King of the Hill

Hank Hill is an old fashioned, hardworking, beer drinking man who is trying to live in a modern Texas world. His wife is opinionated, his son is a disappointment, his friends are losers, and his Father is oppressive. But through it all, Hank keeps a level head, a strong sense of morality, and by doing so keeps himself "King of the Hill."

Cast

• Mike Judge
• Kathy Najimy
• Pamela Adlon
• Johnny Hardwick
• Stephen Root
• Brittany Murphy
• Ashley Gardner
• Toby Huss
• Lauren Tom
• Breckin Meyer
• Jonathan Joss
• Dennis Burkley
• David Herman

• Season 1
• Episode 1: Pilot
  [Working on Hank's pickup truck]::Dale: You know what the problem is? It's a Ford. You know what For...
• Episode 2: Square Peg
  Peggy Hill: VaaaaaaaaaaaGINA! Oh, Hank... I did it!::Hank: Yeah, the whole neighborhood heard ya cus...
• Episode 3: The Order of the Straight Arrow
  Bill Dauterive: I'm so depressed I can't even blink....
• Episode 4: Hank's Got the Willies
  Dale: Oh my God, I'm out of cigs.::Bobby Hill: Mr. Gribble, who is your number one favorite hero?::D...
• Episode 5: Luanne's Saga
  Hank: He's a football player, and football players know how to treat a woman right....
• Episode 6: Hank's Unmentionable Problem
  USA...
• Episode 7: Westie Side Story
  Luanne Platter: You know, at the beauty academy they teach us that people aren't black or white or y...
• Episode 8: Shins of the Father
  Bill Dauterive: [at Bobby's Birthday party] Well I'm having fun.::Stuart Dooley: Your wife divorced ...
• Episode 9: Peggy the Boggle Champ
  [Hank has a name tag that reads "Mr. Peggy Hill"]::Brent Cobb: Hello there, Peggy Hill. My name's Br...
• Episode 10: Keeping Up with Our Joneses
  Peggy Hill: Only trailer park trash smoke nowadays. Do you want to look like trailer park trash?::Lu...
• Episode 11: King of the Ant Hill
  Hank: You're the only one who can save my lawn, Dale.::Dale Gribble: You're right, I am. The questio...
• Episode 12: Plastic White Female
  [Peggy blames Hank for Bobby kissing a plastic head]::Hank: What? If it's anyone's fault it's yours....
• Season 2
• Episode 1: How to Fire a Rifle Without Really Trying
  Hank: Where's the Children's Gun section?::Walmart-Type Worker: Aisle 47....
• Episode 2: Texas City Twister
  Bobby Hill: Ooh, laundry. Hot off the dryer.::[Bobby rubs a fresh pair of briefs on his face, pulls ...
• Episode 3: Arrow Head
  After Hank finds an arrow head in his lawn, Peggy gives a archaeologist permission to have an archae...
• Episode 4: Hilloween
  Hank: You know, Bobby, I'm suddenly reminded of a Bible quote: "Do unto others"....
• Episode 5: Jumpin' Crack Bass
  Storekeeper: This fella never went to school. He grew up in the hills, but he wrote the book on home...
• Episode 6: Husky Bobby
  [upon finding Luanne in bed with a boy]::Hank: I'm in a crisis situation; I gotta go find Bobby. You...
• Episode 7: The Man Who Shot Cane Skretteburg
  Hank Hill: It's OK if you only know three chords, but God, put 'em in the right order!...
• Episode 8: The Son That Got Away
  Kahn: It makes me nervous, that Joseph with Kahn Jr. His whole family like a Tennessee Williams play...
• Episode 9: The Company Man
  M.F. Thatherton: Aren't you gonna introduce me to your golden-throated friend here?::Hank: Sure, I'l...
• Episode 10: Bobby Slam
  Kahn: Congratulations, you follow trail of clues that start with same last name. Where did you get t...
• Episode 11: The Unbearable Blindness of Laying
  [holding a big foam "#1" finger]::Bobby Hill: Does this finger match these short pants?...
• Episode 12: Meet the Manger Babies
  [the TV channel keeps changing for no reason]::Hank: What's going on?::Bill Dauterive: I don't know,...
• Episode 13: Snow Job
  USA...
