Are those numchucks in your pants or are you just happy to see me?
Let me take you back to the day that I met my China Girl
When I landed a Pam like on the San Fran Real World
I was sweatin' like a vegetable inside of a wok
I'd never been to Asia Minor but I was gonna Bangkok
Like Kristy Yamaguchi I had to break the ice
Should I talk about Mothra M*A*S*H or shrimp-fried rice?
I was sharp as a Chinese star but it's a line that I threw
Just Thirty Seconds Over Tokyo and this Johnny would Woo
I took a shot like Jeanette Lee put on my moves like Bruce Lee
I told her every Soon Yi needs a little Woody
She said for all the tea in China me vagina no free
But me love will linger longer than the Ming Dynasty
I said I needed her to do and her to do my laundry
I knew she needed a way to legally stay within the country
She was made in Taiwan I said I'm O.K. with that
Just promise me you'll never try to eat my cat
Chinky Chinky bang bang I love you
Chinky Chinky bang bang I know you love me too
Chinky Chinky bang bang I love you
Chinky Chinky bang bang I know you love me too
In Japan the hand is used as a knife
In Japan a man's wife's hand job then can cost him his life
But now this Captain Kirk has his own Sulu
I'll shampoo her Fu Manchu with Lo Hung Wang Goo
'Cause I ride my slant-eyed Slope like a brand new Kawasaki
Oh my Chinky she's so kinky got me hot like Nagasaki
Burnin' up like Napalm burstin' like an A-bomb
I think I got that jungle fever but I caught it in 'Nam
She's like an oriental rug 'cause I lay her where I please
Then I blindfold her with dental floss and get on my knees
I'm a diving Kamikaze eating out Chinese
First I'll have the Poo Poo Platter then some tuna sushi
She'll be screamin' like Godzilla and kickin' like Jackie Chan
I'll get her redder than China wetter than the Sea of Japan
Like the Chinese New Year she's gonna see fireworks
Now be a good Chinky and go press Jimmy's shirts
Chinky Chinky bang bang I love you
Chinky Chinky bang bang I know you love me too
Chinky Chinky bang bang I love you
Chinky Chinky bang bang I know you love me too
Sing Chinky sing.
One more time.
Chinky Chinky bang bang I love you
Chinky Chinky bang bang I know you love me too
Chinky Chinky bang bang I love you
Chinky Chinky bang bang I know you love me too
Chinky Chinky bang bang Chinky bang
Chinky Chinky bang biddily biddily biddily bang
Chinky Chinky bang bang Chinky bang
Chinky Chinky bang biddily biddily biddily bang
Chinky Chinky bang bang Chinky bang
Chinky Chinky bang biddily biddily biddily bang
Chinky Chinky bang bang Chinky bang
Chinky Chinky bang biddily biddily biddily bang
Chinky Chinky bang bang Chinky bang
Chinky Chinky bang biddily biddily biddily bang
Chinky Chinky bang bang Chinky bang
Chinky Chinky bang biddily biddily biddily bang
Who's the knuckleheads?
We are the knuckleheads
Who's the knuckleheads?
We are the knuckleheads
Who's the knuckleheads?
We are the knuckleheads
Who's the knuckleheads?
We're the knuckleheads
If you would be the peanut butter then I would play the jelly
I'll peel apart your bread and then I'll penetrate your belly
Your blood stains mighty bad I wash it off with Coast
Now I'll take my jelly and spread it on your toast
No one rhymes faster the mic is my blaster
So grasp some Shasta the mighty mic master
Giving ya communion with your lips on my cup
Pump pump pump pump me up
Now I drive real slow around 3 O'Clock
I see the little girlies as I cut across the block
I love it when they're young
"Get In!" is what I say
I think I love it most when there's a pickaxe through their head
You're a dumb ass stupid Vera and I'm the one that Flo calls Mel
Puttin' holes right through your body like Harvey Keitel
You're a broken down Big Wheel I'm a banana-seated Schwinn
Take the butt of your gun and smash their nose in
I'm a leggo-Eggo maniac I'm stickier than some Fun Tack
Trip to the store and get another six pack
Bomb dropping like at ground zero
Like Colonel Klink is getting fucked by Hogan's Heroes
Eenie meanie miney mo you took your shot you missed
I wasn't a good boy this year I'm not on Santa's list
I gave your girl some sausage and than I slit your wrists
Now I'm taking your ass out like my name was Burgeous Meredith
Who's the knuckleheads?
We are the knuckleheads
Who's the knuckleheads?
We are the knuckleheads
Who's the knuckleheads?
We are the knuckleheads
Who's the knuckleheads?
We're the knuckleheads
Fast fast quick Bic like ass when ya pass gas
You threw it like a girl that's why you got picked last
And Mr. Easy does it never did it now did he
Jesus is coming so look busy
And you and your chumps are gonna get your lumps
I got the goose that laid the golden egg you got goose bumps
Cause I'm black y'all, it's a fact y'all
And if you try to take what's mine I'll take it back y'all
I wish all skinheads smelled like Mr. Clean
And spooks were only out on Halloween
Cause the whole damn world would be peachy keen
With Rip Taylor on the cover of every magazine so go
Rip Rip Rip Taylor
Rip Rip Rip Taylor
Rip Taylor Rip Taylor
Your girlfriend we nailed her
My mom's got opposable thumbs
Your mom's Weezie Jefferson
I'd rather eat fresh heiny chow
And i ain't crazy about no god damn butthole no how
Batter roll and whip ya like a fucken' kanoli
If Satan had a hockey team theni'd be the goalie
Cause we're dumber than driftwood dumber than your mama
Dumber than a supermodel dumber than Kwanza
Who's the knuckleheads?
We are the knuckleheads
Who's the knuckleheads?
We are the knuckleheads
Who's the knuckleheads?
We are the knuckleheads
Who's the knuckleheads?
We're the knuckleheads
When I saw you I thought i must dream
But I did not.
When I heared you I thought I hear an Angel speak
But I did not.
When I spoke to you I thought it wil be good
But it came the other Way.
And all I made was
Refr.:
For You (for you)
And me too (for you)
What can I do to make you believe it's
For You
Bridge:
I miss you
Coz I need you
Why can't you feel that for me too?
As you told me, that you won't be mine
I thought I must kill myself
But why I did not?
Bad Habit...
All I made was
Refr.:
For You (for you)
And me to (for you)
What can I do to make you believe it's
For You?
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire,
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire,
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire,
We don't need no water let the motherfucker burn,
Burn motherfucker burn.
Hello my name is Jimmy Pop and I'm a dumb white guy,
I'm not old or new but middle school fifth grade like junior high,
I don't know mofo if y'all peeps be buggin' give props to my ho cause she all fly,
But I can take the heat cause I'm the other white meat known as 'Kid Funky Fried',
Yeah I'm hung like planet Pluto hard to see with the naked eye,
But if I crashed into Uranus I would stick it where the sun don't shine,
Cause I'm kind of like Han Solo always stroking my own wookie,
I'm the root of all that's evil yeah but you can call me cookie,
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire,
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire,
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire,
We don't need no water let the motherfucker burn,
Burn motherfucker burn.
Yo yo this hard-core ghetto gangster image takes a lot of practice,
I'm not black like Barry White no I am white like Frank Black is,
So if man is five and the devil is six than that must make me seven,
This honkey's gone to heaven,
But if I go to hell then I hope I burn well,
I'll spend my days with J.F.K., Marvin Gaye, Martha Raye, and Lawrence Welk,
And Kurt Cobain, Kojak, Mark Twain and Jimi Hendrix's poltergeist,
And Webster yeah Emmanuel Lewis cause he's the anti-christ,
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire,
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire,
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire,
We don't need no water let the motherfucker burn,
Burn motherfucker burn.
Everybody here we go,
Ohh Ohh,
C'mon party people,
Ohh Ohh,
Throw your hands in the air,
Ohh Ohh,
C'mon party people,
Ohh Ohh,
Wave 'em like you don't care,
Ohh Ohh,
C'mon party people,
Ohh Ohh,
Everbody say ho,
Ohh Ohh,
C'mon party people,
Ohh Ohh,
Everybody here we go.
{Uhh, that was creepy
I would rather slurp rancid tuna salad out of my own ass
Or scour my boobies off with a rusty S O S pad
so set your phasers on kill if ya will so catch the feeling
got your head a pumping a back and forth until it hits the ceiling
now I'm wheeling dealing stealing johnny's apple seeds
slapped you with a baseball bat upside the head until it bleeds
showing no mercy step like solomon grundy
hit ya with a table leg like I was ted bundy
I bludgeoned you you're bloodied I think it's kinda of funny
first I'll take your money and then I'll swipe your honey
dip slip to the a. m. what is that you're saying?
you think you start praying it's not a game you're playing
pump one pump two listen to the shotgun blast
I'll blast that sorry ass when you're all outta gas
I freak like cerebal pals I'll get inside your drawers
for alarm there is no cause I funk like lou rawls basco roscoe p. cotrane
I wish I had a membrane so that I could go insane
red light green light you know I always win this game
you can be my gingerbread and I'll be your candycane
rang dang diddlela dang a dang baby
rang dang diddlela dang a dang baby
rang dang diddlela dang a dang baby
you might say no but I hope you mean maybe
no chance in hell but I could tell you crave me
frisky from the whiskey and the thrills you gave me
taste great but less filling so thrilling
come unannounced like automatic billing
and you can't do nothing as I push your buttons
when I talk you're gonna listen like I'm e. f. hutton
like lionel richie's up all night long
jimmy pop don't do nobody wrong
stop flop flip and flop
panties drop now I'm on top
so wiggle it just a little bit
I won't kiss your ass to get a piece of it
you said you wanted to do it now you're coming around to it
I'm the one that sowed the seed but you're the one that grew it
take it blow by blow like reginald denny
I do it all the time how many?
many frauleins I'm coming again like jesus
and when I resurrect I'll be damned if I don't please ya
our jimmy pop that art in hell hear it
fill me with your holy spirit
rang dang diddlela dang a dang baby
rang dang diddlela dang a dang baby
rang dang diddlela dang a dang baby
you might say no but I hope you mean maybe
einie meanie miney moe
which of you girls will be my ho'
cross your fingers grit your teeth
cause the bloodhound gang makes holes in beef
we make holes in beef
we make holes in beef
we make holes in beef
we make holes in beef
so watch your back straight to the attack
I'll spin you around like your name was pat sajak
tag your ass out and no tag backs
you psycho nymphomaniac
rang dang diddlela dang a dang baby
rang dang diddlela dang a dang baby
rang dang diddlela dang a dang baby
you might say no but I hope you mean maybe
We gonna drop this next bomb for a money makin' playa
that ain't with us no mo.
