Deceiver.com

Oct

Apologies for the Disappearing Act and an Announcement

By Holly Won't
Categories: Announcements 82 Comments

Hey there, hypocrisy hunters.

First of all, sorry you had to look at Boobsy McBoobs for a whole week with no explanation. (Though all things considered, it could have been worse — the last post could have been on Michael Moore.)

We’ve read every one of your comments and no, there has not been a dearth of hypocrisy in the world. Just a dearth of time to report on it.

The website will undergo some changes in the next few weeks, so we urge you guys to stick around and check back for the all-new, all-improved Deceiver.com that will debut shortly.

In the meantime, here’s a photo of Snooki attempting sexy. Does she succeed? Discuss.

xoxo,
Your humble bloggers

Oct

Flying Without a Net (?)

By Pastafarian
Categories: Activists, Movie Stars and Non-U.S. Politicos 24 Comments

Multiple Oscar winner Hilary Swank, and — uh — zero Oscar winner Jean Claude Van Damme are catching some heat from NGO Human Rights Watch, but mostly Hilary because of the whole relevancy thing. The reason? They attended a fancy party thrown by the president that tortures people, and abuses basic human rights. No, not George Bush. Not even Dick Cheney. Nope! Chechen president Ramzan Kadyrov.

“Ramzan Kadyrov is linked to a litany of horrific human-rights abuses. It’s inappropriate for stars to get paid to party with him. It bolsters his image and legitimizes a brutal leader and his regime. And getting paid to be part of such a lavish show in Chechnya trivializes the suffering of countless victims of human-rights abuses there,” Human Rights Watch said in a statement issued to The Hollywood Reporter.

Shakira, Eva Mendez, and Kevin Costner were all invited but couldn’t make it. But at least Hilary tried to make up for their absence by offering some good wishes!

“Really, truly, for me this was a great honor to learn more about you and your country and what you’re building,” Swank said when she took the stage. “And happy birthday, Mr. President.”

Oh c’mon now how bad could he be? OH MY GOD!

No one is really sure if Hilary and Jean Claude had been paid to attend, but the nonprofit group said she was warned about Karyrov’s offenses and went anyway. And some are calling for them to return the money if they were paid.

But just imagine the goodie bags an accused torturer would hand out. Kinkier swag than the Golden Globes, I bet.

Sep

Holly Madison Insures Her Cleavage for a Cool Million

By Holly Won't
Categories: Television Stars and The Naughty Bits 64 Comments

Former Playboy model, Girl Next Door, and current Vegas showgirl Holly Madison has taken out a huge insurance policy that matches the size of her considerable bosom:

The reality star recently took out a $1 million insurance policy on her breasts with Lloyd’s of London insurance company, she confirmed to PEOPLE exclusively.

Madison, 31, said she did it to protect herself and others who appear in her Las Vegas production, Peepshow.

“I’ve heard about people getting body parts insured and I thought, why not?, because if anything happened to my boobs, I’d be out for a few months and I’d probably be out a million dollars,” she said. “I thought I’d cover my assets.”

Literally.

Madison appears topless during segments of the Vegas show, which, in her mind, made the insurance policy necessary. She also comprehends the quirkiness of it all.

“I think it’s kind of funny. I think they’re getting the credit they deserve,” she said. “They’re my primary money makers right now.”

Not sure what, exactly, could “happen” to her boobs, but I’m not an insurance agent. I am, however, a hypocrisy-scouting blogger, and this is the same Holly Madison who just a year ago cautioned young women against getting plastic surgery because they’d probably come to regret it:

“When young girls [want] plastic surgery, they need to go to a party in Beverly Hills, look at all the old people … and be like, ‘Oh, maybe I don’t want to.’”

Gives a whole new meaning to the term “boob job,” doesn’t it?

Sep

Do You Know Who Used to Be Married to Kurt Cobain?

By Pastafarian
Categories: Bad Boys & Girls, Musicians and Writers 8 Comments

It seems like just a year and a half ago that Courtney Love was sick and tired of answering questions about her late husband Kurt Cobain. SO STOP ASKING!

Love has been candid about her relationship with Cobain in the past – but she’s tired of answering reporters’ questions about what her late husband would be like if he was still alive today.

She tells Britain’s NME magazine, “I am not his spokesperson on Earth. I don’t know what he’d be like now, he could be into society girls, he could be into fat girls, he could be homosexual. We don’t know, he died at 27.”

Personally, I think if he were alive today he’d be saying, “Help! Help! Let me out of this box!”

But all that’s different now because evidently people still care about Courtney Love and still really want to know all about her in a tell-all book…

Described by publishers Harper Collins as the “definitive memoir”, the book will cover her history of drug abuse and relationship with her daughter. “It’s time for the public to hear her tell her story, as she lived it,” said publisher Lynn Grady. The memoirs will be co-authored by rock biographer Anthony Bozza.