• Episode 14: I Remember Mono
  Hank: Does Bobby have a girlfriend?::[Reads Valentine]::Hank: "Happy Valentine's Day, Joseph. Love B...
• Episode 15: Three Days of the Kahndo
  Hank: This river is filthy. Look at this, underwear floating around.::Dale Gribble: [Off camera] Uh,...
• Episode 16: Traffic Jam
  [at a stand-up show, Bobby is making fun of his dad]::Hank: Sit down, son. They're not laughing with...
• Episode 17: Hank's Dirty Laundry
  Hank Hill: Who's calling me a liar, you or the machine? Cause I wanna know who's ass to kick!::Clerk...
• Episode 18: The Final Shinsult
  USA...
• Episode 19: Leanne's Saga
  Peggy Hill: It was like a knife in his heart when she stuck that fork in his back....
• Episode 20: Junkie Business
  Mr. Strickland: Hell, I'd kill for a big fat blind gay guy if we could just get some work done aroun...
• Episode 21: Life in the Fast Lane, Bobby's Saga
  Hank: Bobby, if you weren't my son, I'd hug you....
• Episode 22: Peggy's Turtle Song
  Bobby Hill: There's some milk in the fridge that's about to go bad...::[breathes in]::Bobby Hill: an...
• Episode 23: Propane Boom
  Luanne Platter: [to Hank] Unca Hank what does BTU mean?::Hank Hill: British Thermal Unit.::Luanne Pl...
• Season 3
• Episode 1: Death of a Propane Salesman
  Peggy Hill: [hysterical] My husband is in there! He had to take this job because nobody else would h...
• Episode 2: And They Call It Bobby Love
  Bobby Hill: [Marie has taken Bobby outside of the house from the party after he had turned off the m...
• Episode 3: Peggy's Headache
  USA...
• Episode 4: Pregnant Paws
  Hank's desperation attempts of getting his dog pregnant aggravate Peggy. Peggy becomes especially up...
• Episode 5: Next of Shin
  USA...
• Episode 6: Peggy's Pageant Fever
  USA...
• Episode 7: Nine Pretty Darn Angry Men
  Kahn: I am everywhere you want to be, Hank Hill....
• Episode 8: Good Hill Hunting
  Hank Hill: [disappointed at a customer service counter] Forget number seven - you're now serving non...
• Episode 9: Pretty, Pretty Dresses
  Bill Dauterive: Dale I have to tinkle::Dale Gribble: Not on my watch! [cocks a shotgun]...
• Episode 10: A Fire-fighting We Will Go
  Bobby Hill: Oh. Spoons. Can I assume the potatoes will be mashed tonight?...
• Episode 11: To Spank with Love
  Dale Gribble: [to Hank] My son is dreaming about getting spanked by your wife.::Bill Dauterive: Well...
• Episode 12: Three Coaches and a Bobby
  Bobby Hill: Why do you hate what you don't understand, Dad?::Hank: I don't hate you, Bobby.::Bobby H...
• Episode 13: De-Kahnstructing Henry
  Hank: What can I do for you, Kahn?::Kahn: Haven't they replaced you with a coin operated machine yet...
• Episode 14: The Wedding of Bobby Hill
  Bobby Hill: Please, Dad, I don't want to marry Luanne.::Hank: Well, it's a little late for that. You...
• Episode 15: Sleight of Hank
  Hank: [in horror] You painted Clouds?::Bobby Hill: White puffy clouds!...
• Episode 16: Jon Vitti Presents: 'Return to La Grunta'
  Middle-Aged Drink Girl: They think 'cause I'm a woman I'm supposed to be "Miss Merry Sunshine". Well...
• Episode 17: Escape from Party Island
  Hank: I just got done spending the day with 500 years of old lady...
• Episode 18: Love Hurts and So Does Art
  On the wall at the "Show Biz Deli" there is a picture of 'Johnny Hardwick' (qv), the actor who voice...
• Episode 19: Hank's Cowboy Movie
  Dale Gribble: [Hank tells Dale to move his bug truck out of a movie they made to bring the Cowboys t...
• Episode 20: Dog Dale Afternoon
  Hank Hill: [to Dale] You're not touching my mower ever again, you left it out in the street where an...
• Episode 21: Revenge of the Lutefisk
  [Cotton has been accused of burning down a church]::Cotton Hill: Here's how it went down: I went to ...