Yeah, Notorious B.I.G.
Hell no, we gonna do this for a gangbanging thug
that never seen it comin'.
Yeah, Tupac Shakur.
Nah bitch, I'm talkin' ‘bout motherfuckin' Falco and shit.
What? Falco?
Rock me Amadeus
Rock me Amadeus
Rock me Amadeus
Rock me Amadeus
Tried to O.D. on the Cold-Eeze
'Golden Girls' got me 'Sweatin' To The Oldies'
Hanging out like Double Ds sip Long Island Iced Teas
Wrote to Mayor McCheese 'Send a Shamrock Shake please!'
Three O' Clock on the dot time to cruise for Eighth graders
Rather tape the Weather Channel so that I can watch it later
Reruns of Rerun so 'What's Happening?'
Dee's knocked up and Rog on crack again
Deep throat a whole Nutty Buddy
Make whoopie to a batch of Silly Putty
Make a Spam and Colgate sandwich and ate it
Go through 'National Geographic' and draw panties on the natives
So I like to dance naked in front of my pets
But my cat was inattentive so I sent him U.P.S.
Playin' spin the bottle with my mom
I watch 'Cops' with no pants on
Must've blown a fuse nothing's going on
Lamer than the Pope climb the walls like King Kong
Buggin' out like Tori Spelling's eyes
Deader than the parents on a 'Party of Five'
Luciano Pavoratti on a treadmill
Not going nowhere slim chance we will
Less hip than Bo Jackson bored like wood
Dick around like Frankie Goes To Hollywood
Relax don't do it when you wanna go to it
Relax don't do it when you wanna cum
Relax don't do it when you wanna go to it
Relax don't do it when you wanna cum
Nowhere to go I can't wake up late
Just sit around and wait for my Old Spice to activate
Stalemate jailbait in 'My So-Called Life' imprisonment
Amazing what a good breakfast pickles make isn't it?
I like to pretend I'm speed reading
Never lose the sight of the thrill of sneezing
Don't need a shower today just some Brut by Faberge
Smell the ass of my jeans clean they'll do another day
And I recycle I sniff my own farts
I dial the wrong number hope a conversation starts
I mean I might as well be listenin' to Journey
Givin' myself a mullet hook the Flowbee to the Kirby
Make a prank call pretendin' I'm a mime
Get stuck in traffic just to pass the time
Sent a letter in the mail in Braille to Johnny Quest
Send me back my Etch-A-Sketch
Must've blown a fuse nothing's going on
Lamer than the Pope climb the walls like King Kong
Buggin' out like Tori Spelling's eyes
Deader than the parents on a 'Party of Five'
Luciano Pavoratti on a treadmill
Not going nowhere slim chance we will
Less hip than Bo Jackson bored like wood
Dick around like Frankie Goes To Hollywood
Relax don't do it when you wanna go to it
Relax don't do it when you wanna cum
Relax don't do it when you wanna go to it
Relax don't do it when you wanna cum
I'm mighty tighty whitey and I'm smugglin' plums
When you wanna cum
I'm mighty tighty whitey and I'm smugglin' plums
When you wanna cum
I'm mighty tighty whitey and I'm smugglin' plums
When you wanna cum
I'm mighty tighty whitey and I'm smugglin' plums
When you wanna cum
Yo yo yo yo yo! What it is motherfuckers?
Aw shit, here comes Pac-Man.
Hey Pac-Man, what's up?
Me you bitches! I'm high on crack! Wanna freebase?
No Pac-Man drugs are bad!
Nope can't help you man.
Pussies. Whoa! Holy shit!
Must've blown a fuse nothing's going on
Lamer than the Pope climb the walls like King Kong
Buggin' out like Tori Spelling's eyes
Deader than the parents on a 'Party of Five'
Luciano Pavoratti on a treadmill
Not going nowhere slim chance we will
Less hip than Bo Jackson bored like wood
Dick around like Frankie Goes To Hollywood
Relax don't do it when you wanna go to it
Relax don't do it when you wanna cum
Relax don't do it when you wanna go to it
Relax don't do it when you wanna cum
Holy macaroni
Holy macaroni
Holy macaroni
Holy macaroni
Ashes to ashes and funks to funky
Daddy Long Legs is a mean ass honky
And Jimmy Pop ain't no heiny hobbit gaybe
Ain't no big meaty chunks in my thick brown graby
Cause I'm the Loch Ness the Loch Ness the Loch Ness monster
Jerry's kids are knockin' at my door, "Could you be a sponsor?"
tiny bubbles in my tub pull my finger Lawrence Welk
If you wanna look like Rocky Dennis better drink your milk
When I'm feeling oriental I gotta rub my chin
Gonna hold my water n like I'm Gunga Din
So have a taste of my bass cause the girlies got smiles
You're getting on my case like the Rockford Files
Crazy Eddie in the slammer cause he's giving it all away
John boy in the barn with a horse in the hay
No rhyme no reason no job no class
And we don't go near the ghetto cause they'd shoot our ass
Chorus:
Go go yeah yeah huh what?
I'm a legend in my spare time
(repeat)
If you ain't ever been to the suburbs
Don't ever come to the suburbs
ause you wouldn't understand the suburbs
Cause I' a huskin' a huskin' a huskin' your corn
I'm as deep as the plot to a gay porn
So uh-oh Spaghettios I forgot to hide away the body
I know that she's a hotty but damn that girl could party
So come to me momma it ain't no crime
I'm the skilled love doctor growlin' "What's your sign?"
I did the flamin' waffle with Ho Chi Min
Your girl's a dollar bill we don't know where she's been
J.F.K.'s head is a puzzle and your woman needs a muzzle
Barbara Eden in the bottle and now I'm gonna guzzle
You're too what? Shy shy huh what?
Hush hush yea? I knew why
Cause we're playing the Palladium you can't get on Star Search
Daddy Legs standing tall he can do the funky Lurch
And Jimmy Jimmy Pop is short for Jimmy Jimmy Popular
You know I know you know you're not the tough guy that you thought you
were
(Chorus)
Ha cha cha chatch
Come and lick my balls
Vive la my crotch
Cause your daddy thinks I'm lazy your momma thinks I'm crazy
But neither of them know that you are carrying my baby
And I'm the Amos I'm the Andy I'm the sticky Aunt Jemammy
I gave you mouth to mouth like Resuscitation Annie
It takes two of us to do this like Dean Martin Jerry Lewis
And your throat is swollen gloryholen' ya blew us
George Burns' pacemaker beats steady slow and low
That's why we got more hits then a dealer at a Dead show
(Chorus)
David look at yourself woops I forgot
You can’t see because your eye is not
All in proportion it faces the left side
Comin from the doctor sayin you need a glass eye
Oh wait dude don’t beat me up
Just because I said you don’t have any nuts
And because I said your dog licks your puss
Are you afraid to hit me don’t be a wuss
Come at me and I’ll hit you in your other eye dawg
You wont be able to see so you’ll be trippin over logs
You’ll go to the special class like the other blind dude
I’ll leave you walkin with a stick all around school
Nobody likes you can’t you see that
You’re just like Malachi but don’t smell as bad
And your hair’s not as long
But we all know you both fuck your mom
This rhyme is over and it’s short too
Cause I aint wastin breath on a fuckin gay dude
Jackass
I'm a pimped out Jedi Knight
Obi-Wan meets Dolemite
Ben Kenobi went and got himself a pompadour
These aren't the whores you're looking for
Jackass
If the Crocodile Hunter smoked weed
Steve Irwin burnin' herb in his jeep
Thinks the kangaroos are laughin' at his haircut
Used a bowl for that too
But if you knew me like I know myself
You'd hate me like I hate myself
'Cause I'm a jackass
Got no rabbit in this hat
'Cause I'm pullin' it out my ass
Ain't Sigfried or Roy but I could be
Makin' magic with the pussy
Jackass
Like that dude in Tienanmen Square
With a six pack and a folding chair
Got bombed at the parade and ended up
Playin' Chicken with the tanks
But if you knew me like I know myself
You'd hate me like I hate myself
'Cause I'm a jackass
They could out the lesbian Spice Girl
They could try to run game on the O.D.B.
They could kick every douche bag off the 'Real World'
But they won't get rid of me
If I knew you like you know yourself
I'd hate you like you hate yourself
Hate yourself, hate yourself, hate yourself
Hate yourself, hate yourself, hate yourself
The following Public Service Announcement is
brought you by an intoxicated homeless man.
Try throwin' your socks in the trash,
before they got the holes in the feet
Sponsered by Bloodhound Gang Hate Local Number 138
Alright now boys and girls we've got another story for you now!
We want to introduce to you another friend of the Bible!
Hell yeah
Hell yeah
Hell yeah
Hell yeah
If I were God there would be no explicit sex on T.V.
Like little Opie eating pie when he made it with Aunt Bea
If I were God thou shall not worship false Billy Idols
And thou shall add the Book Of Flavor Flav to the Bible
Thou shall make fun of Hindus thou shall not make a "Speed 2"
If I were God that's what I'd do Heavens no
Hell yeah
Hell yeah
Hell yeah
Hell yeah
If I were God I'd get a bunch of slaves to do everything
Norwegian lesbians that feed me grapes and know how to sing
If I were God thou shall not wear tube socks with Flip-Flops
Thou shall sit and thou shall spin thou shall even wife swap
Thou shall resist the Olsen Twins, thou shall not cut "Footloose"
If I were God that's what I'd do, Heavens no
Hell yeah
Hell yeah
Hell yeah
Hell yeah
And when they nail my pimpled ass to the cross
I'll tell them I found Jesus that should throw them off
He goes by the name Jesus and steals hubcaps from cars
Oh Jesus can I borrow your crowbar?
To pry these God damn nails out they're beginning to hurt
Crucified and all I got was this lousy T-shirt
"I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!" I'll sing as I'm flogged
Yeah that's what I would do if I were God
So vote for me for Savior and you'll go to Heaven
Your lame duck Lord is like Kevin Spacey in "Seven"
With creepy threats of H-E-Double-Hockey-Stick
You just can't teach an old God new tricks
But would I be a good Messiah with my low self-esteem?
