Snowden Reveals Program That Recorded All of an Unnamed Country's Phone Calls

—Ace

This is a terribly damaging disclosure, and it will only get worse, once Snowden reveals which country was bugged, or that country figures it out for itself.

Certainly this would be considered a crown jewel of intelligence work; it's now entirely undone. The targets know about it, and we're on the edge of a diplomatic shitstorm of end-times proportions.

Snowden seems to believe that the United States is simply not permitted an intelligence service at all. Any intelligence service would, of course, ferret out a target nation's secrets; that's the whole point of it. But Snowden seems to believe that foreign nationals and foreign governments have a right to privacy that we are not permitted to breach.

America once shuttered its codebreaking offices, back in 1929. Explaining the decision, former Secretary of State Henry Stimson would later write in his memoirs the notoriously naïve principle: "Gentlemen do not read each other's mail."

And here we go again.

The National Security Agency has built a surveillance system capable of recording “100 percent” of a foreign country’s telephone calls, enabling the agency to rewind and review conversations as long as a month after they take place, according to people with direct knowledge of the effort and documents supplied by former contractor Edward Snowden.

A senior manager for the program compares it to a time machine — one that can replay the voices from any call without requiring that a person be identified in advance for surveillance.

...

The voice interception program, called MYSTIC, began in 2009. Its RETRO tool, short for “retrospective retrieval,” and related projects reached full capacity against the first target nation in 2011. Planning documents two years later anticipated similar operations elsewhere.

In the initial deployment, collection systems are recording “every single” conversation nationwide, storing billions of them in a 30-day rolling buffer that clears the oldest calls as new ones arrive, according to a classified summary.

The call buffer opens a door “into the past,” the summary says, enabling users to “retrieve audio of interest that was not tasked at the time of the original call.” Analysts listen to only a fraction of 1 percent of the calls, but the absolute numbers are high. Each month, they send millions of voice clippings, or “cuts,” for processing and long-term storage.

The Washington Post is withholding details that could give away which country was targeted, but 1) apparently Snowden is revealing it anyway, and 2) come on, we're talking about ten possible target countries. They can guess that they were omnibugged, or that they might be the next one to be omnibugged.

I've mentioned this before, but the intelligence agencies often pay corporations to develop spy tech for them. Much of the cutting edge stuff cannot be made in government labs; you need someone like Kodak to make a truly micro-camera or micro-battery for you.

At some point, the fruits of this government-funded engineering show up on the private market. Kodak may sit on a breakthrough tiny battery for six or eight years, to give the government spies the benefit of their coup, but at some point, they're going to want to put that on the market.

My point is that whatever was done here seems to involve data compression. The notion of capturing and storing so much data would have been pure science-fiction just ten years ago.

But we've gotten used to some of these science-fiction conveniences. Ten years ago, it was impossible to pipe high-definition movies to people on demand. Now it's not only commonplace, but it's entirely unremarkable. No one really pauses to consider how incredible it is that they can tell their phone to download the entire film Gravity in hi-def and not only can they do so, but they can actually watch the movie within seconds of pushing the button.

Anyway, point is, I'm thinking that some of these incredible strides in data compression might just have been partly funded by the NSA.

More: My guess for the targeted country is North Korea. It's a basket case that needs watching, and it's small and impoverished -- I imagine that phone traffic is pretty small, and what traffic it has will be disproportionately made up of military and civilian elites. People worth listening to.

Also: Person of Interest. One of the creators, Jonathan Nolan I think, observed that when they started the show, they assumed the premise was sci-fi and fantasy, mostly. But as the years have gone by, they've realized more and more that it's not sci-fi, not even near-term sci-fi. It's going on right now.

The remaining sci-fi premise (as opposed to a premise that is actually real) of Person of Interest is artificial intelligence.

I'm beginning to wonder about that. I'm starting to wonder if in ten years we're going to find out, "Oh yeah, we had the first AI in 2012."

The Museum of Bad Art

—Ace

From VA Viper, who has more, including a gallery of some of the Museum's best (worst) pieces, and the backstory on the first piece the Museum collected.

It's pretty funny, and the curator of Bad Art has a good sense of humor. (When asked if the first piece collected by the museum is "priceless," she agrees it is, but then quickly adds that if anyone offers her a million dollars for it, she's selling it.)

Of course, it's going to occur to most people: How is this crap any worse than half of the crap hanging in art galleries?

Via The Corner, which is actually heavy on strange art collections today.

Investigators: Flight 370's Westward Turn Was Pre-Programmed into the Flight Management Computer; Thailand Says They Spotted an Unidentified Plane on Their Radar

—Ace

The Flight Management Computer sits on a pedestal between the captain and copilot, so it could be accessed by either. Or by someone with pre-flight access to the computer.

The change may have been made with as little as seven or eight keystrokes of typing into the Flight Management Computer, simply substituting a new, more westerly waypoint for the original, scheduled one. Waypoints have a five character code; I guess the additional characters would be to indicate a new waypoint, and to hit enter.

The fact that the turn away from Beijing was programmed into the computer has reinforced the belief of investigators — first voiced by Malaysian officials — that the plane was deliberately diverted and that foul play was involved. It has also increased their focus on the plane’s captain and first officer.

The Malaysians, by the way, have officially retracted that previous report (already largely debunked) that the ACARS system was turned off before the copilot's last words over the radio.

The new timeline seems to be this:

1:07 am: Last ACARS ping

1:19 am: "All right, good night" communication from cockpit

1:37 am: Scheduled ACARS ping which never happened, because the system had been shut off. ACARS then was shut off sometime between 1:07 am and 1:37 am, and investigators can't pin it down any more than that (for now).

Flight 370’s Flight Management System reported its status to the Acars, which in turn transmitted information back to a maintenance base, according to an American official. This shows that the reprogramming happened before the Acars stopped working. The Acars ceased to function about the same time that oral radio contact was lost and the airplane’s transponder also stopped, fueling suspicions that foul play was involved in the plane’s disappearance.

I sort of understand that but note that previously, evidence that these systems had been turned off at different times fueled suspicion that the plane's flightpath was deliberately altered; the new theory is that the fact that all these systems went out at the same time is evidence of deliberate action.

It seems whether they were turned off at the same time or different times, we're taking that as evidence of foul play. I suspect foul play myself, but it's a bit illogical to take exactly-opposite evidence as proving the same thing.

In an effort to determine whether the pilot had practiced taking down the plane, the authorities have reassembled the simulator for experts to examine.

Have I missed something? Was there a previous report the flight simulator had been disassembled? If not, what's that "reassembled" doing in there? Or do they just mean investigators disassembled it to remove it from the pilot's house? (It was a sizable thing, with three computer screens to simulate the view from the cockpit.)

As far as Thailand's spotting of a UFO: If that was flight 370, that would indicate a northwest trajectory for the plane, toward (Ed Morrissey says) India and the Central Asian Republics.

I suppose it would also indicate Pakistan as possible endpoint.

Given that Thailand detected this UFO on the night the plane went missing, there are questions why it took them 10 days to say something. It seems no one wants to admit the capabilities of their radars. Understandable, I guess, but what's the point of military radar if you can't use it to track down a plane possibly hijacked by terrorists?

What the Hell Did I Just Watch? Yesterday Ronan Farrow had on Lester Holt to play show and tell with a flight simulator. Holt owns one, and calls himself a "frustrated pilot" (I think he means wannabe pilot), and Farrow had him on to show the audience just what a flight simulator is.

I suppose the basics of this are useful enough-- there may be some small number of people who don't know what a flight simulator is, or may imagine that the only flight simulators are those huge, acceleration-simulating multimillion dollar things that pros use to train.

But it's very awkward and strange to watch Farrow ask some dumb questions about what is, basically, an elaborate and difficult videogame available for virtually any computer.

Oh: Farrow keeps asking Holt if it's "suspicious" that a pilot should own a flight simulator.

This is not a dumb question, but it is a stupid question to ask Holt. Holt is not an expert or a pilot capable of offering an opinion on this question. He's just a reporter who owns a flight simulator, period.

Farrow is asking a guy with no good way to know the answer the same question, multiple times.

Whether or not it's unusual for a pilot to own a flight simulator, or to be an enthusiast for flight simulators, is a good question, if you ask an actual commercial pilot.

Tuesday Morning News Dump

—BenK

• Putin Reconizes Crimean Independence And The Ancschluss
• Handing Over The Keys To The Internet
• Ukraine Preparing For Russian Invasion
• Lawsuit Challenges Use Of Endangered Species To Stop Energy Boom
• Astronomers Discover Echo Of The Big Bang
• Feds Work Around Restraining Order To Execute Search Warrant On Gun Parts Store
• Aristotle On Crimea
• Elections Have Been Lost Over Less Serious Gaffes Than This One
• Duh: Health Insurance Premiums Up Under Obamacare
• America Needs A Healthy Does Of Elitism
• Not Ready For Hillary
• Romney Shreds Obama's Failed Leadership
• Evil Koch Brothers Employ An Out Of State Actor In Colorado Ad!
• Wes Anderson Centered

Follow me on twitter.

