Feel the matress tense beneath me
Like the muscle of nonsleepy
Feathers flexing will defeat me
And it vexes me completely
And the hexes heat covertly
Like a slow low-flying turkey
Like a Texan drying jerky
But his meaty mitts can't hurt me
With my steely will compounded
In a mighty mound that's hounded
By the snap my steel string sounded
Just before your snores unwound it
And in store are dreams so daring
That the night can't stop from staring
I'll swim sweetly as a herring
Through the ether, not despairing
Go to sleep, you stunning sky
Gently creep cunning by
A quiet hum is amplified
By your thumb
That you suck dry
Hundred raging waters snare the lonely sigh
Hold your breath and clasp at Cassiopiea
Hundred raging waters snare the lonely sigh
Hold your breath and clasp at Cassiopiea
Cassiopiea, Cassiopiea
We should shine a light on
A light on
And the book of right-on is right on
It was right on
We should shine a light on
A light on
And the book of right-on is right on
It was right on
I killed my dinner with karate
Kick 'em in the face, taste the body
Shallow work is the work that I do
Do you want to sit at my table
My fighting fame is fabled
And fortune finds me fit and able
And you do say, oh
That you do pray, oh oh
And you say
That you're okay
And do you want to run with my pack
And do you want to ride on my back
Pray that what you lack does not distract
And even when you ruin through my mind
Something else is in front, you're behind
And I don't have to remind you
To stick with your kind
And you do say, oh oh
That you do pray, oh oh
And you say
That you're okay
And even when you touch my face
You know your place
And even when you touch my face
You know your place
And we should shine a light on
A light on
And the book of right-on is right on
It was right on
And we should shine a light on
A light on
And the book of right-on is right on
If you want to come on down
Down with your bones so white
Watch while the freight trains pound
Into the wild, wild night
How I would love to gnaw
To gnaw on your bones so white
And watch as the freight trains paw
Paw at the wild, wild night
All these ghost towns
Wreathed in old loam
Assateague knee-deep in seafoam
Ho Swansea
Buttonwillow
Lagunitas
Ho Calico
And all these beastly bungalows
Stare, distend, like endless toads
Endlessly hop down the road
Borne by wind, we southward blow
And yonder, wild and blue
The wild blue yonder looms
'Till we are wracked with rheum
By roads, by songs entombed
And all we want to do
Is chew, and chew, and chew
Dear one, drive on
When all we want to do
Is chew, and chew, and chew
And if you want to come on down
Down with your bones so white
Watch while the freight trains pound
Into the wild, wild night
How I would love to gnaw
To gnaw on your bones so white
And watch as the freight trains paw
Paw at the wild, wild night
Paw at the wild, wild night
I slept all day
Awoke with distaste
And I railed
And I raved
That the difference between
The sprout and the bean
It is a golden ring
It is a twisted string
And you can ask the counsellor
And you can ask the king
And I'll say the same thing
And it's a funny thing
Should we go outside
Should we go outside
Should we break some bread
Are you interested
And as I said
I slept as though dead
Dreaming seamless dreams
Of lead
When you go away
I am big-boned and fey
In the dust of the day
In the dirt of the day
And Danger! Danger!
Drawing near them was a white coat
And Danger! Danger!
Drawing near them was a broad boat
And the water! Water!
Running clear beneath a white throat
And the hollow chatter of the talking of the Tadpoles
Who know the outside
Should we go outside
Should we break some bread
Sawdust And Diamonds
From the top of the flight
Of the wide, white stairs
Through the rest of my life
Do you wait for me there?
There's a bell in my ears
There's a wide white roar
Drop a bell down the stairs
Hear it fall forevermore
Drop a bell off of the dock
Blot it out in the sea
Drowning mute as a rock;
Sounding mutiny
There's a light in the wings
Hits this system of strings
From the side while they swing;
See the wires, the wires, the wires
And the articulation
In our elbows and knees
Makes us buckle as we couple in endless increase
As the audience admires
And the little white dove
Made with love, made with love:
Made with glue, and a glove, and some pliers
Swings a low sickle arc
From it's perch in the dark
Settle down
Settle down my desire
And the moment I slept I was swept up in a terrible tremor
Though no longer bereft, how I shook and I couldn't remember
Then the furthermost shake drove a murthering stake in
And cleft me right down through my center
And I shouldn't say so, but I know that it was then, or never
Push me back into a tree
Bind my buttons with salt
Fill my long ears with bees
Praying: please, please, please,
Love, you ought not!
No you ought not!
Then the system of strings tugs on the tip of my wings
(cut from cardboard and old magazines)
Makes me warble and rise like a sparrow
And in the place where I stood, there is a circle of wood
A cord or two, which you chop and you stack in your barrow
It is terribly good to carry water and chop wood
Streaked with soot, heavy booted and wild-eyed;
As I crash through the rafters
And the ropes and pulleys trail after
And the holiest belfry burns sky-high
Then the slow lip of fire moves across the prairie with precision
While, somewhere, with your pliers and glue you make your first incision
And in a moment of almost-unbearable vision
Doubled over with the hunger of lions
'Hold me close', cooed the dove
Who was stuffed, now, with sawdust and diamonds
I wanted to say: why the long face?
Sparrow, perch and play songs of long face
Burro, buck and bray songs of long face!
Sing: I will swallow your sadness and eat your cold clay
Just to lift your long face
And though it may be madness, I will take to the grave
Your precious longface
And though our bones they may break, and our souls separate
- why the long face?
And though our bodies recoil from the grip of the soil
- why the long face?
In the trough of the waves
Which are pawing like dogs
Pitch we, pale-faced and grave,
As I write in my log
Then I hear a noise from the hull
Seven days out to sea
And it is the damnable bell!
And it tolls - well, I believe, that it tolls - for me!
It tolls for me!
Though my wrists and my waist seemed so easy to break
Still, my dear, I would have walked you to the very edge of the water
And they will recognise all the lines of your face
In the face of the daughter of the daughter of my daughter
Darling, we will be fine, but what was yours and mine
Appears to be a sandcastle that the gibbering wave takes
But if it's all just the same, then will you say my name:
Say my name in the morning, so I know when the wave breaks?
I wasn't born of a whistle or milked from a thistle at twilight
No, I was all horns and thorns, sprung out fully formed, knock-kneed and upright
So: enough of this terror
We deserve to know light
And grow evermore lighter and lighter
You would have seen me through
But I could not undo that desire
Oh-oh, oh-oh-oh desire
Oh-oh, oh-oh-oh desire
Oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh desire
From the top of the flight
Of the wide, white stairs
Through the rest of my life
We speak in the store
I'm a sensitive bore
You seem markedly more
And I'm oozing suprise
But it's late in the day
And you're well on your way
What was golden went gray
And I'm suddenly shy
And the gathering floozies
Afford to be choosy
And all sneezing darkly
In the dimming divide
And I have read the right book
To interpret your look
You were knocking me down
With the palm of your eye
This was unlike the story
It was written to be
I was riding it's back
When it used to ride me
And we were galloping manic
To the mouth of the source
We were swallowing panic
In the face of it's force
And I am blue
I am blue and unwell
Made me bolt like a horse
Now it's done
Watch it go
You've changed some
Water runs from the snow
Am I so dear
Do I run rare
You've changed some
Peach, plum, pear
And there was a booming above you
That night, black airplanes flew over the sea
And they were lowing and shifting like
Beached whales
Shelled snails
As you strained and you squinted to see
The retreat of their hairless and blind cavalry
You froze in your sand shoal
Prayed for your poor soul
Sky was a bread roll, soaking in a milk-bowl
And when the bread broke, fell in bricks of wet smoke
My sleeping heart woke, and my waking heart spoke
Then there was a silence you took to mean something:
Mean, run, sing
For alive you will evermore be
And the plague of the greasy black engines a-skulkin'
Has gone east
While you're left to explain them to me
Released from their hairless and blind cavalry
With your hands in your pockets, stubbily running
To where I'm unfresh, undressed and yawning
Well, what is this craziness? This crazy talking?
