["Hangin' With MTV" Host (Julia Sweeny):]
We have an exclusive MTV world premiere. Yeah, a hot new group from
Atlanta that we're hearing big things from: G-Spot!
(Cut to a quintet of black men in orange ghetto attire. The only two
familiar faces are those of Rock and Meadows.)
[Tim: singing]
Hey girl - take off your dress right now
I'm lookin' at your body, and I wanna say ...
[Chris:]
Oww.
[Tim: singing]
You go through the shinin', got extensions in your hair
You say the kid's in the other room, but you know that I don't care
[Chris: singing]
Babay, ... buzz me at the do'
Pull up your skirt, child, now pull it up some mo'
Your panties are green, and your bra is pink
Now suck on my tic-tac, so your breath won't stiiiink
[Chorus x2: G-Spot] [singing]
All I wanna do, is suck your big toe
Suck it reeeeal slow, I wanna suck your big fat toe
[Chris: singing]
Honay, your toe tastes so sweet
You got a big corn on it - ooh! I love the extra meat!
[Tim: singing]
Your mind says no, but your body says yes
I'm lookin' at the backside, baby, and thinkin'
"Damn, this bitch is blessed!"
[Chorus]
[Chris: singing]
This little piggy wants tastin',
And this little piggy wants sex,
This little piggy wants raisin',
But your big toe is the best!
[Chris: talking]
Yeah, girl - that's the reason I love ya, baby!
I love every lil' thing about ya,
baby! I love that nose ring you got in your nose, baby,
and I love your big fat toe.
I love the way you tell the cops you ain't seen me in two years, baby!
Yeah, girl, just come here, baby, let me suck on your toe! Don't run!
I would never hit a woman - unless she owes me money! Come on!!
[Chorus]
[BizMarkie]
Yes indeed people
This is me and my man
And this is OUR rendition of this, Rolling Stones classic
And it go like this..
[Biz: singing]
I just wanna get a table dance
Every sister in the place won't give me a chance
Strobelight, blow-by, they've been front bout all night
Give me any woman, just as long as she's white
WHITE BITCHES!! How come you look so good?
WHITE BITCHES!! Do shit no sister would!
I sho' like some milk
Milk is NATURAL baby
As we continue on, I'ma tell you how much I LIKE my white woman baby
So check it out, WOWWWWWWWWWWWW!
Halle and Tyra just put me to sleep
Give me Sharon Stone, Pamela Lee and Meryl Streep
Go tell Oprah that I know what I like
Give me any woman, just as long as she's white
WHITE BITCHES!! How come you look so good?
WHITE BITCHES!! Do shit no sister would!
Yeah, y'all know what I'm talkin about baby
They so good! Yes indeedy sweetie!
I'm not greedy, I gives to the needy
White woman OWWWWWWW I love ya!
WHITE BITCHES!! How come you look so good?
WHITE BITCHES!! Do shit no sister would!
WHITE BITCHES!! How come you look so good?
Yeahhh, yeahhh, yeahhh, WHOO!!!!
Do shit no sister would! White bitches sing!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, WHOO!!
How come you look so good?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, WHOO!!
Yeahhh baby!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, WHOO!!
WHITE BITCHES!! I'm not talkin bout no REGGIE White
Yeah, yeah, yeah, WHOO!!
I'm not talkin bout no BARRY White
WHITE BITCHES!! I'm not talkin bout SNAPPY White
I'm talkin bout Vanna White, Bette White, and SNOW White
Yeah, yeah, yeah, WHOO!!
YEAH BAYBEEEEE!
(White bitches, oahahaohhhh, oahahhhhyeahhh)
Hey, how'd you get in here?
[Chris Rock]
Yo, yo, this is Chris Rock
You heard my man
He ain't on no commercial shit
The O.D.B.
It ain't the Young D.B.
It's the Ol' D.B.
That old shit
This ain't the Embry-O D.B.
This is the Ol' mothafuckin D.B.
I'm Chris Rock, I'm chillin with the O.D.B.
So I'm the wrong place, at the wrong mothafuckin time
with the wrong mothafuckin man
The O.D.B., baby
[Ol' Dirty Bastard]
All y'all niggas talkin bout commercial song
This ain't no commercial song
Straight up, nigga, what?
Y'all niggas can't fuck with me
All y'all niggas lovin me
[The Neptunes]
Mister courageous O.D.B.