Top Headline Comments 3-18-14

—Gabriel Malor

Happy Tuesday.

NYTimes' latest piece on the Malaysian plane is that (at least) the first change in course was the result of computer input, not manual control. So all those folks who suggested that the drastic course change was the result of a struggle in the cockpit really didn't know enough to say.

The city council of Seattle has decided to kill upstart ride-sharing companies Uber and Lyft to protect the taxi industry at the expense of riders.

"Nanobionic" plants. I love this sci-fi-turned-reality stuff.

Charles C.W. Cook wrote on "Handing Over the Keys to the Internet."

This, about how the presidents makes phone calls to other world leaders, was interesting.

[RSS]

[On iTunes]

Overnight Open Thread (3-17-2014)

—Maetenloch

The 727 That Vanished

It's rare that a large commercial jet goes completely missing but it has happened. Just over ten years ago a 727 took off from Angola and has never been seen since.

On May 25, 2003, shortly before sunset, Padilla boarded the company's Boeing 727-223, tail number N844AA. With him was a helper he had recently hired, John Mikel Mutantu, from the Republic of the Congo. The two had been working with Angolan mechanics to return the 727 to flight-ready status so they could reclaim it from a business deal gone bad, but neither could fly it. Mutantu was not a pilot, and Padilla had only a private pilot's license. A 727 ordinarily requires three trained aircrew.

According to press reports, the aircraft began taxiing with no communication between the crew and the tower; maneuvering erratically, it entered a runway without clearance. With its lights off and its transponder not transmitting, 844AA took off to the southwest, and headed out over the Atlantic Ocean. The 727 and the two men have not been seen since.

Most likely the men ended up crashing it but no wreckage was ever found. And in the years since then neither the plane nor its parts have ever appeared on the aviation market.

Is This Something?

—Ace

Former Obama zealot denounces Obama for leftwing reasons.

I don't know if it's something. I suppose it's good that she's learned that all Personality Cults are lies.

And, Open Thread.

Cosmologists Say They've Discovered The Gravitational Waves Predicted by Einstein, Evidence of the First Trillionth of a Second of the Big Bang's Lightspeed Expansion

—Ace

If I understand this right (and I probably don't), the universe is estimated to be 13.8 billion years old. This estimate is made based upon how much cooler hot bodies have become over time, calculating backwards from present temperatures.

That figuring yields a 13.8 billion year estimated age. However, the size of the universe is inconsistent with this 13.8 billion year figure. The size of the universe suggests an older universe, because things couldn't have moved so far (space couldn't have expanded so much, distant galaxies couldn't have flown away so far) in just 13.8 years.

I think we know how fast galaxies are moving away from each other, and this current speed is not adequate to explain the prodigious distances between them, given the 13.8 billion year estimated age. Therefore, it must be that at some point in the very, very remote past, things (and spacetime itself) were moving much, must faster than they currently seem to be.

So there's a theory to explain why the heat-figured age of the universe (13.8 billion years) diverges from the distance-and-dimension age of the universe (many, many billions of years more than 13.8 billion years): inflation. The theory is that the very early universe, in the opening trillionth of a second of existence, somehow had the property of expanding at the speed of light... or even faster. I believe physical laws weren't quite firmed up yet (the universe created physical laws at the same time it created physical space), so there may be a little wiggle room, in the earliest microseconds of the Big Bang, as to what is and isn't physically possible.

If understand this right (which, again, I don't), cosmologists have been searching for "gravity waves" in the background radiation of the universe, itself an echo of the Big Bang. Background radiation is presumed to be the scattered energy of the once ultrahot, ultradense universe (very understatedly termed "the hot dense state").

I guess they've been searching for variations -- wavelike peaks and troughs -- in this primordial residue.

Einstein, I think, predicted that such "gravity waves" existed and should eventually be detectable by human instrumentation. These gravity waves apparently also prove (or tend to prove) the inflation theory as well.

I think -- again, I don't really understand this -- that gravity waves would represent a "wrinkling" in unfolding spacetime consistent with the inflation sub-theory of the Big Bang Theory. I suppose a lack of gravity waves, and therefore a smoothness in the background radiation, would disprove it or undermine it.

Before getting into that, these waves were detected by a telescope operating at the South Pole, because the South Pole has such thin sky above it, and such little local light. The telescope is called BICEP2. This is a pretty cool picture of the Antarctic telescope:

I wanted to post that picture because it's the only thing I understand on a tangible level here. And because, colors.

From Stanford:

Researchers from the BICEP2 collaboration today announced the first direct evidence supporting this theory, known as "cosmic inflation." Their data also represent the first images of gravitational waves, or ripples in space-time. These waves have been described as the "first tremors of the Big Bang." Finally, the data confirm a deep connection between quantum mechanics and general relativity.

...

These groundbreaking results came from observations by the BICEP2 telescope of the cosmic microwave background – a faint glow left over from the Big Bang. Tiny fluctuations in this afterglow provide clues to conditions in the early universe. For example, small differences in temperature across the sky show where parts of the universe were denser, eventually condensing into galaxies and galactic clusters.

Because the cosmic microwave background is a form of light, it exhibits all the properties of light, including polarization. On Earth, sunlight is scattered by the atmosphere and becomes polarized, which is why polarized sunglasses help reduce glare. In space, the cosmic microwave background was scattered by atoms and electrons and became polarized too.

...

Gravitational waves squeeze space as they travel, and this squeezing produces a distinct pattern in the cosmic microwave background. Gravitational waves have a "handedness," much like light waves, and can have left- and right-handed polarizations.

"The swirly B-mode pattern is a unique signature of gravitational waves because of their handedness," Kuo said.

Okay, I don't really understand this, but I think they're saying that if spacetime is itself propagating it should propagate like a wave, with peaks and directionality, and this should show up in this "swirliness" detected in background radiation.

And somehow this is due to quantum mechanical effects on the tiniest possible scale becoming visible on a cosmic scale, due to a universe which had previously been smaller than an electron suddenly blowing up to a size thousands of lightyears across. In blowing up in size from much, much smaller than an atom, to much, much bigger than a galaxy in just a second or two, the secondary effects of quantum-level of phenomena, the imprinting of "swirliness" in the background raditation, were blown up like a photograph being increased in size a billionfold.

Subatomic-scale phenomena become visible when you blow them up a billion or trillion times in size. 220, 221, whatever it takes.

Scientists believe that in the fabric of space-time, there are tiny ripples called quantum fluctuations. If you could look at space-time on the smallest scale possible, you would, in theory, see them, even today. Unfortunately, no microscope is capable of seeing something that small.

Such fluctuations also existed at the beginning of the universe. Inflation, said Irwin, blew them up much larger. That is what we think of as gravitational waves.

The gravitational waves suggested by the BICEP2 results would have expanded across the entire universe at that time, Irwin said. The length of one of these waves -- the distance between peaks and troughs -- would have been billions of light years across.

Light from the early universe, called cosmic microwave background radiation, reveals these telltale signs of our universe's history...

Instead of temperature, BICEP2 scientists were looking specifically at the polarization of the cosmic microwave background -- that is, the direction the electric field is pointing across the sky....

In theory, this swirling polarization pattern could only be created from gravitational waves. And that is what BICEP2 found.

"It's a very clean signature of those gravity waves," Irwin said.

As I keep saying, I don't understand this. It seems like big shakes, though, so I've given it my best try.

Incidentally, these waves were apparently detected three years ago, but they've kept the discovery quiet as they've firmed up their case that these are the gravitational waves they've been looking for.

In one of these articles (can't find it now, alas), they speculated that while nothing can move faster in space than light, space itself can move (expand) faster than the speed of light.

I just mention that because, Hyperspace and Warp Drive. We all want it.

Rangers Confront Man Wearing Nonsensical Uniform and Tabs Identifying Him as a Ranger

—Ace

Not sure myself what the truth is here, but the man accused of falsely wearing a Ranger tab eventually takes it off. He doesn't seem to have many answers to the actual Ranger's questions.

The man (who is unidentified) was wearing the uniform on the campus San Joaquin Delta College. It's unclear why he was wearing the uniform; I don't see from this video that he was taking part in an anti-war protest or that sort of a thing.

He's confronted by a Ranger and another veteran who note that his uniform makes no sense (pointing out, for example, that the guy's 75th Rangers tab doesn't go with a 101st division tab:

“You do realize that the 101st is not a Ranger unit?” someone offscreen adds. “You do realize that the 101st is not an E.O.D. unit?”

I may have gotten the details of their argument wrong because I'm pretty clueless about military units and such.

Content warning for yelled expletiives.

