I can't stop moping - I can't stop crying
I just ain't coping - don't feel like trying
"Don't ditch me," I cry, but this is her reply
She said "Oi mush, you've got the push goodbye!"
Some days, she said they're through, I always knew she'd leave again
Some days, she lied through her teeth, she'll be back with Keith some day
My heart is broken - jilted she blew me out
A mug once again, He's been dumped there's no doubt that
She's gone I'm alone, I must be off my head
Guess I should have known, she's keeping Keith instead
There's a little bear on the loose
* he's a lot of fun
children everywhere are gonna love him a lot
he's their #1
* told them about the things that he's done
and he's going to share all of his music with them
Rupert, Rupert the Bear
everybody say his name
Rupert, Rupert the Bear
everybody come and join
Oh I never sneeze when you're around,
and you never think I have a cold,
but when I'm all alone I I Ityshoo I need,
you and a box of handkerchiefs...
My nose never runs when you're around,
and you never think I have the flu,
but when I really do I I Ityshoo I need,
you and a box of handkerchiefs...
I catch a cold easy
when I'm feeling sneezy,
what I really need's a box of handkerchiefs to please me
It's you I need, you and a box of handkerchiefs...
Everytime I go out I get the flu,
I'm okay one minute then I start sneezing again,
I sneeze here I sneeze there I'm always sneezing everywhere...
Oh I never sniff when you're around,
and you never think I'm really ill,
oh but I tell you still I I Ityshoo I need,
Every night I know that she goes to Finos,
and every night I know that she see's him
Every night she holds him tight at Finos
and everynight it's alright for him...
and she goes... La la la la la la la to Finos
yes she goes... la la la la la la la with him,
and she goes... La la la la la la la to Finos
yes she goes... la la la la la la la...
Every night I try to get into Finos
and every night they just won't let me in,
and everynight I watch him meet her at Finos
and every night it's alright for him...
One of these nights I'm gonna get into Finos
and one of this nights I'm gonna make her see me,
and every night I'm gonna get into Finos
Insanity is everywhere,
it's a pity it's everywhere we go... we're mad John,
sirens are wailing everywhere,
wars underway...
Down comes a bomb from the sky to the ground,
the score's two one it's the enemy's round,
but we'll all be dead coz the whole world's gone...
HELLBOUND!
We're Mad... ca ca ca crazee,
We're Mad... la la la looneys too,
We're Mad... ca ca ca crazee,
Ca ca ca crazee now... Lookout!
Ten thousand soldiers everywhere,
guns on their shoulders everywhere they go... they're mad John!
always a battle everywhere,
madness again Hey!
The wives back home looking after baby,
cry when they see that on the T.V.
their love's been shot, but tonight they made,
HISTORY...
Down comes a bomb from the sky to the ground,
the score's two one it's the enemy's round,
but we'll all be dead coz the whole world's gone...
HELLBOUND!
We are mad it's clear again, that it will always be the same,
it's a fact but really is a shame, that we're Mad Mad Mad Mad
Were 21 Today, 21 Today
We've got the key to the door
never been 21 before
Father says we can do as we like
Mother says the same
We're a bunch o'weirdos
I didn't have a spin dryer so I had to go
he didn't have a spin dryer so he had to go
with his dirty socks and undies o, o, o, o, oh
to the cleaners on the corner, but how was I to know
they'de be more dirty at 3:30 oooooh
Rub a dub a dub dub we wash and scrub
we wash your laundry,
Rub a dub a dub dub we wash your laundry..
They say my clothes are cleaner
but I'm not a lunatic
they should be shot they have not got
Per-sil Auto-matic
Rub a dub a dub rub a dub a dub dub...
So many things go missing at the Ashbrooke Launderette
so many things go missing at the Ashbrooke Launderette
the clothes that you have left dirty and wet
So if you want some washing done
d, d, d, d, don't forget,
you'll suffer at the Ashbrooke Lauderette...
You'll stink, your clothes shrink
your white'sll be as black as ink
your best red jumper turns to pink
all crumpled up and wet
We've been, have you been
to get your dirty washing clean
Are you clean you couldn't have been
Billy's confused he's been abused,
Billy's bemused with Barbara,
she went with Billy but he's so silly
she's finished with him now.