If I don't believe in myself would that be blasphemy?
Just sport some crummy "holier than thou" facade
3x The roof the roof the roof is on fire
We donÄt need no water let the motherfucker burn
burn motherfucker burn
Hello my name is jimmy pop and i'm a dumb white guy
i'm not old or new but middle school fifth grade like junior high
i don't know mofo if y'all peeps be buggin' given props to my ho cause she fly
but i can take the heat cause i'm the ohter white meat known as 'kid funky fried'
Yea i'm hung like the planet pluto hard to see with the naked eye
but if i crashed into uranus i would stick it where the sun don't shine
cause i'm kind of like han solo always stroking my own wookie
i'm the root of all that's evil yea but you can call me cookie
ref.
yo,yo,
this hard-core ghetto gangster image take a lot of practice
i'm not black like barry white no i am white like frank black is
so if man is five and the devil is six than that must make me seven
-this honkey's gone to heaven
but if i go to hell well then i hope (that) i burn well
i'll spend my days with j.f.k., marvin gaye, martha raye, and lawrence welk
and kurt cobain, kojak, mark twain and jimi hendrix's poltergeist
and webster yea emmanuel lewis cause he's the anti christ
ref.
everybody here we go - ohh ohh
c'mon party people -ohh ohh
throw your hand in the air -ohh ohh
c'mon party people - ohh ohh
wave em' like you don't care - ohh ohh
c'mon party people -ohh ohh
everybody say ho -ohh ohh
c'mon party people -ohh ohh
I know you're gonna play me when you get wind
I heard you're full of shit so I've been duped again
But if you cover your ass with the same old song
You might as well be farting farting with a Walkman on
I know you're gonna play me when you get wind
I heard you're full of shit so I've been duped again
But if you cover your ass with the same old song
You might as well be farting farting with a Walkman on
I know you're gonna play me when you get wind
I heard you're full of shit so I've been duped again
But if you cover your ass with the same old song
You might as well be farting farting with a Walkman on
Give me a fuckin' break
Farting with a Walkman on
Farting with a Walkman on
Farting with a Walkman on
Ahoy, sissy! Whatcha got in your mouth sissy?
....
I'm in the bathroom, so this messages is probably going to smell like shit.
(Farting and shit sounds)
Coincide Subdivide, technical wars
Formulate Calculate industries whores
Little faults in the system
Always reducing men to their ranks in a time of no choosing
Balance is gone assiduity
Resplendent drone deranged machine
See what I mean
Monochrome skies paint future scenes of a corporate scheme
Graft display turn away the poor and the weak
Always there they don't care bow down at their feet
Sinews of war and all the redemption go up in smoke
There's been no reflection grinding their gears a prosaic aim
So when you look what do you see vulgarity
Monochrome skies paint future scenes of a corporate scheme
Hidden orbs focus in on me impart neuroticy
To a liquid mind all they find is a piece of time
Confounding what's left of me
Modern medicine a form of strategy
Designed to ensure our purity
Endeavor for immortality
Zeros and ones defining me
Dollar signs are everywhere
Incorporated stare a lighthouse for the blind
Meiropol is standing by to quench the truthful lie
Computer serving mind
Silent loudness now speaks to me imprinted echoes ring endlessly
Emotion stripped down to the core
An impulse nothing more inside our empty selves
Sex is sterile now alone now anyone can own a piece of someone else
Predictability is comforting
Vapid gray this future seen
Zeros and ones are all that we are
Sins of the thinking machine have brought us this far
Human error replaced by efficiency
A permanent program raping mortality
When man is reduced to a number sums and equations defined
Replaced by zeros and ones he'll be left behind
Some of them are hairy
Some of them are bald
Some are kinda scary
And this is what they're called
Vagina!
Vagi-hoo-a!
They call that thing
Vagina
Some belong to virgins
They're really tight and strong
But big or small, I love 'em all
That's why I sing my song
Vagina!
Vagi-hoo-a!
They call that thing
Vagina
Vagina
Some of them are smelly
Like clams and fish and such
Some smell like a summer's eve
Cause they've been duesched too much
Vagina!
Vagi-hoo-a!
They call that thing
Vagina
Vagina!
Vagi-hoo-a!
They call that thing
Vagina
Nothin could be finer
Than to be in a vagina
In the morning
We gonna drop this next bomb for a money makin' playa
that ain't with us no mo.
Yeah, Notorious B.I.G.
Hell no, we gonna do this for a gangbanging thug
that never seen it comin'.
Yeah, Tupac Shakur.
Nah bitch, I'm talkin' ‘bout motherfuckin' Falco and shit.
What? Falco?
Rock me Amadeus
Rock me Amadeus
Rock me Amadeus
Rock me Amadeus
Tried to O.D. on the Cold-Eeze
'Golden Girls' got me 'Sweatin' To The Oldies'
Hanging out like Double Ds sip Long Island Iced Teas
Wrote to Mayor McCheese 'Send a Shamrock Shake please!'
Three O' Clock on the dot time to cruise for Eighth graders
Rather tape the Weather Channel so that I can watch it later
Reruns of Rerun so 'What's Happening?'
Dee's knocked up and Rog on crack again
Deep throat a whole Nutty Buddy
Make whoopie to a batch of Silly Putty
Make a Spam and Colgate sandwich and ate it
Go through 'National Geographic' and draw panties on the natives
So I like to dance naked in front of my pets
But my cat was inattentive so I sent him U.P.S.
Playin' spin the bottle with my mom
I watch 'Cops' with no pants on
Must've blown a fuse nothing's going on
Lamer than the Pope climb the walls like King Kong
Buggin' out like Tori Spelling's eyes
Deader than the parents on a 'Party of Five'
Luciano Pavoratti on a treadmill
Not going nowhere slim chance we will
Less hip than Bo Jackson bored like wood
Dick around like Frankie Goes To Hollywood
Relax don't do it when you wanna go to it
Relax don't do it when you wanna cum
Relax don't do it when you wanna go to it
Relax don't do it when you wanna cum
Nowhere to go I can't wake up late
Just sit around and wait for my Old Spice to activate
Stalemate jailbait in 'My So-Called Life' imprisonment
Amazing what a good breakfast pickles make isn't it?
I like to pretend I'm speed reading
Never lose the sight of the thrill of sneezing
Don't need a shower today just some Brut by Faberge
Smell the ass of my jeans clean they'll do another day
And I recycle I sniff my own farts
I dial the wrong number hope a conversation starts
I mean I might as well be listenin' to Journey
Givin' myself a mullet hook the Flowbee to the Kirby
Make a prank call pretendin' I'm a mime
Get stuck in traffic just to pass the time
Sent a letter in the mail in Braille to Johnny Quest
Send me back my Etch-A-Sketch
Must've blown a fuse nothing's going on
Lamer than the Pope climb the walls like King Kong
Buggin' out like Tori Spelling's eyes
Deader than the parents on a 'Party of Five'
Luciano Pavoratti on a treadmill
Not going nowhere slim chance we will
Less hip than Bo Jackson bored like wood
Dick around like Frankie Goes To Hollywood
Relax don't do it when you wanna go to it
Relax don't do it when you wanna cum
Relax don't do it when you wanna go to it
Relax don't do it when you wanna cum
I'm mighty tighty whitey and I'm smugglin' plums
When you wanna cum
I'm mighty tighty whitey and I'm smugglin' plums
When you wanna cum
I'm mighty tighty whitey and I'm smugglin' plums
When you wanna cum
I'm mighty tighty whitey and I'm smugglin' plums
When you wanna cum
Yo yo yo yo yo! What it is motherfuckers?
Aw shit, here comes Pac-Man.
Hey Pac-Man, what's up?
Me you bitches! I'm high on crack! Wanna freebase?
No Pac-Man drugs are bad!
Nope can't help you man.
Pussies. Whoa! Holy shit!
Must've blown a fuse nothing's going on
Lamer than the Pope climb the walls like King Kong
Buggin' out like Tori Spelling's eyes
Deader than the parents on a 'Party of Five'
Luciano Pavoratti on a treadmill
Not going nowhere slim chance we will
Less hip than Bo Jackson bored like wood
Dick around like Frankie Goes To Hollywood
Relax don't do it when you wanna go to it
Relax don't do it when you wanna cum
Relax don't do it when you wanna go to it
Relax don't do it when you wanna cum
Holy macaroni
Holy macaroni
Holy macaroni
Holy macaroni
Coughing....
....
We gonna drop this next bomb for a money makin' playa that ain't with us no mo.
Yeah, Notorious B.I.G.
Hell no, we gonna do this for a gangbanging thug that never seen it comin'.
Yeah, Tupac Shakur.
Nah bitch, I'm talkin' 'bout motherfuckin' Falco and shit.
What? Falco?.
Rock me Amadeus,
Rock me Amadeus,
Rock me Amadeus,
Rock me Amadeus.
Tried to O.D. on the Cold-Eeze,
"Golden Girls" got me "Sweatin' To The Oldies",
Hanging out like Double Ds sip Long Island Iced Teas,
Wrote to Mayor McCheese "Send a Shamrock Shake please!",
Three O' Clock on the dot time to cruise for Eighth graders,
Rather tape the Weather Channel so that I can watch it later,
Reruns of Rerun so What's Happening?,
Dee's knocked up and Rog on crack again,
Deep throat a whole Nutty Buddy,
Make whoopie to a batch of Silly Putty,
Make a Spam and Colgate sandwich and ate it,
Go through "National Geographic" and draw panties on the natives,
So I like to dance naked in front of my pets,
But my cat was inattentive so I sent him U.P.S.,
Playin' spin the bottle with my mom,
I watch "Cops" with no pants on.
Must've blown a fuse nothing's going on,
Lamer than the Pope climb the walls like King Kong,
Buggin' out like Tori Spelling's eyes,
Deader than the parents on a Party of Five,
Luciano Pavarotti on a treadmill,
Not going nowhere slim chance we will,
Less hip than Bo Jackson bored like wood,
Dick around like Frankie Goes To Hollywood.
Relax don't do it when you wanna go to it,
Relax don't do it when you wanna cum,
Relax don't do it when you wanna go to it,
Relax don't do it when you wanna cum.