You caught some small death when you were sleepwalking
It was a dark dream, darlin', it's over
The firebreather is beneath the clover
Beneath his breathing there is cold clay, forever
A toothless hound-dog choking on a feather
But I took my fishingpole (fearing your fever)
Down to the swimminghole, where there grows bitter herb
That blooms but one day a year by the riverside - I'd bring it here:
Apply it gently
To the love you've lent me
While the river was twisting and braiding, the bait bobbed
And the string sobbed, as it cut through the hustling breeze
And I watched how the water was kneading so neatly
Gone treacly
Nearly slowed to a stop in this heat
Frenzy coiling flush along the muscles beneath
Press on me: we are restless things
Webs of seaweed are swaddling
You call upon the dusk
Of the musk of a squid
Shot full of ink, until you sink into your crib
Rowing along, among the reeds, among the rushes
I heard your song, before my heart had time to hush it!
Smell of a stone fruit being cut and being opened
Smell of a low and of a lazy cinder smoking
And when the fire moves away
Fire moves away, son
Why would you say
I was the last one?
Scrape your knee; it is only skin
Makes the sound of violins
When you cut my hair, and leave the birds the trimmings
I am the happiest woman among all women
And the shallow
Water
Stretches as far as I can see
Knee-deep, trudging along
A seagull weeps; "so long"
I'm humming a threshing song
Until the night is over
Hold on!
Hold on!
Hold your horses back from the fickle dawn
I have got some business out at the edge of town
Candy weighing both of my pockets down
'Til I can hardly stay afloat, from the weight of them
(And knowing how the common-folk condemn
What it is I do, to you, to keep you warm
Being a woman, being a woman)
But always up the mountainside you're clambering
Groping blindly, hungry for anything:
Picking through your pocket linings - well, what is this?
Scrap of sassafras, eh sisyphus?
I see the blossoms broke and wet after the rain
Little sister, he will be back again
I have washed a thousand spiders down the drain
Spiders ghosts hang soaked and dangelin'
Silently from all the blooming cherry trees
In tiny nooses, safe from everyone
Nothing but a nuisance; gone now, dead and done
Be a woman, be a woman!
Though we felt the spray of the waves
We decided to stay till the tide rose too far
We weren't afraid, cause we know what you are
And you know that we know what you are
Awful atoll
O, incalculable indiscreetness and sorrow!
Bawl, bellow:
Sibyl sea-cow, all done up in a bow
Toddle and roll;
Teeth an impalpable bit of leather
While yarrow, heather and hollyhock
Awkwardly molt along the shore
Are you mine?
My heart?
Mine anymore?
Stay with me for awhile
That's an awfully real gun
I know life will lay you down
As the lightning has lately done
Failing this, failing this,
Follow me, my sweetest friend
To see what you anointed in pointing your gun there
Lay it down! Nice and slow!
There is nowhere to go, save up
Up where the light, undiluted, is weaving in a drunk dream
At the sight of my baby, out back:
Back on the patio watching the bats bring night in
While, elsewhere, estuaries of wax-white
Wend, endlessly, towards seashores unmapped
Last week our picture window produced a half-word
Heavy and hollow, hit by a brown bird
We stood and watched her gape like a rattlesnake
And pant and labour over every intake
I said a sort of prayer for some sort of rare grace
Then thought I ought to take her to a higher place
Said: "dog nor vulture nor cat shall toy with you
And though you die, bird, you will have a fine view"
Then in my hot hand
She slumped her sick weight
We tramped through the poison oak
Heartbroken in her wake
The dogs were snapping
So you cuffed their collars
While I climbed the tree-house
Then how I hollered!
Cause she'd lain, as still as a stone, in my palm, for a lifetime or two
Then, saw the treetops, cocked her head and up and flew
(While, back in the world that moves, often
According to the hoarding of these clues
Dogs still run roughly around
Little tufts of finch-down)
The cities we passed were a flickering wasteland
But his hand in my hand made them hale and harmless
While down in the lowlands the crops are all coming;
We have everything
Life is thundering blissful towards death
In a stampede of his fumbling green gentleness
You stopped by, I was all alive
In my doorway, we shucked and jived
And when you wept, I was gone:
See, I got gone when I got wise
But I can't with certainty say we survived
Then down, and down
And down, and down
And down, and deeper
Stoke without sound
The blameless flames
You endless sleeper
Through fire below, and fire above, and fire within
Sleeped through the things that couldn't have been if you hadn't have been
And when the fire moves away
Fire moves away, son
Why would you say
I was the last one?
All my bones they are gone, gone, gone
Take my bones, I don't need none
Cold, cold cupboard, lord, nothing to chew on!
Suck all day on a cherry stone
Dig a little hole, not three inches round
Spit your pit in the hole in the ground
Weep upon the spot for the starving of me!
Till up grow a fine young cherry tree
Well when the bough breaks, what'll you make for me?
A little willow cabin to rest on your knee
What'll I do with a trinket such as this?
Think of your woman, who's gone to the west
But I'm starving and freezing in my measly old bed!
Then I'll crawl across the salt flats to stroke your sweet head
Come across the desert with no shoes on!
I love you truly, or I love no-one
Fire
Moves
Away
Fire moves away, son
Why would you say
I was the last one?
Clear the room! There's a fire, a fire, a fire
Get going, and I'm going to be right behind you
And if the love of a woman or two, dear,
Couldn't move you to such heights, then all I can do
Monkey And Bear
Down in the green hay
Where monkey and bear usually lay
They woke from a stable-boy's cry
He said; someone come quick!
The horses got loose, got grass-sick!
They'll founder! Fain, they'll die
What is now known by the sorrel and the roan?
By the chestnut, and the bay, and the gelding grey?
It is: stay by the gate you are given
And remain in your place, for your season
And had the overfed dead but listened
To that high-fence, horse-sense, wisdom...
Did you hear that, Bear? Said monkey
We'll get out of here, fair and square
They've left the gate open wide!
My bride
Here is my hand, where is your paw?
Try and understand my plan, Ursala
My heart is a furnace
Full of love that's just, and earnest
Now; you know that we must unlearn this
Allegiance to a life of service
And no longer answer to that heartless
Hay-monger, nor be his accomplice
(that charlatan, with artless hustling!)
But; Ursala, we've got to eat something
And earn our keep, while still within
The borders of the land that man has girded
(all double-bolted and tight-fisted!)
Until we reach the open country
A-steeped in milk and honey
Will you keep your fancy clothes on, for me?
Can you bear a little longer to wear that leash?
My love, I swear by the air I breathe:
Sooner or later, you'll bare your teeth
But for now, just dance, darling
C'mon, will you dance, my darling?
Darling, there's a place for us
Can we go, before I turn to dust?
Oh my darling, there's a place for us
Oh darling
C'mon will you dance, my darling?
Oh, the hills are groaning with excess
Like a table ceaselessly being set
Oh my darling, we will get there yet
They trooped past the guards,
Past the coops, and the fields, and the farmyards
All night, till finally:
The space they gained grew
Much farther than the stone that bear threw
To mark where they'd stop for tea
But walk a little faster
And don't look backwards
Your feast is to the East, which lies a little past the pasture
When the blackbirds hear tea whistling, they rise and clap
And their applause caws the kettle black
And we can't have none of that!
Move along, Bear; there, there; that's that
Though cast in plaster
Our Ursala's heart beat faster
Than monkey's ever will
But still;
They have got to pay the bills
Hadn't they?
That is what the monkey'd say
So, with the courage of a clown, or a cur
Or a kite, jerking tight at it's tether
In her dun-brown gown of fur
And her jerkin' of swansdown and leather
Bear would sway on her hind legs;
The organ would grind dregs of song, for the pleasure
Of the children, who'd shriek
Throwing coins at her feet
Then recoiling in terror
Sing, dance, darling
C'mon, will you dance, my darling?
Oh darling, there's a place for us
Can we go, before I turn to dust?
Oh my darling, there's a place for us
Oh darling
C'mon, will you dance, my darling?
You keep your eyes fixed on the highest hill
Where you'll ever-after eat your fill
Oh my darling, dear, mine
If you dance
Dance, darling, and I love you still
Deep in the night
Shone a weak and miserly light
Where the monkey shouldered his lamp
Someone had told him
The bear had been wandering
A fair piece away from where they were camped
Someone had told him
The bear'd been sneaking away
To the seaside caverns, to bathe
And the thought troubled the monkey
For he was afraid of spelunking down in those caves
Also afraid what the village people would say
If they saw the bear in that state;
Lolling and splashing obscenely
Well, it seemed irrational, really; washing that face
Washing that matted and flea-bit pelt
In some sea-spit-shine, old kelp dripping with brine
But monkey just laughed, and he muttered;
When she comes back, Ursala will be bursting with pride
Till I jump up!
