Get Smart

Max & 99 Are Back!||Don Adams and Barbara Feldon are together again... in all-new episodes of the comedy series that made television history!||The smarts are back in control.

Cast

• Don Adams
• Elaine Hendrix
• Heather Morgan
• Barbara Feldon
• Andy Dick
• Markus Redmond
• Louis Mandylor
• Bernie Kopell
• Monty Hoffman
• Leah Lail
• Mark Roberts
• Terry Kiser
• Richard Fancy
• Alexander Enberg
• Kario Salem
• Peter Crombie
• David Ketchum
• John Petlock
• Pat Millicano
• Phil LaMarr
• Richard Riehle

• Season 1
• Episode 1: Pilot
  New KAOS leader: Ladies and gentleman, thank you for flying in. We may have lost the cold war, but w...
• Episode 2: Casino Evil
  Ivan Buttinoff: [on casino payphone] Hello, hello, you must help me, my life is in danger.::Trudy: [...
• Episode 3: Goodbye Ms. Chip
  Agent 66: Zach, there's nobody around. You don't need a gun.::Zach Smart: This is not a gun, it's a ...
• Episode 4: Shoot Up the Charts
  Zach Smart: Why would KAOS buy a record company and then kill the only artist?::Chief Maxwell Smart:...
• Episode 5: Passenger 99
  Agent 66: Bad news, Chief. We intercepted a transmission and KAOS just contacted a well known assasi...
• Episode 6: Wurst Enemies
  Agent 66: [to KAOS captor] If I could get my hands out of this cheap KAOS cement, I'd wrap those gol...
• Episode 7: Liver Let Die
  Agent 66: KAOS always did have a better healthcare than us.::Zach Smart: Yeah, that's for sure. It's...

Get Smart

Maxwell Smart is a bumbling secret agent, assigned by his "Chief" to foil KAOS' latest plans for taking over the world. Invariably, Smart's bumbling detective style lands him in hot water. Lucky for him, his faithful assistant "99" is there to bail him out.

Cast

• Don Adams
• Barbara Feldon
• Edward Platt
• Robert Karvelas
• Red
• David Ketchum
• Rose Michtom
• Richard Gautier
• King Moody
• Stacy Keach Sr.
• Bernie Kopell
• Victor French
• Howard Caine

• Season 1
• Episode 1: Mr. Big
  Chief: Max, you realize that you'll be facing every kind of danger imaginable.::Maxwell Smart: And.....
• Episode 2: Diplomat's Daughter
  [repeated line]::The Claw: Not The Craw! The Craw!...
• Episode 3: School Days
  Maxwell Smart, Agent 86: When the moon is full, the tide is high.::Mrs. Green: You must want the spy...
• Episode 4: Our Man in Toyland
  Maxwell Smart, Agent 86: I'm being followed. Use emergency telephone plan Z....
• Episode 5: Now You See Him, Now You Don't
  Chief of Control: Max, I don't mean to suggest that you're not telling the truth, but isn't it just ...
• Episode 6: Washington 4, Indians 3
  Maxwell Smart - Agent 86: [speaking into his tomahawk telephone] Don't worry 99, 43 is a good man.::...
• Episode 7: KAOS in CONTROL
  Chief of Control: Gentlemen, as of this moment, all members of control are on Magenta alert....
• Episode 8: The Day Smart Turned Chicken
  Maxwell Smart: Now remember doctor, I want you to wipe everything from your memory.::Dr. Fish: Wipe ...
• Episode 9: Satan Place
  99: [Max has examined a few strands of hair, odd shaped piece of metal, a button and a piece of pape...
• Episode 10: Our Man in Leotards
  Maxwell Smart: Wait a minute, Chief. Emilio Naharana. Isn't he the world famous ballet dancer?::Chie...
• Episode 11: Too Many Chiefs
  Maxwell Smart: It's so simple! No wonder we were never able to crack that code. That's the way it al...
