Wynona's got herself a big brown beaver
and she shows it off to all her friends.
One day, you know, that beaver tried to leave her,
So she caged him up with cyclone fence.
Along came Lou with the old baboon
And said "Recognize that smell?"
"Smells like seven layers,
That beaver eats Taco Bell."
Now Rex he was a Texan out of New Orleans
And he travelled with the carnival shows.
He ran bumper cars, sucked cheap cigars
And he candied up his nose.
He got wind of the big brown beaver
So he though he'd take himself a peek,
But the beaver was quick
And grabbed him by the kiwis.
Now he ain't pissed for a week.
(And a half!)
Now Wynona took her big brown beaver,
And she stuck him up in the air.
Said "I sure do love this big brown beaver
And I wish I did have a pair."
Now the beaver onces slept for seven days
And it gave us all an awful fright.
So I tickled his chin and I gave him a pinch
And the bastard tried to bite me.
Wynona loved her big brown beaver
And she stroked him all the time.
She pricked her finger one day and it
Too many puppies are being shot in the dark.
Too many puppies are trained not to bark.
At the sight of blood that must be spilled so that
We may maintain our oil fields.
Too many puppies
Too many puppies are taught to heal.
Too many puppies are trained to kill.
On the command of men wearing money belts that buy
Mistresses sleek animal pelts.
Too many puppies.
too many pupp pupp pupp pupp pupp pupp puppies
Too many puppies with guns in their hands.
Too many puppies in foreign lands.
Are dressed up sharp in suits of green and
Placed upon the war machine.
Too many puppies are just like me.
Too many puppies are afraid to see.
The visions of the past brought to life again,
Too many puppies are being shot in the dark.
Too many puppies are trained not to bark.
At the sight of blood that must be spille dso that
We may maintain our oil fields.
Too many puppies
Too many puppies are taught to heal.
Too many puppies are trained to kill.
On the command of men wearing money belts that buy
mistresses sleek animal pelts.
Too many puppies.
Too many puppies with guns in their hands.
Too many puppies in foreign lands.
Are dressed up sharp in suits of green and
Placed upon the war machine.
Too many puppies are just like me.
Too many puppies are afraid to see.
The visions of the past brought to life again,
What if Christmas didn't come this year
and no one paid for Christmas cheer?
Who would cry the biggest tear,
the child or the store?
Why do brides wear virgin white?
Most do not deserve that right.
But to choose a color of their delight
would surely bring on the frowns.
To defy the laws of tradition
is a crusade only of the brave.
Suppose the taxman, he comes to town,
and you don't lay your money down.
Yet Mr. Jones he killed Mr. Brown the other day.
I've seen them out at Soco
They're pounding sixteen penny nails
The truckers on the interstate
Have been known to ride the rails
The sweat is beating on the brow
Can't keep these fellas down
'Cause those damned blue-collared tweekers
Are runnin' this here town
I knew a man who hung drywall
He hung it mighty quick
A trip or two to the blue room
Would help him do the trick
His foreman would pat him on the back
Whenever he would come around
'Cause these dammed blue-collar tweekers
Are beloved in this here town
Now the union boys are there
To protect us from all the corporate type
While curious George's drug patrol
Is out here hunting snipe
Now they try to tell me different
But you know I ain't no clown
'Cause those damned blue-collar tweekers
Are the backbone of this town
Now the flame that burns twice as bright
Burns only half as long
My eyes are growing weary
As I finalize this song
So sit back and have a cup o' joe
And watch the wheels go round
'Cause those damned blue-collar tweekers
Messenger of Fear in sight
Dark deception kills the light
Hybrid children watch the sea
Pray for Father, roaming free
fearless Wretch
insanity
He watches
lurking beneath the sea
great Old One
forbidden site
He searches
Hunter of the Shadows is rising
immortal
in madness You dwell
Crawling Chaos, underground
cult has summoned, twisted sound
Out from ruins once possessed
fallen city, living death
fearless Wretch
insanity
He watches
lurking beneath the sea
timeless sleep
has been upset
He awakens
Hunter of the Shadows is rising
immortal
in madness You dwell
Not dead which eternal lie
stranger eons Death may die
drain you of your sanity
face The Thing That Should Not Be
fearless Wretch
insanity
He watches
lurking beneath the sea
timeless sleep
has been upset
He awakens
Hunter of the Shadows is rising
immortal
Fellow colleagues, distinguished members of the press, ladies and gentlemen
I would like to take this opportunity to personally and humbly thank each and every one of you
For joining us at this particular event
It is my hope that we can utilize this meeting of the minds
To successfully convey the essence of our platform to you, a grand and noble audience
As I look out among the faces, I reflect
Finding console in the words of Franklin Delano Roosevelt who said,
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself"
Paranoia is a disease unto itself, and may I add, the person standing next to you
May not be who they appear to be, so take precaution
A mind is a terrible thing to waste, this is true
Many a young person has fallen prey to the substances that alter the perspective
Of any right thinking individual
The problem with the youth today is, because of their inexperience with the world,
They cannot attempt to grasp the ideals set forth by myself and those who preceded me
But, as history has show, they will come around and embrace our philosophies
Through the door it slithers in,
Accompanied by its peers.