• Episode 22: Death and Texas
  Peggy Hill: Hank, I'm a substitute teacher. I float in an out of students' lives, and I never know i...
• Episode 23: Wings of the Dope
  Minh Souphanousinphone: Not too much happens in this town. When someone comes back from dead, it get...
• Episode 24: Take Me Out of the Ball Game
  USA...
• Episode 25: As Old as the Hills
  Bobby Hill: There's no way you're going with me to grandpa's. This is the last year he can spoil me,...
• Season 4
• Episode 1: Peggy Hill: The Decline and Fall
  Cotton Hill: I think I'll name him Hank. I always wanted a son named Hank.::Hank: Dad, MY name is Ha...
• Episode 2: Cotton's Plot
  USA...
• Episode 3: Bills Are Made to Be Broken
  Peggy Hill: A doctor once told me I'd never walk again. Now not only am I walking, but I hear his ma...
• Episode 4: Little Horrors of Shop
  USA...
• Episode 5: Aisle 8A
  Hank: [after buying Connie tampons] In fact, this is such a little deal that we won't have to talk a...
• Episode 6: A Beer Can Named Desire
  Hank Hill: So, Gilbert, how do the Saints look this year?::Gilbert Dauterive: Oh, I am more familiar...
• Episode 7: Happy Hank's Giving
  Joseph Gribble: How long are you going to be in Arizona, Mr Redcorn?::John Redcorn: [an American Ind...
• Episode 8: Not in My Back Hoe
  Dale Gribble: [Speaking into a tape recorder] 10:15 Hank picks up Hal::Bill Dauterive: [Yawning] Wha...
• Episode 9: To Kill a Ladybird
  Dale Gribble: [to Hank and Bobby] You thought you could just waltz up and kill me, well so did he! [...
• Episode 10: Hillennium
  Kahn: [watching the Hills burn a toilet paper bonfire] Hey, hillbilly! Those aren't logs, you know -...
• Episode 11: Old Glory
  USA...
• Episode 12: Rodeo Days
  Bobby Hill: [as Hank throws Bobby's clown makeup in the trash] That's Luanne's makeup.::Bobby Hill: ...
• Episode 13: Hanky Panky: Part 1
  Hank Hill: Dale give me a cigarette.::Dale Gribble: But I thought you quit because "cigarettes cause...
• Episode 14: High Anxiety: Part 2
  Hank: I want you to promise me you won't ever do drugs, Bobby.::Bobby Hill: I promise!::Hank: A prom...
• Episode 15: Naked Ambition
  [Bobby saw Luanne naked]::Joseph Gribble: Does she have big boobs?::Bobby Hill: Yeah. This can't be ...
• Episode 16: Movin' on Up
  Dale Gribble: [disguised quite poorly as a repairman who is supposed to be deaf] I couldn't help but...
• Episode 17: Bill of Sales
  USA...
• Episode 18: Won't You Pimai Neighbor?
  USA...
• Episode 19: Hank's Bad Hair Day
  When Jack blow-dries the foam off his head, it strikes the window to the tune of "Shave and a Haircu...
• Episode 20: Meet the Propaniacs
  Bobby Hill: [playing a propane salesman] I only sell C-3-H8. That smells like C-H4.::Joe Jack: [dres...
• Episode 21: Nancy Boys
  Peggy Hill: They're not even a real couple! Did you know she only sleeps with him on his birthday an...
• Episode 22: Flush with Power
  USA...
• Episode 23: Transnational Amusements Presents: Peggy's Magic Sex Feet
  Bobby Hill: [Peggy is upset about her feet] MOm I'm fat. But big deal. I don't feel bad about it. Yo...
• Episode 24: Peggy's Fan Fair
  USA...
• Season 5
• Episode 1: The Perils of Polling
  Rooks Epperson: Welcome, folks! Y'all ready for some world-class pig diving?...
• Episode 2: The Buck Stops Here
  USA...
• Episode 3: I Don't Want to Wait for Our Lives to Be Over, I Want to Know Right Now, Will It Be... Sorry. Do Do Doo Do Do, Do Do Doo Do Do, Do Do Doo Do Do, Doo...
  USA...
• Episode 4: Spin the Choice
  USA...
• Episode 5: Peggy Makes the Big Leagues
  USA...
• Episode 6: When Cotton Comes Marching Home
  USA...