Saying: you've been rolling in muck!
Saying: you smell of garbage and grime!
But far out
Far out
By now
By now
Far out, by now, Bear ploughed
'Cause she would not drown:
First the outside-legs of the bear
Up and fell down, in the water, like knobby garters
Then the outside-arms of the bear
Fell off, as easy as if sloughed from boiled tomatoes
Low'red in a genteel curtsy
Bear she'd the mantle of her diluvian shoulders;
And, with a sigh,
She allowed the burden of belly to drop like an apron full of boulders
If you could hold up her threadbare
Coat to the light where it's worn translucent in places
You'd see spots where
Almost every night of the year Bear had been mending suspending that baseness
Now her coat drags through the water
Bagging, with a life's-worth of hunger, limitless minnows;
In the magnetic embrace
Balletic and glacial of Bear's insatiable shadow;
Left there!
Left there!
When Bear left Bear
Left there!
Left there!
When Bear stepped clear of Bear
Oh, where is your inflammatory writ
Your text that would incite a light, "Be lit"
Our music deserving devotion unswerving
Cry "Do I deserve her?" with unflagging fervor
Well, no you do not, if you cannot get over it
But what's it mean when suddenly we're spent, tell me true
Ambition came and reared it's head, and went far from you
Even mollusks have weddings, though solemn and leaden
But you dirge for the dead, take no jam on your bread
Just a supper of salt and a waltz through your empty bed
And all at once it came to me
And I wrote and hunched 'till four-thirty
But that vestal light
It burns out with the night
In spite of all the time that we spend on it
On one bedraggled ghost of a sonnet
While outside, the wild boars root
Without bending a bough underfoot
Oh it breaks my heart
I don't know how they do it
So don't ask me
And as for my inflammatory writ
Well, I wrote it an' I was not inflamed one bit
Advice from the master derailed that disaster
He said "Hand that pen over to me, poetaster!"
While across the great plains, keening lovely and awful
Ululate the last Great American Novels
An unlawful lot, left to stutter and freeze, floodlit
Emily
The meadowlark and the chim-choo-ree and the sparrow
Set to the sky in a flying spree, for the sport over the pharaoh
A little while later the Pharisees dragged comb through the meadow
Do you remember what they called up to you and me, in our window?
There is a rusty light on the pines tonight
Sun pouring wine, lord, or marrow
Down into the bones of the birches
And the spires of the churches
Jutting out from the shadows
The yoke, and the axe, and the old smokestacks and the bale and the barrow
And everything sloped like it was dragged from a rope
In the mouth of the south below
We've seen those mountains kneeling, felten and grey
We thought our very hearts would up and melt away
From that snow in the night time
Just going
And going
And the stirring of wind chimes
In the morning
In the morning
Helps me find my way back in
From the place where I have been
And, Emily - I saw you last night by the river
I dreamed you were skipping little stones across the surface of the water
Frowning at the angle where they were lost, and slipped under forever,
In a mud-cloud, mica-spangled, like the sky'd been breathing on a mirror
Anyhow - I sat by your side, by the water
You taught me the names of the stars overhead that I wrote down in my ledger
Though all I knew of the rote universe were those pleiades loosed in december
I promised you I‘d set them to verse so I'd always remember
That the meteorite is a source of the light
And the meteor's just what we see
And the meteoroid is a stone that's devoid of the fire that propelled it to thee
And the meteorite's just what causes the light
And the meteor's how it's perceived
And the meteoroid's a bone thrown from the void that lies quiet in offering to thee
You came and lay a cold compress upon the mess I'm in
Threw the window wide and cried; Amen! Amen! Amen!
The whole world - stopped - to hear you hollering
You looked down and saw now what was happening
The lines are fadin' in my kingdom
Though I have never known the way to border 'em in
So the muddy mouths of baboons and sows and the grouse and the horse and the hen
Grope at the gate of the looming lake that was once a tidy pen
And the mail is late and the great estates are not lit from within
The talk in town's becoming downright sickening
In due time we will see the far butte lit by a flare
I've seen your bravery, and I will follow you there
And row through the night time
Gone healthy
Gone healthy all of a sudden
In search of the midwife
Who could help me
Who could help me
Help me find my way back in
There are worries where I've been
Say, say, say in the lee of the bay; don't be bothered
Leave your troubles here where the tugboats shear the water from the water
Flanked by furrows, curling back, like a match held up to a newspaper
Emily, they'll follow your lead by the letter
And I make this claim, and I'm not ashamed to say I know you better
What they've seen is just a beam of your sun that banishes winter
Let us go! Though we know it's a hopeless endeavor
The ties that bind, they are barbed and spined and hold us close forever
Though there is nothing would help me come to grips with a sky that is gaping and yawning
There is a song I woke with on my lips as you sailed your great ship towards the morning
Come on home, the poppies are all grown knee-deep by now
Blossoms all have fallen, and the pollen ruins the plow
Peonies nod in the breeze and while they wetly bow, with
Hydrocephalitic listlessness ants mop up-a their brow
And everything with wings is restless, aimless, drunk and dour
The butterflies and birds collide at hot, ungodly hours
And my clay-colored motherlessness rangily reclines
Come on home, now! All my bones are dolorous with vines
Pa pointed out to me, for the hundredth time tonight
The way the ladle leads to a dirt-red bullet of light
Squint skyward and listen -
Loving him, we move within his borders:
Just asterisms in the stars' set order
We could stand for a century
Starin'
With our heads cocked
In the broad daylight at this thing
Landlocked
In bodies that don't keep
Dumbstruck with the sweetness of being
Till we don't be
Told; take this
Eat this
Told, the meteorite is the source of the light
And the meteor's just what we see
And the meteoroid is a stone that's devoid of the fire that propelled it to thee
And the meteorite's just what causes the light
And the meteor's how it's perceived
Cosmia
When you ate I saw your eyelashes
Saw them shake like wind on rushes
In the corn field when she called me
Moths surround me, thought they'd drown me
And I miss your precious heart
And I miss your precious heart
Dried rose petal, red brown circles
Framed your eyes and stained your knuckles
Dried rose petal, red brown circles
Framed your eyes and stained your knuckles
And all those lonely nights down by the river
Brought me bread and water, water in
But though I tried so hard my little darling
I couldn't keep the night from coming in
And all those lonely nights down by the river
I was brought my bread and water by the kith and the kin
Now in the quiet hour when I am sleepin'
I cannot keep the night from comin' in
Why've you gone away
Gone away again
I'll sleep through the rest of my days
If you've gone away again
I sleep through the rest of my days
And I sleep through the rest of my days
And I sleep through the rest of my days
Why've you gone away, away
Seven suns, seven suns
Away, away, away, away
Can you hear me, will you listen
Don't come near me, don't go missing
In the lissome light of evening
Help me, Cosmia, I'm grieving
And all those lonely nights down by the river
Brought me bread and water, water in
But though I tried so hard my little darling
I couldn't keep the night from coming in
And all those lonely nights down by the river
I was brought my bread and water by the kith and the kin
Now in the quiet hour when I am sleepin'
I cannot keep the night from comin' in
Beneath the porch light we've all been circling
Beat our dust hearts, singe our flour wings
But in the corner, something is happening
Wild Cosmia, what have you seen
Water were your limbs, and the fire was her hair
And then the moonlight caught your eye
And you rose through the air
Well, if you've seen true light, then this is my prayer
Will you call me when you get there
And I miss your precious heart
And miss, and miss, and miss
And miss, and miss, and miss, and miss, and miss your heart
But release your precious heart
We sailed away on a winter's day
With fate as malleable as clay
But ships are fallible, I say
And the nautical, like all things, fades and I
Can recall our caravel:
A little wicker beetle shell
With four fine maste and lateen sails
Its bearings on Cair Paravel
Oh my love
Oh it was a funny little thing
To be the ones to've seen
The sight of bridges and balloons
Makes calm canaries irritable
They caw and claw all afternoon "Catenaries and dirigibles
Brace and buoy the living-room
A loom of metal, warp woof wimble"
And a thimblesworth of milky moon
Can touch hearts larger than a thimble
Oh my love
Oh it was a funny little thing
To be the ones to've seen
Oh my love
Oh it was a funny little thing
we picked our way
down to the beach
watching the waves dragging out of our reach
dangling impales like a sodden sheep
dangling on thrills from the gut of the sea
hoarding our means
alfalfa and rose
trying not to catch the cold eye of the gulls
i hope mother nature has not overheard
though she doles out hurt like a buchan bird
stayed for the winter
no one told us about the laws of the land
i hold my own
but you with your hunger
you arm the other hand
make yourself known
and when we were found
i know we both grieved
my heart made the sound of snow falling from leaves
you and me, bess
we were as thick as thieves
so i swore nonetheless
up and down it was only me
so they took me away
and after some time
studying my case
must've made up their minds
by the time you realized i was dying
must've been too late
i believe you were not lying
it is the day i wake with my ears cocked up like a dawn
like everyday, of course
yanked by my wrist to the sugar front courtyard
tell me what have i done
seems i have stolen a horse
and escaped to the gallows
who do you think that you are
arching your hooves like a queen
in the shallow gutter that lines the roof
crowded with folks who just stare as i hang
it's all the same
kindness comes over me
what was your name
it makes no difference
I'm glad that you came
The tadpole buoyant as basalt
The seahorse horsing in assault
The owlet in his greenery
The narwhal in his cup of sea
They all believe
They all believe
But collusion bleeds through back alleys
From parapets that end on feet
When one is weak they discretely meet
They throw the bones into the street
And they progress
And we retreat
And all the books our fathers wrote
Are in the middle of the road
Little by little, we implode
History brittle, brown and broke
We can't remember what was spoke
So we stare in wonder at the smoke
What it begets is born alone
We know not now what we have known
Ladies, breathe deep against your whalebones
For your children come home made of stone
The terror seething sees a way
Or like the wheezing of the bay
In miniature agonies
They travel westward on the breeze
Bring us all to our knees
The dappled horse, the sorrel mare
With eyes that do not see but stare
Beneath boots as black as malachite
He drives the nag into the night
Into the night
And all the baby boys we've born
With eyes averted from the storm
Sent off to die in perfect form
We know now what we have known
Satellite photos rhetoric
See how the euphemisms stick
And when they come back broke and burned
There was a knight, and a lady bright
And three little babes had she.