All the wedding plans have gone down the drain
will Billy ever see Babs again?
He's a silly Billy,
why can't Billy not see?
that Babs is just a slag she's a dirty bag
she just wants his willy
but poor Billy can't see
that she's a trollop & he's a silly Billy
Babs is back she's got the knack
knows how to wrap him round her finger
her little finger
a kiss and a cuddle now Billy's in a muddle
coz Babs has gone again
Now what's gonna happen to the honeymoon?
She's a worky ticket I bought her a King cone
and she woudn't lick it
she wanted the chocolate one but when I got there
they'd all gone.
yeah she's a worky ticket everywhere we go
Worky ticket
leaves me standing in the rain
and freezin in the snow
Worky ticket everywhere we go
Worky ticket, worky ticket...
sent me up the pub for 20 L and B
but when I got back all she did was yell at me
she was sittin watchin Charles Dichens on the box
what's that funny smell ya better go and wash yer socks
I couldn't bear it could not take it any more
grabbed me coat and me hat and slipped out of the door
She's a little worky ticket I bought her a watch and
she wouldn't fit it
I fixed if meself, it smashed upon the shelf
She looks so grand a one night stand maybe
I took my chance I said "let's dance baby"
How was he to know, she would never let him go
Back at my place, in an embrace, we were
And stuck together I could never leave her
If he only knew, he'd fallen for a tube o' super glue
She's a leech - she's my shadow, she won't let go, NA NA NA NA
She's a leech - she's schizophrenic, she's magnetic, NA NA NA NA, stuck on me
Life's been hell since she got welded to me
I go nowhere unless she's there, ooeee
Can't escape this one, skintight fatal attraction
she sucked me dry
Twas fortunate when my best mate wooed her
He's a blockhead he's been bonded to her
Nobody loves me, nobody cares
Nobody invites me to the party - we don't want him there
Introverted, we stay
Sittin all alone his night is so sad - he ain't got no mates
Don't say a word, don't say a word, don't say a word to me
My oh my, I just don't know why,
Tell me why, oh why I'm a lonesome guy
Down they point everyone stares
I'm a lonely bastard there's
Nowt more, nowt more lonely than me
Nowt more, nowt more lonely than me
Nobody calls me nobody phones
Nobody ever sends a postcard to me - I'm always alone
She was at a party I was stuck at home
I was not invited so she went on her own
I will not be long now this is what she said
I'm stood waiting for her I must be off my head
Queen Alexandra Road is where she said she'd be
But was she there to meet me? No chance.
I was going to land her a thump when I see her you see
She's forgotten about me.
It was well past midnight she still dug the groove
I just stood there freezing I couldn't even move
She will soon get sick now want to go back home
There was no sign of her I should have known
Oh riganortis set in, I was a block of ice
I'de even missed the late film starring VincentPrice
Two o'clock she turned up, have you been waiting long?
Peter's moanin' groanin' moanin', he can't pay his rent
But we've all seen Peter's bank statement
He says he's broke, he must be joking, he's doin' fine
IT'S NO SECRET, PETE'S A LUCKY SWINE
PETER'S ON HIS WATER BED & PETER SAYS HE'S SKINT
BUT WE ALL KNOW THAT PETER'S MADE A MINT.
PETER'S PLEADIN' POVERTY, HE CAN'T FOOL ME
COZ PETER LIVES IN LUXURY, HE'S GOT...... Loadsa Money!
Peter's got nowt, he's down & out, he tells me & you
But he signs in his BMW
He's got no bread, that's what Pete said, he can't make ends meet
PETER PANICS IN HIS PENTHOUSE SUITE
WHAT COLOUR YACHT SHOULD PETER BUY? PETER CAN'T DECIDE WHICH
BUT IT'S NO PROBLEM COZ PETER'S FILTHY RICH.
I would rather be Percy, rather than me
I wanna be Percy
I would rather be Percy, rather than me
Percy's got more money, more money than me
I wish I could be Percy
I would rather be Percy rather than me...Rather than me...