You need to recognize he's a P-I-M-P
You need to recognize
[Ol' Dirty Bastard (Neptunes)]
Yo, what's my name? (You need to recognize)
Shut the fuck up! (You need to recognize)
I bring the mothafuckin ruckus
(You need to recognize) C'mon punk ass niggas
Uh, nah, nah, I'm just fuckin wit'chall
(Uh-huh)
[Ol' Dirty Bastard (Zu Keeper)]
Who get drunk at night till the early morn'?
Tap dances at the party like it's goin on
Bitches and niggas all around scopin eachother down
I'm takin pictures at y'all at the fuckin lounge
Mad niggas was, gettin drunk at the bar
I'm throwin Moet bottles, HA HA HA HA HA HA
It's rowdy outside, I ain't signin shit
Don't flow bitch, I take your microphone
You party bitches fallin in line
with your fat ass stinkin behind
You don't know who the fuck is here
I back smack your ass, make pressure appear
Cuz cold Lucky knockin at your door
I dedicate that to your source
Cuz this (Nigga please) is dirty and it's stinkin
Funkier than (Peppi Le Pew, so I was thinkin)
I drop you mothafuckin niggas on the (weekend)
(Lettin you know that) bitch nigga don't start
You thought that I was weak? Huh, let me speak
My rhymes come funkier than your grandfather's feet
So listen mister, don't you ever forget
Rhyme dirty, you couldn't even clean it with Comet
or even Worex, some tried Ajax
Only mix wit, the back get this track
Y'all niggas can't fuck with me
All y'all niggas lovin me
[The Neptunes]
Mister courageous O.D.B.
You need to recognize he's a P-I-M-P
You need to recognize, you need to recognize
You need to recognize, niggas need to recognize
Uh-huh, uh-huh
Uh-huh, uh-huh
[Ol' Dirty Bastard (Zu Keeper)]
Sweet girl, sweet girl
Each and every day-a, each and every way-a
See you niggas, most of your strayers
Stray off from a thing, civilization-a
Don't understand the true nation-a
Go back like cold ovens and ice boxes
(Murder Avenue L trains, Broadway blackouts
Brooklyn Zu keep history, fam shake the trends
Five years of workin bodies, voice box hits the shotty
I move in parties, stickin hotties
And all you fake mob Gotti's, I push your skirt up
My shit's so bad I wipe my ass with a burner)
I said, y'all niggas can't fuck with me
All y'all niggas lovin me
[The Neptunes]
Mister courageous O.D.B.
You need to recognize he's a P-I-M-P
You need to recognize, you need to recognize
You niggas need to recognize, uh-huh, uh-huh
[Ol' Dirty Bastard]
Y'all niggas can't fuck with me
All y'all niggas lovin me
[The Neptunes]
Mister courageous O.D.B.
You need to recognize he's a P-I-M-P
You need to recognize, you need to recognize
Bitches and niggas'll recognize
Look, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh
Ladies and Gentlemen of the G. E. D. class of 1999,
i have one piece of advice for you,
No matter what a stripper tells you,
There Is No Sex In The Champagne Room! NONE!
Oh, theres champagne in the champagne room
But, you don't want champagne, you want sex.
And theres no sex, in the champagne room.
Dont go to parties with metal detectors.
Sure, It feels safe inside,
But what about all those niggers waiting outside with guns,
They Know You Aint Got One!
If a woman tells you shes 20, and looks 16, shes 12.
If she tells you shes 26, and looks 26, Shes Damn Near 40!
Take off that silly ass hat.
The ODB couldnt have possibly committed all those crimes.
Coolio did some of that shit
Young black men:
If you go to a movie theater, and someone steps on your foot,
Let it slide!
Why spend the next 20 years in jail b-cuz
Someone smudged Your Puma!
Cornbread-Aint nothin wrong with that!
No matter what you think of what I'm sayin,
remember this one thing:
There Is No Sex In The Champagne Room!
(That guy starts singin)
No Sex In The Champagne Room,
No Sex In The Champagne Room!
No Sex In The Champagne Room,
No Sex In The Champagne Room!
Absolutly, positively no sex in the champagne room
If a homeless person has a funny sign,
He hasnt been homeless that long.
A real homeless person is too hungry to be funny.
If a girl has a pierced tongue,
She'll probably suck your dick
(That'd Be great, Yeaaaah!)