Nowhere to go I can't wake up late,
Just sit around and wait for my Old Spice to activate,
Stalemate jailbait in "My So-Called Life" imprisonment,
Amazing what a good breakfast pickles make isn't it?,
I like to pretend I'm speed reading,
Never lose the sight of the thrill of sneezing,
Don't need a shower today just some Brut by Faberge,
Smell the ass of my jeans clean they'll do another day,
And I recycle I sniff my own farts,
I dial the wrong number hope a conversation starts,
I mean I might as well be listenin' to Journey,
Givin' myself a mullet hook the Flowbee to the Kirby,
Make a prank call pretendin' I'm a mime,
Get stuck in traffic just to pass the time,
Sent a letter in the mail in Braille to Johnny Quest,
Send me back my Etch-A-Sketch.
Must've blown a fuse nothing's going on,
Lamer than the Pope climb the walls like King Kong,
Buggin' out like Tori Spelling's eyes,
Deader than the parents on a Party of Five,
Luciano Pavarotti on a treadmill,
Not going nowhere slim chance we will,
Less hip than Bo Jackson, bored like wood,
Dick around like Frankie Goes To Hollywood.
Relax don't do it when you wanna go to it,
Relax don't do it when you wanna cum,
Relax don't do it when you wanna go to it,
Relax don't do it when you wanna cum.
I'm mighty tighty whitey and I'm smugglin' plums,
When you wanna cum,
I'm mighty tighty whitey and I'm smugglin' plums,
When you wanna cum,
I'm mighty tighty whitey and I'm smugglin' plums,
When you wanna cum,
I'm mighty tighty whitey and I'm smugglin' plums,
When you wanna cum.
Yo yo yo yo yo! What it is motherfuckers?
Aw shit, here comes Pac-Man.
Hey Pac-Man, what's up?
Me you bitches! I'm high on crack! Wanna freebase?
No Pac-Man drugs are bad!
Nope can't help you man.
Pussies. Whoa! Holy shit!
Must've blown a fuse nothing's going on,
Lamer than the Pope climb the walls like King Kong,
Buggin' out like Tori Spelling's eyes,
Deader than the parents on a Party of Five,
Luciano Pavarotti on a treadmill,
Not going nowhere slim chance we will,
Less hip than Bo Jackson bored like wood,
Dick around like Frankie Goes To Hollywood.
Relax don't do it when you wanna go to it,
Relax don't do it when you wanna cum,
Relax don't do it when you wanna go to it,
Relax don't do it when you wanna cum,
Holy macaroni,
Holy macaroni,
Holy macaroni,
I was lonelier than Kunta Kinte at a Merle Haggard concert
That night I strolled on into Uncle Limpy's Hump Palace lookin' for love.
It had been a while.
In fact, three hundred and sixty-five had come and went
since that midnight run haulin' hog to Shakey Town on I-10.
I had picked up this hitchhiker that was sweatin' gallons
through a pair of Daisy Duke cut-offs and one of those Fruit Of The Loom tank-tops.
Well, that night I lost myself to ruby red lips,
milky white skin and baby blue eyes.
Name was Russell.
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well, faster than you can say, "shallow grave",
this pretty little thing come up to me and starts kneadin' my balls
like hard-boiled eggs in a tube sock.
Said her name was Bambi and I said, "Well that's a coincidence darlin',
'cause I was just thinkin' about skinnin' you like a deer."
Well she smiled, had about as much teeth as a Jack-O-Lantern,
and I went on to tell her how I would wear her face like a mask
as I do my little kooky dance.
And then she told me to shush.
I guess she could sense my desperation.
'Course, it's hard to hide a hard-on when you're dressed like Minnie Pearl.
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
So, Bambi's goin' on about how she can make all my fantasies come true.
So I says, "Even this one I have where Jesus Christ
is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole
with a lawn dart as Garth Brooks gives birth to something
resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum"
Well, ten beers, twenty minutes and thirty dollars later
I'm parkin' the beef bus in tuna town if you know what I mean.
Got to nail her back at her trailer.
Heh. That rhymes.
I have to admit it was even more of a turn-on
when I found out she was doin' me to buy baby formula.
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Day or so had passed when I popped the clutch,
gave the tranny a spin and slid on into
The Stinky Pinky Gulp N' Guzzle Big Rig Snooze-A-Stop.
There I was browsin' through the latest issue of "Throb",
when I saw Bambi starin' at me from the back of a milk carton.
Well, my heart just dropped.
So, I decided to do what any good Christian would.
You can not imagine how difficult it is to hold a half gallon of moo juice
and polish the one-eyed gopher when your doin' seventy-five
in an eighteen-wheeler.
I never thought missing children could be so sexy.
Did I say that out loud
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yummy down on yummy down on this down on
Yummy down on yummy down on this down on
Yummy down on yummy down on this down on
Yummy down on yummy down on this down on
Ouch it won't reach my mouth
If I could do it myself I'd probably never leave the house
But I can't so here's where you come in
Giving it "Diff'rent Strokes" just like Arnold Drummond
Hummin' hmm hmm good like Campbell's
And you'll handle the sack like the quarterback Randall
Cunningham like Joanie loves Chachi
They call him Ralph Mouth 'cause he's down on Potsie
Rocky chasing the chicken
Watch the plot thicken with the cock when your lickin'
Me like Apollo your Creed my Mission
You go down for the count I countdown ignition
Blast off you're a rocket scientist
A genius what I mean is you suck at this
So escargot 'cause my snail needs Frenchin'
You must be five stars cause my staff's at full attention
Yummy down on this down on this down on this
Yummy down on this down on this down on this
Yummy down on this down on this down on this
Yummy down on this down on this down on this
Yummy down on yummy down on this down on
Yummy down on yummy down on this down on
Yummy down on yummy down on this down on
Yummy down on yummy down on this down on
Dinner for one I know you got your reservations
Starvation like a Third World Nation
So do it for the children and I'll make a donation
My fly's in your eyes let me rise to the occasion
In my Underoos I tend to be brief
So when you're sinking your teeth deep into my beef
You can fondle but it's kind of like McDonald's realize it's
Just a Happy Meal so you can't Super Size it
Told to hold the pickle then you went and blew it
Gherkin off and the Special Sauce comes included
But you knew it did so concentrate like Tropicana
To eat a Chiquita you need to grow the banana
So can ya Bob like Dylan on my Peter like Criss
'Til it's Chubby like Checker c'mon baby do the twist
It's all in the wrist like table tennis
So beat me like Betty Crocker cake mix
Yummy down on this down on this down on this
Yummy down on this down on this down on this
Yummy down on this down on this down on this
Yummy down on this down on this down on this
Suck it suck it suck it suck it suck it suck it
Suck it suck it suck it suck it suck it suck it
Suck it suck it suck it suck it suck it suck it
Suck it suck it suck it suck it suck it suck it
If you were a Hindu I could aim for the dot
Yummy down on this
Yummy down on this
Yummy down on this throbbing pole of hot man chicken.
{Yea, well I sing like an amputee though
Why?
'Cause can't hold a note, can't carry a tune
Ha, ha, ha}
Knock, knock Mr. Rogers, it's Mr. Mc' Feelie
I've brought you a letter, speedy delivery
Well Mr. Mc' Feelie, if there's postage due
You can go fuck yourself, like Captain Kangaroo
I can go to land of make believe and I can pretend
But in the end I still have no friends
Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do
Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do
Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do
Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do
Mr. Rogers, I like your cardigan sweater
Mr. Mc' Feelie shut up and give me my letter
I don't want to talk to you, don't you understand?
Why are you inside my house, you're just my fuckin' mailman?
I can go to land of make believe and I can pretend
But in the end I still have no friends
Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do
Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do
Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do
Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do
Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do
Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do
Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do
Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do
You can go to land of make believe and you can pretend
But in the end you still have no friends
You can go to land of make believe and you can pretend
But in the end you still have no friends
Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do
Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do
Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do
Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do
You are my best friend too
I share the same views and hardly ever argue
Eat spam from the can, watch late night C-Span
And rock out to old school Duran Duran
Your best friend is you, I'm my best friend too
I share the same views and hardly ever argue
Eat spam from the can watch late night C-Span
And rock out to old school Duran Duran
Your best friend is you, I'm my best friend too
I share the same views and hardly ever argue
Eat spam from the can watch late night C-Span
And rock out to old school Duran Duran
Your best friend is you, I'm my best friend too
I share the same views and hardly ever argue
Eat spam from the can watch late night C-Span
And rock out to old school Duran Duran
Your best friend is you, I'm my best friend too
I share the same views and hardly ever argue
Eat spam from the can watch late night C-Span
Times New Roman you know the type
Calling me Public Enemy, but don't believe the hype
Tough guy like the one in "Star 80" wanna bait me
Hook line sinker now your lady wanna date me
Gave your girl a little wink so you make a big stink
Shoulder's got a chip so you flip like a Tiddlywink
Know what I think? I think you might be Darwin's missing link
Get all bent out of shape when the heat is on just like a Shrinky Dink
Bet I can take a hint better than I can take a hit
Completely incompatible though I'm a pussy and you're a dick
How can you hold a grudge when you can't even hold a job?
Should have known butter but you're not corn on the cob
I choose to use a song for a weapon not a sword struck a chord
If I wanted to see stars I'll watch the "Academy Awards"
That's why I ran like a Flock Of Seagulls why make-up like Mary Kay?
You must've given up on hair plugs 'cause now you're going toupee
All in all you're just another dick with no balls
All in all you're just another dick with no balls
Mama said talk this out and resolve
Don't wanna be involved so gimme a call when you evolve
Doggy paddle to the shallow end of the gene pool
Half with it half wit half finished high school
Give you a piece of my mind but I know you want it splattered
Heard you like your women like you like your shrimp you like 'em battered
Wife beater perfectly fitting apparel
Where's your brother Daryl? Where's your other brother Daryl?
Givin' me that Macho Man Randy Savage stare
Wanna snap into a Slim Jim break my limbs but do I care?
