The DiCaprio Code (2006)

Actors

• Mike Standish (producer)
• Mike Standish (director)
• Deron Sedy (writer)
• Dusty Warren (actor)
• Kate Czajkowski (actress)
• Deron Sedy (actor)
• Troy Fischnaller (actor)
• Andrew Wiener (editor)
• Cory Nealy (actor)
• Andrew Wiener (producer)
• Cory Nealy (writer)
• Andrew Wiener (director)
• David Swidler (actor)
• Josh Knisely (actor)
• Josh Knisely (writer)

Genres

• Comedy
• Short

Comic Relief: Red Nose Night Live 05 (2005)

Actors

• John Cleese (actor)
• Stephen Fry (actor)
• Elton John (actor)
• Helen Mirren (actress)
• Steve Coogan (actor)
• Bono (actor)
• Jonathan Ross (actor)
• Joanna Lumley (actress)
• David Bowie (actor)
• Eric Clapton (actor)
• Ricky Gervais (actor)
• Simon Pegg (actor)
• Lenny Henry (actor)
• David Walliams (actor)
• Simon Callow (actor)

Genres

• Comedy

Comic Aid (2005)

Actors

• Jonathan Ross (actor)
• Eddie Izzard (actor)
• Miranda Richardson (actress)
• Simon Pegg (actor)
• Jimmy Carr (actor)
• Graham Norton (actor)
• Dawn French (actress)
• Jon Culshaw (actor)
• Jo Brand (actress)
• Rich Hall (actor)
• Omid Djalili (actor)
• Jack Dee (actor)
• Derren Brown (actor)
• Jessica Hynes (actress)
• Paul O'Grady (actor)

Genres

• Comedy

Quotes:

Jon Culshaw: [as Russel Crowe] My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius. Commander of the armies of then north, and General of the Felix Legions. Loyal servant to the true Emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband a murdered wife, but that's when I called Claim's Direct.

Performer: There's more evil in our charts than an Al Kaeda suggestion box.

Simon Pegg: I was thinking, why didn't we do another series of Spaced.::Jessica Stevenson: Because you're a wanker.

Dylan Moran: Thanks Jess and Simon. Actors, both great comic actors. [pause] Actors are... terrible people.

Alistair McGowan: Robert DeMatteo, so Italian. You hear that name, you can see the terracotta rouge, you can smell the ciabatta bread, you can hear those little Vespas going 'phut phut' down Italian roads... Roberto De Matteo... translate into English 'Bob Matthews'.