If a guy has a pierced tongue,
He'll probably suck your dick
(Dont want that Noooooo!)
Heres a horoscope for everyone:
Aquarius-You're Gonna Die!
Capricorn-You're Gonna Die!
Gemini-You're Gonna Die TWICE!
Leo-You're Gonna Die!
Scorpio-You're Gonna Die fuckin!
No one goes to Hooters for wings.
If you've been dating a man for 4 months,
And you havent met any of his friends yet,
You Are Not His Girlfriend!
Some of the things I said may not apply to you.
Some of the things I said may offend you
But no matter who you are,
You must remember this one thing:
No matter what a stripper says,
There Is No Sex In The Champagne Room! NONE!
No Sex In The Champagne Room,
No Sex In The Champagne Room!
Cant get none, Nooooo!
Cant have none, Nooooo!
No Sex In The Champagne Room,
[All snippets of Monica's +responses+ are Lil' Kim record samples]
[Chris Rock]
Thanks for the interview Monica
Now Monica, everyone seems to think they know ALL there is to know
about Monica Lewinsky -- but Monica, could you tell us one thing
that people would be surprised to know about you?
"I used to be scared of the dick; now I throw lips to the shit
Handle it, like a real bitch.."
[Chris Rock]
Very interesting! Now Monica, there seems to be a lot of demands
on your time. Could you tell us what a quiet evening with
Monica Lewinsky would be like?
"Got buffoons eatin my pussy while I watch cartoons.."
[Chris Rock]
Hmm, sounds like fun!
Now Monica, who were your role models?
"Zsa Zsa Gabor, Demi Moore, Prince Diane and all them rich bitches.."
[Chris Rock]
Now in the transcript, you refer to the President as Butthead
Did the President have any nicknames for you?
"Poon-poon nanny-nanny, punanni danni.."
[Chris Rock]
Ahh, cute!
Now Monica, you and the President had a lot of phone sex.
What was the one thing that you would say to the President
that would make him acheive orgasm?
"Before you nut, I'ma dribble down your buttcheek
Make you wiggle, then giggle just a little.."
[Chris Rock]
Now Vernon Jordan helped you get a job
What's the first thing you said when you met Vernon Jordan?
"It's on nigga what? Pussy greased up
Stack the G's up, keeps the knees up.."
[Chris Rock]
So are you saying you had an affair with Vernon Jordan too?
"I made my intro, gettin fucked in the Pinto.."
[Chris Rock]
Monica you appear to be having sex with everybody
How do the interns treat you?
"They be suckin blackberry molasses out my asses.."
[Chris Rock]
Now now that we're on it, how come you never had sex with Al Gore?
"I got no patience for little dick tastin.."
[Chris Rock]
What about Ken Starr?
"He be lookin fruity, but you still can eat the booty.."
[Chris Rock]
Now Monica, do you have any regrets about your relationship
with the President?
"Somethin I wanted, but I never was pushy
The motherfucker never ate my pussy.."
[Chris Rock]
Hey, here's the President right now, Bill Clinton!
Now Mr. President, before we go,
is there anything you'd like to say to Monica Lewinsky?
[Eazy-E sample]
"Bitch shut the fuck up!
Yo, yo, this is Chris Rock
You heard my man
He ain't on no commercial shit
The O.D.B.
It ain't the Young D.B.
It's the Ol' D.B.
That old shit
This ain't the Embry-O D.B.
This is the Ol' mothafuckin D.B.
I'm Chris Rock, I'm chillin with the O.D.B.
So I'm the wrong place, at the wrong mothafuckin time
with the wrong mothafuckin man
The O.D.B., baby
[Ol' Dirty Bastard]
All y'all niggas talkin bout commercial song
This ain't no commercial song
Straight up, nigga, what?
Y'all niggas can't fuck with me
All y'all niggas lovin me
[The Neptunes]
Mister courageous O.D.B.
You need to recognize he's a P-I-M-P
You need to recognize
[Ol' Dirty Bastard (Neptunes)]
Yo, what's my name? (You need to recognize)
Shut the fuck up! (You need to recognize)
I bring the mothafuckin ruckus
(You need to recognize) C'mon punk ass niggas
Uh, nah, nah, I'm just fuckin wit'chall
(Uh-huh)
[Ol' Dirty Bastard (Zu Keeper)]
Who get drunk at night till the early morn'?