No sorry I'm a lover not a fighter commit your crime
I'll be glad to do your girlfriend, I'll be glad that you do time
Here's the deal I cop a feel you cop a plea but get the maximum
Now we both got records but the difference is mine's platinum
Definitely showed this yellow bellied wimp limp in your cell now though alone
When you're choking your chicken your chick will be choking on this chicken's bone
All in all you're just another dick with no balls
All in all you're just another dick with no balls
Right turn Clyde
Right turn Clyde
Right turn Clyde
A is for "Apple",
B is for "Balloons",
C is for "Crayons",
D is for "Drum",
Like my scrotum here it is in a nutshell,
One thousand nine hundred and seventy-two,
That's the year I got here when my dear mother's water blew,
Not really realizing the prize that's been begot to her,
The bona fide lo-fi high-octane philosopher,
Genius with a penis the few the proud the me,
I liked me so much I had to buy the company,
Soul for sale sold to Satan for a hell of a lotta luck,
I'm hard to come by like a straight guy working at Starbucks,
Thank the thinkers that think they thunk the thoughts that theorized,
Idolized or despised bet I'm gettin' recognized,
Mount Rushmore it? No ignore it can't rock with no big head,
Half of the people want me half of the people want me dead,
I am the Angel of Def with my rhymes against humanity,
Teeter-tottering between brilliance and insanity,
The one part the Führer the one part the Pope,
It's the inevitable return baby of the Great White Dope,
Conclusions you drew proportions you blew,
Lost son of Iggy, False Bigger nose than Ziggy, True,
Yes my name is Jimmy Pop no my pop's name is Dick,
Don't admit to kick it slick you thick derelict critic,
Put down for missed notes put up with misquotes,
Don't want the whole story? Should have bought the Cliff Notes,
Like Fingerpainting 101 give me no credit for having class,
One thumb on the pulse of the nation one thumb in your girlfriend's ass,
Written on written off scoff callin' me a joke,
I don't think that I'm a sell-out but I do "Enjoy Coke!",
I struck gold but never took it for granite that's how I planned it so can it,
Around the planet fans demand it and you'll never understand it,
When I die no lie plan on mass pandemonium,
They may display my brain in a pickle jar at the Smithsonian,
The one part the Fuehrer the one part the Pope,
It's the inevitable return baby of the Great White Dope,
One part the Fuehrer one part the Pope,
The inevitable return of the Great White Dope,
One part the Fuehrer one part the Pope,
The inevitable return of the Great White Dope,
One part the Fuehrer one part the Pope,
The inevitable return of the Great White Dope,
One part the Fuehrer one part the Pope,
The inevitable return of the Great White Dope,
Great White Dope,
Great White Dope,
Great White Dope,
Ha ha, well now, we call this the act of matingBut there are several other very important differencesBetween human beings and animals that you should know aboutI'd appreciate your input
Sweat baby, sweat babySex is a Texas drought meAnd you do the kind of stuffThat only Prince would sing about
So put your hands down my pantsAnd I'll bet you'll feel nutsYes, I'm Siskel, yes I'm EbertAnd you're getting two thumbs up
You've had enough of two hand touchYou want it rough, you're out of boundsI want to you smothered, want you coveredLike my waffle house, hash, browns
Comin' quicker than Fed ExNever reaching apex like Coca Cola stockYou are inclined to make me rise an hour earlyJust like daylight savings time
You and me baby, ain’t nothin’ but mammalsSo let’s do it like they do on the Discovery ChannelYou and me baby, ain’t nothin’ but mammalsSo let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Love, the kind you clean up with a mop and bucketLike the lost catacombs of EgyptOnly God knows where we stuck itHieroglyphics
Let me be specificI wanna be down in your south seasBut I got this notion that the motion of your oceanMeans small craft advisory
So if I capsize on your thighs, high tideB 5, you sunk my battleshipPlease turn me onI’m Mr.Cofee with an automatic drip
So show me yours, I’ll show you mineTool time, you’ll love it just like LyleAnd then we’ll do it doggy styleSo we can both watch X-files
You and me baby, ain’t nothin’ but mammalsSo let’s do it like they do on the Discovery ChannelYou and me baby, ain’t nothin’ but mammalsSo let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
You and me baby, ain’t nothin’ but mammalsSo let’s do it like they do on the Discovery ChannelYou and me baby, ain’t nothin’ but mammalsSo let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Did you ever read Voltaire's "Candide"?
He says live life at Benny Hill freak out speed
Not a quote of what he wrote but a paraphrase
Make it up as you go Keyser Soze
Highlights yes but don't underline 'em
Just live for N.O.W. like Gloria Steinem
Life is like Marion Barry
It's not all that it's cracked up to be
Like Fred Sanford when the big one comes
Find the meaning of life is there is none
It's twenty-four hours when you call it a day
Be Frank and say "I Did It My Way"
Don't give a flying nun no don't give a Gidget
Just have more fun than a well-oiled midget
If life were picture perfect you could frame it
But the world is a diaper so let someone else change it
Life is an aimless drive that ya take alone
Might as well enjoy the ride, take the long way home
May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
All born equal unless you're Canadian
Then halfway through decay like Uranium
You define what's death-defying
Get the most out of life or at the least die trying
Are you Evil Knievel jumping a train?
Or running with scissors like Frasier Crane?
Have really good times doing really bad things
'Cause the show ain't over 'til the fat lady sings
Like Elton John with his candle in the wind
It's hard to blow out a flame as big as him
But we've all got to Wang Chung with the Grim Reaper
Whether you're Einstein whether you're Beaker
Death is certain so it's definitely worth flirtin'
Don't expect a bright light no just curtains
Life is like a penis most people don't know it
But most people suck so they usually blow it
Life is an aimless drive that ya take alone
Might as well enjoy the ride take the long way home
Life is an aimless drive that ya take alone
Might as well enjoy the ride take the long way home
That's enough!
I'm Jimmy Pop here in a jiffy heat me up and add oil
I'm like a zit a wart a corn a cyst a festering boil
I get under your skin and I sebaceously form
I'm as deep as the plot to an amateur gay porn
Keep ya hungry for more like Bangladesh
Then I'll borg di borg do borg ya like the Swedish Chef
Cause I'm one of a kind and kind of hard to find
Kind of like an Injun without his fire water wine
I'm like Schneider one day at a time
I'm feeling like Bob Vila nailing up your behind
To my wall like Daniel-son does
I'm waxing on I'm waxing off I'm waxing just because
I get wired like a Western Union and I got to be me
And I got more balls than the daily lottery
Like hemorrhoidal itch yo you can't ignore me
Cause I'm more tongue and cheek than a lesbo orgy
And I don't give a damn if you don't like me
Cause' I don't like you cause you're not like me
And I don't give a damn if you don't like me
Cause' I don't like you cause you're not like me
And I don't give a damn if you don't like me
Cause' I don't like you cause you're not like me
Second verse is different from the first
I'm Jimmy Pop I am
Jimmity Jimmity Pop I am I am
See my name's not Hoover and I don't give a damn
And I got a different angle like a parellelogram
And you'll be all ears like a field of corn
I'll make you Dizzy like Gillespie as I toot my own horn
Like a No. 2 pencil I always got a point
You'll want to share it with friends like a poorly rolled joint
I'm Jimmy Pop y'all I'm Jimmy Pop y'all I'm an Alka Seltzer that's right you're a seagull
As I continue to expand your head is gonna burst
Leave a bad taste in your mouth like moldy Liverwurst
Like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre I'll get in your face
But then I'll brush you off like Aqua-Fresh toothpaste
Cause I'm letting off steam like a Chinese Laundromat
But I'm not a roll of Charmin so don't give me no crap
And I don't give a damn if you don't like me
Cause' I don't like you cause you're not like me
And I don't give a damn if you don't like me
Cause' I don't like you cause you're not like me
And I don't give a damn if you don't like me
Cause' I don't like you cause you're not like me
I hate a lot of whites and I hate a lot of blacks
I hate poopin' in public places but we all hate that
I hate lesbian feminists because they're all so damn ugly
I hate Spin Magazine cause they never ever plug me
I hate Regis and I hate Kathie Lee
I hate every single movie by that midget Spike Lee
I hate people that think I care what they think
I hate people that think their ass don't stink
I hate Jon Bon Jovi but I hate his music more
I hate killing people because I hate to keep score
I hate you but you hate yourself too
I hate to be honest but I'd hate to be you
And I don't give a damn if you don't like me
Cause' I don't like you cause you're not like me
And I don't give a damn if you don't like me
Cause' I don't like you cause you're not like me
And I don't give a damn if you don't like me
{The Bloodhound Gang record's called 'One Fierce Beer Coaster'
And on the front of the record there's a picture of a beer coaster
So the record looks like a beer coaster
Ho hoo hoo hoo}
{That's some funny fuckin' shit mother fucker
That shit's wack, that shit's funny
That shit's funny and wack
So Set Your Phasers On Kill If Ya Will So Catch The Feeling
Got Your Head A Pumping A Back And Forth Until It Hits The Ceiling
Now I'm Wheeling Dealing Stealing Johnny's Apple Seeds
Slapped You With A Baseball Bat Upside The Head Until It Bleeds
Showing No Mercy Step Like Solomon Grundy
Hit Ya With A Table Leg Like I Was Ted Bundy
I Bludgeoned You You're Bloodied I Think It's Kinda Of Funny
First I'll Take Your Money And Then I'll Swipe Your Honey
Dip Slip To The A.M. What Is That You're Saying?
You Think You Start Praying It's Not A Game You're Playing
Pump One Pump Two Listen To The Shotgun Blast
I'll Blast That Sorry Ass When You're All Outta Gas
I Freak Like Cerebal Pals I'll Get Inside Your Drawers
For Alarm There Is No Cause I Funk Like Lou Rawl
Basco Roscoe P. Cotrane
I Wish I Had A Membrane So That I Could Go Insane
Red Light Green Light You Know I Always Win This Game
You Can Be My Gingerbread And I'll Be Your Candycane
Rang Dang Diddlela Dang A Dang Baby
Rang Dang Diddlela Dang A Dang Baby
Rang Dang Diddlela Dang A Dang Baby
You Might Say No But I Hope You Mean Maybe
No Chance In Hell But I Could Tell You Crave Me
Frisky From The Whiskey And The Thrills You Gave Me
Taste Great But Less Filling So Thrilling
Come Unannounced Like Automatic Billing
And You Can't Do Nothing As I Push Your Buttons
When I Talk You're Gonna Listen Like I'm E.F. Hutton
Like Lionel Richie's Up All Night Long
Jimmy Pop Don't Do Nobody Wrong
Stop Flop Flip And Flop
Panties Drop Now I'm On Top
So Wiggle It Just A Little Bit
I Won't Kiss Your Ass To Get A Piece Of It
You Said You Wanted To Do It Now You're Coming Around To It
I'm The One That Sowed The Seed But You're The One That Grew It
Take It Blow By Blow Like Reginald Denny
I Do It All The Time How Many?