Zeta-Jones, Catherine Filmography

• Side Effects
  2013, role: actress
• Red 2
  2013, role: actress
• Broken City
  2013, role: actress
• Rock of Ages
  2012, role: actress , character name: Patricia Whitmore
• Playing for Keeps
  2012, role: actress , character name: Denise
• Lay the Favorite
  2012, role: actress , character name: Tulip Heimowitz
• The 65th Annual Tony Awards
  2011, role: actress , character name: Herself - Presenter: Best Lead Actor in a Play and Best Lead Actor in a Musical
• The 68th Annual Golden Globe Awards
  2011, role: actress , character name: Herself - Audience Member
• AFI Life Achievement Award: A Tribute to Mike Nichols
  2010, role: actress , character name: Herself
• The 64th Annual Tony Awards
  2010, role: actress , character name: Herself - Winner: Best Lead Actress in a Musical & Performer
• Hollywood Singing & Dancing: A Musical History - 1980s, 1990s and 2000s
  2009, role: actress , character name: Herself
• The Rebound
  2009, role: actress , character name: Sandy
• The 81st Annual Academy Awards
  2009, role: actress , character name: Herself - Audience
• AFI Life Achievement Award: A Tribute to Michael Douglas
  2009, role: actress , character name: Herself
• Aliens in the Attic
  2009, role: actress , character name: Elena Montero
• Almost Famous II
  2009, role: actress
• Coming Out
  2008, role: actress
• Ceremonia de inauguración - 56º festival internacional de cine de San Sebastián
  2008, role: actress , character name: Elena
• His Highness Hollywood
  2008, role: actress , character name: Herself
• Hollywood Singing and Dancing: A Musical History
  2008, role: actress , character name: Herself
• Hollywood Singing and Dancing: A Musical Treasure
  2008, role: actress , character name: Herself
• Oscar, que empiece el espectáculo
  2008, role: actress , character name: Herself
• Premio Donostia a Antonio Banderas
  2008, role: actress , character name: Elena
• Secrets of Body Language
  2008, role: actress , character name: Herself
• The 80th Annual Academy Awards
  2008, role: actress , character name: Herself
• Coming Out
  2008, role: producer
• Cómo conseguir un papel en Hollywood
  2007, role: actress , character name: Herself
• Cómo conseguir un papel en Hollywood
  2007, role: actress , character name: Elena
• No Reservations
  2007, role: actress , character name: Kate
• Death Defying Acts
  2007, role: actress , character name: Mary McGarvie
• El camino de Antonio Banderas
  2006, role: actress , character name: Herself
• Tony Bennett: An American Classic
  2006, role: actress , character name: Herself - Speaker
• VH1 News Presents: Celebrity Pre-nups
  2006, role: actress , character name: Herself
• George Clooney: An American Cinematheque Tribute
  2006, role: actress , character name: Herself
• Boffo! Tinseltown's Bombs and Blockbusters
  2006, role: actress , character name: Marylin Rexroth
• 50 y más
  2005, role: actress , character name: Velma Kelly
• ... A Father... A Son... Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
  2005, role: actress , character name: Herself
• 101 Sexiest Celebrity Bodies
  2005, role: actress , character name: Herself - Place #81
• From Stage to Screen: The History of Chicago
  2005, role: actress , character name: Velma Kelly
• Tsunami Aid: A Concert of Hope
  2005, role: actress , character name: Herself
• The Legend of Zorro
  2005, role: actress , character name: Elena de la Vega
• All-Star Cup 2005
  2005, role: actress , character name: Herself
• Take Off: Making 'The Terminal'
  2004, role: actress , character name: Herself
• A Look Inside 'Intolerable Cruelty'
  2004, role: actress , character name: Herself - 'Marylin Rexroth'
• Ocean's Twelve
  2004, role: actress , character name: Isabel Lahiri
• The 76th Annual Academy Awards
  2004, role: actress , character name: Herself - Presenter: Best Actor in a Supporting Role
• Steven Spielberg: The Man and His Movies
  2004, role: actress , character name: Herself
• 10th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards
  2004, role: actress , character name: Herself - Presenter: Outstanding Cast of a Motion Picture
• The 61st Annual Golden Globe Awards
  2004, role: actress , character name: Herself - Audience Member
• Inside 'The Terminal'
  2004, role: actress , character name: Herself
• Landing: Airport Stories
  2004, role: actress , character name: Herself
• Boarding: The People of 'The Terminal'
  2004, role: actress , character name: Herself
• The Terminal
  2004, role: actress , character name: Amelia Warren
• The Making of 'Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas'
  2003, role: actress , character name: Herself
• Intolerable Cruelty
  2003, role: actress , character name: Marylin
• Nobel Peace Prize Concert
  2003, role: actress , character name: Herself - Hostess
• Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas
  2003, role: actress , character name: Marina
• The 100 Greatest Musicals
  2003, role: actress , character name: Herself
• The 60th Annual Golden Globe Awards
  2003, role: actress , character name: Herself - Nominee: Best Actress in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy
• 50 Greatest TV Animals
  2003, role: actress , character name: Herself
• The 75th Annual Academy Awards
  2003, role: actress , character name: Herself - Winner: Best Actress in a Supporting Role & Co-Performer: 'I Move On'
• The Orange British Academy Film Awards
  2003, role: actress , character name: Herself
• Celebrity Naked Ambition
  2003, role: actress
• Gala Paramount Pictures Celebrates 90th Anniversary with 90 Stars for 90 Years
  2002, role: actress , character name: Herself
• Chicago
  2002, role: actress , character name: Velma Kelly
• The 12th Annual Golden Laurel Awards
  2001, role: actress , character name: Herself - Winner
• The New Royals
  2001, role: actress , character name: Herself
• America's Sweethearts
  2001, role: actress , character name: Gwen Harrison
• Unmasking Zorro
  2001, role: actress , character name: Herself
• The 73rd Annual Academy Awards
  2001, role: actress , character name: Herself - Presenter: Best Art Direction-Set Decoration
• The 58th Annual Golden Globe Awards
  2001, role: actress , character name: Herself - Nominee: Best Actress in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture
• High Fidelity
  2000, role: actress , character name: Charlie Nicholson
• Traffic
  2000, role: actress , character name: Helena Ayala
• The 100 Greatest TV Ads
  2000, role: actress
• 2000 Blockbuster Entertainment Awards
  2000, role: actress , character name: Herself
• Inside Traffic: The Making of 'Traffic'
  2000, role: actress , character name: Herself
• The Life and Times of Kirk Douglas
  2000, role: actress , character name: Herself
• 1999 MTV Movie Awards
  1999, role: actress , character name: Herself
• The 71st Annual Academy Awards
  1999, role: actress , character name: Herself - Presenter: song 'The Prayer'
• Saturday Night Live 25
  1999, role: actress , character name: Herself - Audience Member
• The Adventures of Young Indiana Jones: Daredevils of the Desert
  1999, role: actress , character name: Maya
• The European Film Awards
  1999, role: actress , character name: Herself
• The Haunting
  1999, role: actress , character name: Theo
• The Making of 'The Haunting'
  1999, role: actress , character name: Herself - Host
• Entrapment
  1999, role: actress , character name: Virginia Baker
• The Mask of Zorro
  1998, role: actress , character name: Elena
• Titanic
  1996, role: actress , character name: Isabella Paradine
• The Phantom
  1996, role: actress , character name: Sala
• Catherine the Great
  1996, role: actress , character name: Catherine
• Blue Juice
  1995, role: actress , character name: Chloe
• The Return of the Native
  1994, role: actress , character name: Eustacia Vye
• Splitting Heirs
  1993, role: actress , character name: Kitty
• Christopher Columbus: The Discovery
  1992, role: actress , character name: Beatriz
• Les 1001 nuits
  1990, role: actress , character name: Sheherazade