Tap dances at the party like it's goin on
Bitches and niggas all around scopin eachother down
I'm takin pictures at y'all at the fuckin lounge
Mad niggas was, gettin drunk at the bar
I'm throwin Moet bottles, HA HA HA HA HA HA
It's rowdy outside, I ain't signin shit
Don't flow bitch, I take your microphone
You party bitches fallin in line
with your fat ass stinkin behind
You don't know who the fuck is here
I back smack your ass, make pressure appear
Cuz cold Lucky knockin at your door
I dedicate that to your source
Cuz this (Nigga please) is dirty and it's stinkin
Funkier than (Peppi Le Pew, so I was thinkin)
I drop you mothafuckin niggas on the (weekend)
(Lettin you know that) bitch nigga don't start
You thought that I was weak? Huh, let me speak
My rhymes come funkier than your grandfather's feet
So listen mister, don't you ever forget
Rhyme dirty, you couldn't even clean it with Comet
or even Worex, some tried Ajax
Only mix wit, the back get this track
Y'all niggas can't fuck with me
All y'all niggas lovin me
[The Neptunes]
Mister courageous O.D.B.
You need to recognize he's a P-I-M-P
You need to recognize, you need to recognize
You need to recognize, niggas need to recognize
Uh-huh, uh-huh
Uh-huh, uh-huh
[Ol' Dirty Bastard (Zu Keeper)]
Sweet girl, sweet girl
Each and every day-a, each and every way-a
See you niggas, most of your strayers
Stray off from a thing, civilization-a
Don't understand the true nation-a
Go back like cold ovens and ice boxes
(Murder Avenue L trains, Broadway blackouts
Brooklyn Zu keep history, fam shake the trends
Five years of workin bodies, voice box hits the shotty
I move in parties, stickin hotties
And all you fake mob Gotti's, I push your skirt up
My shit's so bad I wipe my ass with a burner)
I said, y'all niggas can't fuck with me
All y'all niggas lovin me
[The Neptunes]
Mister courageous O.D.B.
You need to recognize he's a P-I-M-P
You need to recognize, you need to recognize
You niggas need to recognize, uh-huh, uh-huh
[Ol' Dirty Bastard]
Y'all niggas can't fuck with me
All y'all niggas lovin me
[The Neptunes]
Mister courageous O.D.B.
You need to recognize he's a P-I-M-P
You need to recognize, you need to recognize
Bitches and niggas'll recognize
Look, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh
[Chris Rock]
Yo man, R&B; sucks!
I mean there's a couple of people that can flow
but for the most part, the genre sucks
Just a bunch of people singin over rap beats
Get a old rap record? Sing over it!
Now everybody talk about their label, label this, label that, hey
Smokey Robinson wasn't singin about Motown!
Listen, the Isley Brothers wasn't goin, 'Teaneck in the motherfuckin house!'
The Jacksons wasn't singin about Epic
because nobody gave a fuck!
Hey, it's time for a record! Here goes!
[music fades in]
Ladies and gentlemen, I am the Bluff Daddy
And this is a Black Boy exclusive
Black Boy make you jump for joy, Black Boy make you jump for joy
Sing!
I, like champagne (feels good to my brain baby)
Black
I, like champagne
What you drinkin?
(drink it in the rain)
I, love champagne
Say it
(say it once again)
I, like champagne
Yo baby you got any money?
[singer takes over]
Nigga I'm broke, and feelin kinda thirsty (too blad)
Just smoked a blunt, and, I, feel, the worst way (Black Boy)
My baby's father, brought me a case of St. Ide's (did you like it?)
I said, 'I don't drink that shit nigga, you better recognize!' (Cristal)
[Rock] Would you let the lady finish the song???!!! (big hats)
[singer takes over]
Now I'm a broke hoe with expensive tastes (you my hoe)
I got six ankle chains around my waist (who bought them for you baby)
Gotta get my sip on (get your sip on) cause that's my missi-on (you gotta get)
Gotta get my champagne on, or I'm gonna get my bitch on (that's right)
I, like champagne (feels good to my brain baby)
I, like champagne
Cristal!
(drink it in the rai-ai-in)
I, love champagne
Say it again
(say it once again)
I, like champagne (once again)
Ladies and gentlemen, Freedom Williams
[Freedom Williams]
Enter the Dom/e of Perignon, I never been crept upon
I'm on the mike and my word is bond (hoo hoo!)