Many Frauleins I'm Coming Again Like Jesus
And When I Resurrect I'll Be Damned If I Don't Please Ya
Our Jimmy Pop That Art In Hell Hear It
Fill Me With Your Holy Spirit
Rang Dang Diddlela Dang A Dang Baby
Rang Dang Diddlela Dang A Dang Baby
Rang Dang Diddlela Dang A Dang Baby
You Might Say No But I Hope You Mean Maybe
Einie Meanie Miney Moe
Which Of You Girls Will Be My Ho'
Cross Your Fingers Grit Your Teeth
Cause The Bloodhound Gang Makes Holes In Beef
We Make Holes In Beef
We Make Holes In Beef
We Make Holes In Beef
We Make Holes In Beef
So Watch Your Back Straight To The Attack
I'll Spin You Around Like Your Name Was Pat Sajak
Tag Your Ass Out And No Tag Backs
You Psycho Nymphomaniac
Rang Dang Diddlela Dang A Dang Baby
Rang Dang Diddlela Dang A Dang Baby
Rang Dang Diddlela Dang A Dang Baby
Jimmy Pop's Not Pooper Not A Pauper But A Popper
And I Got More Pop Than Orville Redenbacher
I Gots More Gravy Than The Whole Gravy Train
When I'm Kooky Going Loopy Like A Man Insane
I Won't Be Around When The World Ends
So The Only Thing That I Recycle Is Your Girlfriend
Aww Back To The Side I Jump Up I Swing
When I'm Using Knockem' Sockem' Ya Know I'm Playing It To Win
The Nina The Pinta The Santa Maria
See You Later Salamander Cause I Wouldn't Want To Be Ya
I'm A Chip I'm An Pringle Cause You Know I Gots The Flavor
Pop Me Up In Your Mouth Like I Was A Life Saver
I Ain't Got No Soul But I Got More Than Don Henley
I'm Whiter Than Casper But I'm Not That Friendly
Marco Polo You Tried To Fly Solo
Make Your Thoughts Vocal I'll Put Ya In A Choke Hold
One Way Or Another I'm Gonna Find Ya
I'm Gonna Getcha Getcha Getcha Getcha
One Way Or Another I'm Gonna Find Ya I'm Gonna Getcha I'll Getcha
I'm A Gangster No I'm A Gangster Bitch
Your Momma Gave Me Head Yo Ur Girlie Gave Me The Itch
Scratch It Back The Bass Beats Fast Listen To The Shotgun Blast
In The Oven You'll Get Burned Or In The Tank That You'll Get Gassed
Fake-O Like Bacos Never Mistake Though
Showing Up Painted Up Fresh From Macco
Coming In On Stereo Rounder Than A Cheerio
Quick To Fill Your Fix And I'm Dizzier Than A Merry-Go
Rock This Obnoxious I'm Truly Not Nice
Cause I'm Blood Sucking Evil Like Muppets On Ice
Arriba Arriba I'm The Under Achiever
Gonna Leave It To Beaver I'm The Daydream Believer
I'm Like Mothra Man With My Big Wingspan
And Your The Mother Fucking Jap That Killed My Offspring Chan
I'm A Menace To Society Gonna Fill The Prophecy
First I'll Drink Your Genesee And Then I'll Take Your Liberty
One Way Or Another I'm Gonna Find Ya
I'm Gonna Getcha Getcha Getcha Getcha
One Way Or Another I'm Gonna Find Ya I'm Gonna Getcha I'll Getcha
I'm A Tarantula In Your Chiquita
And When You're Peeling Back The Skin I'm Gonna See Ya
I'm Gonna Bite Ya I'm Gonna Bite Ya
I'm Jimmy Pop I'll Tell You Straight Up I Don't Like You
Cause I'm Cold Kicking Lyrics Till The Day I Die
Many Fail To Copy At Least They Still Try
Busting Up Vocabulary Is What I Do Most
I'm Gonna Spread Your Legs Like Butter And Gobble Ya Up Like Toast
You Went For The Cherry You Went Bobbing For The Apple
But The Apple It Be Rotten And You Had To Eat The Scrappple
Scrapple? Pig Meat From A Pig Pen Hog Leftovers Your Girlfriend
Flex To The Effects And I Don't Care What Nobody Thinks
Eating All You Sherbert And Dropping All Your Tiddiley Winks
Whoops Goes My Arm I Think It's Outta Socket
Come Over Little Girlie I Got Some Candy In My Pocket
One Way Or Another I'm Gonna Find Ya
I'm Gonna Getcha Getcha Getcha Getcha
I Get Bombed Much Like Pearl Harbor
The Price Is White Right And I'm Bob Barker
This Is Your Brain On Drugs
This Is Your Brain On Jackie Onassis
All You Crotch Goblins Can Kiss Our Asses
Yes Siree Bob Like Corn On The Cob
I'm All Buttered Up Ready To Hob Nob
Daddy Is A Kraut Your Nazi-Occupied France
I'm Gonna Rise To The Occasion Inside My Pants
So Yo Ass Yea You I Want To Fraggle Rock Your Girlie
Coming Around The Party Coming Around Like Mr. Furley
I'm Mr. Furley You're Jack Tripper
You're Dumb Ass Gilligan And I'm The Skipper
Tiptoe Through My Tulips And Come And Frolic
Cause My Name Is Betty Ford And She's An Alcoholic
So Here I Am Rock Me Like A Hurricane
Not A Scorpion But My Sting Will Bring Your Dame A Lot Of Pain
And Daddy¹S Gonna Tell Ya I¹M As Cool As Jack The Ripper
Somewhat Of A Cut-Throat But Still A Big Tipper
As I Tickle You Pink I Bet My Fingers Start To Stink
I'm What's Missing From Your Life And You're The Missing Link
It Doesn't Matter How You Win Or Lose It's How You Lick It....
No Rest For The Wicked
Get Down Drink It Up Bring It On Take It Off
Flips It Up In The Air Like My Name Was Bob Barker
I Always Kicks It Cold So I Gotta Wear My Parka
I'm Leaving Down My Marker I'm Stalking Like A Stalker
Using The Force Like My Name Was Luke Skywalker
Left Hand¹S On The Wheel And The Right One On The Bottle
One Foot In The Grave And The Other On The Throttle
I'm Floating Through Your Atmosphere Like The Comet Haley¹S
As Freaky As A Freak Show Call Me Barnum And Bailey
So Yo Ho My Cheerio Here I'm Coming Around The Bend
Don't Try To Shake My Hand I'm Not Your Fucking Friend
Bodyslam Ya To The Ground Like I Was Captain Lou Albano
Hit Ya In The Balls Till You're Singing Soprano
Slide To The Dance Floor Groove Til You Get Sore
Listen To The Tiger's Roar I'll Pump You Like A Seesaw
I'm A Tattooed Demon Do You Catch My Meaning
Think That You're Dreaming But Soon You'll Be Screaming
I Got More Senseless Violence Than A Thriller In Manila
Like My Hero Gacy I¹M A Stone Cold Killer
I Got My Moves From Thriller I¹M Fish You¹Re Barney Miller
Spreading Out The Carnage Like Mechagodzilla
Like Jimmy Pop Says He's As Cool As Jack The Ripper
So Take Off Your Panties And I¹Ll Kick Off My Slippers
Do As I Say And I Will Be A Big Tipper
More Smooth Moves Than My Man Jack Tripper
It Goes One Two Three When I'm Kicking Funky Lyrics
I'm Busting Up Vocabulary I Want You All To Hear It
I'm Busting Up The Rhythm And I'm Busting Up The Rhyme
Kicking Down The Stop Posts Cause I Wanna Kicks The Time
I'm Digging Down Some Knowledge Cause You Know I Never Hide It
I'm Pulling Down Your Panties Cause I Want To Get Inside 'Em
Like A Boa A Boa A Boa Constrictor
Gonna Drop Off Your Drawers Shoot Straight For Your Sphincter
I Could Roll My Rhymes But I Would Be Faking
Jimmy Jimmy Pop Is Not Jamaican
J I Double M Y Pop Go
I Run The Show Like Don Pardo
With A Bugaloo Bee On The Beboo Tip
My Hit Will Make You Trip Cause I'm Quadradipped
I'll Do The Popeye Pluto I'll Freak The Funkfazooto
Not Latino What I Mean Though Fuzzy Dice Like Menudo
Rubber Baby Buggy's Bumpers
Punky's Brewsters Now I Hump Her
With My Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weenie Shrunken Small White Peenie
So Rinse Spit Swallow Brain Blank Kinda Hollow
Not To Deep Leap Wow Oh Kinda Shallow
Cause We're In Your Face Like Ed Gein
Purple Rain Purple Rain
Mama Say Mama Sa Mama Cu Sa
Mama Say Mama Sa Mama Cu Sa
Naughty By Nature And White By Choice
And The Sound Of My Voice Makes Your Panties Moist
Cause I'm Finger Lickin¹ Happy Like A Gay Proctologist
So Like A Dyke With Hollow Tits I'll Rip The Mike With Hollow Tips
Yeah He's In Control Like Sherman Potter
And I Got More Balls Then The Harlem Globetrotters
Jimmy Pop Jimmy Pop Rah Rah Rah
Mama Say Mama Sa Mama Cu Sa
So Now I'm Floating Out The Pipes Like A Village People Sump Pump
Always Take A Swallow Cause You Know I Never Get Enough
So Batter Up Bruce Banner If You Think You're Going Measure Up
Can't Be The Top Dog Gotta Be The Scooby Pup
Step To The Bass Drum Always Gotta Have Fun
If You Add Two Halves You'll Always Get The Total Sum
My Steps Are Correct And My Mike Is Always Checked
And When A Punk Is In Effect You Know He's Gonna Get Wrecked
I Don't Want To Start No Blasphemous Rumors
But I Think That Sinbad's Got A Lousy Sense Of Humor
Little Children Unattended Better Get My Poison Candy
Don't Care About Y'all As Long As We Feel Dandy
And I Get The Poon From Judy Blume
Mr Hoopers Dead So Won't You Give Me His Broom
So Come On Chickey Baby Let's Go Make Some Noise
What? No I'm Not The Guy From The Beastie Boys
Mama Say Mama Sa Mama Cu Sa
Ashes To Ashes And Funks To Funky
Daddy Long Legs Is A Mean Ass Honky
And Jimmy Pop Ain't No Heiny Hobbit Gaybe
Ain't No Big Meaty Chunks In My Thick Brown Gravy
Cause I'm The Loch Ness The Loch Ness The Loch Ness Monster
Jerry's Kids Are Knockin' At My Door, "Could You Be A Sponsor?"
