As new parents, it is understandable that we might be somewhat naïve when it comes to knowing exactly what our new baby will need and what they won’t. We can only really go on our gut instinct, and the advice kindly offered by others.

It does sometimes seem, though, that there is a growing culture of new parents who would rather risk going overboard than under, and these trusting types provide the market for more and more unnecessary baby paraphernalia to make it onto the baby shop shelves, and into our homes.

Here I present some perfect examples of purchases that you can make, if you really have nothing better to spend your money on.

Mummywraps

Worried about your baby potentially getting affected by the radiation emitted by your cell phone? Actually, I bet you never even really thought about it, did you?  But, someone has!

Thanks to these simple and, oh so discreet, Mummywrap undergarments, you can now rest easy knowing that your little one is protected from all electro-magnetic radiation.

Really?

Quite honestly, if this isn’t one of the more ridiculous inventions to enter the Mummy market, then I just don’t know what is. As if there aren’t already enough things for expectant mums to worry about, we are now being exposed to scaremongering about the dangers of using our mobiles for the odd game of Candy Crush, and heating up our calorie laden hot chocolate in the microwave. Come on! Leave us some pleasure at least!

Why Cry Monitors

Have no idea why your baby is crying?  No, most new parents don’t. It’s called learning, and is all part of the rollercoaster journey that is parenthood.

But, thankfully, in the meantime, you can buy a machine to help! That’s right, folks … a machine!  A MACHINE, that apparently can detect when your baby is hungry, annoyed, bored, sleepy, or stressed.

Hmm, OK, call me a cynic, call me old-fashioned but how on earth can a battery operated gadget claim to ‘understand’ my baby’s cries and, secondly, is it not quicker to run through your options first? I mean, seriously, stick a boob or bottle in a mouth to see if your baby is hungry, smell a bum to see if it’s dirty, and rock incessantly to see if baby falls asleep when tired. No batteries required.

Temperature Controlled (and Train Door Detecting) Strollers

I don’t know about you, but my baby’s temperature was something I was often VERY worried about as a new parent. In fact, it was up there with being sleep deprived, having sore nipples, and generally having a head that resembled scrambled eggs. And, it was most certainly not something that I could simply determine by, oh, I don’t know, picking my baby up and feeling his head/body.

Alas, if only I had have known then, what I know now! For, I now find out that there is such a thing as a temperature controlled stroller. But, wait, there’s more! Not only does this particular stroller allow the parent to adjust the temperate and humidity inside it, but it also has a device that detects if the buggy gets caught in the door of a train!

By now, you are probably guessing where I am going with this, aren’t you? For starters, whatever happened to common sense, right? You go out and it’s cold, you snuggle a baby up in a blankets to avoid hyperthermia.  You go out and it’s hot, you dress baby in cool clothes to prevent overheating. Not really rocket science is it?

And, as for the door detection device … quite frankly, words fail me. Is there actually anyone EVER who WOULDN’T notice if their buggy was jammed in the door of a train?

Cinderella Carriage Crib

For every little Princess that ever there was, there is now the perfect crib available.  Inspired by that classic fairy tale, Cinderella, this crib comes complete with wheels and a pumpkin carriage, but, fortunately (or, perhaps unfortunately, if you happen to be sleep deprived), comes with a guarantee not to turn into one at midnight.

It’s the must have item to complete any little girl’s nursery, and something that your child will simply never grow out of.  Oh, OK, yes … maybe after a couple of years.

To be perfectly honest, not only is this crib unnecessary, impractical, and completely over the top, but it also comes with a hefty price tag that screams at the top of its voice, “I’ve got more money than sense!”, most likely accompanied by a whispered, “Have you seen our matching accessories?”.

Temperature Sensitive Bottles

Ever wanted to take the ‘guess work’ out of how hot the contents of your baby’s bottle is?

Well, the answer is here, in the form of bottles with thermochromic ink which, quite simply, displays green when the milk is warm, and red when it’s too hot.

Once again, I am taking the old fashioned high road here, and laughing in the face of yet ANOTHER gadget that offers to do something for us that we are perfectly capable of doing ourselves with the tongues and wrists with which we have been blessed.

More from Kidspot:

• Maternity style – tips and top finds for mums-to-be
• 10 great shopping sites you’ll wish you didn’t know about
• Kids bedrooms that grow with them

More on the weirdest baby products:

• Totally weird products for babies from Parenting (US)
• Most ridiculous baby products from BabyGizmo
• Ridiculous baby products from Huffington Post