• Lyrics: play full screen play karaoke
• In The Arms Of Love - Catherine Zeta Jones
• Hit Me With Your Best Shot - Catherine Zeta Jones
• I Can't Do It Alone - Catherine Zeta Jones
• He's Gone - Catherine Zeta Jones
• Class (Chicago Soundtrack) With Queen Latifah - Catherine Zeta Jones
• Cell Block Tango - Catherine Zeta Jones
• And All That Jazz(Aol Music) - Catherine Zeta Jones
• All That Jazz - Catherine Zeta Jones
• Catherine Zeta Jones - Catherine Zeta Jones

So you're all alone
And you're feeling the chill right down to the bone
You've lost your way
And the road that you've taken has led you astray
Oh I know you're tryin'
To be strong
But don't you be afraid to need someone
Just let me hold you
In the arms of love
Let me rock you for awhile
Let me take away the sadness
Give you back your smile
In the arms of love
There'll always be a place
Where I can give you shelter
Keep you warm and safe
In the arms of love
When the night falls hard
And you can't find the light from one friendly star
I'll reach out for you
And give you the strength you need to get through
Oh I know you're tryin'
To do it all alone
But no one ever makes it on their own
So let me hold you
In the arms of love
Let me rock you for awhile
Let me take away the sadness
Give you back your smile
In the arms of love
There'll always be a place
Where I can give you shelter
Keep you warm and safe
In the arms of love
We'll be safe
In the arms of love
Just the two of us
We'll be safe
In the arms of love
Just the two of us
Whoa...
So let me hold you
Let me hold you
In the arms of love
Let me rock you for awhile
Let me take away the sadness
Give you back your smile
In the arms of love
There'll always be a place
Where I can give you shelter
Keep you warm and safe
In the arms of love