I'm the top the pinnacle, the echelon
I'm never fallin (c'mon) and beat MC's with a baton
The conniseur, I'm gonna do her over dinner
(Black Boy make you jump for joy, Black Boy make you jump for joy)
I said fine cigars, fresh fish, Alize toast
(Black Boy make you jump for joy, Black Boy make you jump for joy)
My lifestyle's ghost, when you see true enlightened men
To MC's I incite and mend
[needle pulls across record and is cut off]
[Chris Rock] What? Motherfucker what the fuck?
[fight breaks out]
[sample of Run-D.M.C. saying "I'm the kiiiiiing" keeps repeating]
[Chris Rock] Fuck who the hell are you? "I'm the kiiiiiing"
I'm only gonna ask one last time
Who the fuck are you? "I'm the kiiiiiing"
Stop hitting me! Stop!
[machine gun fire]
Who da bumba claat?
"Ohhh shit"
For someone who is a Shaolin Monk
your Kung-Fu's really lousy!
[explosion, crackling glass]
Boy, I'm three generations deep, in gangsterdom
[Announcer]
Alright, fellas that was Ashley on the main stage
And right now it's time for the "Déja Vu"
Buy one, get two table dances alright now fellas,
You know what to do,
Here come the ladies!
Here come the ladies!
[Chris Rock]
Hey baby, hey baby
Hey light-skinned sister, come on over here and give a brotha a dance.
[Girl]
Uh... I already got a customer
[Chris Rock]
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Dark-skinned sister why don't ya give a brotha a dance,
come on give a brotha a dance...
[Bitchy Girl]
My shift is over!
[Chris Rock]
Well why don't you work some overtime then!?!
[Bitchy Girl]
SHIIIT!!!
[Chris Rock]
Okay, I understand ya shit...
Hey baby, come here, come here, give a brotha a dance
Corn-rowed sister, give a brotha a dance
[Girl]
I'm a waitress!
[Chris Rock]
Oh okay, okay
(piano starts to play)
Damn! What am I glass? I think I'll sing.
[singing to piano melody]
La-dies of "Déja Vu"
What must I do... to get with you
I got a role of twenties buried in my pants
So here's on little question that I'd like to ask...
[Rap beat starts]
[Chorus: x4]
CAN A NIGGA GET A TABLE DANCE!!!
SHAKE IT UP! SHAKE IT UP! WOO! SHAKE THAT THANG!
[Maestro]
I been workin' for a week, here's the money I got
I'm lookin' for a place to bust this nut
I'm attendin' in my benzo
Lookin' for a place to find some mackin' hoes
But that shit don't thrill me
So I head out to the mad city to get it on, G
Out the benz, I'm lookin' for fun
I'm lookin' for a place that gonna move some (echo)
Know what I'm sayin', know what I'm talkin' about?
I'm lookin' for a bitch that can turn the party out
I met a bitch named Dynasty,
Wit so much back, she made a blind man see.
What's really happenin'?
Too many clothes, not enough booty slappin'
Now I don't need romance, all I need to know is
[Chorus: x2]
CAN A NIGGA GET A TABLE DANCE!!!
SHAKE IT UP! SHAKE IT UP! WOO! SHAKE THAT THANG!
(Gong Sound)
[Stripper]
I'll give you a table dance!
[Chris Rock]
But you're white!
[Stripper]
And you're cute.
(They start to get it on)
[Chris Rock]
This is a great table dance!
[Stripper]
Hey, you like that?
[Chris Rock]
[Chris Rock: singing in falsetto]
Basketball Jooooones
I got a Basketball Jooooones
I got a Basketball Jooooones, oh baby
Ohhhhhhhhhhh, oh!
[Singers sing in background]
[(Barry White) Chris Rock]
(Jones)
Hey, that's Barry White! (an obsession)
(A burning desire) Barry, you want some chicken?
(The undeniable passion)
Aww, you ??? that singin' stuff
(The love, of someone are some thing)
Y'know you want some chicken!
(Yes, he was a victim...of a Basketball Jones)
In fact, I was a baddest...dribbler in the whole world
(Then one day, his mother bought him a basketball)
And I love that basketball! I took that basketball everywhere I went
You know what? That basketball was like a basketball to me!
C'MON, you cheerleaders..