Ukraine Refuses to Remove Its Own Troops from Russian-Occupied Crimea; Tells Troops to Prepare for War

—Ace

I hope this is just bluster for domestic consumption. I don't want to see a lot of dead Ukrainians.

In the wake of a March 16 referendum in which Crimeans voted to join the Russian Federation, Ukrainian leaders refused to cede any part of the peninsula, calling on their troops to prepare for war.

“Crimea was, is, and will be our territory,” said Defense Minister Ihor Tenyukh in a statement delivered at the Ukrainian Crisis Media Center on March 17.

Former heavyweight boxing champion and leader of the Ukrainian Democratic Alliance for Reform Vitali Klitschko announced that Ukrainian troops would remain at their bases, even after March 21, the end of a peace treaty signed by the interior ministries of Ukraine and Russia.

In accordance with the March 16 peace treaty, the Russian Interior Ministry promised to allow Ukrainian soldiers to pass freely into and out of their bases, which Russian troops had surrounded for more than two weeks. Tenyukh said that the Russian military had thus far respected the terms of the treaty.

Russia has, not unexpectedly, immediately recognized the new free and totally legitimate state of Serious You Guys We're Independent Crimea.

The worry is that Putin doesn't just want Crimea, but is looking for a pretext to invade either the eastern half of Ukraine, or all of it.

If Obama expected this morning's sanctions to dissuade Putin from making more aggressive moves, Russia's Deputy PM splashed cold water on that.

U.S. official have warned of additional sanctions for Russian action, hoping it will deter Russia from any further aggression towards Ukraine, but it didn’t appear to upset the often outspoke Deputy Prime Minister Dmitry Rogozin.

Rogozin, a friend of actor Steven Seagal, took to Twitter to tweak Obama, tweeting he thinks “some prankster” came up with the sanctions list.

In a later tweet addressed to “Comrade @BarackObama,” he asked, “what should do those who have neither accounts nor property abroad? Or U didn’t think about it?”

Over the weekend the completely free referendum on Crimea's autonomy was held, and the completely plausible results were 96.77% voting in favor of joining the Russian federation.

In other moves, Crimea will nationalize some of its energy companies and of course sell them to Russia. In exchange...

The deputy prime minister of Crimea says the region has set up a new central bank and is expecting to get $30 million in support from Russia. Rustam Temirgaliyev was quoted by the Interfax news agency as saying Russia will send to Crimea 1 billion rubles "in the coming days" to help it stabilize its financial situation. Temirgaliyev said the new central bank will later function as a regional branch of the Russian central bank.

Of Course: Obama Using March Madness Brackets to Sell Obamacare

—Ace

Obama's dwindling fans are encouraged to fill out their own brackets, in which the "Sweetest 16 Reasons to #GetCovered" will be competing as the best reason to sign up for bad, overpriced insurance.

This latest Trivial Social Media Stunt seems inadequate to the task, given that Democrats are now privately admitting that Obamacare is "political poison."

Even former White House spokesman Robert Gibbs now confesses Democratic hold of the Senate is "definitely, absolutely" in danger.

The Wire says Democrats are having a "midterm freakout."

Comedian Now Has Next Several Years' Worth of Material Covered, Sources Say

—Ace

A comedian rented out his apartment on the "Airbnb" site. It's some kind of short-term, private internet-arranged apartment rental service. If you're going out of town for a week, you could rent your apartment out to make some income while you're away.

The comic says he thought he had rented it out to a family seeking to visit the city to, you know, visit F.A.O. Schwartz and engage in other family-friendly activities.

He was wrong.

A comedian under the impression he had rented out his posh Chelsea pad to a man with family in town for a wedding returned home to a wild orgy, he said.

...

When he returned to the building to grab his luggage, a rowdy sex party featuring “Big Beautiful Women” was in the process of being shut down by building management...

“The worst part of the Internet right there was in my apartment.”

“There were all sorts of people walking out of my apartment and people coming in from the back yard. It was a huge mess.”

Teman said his apartment was trashed by a group of nearly nude, overweight people.

The guy who rented the apartment, one Carter, denies anything untoward happened, and insists it was just some friends and family who stopped by, and that a little partying never hurt anyone.

...

When Teman later searched Carter’s phone number on the Internet, he found the raunchy soiree involving plus-size women advertised online as “Turn Up Part 2: The Pantie Raid.”

One person even blasted out Teman’s Seventh Avenue address in a tweet for an “XXX FREAK FEST.”

Regarding that reference to the comic being evicted: Most rental agreements specifically forbid subrenting rooms. Apparently New York City calls apartments rented in such a manner "illegal transient hotels," and you can be fined by the city, and evicted from your apartment, for so using them.

Per that NYT article, as of 2012, at least, the Airbnb site does caution users to not break any applicable local laws, but does not go into detail about what those laws are, or what the consequences for breaking them might be.

Thanks to @benk84.

Great: Iraqi Faction Drafting Law Detailing Rules of Divorce for 8-Year-Olds, as a Backdoor Way to Say that Adult Men Can Marry 8-Year-Olds

—Ace

The law doesn't say that 8-year-olds can marry, per se, but the fact that it encodes the law as to how they may be divorced seems to be a sneaky way to legally endorse the unthinkable.

The law actually specifies 9-year-olds, but, due to the vagaries of the Islamic calendar (which is shorter than an actual year), "9-year-olds" actually means, at their youngest, girls 8 years and 8 months old.

The current law in Iraq says that girls of 18 or older may marry at will, and those as young as 15 may marry with their parents' permission. And 15 seems young, but we've got laws like that in some states of the USA, too.

This new draft law, on the other hand, is unspeakable.

The proposed new measure, known as the Jaafari Personal Status Law, is based on the principles of a Shiite school of religious law founded by Jaafar al-Sadiq, the sixth Shiite imam. Iraq's Justice Ministry late last year introduced the draft measure to the Cabinet, which approved it last month despite strong opposition by rights groups and activists.

Of course, when they say "parental permission," they only mean the father: Only the father has the power to bless or refuse an underage marriage.

And they've got even more good stuff in there for women (or 8 year old girls, as the case may be) too:

Also under the proposed measure, a husband can have sex with his wife regardless of her consent. The bill also prevents women from leaving the house without their husband's permission, would restrict women's rights in matters of parental custody after divorce and make it easier for men to take multiple wives.

Well that's just special.

Meanwhile, feminists in America are deep in their own struggle: Bossily demanding that people stop calling bossy people bossy.

Unexpectedly, Vermont's Plan for a State Single-Payer System Is Also Circling the Drain

—Ace

Vermont didn't embrace Obamacare. You see, Obamacare didn't go far enough. Vermont instead choose to meet Obamacare's legal mandates on the states by implementing a single-payer system, planned for a 2017 start-up. The law -- is it even a law anymore? -- permits states to seek a waiver from Obamacare's other strictures if they propose their own plan which is at least as generous (that is, socialized) as Obamacare itslef.

It's gone about as well as you might expect.

Rep. Jim Condon [a "Blue Dog Democrat" who voted against the plan when it was proposed in 2011] told Vermont Watchdog it's time for Gov. Peter Shumlin to shelve the ambitious plan immediately.

"The deadlines for proposing financing have been missed two years in a row now, so to me that's very disappointing. It's becoming clearer and clearer that there is no financing plan," Condon told Vermont Watchdog.

As Vermont Watchdog reported, an independent report by the Washington, D.C.-based consulting firm Avalere Health concluded that the costs of Green Mountain Care would require Vermont to raise tax revenue roughly equal to the state's tax collections from all sources today.

And, um, it's costing a lot more money than originally claimed. Who knew?

Thanks to @johnekdahl.

Even More Evidence Flight 370 Was Deliberately Diverted; Probe Now Officially a Criminal Investigation; Pilots Investigated

—Ace

The Malaysia PM now calls the disappearance "deliberate."

Malaysia's prime minister says the disappearance of Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 appears to be "deliberate."

Speaking to the press early Saturday, Prime Minister Najib Razak said the investigation has refocused onto the crew and passengers aboard the missing plane. He added that despite growing evidence to suggest a possible hijacking or sabotage, all possibilities are still being investigated.

..

Earlier, a Malaysian government official who is involved in the investigation said investigators have concluded that one of the pilots or someone else with flying experience hijacked the missing Malaysia Airlines jet.

...

The official said that hijacking was no longer a theory. "It is conclusive."

..

Sources told the Reuters news agency on Friday, meanwhile, that the path Flight 370 appears to have taken after diverting from its intended route strongly suggests that a trained pilot was still in control of the aircraft.

More clues keep coming in, some of them, of course, contradictory, as they usually have been in this case.

First, the plane was allegedly dropped to 5,000 feet. There is no reason to fly at such a low altitude -- it's difficult and it eats up fuel -- unless a skilled pilot intends to evade radar.