She sent them away, to a far country,
To learn their grammerie.
They hadn't been gone but a very short time,
About three months and a day,
When the lark spread o'er this whole wide world
And taken those babes away.
It was on a cold, cold Christmas night
When everything was still
Ahe saw her three little babes come running,
Come running down the hill.
She spread them a table of bread and wine,
That they might drink and eat;
She spread them a bed of winding sheet,
That they might sleep so sweet.
"Take it off, take it off," cried the eldest one;
"take it off, take it off," cried she,
"for I shan't stay here, in this wicked world
When there's a better one for me."
"Cold clods, cold clods, inside my bed,
Cold clods, down at my feet -
The tears my dear mother she'd for me
Svetlana sucks lemons across from me
And I am progressing abominably
And I do not know my own way to the sea
But the saltiest sea knows it's own way to me
And the city that turns, turns protracted and slow
And I find myself toeing the embarcadero
And I find myself knowing the things that I knew
Which is all that you can know on this side of the blue
And Jaime has eyes black and shiny as boots
And they march at you, two-by-two, re-loo re-loo
When she looks at you, you know she's nowhere near through
It's the kindest heart beating this side of the blue
And the signifieds butt heads with the signifiers
And we all fall down slack-jawed to marvel at words
While across the sky sheet the impossible birds
In a steady, illiterate movement homewards
And Gabriel stands beneath forest and moon
See them rattle and boo, see them shake, see them loom
See him fashion a cap from a page of Camus
See him navigate deftly this side of the blue
And the rest of our lives will the moments accrue
When the shape of their goneness will flare up anew
And we do what we have to do, re-loo re-loo
Which is all you can do on this side of the blue
Bottom of the ninth inning
Out which I stray through the crowd
First it was what I call quiet
Then it was biblically loud
You should have seen how they tumbled
You should have seen how they danced
You should have seen them all luscious and lean
As they flew by the seat of their pants
It was not the boiling' frustration
It was not they cannot care less
It was not the face of that reverend place
In the horrible state of undress
I moved in a way I call mindless
I flatter myself a move true
I carved out a "j" in the spectators fray
Because that's just the thing that we do
Yes, I carved out my name in the ninth of the game
If you want to come on down,
Down with your bones so white,
And watch the freight trains pound
Into the wild, wild night
How I would love to gnaw,
Gnaw on your bones so white,
And watch as the freight trains paw,
Paw at the wild, wild night.
All these ghost towns, wreathed in old loam
(Assateague knee-deep in seafoam)-
Ho Swansea! Buttonwillow!
Lagunitas! Ho Calico!
And all these beastly bungalows
Stare, distend, like endless toads -
Endlessly hop down the road.
Borne by wind, we southward blow.
While yonder, wild and blue,
The wild blue yonder looms.
'Till we are wracked with rheum,
By roads, by songs entombed.
And all we want to do
Is chew, and chew, and chew!
Dear one, drive on,
When all we want to do
Is chew, and chew, and chew.
So, so long ago,
and so far away,
when Time was just a line
that you fed me,
when you wanted to stay,
we'd talk
as soft as chalk,
till morning came, as pale as a pearl:
No time!
No, no time!
Now, I have got all the time
in the world.
Say, honey, did you belong to me?
Tell me, honey,
was your heart at rest when, darlin,
all the mourning doves were howling us
a song of love's
godawful lawlessness?
Say, honey, did you belong to me?
Tell me, darlin, did I pass your test?
I lay, as still as death, until the dawn,
whereupon I wrested from
that godawful lawlessness.
I roam around the tidy grounds
of my dappled sanatorium.
Coatless, I sit
amongst the moles, adrift,
and I dote upon my pinesap gum.
And the light, through the pines,
in brassy tines,
lays over me, dim as rum
and thick as molasses.
And so time passes.
And so, my heart, tomorrow comes.
I feel you, leaning,
out back with the crickets,
loyal heart marking the soon-ness,
darkness:
tonight, still,
the mourning doves
will summon us their song
of love's neverdoneing lawlessness
while, over and over--
rear up! stand down! lay round!--
trying to sound-out,
or guess the reasons,
I sleep like a soldier, without rest.
But there is no treason,
where there is only lawlessness.
In the last week
of the last year I was aware,
I took a blind shot, across the creek,
at the black bear,
when he roused me in the night,
and left me cowering with my light,
calling out
Who is there?
Who's there?
Who is there?
I watched you sleep,
repeating my prayer.
(Give love a little shove
and it becomes terror.)
Now I am calling,
in a sadness beyond anger
and beyond fear,
Who is there? Who's there?
Who is there?
I glare and nod,
like the character, God,
bearing down
upon the houses and lawns.
I knew a little bit,
but, darling, you were it,
and, darling, now it is long gone.
Sweetheart, in your clean, bright start--
back there, behind a hill, and a dell,
and a state line or two--
I'll be thinking of you.
Yes, I'll be thinking,
and be wishing you well.
We land, I stand,
But I wait for the sound of the bell.
I have to catch a cab,
and my bags are at the carousel.
And then--Lord, just then--
Sadie
White coat
You carry me home
And bury this bone
And take this pinecone
Bury this bone
To gnaw on it later, gnawing on the telephone
And 'till then, we pray and suspend
The notion that these lives do never end
And all day long we talk about mercy
Lead me to water Lord, I sure am thirsty
Down in the ditch where I nearly served you
Up in the clouds where he almost heard you
And all that we built
And all that we breathed
And all that we spilt
Or pulled up like weeds
Is piled up in back
And it burns irrevocably
And we spoke up in turns
'Till the silence crept over me
And bless you
And I deeply do
No longer resolute
Oh, and I call to you
But the water go so cold
And you do lose
What you don't hold
This is an old song
These are old blues
And this is not my tune
But it's mine to use
And the seabirds
Where the fear once grew
Will flock with a fury
And they will bury
What'd come for you
And down where I darn with the milk-eyed mender
You and I, and a love so tender
Stretched-on the hoop where I stitch-this addage
"Bless our house and it's heart so savage."
