought for you

who am i to make you consider yourself but how can i watch you walk through hell? as i held your head up straight i clenched my fists but not in rage i've fought so many off i'm still surrounded thers so much i meant to say that depth forced to contain it's not right i lied i never changed i'm the same person as i drink my problems straight i've touched your hand to test for strength behind one step ahead i'm nearly drowning if i dropped to my knees and said i'd hold you every day i'd fail myself do you understand? goddamn we've got the same last name right? you're right in front of me did you beleive you'd fall that deep from fear? you say you're down well try and make it through another night stay in front of me it's hard to believe but i've walked that path before i'm saying, forget about last nite

been trying all night to make you listen say you know me now i don't know myself a fight an hour the lust of power i won't play the part of deeply scarred cause i don't think i will be back again your words don't bring content you've said them so blindly as i have bled and despise all that you've said i've got a new thing i'm over listening i call it quits have you ever been kicked when you're already down? you see it come but you dare not make a sound remain standing and put a foot to the face that did the pushing and then pass if silence is gained it's overwhelming you have taken a peice of me