["Cheerleading" singers sing - Chorus]
Basketball Jones
I got a Basketball Jones (happily)
I got a Basketball Jones ohhh baby ohhhhhh
Wait a minute, y'all not En Vouge!
Where the hell is En Vogue?!
Somebody told me En Vogue was gonna be here
I guess y'all'll do (Yeah...)
So what y'all doin' after the game? C'mon!
(His basketball was like a member of his owwwwn family)
In fact, better looking than my brother Tony
Didn't owe me money, and didn't piss in a bed!
And after the game, I always took a shower wit' my basketball
Every now and then, the basketball gonna pinch my butt
But I didn't mind, 'cause my and my basketball had guts, clean fun
See I am a victim of a Basketball Jones, I'll take my basketball everywhere
I'll even put my basketball under the PILLOW!
(Maybe that's why you couldn't sleep at night)
["Chorus" starts again as Chris and Barry overlaps]
SING IT! SING IT! SING IT LIKE YA WANNA!!
(Yeah) Eh-eh-eh, act like Puffy's in the audience
(Sing it out!) Would y'all SHUT UP?!
(Ohhhhh, soooounds sooo sweet) B-Barry, don't encourage 'em!
They got a Basketball Jones
See I like to PLAY it, I know a thang...yeah, heh-heh
What kinda Basketball Jones y'all got?! (sing it out!)
I see y'all runnin' after a lime zone
YEAH! (YEAH!)
I see ya chasin' Penny around!
["cheerleaders" and later Barry raps]
Hey, there's a Basketball Jones
Basketball Jones's in the hoouse
[Chris Rock overlaps]
Michael Jordan! MICHAEL JORDAN!
LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, THE MAN WE CAME OUT TO SEE!
Michael Jordan...why don't you sing?
[Michael Jordan]
Sing? I don't sing, that's the other "M.J."
[Chris Rock]
Ohhh, okay, I support you
I go to all your games, and you can't sing a lil' song for a brotha!
I hope you go bald! Oh, you already bald!
[Chris Rock: singing in falsetto]
Basketball Jooooones, c'mon!
I got a Basketball Jooooones (Tear it up, Chris)
I got a Basketball Jooooones, oh baby (Eat it up!)
Ohhhhhhhhhhh, oh, oh, oh
[Chorus: w/ Barry White singing in background]
[Chris Rock]
Was that Babyface?!
Was that El Debarge?!
Th-That musta been Smokey Robinson!
WHO THE HELL WAS THAT?!
I guess that was me-e-e-e!
(Baby, baby, baby...it's a craving)
Basketball's a chicken!
(An uncontrollable yearning)
Do y'all hear Barry White?! Do y'all hear Barry White?!
(The overwhelming emotion.....to a love for someone are some thing)
I love The Knicks, myself!
(Jones) Hey, is the a basketball in the house?!
(I got a Rib Jones)
IS THERE A BASKETBALL IN THE HOUSE?!
(a Riiiib Jones)
Everybody (yeeeaah)
Pat Riley, in the HOOOOUSE!!
Mitch Rechman's in the HOOOOUSE!!
Scottie Pippen, in the house
Turn it out, without a doubt!
A-Larry Johnson, in the HOOOOUSE!!
David Robinson, turn it out
Dennis Rodman, in the house
wit' green hair, without a doubt, c'mon!
(Gotta Basketball Jones)
Eh, Michael, can your ?water? ?daughter? ?Yolanda? play?!
Don't get mad at me, Michael, I just asked you simple question!
Does your woman got game?!
Alright, alirght, I'll leave you alone then!
You goin' tryin' to be a bully! (You go it!)
Bob Costas's in the HOOOOUSE!!
Dr. J, in the HOOOOUSE!!
Bill Walten, in the HOOOOUSE!!
Sheryl Miller, in the house!
Bugs Bunny, in the house!
Elmer Fudd, in the HOOOOUSE!!
Tweety Bird, what 'cha heard?
Pass the word, Tweety Bird
Sylvester, my broth-a
No oth-a, undercov-a
Everybody plays basketball!
Mike Tyson, shoots the ball, (Damn right!)
Against the wall, makes it fall
My mama plays basketball!
Charles Bark-LAY, in the house!
Kenan Anderson, in the HOOOOUSE!!
Shawn Kemp, gon' turn it OUUUT!!
Jack Nicholson, in the HOOOOUSE!!
