Consuming meat: worse for plants, worse for animals & worse for you... conclusion? You'd have to be stupid, stubborn, selfish, ignorant and/or all of the above to eat meat in our modern society. ORIGINAL SCRIPT: 1. They have selective hearing. Rod: You realize your risk of heart attack is 50% when you eat meat right? White: So is yours. Rod: Actually I don't eat meat, which makes my risk 15%. White: But it's healthy. Rod: If it were healthy it wouldn't kill you. White: It's good for you. Rod: Do you hear what I literally just said. White: We're supposed to eat meat. Rod: IF WE WERE SUPPOSED TO WE WOULDN'T DIE FROM IT! White: ...it's healthy. Rod: God damn it. 2. They treat unfounded myths like facts to propel their convenient ignorance. Vickie: Dale why are you a Vegetarian? Dale: Because meat tastes disgusting, it's better to be a vegetarian & I feel better. Vickie: But you need meat. Dale: I've been a vegetarian for 5 years, I obviously don't need it. Vickie: But you use suppliments. Dale: No I don't. Vickie: Yeah, but you're all weak and stuff. Dale: Oh really? Vickie: Yeah! Dale: *drops and starts doing push ups* Vickie: You're not proving anything. Dale: Am I? Come push with me. Vickie: That's stupid. Dale: Do it. Vickie: *drops and tries to push* Dale: Come on. Vickie: I can't. Dale: Checkmate. 3. They pretend to care, when they really don't. Charlie: What are you doing White. White: Eating veal. Charlie: Veal, as in baby cow? White: Yeah, so? Charlie: So you just have no soul at all then? White: What? I have a soul! Charlie: You could of eaten any animal, but you chose a baby. White: I need meat. Charlie: If that were true you would just eat the bare minimum, likely animals that made it to adulthood. White: ...ok, so I chose to eat a baby cause it tastes good. Charlie: You sound like a sociopath. White: I LIKE EATING BABIES BECAUSE THEY TASTE GOOD! Charlie: Jesus ****. 4. Many use religion to justify their actions. Vickie: God put animals on this earth for us to eat! Dale: You're stupid, I get it. Vickie: What? Dale: *sighs* **** I hate arguing... but you're really going to use an invisible unproven enitity who was made up thousands of years ago to justify your diet? Vickie: The Bible is sacred, if you don't follow it you're going to hell. Dale: And the Bible says we should kill Gay people soooo.... Vickie: That's different! Dale: Speaking of which, I think there's something in there about cheating wives too. Vickie: I'm leaving now. Dale: Run from the truth, you're good at that! Vickie: **** you. 5. A huge chunk of the people who argue for meat, are unhealthy. White: You should eat meat because you're too skinny. Charlie: Actually my doctor says I'm in the perfect weight group. White: Oh... Charlie: What does your doctor say White? White: ... Charlie: ...White? White: ...she said I'm medically obese. Charlie: Yeah, maybe you should adopt a healthier diet. White: No. Charlie: So just remain fat then? White: ...shut up. Charlie: No really, you're in such good shape, give me more diet tips. White: ...SHUT UP. Charlie: Karma, you kill and eat animals, they eventually kill you back. White: *rips huge fart* Chalie: Well, that's my cue, meat eater farts are rancid. White: *laughs* *hit character limit*

• published: 21 Nov 2013
• views: 49549