After a day of chaos, Hollande says his 'shared life' with Trierweiler is finished

The statement was terse: François Hollande, speaking as a man and not the president, was "putting an end" to his "shared life" with Valérie Trierweiler.

The would-he-wouldn't-he soap opera that had played out for two weeks had finally come to what many saw as an inevitable conclusion. It was over. As the president flew back from an official visit to the Vatican, where he was frostily received, Valérie Trierweiler, his now ex-partner and now ex-first lady, was packing her bags for a two-day trip to India. She will not be unpacking them at the Elysée Palace when she returns on Tuesday.

With Hollande's declaration, her visit on behalf of Action Contre La Faim ("Action against hunger") had been transformed from a long-standing official engagement by the president's companion to a visit conducted by what officials described as an "ordinary citizen".

The statement came late in a day that had seen claim and counter-claim over the future of France's first couple. Le Parisien newspaper reported on Saturday that the Elysée was about to announce the split: "François Hollande et Valérie Trierweiler, c'est fini" ["it's finished"] read its headline. The Elysée flatly denied it planned to make any statement.

The confusion left Hollande, who had promised to "clarify the situation" between him and Trierweiler before flying to Washington on 11 February to meet Barack Obama, looking worryingly indecisive, an image he had hoped to have thrown off with his much heralded economic U-turn 10 days ago. It also threatened to cancel out positive opinion poll results showing his alleged affair with French actress Julie Gayet, 41, had not damaged his standing with the public.

At just before 7pm, Hollande issued his statement: "I am making it known that I have ended my shared life with Valérie Trierweiler."

According to Frédéric Gerschel of Le Parisien, the first couple thrashed out the details of their separation over lunch on Thursday. A long-time friend of Trierweiler, 48, Gerschel said: "The relationship is finished, and they have reached an amiable agreement. She is not going to India as first lady and when she comes back she will not go back to the Elysée."

Trierweiler, who had plunged into "deep despair" and spent a week in hospital after learning of Hollande's secret soirées with Gayet, was said by her lawyer, Frédérique Giffard – reportedly fired after speaking to the press last week – to be seeking a dignified exit.

Giffard told Le Figaro: "It's difficult for Valérie Trierweiler to remain serene in the face of such media and political pressure. But she's aware a clarification is necessary. She really hopes that this matter can be resolved in order to come out of it with as much dignity as possible."

Trierweiler has spent the last week "resting" at La Lanterne, an official state residence at Versailles, but will return to the rented apartment in the 15th arrondissement of Paris that she shared with Hollande, 59, before his election in May 2012, Gerschel added.

"She knows the decision is irreversible. Of course she is sad and this is painful for her but she is trying to look forward. She has plans for the future and is hoping to return to work as a journalist," he said.

Trierweiler met Hollande while he was still with Ségolène Royal, his former partner and mother of his four children. Their relationship became public shortly after Royal lost her 2007 bid to become France's first female president when she was defeated by centre-right candidate Nicolas Sarkozy.

In 2010, Hollande, who did not marry either partner, told glossy celebrity magazine Gala that Trierweiler was the "woman of his life", but the Paris Match journalist was known to be deeply possessive. Shortly after his election, she caused a storm by supporting on Twitter Royal's rival in the legislative elections. Many Socialist supporters found it hard to forgive her for Royal's subsequent defeat. Since then, Hollande's popularity has continued to plummet.

The couple's split seemed inevitable after Hollande was reported to have been secretly seeing Gayet for two years after meeting her through Royal shortly before he was named the Socialist party's presidential candidate. Their affair came to light a fortnight ago after Closer magazine published photographs of the president on the back of a scooter visiting Gayet's apartment. It claimed he had been sneaking out for trysts and showed his bodyguard apparently delivering croissants to the pair.