Tiny Bubbles In My Tub Pull My Finger Lawrence Welk
If You Wanna Look Like Rocky Dennis Better Drink Your Milk
When I'm Feeling Oriental I Gotta Rub My Chin
Gonna Hold My Water In Like I'm Gunga Din
So Have A Taste Of My Bass Cause The Girlies Got Smiles
You Get On My Case Like The Rockford Files
Crazy Eddie In The Slammer Cause He's Giving It All Away
John Boy In The Barn With A Horse In The Hay
No Rhyme No Reason No Job No Class
And We Don't Go Near The Ghetto Cause They'd Shoot Our Ass
Go Go Yeah Yeah Huh What?
I'm A Legend In My Spare Time
If You Ain't Ever Been To The Suburbs
Don't Ever Come To The Suburbs
Cause You Wouldn't Understand The Suburbs
Cause I'm A Huskin' A Huskin' A Huskin' Your Corn
I'm As Deep As The Plot To A Gay Porn
So Uh-Oh Spaghettios I Forgot To Hide Away The Body
I Know That She's A Hotty But Damn That Girl Could Party
So Come To Me Momma It Ain't No Crime
I'm The Skilled Love Doctor Growlin', "What's Your Sign?"
I Did The Flamin' Waffle With Ho Chi Min
Your Girl's A Dollar Bill We Don't Know Where She's Been
J.F.K.'S Head Is A Puzzle And Your Woman Needs A Muzzle
Barbara Eden In The Bottle And Now I'm Gonna Guzzle
You're Too What? Shy Shy Huh What?
Hush Hush Yea? I Knew Why
Cause We're Playing The Palladium You Can't Get On Star Search
Daddy Legs Standing Tall He Can Do The Funky Lurch
And Jimmy Jimmy Pop Is Short For Jimmy Jimmy Popular
You Know I Know You Know Your Not The Tough Guy That You Thought You Were
Go Go Yeah Yeah Huh What?
I'm A Legend In My Spare Time
Cause I Wopbobaloobop
Ha Cha Cha Chatch
Come Lick My Balls
Vive La My Crotch
Cause Your Daddy Thinks I'm Lazy Your Momma Thinks I'm Crazy
But Neither Of Them Know That You Are Carrying My Baby
And I'm The Amos I'm The Andy I'm The Sticky Aunt Jemammy
I Gave You Mouth To Mouth Like Resuscitation Annie
It Takes Two Of Us To Do This Like Dean Martin Jerry Lewis
And Your Throat Is Swollen Gloryholen' Ya Blew Us
George Burns' Pacemaker Beats Steady Slow And Low
That's Why We Got More Hits Then A Dealer At A Dead Show
Go Go Yeah Yeah Huh What?
?? let's try again
This time we're sloppy
Like child birth!
Where's my fucking bass guitar?
Everybody Look Around Hear The Sound
Something Specials Gonna Come Your Way
We Got Something That Is New That Is True
We Got Something Just For You Today
All Around The Nation (Whoa Oh)
We're The New Sensation
Have You Heard? Have You Heard? Have You Heard?
We're Kids Incorporated K.I.D.S.
We're Kids Incorporated K.I.D.S. (Whoa Oh)
Looks Like We Made It We're Kids Incorporated
In The City In The Street
There's A Beat There's A Feeling That You Can't Deny
All The People Wanna Move Wanna Grove
There's A Shine A Spirit In Their Eyes
All Around The Nation (Whoa Oh)
We're The New Sensation
Have You Heard? Have You Heard? Have You Heard?
We're Kids Incorporated K.I.D.S.
We're Kids Incorporated K.I.D.S. (Whoa Oh)
Looks Like We Made It We're Kids Incorporated
K.I.D.S. Kids Incorporated We're Gonna Have Fun
K.I.D.S. Kids Incorporated For Everyone
All Around The Nation
We're The New Sensation
Have You Heard? Have You Heard? Have You Heard?
We're Kids Incorporated K.I.D.S.
We're Kids Incorporated K.I.D.S. (Whoa Oh)
Looks Like We Made It We're Kids Incorporated (What?)
Looks Like We Made It We're Kids Incorporated
If your ass is a Chinese restaurant I'll have the poo-poo platter
My friend Jerry Vandergrift kissed me in Home Ec. class
Later in the afternoon some jarheads in the locker room kicked my ass
I said guys I'm like you I like Monster Trucks too
Wanna see how many push-ups I can do?
I just wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
But if I were handsome just imagine how great it would be
Incognito as gay though but not actually that way though pseudo homo phony
Maybe it's a stupid theory or maybe just stupidity
But if I was a queerbee in the fashion industry
Scoring with a super model would be easy
Cause 'super model' means voluptuous but is also is synonomous with 'super dumb'
Ya see I'd be a good listener so she'd treat me like a sister and soon I'd become
That trusted friend that cares that rubs her back and braids her hair
No it wouldn't be a week before I'm in her underwear
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
Doesn't matter what I'm packin' in my denim it's what's in my genes
The only smoked meat the only sausage I would eat is made by Jimmy Dean
See I'm not to keen on the smell of Vaseline
No I'm not Princess Di and I don't wanna be a queen
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Anyway if I were gay I'd have to change my name to Dirk or Lewis
Hang out with my mom's hair stylist his name is Kip he's got a lisp he talks like this
And wear my mother's lingerie learn the songs of Broadway
And appreciate Depeche Mode and avant garde ballet
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
And I don't shave my heiny
Don't shave my heiny
Got the mike in my hand but can I make you understand
That a-hole bands have a-hole fans
Bloodhound's the name and the Gang's to blame
Like Chan n' Chin the Siamese twins it's one in the same
So fame ain't gonna live forever
Never worrying about dying cause it can't be any better
But whatever happens to happen always happens for the worst
And if the worst is yet to happen I hope it happens to you first
So hello Joe what do you know?
Heard ya just got back from a Bloodhound show
Did you do the Batussi or did you do the Hustle?
Did you do the Flamin' Waffle or the Super Bowl Shuffle?
No matter what you did you're gonna be amused
If you were not entertained you did not drink enough booze
If ya get your eyes a'fuzzin' then we'll get your ears a'buzzin'
Cause we play around the world you play around with your cousin
Bloodhound boys
Bloodhound girls
Bloodhound noise
Bloodhound world
Rock on rock on do it dusk til' dawn
Anywhere we go everywhere we've gone
Don't matter what state, what town, what show
Hell-bound Bloodhound going nowhere slow
We rock Philadelphia Baltimore Las Vegas Indianapolis
Louisville Atlanta New Orleans and Minneapolis
Houston Tucson Phoenix Buffalo
Tulsa Mobile Albuquerque Wichita and Orlando
Portland Salt Lake City Memphis Washington D.C.
Charlotte Oklahoma City Little Rock and Milwuakee
Cleveland Tampa Norfolk Dallas Raleigh Hartford Cincinnati
Boston Nashville Kansas City Chattanooga and Miami
Honolulu Richmond Austin Pittsburgh San Antonio
Baton Rouge and Anchorage and Birmingham and Toledo
Denver Detroit Dayton Spokane Fresno
And Jacksonville Colombus Springfield New York Sacramento
Los Angeles St. Paul St. Louis San Francisco
Madison Knoxville Seattle San Jose and San Diego
Jackson Omaha Des Moines Boise Providence Chicago
But no where in New Jersey that's the only place we won't go
Bloodhound boys
Bloodhound girls
Bloodhound noise
Bloodhound world
Rock on rock on do it dusk til' dawn
Anywhere we go everywhere we've gone
Don't matter what state, what town, what show
Hell-bound Bloodhound going nowhere slow
Rock on rock on do it dusk til' dawn
Anywhere we go everywhere we've gone
Don't matter what state, what town, what show
Vulcanize the whoopee stick
In the ham wallet
Cattle prod the oyster ditch
With the lap rocket
Batter dip the cranny ax
In the gut locker
Retrofit the pudding hatch
Ooh la la
With the boink swatter
If I get you in the loop when I make a point to be straight with you then
In lieu of the innuendo in the end know my intent though
I Brazilian wax poetic so pathetically
I don't wanna beat around the bush
Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo
Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo
Marinate the nether rod
In the squish mitten
Power drill the yippee bog
With the dude piston
Pressure wash the quiver bone
In the bitch wrinkle
Cannonball the fiddle cove
Ooh la la
With the pork steeple
If I get you in the loop when I make a point to be straight with you then
In lieu of the innuendo in the end know my intent though
I Brazilian wax poetic so pathetically
I don't wanna beat around the bush
Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo
Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo
Put the you know what in the you know where
Put the you know what in the you know where
Put the you know what in the you know where
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire,
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire,
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire,
We don't need no water let the motherfucker burn,
Burn motherfucker burn.
Hello my name is Jimmy Pop and I'm a dumb white guy,
I'm not old or new but middle school fifth grade like junior high,
I don't know mofo if y'all peeps be buggin' give props to my ho cause she all fly,
But I can take the heat cause I'm the other white meat known as 'Kid Funky Fried',
Yeah I'm hung like planet Pluto hard to see with the naked eye,
But if I crashed into Uranus I would stick it where the sun don't shine,
Cause I'm kind of like Han Solo always stroking my own wookie,
I'm the root of all that's evil yeah but you can call me cookie,
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire,
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire,
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire,
We don't need no water let the motherfucker burn,
Burn motherfucker burn.
Yo yo this hard-core ghetto gangster image takes a lot of practice,
I'm not black like Barry White no I am white like Frank Black is,
So if man is five and the devil is six than that must make me seven,
This honkey's gone to heaven,
But if I go to hell then I hope I burn well,
I'll spend my days with J.F.K., Marvin Gaye, Martha Raye, and Lawrence Welk,
And Kurt Cobain, Kojak, Mark Twain and Jimi Hendrix's poltergeist,
And Webster yeah Emmanuel Lewis cause he's the anti-christ,
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire,
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire,
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire,
We don't need no water let the motherfucker burn,
Burn motherfucker burn.
