King Ralph (1991)

Actors

• Roger Ashton-Griffiths (actor)
• Paul Beach (actor)
• Richard Bebb (actor)
• Cameron Blakely (actor)
• Terence Dackombe (actor)
• Guy Fithen (actor)
• Gareth Forwood (actor)
• Ian Gelder (actor)
• Julian Glover (actor)
• John Goodman (actor)
• Brian Greene (actor)
• Richard Griffiths (actor)
• Barrie Holland (actor)
• John Hurt (actor)
• Dallas Adams (actor)

Genres

• Comedy
• Romance

Taglines:

A comedy of majestic proportions
When Ralph becomes royalty, laughter reigns!
A great tragedy has befallen the royal family leaving only one heir to the throne...

Quotes:

Phipps: Sir Cedric! Sir Cedric! Good news. We've finally found an heir!::Sir Cedric Willingham: That's wonderful, Duncan. Who is he?::Phipps: His name is Jones. Ralph Jones.::Sir Cedric Willingham: Is he everything we've hoped for?::Phipps: [embarrassed] Well. He has his strengths and his weaknesses. You see, he's::[uncomfortable pause]::Phipps: American.::Sir Cedric Willingham: Quickly, Duncan! The strengths!

Sir Cedric Willingham: Your majesty, may I present the Sovereign King Mulamboa of Zambezi.::Ralph Jones: [seeing that the king is black, using a Eubonics dialect] Hey, homes! Whas happenin'! Gimme quintet, brother!::King Mulamboa: I do not comprehend, Your Majesty!::Ralph Jones: Uh, welcome, Your Majesty. On behalf of the people of the United Kingdom... [uncomfortable silence]::Ralph Jones: Uh, do you wanna go get a beer?

Hale: [Ralph has referred to Princess Anna as a 'fox'] I'm glad you find her so. Best wishes in your fox hunting.::King Gustav: Fox hunting? You like fox hunting, yes.::Ralph Jones: Well, I don't get out much lately. But I used to go out almost every evening. One club or another.::King Gustav: Really? That often? You must have collected several tails.::Ralph Jones: [shocked] Well, I admit I slept with a few. But I'm not like that anymore. Nowadays you can't be too careful. You don't know who they've been with.::King Gustav: No, I suppose not.::Ralph Jones: Yeah, once I got a steady girl, that put an end to it.::King Gustav: She did not like fox hunting?::Ralph Jones: Of course not! Anna's not into it, is she?::King Gustav: Oh, yes! She loves it! Most royals do.

Lord Percival Graves: [after Ralph accuses Graves of undermining him] This is an OUTRAGE! A VILE piece of slander! I demand to know the source of these allegations!::Ralph Jones: We have the signed confession of a royal page, Gordon Halliwell, who worked with Lord Graves.::Lord Percival Graves: I know NO SUCH MAN!::Ralph Jones: And several cheques made out to the photographers who took the pictures, signed by Lord Graves. Whose fingerprints were also on the photographs.::Lord Percival Graves: So! I saw them at the ball!::Ralph Jones: And Scotland Yard found the negatives at his house this morning.::Lord Percival Graves: [realizes he's been caught] By what right can you order my arrest!::Ralph Jones: By the Treason Act of 1702 forbidding interference in the proper succesion of a monarch. Enacted by...::[pause, as he recites the Order of the Kings poem to himself]::Ralph Jones: William III!::various Members of Parliament: [staggered throughout Parliament as Lord Graves is escorted out by Scotland Yard] SHAME! SHAME! SHAME! SHAME!::Dysentery: [watching on TV] That's right! String him up! Wanker!

Sir Cedric Willingham: It is far easier to whisper advice from cover than to risk it's merit at the point of attack.

Sir Cedric Willingham: We'll put the velour industry on full standby.

Sir Cedric Willingham: How's it going, Your Majesty?::Ralph Jones: Great. We've got nothing in common and she's got a voice like a tuba. If she had her way, we'd have sex on a bed of nails on national television. But at least the party stinks.

Sir Cedric Willingham: It's I who should be thanking you. You showed me how to be a king.::Ralph Jones: Me? I was a lousy king.::Sir Cedric Willingham: On the contrary. You are a good and decent man, and you've acted honorably. I shall try to follow your example.::Ralph Jones: Thank you, Ced.

Sir Cedric Willingham: It's not enough simply to be the king. You must look and act like one.

[reciting some rules of etiquette to Ralph on videotape]::Phipps: When in public, a royal personage must refrain from chewing gum, using profanity, picking his nose, scratching his p... p... p... p... private parts and staring down the bust lines of visiting female dignitaries.::Ralph Jones: What the hell! That's everything!