Second, despite earlier reports that the ACARS system was turned off before the cockpit issued its last communication with air control ("All right, good night"), there now appears to be considerable doubt about that.

Malaysian officials earlier said those words ["All right, good night"] came after one of the jetliner's data communications systems - the Aircraft Communications Addressing and Reporting System - had been switched off, sharpening suspicion that one or both of the pilots may have been involved in the plane's disappearance.

However, Ahmad said Monday that while the last data transmission from ACARS - which gives plane performance and maintenance information - came before that, it was still unclear at what point the system was switched off. That opened the possibility that both ACARS and the plane's transponders - which make the plane visible to civilian air traffic controllers - were severed later and at about the same time.

So the earlier report seemed based upon the last transmission from ACARS -- not actual evidence the system had been disabled at any particular time. Also, the way I read this, this seems to strongly undermine previous reports that ACARS and the transponder had been turned off at different times -- because it looks like the guess as to when ACARS was turned off only comes from when its last transmission occurred. Assuming that ACARS only pings a satellite intermittently (which must be true), the last transmission from ACARS gives very little clue at all as to when it was turned off. It can only tell you the last time it was definitely on.

A previous report had suggested that Flight 370 disappeared in a corridor of very little radar cover, in between Malaysia's radar system and Vietnam's, suggesting that whoever stole the plane chose the best possible time and place to disable the transponder. I don't know if that report still holds up; everything seems to be revised 24 hours later.

The Daily Mail now reports that it was not the captain but the copilot who said "All right, good night," but I'm not sure that really matters.

On the other hand, this seems worth looking into:

It has also been revealed that the pilot's wife and three children moved out of the family home the day before the plane went missing.

The report goes on to say that US investigators say that the pilot and co-pilot did not ask to be assigned to fly together, reducing the likelihood of a conspiracy between them.

The Daily Mail also claims that nine people in northern Malaysia claim to have seen either bright lights in the sky, or heard a jet engine, or both, the night of the disappearance.

Investigators told the New Straits Times that they were now convinced the aircraft flow low over Kelantan, which is in the north east - exactly the same area where the villagers and fishermen who saw bright lights in the sky on the night the jet vanished are living.

At least nine people - fishermen, farmers and villagers - have made reports to police about seeing lights in the sky and some said they heard the loud noise of an engine.
These accounts appear to match the conclusions of investigators who say the jet flew low after making a sharp turn and heading west from its course over the South China Sea.

The first report of a 'bright light descending at high speed' came from Alif Fathi Abdul Hadi, 29, who said he saw the light heading towards the South China Sea at 1.45am on the night the aircraft disappeared.

A lot has been written about the captain's ownership of a flight simulator. It wouldn't ordinarily seem very suspicious that a pilot owns a flight simulator, but in the current context, of course, every tiny fact is being examined.

The Daily Mail also says a steward aboard the flight owned a flight simulator as well.

That doesn't seem terribly unusual or important to me, but, again, everything is now being looked at.

Monday Morning News Dump

—BenK

• Will Asians Kill Race Preferences In California
• NRA Opposition May Sink Obama's Surgeon General Nominee
• Michelle Obama Cited Bogus Statistics In Claim Childhood Obesity Was Reduced
• Three Al Qaeda Terrorists Accidentally Blow Themselves Up
• Everything Must Be Politicized
• Crimea Through A Game Theory Lens
• The Face Behind The Ted Cruz Posters
• The Quote-Unquote Presidency
• Are Economic Sanctions Against Russia Worth It
• Crew Saves Dog From Cliff

Sorry for the meager offerings but I hurt myself a bit yesterday and needed to sleep in.

Top Headline Comments 3-17-14

—Gabriel Malor

Happy SnowPatrick's Day.

The Most Transparent Administration Ever^TM has won the distinction of -- more than ever -- censoring or outright denying access to files under the Freedom of Information Act.

Former White House press secretary Robert Gibbs had a moment of candor about the lack of candor from the White House on the possibility of losing the Senate: "I did the same thing a few years ago on your show and I still have tire tracks from Nancy Pelosi for saying what I thought."

Folks over at the Federalist noticed Obama's insane rambling about who is at fault for the high costs of the Unaffordable Care Act. Spoiler: it's Texas.

In foreign policy news, Crimea's parliament declared independence after the referendum at gunpoint. Formal recognition of the annexation of Crimea by Russia is expected to quickly follow.

[RSS]

[On iTunes]

Overnight Open Thread (3-16-2014)

—Maetenloch

The Latest on Missing Flight MH370

So after examining all the data collected so far authorities are now fairly convinced that the plane was deliberately diverted due to human action. This is based on a couple of details:

• The fact that the ACARS system was logged off (versus just being cut off) over 10 minutes before the transponder cut off (which happened right at an ATC handoff).
• Military primary radar returns showing a plane heading west over Malaysia shortly later and making course adjustments and possible drastic altitude changes.
• Satellite hand-shake pings going on for another 7+ hours

None of these are conclusive but the combination is extremely difficult to explain by any other scenario than a takeover by someone.

So based on the strength/timing of the last satellite ping, the satellite footprint, and remaining fuel authorities believe the plane went down somewhere near the two arcs shown below in red. People are referring to the two possible arcs as the Terrorism route (Northern arc) and the Suicide route (Southern arc).  [Note that the arcs represent the possible location of the plane at the last ping - not the flight path up to that point.]

The Northern arc is problematical due to the mountainous terrain and large amount of radar systems along all the national borders. So far no country in that area has reported any contacts that might match the plane's flight. And on the Southern arc there are very few radar installations except for Australia's JORN OTHR system which may not have been active during the flight.

More here:

Series of Errors by Malaysia Mounts, Complicating the Task of Finding Flight 370

The ongoing Prune.org thread

Map of the constrained area on the Southern arc

Something Silly: Are You a Dog Person or a Cat Person? [Y-not]

—Open Blogger

That thread was getting a bit gamey, so how about an online "personality" quiz courtesy of the Christian Science Monitor?

FWIW, I got "You're sort of a cat person."

You are a bit of a dreamer, with wide-ranging interests, but with a tendency to misplace things and procrastinate. You don't mind being alone, and when you go to parties you usually end up having long conversations with just a few people. You tend to fret too much, but given a chance to reflect you are able to put things in perspective. (Or maybe we've got you completely wrong. This isn't really science, after all.)

And Open Thread.

??????

—JohnE.

more from WH: Obama’s bracket will be released Wed. the presidential bracket will be used for ACA messaging this year, WH says.

— E McMorris-Santoro (@EvanMcSan) March 16, 2014

I'm out of things to say.

Update: Wait, maybe I missed some sarcasm here or something.

@BrianFaughnan @JohnEkdahl they’re going to do an ACA msg along with POTUS’ bracket. goal is to capitalize on traffic driven by bracket.

— E McMorris-Santoro (@EvanMcSan) March 16, 2014

Nope.

Food Thread: Avocado Liberation Front (CBD)

—Open Blogger

We Politely Request That All Off-Topic or Political Comments Be Directed to the Thread Directly Below This One, Which Will Serve Officially as the Current "Active Conversation" Thread for All Discussions Not Related To This Topic.

Keep your damned thumbs off my avocados.

Many of you have done it. You poke through the huge pile of avocados, desperately looking for one that isn't baseball hard and several days from succulent, luscious, delightful guacamole. And you squeeze and prod and poke, ruining every single one you touch.

You know who you are.

Stop, and all will be forgiven.

Continue, and the wrath of the ALF will come down upon you.

Open Thread (reserved for politics) [CBD]

—Open Blogger

Or the newest conspiracy theories that explain MH370.

Sunday Travel Thread: Viva Las Vegas Edition [Y-not]

—Open Blogger

Greetings traveling morons!

Today’s thread is brought to you by Thin Elvis:

Since I was in Vegas for a few days last week, I thought today’s Travel Thread should be about Spring Break locations… focusing on the Trashiest ones. In other words, the sorts of places young, hormone-driven ewoks might visit in order to learn the fine art of hobo hunting.

To get us started, this quiz, courtesy of How Stuff Works, will give you a chance to see just how much you know about Spring Break. (I got 15 out of 20, with a lot of guessing.)

I confess the entire concept of Spring Break (whose “season” has been underway for a few weeks nows) completely escaped my notice, both in college and in high school (seems like there’s a high school version, too, isn’t there?). Our family budget was pretty tight. We rarely took family vacations, so the idea of a vacation solely for us brat college kids was certainly not in the cards. My sister and I were usually working during school breaks, anyway.

But it’s A Thing, apparently. And, a really Big Thing.

According to Mental Floss Spring Break got its start in Fort Lauderdale, much longer ago than I would have guessed:

what we now know as Spring Break really began because of two events: When Fort Lauderdale built Florida's first Olympic-size pool in 1928, and when MGM released Where The Boys Are in 1960.

