In a far corner of India, a country where women usually cry out for equality, respect and protection, there's a state where men are asking for more rights. Meghalaya - "Home of Clouds" - is picturesque state with its capital Shillong a regional hub for education and the trend-setter for the Westernised culture that's accepted by most tribes in the country's northeast. The two major tribes of Meghalaya, Khasis and Jaintias, are matrilineal with a vengeance. Children take the mother's surname, daughters inherit the family property with the youngest getting the lion's share, and most businesses are run by women. Known as the "Khatduh", the youngest daughter anchors the family, looking after elderly parents, giving shelter and care to unmarried brothers and sisters, and watching over property. The Khasi Social Custom of Lineage Act protects the matrilineal structure. Some trace the origins of the system to Khasi and Jaintia kings, who preferred to entrust the household to their queens when they went to battle. This custom has continued to provide women the pride of place in the tribal society. Matriliny safeguards women from social ostracism when they remarry because their children, no matter who the father was, would be known by the mother's clan name. Even if a woman delivered a child out of wedlock, which is quite common, there is no social stigma attached to the woman in our society," says Patricia Mukhim, a national award-winning social activist who edits the Shillong Times newspaper. Mukhim says her society will not succumb to the dominant patriarchial system in most of India. "We have interfaced with several cultures and our women have married people from other Indian provinces and from outside India. But very few Khasi women have given up their culture," says Mukhim. "Most have transmitted the culture to their children born out of wedlock with non-Khasis." Matrilineal culture Anirban Roy, a Bengali married to a Jaintia woman whom he met as a fellow student in a veterinary college, says he faced no problem adjusting to the matrilineal culture of his wife's family. "Everyone in the wife's clan made it a point to come and introduce themselves, and invite me to their houses either for lunch or dinner to know each other better. Whenever we face a problem, the members of my wife's clan rushed to our help," said Roy. "As a groom, I enjoyed great respect and privilege." But many Khasi and Jaintia men complain, and some formed the equivalent of a "men's liberation group" called Syngkhong Rympei Thymai (SRT) back in 1990. "Our men now have no roles as fathers or uncles. Since ancient times, fathers have been the protector and bread-earner, but this notion is not so much of a reality in our society now," says Keith Pariat, SRT's founder. "In our society, there is applause and celebration when a girl is born, but the birth of a boy is just taken in the stride," Pariat says. Some tribal families have been switching over to patrilieany, where the father assumes leadership of the family, Pariat says. But he admits such cases are rare. SRT has only about 3,000 members, but most are silent members who are too nervous to publicly challenge matrilineal traditions of the Khasi-Jaintia society. "We hope things will change and we will get a more meaningful role to play in our society. But we cannot force a change," says Anthony Kharkhongor, a SRT member. C Joshua Thomas, regional director of the Indian Council of Social Science Research, says religious beliefs also help perpetuate the matrilineal system. Thomas is based in Shillong and has closely watched the tribal societies in Meghalaya in his long career as a social scientist. "This system will survive because the people zealously guard this system. It has support from many quarters, including the indigenous religious systems Seng Khasi and also from the mainline Christian churches both from the Catholics and Protestant orders. The NGOs in Meghalaya also support this system, " he says. Khasi-Jaintia women, meanwhile, say the men have enough of a role to play in society - if they want to. "Even in our matrilineal society, we treat the fathers as the head of the family, and they take important family decisions. Men are given due recognition even in major family decisions," says Iwbih Nylla Tariang, a female employee with Meghalaya's animal husbandry department. But Tariang is keen that the present matrilineal system stays as is. "Unlike elsewhere in India, we have followed a unique matrilineal society for centuries. Our society in Meghalaya always gave respect to women. The children taking mother's family name is the biggest respect," she says. 'Disgruntled individuals' The social activist Mukhim calls the SRT a "bunch of disgruntled individuals".

• published: 16 Oct 2013
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