• Episode 12: My Nephew the Spy
  Maxwell Smart: I demand the cone of silence.::Chief: Max, do we have to?::Maxwell Smart: Well, with ...
• Episode 13: Aboard the Orient Express
  Chief: [looking at slide # 4, a deceased Agent 85 aboard the Orient Express] Your conclusion, 86?::M...
• Episode 14: Weekend Vampire
  Professor Sontag: How did this melody go?::Maxwell Smart: Well, have you ever heard the song 'Heart ...
• Episode 15: Survival of the Fattest
  Chief: Now Max, this is a dangerous one. This woman is ruthless, and a potential killer. You'll be r...
• Episode 16: Double Agent
  Maxwell Smart: You know 99, I really feel sorry for professor Parker. He's spend so much time workin...
• Episode 17: Kisses for KAOS
  Maxwell Smart: You'll never get away with this, Savage!::Savage: Oh, why Mr. Smart?::Maxwell Smart: ...
• Episode 18: The Dead Spy Scrawls
  Maxwell Smart - Agent 86: Chief, I think Willie has one of your headaches......
• Episode 19: Back to the Old Drawing Board
  Mr. Natz: That is why we have come to you. Probably the most accomplished evil genius in America.::D...
• Episode 20: All in the Mind
  Chief: Max, be reasonable. How could a girl drown in a phone booth?::Maxwell Smart: How do I know? M...
• Episode 21: Dear Diary
  Maxwell Smart: That's right, 99. After all, Mr. Gaffer is still one of the best. He's my idol. Did y...
• Episode 22: Smart the Assassin
  Chief: There's no telling where they'll be able to infiltrate next. May be even the Pentagon.::Maxwe...
• Episode 23: I'm Only Human
  Maxwell Smart: There's one thing you've overlooked.::Beastmaster: Oh?::Maxwell Smart: You see, you c...
• Episode 24: Stakeout on Blue Mist Mountain
  Maxwell Smart: [speaking on a fire hydrant phone] Hello Control? This is Maxwell Smart. No, Smart. S...
• Episode 25: The Amazing Harry Hoo
  Bobo: The spy network is just a front. The real money is in the laundry....
• Episode 26: Hubert's Unfinished Symphony
  Badeff: You like that, Mr. Wilcox? Are you certain you're a music lover?::Maxwell Smart: Well, of co...
• Episode 27: Ship of Spies: Part 1
  Maxwell Smart: [a drunken sailor sits down opposite Max and starts slobbering from his glass] Carefu...
• Episode 28: Ship of Spies: Part 2
  Maxwell Smart: 99, I'm positive that this is the section of the rail that gave way.::Agent 99: I'm s...
• Episode 29: Shipment to Beirut
  Maxwell Smart - Agent 86: I don't know what you're selling 99, but I'll take two of each....
• Episode 30: The Last One in Is a Rotten Spy
  Greco: You don't look like a trainer to me.::Maxwell Smart: Is that so. Well, I happen to be an expe...
• Season 2
• Episode 1: Anatomy of a Lover
  Maxwell Smart: [Max has been ordered to disassemble Hymie] Why I can't do that to Hymie, Chief, Hymi...
• Episode 2: Strike While the Agent Is Hot
  Maxwell Smart: Now, here's a point that all the men are very, very interested in: for example. If we...
• Episode 3: A Spy for a Spy
  Siegfried: Well, why don't I come back a little later after you've had time to practice....
• Episode 4: The Only Way to Die
  The title came from the phrase "It's the only way to fly!" from a 1950's Western Airlines advertisin...
• Episode 5: Maxwell Smart, Alias Jimmy Ballantine
  Chief: We're going to have to send a man in to infiltrate that barbershop. Now if we do it successfu...
• Episode 6: Casablanca
  Airport Policeman: Pardon, monsieur, are you perhaps an American tourist?::Maxwell Smart - Agent 86:...