Always groveling for attention,
While no one really gives.
In its mind it's full of wit
And quite the social king.
It plants itself among the rest,
Who give it deadly state.
It's just a matter of opinion
Further now theres a man of taste.
Of talent and precision.
To work and strive his years are fogged
Has been his life's compensation.
The stage is set. The perfect show
Is put before the mass.
Only to be ridiculed
by some slimy, pompous snake.
There was this kid in our neighborhood
His Pop had named him Renegade
He lived up to his name
With all the trouble that he made
One day ol' Renegade
Snuck into the Park Theater downtown
For a laugh he set fire to the screen
Burnt the whole damn place to the ground
He thought that no one would mind
He did that sort of thing all the time
But his Pop was waitin' for him
At age fifteen Renegade
Stole a tow truck from Arnie's Shell
Drove it through the front of a hardware store
Spent the night in a county jail
He didn't seem to mind a bit
The Earth it did crack open
on the day that I was born
and a thousand merry pranksters
came dancin' through the storm.
I lay cradle bound
a howlin' out my mind
not knowin' years to come
I'd be shoutin' over din
I sucked information through the holes in my skull
as my belly gurgles hungry my mouth is always full.
I am Antipop; I'll run against the grain till the day I drop.
I am the Antipop; the man you cannot stop.
As a young man,
I plug into the tube,
but the stench of all that pretense
I cannot muddle through.
I lay on my back
and scan the radio
all that comes out my speakers
is a steady syrup flow.
I suck information through the holes in my skull
as my belly gurgles hungry my mouth is always full.
I stood by watching
and I seen 'em come and go.
I seen 'em make that million
then vanish in the snow.
They come upon you
like a pack of rabid hounds
as they slobber in your ears
and purge you with their sounds.
Pushing misinformation through the holes in my skull
my belly gurgles nauseous and still my mouth is full.
I am Antipop; I'll run against the grain till the day I drop.
Why do we do this C.G. and I?
Every night vegetables,
Minds numbed up by THC.
I've got my pen, C.G. the remote.
Laurel and Hardy's the best bet at four A.M. On a Friday
No dreads about the working day after though.
Funny thing about weekends When you're unemployed.
They don't quite mean so much,
except you get to hang out with all youur working friends.
Well we got us a spegetti western on 36.
I like spegetti westerns
I like the way the boots are all reverbed out
walking across the hardwood floors.
In fact, everything's got
that big reverb sound.
Well what'll I do now?
Go to sleep.
Pull the pud.
We need new pornos.
Why do we do this C.G. and I?
Every night vegetables,
Minds numbed up by THC.
I've got my pen, C.G. the remote.
Laurel and Hardy's the best bet at four A.M. On a Friday
No dreads about the working day after though.
Funny thing about weekends When you're unemployed.
They don't quite mean so much,
except you get to hang out with all youur working friends.
Well we got us a spegetti western on 36.
I like spegetti westerns
I like the way the boots are all reverbed out
walking across the hardwood floors.
In fact, everything's got
that big reverb sound.
Well what'll I do now?
Go to sleep.
Pull the pud.
We need new pornos.