We wanna be, wanna be wanna be
We all wanna be you
We all wanna be, wanna be wanna be
Percy we wanna be you
Percy says that he's no more lucky than me
How can he be serious
Percy is more lucky, more lucky than me
Percy's got more girlies, more girlies than me
I'm full o'jealousy
He could spare a girlie, one girlie for me...girlie for me...
He wins when he bets on the bandit,
He spends all night in the bingo hall
He's lucky in the bookies, & you'll always hear him call...house
The Gas supply has been cut off, the tele's on the blink
Billy stinks, he drinks & spews up in the kitchen sink
He's sick of his bleedin' life, & he's gonna smack the wife in the jaw
Billy Mrs cleans and scrubs while Billy's down the boozer
But she's had a belly full now Billy's gonna lose her
She's in her dressing gown, Billy's breaking down the bedroom door
POT... POT BELLY BILL: A Big fat dirty lout
A pig & a layabout
POT... POT BELLY BILL: A fowl gob that's never shut
A fat slob with a beer gut.
POT POT POT BELLY BILL
He's such a hog at tea time, he shovels down his grub
He burps & makes rude noises, then he nicks off down the pub
Between you & me, & Billy's Mrs will agree, he's a swine
It's closing time at the local, & he stumbles out the bar
The drunken lump forgets to switch the lights on in his car
But Billy is a darer, he did not see the Sierra round the bend.
1/2 an hour latter Billy's hospitalised, "Tell the wife to bring some cans in
with the grapes" He cries.
There was Davey, there was Davey,
There was Davey, Happy Davey
His girlfriend's gone, his girlfriend's gone away, ay ay ay ay...
All he wants is a room with the stars looking down across Davey,
The sun and the moon and the sky high are just fine for poor Davey,
There's nothing left, there's nothing left,
There's nothing left to see for poor Davey...
He wants to be, he wants to be,
He wants to be alone...
Why did she love him so? Why did she have to go?
Poor Davey doesn't know, now Davey's all alone...
She did upset, she did upset,
She did upset Davey, Davey, Davey,
If you hoo hoo want a lesson or two,
take a hint you'll pay a mint at...
Modern School, Modern School,
they always say you are doing okay,
it's not true...
Come on everybody sing Modern School of Motoring,
the best place to go if you want to crash,
you will never pass your test,
they say you will but it's a jest,
Modern School just wants your cash.
Out on the road, don't use the highway code,
not with us it's too much fuss at...
Modern School, Modern School,
Jump in and drive you're lucky to be alive,
when it's through...
When the test day, comes around they will say,
just stay cool, that's the rule of,
Modern School, Modern School,
then when you fail, they will say next time you'll sail,
We all believed that Neville
was a f f f fine lad
but when we go to know him better
Neville drove us mad.
Neville is a bighead
Neville is a pain
Neville is a pratt without a brain
What a wally, what a burk
he sticks out like a sore thumb
he's a wally, he's a jerk
nobody can be as dumb
Neville's a hopeless case
he can never pull a bird
Neville's thick and he's got a pig face
Neville is a nutter, Neville is nerd
oh Neville is a nutter, Neville is....
Neville is a nerd.
Neville gets on your wick
Neville is a moron
Neville makes you sick
oh Neville is a Neville is a nerd
Oh Neville's wearing Aramus
and a little touch of Brut,
he thinks he will pick up a chick
in his white trendy suit,
sunglasses in the disco
Nev can't see too clear
he's such a burk, he trips and
spills his beer
Neville's nice to all the girls
but it's just a bluff
Neville thinks he's Jack the lad
but he's just a trendy puff.
He says he's been to Tenerife
and he knows Simon le Bon,
but it's a codswallop
I couldn't wait for my blind date, I did not sleep that night
could I catch the perfect match, would she be Mrs Right!?
A quiet lass so middle class, dignified, meek & mild?
I faced the wrath of a Psychopath & a woman that went wild
Before too long it all went wrong, she wern't the one for me
But I was trapped when I got slapped by a raving loony
She got mean, she caused a scene, I said "You're not my type"
But I gave in, how could I win? As she threw another swipe...ferocoiusly
My wife's a psychopath. Throws a fit then she hides in the bathroom
My wife's a psychopath.Aooeee
My wife's a psychopath.Always on the warpath
After me, mentally deranged!