You're a real tough cookie with a long history
Of breaking little hearts like the one in me
That's okay, let's see how you do it
Put up your dukes, let's get down to it
Hit me with your best shot
Why don't you hit me with your best shot?
Hit me with your best shot
Fire away
You come on with the come on, you don't fight fair
That's okay, see if I care
Knock me down, it's all in vain
I get right back on my feet again
Hit me with your best shot
Why don't you hit me with your best shot?
Hit me with your best shot
Fire away
Well, you're a real tough cookie with a long history
Of breaking little hearts like the one in me
Before I put another notch in my lipstick case
You better make sure you put me in my place
Hit me with your best shot, c'mon!
Hit me with your best shot
Hit me with your best shot
Fire away
Hit me with your best shot
Why don't you hit me with your best shot?
Hit me with your best shot

(announcer) Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Velma Kelley in and act--of desperation.
My sister and I had an act that couldn't flop.
My sister and I were headed straight for the top.
My sister and I earned a thou a week, at least-- oh yeah.
But my sister is now, unfortunately, deceased.
I know it's sad, of course, but a fact is still a fact:
And now all that remains
is the remains
of a perfect double act.
(spoken) Watch this.Now you have to imagine it with two people-- it's swell with two people.
First I'd--(music while she dances)
Then she'd--(music while she dances)
Then we'd--(music while she dances)
But I can't do it alone.
Then she'd--(music while she dances)
Then I'd--(music while she dances)
Then we'd--(music while she dances)
But I can't do it alone.
She'd say,"What's your sister like?"
I'd say "Man..."
She'd say "You're the cat's meow!"
Then we'd wow the crowd again
When she'd go--(music while she dances)
I'd go--(music while she dances)
We'd go--(music while she dances)
Then those ding-dong daddies started a roar!
Whistles, stomped, stamped on the floor,
yellin', screamin' begging for more--
And we'd say 'Ok fellas, keep your socks up,
'cause you ain't seen nothin' yet."
But I simply cannot do it alone!
(spoken) So what do you think, huh?
Come on, you can say it...
(Roxie blows raspberry)
(spoken) I know you're right, the first part's s**t,
but the second part--the second part is really nifty!
(sighs) Ok,
She'd go--(music while she dances)
I'd go--(music while she dances)
We'd go--(music while she dances)
And then those two-bit Johnnys dug in the ground
to cheer the best attraction in town.
[They] Nearly tore the balcony down!!
And we'd say "OK fellas, we're going home, but before we go,
here's a few more pardon shots!"
And this, this we did in perfect unison!--(music while she dances)
You see me goin' through it,
You may think there's nothin' to it,

Everybody's high on consolation
Everybody's tryin' to tell me what is right for me, yeah
My daddy tried to bore me with a sermon
But it's plain to see that they can't comfort me
Sorry Johnny for the imposition
I think I got it
I got the strength to carry on
I need a drink and a quick decision
Now it's up to me, ooh, what will be
He's gone, oh I
Oh I, I'd better learn how to face it
He's gone, oh I,
Oh I, I'd pay the devil to replace him
He's gone, oh I,
What went wrong?
Get up in the morning and look in the mirror
I'm worn as a toothbrush hangin' in the stand
My face ain't lookin' any younger
Now I can see
Love's taken its toll on me
He's gone, oh I,
Oh I, I'd better learn how to face it
He's gone oh I,
Oh I, I'd pay the devil to replace him
He's gone, oh I,
What went wrong?
Think I'll spend eternity in the city
Let the carbon and monoxide choke my thoughts away
The pretty bodies help dissolve the memories
They could never be what he was to me
He's gone, oh I,
Oh I, I'd better learn how to face it
He's gone, oh I,
Oh I, I'd pay the devil to replace him
He's gone, oh I,
What went wrong?
Whoa...
He's gone
I'd better learn how to face it
I can't believe that he's gone, oh I
He's gone
I'd better learn how to face it
I can't believe that he's gone, oh I