Ahhhh
Quite a suprise
What an ingenious device
Boredom encompasses my time
I don't know what I should do
Southbound Pachyderm
Indulging a moment of your time
Seldom the breeder of lies
But you won't believe that it's true
Ahhhh
They take to the skies
Southbound Pachyderm
Pinholes through cardboard at the sun
Passing the bucks by one by one
Leaving nothing in return....
Watching the majesty blow past
Shpeculating who should be the last
Savoring my piece of pie
And there is no reprise
Ahhh,they're filling the skies
C'mon kiddies gather round. Who's your foremost friend in town?
From main to maple the name resounds, Professor Nutbutter.
He's the one, the humble one, the Barkley County prodigal son.
Here to serve only you, Professor Nutbutter.
At old Nutbutter's house of treats from jellied jams to sacks of sweets,
There's creamy and nutatious spreads for all.
Chemist, master of entomology the professor for a modest fee
Will cure what ails you, garunteed Professor Nutbutter.
It's alright, don't fear the worm.
C'mon kiddies don't be shy be youthful til the day you die.
The man the myth, the magic of Professor Nutbutter.
He's the one the only one the Meeklybville prodigal son.
Here to help us with ourselves, Professor Nutbutter
They headed southward from San Francisco,
To be with Chuckles and the others.
With electric in the air and peroxide in their hair,
They looked like golden brothers.
They drove a Datsun, an automatic,
The radio blaring static,
He made a face into the light and burst out laughing at the sight.
The hysteria ensuing would dominate the night.
From all the candy, the seats were sticky,
As they were drawn into the grapevine.
Then "Introduce Yourself" came on as they barreled through the gog.
The demon puffing madly on a mentholated log.
They were tired, they were sleepy,
So they parked behind the Roxy.
Adam left to use the phone, so he sat there all alone,
When Adam's voice come beaming through on the radio,
My name is Mud
Not to be confused with Bill or Jack or Pete or Dennis
My name is mud and it's always been
'Cause I'm the most boring sons-a-bitch you've ever seen
I dress in blue-yes navy blue
From head to toe I'm rather drab except my patent shoes
I make 'em shine, well most the time
'Cept today my feet are troddin' on by this friend of mine
Six foort two and rude as hell
I got to get him in the ground before he starts to smell
My name is Mud
My name is Mud, but call me Alowishus Devadander Abercrombie
That's long for Mud so I've been told
Told that by this sonsabitch that lies before me bloated blue and cold
I've got my pride, I drink my wine
I'd drink the finest except I haven't earned a dime in several months
Or were it years
The breath on that fat bastard could bring any man to tears
We had our words, a common spat
So I kissed him upside the cranium with an aluminum baseball bat
Mrs. Blaileen - she was a sixth grade teacher
And she controlled the children
By using humiliation.
The target always seemed to be Donny.
He was a bit slower than the others.
When he was quite young
His mother died at the kitchen table
While choking on some food.
The fashion of the day
Was bleach and tied Levi's.
Donny decided to make some,
But he didn't know to rinse them.
So he came to school a reekin'.
Bleach stenched filled the classroom.
Mrs. Blaileen began to chastise.
She made him feel like an asshole
two feet small.
Oh what a lonely boy.
Don and Ronald
They always stuck together
For they were a bit different than the others
And they were as tight as brothers
Then Ronald moved away.
Now Steven
He was year or two younger
And he really thought he was something.
He liked to harass other children
Or anyone he found outnumbered.
Alone Don walks from fishing.
Steven and his friend they stop him.
They took his hat and they taunt him,
Pimp-slap him with a newspaper.
Don lunged forward with his fish knife
Then ran all the way home weeping.
He gave his knife to his father and
Said "I think I hurt Steve."