I'm black & blue, I said "We're through" I'm cuts n'scrapes n'scars
She clenched her fist, I ducked, she missed, so I kicked her up the arse!
She yelled & squealed as I revealed I had learnt some self defence
I smashed her face in, just incase, coz I hate violence...it's not for me
My wife's an psychopath...
God help me what can I do,
my girlfriend's dad is a Vicar boo hoo,
and he won't let me be alone with you,
oh he's a Vicar and there's nothing I can do
God help him what can he do,
his girlfriend's dad is a Vicar boo hoo,
and he won't let him be alone with you,
Wouldn't it be nice to get on with my neighbours
But they make it very clear they've got no room for ravers
Lazy sunday afternoon
I got no time to worry
I close my eyes & drift away
Here we all are sittin' in a rainbow
Cor blimy 'Allo Mrs. Jones, how's your Berts lumbago'
Diddly may...
I'll sing you a song with no words & no tune
Sing in your party while you suss out the moon
...Quiet passage
Roody Doody do, Roody doody di day
Roody Doody dum a Reedy deedy do dee
There's no one to hear me, there's nothing to say
& no one can stop me from feeling this way
Ooooh, ooooo
She's a fibber
she's always telling him lies
he can't trust her
no matter how he tries
she swore to me
that I would always be the one
then she blew me out she's upt and gone
Will she ever change
she won't fib to me again
or will she stay the same way as before
I tried tried tried to trust Tracy
never trust Tracy.. she's not trustworthy
I tried.........
you shouldn't trust...
you shouldn't trust Tracy.
They both agreed she'll meet him at 9:30
she was not there
coz Tracy was with me.
Bored at a party Saturday night looking at Tupperware,
in came a chick who made me quickly glad I was th there,
how could I get the courage to ask her for a date?
Twas such a task for me to ask by then it was too late
Howza bouta... Howza Bouta, oooo she drives me crazy
howza bouta, howza bouta kiss baby!
Why am I such a whimp I thought a soft and skinny puff
For me to ask a kiss from her was difficult & tough
Right that's it I decided to confront the lass,
I started shakin at the knees & tried to make a pass
I lose my bottle everytime I see a girl I like
I start talkin jibberish & she says "on yer bike"
there must be something I can do a kiss would make my day
"I'm so glad" he tells me and you, "It's so sad" we know it ain't true:
Oooh, in Tommy's head
He told me, "I'm head over heels," a phoney
We know what he feels, but Tommy thought he knew:
In Tommy's head, he can't believe
" " " she had to leave
" " " he'll always yearn
" " " she will return
" I don't mind" at peace now he thinks
We ain't blind - we know what he feels - what he always dreams
There's a bloke from Hereford Road
who really makes me groan,
everyday he's at the door
or on the telephone
Why can't he just go away
and leave me here alone
In the pictures in the pub
no one can ever know
just how much a pest he is
he's everywhere I go
It's not fair he's always there
everywhere I go Neal's there,
how do you deal with dddd deal with
it's not fair Neal's everywhere I go
It's not fair he's always there
everywhere I go Neal's there
how do you deal with ddd deal with Neal.
Everyday I cannot eat my grub
or drink or sleep
everyday Neal pulls up in his car
and goes beep beep
What am I supposed to do
about this bloomin creep
everyday I look outside
to see if Neal's about
everyday he's there without a doubt
It doesn't matter where I go
Neal will be there I know
Neal is not a man
Guess who's working on the fiddle
tell me who works on the fiddle
I'll tell you who works on the fiddle
oooo ooo Idle gossip
guess who's just come off the pill
tell me who's come off the pill
oooo ooo Idle gossip.
They must be thick, it's everywhere you go
it makes me sick, I just don't wanna know
about who's in the latest news, oh no.
everybody wants to know the rumours
everybody wants to know the scandle
Idle, idle,......... gossip.