In the book she’ll finally get her chance to not talk about Kurt Cobain, plus various other fascinating stories involving her childhood, Edward Norton, and that guy from that band. You know the one from the 90′s? He’s bald now. Yeah that guy! I’m sure it’ll all be a fantastic read but I think I’ll pass.

You might say I wouldn’t read this even if you put a gun to my head.

Sep

High-Road Taking LeAnn Rimes Thinks Only of the Children

By Sarah Jessica Snarker
Categories: Fashionistas and Musicians 7 Comments

The innocent, thoughtful flower that is LeAnn Rimes stopped by The Ellen DeGeneres Show today to chat about a few, ahem, weighty topics, including how she feels bullied by all the people who comment on her increasingly twig-like figure, and how she and Eddie are champions of taking the high road and putting the kids first:

While admitting again that she and Eddie Cibran made mistakes when they got together in 2009, LeAnn Rimes says there were tons of lies written about them, too – but that the couple kept quiet for the sake of his children.

“You have to really take the high road a lot of the time when you want to stand on a mountain and scream like, Why are you saying this?” the country singer, 29, says Thursday in an interview on The Ellen DeGeneres Show.

“We’ve always put his kids first,” she adds, referring to Cibran’s two children from his marriage to Brandi Glanville. “We took the kids into consideration with everything that we do. Sometimes you just want to scream. But you don’t. We’ve learned to let it go and laugh at it, at the end of the day.” [ . . . .]

Rimes also addresses another familiar topic – her weight. The singer haslooked very thin in photos this year, but says she doesn’t have an eating disorder.

The media has been “very irresponsible calling a lot of people fat or anorexic or bulimic or whatever it may be,” she says. “It seems like bullying now instead of really taking these diseases seriously that a lot of people are going through.”

So, where to start? Let’s just take it from the top:

On the high road, taking it: exhibits A, B, C.
On the kids, taking them into consideration: see homewrecker, definition of.
On her weight, being bullied about it: see attention-seeking behavior, definition of, exhibit A.

Yup, I think that about sums it up. Or, just about . . .

I can’t let this post go without asking about that ridiculous Twitpic of LeAnn posing on the urinal. WTF is that all about? Honestly, LeAnn, we would all be perfectly happy to stop bullying you if you would just stop tormenting us with all these preposterous cell phone self-portraits and inane interviews.

Really. Truly. We’re begging you.

Sep

Fox News: Nipple Slips and Contagious Gender Confusion

By Sarah Jessica Snarker
Categories: Newscasters, Television Stars and The Naughty Bits 5 Comments

Well, Holly got her Nancy Grace nipple dibs, but I couldn’t let another shimmering facet of this season’s second Dancing with the Stars fiasco go without doing my own piggy-back post.

H/T to Mr. Jon Stewart for being the first to call bullshiz on this one:

Well, I think we all saw that one coming. But let’s give credit where credit is due here: at least ABC had the balls (so to speak) to let Chaz and Nancy on the dance floor in the first place. After all, we’re talking about the network that previously banned full-figured cleavage and gay kissing. (Hey, maybe they should think about acquiring Southwest Airlines.)

At least one network appears to be keeping up with America’s changing attitudes towards homosexuality. I would say Fox better adapt or die, but considering the network’s position at the top of the cable news ratings board, it’s clear this is not something they’re worried about. I would speculate as to why that might be, but I think I’ve said enough for today. I don’t want to risk finding any powdery white substances in my mailbox come Monday.

Sep

Nancy Grace: I’m Being Judged Unfairly Over Nipplegate

By Holly Won't
Categories: Legal Messes, Television Stars and The Naughty Bits 11 Comments

I called dibs so hard on this story about the television crime vigilante’s wardrobe malfunction on live TV:

Nancy Grace is adamant … her nip did NOT slip on “Dancing with the Stars” [Monday] night … and insists the object that poked out of her dress last night was merely a PASTY!

Grace tells TMZ … “When I got dressed, I was wearing Petals (nipple covers) and an industrial strength bra … my dancing dress also had a bra sewn into it.”

Nancy adds, “I have been judged guilty without a trial … I will go to my grave denying the nip slip.”

Oh, so now Nancy Grace is concerned about being judged guilty without a trial? How novel.

It’s hard to tell in the video clip (start around 4:00) because the producers immediately cut away and she looked appropriately abashed. But I think it’s fair to say this dance routine had more flash than her previous efforts.