And all that I want
And all that I need
And all that I got
Is scattered like seed
And all that I knew
Is moving away from me
And all that I know
Is blowing like tumbleweed
And the mealy worms
In the brine will burn
In a salty pyre
Among the fauns and ferns
And the love we hold
And the love we spurn
Will never grow cold
Oh, only taciturn
And I'll tell you tomorrow
Oh Sadie, go on home now
And bless those who've sickened below
And bless us who have chosen so
And all that I got
And all that I need
I tie in a knot
And I lay at your feet
And I have not forgot
But a silence crept over me
So dig up your bone
There is a spring, not far from here,
The water runs both sweet and clear--
both sweet and clear, and cold:
could crack your bones
with veins of gold.
I stood, a-wagging, at the tap;
just a-waiting on the lagging, rising sap.
I held the cold tin ladle to my lip.
At the Shrine of the Thousand Arms,
I lowered my eyes to sip.
What a beautiful day to catch my drift,
or be caught up in it.
You want your love, Love?
Come and get your love;
I only took it back
because I thought you didn't.
How my ears did ring,
at the municipal pound,
from that old hangdog
to which I was bound:
curled 'round the bottom rung--
doesn't anybody want you?
Well, come on, darlin.
I could use someone like you around.
I am not like you, I ain't from this place.
And I do reserve the right
to repeat all my same mistakes.
And, in the night, like you,
I certainly bite and chew
what I can find,
and never seem to lose the taste.
What a horrible face I feel me make--
For Pete's sake,
what you have told me, I cannot erase!--
(Though I keep on saying,
and I do believe, it is not too late).
All day, you're hassling me with trifles:
black nose of the dog, as cold as a rifle,
indicating, with a nudge,
God, No God. God, No God.
Sweet, appraising eye of the dog,
blink once if god,
twice if no god.
My mama may be ashamed of me,
with all of my finery:
carrying on,
whooping it up till the early morn,
lost and lorn,
among the madding revelry!
Sure, I can pass.
Honey, I can pass.
Particularly when I start to tip my glass.
I'll be a sport,
and have a go at that old song,
singing unabashed, about
"Them city girls,
with their ribbon bows,
and their fancy sash..."
But, though I get so sad
(could swear the night
makes a motion to claim me,
around that second verse),
I reckon I've felt worse,
and still held fast.
But, later on, when I am alone,
alone at last,
then I take my god to task.
Hey hey hey, the end is near!
On a good day,
you can see the end from here.
But I won't turn back, now,
though the way is clear;
I will stay for the remainder.
I saw a life, and I called it mine.
I saw it, drawn so sweet and fine,
and I had begun to fill in all the lines,
right down to what we'd name her.
Our nature does not change by will.
In the winter, 'round the ruined mill,
the creek is lying, flat and still;
it is water,
though it's frozen.
So, 'cross the years,
and miles, and through,
on a good day,
you can feel my love for you.
Will you leave me be,
so that we can stay true
Mercy me, the night is long.
Take my pen, to write you this song.
Lord: is it harder to carry on,
or to know when you are done?
All my life, I've felt as though
I'm inside a beautiful memory,
replaying
with the sound turned down low.
Long-life, show your face.
Slow-heart, curb your taste.
Smoke me out of my hiding place.
Long-life, state your case.
What in the world are we waiting for--
building glowing cities along the shore,
where the wind batters in,
baiting my kin like a matador?
So much value, placed upon
what lies just beyond our plans:
waving my handkerchief,
running along, till the end of the sand.
Long-life, speak your name.
I'm so tired of the guessing game.
But, something is moving,
just out of frame:
Slow-heart,
brace and aim.
Breaching slowly, across the sea,
one mast--
a flash, like the stinger of a bee--
to take you away,
a swarming fleet is gonna take you
from me.
The universe is getting loose:
sodden spread,
from some leaden disuse,
rushing, unhinged,
toward diminishing lights,
like a headless caboose.
I'll wait for you,
alongside the ocean,
and make do
with my no-skin.
But then, Long-life,
will you let me in?
And then, Slow-heart,
are you gonna know him?
Long-life, speak your name.
I wait, while I decry the wait.
And when I die, may I relate:
Slow heart, congregate.
To leave your home, and your family,
for some distortion of property?
Well, darling, I can't go.
But you may stay
Allelu, allelu:
I have died happy,
and lived to tell the tale to you.
I have slept for forty years,
and woke to find me gone.
I woke safe and warm in your arms.
Not informed of the natural law,
squatting, lordly, on a stool, in a stall,
we spun gold clear out of straw.
And, when our bales of bullion
were stored,
you burned me like a barn.
I burned safe and warm in your arms.
I'm afraid of the Big Return.
There's a certain conversation lost,
and that loss incurred
with nobody remaining,
to register who had passed this way,
in the night,
in the middle of the night
(negating their grace and their sight),
till only I remember, or mark,
how we had our talk:
We took our ride,
so that there was no-one home,
and the lights of Rome
flickered and died.
And, what's more,
I believe that you knew it, too;
I think you saw their flares,
and kept me safely unawares,
in your arms.
The grass was tall, and strung with burrs,
I essayed that high sashay which,
in my mind, was my way;
you hung behind, in yours.
Anyhow, she did not neigh.
I do not know
what drew our eyes to hers;
that little black mare did not stir,
till I lay down in your arms.
Poor old dirty little dog-size horse!--
saying and wheezing,
as a matter of course;
swaying and wheezing,
as a matter of pride.
That poor old nag, not four palms wide,
had waited a long time,
coated in salt,
buckled like a ship run foul of the fence.
In the middle of the night,
she'd sprung up,
no provenance,
bearing the whites of her eyes.
And you, with your
'arrangement' with Fate,
nodded sadly at her lame assault
on that steady old gate,
her faultlessly etiolated fishbelly-face;
the muzzle of a ghost.
And, pretty Johnny Appleseed,
via satellite feed,
tell us, who was it
that you then loved the most?
Pretty Johnny Appleseed,
leave a trail that leads
straight back down to the farm.
Lay me down
Whose is the hand that I will hold?
Whose is the face I will see?
Whose is the name that I will call,
when I am called to meet thee?
In this life, who did you love,
beneath the drifting ashes,
beneath the sheeting banks of air
that barrenly bore our rations?
When I could speak, it was too late.
Didn't you hear me calling?
Didn't you see my heart leap,
like a pup in the constant barley?
In this life, where did you crouch,
when the sky had set to boiling?
Burning within, seen from without,
and your gut was a serpent, coiling.
And, for the sake of that pit of snakes,
for whom did you allay your shyness,
and spend all your mercy,
and madness, and grace,
in a day, beneath the bending cypress?
It was not on principal.
Show, Pro-heart, that you have got gall.
A miracle:
I can bear a lot, but not that pall.
I can bear a lot, but not that pall!
Kingfisher, sound the alarm.
Say, "Sweet little darlin, now,
come to my arms;
tell me all about the love
you left on the farm."
He was a kind, unhurried man
with a heavy lip and a steady hand,
but he loved me just like a little child;
like a little child loves a little lamb.
Thrown to the ground,
by something down there;
bitten by the bad air,
while the clouds tick;
trying to read all the signs,
preparing for when the bombs hit;
hung from the underbelly of the earth,
while the stars skid away, below,
gormless and brakeless, gravel-loose,
falling silent as gavels in the snow
I lay back and spit my chaw,
wrapped in the long arm of the Law,
who has seen it all:
I can bear a lot, but not that pall.
I can bear a lot, but not that pall!
Kingfisher, cast your fly:
oh, Lord,
it happens without even trying,
when I sling a low look
from my shuttering eye.
Blows rain upon the one you loved,
and, though you were only sparring,
there's blood on the eye.
Unlace the glove.
Say, Honey I am not sorry.
Stand here and name
the one you loved,
beneath the drifting ashes,
and, in naming, rise above time,
as it, flashing, passes.
We came by the boatload,
and were immobilized:
worshipping volcanoes,
charting the loping skies.
The tides of the earth
left us bound, and calcified,
and made as obstinate as obsidian,
unmoving, save our eyes:
just mooning and blinking
from faces marked with coal.