• Episode 7: What Makes Bobby Run?
  Hank Hill: I needed to use the restroom, but I couldn't face the guys at the trough....
• Episode 8: 'Twas the Nut Before Christmas
  [Hank finds his son drinking at Bill's place]::Bobby Hill: Hey dad, I like beer!::[Immediately vomit...
• Episode 9: Chasing Bobby
  Hank: This truck has given me 20 years of faithful service and nobody can put a price tag on that. N...
• Episode 10: Yankee Hankee
  We find out that Hank's middle name is Rutherford....
• Episode 11: Hank and the Great Glass Elevator
  Hank Hill: [Slamming a piece of charcoal on the table] You brought charcoal into our house!::Peggy H...
• Episode 12: Now Who's the Dummy?
  Hank Hill: How is it that you know so much about golf?::Bobby Hill: I've seen Happy Gilmore about 50...
• Episode 13: Ho, Yeah!
  [Hank's pretending to be a pimp]::Hank: I am the mack daddy of Heimlich County, I play it straight u...
• Episode 14: The Exterminator
  Dale Gribble: [to Joseph] You keep this up Joseph and you're fired from this family!::Nancy Hicks Gr...
• Episode 15: Luanne Virgin 2.0
  USA...
• Episode 16: Hank's Choice
  [Bobby is allergic to the dog, so Hank decides to make Bobby live in the dog house]::Peggy Hill: Wha...
• Episode 17: It's Not Easy Being Green
  USA...
• Episode 18: The Trouble with Gribbles
  Dale Gribble: [fake forced crying to 'Smoking Sammy Salmon'] My horrifyingly grotesque wife is leavi...
• Episode 19: Hank's Back Story
  Cotton Hill: [handling Hank's prosthesis] Good lord, boy! You're wearing butt boobies!...
• Episode 20: Kidney Boy and Hamster Girl: A Love Story
  USA...
• Season 6
• Episode 1: Bobby Goes Nuts
  [repeated line]::Bobby Hill: That's my purse! I don't know you!...
• Episode 2: Soldier of Misfortune
  USA...
• Episode 3: Lupe's Revenge
  Hank: Peggy, there's a little mexican girl in the utility closet....
• Episode 4: The Father, the Son and J.C.
  USA...
• Episode 5: Father of the Bribe
  USA...
• Episode 6: I'm with Cupid
  USA...
• Episode 7: Torch Song Hillogy
  USA...
• Episode 8: Joust Like a Woman
  Hank: You'll find it burns witches cleanly and evenly and at a fraction of the cost....
• Episode 9: The Bluegrass Is Always Greener
  Hank Hill: [sheepishly] I'm a jackass.::Kahn Souphanousinphone Sr: Stop stating the obvious....
• Episode 10: The Substitute Spanish Prisoner
  Peggy Hill: What if I'm not as smart as I always thought. What if I'm... average?::Hank: Peggy, you ...
• Episode 11: Unfortunate Son
  USA...
• Episode 12: Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret Hill
  Hank Hill: That's a clean burning hell, I tell you what!...
• Episode 13: Tankin' It to the Streets
  Dale Gribble: Ohhhh I am sooo impressed! Have you also downloaded the classified instruction manual ...
• Episode 14: Of Mice and Little Green Men
  [Dale thinks his son is an alien]::Dale Gribble: You're like E.T... Only he was a purebred alien wit...
• Episode 15: A Man Without a Country Club
  USA...
• Episode 16: Beer and Loathing
  USA...
• Episode 17: Fun with Jane and Jane
  Bill Dauterive: Why does everything I love run away from me?...
• Episode 18: My Own Private Rodeo
  'Charles Nelson Reilly' (qv) voiced the part of Bud in the original storyline. In this version, Dale...
• Episode 19: Sug Night
  Dale: [throwing a knife and hitting a mannequin] Get away from my wife or next time I'll aim for the...
• Episode 20: Dang Ol' Love
  USA...
• Episode 21: Returning Japanese
  [Hank's father goes crazy in Japan, due to war flashbacks]::Peggy Hill: There's no problem. He's jus...
• Season 7
• Episode 1: Get Your Freak Off
  Hank Hill: [Looks at lucky-troll on Bobby's shelf] Nudity!...