• Episode 7: The Decoy
  Maxwell Smart: [on the verge of crying] I'm sorry Max, It's just that we've had so little time toget...
• Episode 8: Hoo Done It
  The Contessa: I feel so safe with you protecting me, Mr. Smart.::Maxwell Smart - Agent 86: Well, I d...
• Episode 9: Rub-A-Dub-Dub... Three Spies in a Sub
  Siegfried: As one bad guy to one good guy I promise you we shall meet again, Smart!...
• Episode 10: The Greatest Spy on Earth
  Agent 99: Max, that knife missed you by inches.::Maxwell Smart: You think it's some kind of a warnin...
• Episode 11: Island of the Darned
  Agent 99: Oh, Max, how terrible.::Maxwell Smart: He deserved it, 99. He was a Kaos killer.::Agent 99...
• Episode 12: Bronzefinger
  Agent 99: It's just that sometimes I wish you were just an ordinary businessman.::Maxwell Smart: Wel...
• Episode 13: Perils in a Pet Shop
  Maxwell Smart: 99, I'm hit! I'm bleeding!...
• Episode 14: The Whole Tooth and...
  Maxwell Smart: I don't think we should talk right here in the open, Chief, I think we should use the...
• Episode 15: Kiss of Death
  Maxwell Smart: I'm telling you Chief, this was no ordinary kidnap attempt. I happen to have recogniz...
• Episode 16: It Takes One to Know One
  Maxwell Smart: [talking on his shoephone] Right, Chief. I'll with stick with him. Off and on.::Chief...
• Episode 17: Someone Down Here Hates Me
  Siegfried: You fools! Incompetents! Bunglers!Dumkopfs! Sissies! Call yourselves "killers." You are n...
• Episode 18: Cutback at Control
  Senator: Mr. Smart, how many arrests did Control make last year?::Maxwell Smart: I don't know.::Sena...
• Episode 19: The Mummy
  Maxwell Smart: It says here the mummy of the Egyptian King Tut the fourth is due to arrive in the Un...
• Episode 20: The Girls from KAOS
  Miss U.S.A.: Mr. Smart, I'm in terrible danger, aren't I?::Maxwell Smart: Yes Tisha, but don't you w...
• Episode 21: The Man from YENTA
  Agent 99: Oh Max, you're so brave. You're going to get a medal for this.::Maxwell Smart: There's som...
• Episode 22: Smart Fit the Battle of Jericho
  Chief: Max, this job calls for an agent with high intelligence, sharp judgement and total fearlessne...
• Episode 23: Where-What-How-Who Am I?
  Dr. Mangle: Prepare the hypodermic.::Nurse: The death serum?::Dr. Mangle: Yes. And sterilize the nee...
• Episode 24: The Expendable Agent
  Maxwell Smart: I'm getting complaints from the landlord about the gun battles in the hall, and the b...
• Episode 25: How to Succeed in the Spy Business Without Really Trying
  The accounting firm of Price/Stern/Sloan is a reference to the name of 'Leonard Stern' (qv)'s publis...
• Episode 26: Appointment in Sahara
  Chief: Max, this will undoubtedly be the most dangerous mission you've ever gone on. You probably wo...
• Episode 27: Pussycats Galore
  Maxwell Smart: How did you get in here?::Pussycat: I slipped your landlady a dollar and she let me i...
• Episode 28: A Man Called Smart: Part 1
  Chief: [addressing Max, 99 and two more Control agents] Now what I'm about to tell you must not leav...
• Episode 29: A Man Called Smart: Part 2
  Chief: Admiral, what was the President's decision on the ransom?::Admiral Hargrade: Oh, well, I talk...
• Episode 30: A Man Called Smart: Part 3
  This three-part episode was originally written as a script for a feature-length "Get Smart" movie fo...
• Season 3
• Episode 1: The Spy Who Met Himself
  Maxwell Smart: So, the old double agent with the two faces in the twin locker trick.::Agent 13, Impo...