Courtside, wit-out a doubt!
(He's never gonna give it up! Never walk away!)
Spike Lee, in the HOOOOUSE!!
Chillin', without a DOUBT!!
Kid Rock
Devil Without A Cause
Where You At Rock
Bitch
Where you at Rock, where you at
Answering Machine: Beep
You fucking ass fucking hole
(Where you at Rock, where you at)
Where the fuck are you
You fucking love me?
Yeah mother fucking right
Where the fuck are you? What are you doing?
(Where you at Rock, where you at)
Fucking some groupie bitch
Goodbye
Fuck Off
You know what I hope your fucking dick fucking falls off
(Where you at Rock, where you at)
And when it does, maybe you'll have some mother fucking time for me
You fucking asshole
Don't call me no more
(Where you at Rock, where you at)
Don't call
Don't beg
Don't call
Nothing at all, bye
(Where you at Rock, where you at)
Answering Machine: Beep
Yo Rock it's Carp
Ahh where you at man?
It's about 3 o'clock here in New York
I guess it's about 8 o'clock in London
Ahh your supposed to be at Abby Road finishing lyrics
(Where you at Rock, where you at)
I just got a call from one of these guys and he mentioned that you would
Ahh that you were thinking about going to Amsterdam
Which I just wanted to let you know that if you were pondering that
(Where you at Rock, where you at)
That it is not a good idea
We have matchering in three days
(Where you at Rock, where you at)
Ahh just remind you
I'm at the office, see ya
(Where you at Rock, where you at)
Answering Machine: Beep
Where you at rock, where you at
Bobby where are you?
(Where you at Rock, where you at)
It's Sunday afternoon at 4 o'clock
You know I did ask you to be at 3
You promised me you'd be here
(Where you at Rock, where you at)
Were having a special party for the whole family
It's Father's Day and I'm really upset
(Where you at Rock, where you at)
You know, we planned this whole thing around you
Well Father's Day was the other day and yet you couldn't make it
(Where you at Rock, where you at)
So we made this whole party around you
Now where the hell are ya?
(Where you at Rock, where you at)
I'm really gettin a little heated
Please call me right back, now
(Where you at Rock, where you at)
Answering Machine: Beep
Rock, it's Kracker
What the fuck are you doing?
(Where you at Rock, where you at)
I'm at the Tellstar
This ghetto ass fuckin place with four smokin ass three bitches
Ready to turn them the fuck out
You were supposed to be here forty minutes ago
What the fuck are you doin?
Ah call me back ah...
(The phone is picked up by Kid Rock)
Rock: Yo, Yo, Yo
Kracker: Hey
Rock: Hey
Kracker: What the fuck are you doin?
Rock: Yo, yo, I'll be right, I'll be right there
Kracker: Aight
Rock: See ya
Kracker: Peace
Uh, I grew a herding cattle
I got more rhymes than heroin in Seattle
You wanna battle with the Rock quit frontin
I'll spit on your ass and then tell you that you ain't nothin
Grab your honey and your beer and I'll break South
Take your money then I'll tell ya get the hell out
I'll put your head out, this is my night
How ya gonna step with Rock when I got the mic
I shot the sheriff and the deputy too
Paid off the feds now its all about my crew
What you hoes wanna do
One at a time or all at once I'll still roll through your whole crew
Like a south bound trucker
Hoss and mother fuckers take shorts
Mother fuckers take a loss
And when you step with your anger
I'm like the robot from lost in space (Danger Danger)
I give a warning but if you don't take it
I'll put my arm around your neck like we're cool then I'll break it
It's all real cop a feel from my steel
Here's the deal when I say clap your hands like a seal
Or better yet give respect where it's earned
You'll eat me up I'm like a hot pepper and you might get burned
You took a turn for the worst
Walked up in my face rode away in a hurse
Now how you gonna front on that
Kid Rock's in the house that's where I'm at
Where you at Rock, where you at
Over here to the rear with your girl the fourties of beer
Where you at Rock, where you at
Over there with the bad attitude cause I just don't care
Where you at Rock, where you at, Uh
Where you at Rock, where you at
One-two and it don't stop
Three-Four and it don't quit
One-two and it don't stop
From the depths of hell to God's right hand side