(Ash cooling and shrinking
cracks loud as thunder rolling.)
I swear I know you. You know me.
Where have we met before?
Tell me true:
to whose authority
do you consign your soul?
I had a dream you came to me,
said
You shall not do me harm anymore,
and with your knife,
you evicted my life
from its little lighthouse
on the seashore.
And I saw that my blood
had no bounds,
spreading in a circle like an atom bomb,
soaking and felling
everything in its path,
and welling in my heart like a birdbath.
It is too short--
the day we are born,
we commence with our dying.
Trying to serve,
with the heart of a child;
I was tired of being drunk.
My face cracked like a joke.
So I swung through here
like a brace of jackrabbits,
with their necks all broke.
I stumbled at the door with my boot.
I knocked against the jamb.
I scrabbled at your chest, like a mute,
with my fists of ham,
trying to tell you
that I am telling, I can--
I can love you again;
love you again.
I'm squinting towards the East.
My faith makes me a dope.
But you can take my hand,
in the darkness, darlin, like a
length of rope.
I shaped up overnight, you know,
the day after she died,
when I saw my heart--
and I'll tell you, darlin, it was open wide,
what with telling you--
I am telling you I can--
I can love you again;
love you again.
It can have no bounds, you know.
It can have no end.
You can take my hand
in the darkness, darlin,
when you need a friend.
And it can change in shape, or form,
but never change in size.
The water, it runs deep, my darlin,
where it don't run wide.
The feather of a hawk was bound,
bound around my neck;
a poultice made of fig,
the eager little vultures pecked.
And a verse I read,
in jest, in Matthew,
spoke to me;
said There's a flame that moves
like a low-down pest
and says, You will be free
only, tell me that I can--
tell me that I can:
I can love you again;
My heart became a drunken runt
on the day I sunk in this shunt,
to tap me clean
of all the wonder
and the sorrow I have seen,
since I left my home:
My home, on the old Milk Lake,
where the darkness does fall so fast,
it feels like some kind of mistake
(just like they told you it would;
just like the Tulgeywood).
When I came into my land,
I did not understand:
neither dry rot, nor the burn pile,
nor the bark-beetle, nor the dry well,
nor the black bear.
But there is another,
who is a little older.
When I broke my bone,
he carried me up from the riverside.
To spend my life
in spitting-distance
of the love that I have known,
I must stay here, in an endless eventide.
And if you come and see me,
you will upset the order.
You cannot come and see me,
for I set myself apart.
But when you come and see me,
in California,
you cross the border of my heart.
Well, I have sown untidy furrows
across my soul,
but I am still a coward,
content to see my garden grow
so sweet & full
of someone else's flowers.
But sometimes
I can almost feel the power.
Sometimes I am so in love with you
(like a little clock
that trembles on the edge of the hour,
only ever calling out "Cuckoo, cuckoo").
When I called you,
you, little one,
in a bad way,
did you love me?
Do you spite me?
Time will tell if I can be well,
and rise to meet you rightly.
While, moving across my land,
brandishing themselves
like a burning branch,
advance the tallow-colored,
walleyed deer,
quiet as gondoliers,
while I wait all night, for you,
in California,
watching the fox pick off my goldfish
from their sorry, golden state--
and I am no longer
afraid of anything, save
the life that, here, awaits.
I don't belong to anyone.
My heart is heavy as an oil drum.
I don't want to be alone.
My heart is yellow as an ear of corn,
and I have torn my soul apart, from
pulling artlessly with fool commands.
Some nights
I just never go to sleep at all,
and I stand,
shaking in my doorway like a sentinel,
all alone,
bracing like the bow upon a ship,
and fully abandoning
any thought of anywhere
but home,
my home.
Sometimes I can almost feel the power.
And I do love you.
Is it only timing,
that has made it such a dark hour,
only ever chiming out,
"Cuckoo, cuckoo"?
My heart, I wear you down, I know.
Gotta think straight,
keep a clean plate;
keep from wearing down.
If I lose my head,
just where am I going to lay it?
(For it has half-ruined me,
to be hanging around,
here, among the daphne,
looming out of the big brown;
I am native to it, but I'm overgrown.
I have choked my roots
on the earth, as rich as roe,
here,
From the courtyard, I floated in
and watched it go down.
Heard the cup drop;
thought, "Well,
that's why they keep them around."
The blackguard sat hard, down,
with no head on him now,
and I felt so bad,
cause I didn't know how
to feel bad enough
to make him proud.
By the time you read this,
I will be so far away.
Daddy longlegs, how in the world
am I to be expected to stay?
In the night--
in the night, you may hear me call
Pa, stay your hand
and steel your resolve.
Stay where you are,
so long and tall.
Here's Lola--ta da!--to do
her famous Spider Dance for you!
Lighten up your pockets!
Shake her skirts and scatter, there,
a shrieking, six-legged millionaire
with a blight in his sockets.
Miss Montez,
the Countess of Lansfeld,
appealed to the King of Bavaria,
saying, "Pretty papa,
if you are my friend--
mister daddy longlegs, they are at it again!--
Can I see you?"
Poor Lola! A tarantula's mounting
Countess Lansfeld's
handsome brassiere,
while they all cheer.
And the old king fell from grace,
while Lola fled,
To save face and her career
You caught a fly, floating by,
Wait for him to drown in the dust;
drown in the dust of other flies,
whereby the machine is run,
and the deed is done.
Heaven has no word
for the way you and your friends
have treated poor Louis.
May god save your poor soul, Lola.
(But there is nothing I adore,
apart from that whore's black heart.)
Well, doesn't that just beat all!
Miss Gilbert,
called to Castlemaine
by the silver dollar and the gold glitter!
Well, I've seen lots,
but never, in a million years,
would think to see you, here.
Though the long road
begins and ends with you,
I cannot seem to make amends
with you, Louis.
When we go out,
they're bound to see you with me.
At night, I walk in the park,
with a whip,
between the lines
of the whispering Jesuits,
who are poisoning you against me.
There's a big black spider
hanging over my door.
Can't go anywhere, anymore.
Tell me, are you with me?
I called to you, several times,
while the change took place
and then arrived, all night,
and I died.
But all these songs,
when you and I are long gone,
will carry on.
Mud in your eye.
You asked my hand,
hired a band.
"In your heart is all that you need;
ask and you will receive," it is said.
I threw my bouquet,
and I knocked 'em dead.
Bottle of white, bottle of red.
Helpless as a child,
when you held me in your arms,
and I knew that no other
could ever love me as you loved.
But help me! I'm leaving!
I remember everything,
down to the sound of you shaving--
the scrape of your razor,
the dully-abrading black hair
that remained
when you clutched at me,
that night I came upstairs, half-dead,
and, in your kindness,
you put me straightaway
in the cupboard,
with a bottle of champagne,
and then, later, on a train.
It was dark out, I was half-dead.
I saw a star fall into the sky,
like a chunk of thrown coal,
as if god himself spat
like a cornered rat.
I really want you to do this for me,
will you have one on me?
It was dark; I was drunk and half-dead,
and we slept, knocking heads,
sitting up in the star-smoking air,
knocking heads like buoys.
Don't you worry for me!
Have one on me!
Meanwhile, I will raise my own glass
to how you made me fast
and expendable,
and I will drink to your excellent health,
and your cruelty.
Will you have one on me?
--helpless as a child,
when you held me in your arms,
and I knew that no other
could ever love me--
From the courtyard, I floated in
and watched it go down.
Heard the cup drop;
thought, "Well, that's why
they keep them around."
The blackguard sat hard, down,
with no head on him now,
and I felt so bad,
cause I didn't know how
to feel bad enough
to make him proud.
Well daddy longlegs, are you?
Daddy longlegs, are you?
Twenty miles left to the show.
Hello, my old country. Hello.
Stars are just beginning to appear,
and I have never, in my life,
before been here.
And it's my heart, not me,
who cannot drive,
at which conclusion you arrived,
watching me sit here, bolt upright,
and cry for no good reason
at the Eastering sky.
And the tilt of this strange nation,
and the will to remain for the duration
(waving the flag,
feeling it drag).
Like a bump on a bump on a log, baby;
like I'm in a fistfight with the fog, baby;
step, ball-change, and a-pirouette!