• Episode 2: Viva Smart
  [repeated line]::Maxwell Smart: I asked you not to tell me that!...
• Episode 3: Witness for the Persecution
  'Don Adams (I)' (qv) sings in this episode, doing a solo version of "When the Saints Go Marching In"...
• Episode 4: The Spirit Is Willing
  Agent 99: [as they meet an overweight psychic] Mrs. Ferris said she's a medium.::Maxwell Smart - Age...
• Episode 5: Maxwell Smart, Private Eye
  Maxwell Smart: Where's the Cone of Silence?::Agent 99: Max, we've leased it to the CIA.::Maxwell Sma...
• Episode 6: Supersonic Boom
  Billet: Gaucho, before I went to work for KAOS... I was an actor. [indicates Goucho to shush]::Bille...
• Episode 7: One of Our Olives Is Missing
  Waiter: [grabs 86 by the lapels, lifting him off the ground] Listen bud, I don't like people to look...
• Episode 8: When Good Fellows Get Together
  Hymie: Groppo is a nice name. I'm looking forward to meeting him.::Maxwell Smart: Hymie, Groppo does...
• Episode 9: Dr. Yes
  The title is a parody of the first James Bond film _Dr. No (1962)_ (qv)....
• Episode 10: That Old Gang of Mine
  Maxwell Smart: Max! How did you do that?...
• Episode 11: The Mild Ones
  Chief: Max, I don't know what I'm going to do about you. You bungle assignment after assignment.::Ma...
• Episode 12: Classification: Dead
  Maxwell Smart: What are you, some kind of a nut that likes to see people die?::Mr. Hercules: Yes, it...
• Episode 13: The Mysterious Dr. T
  Maxwell Smart: Listen, 99, did you find out anything about that restaurant that sold me the poison c...
• Episode 14: The King Lives?
  Maxwell Smart: This is the first time I've ever met a king face to face.::Chief: Not face to face, M...
• Episode 15: The Groovy Guru
  Wanda: [sign] The Grateful Dead are alive and living in Beverly Hills.::Maxwell Smart: [countersign]...
• Episode 16: The Little Black Book: Part 1
  Maxwell Smart: [on regular phone at home] Listen, 99, are you free tonight?...
• Episode 17: The Little Black Book: Part 2
  Maxwell Smart: The old Maxwell-Smart silhouette on the window shade trick. That's the second time KA...
• Episode 18: Don't Look Back
  USA...
• Episode 19: 99 Loses Control
  Maxwell Smart: [Max has two theater tickets] Oh, well you see 99, I was kinda hoping that maybe you ...
• Episode 20: The Wax Max
  Maxwell Smart: [Max and 99 are almost hit by an arrow in the Tunnel of Love] Hm, I wonder what Dr. S...
• Episode 21: Operation Ridiculous
  Maxwell Smart: Well, you fell for the old remote control self propelled spinning doorknob trick....
• Episode 22: Spy, Spy, Birdie
  A.J. Pfister: Won't you please sign my petition?::Maxwell Smart: I'm sorry, Mr. Pfister, but I can't...
• Episode 23: Run, Robot, Run
  Maxwell Smart: [Hymie has just wolfed down Max's hotdog] How did it taste?::Hymie: Delicious. Even t...
• Episode 24: The Hot Line
  Maxwell Smart: [talking on ice-cream phone] There's no time to wait, 99. I wanna catch them red-hand...
• Episode 25: Die, Spy
  KAOS Agent: I'm a sportsman. I'll let you pick the way you wanna die.::Maxwell Smart: Oh. Ok, eh, ho...
• Episode 26: The Reluctant Redhead
  Maxwell Smart: Of couse. Where else would they hide a painting except behind a wall safe?...
• Season 4
• Episode 1: The Impossible Mission
  Agent 99: You're not taking me on this assignment, are you, Max?::Maxwell Smart: Eh... no, I'm not.:...