Guess who can't pay their gas bill
tell me who can't pay the bill
I'll tell you who can't pay the bill
oooo ooo idle gossip
guess who I slept with last night
tell me where you slept last night
Steve is tender Steve is sweet
she'll never let him go
Steven made her life complete
That's why I hate him so
Would she ever really understand
I came to Durham all the way from Sunderland,
when I got there I could not believe
she'd gone with that trendy creep called Steve
How could she forsake me and see this puff,
is it coz of me she's had enough
everytime I rang she was not there
I'm sorry but she's out, she's out with Steve again somewhere!
She's in love with Steven, Steven
gonna get even, gonna get Steven,
then she won't love Steven, Steven
gonna get eve, gonna get Steve.
Are she and Steve really in love like she says they are
or is it just because Steven's dad lends him the car
or is it coz I'm ugly and Steven's not
or does he have something that I haven't got
I'm gonna make him black & blue
I'm gonna kick his head in
He's not a thief or a burglar
he never robbed a bank
he didn't commit murder
all Geordie's bullets were blank
Set Geordie free, coz Geordie's not guilty
He's a good guy
the guy they never saw
the coppers were mistaken
Geordie never broke the law
Set Geordie free, he never shot nobody at all.
Geordie, ooooh he's the inocent party
.............. They've locked him away
.............. never shot nobody at all
.............. Geordie's gone to jail.
He never takes any drugs
(only penicilin) when he's got a headache
the fingerprint wasn't Geordie's
Geordie's never been a villan.
Set Geordie free, he never shot nobody at all.
Geordie's got a pistol
it's for self defence
but he didn't pull the trigger
he commited no offence.
Don't want to be Sylvester Stallone - don't push me
Nev-ever gonna star in "Home Alone"
Hamlet, MacBeth, I'm crazy for King Lear
There's nothing more exciting than reciting Shakespeare
Fred Olivier, to be or not to be
Fred Olivier, all for my equity
Don't want to go to Hollywood
I sit alone and play the wood
I quoth Othello and I feel wick
I'm the only one who understands what I speak
I tread the boards till it make me scream
But it was only a Midsummer Nights Dream,
There's more to life than a Shakespearean clone
Fat Bob does not wash or scrub
HE'S NEVER SEEN A BATH TUB BEFORE
When will Fat Bob use the sink?
WE CAN'T FACE THE FAT BOB STINK NO MORE!
A KILLER PONG ON A GATESHEAD STREET
50 DROP DEADY... BOBBY BOBBY
QUICK QUICK QUICK IT'S FAT BOB'S FEET
THERE'S NOWT MORE DEADLY.
Fat Bob's not cleaned his socks yet
HE'S NOT BEEN TO THE LAUNDERETTE BEFORE
Spray Fat Bob's feet with fungicide
HE'S WIPED OUT TWO THIRDS OF TYNESIDE OR MORE
Tyne & Wear have got the blues
The end is nigh on the Look North news
Fat Bob's taken off his shooooooes
Ooh you won't ever see me without a smiling face
diddle iddle I do that's coz I go
Jitterbug, jitterbug, jitterbuggin,
ooh if you're feelin lonely or you're feelin blue
just come with me I'll show you what to do...
Everybody shout HEY! everybody sing HEY!
we're all goin jitterbuggin,
everybody jitterbug.
Looking out the window baby's gone away
don't be upset it's not the end
Jitterbug, jitterbug, jitterbuggin
if you want to jitter-bug then good for you
just come with me I'll show you what to do...
Jitterbuggin meril-y all night and day
always laughin, laugh laugh laughin
jitterbug, jitterbug, jitterbuggin
if you're feelin gloomy, tired or got the flu
You can guess whatlife for Dougy
is like, he wakes up in the street,
No home, no bed, he says he's lucky,
That he can smile and be happy....
Dougy, Dougy, Giro,
Dougy, Dougy, Giro.
People say that he's not worthy
of clothes, that shows that they don't care,
But he does not let this get him down,
That is how Dougy stays alive....
Dougy's inside a bus shelter,
It's raining and a sight to see,
Dougy smiles he's seen a rainbow,
Brighten up you home, it said in the advert
All your decorating done by an expert
How the hell was I to know he's such a dirty sod
I wanted subtle shades, maybe something duller
There's paint on the chairs & the dogs a different colour
I'm the only bloke I know that does have a day-glo scullery...
