A brief history of President Eems
Whilst studying American history at University I read an intriguing snippet of information that made me do some extra curricular research into one of the most colourful but least known of all the American Presidents. I was reminded of this guy when I found out the lolly pop man near my house that I say hello to most mornings is called Percy Eems (although the president was called Flannery Eems)
I'll keep it short as a lot of people think history is boring and in truth there is not a great deal of info available on the man. I have got most of my facts from just three books so apologies for the narrow reference points.
In 1809 a heavily pregnant Pernilla Eems and her husband Aymon (later spelled Eamon) arrived at Ellis Island as immigrants from Dublin looking to make a new start in the land of opportunity. A 4 month voyage that saw 121 of the 700 passengers on board die had taken a real toll on Pernilla and there were genuine fears for the well being of her unborn child. Due to her delicate nature and faint links to English aristocracy (the history is very difficult to trace here but she always claimed that her ancestors - the Sneddons - had been granted lands in Ireland from the restored Charles II) the young couple were housed in a relatively well developed area of New York. The key to the story of President Eems was that he was born on his parents very first day in the States and thereby qualified to run for president some 40 years later as an American citizen.
I will jump ahead now to the actual terms of his presidency and then back fill some of the earlier details as this is fascinating stuff.
President Flannery Eems held office for a total of 17 days. During that time he replaced two supreme court judges, relocated the White house and was alleged to have assaulted 9 members of his staff including the then Attorney General Anthony Slice. The year was 1851.
In 1850 President Zachary Taylor died in office after choking on a fish bone. Taylor was the darling of the north and personally held the union together when the southern state leaders threatened to withdraw over rows concerning slavery in the Mexican states. In February 1850 President Taylor had held a stormy conference with southern leaders who threatened secession. He told them that if necessary to enforce the laws, he personally would lead the Army. Persons "taken in rebellion against the Union, he would hang ... with less reluctance than he had hanged deserters and spies in Mexico." He never wavered. His death in office caused great distress as some predicted it pre-empted the death of the union itself.
Enter Flannery Eems, a low level congressman representing the Lower East Side of New York (which in those times was the congressional ticket of New Conway). His staunch anti - southern speeches had raised his profile beyond his immediate area although his weekly column in the New York Shouter newspaper had won him few friends within the Senate. One memorable tirade in the paper saw Eems naming 25 fellow congressmen as "leaving unpleasant and fetid stench in the tea rooms due to poor hygene and a negro's diet".
But cometh the hour cometh the man. The Irish community foisted him towards running for leadership and the nervousness of the northern state leaders, rightly concerned about the economic devastation of a southern secession, allowed him a clear run for President. He had only two rivals on the ballot, incredibly one of these rivals was subsequently declared inelligible as he had 3 prosecutions for animal molestation. Eems took great joy in declaring "now the pig stroking, horse loving, dog kisser is out - let the nation decide between the good sense of the Irish and the flip flopping, question dodging Canadian"!!! The other rival, Stephen Penn, was not infact a Canadian but he was commonly referred to as such due to his many public appearances in which he insisted on carrying his axe. The party did indeed choose and Eems was given office on a vote of 12 - 6.
And so to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.
Construction ha begun on the White house when the first cornerstone was laid in October of 1792. Although President Washington oversaw the construction of the house, he never lived in it. It was not until 1800, when the White House was nearly completed, that its first residents, President John Adams and his wife, Abigail, moved in. Since that time, each President had made his own changes and additions. The White House is, after all, the President’s private home. The changes made by President Eems were perhaps a little overstated to say the least. He moved it to New York!!!! Of course he didn't physically move the White House but after just 5 days in office he claimed "not to care for the Washington way" and after knocking three state rooms into one to house his planned indoor zoo decided that home was where his heart was and packed up the entire contents and staff to be relocated to New York. He declared New York to be the capital of the Federal states and housed himself in the City's convention centre.
Those 12 days in the convention centre were referred to as "the twelve days America wants to forget" by Douglas Chops in his book "Americas forgotten leaders from Van Buren to Taft". The assaults on staff became commonplace and Eems seemed more keen to host lavish parties than run the country. He had been raised Catholic but held a deep resentment of organised religion (this only came out after he had been sworn in as religion still dominated American lives at this time). The hilariously named Cardinal Puppy, after a meeting with Eems in the convention centre, decared "God has seen fit to punish America by letting the callous lead the hopeful! This man is a charlatan of the highest order and his holding of office will set us back a year for every day". Eems responded to this by using $1,500 dollars of public money to put up the worlds's largest sign on the convention centre which read 'Eems can come true' which had been the slogan on which he had run for President.
The replacing of the judges would have been less controversial had Eems not ousted Lloyd Fairwater, a judge with 20 years experience and the respect of his peers, with his father. Eamon Eems was 73 and had not been legally employed in the 40 odd years that he had been in America. He was also Irish and medically insane both of which technically dis-barred him. Eems ran roughshod over these rules and threatened to use armed force if necessary if any group or individual attempted to stop his father becoming a judge. It is the only example in U.S. history of a declaration of war being drawn up against one man - a Chad Parnellow who vowed to 'heckle every case the man presides over'.
Assaults were commonplace and his staff turnover ran at 375% as so few interns lasted even one shift. It is not fully known whether it was one of these disgruntled staff members that pushed Eems to his death. His death certificate reads death by mis-adventure. America did not need an assisination to deal with and no post mortem was ever taken. Three eye witnesses were 'found' who saw President Eems walking along the railings of the 4th story balcony and is was reported that he fell when startled by a large swallow flying by.
So what a period of time. And massively under reported. I must admit even I hadn't heard of him before university. And there are so few books on him as America seems almost embarrassed by him.
All in all I am just glad to have brought this fascinating guy to your attention. If any of it were true it would be even better but you can't have everything! Now there's 7 minutes of your life wasted.
posted by Patrick Duffy @ 4:53 AM
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