Catherine:
Whatever happend to fair dealing?
Pure ethics and nice manners?
Why is it that everyone now is a pain in the ass?
Whatever happend to class?
(class)
queen latifah:
Whatever happend to please may I and yes thankyou
and how charming
Now every son of a bitch
is a snake in the grass
Whatever happend to class?
(class)
Both:
ohhhh there aint no gentleman to open up the door
there aint no ladys now theres only pigs and whores
and even kids will knock you down so take a pass
nobodys got no class
C: whatever happend to old values?
QL: and fine morals
C: and good breeding
QL: Now no one even says oops when their passin
their gas.
Both: whatever happend to class?
both: (class)
Ohhh there aint no gentleman thats fit for any use
and any girl will touch your privates for a doose
QL: and even kids will kick ur shins and give u sass
(C:and even kids will kick your shins and give u sass)
nobodys got no class
C: all u read about today is rape and theft
QL: Jesus christ aint there no decency left?
Both: Nobodys got no class
QL: every guy is a snot.
C: every girl is a twat
QL: Holy SH*t
C: Holy SH*t
QL: Watta shame
C: Watta shame

[LIZ]
[ANNIE]
[JUNE]
Squish
[HUNYAK]
Uh uh
[VELMA]
Cicero
[MONA]
Lipschitz!
[LIZ]
[ANNIE]
[JUNE]
Squish
[HUNYAK]
Uh uh
[VELMA]
Cicero
[MONA]
Lipschitz!
[LIZ]
[ANNIE]
[JUNE]
Squish
[HUNYAK]
Uh uh
[VELMA]
Cicero
[MONA]
Lipschitz!
[LIZ]
[ANNIE]
[JUNE]
Squish
[HUNYAK]
Uh uh
[VELMA]
Cicero
[MONA]
Lipschitz!
[ALL]
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
[VELMA]
I betcha you would have done the same!
[LIZ]
[ANNIE]
[JUNE]
Squish
[HUNYAK]
Uh uh
[VELMA]
Cicero
[MONA]
Lipschitz!(x2)
[LIZ (Spoken)]
You know how people
have these little habits
That get you down. Like Bernie.
Bernie like to chew gum.
No, not chew. POP.
Well, I came home this one day
And I am really irritated, and
looking for a little sympathy
and there'e Bernie layin'
on the couch, drinkin' a beer
and chewin'. No, not chewin'.
Poppin'. So, I said to him,
I said, "Bernie, you pop that
gum one more time..."
and he did.
So I took the shotgun off the wall
and I fired two warning shots...
...into his head.
[GIRLS]
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have heard it
I betcha you would
Have done the same!
[ANNIE (Spoken)]
I met Ezekiel Young from
Salt Lake city about two years ago
and he told me he was single
and we hit it off right away.
So, we started living together.
He'd go to work, he'd come home, I'd
mix him a drink, We'd have dinner.
Well, it was like heaven in
two and a half rooms.
And then I found out,
"Single" he told me?
Single, my ass. Not only
was he married
...oh, no, he had six wives.
One of those Mormons, you know. So that
night, when he came home, I mixed him
his drink as usual.
You know, some guys just can't hold
their arsenic.
[LIZ,ANNIE,JUNE,MONA]
Hah! He had it coming
He had it coming
He took a flower
In its prime
And then he used it
And he abused it
It was a murder
But not a crime!
[VELMA AND HUNYAK]
Pop, six, squish, uh-uh
Cicero, Lipschitz
[JUNE (Spoken)]
Now, I'm standing in the kitchen
carvin' up the chicken for dinner,
minding my own business,
and in storms my husband Wilbur,
in a jealous rage.
"You been screwin' the milkman,"
he says. He was crazy
and he kept screamin',
"you been screwin the milkman."
And then he ran into my knife.
He ran into my knife ten times!
[ALL]
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same!
[HUNYAK (Spoken)]
Mit keresek, én itt? Azt mondják,
hogy a híres lakem lefogta a férjemet én meg
lecsaptam a fejét. De nem igaz, én ártatlan
vagyok. Nem tudom miért mondja
Uncle Sam, hogy én tettem. Probáltam
a rendõrségen megmagyarázni de nem értették meg...
[JUNE (Spoken)]
Yeah, but di you do it?
[HUNYAK]
UH UH, not guilty!
[VELMA]
My sister, Veronica and
I did this double act
and my husband, Charlie,
used to travel round with us.
Now, for the last number in
our act, we did these 20 acrobatic
one two three four,five...splits, spread eagles,
back flips,flip flops,
one right after the other.
Well, this one night we were in Cicero,
the three of us, sittin' up
in a hotel room, boozin' and
havin' a few laughs and
we ran out of ice.
So I went out to get some.
I come back, open the door
and there's Veronica and
Charlie doing Number Seventeen-
the spread eagle.
Well, I was in such a state of shock,
I completely blacked out.I can't remember a thing.
It wasn't until later,
when I was washing the blood off my hands
I even knew they were dead.
They had it coming
They had it coming
They had it coming all along
I didn't do it
But if I'd done it
How could you tell me that I was wrong?
[VELMA]
They had it coming
[GIRLS]
They had it coming
[VELMA]
They had it coming
[GIRLS]
They had it coming
[VELMA]
They had it coming
[GIRLS]
They took a flower
[VELMA]
All along
[GIRLS]
In its prime
[VELMA]
I didn't do it
[GIRLS]
And then they used it
[VELMA]
But if I'd done it
[GIRLS]
And they abused it
[VELMA]
How could you tell me
[GIRLS]
It was a murder
[VELMA]
That I was wrong?
[GIRLS]
But not a crime!
[MONA]
I loved Alvin Lipschitz
more than I can possibly say.
He was a real artistic guy...
sensitive... a painter.
But he was troubled.
He was always trying
to find himself.
He'd go out every night
looking for himself
and on the way
he found Ruth,
Gladys,
Rosemary and Irving.
I guess you can say we broke
up because or artistic differences.
He saw himself as alive
and I saw him dead.
[ALL]
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum
[LIZ,ANNIE,MONA]
They had it comin'
[VELMA,JUNE,HUNYAK]
They had it comin'
[LIZ,ANNIE,MONA]
They had it comin'
[VELMA,JUNE,HUNYAK]
They had it comin'
[LIZ,ANNIE,MONA]
They had it comin'
[VELMA,JUNE,HUNYAK]
They had it comin'
[LIZ,ANNIE,MONA]
All along
[VELMA,JUNE,HUNYAK]
All along
'Cause if they used us
'Cause if they used us And they abused us
And they abused us
[LIZ,ANNIE,MONA]
How could you tell us
[VELMA,JUNE,HUNYAK]
How could you tell us That we were wrong?
That we were wrong?
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had
Himself
To blame.
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha
You would
Have done
The same!
[LIZ (Spoken)]
You pop that gum one more time!
[ANNIE (spoken)]
Single my ass.
[JUNE (Spoken)]
Ten times!
[HUNYAK (Spoken)]
Miert csukott Uncle Same bortonbe.
[VELMA (Spoken)]
Number seventeen-the spread eagle.
[MONA (Spoken)]
Artistic differences.
[ALL]