Dez the demon...never coming back, he's never coming back ooeee
Dez the demon...never get a cheque, he'll never get a cheque from me
Dez the demon decorator
He split a tin o'gloss coz he's a clumsy swine
"I'll paint the carpet pink, I've got no turpentine"
Pink footprints everywhere reminding me
The neighbours came for tea & they began to frown
The wallpaper was cock-eyed, flowers upside down
What the flippen 'ecks that decorating clown done now...
Dez the demons deed is done, my house is an eye-sore
Bumps & Lumps in the wallpaper, paint splashed on the floor
I won't be calling Dez the demon, won't be calling Dez the demon
First of all there was Ray
he went with Deidrie yeh Ray
thought that he was the bee's knee
but now he's left her and she's pleased
and just incase you meet
Deidrie down Coronation Street
she's a slag.
everybody sing... Deidrie's a slag
slag slag slag
Deidrie's a slag
big ugly slag
yeh Deidrie's a slag.
Mike Baldwin came like a flash
he had a Jag U ar and cash
Ken saw them at the flicks that night
neckin on he squeezed her tight
and just in case you meet
Deidrie down Coronation Street
she's a slag...
Ken was next said I love you
why all the o-ther blokes too
Deidrie said what's it got to do with you
it's up to me what I do
and just in case you meet
Deidrie down Coronation Street
Davey's life has changed dramatically, now
We warned him but the daft puff couldn't see
Jack the Lad, but he's lost his credibility now
He's took the plunge now he lives in misery
DAVEYYYYYYYYY Had no choice when the vicar's voice put him on the spot
DAVEYYYYYYYYY Davey's got hitched, Davey's been stitched up, Dave's a clot
Davey's not the Davey that I knew, now
He stays at home with the Mrs, & he never goes out
Davey does what she tells him to do, now
SHE'S A BAG that nags, it's about time he gave her a clout
Davey's anniversary is due now
His face is as long as the river Nile
Davey will not admit that it's true, now
Carol Dodds ahooo is a girl,
she was always happ
ee but now it's crap for her she's met Keith,
Carol Dodds ahooo's in a whirl,
she thinks Keith is good,
but I knew he would leave herrrrrrrrr
She is getting fat her belly's got a lump in it,
Keith must have done that, you never see him now,
poor Carol does beg Keith back coz she's preg
nant Carol Dodds is preeeeeeegnant...
Carol Dodds ahoo's getting sick,
she does want Keith much,
even just to touch him would make her feel good,
Carol Dodds ahoo needs love quick,
she just wants to be,
next to Keith you see to satisfy herrrrrrrrr...
Carol Dodds ahoo misses Keith,
she's finding it tough,
though Keith is a scruff she loves him madly,
Carol Dodds ahoo's lost belief,
she told him she's pregnant,
Well it's one for the money, two for the show,
Three to get ready now go cat go,
But don't you step on my blue suede shoes,
Jimmy's running short o' cash, the bar takings have took a crash
Jimmy can't think what to do, the bills in from the local breweryyyy Oi!
Jim's a nutcase round the twist, Jimmy is an arsenist
Jimmy thinks nowt of the cost & sets alight to his own hosterlryyyyy
FLAMES GROW HIGH, IN THE BLAZE OF THE BOROUGH
JIMMY FRIED. IN THE BLAZE OF THE BOROUGH
THE BLAZE OF THE BOROUGH
HEY!