Fort Lauderdale's pool, considered mammoth at the time, brought the nation's top competitive swimmers to the city during their break from classes, and by the late '30s, more than 1500 student-athletes were flocking to the city's College Coaches' Swim Forum. The first of these forums was hosted in 1938, and droves of college swimmers made Fort Lauderdale their exclusive Spring Break home well into the '60s. By that time, non-student athletes began to take part in what these swimmers had created; Time first mentioned the phenomenon in their 1959 article titled "Beer & the Beach." The bacchanal had gone mainstream.

A year later, MGM released Where The Boys Are, a coming-of-age film that followed four college women during their spring vacation. And just like everything in a postmodern society, reality reflects art. Spring Break became a very real thing for any collegiate male or female who wanted to escape to sand and sun.

Here’s the trailer for Where the Boys Are featuring a very young George Hamilton:

According to The Travel Channel, the following are the top dozen spring break destinations: Las Vegas, the Bahamas, the Dominican Republic, Miami, Puerta Vallarta, Daytona Beach, South Padre Island, Panama City Beach, Jamaica, Cancun, Cabo San Lucas, and Acapulco. (You can consider these places to go to get your freak on or, like me, consider them places to AVOID in March and April.) How many have you visited? I’ve only been to Vegas and Cancun, the latter was for a conference so it really doesn’t count.

BTW, Texas morons, how is South Padre Island? I regret I never got around to going there when I lived in the Lone Star State.

One thing that’s interesting to me is that Aruba doesn’t make the Travel Channel’s list. Could it be that the Natalie Holloway disappearance has hurt their reputation as a good place to go for Spring Break? Incidentally, there was recently some developments on the fate of scumbag Joran van der Sloot. (Read about it here at the Daily Mail.)

Closer to home CoEd.com provides a list of the 20 Trashiest (American) Spring Break Destinations.

Las Vegas is Number One, baby!

For the third year in a row, Las Vegas has retained its title as America’s #1 Trashiest Spring Break Destination. No surprise there, considering the City of Sin is the world leader in most of our “Trashy” benchmarks: strip clubs, Girls Gone Wild, lenient drinking laws, and of course casinos. Even hotel and airfare prices are low–courtesy of all the Vegas casinos who figure that if they can get you in the door, then they can take your money the old fashioned way.

As with all rankings, this list is under dispute. Courtesy of the Miami New Times, the Ten (Actual) Trashiest Spring Break locations. Their list seems more in keeping with the Moron Lifestyle. But, like CoEd.com, the Miami New Times agrees that Vegas is THE Trashiest Spring Break location.

It may come as a surprise to you to learn that Salt Lake City, Utah, did NOT make any of these Spring Break lists. I know, I know! That’s messed up. (Like Pluto.) Being of a scientific bent, I decided to conduct my own comparison between SLC and Vegas, so at considerable expense and personal risk, I traveled to Las Vegas last week. Here are the highly scientific results:

Hobo Sightings

On a typical jaunt to Salt Lake City one can expect to encounter many hobos, both young and old, owing in large part to the numerous parks in the downtown area, the relatively mild climate, and the town fathers’ questionable decision to place a large homeless shelter next to the convention center and arts district. Last night, for example, Mr Y-not and I went to SLC to attend the opera and encountered several hobos, including a lady hobo(ette) who took a full five minutes to cross the street against the light.

In contrast, during my THREE days in Las Vegas, I only encountered one hobo, who earnestly asked me if I “knew about the Manhattan Project.” Come to think of it, maybe he wasn’t a hobo. He may have been a Paulbot. (He was wearing a ballcap, but I thought I spotted a gleam of tinfoil peeking out from under the rim.)

Advantage: Salt Lake City

Adult Entertainment “Professionals”

Las Vegas (and the entire state of Nevada, frankly) is known for its adult entertainment industry, second only to Washington, D.C., where the national pastime is screwing over the American People. A little known fact is that the state motto of Nevada is “We’ll DO anything, TO anything!” (No wonder Harry Reid is so at home in both places!) What you might not appreciate is just how prevalent sex industry workers are in Vegas. They are EVERYWHERE. During my first visit to Vegas, I naively asked why the couples I was seeing around town almost always consisted of a dude in t-shirt and jeans with a very tarted up young lady. Mr Y-not pointed out that the ladies in question were on the job, a thought that hadn’t occurred to me. (What can I say? I’m a nice Catholic girl.)

During our recent visit to Vegas we were staying in a very sedate timeshare just off the Strip behind to the Flamingo. (Most of the residents appeared to be just shy of their 90th birthdays.) Nevertheless, on the way back to our room after dinner the first night (a Tuesday night, btw) we passed a buff young man outside the door of one of the suites who was adjusting the belt to his SWAT uniform. Pretty sure he was NOT actually a police officer since he had no weapon… except for a near lethal dose of Axe spray on his person!

Re-enactment of the scene in the hallway of Y-not's hotel

In contrast, on a typical visit to Salt Lake City, you are not likely to encounter a worker in the sex trade. They are all at church. (I keed, I keed!)

Advantage: Las Vegas

Liquor Sales

Long-time morons might recall that I’m not from Utah. No, no, it’s true – I’m a transplant! As such, the past three and a half years have required some adjustment, particularly when it comes to maintaining the appropriate dietary habits of a True Moronette. Yes, I’m talking alcohol here.

While Utah’s liquor laws are pretty damned weird, apparently they are better than they once were. We’re “allowed” to purchase low alcohol beer at grocery stores, for example, and we no longer have to be a member of a “club” to drink in a bar type setting. On the other hand, Utahns are convinced that the mere sight of someone drawing a beer on tap would immediately render impressionable youths alcoholics, so we have something called the Zion Curtain to block such horrifying activities from view.

As an occasional drinker, the worst aspect of Utah’s liquor laws is trying to purchase specific alcoholic beverages. ALL wine is sold via state stores (because everyone knows that most alcoholics get loaded on $30 bottles of merlot), as are all spirits. This can be a real challenge for the discriminating moron if the state stores do not happen to carry your beverage of choice. For example, it took us over 18 months to get the State to special order a case of El Massaya Arak, a Lebanese spirit similar to ouzo, only to discover upon opening the case that they had instead ordered a case of red wine from a Lebanese winery called Massaya (no El). So after two years, we gave up trying to buy Arak in Utah. How the state brain boxes managed to confuse a 160 Proof colorless spirit with crappy red wine is beyond me.

In contrast, Las Vegas is Moron Heaven when it comes to alcoholic beverages. They are available everywhere at any time of day. It took us less than five minutes to find Arak in Vegas.

Two bottles of Arak that may or may not have been transported across state lines.

Advantage: Las Vegas

Passed Out Drunks

As any self-respecting moron knows, hobos can be hard to catch. Unencumbered by possessions and very street savvy, most hobos are nimble suckers, making for a frustrating hunt. Smart morons know that the best way to succeed in their efforts is to wait until later in the day when the effects of ValuRite have taken hold. A passed out hobo is much easier to skin.

Unsurprisingly, Las Vegas is a great place to find passed out drunks. Some are hobos, but others are college students or, even better, bachelorettes. During my recent visit to Vegas I encountered one such specimen in the hallway of our hotel. Said young lady was curled up on the floor outside the door where we encountered the SWAT “officer” the night before. She WAS clothed (disappointing Mr Y-not) and wearing cat ears.

Re-enactment of the after-effects of ValuRite

How does Salt Lake fare in this category? Well, despite the difficulty in purchasing rare bottles of wine or Lebanese spirits, passed out drunks are rather easy to find, most likely owing to the large hobo population. (Or perhaps because of high school students who caught sight of their neighbor pouring a Corona.)

Advantage: Tie

So as you can see, morons and moronettes, Las Vegas IS a great choice for those interested in pursuing the Moron Lifestyle. However, I think that with an influx of a few more morons and moronettes, Salt Lake City will soon equal Vegas. I hope this scientific comparison has been helpful to you as you make your travel plans.

To wrap things up, and in keeping up with the Las Vegas theme, here’s Ann Margret, Elvis’ co-star in Viva Las Vegas:

And here’s Young Elvis singing the title song from Viva Las Vegas:

Happy travels!

Close it up

March 16th Open Thread (below the Travel Thread) for Politics [Y-not]

—Open Blogger

Here's your Open Thread to discuss politics and news for those of you not interested in the travel thread.

To get you started, the latest news from Venezuela continues to be bad.

People who want food need to get marked and then stand in outrageously long lines:

More about the food shortage courtesy of Fausta's Blog.

This in NOT a demonstration, this is a line to buy food in Venezuela. The result of 15 years of Chavismo.

Finally, from the Catholic Register:

Deep economic problems and violent demonstrations in Venezuela have left Catholic charities struggling to supply food and medical supplies amid an increase in demand for services, said a top Catholic aid official.