• Episode 2: The Fat and the Furious
  Dale Gribble: [about Bill in the eating contest] Behold the great American fatass, gorging on the li...
• Episode 3: Bad Girls, Bad Girls Whatcha Gonna Do
  USA...
• Episode 4: Goodbye Normal Jeans
  [noticing Bobby with a dress]::Hank: There better be a naked cheerleader under your bed....
• Episode 5: Dances with Dogs
  USA...
• Episode 6: The Son Also Roses
  USA...
• Episode 7: The Texas Skilsaw Massacre
  Hank: You shut your got-dang mouth or I'll shove that Ditch Witch down your throat and dig a tunnel ...
• Episode 8: Full Metal Dust Jacket
  USA...
• Episode 9: Pigmalion
  [Luanne's crazed boyfriend has fallen into a pork processing machine]::Luanne Platter: Well, at leas...
• Episode 10: Megalo Dale
  [Dale got an anti-infestation job at a local store and calls Hank]::Hank: So, how's the job going. D...
• Episode 11: Boxing Luanne
  USA...
• Episode 12: Vision Quest
  USA...
• Episode 13: Queasy Rider
  USA...
• Episode 14: Board Games
  USA...
• Episode 15: An Officer and a Gentle Boy
  Cotton Hill: In my day the principal was the meanest son of a bitch God ever put on one leg, he'd le...
• Episode 16: The Miseducation of Bobby Hill
  The episode has a somewhat inconsistent look to it. This is because part of it was traditionally col...
• Episode 17: The Good Buck
  USA...
• Episode 18: I Never Promised You an Organic Garden
  USA...
• Episode 19: Be True to Your Fool
  USA...
• Episode 20: Racist Dawg
  USA...
• Episode 21: Night and Deity
  USA...
• Episode 22: Maid in Arlen
  Dale Gribble: You can't take a pigeon to the theater, Bill....
• Episode 23: Witches of East Arlen
  Ward Rackley: The persecution of our kind is on the rise. Perhaps it's time to take our powers to th...
• Season 8
• Episode 1: Patch Boomhauer
  The working title of this episode was Dang Ol' Love 2, and the central love interest was originally ...
• Episode 2: Reborn to Be Wild
  USA...
• Episode 3: New Cowboy on the Block
  USA...
• Episode 4: The Incredible Hank
  USA...
• Episode 5: Flirting with the Master
  USA...
• Episode 6: After the Mold Rush
  USA...
• Episode 7: Livin' on Reds, Vitamin C and Propane
  The title is a reference to the Grateful Dead song "Truckin'," though the actual lyric is "Living on...
• Episode 8: Rich Hank, Poor Hank
  USA...
• Episode 9: Ceci N'est Pas Une King of the Hill
  The title is a reference to a famous painting by 'René Magritte' (qv) which shows a realistic depict...
• Episode 10: That's What She Said
  Hank Hill: [about a fart machine] This is not funny. This is a waste of a good 9-volt battery. How d...
• Episode 11: My Hair Lady
  USA...
• Episode 12: Phish and Wildlife
  Hank Hill: To catch a fish, you must think like a fish.::Bobby Hill: I'm wet and I don't even know i...
• Episode 13: Cheer Factor
  USA...
• Episode 14: Dale Be Not Proud
  The episode title is taken from "Death be not proud", the first words of a poem by John Donne offici...
• Episode 15: Après Hank, le Deluge
  USA...
• Episode 16: DaleTech
  USA...
• Episode 17: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Alamo
  Mrs. Ashmore: I think this will be the last year we do flat Stanley....
• Episode 18: Girl, You'll Be a Giant Soon
  The title is a parody of the Neil Diamond song title "Girl You'll Be A Woman Soon."...
• Episode 19: Stressed for Success
  This episode is dedicated in memory of 'John Ritter' (qv)....
• Episode 20: Hank's Back
  Dale Gribble: Your shoes are untied.::Bill Dauterive: How embarrassing, I thought I removed the lace...
• Episode 21: The Redneck on Rainey Street
  Kahn: I'm gonna hang out in the alley and spend my welfare checks on beer, like you guys....
• Episode 22: Talking Shop
  USA...
• Season 9
• Episode 1: A Rover Runs Through It
  USA...
• Episode 2: Ms Wakefield
  USA...
• Episode 3: Death Buys a Timeshare
  USA...