Windows cracked & bottles broke, the bar & lounge were full o' smoke
Things would soon look bright n' sunny when Jim claims the insurance money back
Oi! Jimmy's a crackpot, he forgot, he was trapped inside, the clot
A ring of flames with Jimmy in the middle, he'd cocked up his insurance fiddleoo
FLAMES GROW HIGH. flames grow high, IN THE BOROUGH OHHHHH
You got me outa my head
coz I'm not h, h, h, hunky
you're driving me insane
coz I'm not f, f, funky
well it's a bare faced cheek
calling me a skinny freak
it's a bare faced cheek
you say I'm a skinny punk
Just like we had ffffeared, the mates we had have all dissapeared
Nicky, Flip, Paul, Fat Bob and Ted, they all done a bunk & all got wed
OUT WITH THE LADS FOR A LAUGH AND A BEER, THOSE DAYS ARE NO LONGER 'ERE
WITH A LUMP IN YER THROAT & A SHIVER DOWN YER SPINE
THEY'RE THE MEMORIES OF 1979
WOOOOOOOOOOO THAT'S WHERE WE WANNA BE
1979
WOOOOOOOOOOO THAT'S WHERE WE WANNA BE
BACK IN '79
Flip a punk sssuddenly aged, he sold his leather jacket just to get engaged
Bobby was a skinhead, but Bobby's hair grew, all for a bird who made him bbblue
WE NEVER THOUGHT WE'DE SEE THE DAY, TEDDY WITH A MRS IN THE FAMILY WAY
OH WHAT WENT WRONG? THINGS WERE JUST FINE,
SO TAKE ME BACK TO 1979
Freddie was a free bloke fffull o' life, now Freddie is a bag o' misery with a wife
Everynight George hit the town, by 8'o clock now he's in his dressing gown
THEY AIN'T THE LADS WE KNEW BEFORE, YOU DON'T SEE THEM DOWN THE PUB NO MORE
May I always listen to the anniversary waltz with you
Is this just a dream come true
an anniversary wish for you
May this be the answer to all future years
millions of heartaches and a few little tears.
Out in the courtyard, cold & it's so hard
Now Betty's crying, she wants to die
Coz it's over, die, but she...
Knows that her grieving, it's not achieving
What Bet's believing, he will return
Alecs gone, Alecs gone, Alecs gone
Alecs gone, Alecs gone, Alecs gone
Away oo oo oo gone away oo oo ooo
Down in The Rovers, Bet can't get over
What he said to her, he will return
Alecs gone...
He's gone, done a bunk
Betty's still dreaming, inside she's screaming
Out for the day that he will return
He'll never know why he let Betty go
through the tears, he threw the years away, oh
So long ago and he still needs her so
Alec's back oh, but Betty's gone
And I'm so blue, and I can't see
What I can do, Betty.
Dark and its cold with no Betty to hold
In the Rovers, its all over now, oh
Too late to know, if she still needs him so
Alec's back oh, but Betty's gone
And I'm so blue
and I can't see
what I can do Betty
and I'm so blue...
Alec's come home but Alec's still alone
No pretending it's the ending now, oh
We'll never know more of this tale of woe
coz Alec's back oh, but Betty's gone
Good morning Britain.....
Nobody can believe what the sun's gonna be.....
A married chap....
been having it off with Annie now Annie's feeling crap..
cause Annie's been left in the craaaa
She doesn't care...
cause Annie's been putting herself about everywhere
We all agree... Annie is a scrubber get her of the T.V.
Russel Grant and Jimmy Grieves and Gorden Honycombe
Nick Kelly they all agree send Annie back home...
Annie, Annie, get the dodgy boiler off the T.V.
Annie, Annie, now we're not fond of Annie Diamond
get her off, get her off.... of the T.V.
We're really sick....
Annie was a canny lass and now she's up the stick
We couldn't tell....
but now we can we know that Annie's a dirty Jezabel
Russel Grant and Jimmy Grieves....
She used to have a thousand fans that really used to spoil her
until they found out that Anne's a dodgy boiler...
Alfie, can see
Johnny and Freddie outside the Bronx
and he, will be
happy with this memory
And it's all echoes, where Alfie goes
the Bronx is in his head
Alfie's home is through, the life he knew
has all gone down... with the Bronx
Alfie, sadly
misses the only true friends that he had
now he, can't see
himself ever being happy
Alfie's home in the Bronx
he belongs in the Bronx
Alfie, now he
Johnny and Freddie remember the Bronx
and the family
Jimmy lives his life for charity
Jimmy's got no wife just an O.B.E.