"The situation has been getting worse over the last year, but now we're at the point where it has become very difficult for us to even find basic (food items) or to buy medications," Janeth Marquez de Soler, executive director of Caritas Venezuela, told Catholic News Service March 10.

Shortages of basic foods, rising inflation, high crime and political divisions have led to tense protests across Venezuela in the past month as opponents of President Nicolas Maduro and thousands of students have taken to the streets to demand changes. Demonstrations on several occasions turned violent, however, leaving at least 21 people dead and prompting the bishops of Caracas

I guess this is Obama's South American Spring.

Open Thread.

Close it up

Sunday Morning Book Thread 03-16-2014: The Luck of the Irish [OregonMuse]

—Open Blogger

The Moron Meet-Up In Dublin Was A Huge Success

Good morning morons and moronettes and welcome to AoSHQ's prestigious Sunday Morning Book Thread.

Green Beer, Anyone?

May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face; the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.

Tradition Irish Blessing

Faith and begorrah, tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day. With its emphasis on carousing, excessive drinking and vomiting, St. Paddy's Day is one of the three great moron-friendly holidays, the other two being the 4th of July (drinking and detonation of heavy ordinance ordnance) and Mardi Gras in Rio (drinking and scantily clad women).

So, other than downing pint after pint and throwing up on your shoes, what have the Irish ever done? Well, perhaps more than you'd think. This book, How the Irish Saved Civilization: The Untold Story of Ireland's Heroic Role From the Fall of Rome to the Rise of Medieval Europe, by Thomas Cahill, which is described as

the story of how Europe evolved from the classical age of Rome to the medieval era. Without Ireland, the transition could not have taken place. Not only did Irish monks and scribes maintain the very record of Western civilization -- copying manuscripts of Greek and Latin writers, both pagan and Christian, while libraries and learning on the continent were forever lost -- they brought their uniquely Irish world-view to the task.

There are a number of one-star reviewers who point out some historical inaccuracies, namely, that manuscript copying wasn't going on only in Ireland, but also in monasteries in Gaul and other places on the continent as well. Also, that the Irish monks got their manuscripts from the Benedictines, who deserve better than to be completely ignored.

Another, more recent, book along these same lines is The Secret Gospel of Ireland: The Untold Story of How Science and Democracy Descended From a Remarkable Form of Christianity That Developed in Ancient Ireland by James and Leo Behan. It further details the contributions to western civilization that had their origin on the Emerald Isle.

Real Books

Moronette Anna Puma sent me this series of photos of actual books. You'd think books with titles such as Another Bullshit Night in Suck City and The Jewish-Japanese Sex & Cook Book and How to Raise Wolves would be photoshopped fakes, but as you can see from the links, they're apparently real books. Many of them, anyway.

Sun. Morning "Open Before The Book Thread" Thread [OregonMuse]

—Open Blogger

Today's open thread for all non-book discussions is brought to you by Private SNAFU:

Sunday Morning Open Thread

—Andy

Another Ides of March successfully navigated. Now, on to green beer day.

Overnight Open Thread (15 Mar 2014)

—CDR M

Evidently, sin taxes should now be applied to anything that reduces tax revenues to the government. E-cigs have doubled in use this past year and analog cigarette use is on the decline. So what's a politician to do? Behold so-called Republican Chris Christie's latest budget proposal which includes jacking up the tax on e-cigs equal to real cigarettes. Now just how are they going to apply a per pack tax on e-cigs when e-cigs aren't packaged like analog cigarettes? Are they going to tax the battery? The atomizer? The nicotine juice? What if the vaper is someone who is vaping zero nicotine? Is the mere act of using an e-cig then a taxable offense? And if they tax the nicotine juice, then how about taxing the patch and gum then at the same rate?

Post Workout Beer

You know, I never had any issues with regular beer after a workout. New beer created to drink after your workout.

Top 10 Cartman Moments

I think I would've had Chickenlover up higher than 7.

Breastfeeding Discrimination

Yes, one should use manners. I'm tired of the militant (fill in the blank) assuming they are right and that there are no other views but theirs and that it justifies a verbal assault. Boobs or manners?

Once people feel they have a right to do something, it seems they look for an opportunity to be offended. While Eades may have had a legal right to walking around in a tank top breastfeeding in front of other people’s young children and teenagers, she shouldn’t have asserted it so rudely. There is a middle road — somewhere between letting your breast flop out into the open and wearing a burka — that breastfeeding moms and the public need to sort out.

I don't know if you'll ever find a middle road. Breasts attract attention whether wanted or not.

Skynet Has Gone Kinky

You know, $40,000 is a lot of real lap dances. Just sayin'. Pole dancing robots are a real thing.

Ultimate Close Call Video

The 727 That Vanished

There was another airliner that vanished in 2003 in Angola.

On May 25, 2003, shortly before sunset, Padilla boarded the company’s Boeing 727-223, tail number N844AA. With him was a helper he had recently hired, John Mikel Mutantu, from the Republic of the Congo. The two had been working with Angolan mechanics to return the 727 to flight-ready status so they could reclaim it from a business deal gone bad, but neither could fly it. Mutantu was not a pilot, and Padilla had only a private pilot’s license. A 727 ordinarily requires three trained aircrew.

According to press reports, the aircraft began taxiing with no communication between the crew and the tower; maneuvering erratically, it entered a runway without clearance. With its lights off and its transponder not transmitting, 844AA took off to the southwest, and headed out over the Atlantic Ocean. The 727 and the two men have not been seen since.

Cat Video

Tonight's ONT brought to you by sexist vintage ads:

Notice: Posted by permission of AceCorp LLC. Please e-mail overnight open thread tips to maet or CDR M. Otherwise send tips to Ace.

Close it up

Mega-Dreaming Open Thread - [Niedermeyer's Dead Horse]

—Open Blogger

The Mega Millions lottery is now up to $400 million.

If you are in one of the states that participates, are you playing? How much have you spent?

If you win, what is the first thing you would do?

The first person you would tell?

The first purchase you would make?

What dream would you make come true?

There's No Problem That Can't Be Solved Given a Sufficient Application of Wolves

—Ace

The reintroduction of wolves to Yellowstone has had a number of major positive impacts on the ecosystem. This video claims that wolves have even changed the course of the river.

Via @johnekdahl.

Saturday Car Thread 03/15/14 - [Niedermeyer's Dead Horse & Countrysquire]

—Open Blogger

Welcome to the I'm exhausted so you get the shaft edition of the Saturday Car Thread.

Countrysquire loves Whealers Dealers, the English show which has aired on Discovery’s Velocity channel for a while now. The show started as Mike Brewer buying modern classics in need of a little attention, then 6’7 mechanic Edd China doing the repair work in order to get them ready to sell. Finally, Mike would try to sell the car for a profit, finalizing the deal with “’old out your ‘and, you’ve bought a crackin’ motor!” They have done a lot of different types of cars over the years, but the premise has remained the same. In a sea of auto related shows which either have phony deadlines and drama, or spend half the time advertising some crap, this one stands out. Before you wade in, be aware that the English have some different terms for auto parts. Our door panels are there door cards. We have aluminum, they have aluminium. The chaps over at lotus-europa.com have prepared a chart to convert from English to…err…English.

Now armed with the English-to-English translator above, have a look-see:

The Amelia Island Concours d'Elegance was held, last weekend, in beautiful Amelia Island, FL. This event, which benefits Community Hospice of NE Florida, draws car lovers from around the world and the media coverage expands with each passing year.

Two best in show ribbons were awarded: The first, the Concurs d'Elegance Award went to a 1937 Horch 853 and the second, the Concours de Sport, went to a 1958 Scarab.

The weekend’s biggest sale belonged to R.M., which sold a 1937 Delahaye 135 Competition Torpedo Roadster for $6.6 million. That figure set two records: highest price paid for a Delahaye at any auction and highest price paid for a car at the Amelia auctions.

It didn't occur to me this year but, perhaps, next year, we can make a Moron meetup out of it. It would be great fun.

Update re the UAW attempts at unionizing VW Chattanooga: The workers aren't sitting still this time as management and the union collude.

Three workers at a Volkswagen plant in Chattanooga, Tenn., filed a complaint with the National Labor Relations Board Wednesday saying it must prevent the German auto company from providing any further assistance to the United Auto Workers in its efforts to organize the workers. The complaint is a reaction to the UAW's own request to the board that it order a revote of an organizing election at the Chattanooga facility that the union lost last month.

The VW workers allege that a prior "neutrality" agreement between the company and UAW regarding the election violated the National Labor Relations Act because the union gave "things of value" in exchange for the company making it easier to organize its Chattanooga workers. Essentially, the complaint argues that the union bribed the company by offering it favorable terms for an eventual contract — a situation that would benefit the union leaders and the company, but not the workers.

God Bless the workin' man.