She feeds her face with cheddar balls
As my brain cells start to pop
She licks her fingers stares away
Her IQ slowly drops
I pry my eyes as best I can
From that big electric stain
She feeds her face with cheddar balls
And stuffs more nonsense in her brain
Just when I thought I'd seen it all
They pull a cretin from the shelves
And flash that filth under their nails
To make us feel better about ourselves
As they ooze across the screen
Like a pustule gutted troll
We fill their coffers full of gold
And praise the skill of asshole
More on TV
There's gotta be
More on TV
There's gotta be
More on TV
Than just
Moron TV
More on TV
There's gotta be
More on TV
There's gotta be
More on TV
Than just
Moron TV
More on TV
There's gotta be
More on TV
There's gotta be
More on TV
Than just
Moron TV
That one's famous for a sex tape
That one's famous from her dad
That one had more babies
Than anyone's ever had
That one married a rock star
That made all the little girls squeal
And that one wants to be President
'Cause she's got moron appeal
More on TV
There's gotta be
More on TV
There's gotta be
More on TV
Than just
Moron TV
More on TV
There's gotta be
More on TV
There's gotta be
More on TV
Than just
Sometimes bored and sometimes lonely
Pimple faced and rather homely
He wasn't much for socializin'
The TV kept a mesmerizin'
In one ear and out the other
Picked up a trick from his older brother
Got him a can of sniffin' sauce
Pinned his mind up on a cross
Lacquer head knows but one desire
Lacquer head sets his skull on fire
Lacquer head knows no in betweens
Huffin' on bags of gasoline
Sniffin' paint since the seventh grade
She was high on gin and gatorade
On turpentine she lost her luck
Fell in front of a speeding pick-up truck
He was a boy of soft demeanor
And he loved his carburetor cleaner
The vapor made a sweet aroma
He sniffed himself into a coma
Lacquer head feeds his one desire
Lacquer head sets his brain on fire
Lacquer head knows no in betweens
Huffin' on bags of gasoline
Jilly's on smack, and she won't be comin' back
No she won't be comin' back, for the holidays
Jilly's on smack, and she won't be comin' back
No she won't be comin' back, for the holidays
Jilly left home
Went to pick her own bone
She made her own
In the marketplace
Now Jilly's on smack, and she won't be comin' back
No she won't be comin' back
For these holidays
Now Jilly's on smack, and she won't be comin' back
No she won't be comin' back
For the holidays
Jilly had a smile
That spanned over a mile
She left him standing in the aisles
Of the big parade
Jilly always phoned her mother
Emailed daily to her brother
Til she took a junkie lover
And began to fade
Now Jilly's on smack, and she won't be comin' back
No she won't be comin' back
For the holidays
Jilly's on smack and she won't be comin' back
No she won't be comin' back
For the holidays
Jilly's on smack and she won't be comin' back
No she won't be comin' back
A B C D E F G H I gotta gal wears her toenails long
Drives a red Barracude, singin' meat packer songs
And she ain't from Kalamazoo
A B C D E F G H I gotta 'friend lived in a Mercedes-Benz
Then a '55 Chrysler where the trunk never ends
And the plates say Kalamazoo
He had a steady job and watched what he spent
He'd say I don't believe in payin' no goddamn rent
I'll squirrel away every goddamn cent
And buy my own damn house in Kalamazoo
She turned to the world with a bastard child
Said, "I just can't handle him he's too damn wild'
But the years and the liquor have made him mild
When I woke up this mornin' I felt a pang.
I was hungerin' for some apple pie.
Stumble in the bathroom, hung my hog a little bit.
Washed the sleep out of my eye.
Oh yeah, it's gonna be a fine day.
Scratched myself a bit.
Poured me out a bowl-a corn chex.
Closest thing I could find to apple pie.
Lingerin' taste of toothpaste
Made the milk go down a bit funny.
But you know, them chex they do satisfy.
Oh yeah, this'll be a fine day.
So, after my mornin' rise-n-shine and eat-n-clean.
Had my mind set to hit them streets.
Drizzle from the night left cold puddles out.
Had my black stomp-boots on my feet.
It's my day.
Since I was in kneepants my pop had tried to make me realize.
If I set my mind down to it I could be a big man in the public eye.
So with my big blue collar on, I set out to find the easy way.
What an ice cold bath it was when I found you had to pay to play.
To taste the taste it's a tease that never would subside.
The taste is strong but soured by my learned eyes.
Well, if a woodchuck could chuck wood, he'd get down on his knees to pray.
When I woke up this mornin' I felt a pang.
I was hungerin' for some apple pie.
Stumble in the bathroom, hung my hog a little bit.
Washed the sleep out of my eye.
Oh yeah, it's gonna be a fine day.
Scratched myself a bit.
Poured me out a bowl-a corn chex.
Closest thing I could find to apple pie.