Sep

Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger Loves/H8s The Gays

By Sarah Jessica Snarker
Categories: Socialites and Television Stars 15 Comments

Patti Stanger is one of those non-celebrity celebrities whose existence I would probably be blissfully ignorant of were it not for this blog. I have nothing against Bravo as a network, it’s just that most of their shows, including Stanger’s Millionaire Matchmaker, are only one or two scrapes above the very bottom of the reality show barrel (the lowest of the low being reserved for TLC). But since keeping up with the chaff of cable network personae is part of my job description, I must admit that I do, in fact, know Stanger as the grating, and ironically single dating guru of the Bravo network. Good for me, right?

Anyway, as you can see from the photo at right, Stanger was one of about a zillion celebrities to lend their faces to the NOH8 Campaign protesting California’s Proposition 8. One might assume, from her participation in said campaign, that Stanger is in fact a friend of the gays.

But, of course, you know what happens when you assume:

Stanger, who got in trouble only last week after advising single women they needed to be dumber to get a man, got in a lot of heat for allegedly purporting negative gay stereotypes while guesting on Bravo’s Watch What Happens Live.

That’s right. She said mean things about gay people. While on Bravo. Bravo. That’s like going into a lion’s den and doing a live TV show where you say manes look stupid.

She was there to give relationship advice and, during her time there, told callers that gay men can’t have monogamous relationships, Jewish people lie, and said an audience member looked “straight” and that he should take it as “a compliment.”

Jeez. Maybe she’s just single and following her own advice.

Unsurprisingly, it was time for a full scale apology campaign. However, during her appearance on HLN’s Joy Behar Show, she just managed to make things worse. Behar gave her an out by asking her if her comments on gay promiscuity were due to male nature, but Stanger doubled down, explaining that gay men “whip it out at eye lock.”

Nice, right? Very un-H8-ty. Now, I watched both the Watch What Happens Live foot-in-mouth moment and the non-apology apology on the Joy Behar Show, and the truth is not only did Stanger not admit any guilt in the matter, the explanation she provided — that she wasn’t saying that all gay men are players, just all gay men in Los Angeles — was a complete misrepresentation of what she actually said on Andy Cohen’s Watch What Happens Live.

Continue reading ‘Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger Loves/H8s The Gays’

Sep

Jessica Simpson Has Come A Long Way, Baby

By Holly Won't
Categories: Musicians, Television Stars and The Religious 10 Comments

You know, I had high hopes that the reason Jessica Simpson was postponing her wedding to professional hanger-on Eric Johnson was because she had wised up to his moochy ways. (Or at least stopped looking at marital bliss as a competitive sport.)

But no, instead all the gossip rags are reporting that she’s knocked up instead with “kooky” cravings like nachos with chocolate. How that differs from her regularly scheduled diet is not clear.

This is as good a time as any to take a trip down memory lane and recall how Jessica went from a budding Christian music artist who was saving herself for marriage to shotgun bride to a former NFL player who got ‘er done. (Me? I still blame Papa Joe.)

And what better way to do that than a video montage of her first wedding day? I particularly enjoyed the portion of her vows to Nick Lachey in which the minister references her purity and how she consecrated her body to God.

Ah, 2002. It seems like just yesterday Jessica was sporting a purity ring. Where does the time go?

Sep

Julian Assange’s Unauthorized Autobiography Not, Um, Authorized

By Sarah Jessica Snarker
Categories: Legal Messes, Politicos, Slimy Creeps and Writers 16 Comments

Well, if this isn’t just the definition of irony, I don’t know what is:

Julian Assange‘s publishers will publish on Thursday the “unauthorised first draft” of his autobiography without his consent, months after theWikiLeaks founder withdrew from a million-pound contract for his memoirs.

In a dramatic move, Canongate has defied Assange’s wishes and secretly printed thousands of copies of Julian Assange: The Unauthorised Autobiography, with the book being shipped amid strict security to booksellers in preparation for imminent release. The enormous security operation was put in place by the publishers, according to a source, to stop the author blocking publication. . . . .

Canongate said: “Despite sitting for more than 50 hours of taped interviews and spending many late nights at Ellingham Hall in Norfolk (where he was – and still is – living under house arrest) discussing his life and the work of WikiLeaks with the writer he had enlisted to help him, Julian became increasingly troubled by the thought of publishing an autobiography. After reading the first draft of the book that was delivered to the publishers at the end of March, he declared: ‘All memoir is prostitution.’ On 7 June 2011, Julian told Canongate he wanted to cancel his contract.

“However, he had already signed his advance over to his lawyers to settle his legal bills and has not repaid the advance owed since. So the contract still stands and Canongate has decided to honour it and publish the autobiography.”

Boy, it just sucks when people publish stuff against your wishes, eh, Julian? And, the best part? Looks like no one is interested in Assange’s life story — authorized or unauthorized. According to Nielsen BookScan data, the “leaked” memoir sold just 644 copies in its first three days on sale in the UK.

H/T: AllyKat

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