This week's cruising tune will make you pine for those sultry Summer nights of long ago:

A little bit of scruff for the Moronettes:

And a reminder to the Morons of what real-life car elbows look like:

Ah... what the heck. Here's a bonus shot as well:

Please feel free to send any complaints or commendations to us at Twitter: Nied's Dead Horse and Countrysquire

Close it up

Saturday Yard and Garden Thread: Zombie Edition [Y-not and WeirdDave]

—Open Blogger

This thread brought to you by Be Prepared:

From your host, WeirdDave:

Y-not has been on vacation this week, so the bulk of the gardening thread falls to me. She has promised to contribute some photos, perhaps her standing in front of the world’s largest ball of kittens, or maybe this place:

This is my favorite cheese shop, Ehlenbach’s, in DeForest, Wi. The town’s off to the left here, but unfortunately you can’t see DeForest for the trees.

Accordingly, I’m going to have to play it pretty straight this week. There will be no jokes, puns or satire anywhere in this post. Let’s start off with the news. It seems a farmer won the mega millions this week. When asked by his local news station what he planned to do with the money, he said he’d probably just keep farming until it’s all gone, and really, who can blame him? The only other thing he could do with money like that is the traditional, namely buying slum housing and then making the poor people who live there beg to be allowed to stay instead of being thrown out on a cold winter night. Jolly fun that, but not practical in his area of limited population, where strong Christian values and traditions of charity infest the towns.

So, we’re now into the second half of March. It’s planting season, or it should be. Somewhere in this country, I’m sure it is, but here in Maryland we’re expecting snow again this weekend, and parts north just got upward of two feet. Globull warming, dude! I am planning on starting tomato seeds this weekend in an indoor plastic greenhouse. I should have nice sized plants when they go out in 6 weeks or so. Who has what started already?

Here’s a video on square foot gardening. I used this method years ago and think I’m going to go back to it at least in part this year. I’m ditching the plans for digging out the whole garden and installing subsurface irrigation, at least for this year. No time or money at the moment. Throwing up a couple of 4 X 4 raised beds as shown in the video is something I can easily do over the next few weeks:

Here’s a story from a couple of years ago that I’m glad didn’t happen last week or I would suspect that someone had read my “bodies as fertilizer” column and taken it seriously: Teen Gets 25 Years for Shovel Murder. (Note: If the link doesn't work for you, try entering the url into your browser: http://voices.washingtonpost.com/crime-scene/montgomery/teen-gets-25-years-for-shovel.html)

Apparently moron Rex Harrison’s Hat (not to be confused with sock champion moron The Fill-In-The- Blank Hat) thinks that I have no ideas for this thread and sit around desperately hoping for someone to do my job for me. Wait. That actually describes me perfectly. *AHEM* Moron poster Rex Harrison’s Hat shared this link with me VIA Twitter this week about a cool new way to start some types of vegetables. I like it because I’m lazy as.... something or other, whatever, make up your own simile, who cares?

Here’s a picture:

It’s almost impossible to be lazier than this, but I bet it works well. Here’s the link to the face book post about it. Great idea.

Speaking of Facebook, one of my friends posted this picture of an herb garden she is pestering her husband to make.

She wants to make hers one step taller because she’s a lady who’s sure that her plants will grow bold if she builds them a stairway of seven. Pretty neat for small spaces.

Finally, by popular demand, heirloom tomatoes. Several people have requested that we talk about heirlooms, so we will. Here’s what Wiki says:

An heirloom tomato (also called heritage tomato in the UK) is an open-pollinated (non-hybrid) heirloom cultivar of tomato. Heirloom tomatoes have become increasingly popular and more readily available in recent years. According to tomato experts Craig LeHoullier and Carolyn Male, heirloom tomatoes can be classified into four categories: family heirlooms, commercial heirlooms, mystery heirlooms, and created heirlooms. They are grown for a variety of reasons, such as historical interest, access to wider varieties, and by people who wish to save seeds from year to year, as well as for their taste, which is widely perceived to be better than modern tomatoes.

I don’t really know much about heirlooms, despite the fact that I seem to grow some each year (as I mentioned before, I’m in my third year of growing tomatoes seeded off of a Campari tomato that sprouted, that apparently makes what I’m growing an heirloom), but I’m sure that some of you morons will be glad to tell us all about them in the comments. And that’s it. I’ll try to have something silly and stupid to say next week.

And now from your co-hostess, Y-not:

Last weekend Mr Y-not and I did a lot of yard work (by our standards, anyway), getting the beds ready for planting. The soil mix of garden soil, vermiculite, and peat that we used last year had settled a bit, so we added some more. It was a beautiful day for working in the yard:

Now last year when I put the beds “to bed” for the winter, I did not pull out all of the plants. I left the herbs and a couple of flowering plants, just to see if they’d over-winter. (I had intended to cover them with leaf litter, but our lawn guys took them all away before I’d had a chance to tell them of my plan.) In any event, it turns out quite a few survived the winter, including both types of thyme, savory, culinary sage, and oregano. We even have some small lettuces left, which either survived somehow or perhaps they self-sowed:

The Plan was to go ahead and plant seeds of cold-hardy plants last weekend – I was thinking of beets, snap peas, lettuce, spinach – but I ran out of steam. Good thing, too, because this happened a couple of days later:

So like any hard-core gardeners we jumped into the car and headed down to Las Vegas. Much nicer weather and the plants were NOT covered in snow!

(More about the botanical gardens I visited in next week’s gardening thread.)

To wrap things up, here’s your Blog of the Week: Natural Gardening. The blogger, Lisa, describes herself as an educator in Clemson, South Carolina. (My guess is she’s either a professor or an extension person given the number of powerpoint presentations she has on her blog.) Anyway, she calls herself a “wildlife gardener.” Her blog is filled with a lot of nice ideas for naturalizing your garden. Check it out!

Close it up

Open Thread for Politics and News [Y-not]

—Open Blogger

Here's an open thread for those of you who don't want to talk about gardening.

It's looking like officials in Malaysia are now saying that the Malaysian Airlines jet was hi-jacked:

KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia (AP) -- The Malaysian jetliner missing for more than a week was deliberately diverted and continued flying for more than six hours after severing contact with the ground, meaning it could have gone as far northwest as Kazakhstan or into the Indian Ocean's southern reaches, Malaysia's leader said Saturday.

Prime Minister Najib Razak's statement confirmed days of mounting speculation that the disappearance of Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 to Beijing was not accidental. It also refocused the investigation into the flight's 12-person crew and 227 passengers, and underlined the complicated task for searchers who already have been scouring vast areas of ocean.

Hat tip: Twitchy, where I go for most of my "I need to catch up on what's happening" needs.

AOSHQ Food Pyramid (CBD)

—Open Blogger

The current food pyramid is nothing of a sort. It is an unusable, overly complex process called ChooseMyPlate.

I defy anyone to glean any useful (or even correct) information in simple form from this website. Anyone who does will win an AOSHQ Platinum membership (without ampersand capability).

[addendum] The AOSHQ Pyramid is a work in progress, so any advice would be appreciated.

Early Morning Open Thread - [Niedermeyer's Dead Horse]

—Open Blogger

Here. Have some pancakes and bacon.

It's good for you.

Overnight Open Thread (3-14-2014) - [Niedermeyer's Bossy Horse]

—Open Blogger

Hello my pretties. It’s a beautiful Winter night in NE Florida. The air has just a slight chill, and I’m lounging about in my pajamas (as all good bloggers are known to do), sipping on a glass of screw top wine. And… I’m bored and I’m feeling bossy. That means you will suffer through this ONT and like it because I’m behind the wheel of this ship for the moment and the power is surging through my veins. I am invincible! Bwaaahahahahaha!

Anita Hill has reared her head yet again. Last night she appeared on The Daily Show where she essentially claimed to have single-handedly made sexual harassment a bad thing as if, silly as it sounds, we all thought it was a good thing before she showed up on the scene. Anyway, she is now the subject of a documentary, 'Anita'.

ANITA tells the story about a young, brilliant African American Anita Hill who accuses the Supreme Court nominee Clarence Thomas of unwanted sexual advances during explosive Senate Hearings in 1991 and ignites a political firestorm about sexual harassment, race, power and politics that resonates 20 years later today. ANITA is a dramatic look at the consequences to a private citizen acting out of a civic duty to 'speak truth to power.' For the first time on film Anita Hill speaks about her experience in the Senate Hearings, her impact on issues of sexual harassment, workplace rights for women and men, social justice and equality. The film is about the empowerment of girls and women, and men, through the extraordinary story of Anita Hill.

It will be released March 21.