• Episode 4: Yard, She Blows!
  [after burying the gnome]::Hank Hill: Bobby, we are never to speak of this again....
• Episode 5: Dale to the Chief
  Dale Gribble: [threatening a Texas DPS clerk] I am your worst nightmare! I have a three-line phone a...
• Episode 6: The Petriot Act
  Hank Hill: It says here that the 9220 is 7% more accurate than the old 9210.::Dr. Leslie: Yes, but 7...
• Episode 7: Enrique-cilable Differences
  There are numerous real-life box sets of the Rocky films, but the one shown here, which features art...
• Episode 8: Mutual of Omabwah
  USA...
• Episode 9: Care-Takin' Care of Business
  USA...
• Episode 10: Arlen City Bomber
  When Bobby indicates his desire to eat a corn chip straight off production from the factory, Lucky t...
• Episode 11: Redcorn Gambles with His Future
  USA...
• Episode 12: Smoking and the Bandit
  USA...
• Episode 13: Gone with the Windstorm
  USA...
• Episode 14: Bobby on Track
  USA...
• Episode 15: It Ain't Over 'Til the Fat Neighbor Sings
  Dale: Bill! Bill, you have to be the stupidest man on the planet to think this is a good idea! Have ...
• Season 10
• Episode 1: Hank's on Board
  Bill Dauterive: I have a confession too Hank. In a moment of weakness on a dark rainy night I slept ...
• Episode 2: Bystand Me
  USA...
• Episode 3: Bill's House
  When Hank, Peggy, and Bobby all get the flu, Bill comes by to take care of them and does a great job...
• Episode 4: Harlottown
  John Redcorn: I have a gala....
• Episode 5: A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Clown
  USA...
• Episode 6: Orange You Sad I Did Say Banana?
  USA...
• Episode 7: You Gotta Believe (In Moderation)
  Hank Hill: If you where on the baseball team, keep believing in yourselves.::Kenny: How's that gonna...
• Episode 8: Business Is Picking Up
  USA...
• Episode 9: The Year of Washing Dangerously
  Kahn Souphanousinphone, Sr.: Kahn: Lesson one: Get your own work Monkey! Mine is named Hank Hill. Yo...
• Episode 10: Hank Fixes Everything
  USA...
• Episode 11: Church Hopping
  USA...
• Episode 12: 24 Hour Propane People
  The Frozen Cow ice cream parlor seen in the episode is a parody of Amy's Ice Creams, an Austin based...
• Episode 13: The Texas Panhandler
  USA...
• Episode 14: Hank's Bully
  USA...
• Episode 15: Edu-macating Lucky
  USA...
• Season 11
• Episode 1: The Peggy Horror Picture Show
  USA...
• Episode 2: Serpunt
  USA...
• Episode 3: Blood and Sauce
  USA...
• Episode 4: Luanne Gets Lucky
  USA...
• Episode 5: Hank Gets Dusted
  Cotton's car being pushed into the hole in the ground is a reference to the Cadillac Ranch, located ...
• Episode 6: Glen Peggy Glen Ross
  USA...
• Episode 7: The Passion of the Dauterive
  USA...
• Episode 8: Grand Theft Arlen
  Bill's online Pro-Pain gamer name is TheDozer, a reference to his high school football nickname, the...
• Episode 9: Peggy's Gone to Pots
  Dale Gribble: Get off my property whoever I am!...
• Episode 10: Hair Today, Gone Today
  USA...
• Episode 11: Bill, Bulk and the Body Buddies
  Dale Gribble: Poor Bill. Too fat to work out, not fat enough to stay in bed....
• Episode 12: Lucky's Wedding Suit
  In order to pay for the big expensive wedding of her dreams, Luanne's husband-to-be Lucky sues Dale ...
• Season 12
• Episode 1: Suite Smells of Excess
  USA...
• Episode 2: Bobby Rae
  USA...
• Episode 3: The Powder Puff Boys
  USA...
• Episode 4: Four Wave Intersection
  USA...
• Episode 5: Death Picks Cotton
  Cotton Hill: I saw the Grim Reaper, and I kicked him in the stones and spit in his eye, and told him...
• Episode 6: Raise the Steaks
  USA...
• Episode 7: Tears of an Inflatable Clown
  USA...
• Episode 8: The Minh Who Knew Too Much
  USA...