I'm what's left of the get paid, self made pride
I'll step in stride, I'm raw as cow hide
My first LP is still sellin that ain't no Jive
Am I the chosen one
Some people ain't getttin where I'm comin from
Or where I'm goin to stand back
Kid Rock's in the house that's where I'm at
Where you at Rock, where you at
Over here to the rear with the fourties of beer
Where you at Rock, where you at
Over there with the bad attitude cause I just don't care
Where you at Rock, where you at, Uh... Uh
Where you at Rock, where you at
Rock the house Yooooooooooo
Come On
And I'll be the long haired wizard with the lazy eye
Ask the ladies and they'll tell ya that I'm crazy fly
I'm steppin to the mic like a soldier bro
I hate to sound like a dick but I told ya so hoe
Old Crow and a soul full of desperation
I'm rockin up on the mic with no consideration
For you're church or you're family
Ayn Rand couldn't stand me so she banned me
I'm like a dandy lion Jack
You can cut me down and then I'll pop right back
And attack from the back like a great white
I'm not down with the scrappin but I'm down for the gun fight
Behind my back talkin shit
But when I front your ass you wanna act like a little bitch
Keep on and get your ass macked
Kid Rock's in the house that's where I'm at
Where you at Rock, where you at
Over here to the rear with the fourties of beer
Where you at Rock, where you at
Over there with the bad attitude cause I just don't care
Where you at Rock, where you at
Over here, Over here, Uh, Over Here
Where you at Rock, where you at
Over there with the bad attitude cause I just don't care
Where you at Rock, where you at
Uh, Uh, Uh, Uh, Uh, Uh, Uh, Uh
Where you at Rock, where you at
Uh, Uh, Uh, Uh, Uh, Uh, Uh, Uh
Where you at Rock, where you at
Over here, Over here, Uh, Over Here
Where you at Rock, where you at
Over there with the bad attitude cause I just don't care
Ladies and Gentlemen of the G. E. D. class of 1999,
i have one piece of advice for you,
No matter what a stripper tells you,
There Is No Sex In The Champagne Room! NONE!
Oh, theres champagne in the champagne room
But, you don't want champagne, you want sex.
And theres no sex, in the champagne room.
Dont go to parties with metal detectors.
Sure, It feels safe inside,
But what about all those niggers waiting outside with guns,
They Know You Aint Got One!
If a woman tells you shes 20, and looks 16, shes 12.
If she tells you shes 26, and looks 26, Shes Damn Near 40!
Take off that silly ass hat.
The ODB couldnt have possibly committed all those crimes.
Coolio did some of that shit
Young black men:
If you go to a movie theater, and someone steps on your foot,
Let it slide!
Why spend the next 20 years in jail b-cuz
Someone smudged Your Puma!
Cornbread-Aint nothin wrong with that!
No matter what you think of what I'm sayin,
remember this one thing:
There Is No Sex In The Champagne Room!
(That guy starts singin)
No Sex In The Champagne Room,
No Sex In The Champagne Room!
No Sex In The Champagne Room,
No Sex In The Champagne Room!
Absolutly, positively no sex in the champagne room
If a homeless person has a funny sign,
He hasnt been homeless that long.
A real homeless person is too hungry to be funny.
If a girl has a pierced tongue,
She'll probably suck your dick
(That'd Be great, Yeaaaah!)
If a guy has a pierced tongue,
He'll probably suck your dick
(Dont want that Noooooo!)
Heres a horoscope for everyone:
Aquarius-You're Gonna Die!
Capricorn-You're Gonna Die!
Gemini-You're Gonna Die TWICE!
Leo-You're Gonna Die!
Scorpio-You're Gonna Die fuckin!
No one goes to Hooters for wings.
If you've been dating a man for 4 months,
And you havent met any of his friends yet,
You Are Not His Girlfriend!
Some of the things I said may not apply to you.
Some of the things I said may offend you
But no matter who you are,
You must remember this one thing:
No matter what a stripper says,
There Is No Sex In The Champagne Room! NONE!
No Sex In The Champagne Room,
No Sex In The Champagne Room!
Cant get none, Nooooo!
Cant have none, Nooooo!
No Sex In The Champagne Room,
![Chris Rock: Gosto - Legendado [www.StandupComedia.com]](http://web.archive.org./web/20131026062054im_/http://i.ytimg.com/vi/UgjtXhnxUm8/default.jpg "Chris Rock: Gosto - Legendado [www.StandupComedia.com]")