Last night I added a link in the sidebar to one of Chuck Lorre’s more laughable vanity cards but I’m linking it here as well because, as I told you…. I am in charge. The archive contains more than 400 such vanity cards and if you search for something like oh, say, “Fox News”, you will find that Mr. Lorre is no fan (see #447) (h/t Weirddave). This, however, might be my favorite, and dates back to February 2009 when the world was on the brink of rapture:

CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #239

TO DO LIST

Live to see a highly educated, deeply thoughtful, articulate, cool, biracial President who is not overly crippled by childhood wounds and capable, in no particular order, of freeing the nation of its oil dependence, restoring its international standing, creating universal health care, resurrecting the economy, ending two wars, rebuilding the public education system, finally bringing about an end to the mindlessness of racism, encouraging science and technology, firmly addressing environmental issues and global warming, and uniting the nation - and the world - in a giant cultural, tipping point leap forward.

Meet super-intelligent aliens who disarm the entire planet, cure every disease and take us all for rides across the galaxy.

Play a round of par golf.

Trade solos with Eric Clapton.

Win an Emmy.

Get married, stay married.

One down, five to go.

How's that working out for ya. Chuck?

After tweeting the above link, one of the Morons Morons dropped this preposterous little piece in my lap. It dates all the way back to June 2008 and it so cringe-worthy that I couldn’t even click on page two. This might be known to some of you, but it was new to me and I am in awe.

Behold, the most absurd piece of journalism you’ll read all day:

I find I'm having this discussion, this weird little debate, more and more, with colleagues, with readers, with liberals and moderates and miserable, deeply depressed Republicans and spiritually amped persons of all shapes and stripes and I'm having it in particular with those who seem confused, angry, unsure, thoroughly nonplussed, as they all ask me the same thing: What the hell's the big deal about Obama?

I, of course, have an answer. Sort of.

Warning: If you are a rigid pragmatist/literalist, itchingly evangelical, a scowler, a doubter, a burned-out former '60s radical with no hope left, or are otherwise unable or unwilling to parse alternative New Age speak, click away right now, because you ain't gonna like this one little bit.

Ready? It goes likes this:

Barack Obama isn't really one of us. Not in the normal way, anyway.

You really have to read it to grasp what it is that we were truly up against in 2008. Simply delusional.

In the little bastards department, comes this story out of Utah: Boy calls 911 After Mom Says No to Oreos

HONEYVILLE, UT (KSTU) - A 7-year-old boy is gaining attention after placing a misleading 911 call.

Officers in Honeyville, Utah, said the young boy called 911 claiming that his mom had thrown a knife at him. When deputies responded to the home, they found out his story wasn't exactly true.

The 7-year-old eventually came clean to officers, telling them he lied to the 911 dispatcher because his mom wouldn't give him more Oreo cookies.

Officers said they had a long talk with the boy about what 911 is for, and that frivolous use of 911 can result in criminal charges.

Officials said the boy is too young to be arrested

Would it be too harsh to make the little poop eat Oreos until he puked?

Here’s a small break from your suffering. I’m bossy, not cruel.

What follows is one of the most amazing nature videos I’ve ever seen. In it, a dolphin swims to divers and, essentially, asks for help. Just incredible.

When I said that you will suffer through this ONT, I meant it. Hence, the world’s worst family photo:

@DanRiehl have you seen the creepiest family photo possibly ever pic.twitter.com/mXcc53VoIE

— GOP Fashionista (@gopfashionista) March 14, 2014

Raise your hand if you think those kids will be scarred for life.

*shiver*

Quiznos has filed for bankruptcy protection. It seems to me that the market is pretty well saturated with sub shops and new companies are popping up on a regular basis. They never stood out from the pack: Their food wasn’t a standout. Their pricing wasn’t a standout. And, as a marketeer, I feel quite comfortable in pointing out that when George M. Cohan said "I don't care what you say about me, as long as you say something about me, and as long as you spell my name right.” he most certainly didn’t have this little bit of marketing genius in mind:

It doesn’t matter that you call them “Spongemonkeys”, they look like rats. And they are singing about how much they like your subs. BTW, when you go to You Tube and type in “Quiznos” you’re given a couple of options, one of which is “Rat Commercial”.

That ain’t good.

Although football season is over, things are a’movin’ and a’shakin’ in the league. Eric Decker goes to the Jets. Steve Smith has reached a deal with the Ravens. Darren Sproles signed with Philly. Follow the latest on twitter at NFL on ESPN ESPN and NFL.

And, speaking of football, CDR M sends along this little delight. Run, doggeh, run!

Tonight's ONT brought to you by that other great air mystery:

Close it up

Pre-ONT ONT thread - [NDH]

—Open Blogger

I'm having tech issues on my end. I apologize.

Here's a piece of pie until I can get it up and running.

[Update - Andy] Merging my content in tbe new non-ONT ONT

Model Sues Playboy After ‘Golf Tee In Butt’ Stunt Goes Terribly Wrong

This is the most AoSHQ ONT-compliant piece ever

A model has filed suit against Playboy Enterprises and the co-host of a Playboy morning show after a 2012 stunt that involved sticking a golf tee in her butt (shockingly) didn’t go according to plan.

Liz Dickson took a golf club to the buttocks when host Kevin Klein stuck a ball on the tee firmly lodged between Dickson’s cheeks and took an errant swing. Now she’s alleging battery and negligence (and seeking $500,000 and punitive damage).

Hawt!

What's This Pi Day BS?

Pi day? No, no, no.

It's Steak and BJ Day.

Emergency ONT

—Andy

There's a record at stake here, so an ONT must go up. Even one as crappy as this.

Open Thread

—rdbrewer

Best day evah.

Bitch, open the door.

The Monkees, "Valleri":

Thanks to @JamesRosenFNC for that. Here's The Monkees, "I'm Not Your Steppin' Stone":

Close it up

Is This Something? / Lurkers Delurk Thread

—Ace

A combination thread: A blow-off thread for chatter, and an opportunity for lurking readers to delurk as commenters in a thread about nothing much at all.

Jason Sudeikis is being eyed to play one Irwin M. Fletcher (he has a byline called "Jane Doe," you know) in a Fletch reboot to be called Fletch Won.

Okay, Jason Sudeikis as done great work as a supporting actor. Can he lead? I don't know. Apparently We're the Millers made $270 million but I didn't see it. I guess people think he can lead.

As far as Fletch, I could see him in the role.

I'm a big fan of the Fletch film. Have you ever read the books?

Fletch Won is an origin story, described as a gritty action comedy with heart and more tonally in line with McDonald's novels than the Chase movies.

Um... I'm not sure that's a good idea. I have to admit I saw the movie before I read the books (and I only read a few). The first thing you see or read is generally the thing you like more, because that formed your first impressions; the second thing you see or read (even if it was the first thing in actual publication) seems "off," seems to be doing it all wrong.

I understand that bias and it's unfair to judge the Fletch books based on my first impressions of the Fletch character from the movie.* That said: The books seemed "off" and seemed to be doing it all wrong.

They weren't comedies. The book did include the famous "Will you kill me?"/"Sure" exchange (in fact, I think it was printed on the cover of the book), but otherwise, it was a fairly straight detective story.

The Wackiness Quotient was negligible. There was no Underhill Account to charge a steak sandwich to (and also a steak sandwich). Fletch did in fact give hard-to-remember pseudonyms, but I think they were hard-to-remember because they were so bland, rather than so strange (stuff like "John Forrest," not "John Cock-Toast-Uln.")

Fletch was not a double-talking hustler of the Rogue Slacker Who Skates By On Moxie and Charm sort, but instead a fairly standard ex-military tough-guy detective type. He served in Vietnam, actually.

It's hard to imagine the Fletch we know from the movies serving in Vietnam.

I've got nothing against the ex-military tough-guy detective type. I like that type a lot. I like Jack Reacher. I love Phillip Marlowe (not ex-military, but certainly tough).

But most of what made Fletch different from the regular shamus really comes from the movie (and Chase's rewrites/suggestions, probably), not from the novel itself. (Note: I think it's possible, or even likely, that after the Fletch film came out, the later Fletch novels emphasized the comedic side of the character, just like the comics' version of Tony Stark became a lot more like RDJr.'s film portrayal. But the first book, Fletch, wasn't a comedy.)

So, I assume when they claim that the movies will be more in the spirit of the books, they are doing what they do an awful lot in Hollywood, which is Lying About Everything for No Reason. And being Hollywood, they have that eternal chip on their shoulders that they're working in a second-rate medium, so whenever they want to claim they're doing serious, important work, they claim they're going back to the books for inspiration, because, you know, paperback detective novels are so elevated a form.

If they were doing the movie like the books, they wouldn't hire Jason Sudeikis.

They'd hire Jason Statham.

Seriously: Fletch is going to be gritty? How do you do a gritty urban crime drama in a world in which "Doctor Rosenpenis" is accepted as a plausible name?

Get out of town.

* Oh, and this is a silly thing, but the Fletch of the novels is blond.

See? It's completely unfair to the books for me to judge them by such absurd criteria -- Fletch is NOT blond!!!! -- but I did and I do.