And I regret
how I said to you,
Honey, just open your heart,
when I've got trouble
even opening a honey jar.
And that, right there, is where we are.
I've been 'fessing, double-fast,
addressing questions nobody asked.
I'll get this joy off of my chest, at last,
and I will love you
till the noise has long since passed.
I did not mean to shout, Just drive,
Just get us out, dead or alive.
The road's too long to mention--
Lord, it's something to see!--
laid down by the
Good Intentions Paving Company,
all the way to the thing
we've been playing at, darling.
I can see that you're wearing
your staying-hat, darling.
For the time being, all is well.
Won't you love me a spell?
This is blindness, beyond all conceiving,
while behind us, the road is leaving,
and leaving, and falling back
like a rope gone slack.
Well, I saw straightaway
that the lay was steep,
but I fell for you, honey,
easy as falling asleep.
And that, right there,
is the course I keep.
And no amount of talking
is going to soften the fall,
but, like after the rain,
step out of the overhang. That's all.
It had a nice ring to it,
when the old opry house rang,
so, with a solemn auld lang
syne, sealed, delivered,
I sang.
And there is hesitation,
and it always remains
(concerning you, me,
and the rest of the gang),
but, in our quiet hour,
I feel I see everything,
and am in love
with the hook
upon which everyone hangs.
And I know you meant
to show the extent
to which you gave a goddang--
you ranged real hot and real cold,
but I'm sold,
I am at home on that range.
And I do hate to fold,
right here, at the top of my game,
when I've been trying
with my whole heart and soul
to stay right here, in the right lane.
But it can make you feel over, and old
(Lord, you know it's a shame),
when I only want for you to pull over,
and hold me,
Last night, again,
you were in my dream.
Several expendable limbs were at stake.
You were a prince, spinning rims,
all sentiments indian-given
and half-baked.
I was brought
in on a palanquin
made of the many bodies
of beautiful women.
Brought to this place, to be examined,
swaying on an elephant:
a princess of India.
We both want the very same thing.
We are praying
I am the one to save you.
But you don't even own
your own violence.
Run away from home--
your beard is still blue
with the loneliness of you mighty men,
when your jaws, and fists, and guitars,
and pens, and your sugarlip,
but I've never been to the firepits
with you mighty men.
Who made you this way?
Who made you this way?
Who is going to bear
your beautiful children?
Do you think you can just stop,
when you're ready for a change?
Who will take care of you
when you're old and dying?
You burn in the Mekong,
to prove your worth.
Go long! Go long!
Right over the edge of the earth!
You have been wronged,
tore up since birth.
You have done harm.
Others have done worse.
Will you tuck your shirt?
Will you leave it loose?
You are badly hurt.
You're a silly goose.
You are caked in mud,
and in blood, and worse.
Chew your bitter cud.
Grope your little nurse.
Do you know why
my ankles are bound in gauze?
(sickly dressage:
a princess of Kentucky)?
In the middle of the woods
(which were the probable cause),
we danced in the lodge
like two panting monkeys.
I will give you a call, for one last hurrah.
If this tale is tall, forgive my scrambling.
But you keep palming along the wall,
moving at a blind crawl,
but always rambling.
Wolf-spider, crouch in your funnel nest.
If I knew you, once,
now I know you less.
In the sinking sand,
where we've come to rest,
have I had a hand in your loneliness?
When you leave me alone
in this old palace of yours,
it starts to get to me. I take to walking.
What a woman does is open doors.
And it is not a question of locking
or unlocking.
Well, I have never seen
such a terrible room--
gilded with the gold teeth
of the women who loved you!
Now, though I die,
Magpie, this I bequeath:
by any other name,
a Jay is still blue
with the loneliness
of you mighty men,
with your mighty kiss
that might never end,
while, so far away,
in the seat of the West,
burns the fount
of the heat
of that loneliness.
There's a man
who only will speak in code,
backing slowly, slowly down the road.
May he master everything
that such men may know
Dear charming kite,
Do litely bite
The foggy fields, the lowing lanes
The rickety roads and the kneeling plains
Oh lazy light
With massive might
You dare my dream of snowy cloth
Felt snapping white as albatross
Is bitten by the wind and rocks
Is hushed into the clary moss
Is ushered here to count his loss
My kite; pale cotton, willow cross
You take my tattered fist
It's like a catalyst
It's like a roiling writhing wall of 'has it come to
this?'
If this is medicine woah-oh
It tastes like medicine
Just help me get it in
Flying a kite,
Flying a
Kite, flying
A kite, flying
A kite, flying
A kite, flying
A kite, flying
A kite, flying
Flying a kite
Oh-woah-oh
Oh gnarly night
It's like a dog fight
It's like a cat fight
And if I could just hold you close to me, woah-oh
I guess I hold you close to me
It's like a bull fight
And I see I give you a piece of my mind
But I'm giving you a piece of my mouth
You blushing boy,s how could you be so blind?
Flying a kite
Flying a
Kite, flying
A kite, flying
A kite, flying
A kite, flying
A kite, flying
A kite, flying
Flying a kite
Oh-woah-oh
La, da-da, dee, di
Look at my kite fly
Over foggy fields
The pungent pines
The verdant veils
The vapid vines
And the thousand purple cups of wine
The tearing teeth and the four full tines
The crumpling feast and the dawdling dine
And you do
Get me off the floor
Stand there staring for a minute
Like you never saw a girl before
There is the door
And like the streets are like an open mouth
I head south
And you stand fair and square and I stand there
Until the fall blots me out
There is no more
The cat and mouse to block the door
I can feel a difference.
Today, a difference:
all of us, in our tents,
fearing god like a mistress.
We lay on the rocks, in the sun,
watching you and your mama row in,
I sat up and blinked,
when you appeared,
so pale you were nearly clear!
Later, I stumbled to my bed,
all alone in the branches.
I laid in the dark,
thinking about all of my friends,
and their changes.
And I do not know
if you know just what you have done.
You are the sweetest one
I have ever laid my eyes upon.
It's a beautiful town,
with the rain coming down.
Blackberry, rosemary,
jimmy-crack-corn.
You've got the run of the place,
now that you're running around;
and may kindness,
kindness, kindness abound.
In this hour of our lives--
hour of effortless plenty--
how do we know
which parts of our hearts want what,
with such base generosity?
Taking so many photographs--
so amazed!--
we've never seen a baby so newlyborn.
And, when the bulbs do flash,
as bright as morning,
the crowd keeps on gathering
like an electric storm.
The phantom of love
moves among us at will.
Each phantom-limb lost,
has got an angel
(so confused,
like the wagging bobbed-tail
of a bulldog):
kindness, kindness prevails.
Kindness prevails!
Ties and rails fall into line,
bearing kindness.
Where will you go, if not here?
What will you say,
when you write to us?
This is a world of terrible hardship,
everywhere,
and I search for words
to set you at ease.
But there, in the looking-glass,
a kite is soaring,
stilling my warring heart
and my trembling knees.
Clean as a breeze,
bright as the day:
all of the people gather to say:
"Sweet Esme! Sweet Esme!
Oh, oh, oh!"
I believe love will always surround you--
brave as a bear,
with a heart rare and true.
But if you are scared,
if you are blue,
I have prepared this small song for you:
Sweet Esme! Sweet Esme!
Erin, Erin, Erin
Erin across america
Do now cheer me on
Can't you hear the song for you
Quick, now, caramel dip
Give it up to the runaway ship
Hail, now - hail to the bitch
The hairy literary with the nervous, nervous twitch
Shy, your light pops out
And we stand there astounded
And we pound our heads and shout
We shout halleluja
Look what it did to ya
Oh, a horrible mess
And we're eating by the river in the sunday dress
Oh, serenade me
Eatin' my biscuits and gravy
You are missing from me
As you chug with your uncle in the red red sea
I will wait, or will
Knock my knees and talk to you, oh so still
Oh shanandoah
We just a-cross the wide missouri
You are so bonny - shhhh do not worry
Quick, now - caramel dip
Give it up to the runaway ship
Life's so sweet and so low
Buried in the water, yeah, buried in the snow
So dear, deep and so dark
Sleeping on the pavement in the central park
Twentieth floor balcony house is what is home to me
Twentieth floor balcony house is what is home to me
Easy, easy.