• Episode 2: Snoopy Smart vs. the Red Baron
  Chief: KAOS has destroyed almost 90% of America's potato crop.::Maxwell Smart: Oh, I didn't know tha...
• Episode 3: Closely Watched Planes
  Busby: [having just learned 86 and 99 are engaged] How long have known her, 86?::Maxwell Smart: Oh, ...
• Episode 4: The Secret of Sam Vittorio
  Agent 99: These are amazing newsreel pictures, Chief!::Chief: They're not newsreel pictures, 99. Con...
• Episode 5: Diamonds Are a Spy's Best Friend
  Chief: [having just been drenched by a passing car] I'm gonna murder Schleppenheimer for inventing t...
• Episode 6: The Worst Best Man
  Several CONTROL agents meet with foul play. The connection; they are all agents Max asked to be best...
• Episode 7: A Tale of Two Tails
  Chief: [on phone] If you like you can take one of those new comb phones with you....
• Episode 8: The Return of the Ancient Mariner
  Chief: [Max and the Chief show each other their special agent badges] Who wrote Little Women?::Maxwe...
• Episode 9: With Love and Twitches
  Maxwell Smart: [99's mother is at the door] Is she moving in with us already? We're not even married...
• Episode 10: The Laser Blazer
  Maxwell Smart: [Max is trying on a blue blazer] Are you kidding me, this is long enough to be an ove...
• Episode 11: The Farkas Fracas
  Naomi Farkas: I can't get over how many locks you have on your door.::99: Oh well, Max leaves me alo...
• Episode 12: Temporarily Out of CONTROL
  99: [Max has booked a trip to the Caribbean on a banana boat] A banana boat, is that safe?::Maxwell ...
• Episode 13: Schwartz's Island
  Maxwell Smart: This is the strangest island that I've even been on. There's absolutely nothing to ea...
• Episode 14: One Nation Invisible
  The title is from a line in the American Pledge of Allegiance, "One nation indivisible."...
• Episode 15: Hurray for Hollywood
  Victor Polo: The irony of this is exhilerating. Whoever would have thought we'd run into a situation...
• Episode 16: The Day They Raided the Knights
  Maxwell Smart: [99 is lying on a conveyor belt tied to a surfboard] 99, this is no time to go surfin...
• Episode 17: Tequila Mockingbird
  Maxwell Smart: [looking at a photograph] So this is the little devil that cost Conrad Palmeter his l...
• Episode 18: I Shot 86 Today
  Agent 99: Do you think that's our contact over there?::Maxwell Smart: We'll know in a minute, 99, I'...
• Episode 19: Absorb the Greek
  Agent 99: We hate to tell you this, Chief, but we've been tailing you for the last week.::Chief: Why...
• Episode 20: To Sire, with Love: Part 1
  Chief: All I asked for was a moustache, you call that a moustache?::Maxwell Smart: [touching his bus...
• Episode 21: To Sire, with Love: Part 2
  King of Caronia: What is that terrible smell?::99: Eh, horseradish.::King of Caronia: Horseradish? S...
• Episode 22: Shock It to Me
  Maxwell Smart: Wait a minute, Chief, I read about that case in the papers. Three guys went into Fort...
• Episode 23: Leadside
  Chief: Leadside is the most diabolically clever criminal we've ever run across. He's never yet made ...
• Episode 24: Greer Window
  Chief: Where's Max?::Larabee: He's trying to get into the house through the back way.::Chief: That's...
• Episode 25: The Not-So-Great Escape: Part 1
  Siegfried: [addressing captive Control agents] Prisoners of Camp Gitchee Goommee Noonee Wa-Wa, you h...
• Episode 26: The Not-So-Great Escape: Part 2
  Siegfried: Starker?::Starker: Ja?::Siegfried: Why did the dogs run away?::Starker: They didn't like ...
• Season 5
• Episode 1: Pheasant Under Glass
  Chief: [meeting on the moon] What took you so long? Do you know what time it is?::Maxwell Smart: Yes...