5-6-7-8!
Come on babe, why dont we paint the town?
And all that jazz
I'm gonna rouge my knees and roll my stockings down
And all that jazz
Start the car
I know a whoopee spot
Where the gin is cold
But the piano's hot
It's just a noisy hall
Where there's a nightly brawl
And all...that...jazz!
Slick your hair and wear your buckle shoes
And all that jazz
I hear that father dip is gonna blow the blues
And all that jazz!
Hold on hun we're gonna bunny hug
I bought some aspirin down at United Drug
In case you shake apart and want a brand new start
To do...that...jazz!
Find a flask we're playing fast and loose
And all that jazz
Right up here is where I store the juice
And all that jazz
Come on babe we're gonna brush the sky
I betcha lucky Lindy never flew so high
'Cause in the stratosphere how could we lend an ear
To all that jazz!
Oh, you're gonna see your sheba shimmy shake
And all that jazz
Oh, she's gonna shimmy til her garters break
And all that jazz
Show her where to park her girdle
Oh, her mother's blood will curdle
If she'd hear her baby's queer
For all...that..jazz!
Come on babe why dont we paint the town
And all that jazz
I'm gonna rouge my knees and roll my stockings down
And all that jazz
Start the car
I know a whoopee spot
Where the gin is cold
But the piano's hot
Its just a noisy hall
Where there's a nightly brawl
And all that jazz!
No, i'm no one's wife
But, Oh i love my life
And all that jazz!

Come on babe, why don't we paint the town?
And all that jazz
I'm gonna rouge my knees and roll my stockings down
And all that jazz
Start the car
I know a whoopee spot
Where the gin is cold
But the piano's hot
It's just a noisy hall, where there's a nightly brawl
And all that jazz
Slick your hair and wear your buckle shoes
And all that jazz
I hear that Father Dip is gonna blow the blues
And all that jazz
Hold on, hon
We're gonna bunny hug
I bought some aspirin, down at United Drug
I case you shake apart
And want a brand new start
To do that jazz
Skidoo!
And all that jazz
Hotcha!
Whoopee!
And all that jazz
Ha! Ha! Ha!
It's just a noisy hall where there's a nightly brawl
And all that jazz
Find a flask, we're playing fast and loose
And all that jazz
Right up here is where I store the juice
And all that jazz
Come on, babe
We're gonna brush the sky
I bet you luck Lindy, never flew so high
'Cause in the stratosphere
How could he lend an ear
To all that jazz?
Oh, you're gonna see your sheba shimmy shake
And all that jazz
Oh, she's gonna shimmy 'till her garters break
And all that jazz
Show her where to park her girdle
Oh, her mother's blood'd curdle
If she'd hear her baby's queer
For all that jazz
And all that jazz
Come on, babe
Why don't we paint
The town?

Come on babe, why don't we paint the town?
And all that jazz
I'm gonna rouge my knees and roll my stockings down
And all that jazz
Start the car
I know a whoopee spot
Where the gin is cold
But the piano's hot
It's just a noisy hall, where there's a nightly brawl
And all that jazz
Slick your hair and wear your buckle shoes
And all that jazz
I hear that Father Dip is gonna blow the blues
And all that jazz
Hold on, hon
We're gonna bunny hug
I bought some aspirin, down at United Drug
I case you shake apart
And want a brand new start
To do that jazz
Skidoo!
And all that jazz
Hotcha!
Whoopee!
And all that jazz
Ha! Ha! Ha!
It's just a noisy hall where there's a nightly brawl
And all that jazz
Find a flask, we're playing fast and loose
And all that jazz
Right up here is where I store the juice
And all that jazz
Come on, babe
We're gonna brush the sky
I bet you luck Lindy, never flew so high
'Cause in the stratosphere
How could he lend an ear
To all that jazz?
Oh, you're gonna see your sheba shimmy shake
And all that jazz
Oh, she's gonna shimmy 'till her garters break
And all that jazz
Show her where to park her girdle
Oh, her mother's blood'd curdle
If she'd hear her baby's queer
For all that jazz
And all that jazz
Come on, babe
Why don't we paint
The town?