My man and me,
we could rest and remain here, easily.
We are tested and pained
by what's beyond our bed.
We are blessed and sustained
by what is not said.
No-one knows what is coming, or
who will harvest what we have sewn,
or how I've been dulling, and dumbing,
in the service of the heart alone,
or how I am worn to the bone
by the river,
and, in the river made of light,
I'm your little life-giver.
I will give my life.
Haven't you seen what I've seen?
Don't you know what you ought to do?
I was born to love,
and I intend to love you.
Down in the valley,
where the fields are green,
Watch my luck turn, fro and to;
pluck every last daisy clean,
till only I may love you.
I am easy,
easy to keep.
Honey, you please me
even in your sleep.
But my arms want to carry.
My heart wants to hold.
Tell me your worries. I want to be told.
Sit, and see how the fog,
from the port in the bay,
lays like snow
at the foot of the roanoke;
hear the frog, going courting,
till the day he croaks,
saying, even then,
There is light in the river.
There is a river made of light.
C'mon, little life-giver.
Give your life.
Who asked you?
Who asked you
if you want to be loved by me?
Who died, and made you in charge
of who loves who?
All the livelong day,
if I have my way, I will love you.
But One can't carry the weight,
or change the fate, of Two.
I've been waiting for a break.
How long's it gonna take?
Let me love you.
How about it?
How about what I have to say?
How about that livelong day?
How am I gonna stay here
without you?
Easy, easy.
You must not fear.
You must meet me, to see me.
I am barely here.
But, like a Bloody Mary,
seen in the mirror:
speak my name
I will pack up my pretty dresses.
I will box up my high-heeled shoes.
A sparkling ring, for every finger,
I'll put away, and hide from view.
Coats of boucle, jacquard and cashmere;
cartouche and tweed, all silver shot--
and everything that could remind you
of how easy I was not.
I'll tuck away my gilded buttons;
I'll bind my silks in shapeless bales;
I'll wrap it all on up, in reams of tissue,
and then I'll kiss you, sweet, farewell.
You saw me rise to our occasion,
and so deny the evidence.
You caused me to burn, and twist,
and grimace against you,
like something caught
on a barbed-wire fence.
Now, you can see me fall back here,
redoubled,
full bewildered and amazed.
I have gotten into some terrible trouble,
beneath your blank and rinsing gaze.
It does not suffice
for you to say I am a sweet girl,
or to say you hate to see me sad
because of you.
It does not suffice,
to merely lie beside each other,
as those who love each other do.
I picture you, rising up in the morning:
stretching out on your boundless bed,
beating a clear path to the shower,
scouring yourself red.
The tap of hangers,
swaying in the closet--
unburdened hooks
and empty drawers--
and everywhere I tried to love you
is yours again,
That means no
Where I come from
I am cold
Out waiting for the day to come
I chew my lips
And I scratch my nose
Feels so good to be a rose
Oh don't, don't you life me up
Like I'm that shy
No no no no no
Just five it up
There are bats all dissolving in a row
Into the wishy-washy dark that can't let go
I cannot let go
So I thank the Lord
And I thank his sword
'Tho it be mincing up the morning, slightly bored
Oh, oh morning without warning like a hole
And I watch you go
There are some mornings when the sky looks like a road
There are some dragons who were built to have and hold
And some machines are dropped from great heights lovingly
And some great bellies ache with many bumblebees
And they sting so terribly
I do as I please
Now I'm on my knees
Your skin is something that I stir into my tea
And I am watching you
And you are starry, starry, starry
And I'm tumbling down
And I check a frown
It's why I love this town
Well, just look around
Just see me serenaded hourly !
And celebrated sourly :
Dedicated dourly
Waltzing with the open sea
Clam, crap, cockle, cowrie
This is the song for Baby Birch.
I will never know you.
And at the back of what we've done,
there is that knowledge of you.
I wish we could take every path.
I could spend a hundred years
adoring you.
Yes, I wish we could take every path,
because I hated to close
the door on you.
Do you remember staring,
up at the stars,
so far away in their bulletproof cars?
We heard the rushing, slow intake
of the dark, dark water,
and the engine breaks,
and I said,
How about them engine breaks?
And, if I should die before I wake,
will you keep an eye on Baby Birch?
Because I'd hate to see her
make the same mistakes.
When it was dark,
I called and you came.
When it was dark, I saw shapes.
When I see stars, I feel, in your hand,
and I see stars,
and I reel, again.
Well mercy me, I'll be goddamned.
It's been a long, long time
since I last saw you.
And I have never known the plan.
It's been a long, long time.
How are you?
Your eyes are green. Your hair is gold.
Your hair is black. Your eyes are blue.
I closed the ranks, and I doubled back--
but, you know, I hated to close
the door on you.
We take a walk along the dirty lake.
Hear the goose,
cussing at me over her eggs.
You poor little cousin.
I don't want your dregs
(a little baby fussing all over my legs).
There is a blacksmith,
and there is a shepherd,
and there is a butcher boy,
and there is a barber, who's cutting
and cutting away at my only joy.
I saw a rabbit,
as slick as a knife,
and as pale as a candlestick,
and I had thought it'd be harder to do,
but I caught her, and skinned her quick:
held her there,
kicking and mewling,
upending, unspooling, unsung and blue;
told her "wherever you go,
little runaway bunny,
I will find you."
And then she ran,
as they're liable to do.
Be at peace, baby,
and be gone.
Be at peace, baby,
Driven through by her own sword,
summer died last night, alone.
Even the ghosts
huddled up for warmth.
Autumn has come to my hometown.
Friendly voices, dead and gone,
singing, Star of the country down...
(even the ghosts help raise the barn,
here, now, in my hometown)
--when, out of the massing
that bodes and bides, in the cold west,
flew a waxwing, who froze
and died against my breast!
All the while, rain,
like a weed in the tide,
swans and lists, down
on the gossiping lawns,
saying tsk tsk tsk.
I may have changed. It's hard to gauge.
Time won't account for how I've aged.
Would I could tie your lying tongue,
who says that leaving keeps you young.
I have got no control
over my heart, over my mind.
Over the hills, the rainclouds roll.
I'll winter here, wait for a sign
to cast myself
out, over the water,
riven like a wishbone.
You'd hardly guess
I was my own mother's daughter;
I ain't naturally given to roam.
I lay low, when I return,
and I move
like a gurney
whose wheels are squeaking,
alone, here in my home,
and I laugh,
when you speak of my
pleasure-seeking
among the tall pines,
along the lay-lines.
Here, where the loon keens.
There, where the moon leans.
There,
where I know my violent love lays down,
in a row of silent, dove-gray days.
Here, in a row of silent, dove-gray days.
Wherever I go, I am snowbound
by thoughts of him
whom I would sun.
I loved them all,
one by one.
Cannot gain ground,
cannot outrun;
but time marches along.
You can't always stick around.
But, when the final count is done,
I will be in my hometown.
I found a little plot of land,
in the garden of Eden.
It was dirt, and dirt is all the same.
I tilled it with my two hands,
and I called it my very own;
there was no one to dispute my claim.
Well, you'd be shocked
at the state of things--
the whole place
had just cleared right out.
It was hotter than hell,
so I laid me by a spring, for a spell,
as naked as a trout.
The wandering eye that I have caught
is as hot as a wandering sun.
But I will want for nothing more,
in my garden:
start again,
in my hardening to every heart but one.
Meet me in the garden of Eden.
Bring a friend.
We are gonna have ourselves a time.
We are gonna have a garden party.
It's on me!
No, sirree, it's my dime.
We broke our hearts,
in the war between
St. George and the dragon,
but both, in equal part,
are welcome to come along.
I'm inviting everyone.
Farewell to loves that I have known,
Even muddiest waters run.
Tell me, what is meant by sin, or none,
in a garden
seceded from the union
in the year of '81?
The unending amends you've made
are enough for one life.
Be done.
I believe in innocence, little darling.
Start again.
I believe in everyone.
I believe, regardless.
![[Hitomi] あずみ (Azumi) hardsubbed (part 1)](http://web.archive.org./web/20140308052022im_/http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Bexx8Pa1NRg/0.jpg "[Hitomi] あずみ (Azumi) hardsubbed (part 1)")