• Episode 9: Dream Weaver
  USA...
• Episode 10: Doggone Crazy
  Bobby Hill: I am so disappointed. I was going to walk back to the dugout like an Egyptian.::Hank Hil...
• Episode 11: Trans-Fascism
  Dale: Sometimes I wish the government would just ban itself. Wrap your heads around that, fellas....
• Episode 12: Untitled Blake McCormick Project
  Dale: A woman who's perfect for Bill. [shudders] That's a disturbing thought....
• Episode 13: The Accidental Terrorist
  Hank Hill: Peggy wants to buy a convertible.::Dale: She knows you're a heterosexual, right?::Hank Hi...
• Episode 14: Lady and Gentrification
  Bobby Hill: Mexicans have fifteen, Jews have thirteen, rich girls have sweet sixteen... everybody ha...
• Episode 15: Behind Closed Doors
  Dale: [has a keyboard in the alley] I have decided to add musical accompaniment to liven up our conv...
• Episode 16: Pour Some Sugar on Kahn
  USA...
• Episode 17: Six Characters in Search of a House
  USA...
• Episode 18: The Courtship of Joseph's Father
  USA...
• Episode 19: Strangeness on a Train
  Hank Hill: A Chubb Randolph production....
• Episode 20: Cops and Robert
  Bill: I wish I worked for someone who hands out awards, but no. I work for the Army....
• Episode 21: It Came from the Garage
  Hank Hill: Bats are disgusting and evil....
• Episode 22: Life: A Loser's Manual
  Lucky: [to Hoyt] Dad, were you in the state oil rig or the federal?...
• Season 13
• Episode 1: Dia-BILL-ic Shock
  USA...
• Episode 2: Earthy Girls are Easy
  USA...
• Episode 3: Square-Footed Monster
  Dale Gribble: [Watching a Port-A-Potty being drained] It's man's most disgusting act in reverse!...
• Episode 4: Lost in MySpace
  Buck Strickland: What's this Myspace?::Hank Hill: I'm not sure, sir. I think it's a cult....
• Episode 5: No Bobby Left Behind
  USA...
• Episode 6: A Bill Full of Dollars
  USA...
• Episode 7: Straight as an Arrow
  Bill Dauterive: [Looking at a childhood photo] Look how happy I am. That little guy didn't know what...
• Episode 8: Lucky See, Monkey Do
  Dale: So Bill's taking a solo drive across the desert. How much of Bill's body do you think vultures...
• Episode 9: What Happens at the National Propane Gas Convention in Memphis Stays at the National Propane Gas Convention in Memphis
  Hank Hill: Buck and Ray Roy are getting out of control. Peggy, they mooned Elvis' grave! And his poo...
• Episode 10: Master of Puppets
  USA...
• Episode 11: Bwah My Nose
  USA...
• Episode 12: Uncool Customer
  Hank Hill: Remember that polygamist compound? They made it into a restaurant....
• Episode 13: Nancy Does Dallas
  Bobby Hill: That intruder story has me on edge. Used to be the only thing we had to worry about in s...
• Episode 14: Born Again on the Fourth of July
  Hank Hill: What is wrong with you, boy? Why weren't you at church?::Bobby Hill: I *was* getting read...
• Episode 15: Serves Me Right for Giving General George S. Patton the Bathroom Key
  Bill Dauterive: You are going to pick up the can, aren't you, Dale?::Dale Gribble: Maybe I will, and...
• Episode 16: Bad News Bill
  USA...
• Episode 17: Manger Baby Einstein
  USA...
• Episode 18: Uh-Oh Canada
  Boomhauer: I gotta do what I dang-ol' gotta do, man....
• Episode 19: The Boy Can't Help It
  'Brittany Murphy' (qv)'s final appearance on the animated show as the voice of Luanne Platter and Jo...
• Episode 20: To Sirloin with Love
  Boomhauer's license says he stands 6'0 tall and weighs 185 pounds....
• Episode 21: The Honeymooners
  USA...
• Episode 22: Bill Gathers Moss
  USA...
• Episode 23: When Joseph Met Lori and Made Out with Her in the Janitor's Closet
  USA...
• Episode 24: Just Another Manic Kahn-Day
  Kahn Souphanousinphone, Sr.: I could be manic, could be depressed. Real crapshoot....