Lingerin' taste of toothpaste
Made the milk go down a bit funny.
But you know, them chex they do satisfy.
Oh yeah, this'll be a fine day.
So, after my mornin' rise-n-shine and eat-n-clean.
Had my mind set to hit them streets.
Drizzle from the night left cold puddles out.
Had my black stomp-boots on my feet.
It's my day.
Since I was in kneepants my pop had tried to make me realize. If I
set my mind down to it I could be a big man in the public eye. So
with my big blue collar on, I set out to find the easy way. What an
ice cold bath it was when I found you had to pay to play. To taste
the taste it's a tease that never would subside. The taste is strong
but soured by my learned eyes. Well, if a woodchuck could chuck wood,
he'd get down on his knees to pray. This little snappy boy might see
I took a ride with the Green Ranger,
stepped up and showed me lots of things.
He'd liquefy my eye and slice it up like pie,
now at night my right ear always rings.
I took a ride with the Green Ranger,
things were not quite what I had thought.
The (Nirvana) city fire, turned my nostril hairs to wire.
That's the night I'd nearly lost the block. (plot?)
[Incomprehensible Piker Banter]
It electrifies the night, it magnifies the sight,
watch out or you might just lose the plot.
Slice me up a big slab of that sympathetic cheer.
If I'm zapped with radiation they say I'll last another year.
Line 'em up now to greet the sacred cow.
My hands are full of protein, my arms are made of fire.
If you're calling me a diplomat, I'll be calling you a liar.
Line 'em up now to greet the sacred cow.
Hello all you boys and girls.
I'd like to take you to the inside world.
It's quite an irregular place to be.
But never fear you're safe with me.
Well, maybe.
Golden hair of macrame'
Against the face that's cut from stone.
The white porcelain is screaming Ayee
Thank God the the boy is not alone.
I don't believe in Santa Claus.
I don't belive in spite.
I have no use for beauty dolls.
Especially on this night.
I don't believe in miracles.
I don't belive in lies.
I don't belive in hologram
For I am the Frizzle Fry.
Andy's painting green again,
This time they might take him away.
When Barrington starts to breathe again.
It way just take us all away.
I don't believe in charity.
I don't believe in sin.
And if you don't believe in me,
We'll play this tune over again.
I don't believe in pinochle
And I don't beleive I'll try.
I do believe in Captain Crunch
For I am the Frizzle Fry.
Felt a pang late one afternoon
I was fishin' off Muir beach
With Larry LeLonde
Grabbed a tuna salad sandwich
And I started to chew
Pretty soon Ler's yellin
Fish on. Fish on
I was just a little pup
And it was derby day
Was dad and me and Darrell
Out in San Pablo bay
Taco flavored Doritos
And my orange life vest
Dad caught a hundred pound sturgeon
On twenty-pound test
Now he fought that fish for an hour
And a half
Darrell'd say "Jump ya sons a bitch!"
And he grabbed for the gaff
When we got him in the boat
He measured six feet long
I was so danged impressed I had
To write a song called
Fish on
T'was a bright and sunny day
It was me and Todd Huth
Fishin' shark & Stingray
Out of Bohuas Lagoon
Well hey, hey, hey I'll be screwed,
Blued and tatooed
Looks like I got me one of them fish on
Bring me back again,
I'd really rather not be out here on my own.
Someone reel me in,
I'm drifting ever farther from my home.
I remember when I was a baby
gazing in amazement at the sky.
Sing it twinkle twinkle little baby
daddy's gonna learn you to fly...
high...
like a coment through the sky.
Bring me back again,
I'd really rather not be out here on my own.
I'm drifting with the wind,
trying to hold the course that I've been shown.
I remember when I was a baby
staring in amazement at the sun.
Better shield your eyes now little baby
no one ever said you were the one;
no one ever said you were the one
who can't be blinded by the sun.
I think I'm blinded by the sun.
I like to taunt, I like to tease.
I'll bring your psyche to its knees.
Juggling.
Sanity is coming to your town.
Who gives a damn what you say,
you're pissing all your dreams away.
Juggling.
Sanity is coming to your town.
Pressing onward through the night.