Everybody depends on Jimmy
Jimmy's getting a little cheesed off
Jimmy reckons they've all enough
If they want Jim it's tough
Coz when you're Jimmy Saville
Woooooo
Everybody thinks yer brill
Think yer brill
But Jim'll Fix It's to be done
Woooooo
Then that bleedin' Great North Run
The Great North Run
No it's never too much fun for James
Jimmy does get up at 4:30
But Jimmy does not get time for breaky
He's not complaining, Jimmy's training
Somebody's sponsoring Jim again
So Jimmy bites his tongue & counts to ten
"Oh stuff this" Jimmy snarles
Coz when you're Jimmy Saville...
For James there's no time off, Jimmy's in deep
For James there ain't no sleep
When you're...
Jimmy, Jimmy Saville oo oo Jimmy Saville
Jimmy Saville
Yesterday, Huey's lips were smiling
Yesterday, when Huey was around
She would never have no fear
when she knew Huey was ere'
She still hears the sound...
Yesterday, Huey's voice a calling
Yesterday, Help me Huey cries
The day that Huey dies.
When the night grows cold and the wind blows cruelly A HA
then bitting lonely chill goes through me
And it feels so bad, so sad that OOEEE A HA
Shes never gonna have what she had with Huey.
Yesterday, She & Huey laughing
Yesterday, a life with Huey's charms
a life in Huey's arms
and the night grows cold...
Yesterday, Huey's heart was beating
Yesterday, she still had Huey
Yesterday, she will keep repeating
Yesterday, 'Bring Huey back to me'
'Bring me back Huey'
We fight fot the Queen & country & we're back here again
OVER THE HILLS TO THE BATTLEFIELD 10 THOUSAND MARCHING MEN
We never say surrender butnow we must admit
SHOVE THE ROTTEN REGEMENT WE'RE OFF ON A MOONLIGHT FLIT
HO TALLY HO! THE BATTLE CRY OH! WE'RE OFF DOWN THE PUB
HO TALLY HO! A PINT & DECENT GRUB.
Down in the valley we can see
THE MEN MARCHING FOR VICTORY
We'll skip the blood on the battlefield
STUUF ALL THE BRAVERY... COZ WE QUIT THE CAVALRY.
We're shot injured & wounded, they call us men of war
IT'S TOO NOISY & DIRTY & WE CAN'T TAKE NO MORE
No bath or battlefield shower & people say we're brave
BUT NOW WE'RE GONNA DO A BUNK FOR A DECENT WASH N' SHAVE
HO TALLY HO!....
SHOOT DON'T SHOOT This is not the life for me
SHOOT DON'T SHOOT It's not my cup o' tea.
Kick his head, smash his face & do a bunk with his brief case
Shoplifting for a lark, walk on the grass in the park
In the restaurant loads o' nosh, stuff yer face & leave no dosh
We are skint but we're alright, a different burglary each night
NO LITTLE BLUE LIGHT, THERE'S NOT A COPPER IN SIGHT NO MORE..
You can commit any crime you please
YOU WON'T GET NICKED IN SUNDERLAND, THE COPPERS ARE SOFTIES
They hide when there's a thief or rogue at large
WHEN THEY GET HIT THEY RUN & TELL THE SARGE... A BUNCH O' FAIRIES
Rob a bank, get some bread or be a pickpocket instead
A torch a swag bag with a crow bar, gettaway in a stolen car
Break in to the town hall, spray graffiti on the wall
If you're drunk and disorderly, then Sunderland's the place to be
YOU WON'T GET ME, DOWN WERSIDE CONTABULARY
Run Buck naked in the street, there ain't a bobby on the beat
Raid the local jewellery store, no one to stop you break the law
My mates warned me long ago
She will make you blue oo oo
they said you've been had
Untidy tart they told me so
the home that I once knew oo oo
was a filthy floozys pad
ONE MORE, TWO MORE
Fleas on the bedroom floor
No ones ever seen her, with a vacuum cleaner
THREE MORE, FOUR MORE
Mice unite at the kitchen door
IT WERN'T NO ROTTEN RUMOUR,
HE COULD NEVER MOVE HER
and I never saw her with a hoover.
Ide fell for a hag from Hell
she wernt the one to woo oo oo
In my new hovel.
ONE MORE....
She's nicked off, I'm in a spin
the first thing I shall do oo oo
is plug the hoover in.