• Episode 2: Ironhand
  Marco: KAOS has just been aquired by I.H. Industries.::Maxwell Smart: Of course, I.H. Industries. Wh...
• Episode 3: Valerie of the Dolls
  Chief: California is expecting an earthquake. Now this is the perfect alibi for KAOS: they blow Cali...
• Episode 4: Widow Often Annie
  Ann Cameron: [about Maxwell Smart] I'd better move very fast to kill this one.::Schroeder: Why do yo...
• Episode 5: The Treasure of C. Errol Madre
  Chief: When KAOS hijacked that money from us yesterday, Max, it put is into deep financial trouble. ...
• Episode 6: Smart Fell on Alabama
  Chief: Max, this is a suicide mission. Whoever goes, will probably never come back.::Maxwell Smart: ...
• Episode 7: And Baby Makes Four: Part 1
  Larabee: [keeping tabs on a tail] Chief, the cat is headed for the bus terminal.::Chief: So far so g...
• Episode 8: And Baby Makes Four: Part 2
  Maxwell Smart: [Max has climbed up through a trap door in a closet] 99, you wouldn't believe what th...
• Episode 9: Physician Impossible
  Maxwell Smart: [transporting Big Eddie Little to prison by walking a marathon] Well, it won't be lon...
• Episode 10: The Apes of Rath
  Agent 99: [Chuck has slipped on a bananaskin and fell of the rooftop] Oh, Max isn't that ironic? It ...
• Episode 11: Age Before Duty
  Maxwell Smart: [password] I lost my dinghy.::Tough Sailor: I think you're a little dinghy....
• Episode 12: Is This Trip Necessary?
  Chief: [pushes button on intercom] What is it, Larabee?::Larabee: [on other line] How did you know i...
• Episode 13: Ice Station Siegfried
  Chief: [on public phone] General, this is the Chief of Control. I'm in Miami and I won't be able to ...
• Episode 14: Moonlighting Becomes You
  Maxwell Smart: [Max has got Lemon Meringue Pie all over the Chief] Sorry about... that, Chief. What'...
• Episode 15: House of Max: Part 1
  Chief Inspector Sparrow: We don't use old song titles as passwords anymore.::Maxwell Smart: You don'...
• Episode 16: House of Max: Part 2
  Chief Inspector Sparrow: First Jack the Ripper who terrorized London at the turn of the century and ...
• Episode 17: Rebecca of Funny-Folk Farm
  Maxwell Smart: I don't understand how this airline can stay in business when they only carry one pas...
• Episode 18: The Mess of Adrian Listenger
  Maxwell Smart, Agent 86: Well, you forgot one thing, my friend. Adrian Listenger was hard of hearing...
• Episode 19: Witness for the Execution
  Chief: I have a surprise for you. [hands Max a note that says 'Mike hidden']::Maxwell Smart: You're ...
• Episode 20: How Green Was My Valet
  Maxwell Smart: Look at this, 99.::Agent 99: Did you find the fuel?::Maxwell Smart: No, I found a sal...
• Episode 21: And Only Two Ninety-Nine
  Chief: [on phone in his office] 99 is in her bed?::Maxwell Smart: [on phone in bedroom] Well of cour...
• Episode 22: Smartacus
  Chief: [on phone in office] Max, does the name Montague Leach mean anything to you?::Maxwell Smart: ...
• Episode 23: What's It All About, Algie?
  Chief: Larabee, confiscate that plant.::Larabee: I can't Chief. I'm not a priest....
• Episode 24: Hello, Columbus - Goodbye, America
  Maxwell Smart: [looking at Sunflowers by Van Gogh] What would you say that is worth, 99?::Agent 99: ...
• Episode 25: Do I Hear a Vaults?
  Chief: The most obvious place for a book is in a library. And sometimes, the most obvious place is t...
• Episode 26: I Am Curiously Yellow
  The Whip: Old Chinese saying: punishment is companion of failiure.::The Whip: [whips Abe Fu Yung fou...