Del Davis sold a Christmas tree
Stood up to 8 feet tall
Season was lookin' mighty thin
He'd hoped to sell 'em all
Here he comes with a dollar in his hand
Represents the epitomized man
The boy liked rock 'n' roll
Seemed that's the way he paid his way
With the help of Del and them "Doogs"
There's a bit more joy this holiday
The man he stepped up to the microphone and he gave it a kiss, it was a big wet, slippery kiss
And he had sweat dripping off of his nose onto the windscreen
As he looked out over the audience he said, "God bless you, God bless you one and all"
The he took a can of Ronson lighter fluid and he squirted it over the top of his head
And proceeded to light himself on fire
Bodacious am a whole lotta' bull over nineteen hundred pounds. He's born in Galry, Oklahoma and he's the baddest sonsabitch around if a Burma bull ever were a super star then Bodacious just might be. He's a cream colored, beefy brawn, full-fledged, four footed bovine celebrity.
Who's gonna ride Bodacious? Who's gonna tame him down? Look out for Bodacious, he's bound to hold his ground. Here comes Bodacious, ya'll just step aside. Big and bad Bodacious takes a toll from those who ride.
Young Bo met a man named Tuff Hedeman at the start of his buckin' spree and Tuff became one of the few to make the whistle bkac in Nineteen Ninety Three.
Tuff tried to ride Bo again at the finals in Nineteen Ninety Five. Bodacious had got a little older and wiser Tuff barely came out alive.
[Instrumental]
Shut up you bastards!
He stood in line with the rest
And waited got his chance
To take his place behind the glass
And watch the ladies dance
It's the nature of things
He stepped into the darkened space
The air was thick and warm
He drops the coins in one by one
The scene unfolds before him
He stands looking eye to thigh
As she looks down from above
Only to be recognized
As his former love
It's the guy from the Hamburger Train, mate!
[Instrumental]
I pull the blinds then I take my clothes off
Dance around the house like nature boy
My genitalia and pectoral muscles aren't quite what I would like them to be
But you don't see me
No one can see me
I pull my blinds
Fill out my income tax form
Pen in hand I write so legibly
I have my kitty. His name is Allowishus, I stroke him
But you don't see me
No one should see me
I pull the blinds
For the sun glares off my tele and I find it quite so irritating
I have my videos-loads of Ren and Stimpy
Bottom-a bit of pornography
But you don't see me
No one should see me
I've been persecuted since I sailed in through the door!
And I've been known to sing a song in 3 and 4 and 5!
By the light of the lamp I sit to type-my notes on tab at my side
I don't see the sun much these days
A fluorescent tan covers my hide
How much impact shall I have this time?
My goal today is to reac the deadline
I write between the lines
I deal with fantasy
I report the facts
Give them to me, please
Ham and egg sald on white bread keeps me company on nights like this
A pack of metholated cigarettes keeps my air nice and thick
When I write, words flow like coins from a candy box
Get out of my way
I've got something to say
The pulse is beating louder now
The cramps in my hands grow more intense with each
Tik, tik, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap on the keys
My social life is at an end so it seems to be
Why don't I trample on your lawn today?
I'll take skies of blue, turn over skies of grey
I write between the lines
I deal with fantasy
I am the pressman
Acknowledge me
Mother always told me never stray too far from home
The little lady said, "Boy, you'll never have to be alone,
Because,"
You build with fountain pen
You create the memory stain
You are the pressman
[Instrumental]
Messenger of Fear in sight
Dark deception kills the light
Hybrid children watch the sea
Pray for Father, roaming free
fearless Wretch
insanity
He watches
lurking beneath the sea
great Old One
forbidden site
He searches
Hunter of the Shadows is rising
immortal
in madness You dwell
Crawling Chaos, underground
cult has summoned, twisted sound
Out from ruins once possessed
fallen city, living death
fearless Wretch
insanity
He watches
lurking beneath the sea
timeless sleep
has been upset
He awakens
Hunter of the Shadows is rising
immortal
in madness You dwell
Not dead which eternal lie
stranger eons Death may die
drain you of your sanity
face The Thing That Should Not Be
fearless Wretch
insanity
He watches
lurking beneath the sea
timeless sleep
has been upset
He awakens
Hunter of the Shadows is rising
immortal
in madness You dwell
(James Hetfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammett; Creeping Death Music, ASCAP)
[Instrumental]
A B C D E F G H I gotta' gal wears her toenails long.
Drives a red Barracuda, singin' meat packer songs
And she ain't from Kalamazoo.
A B C D E F G H I gotta' friend lived in a Mercedes-Benz.
Then a 55 Chrysler where the trunk never ends/
And the plates say Kalamazoo.
He had a steady job and watched what he spent.
He'd say I don't believe in payin' no goddamn rent.
I'll squirrel away every goddamn cent
and buy my own damn house in Kalamazoo.
I knew a guy that mangled his hand,
and he went from pipe fittin' to a hot dog stand.
They say last year he cleared fifty grand
selling dogs round Kalamazoo.
She turned to the world with a bastard child.
Said, ";I just can't handle him he's too damn wild";.
But the years and the liquor have made him mild.
And he lays around in Kalamazoo.
There was this kid in our neighborhood.
His Pop had named him Renegade.
He lived up to his name
with all the trouble that he made.
One day ol' Renegade Snuck into the Park Theater downtown
For a laugh he set fire to the screen,
burnt the whole damn place to the ground.
He thought that no one would mind,
He did that sort of thing all the time.
But his Pop was waitin' for him.
At age fifteen Renegade,
stole a tow truck from Arnie's Shell
Drove it through the front of a hardware store.
Spent the night in a county jail.
He didn't seem to mind a bit.
He liked the attention he would get.
Snipping, snipping, snipping goes the scissor man
Putting end to evil doers games
Snipping, snipping, snipping goes the scissor man
Maybe you are in his book of names
Maybe you are in his book of names
So be kind and helpful to your mother
Just think twice before you try and steal
When he cuts with sticky silver snippers
You may find the wounds will never heal
All self made bad boys
If you refuse to believe he exist
You won't be frightened when you find out
You're on his list
You're on his list
You're on his list
So be good and never poison people
Just think twice before the deed is done
When you wake up guilty in the morning
[Instrumental]
Your life is leaning downhill
Sloping off the outer edge
Your undetermined oyster beds
Were found to be a hedge
You cause the kids of Elmer Fudd
To feed the farmer whose
Cadaver's filled with onion rings
And feet are filled with glue
Now sinister exaggerator
What's your claim to fame?
Is still your favorite Ferlingetti
Found in Auntie Maim?
Your alter life is superceded
Only from above
Your hear is like a silken sponge
When the going gets tough
And the stomachg acids flow
The cold wind of conformity
Is nipping at your nose
When some trendy new atrocity
Has brought you to your knees
Come with us we'll sail the
There's a time for lies
And a time for truth
I say, eye for an eye
Eye for a tooth
When I roamed young
I'd scavenge around
Every nook and cranny
Of our little town
It's nice, so nice, to be
Pull out the cannon boys
Steal us some wine
Puff Tijuana Smalls
SHAKE HANDS WITH BEEF
She's so fine
She's so sweet
Mom and Pop they raised her
On huge slabs of meat
She's fine
A man of nine
Water derby day
Twenty six pumps
On a Crossman
And it's time to play
It's nice, so nice, to be
Pull out the cannon boys
Steal us some wine
Puff Tijuana Smalls
Sgt. Baker is my name
I'm gonna teach you how to play the game
of warfare
Suddenly it appears to me
You got a bit much dignity
For your own good, boy
Yes sir, yes sir.
I will rape your personality
Pummel you with my own philosophy
Strip you of your self-integrity
To make you all just a bit like me
I said right, left
Sgt. Baker here again
And if you calls me "puddin Tame"
I'll stomp you down, boy
Steers and Queers
Steers and Queers where you come
From there's just steers and queers
And you ain't got no horns, boy
Yes sir, yes sir
I will rape your personality
Pummel you with my own philosophy
Strip you of your self-integrity
To make you all just a bit like me
In the year of our Lord
Call it 1994
A fine vintage of mimicry
There are those that take their sound
From someone else's Toil
Liking to parrots you see
I've seen the likes of Kate Bush
And Van Morrison
Teaching the parrots to sing
Take a Zepplin riff
And you alter it a bit
And make lots of money
It's called plagiarism
You want some of that cheese
Just take a big ol' bite
Careful not to choke on it please
Now here we go