Everybody here we go,
Ohh Ohh,
C'mon party people,
Ohh Ohh,
Throw your hands in the air,
Ohh Ohh,
C'mon party people,
Ohh Ohh,
Wave 'em like you don't care,
Ohh Ohh,
C'mon party people,
Ohh Ohh,
Everbody say ho,
Ohh Ohh,
C'mon party people,
Ohh Ohh,
Coo Coo Ca Choo Baby You That's What You Are
You Are A Hollywood Star You're The High Priestess By Far
And You Know This Tune's For You We Call It Coo Coo Ca Choo
And It's A Very Brief Description Of The Things We Could Do To You
You Were Looking At Me I Was Looking At You
Coo Coo Ca Choo Coo Coo Ca Choo
You Were Looking At Me I Was Looking At You
Coo Coo Ca Choo Now What Ya Gonna Do
Oil Me Up Quick Miss Daisy Before I'm Lubing Up Your Tailpipe
Or The Bedposts Will Be A Knocking And
A Knocking Til The Break Of Light
Raised And Dazed In A Million And One Ways
Like A Morton Coffee Roll I Want You Hot And Glazed
You're Not The Real Thing Baby You're Parkay You're Not Butter
Gonna Have To Get You Home And Lube You Up With Fluff-N-Nutter
Scope It Scope It Baby Looking So Fit
Playing Games And Laying Dames You Know I Know You Know It
Quick To Get The Condom You Know The Jimmy Fits Too Snug
Lean You Against The Fire Place And Ride You On The Bear Skin Rug
Chow Down My Ding Dong Come And Sing Along
Slip A Grip Around My Tip And Then You'll Be My Kling-On
Now In My Sweat Pants You're Gonna See My Erection
Ooh Oh Pick A De Pop Pop Perfection
Umpla Dumpla Dippedee Do
Cause I'd Never Leave The House If Mommy Looked Like You
You Were Looking At Me I Was Looking At You
Coo Coo Ca Choo Coo Coo Ca Choo
You Were Looking At Me I Was Looking At You
Coo Coo Ca Choo Now What Ya Gonna Do
Butter Up Butter Cup Did Ya Really Think
It Would Really Last That Long
My Attention Span Hutches And When
You Wake Up You Know That I'll Be Gone
Cocoa Butter Beach Blonde Wearing That Thin Thong
You Know I Got A Thing For You It's Only An Inch Long
Picking Up Your Signals Like You're A Tv Station
I'm Looking For The Channel To Have Immoral Applications
Looking So Fine Cosmo Behind
Fermentation Of Time Like Reunite Wine
Well I'm Bubbling Up And Steaming Like An Active Volcano
I Think I Clogged Up All Your Pipes Better Get Yourself Some Draino
I Get Annoyed Cause I Can't Avoid
Baby Sounding Like A Mongoloid
I Gots The Skills To Keep Ya Busy All Night
If You Do Not Bite I Hope You Blow Like Dynamite
Happy Thanksgiving Would You Like A Little White Meat?
I¹Ll Stuff My Butterballs Then You Can Eat
You Were Looking At Me I Was Looking At You
Coo Coo Ca Choo Coo Coo Ca Choo
You Were Looking At Me I Was Looking At You
Bloodhounds shall cruise rendezvous
Break curfew new trip ensues
You never know Bloodhounds just go
Pack backpack up for down the road
No change of clothes but change for tolls
Pack of No-Doz Rolos and Skoal
Old Milwaukee Jolt black coffee
Sugar Daddy Rand McNally
A pack of jacks those orange Tic-Tacs
Glen Miller tracks roll of Kodak
The phantom black stacked Pontiac
Hot rod dual quads and in the back
Is the beat keeper big ass speaker
Jumbo woofer rattle tweeter
Dial is turned and there it's stayin'
The next day where Stern is playin'
You got your Jesus on the dashbord but the devil's under my hood
You're taking it down legal I'm pullin' it up to no good
God is your co-pilot I let Satan ride shotgun
You pay a toll to get to heaven but on the road to hell there's none
You got your Jesus on the dashbord but the devil's under my hood
You're taking it down legal I'm pullin' it up to no good
God is your co-pilot I let Satan ride shotgun
You pay a toll to get to heaven but on the road to hell there's none
Get up you're asleep at the wheel
Get up you're asleep at the wheel
Get up you're asleep at the wheel
I-95 eight lanes wide
Midnight drive take a ride
Alongside east coast tide
Getting high so am I
Bloodshot red eyes from the fumes
I consume engine zoom then engine boom
Then enging glow erupt and blow
And overflow like volcano
So far to go can't turn back though
Cheap tobacco cup of black Joe
Fuelin' my body jumstartin' my soul
Set my mind on cruise control
You got your Jesus on the dashbord but the devil's under my hood
You're taking it down legal I'm pullin' it up to no good
God is your co-pilot I let Satan ride shotgun
You pay a toll to get to heaven but on the road to hell there's none
Get up you're asleep at the wheel
Get up you're asleep at the wheel
Get up you're asleep at the wheel
24-7 Truck Stop Plaza
Turn off headlights turn on hazards
3 A.M. is when I gazed
Eyes glazed I'm dazed and then I fade
To black now were back
'On The Road' like Kerouac
Down the turnpike high rate of speed
Up all night like Gilbert Gottfried
You got your Jesus on the dashbord but the devil's under my hood
You're taking it down legal I'm pullin' it up to no good
God is your co-pilot I let Satan ride shotgun
You pay a toll to get to heaven but on the road to hell there's none
Get up you're asleep at the wheel
Get up you're asleep at the wheel
Every time I think that
I'm the only one who's lonely
Someone calls on me
And every now and then
I spend my time at rhyme and verse
And curse those faults in me
And then along comes Mary
And does she want to give me kicks and be my steady chick
And give me pick of memories
Or maybe rather gather tales from all the fails and tribulations
No one ever sees
When we met I was sure out to lunch
Now my empty cup tastes as sweet as the punch
When vague desire is the fire
In the eyes of chicks whose sickness
Is the games they play
And when the masquerade is played
The neighbor folks make jokes
At who is most to blame today
And then along comes Mary
And does she want to set them free and
Let them see reality
From where she got her name
And will they struggle much
when told that such a tender touch of hers
Will make them not the same
When we met I was sure out to lunch
Now my empty cup tastes as sweet as the punch
And when the morning of the warning's passed
The gassed and flaccid kids
Are flung across the stars
The psychodramas and the traumas gone
The songs have all been sung
And hung upon the scars
And then along comes Mary
And does she want to see the stains,
The dead remains of all the pain
She left the night before
Or will their waking eyes reflect the lies
And make them realize
Their urgent cry for sight no more
When we met I was sure out to lunch
Now my empty cup tastes as sweet as the punch
Sweet as the punch
Sweet as the punch
Sweet as the punch
Ain't my job
To fuck you on your birthday
Ain't my job
To fuck you on your birthday anymore
Ain't my job
To fuck you on your birthday
Ain't my job
To fuck you on your birthday anymore
Maybe you got screwed but i dumped you 'cause you ain't nothin' but trash
I put out despite the fact that you're like a hawaiian punch moustache
Right under my nose thinking i'm so colonel klink oblivious
But how could i not see you got off scot-free 'cause i know this means it
Ain't my job
To fuck you on your birthday
Ain't my job
To fuck you on your birthday anymore
Ain't my job
To fuck you on your birthday
Ain't my job
To fuck you on your birthday anymore
If i want to be repeatedly shit on i'll go make dutch porn
When roughly translated even your naked truth means squat and what's more
I'm missing you like a hijacked flight on september 11th
I don't know who got on you but i'm not wrong in thanking them since it
Ain't my job
To fuck you on your birthday
Ain't my job
To fuck you on your birthday anymore
Ain't my job
To fuck you on your birthday
Ain't my job
To fuck you on your birthday anymore
Maybe it ain't your birthday but then again
Ya know i wouldn't give a fuck
When what i shoulda got is over ya sooner so now
I'm just gonna wrap it up
Maybe it ain't your birthday but then again
Ya know i wouldn't give a fuck
When what i shoulda got is over ya sooner so now
I'm just gonna wrap it up
Ain't my job
I'm just gonna wrap it up
To fuck you on your birthday
I'm just gonna wrap it up
Ain't my job
I'm just gonna wrap it up
To fuck you on your birthday anymore
I'm just gonna wrap it up
Ain't my job
I'm just gonna wrap it up
To fuck you on your birthday
I'm just gonna wrap it up
Ain't my job
I'm just gonna wrap it up
To fuck you on your birthday anymore
I'm just gonna wrap it up
The only thing going down in this car
Is the window 'cause your pussy stank
Potent is the flow which is wicked sick
So hos of those that pounce bounce slow on the dick
Potent is the flow which is wicked sick
So hos of those that pounce bounce slow on the dick
I don't give a shit about celebrity
But motherfuckers did ya happen to who's here? me
The bottom feeder at the top of the food chain
Frontin' from the back of the line on some dud named
After car parts that as fast as a spark hitting gas
Starts a fire gets wired from barbs that
Cut like a jalapeno popper fart
Burnin up an asshole that once riped apart
Punched hard but it ain't like i ever cared if i went
Too far as stitches left scars from more clowns bent
Outta shape than the cirque de soleil ever had so
Though he throws his weight around he's still in my shadow
In the dark so he doesn't know his girl remarked that i make her
Laugh on the inside but i can hear it later
With my dick as her other cunt gets screwed
In the process i got to get hot chicks nude
The payback is cum in fools' circles if it's
Those turnin' on those turnin' on the bitches
The payback is cum in fools' circles if it's
Those turnin' on those turnin' on the bitches
Balls out my life is a slut
This dick don't hit the bottom but i fuck the sides up
Balls out my life is a slut
This dick don't hit the bottom but i fuck the sides up
Potent is the flow which is wicked sick
So hos of those that pounce bounce slow on the dick
Potent is the flow which is wicked sick
So hos of those that pounce bounce slow on the dick
Thanks to you bitches i got more screams
Than david arquette's resume what that means
Is my job involves getting' mobbed like john gotti
Dressed to kill like i'm gianni versace
But i gotta be so when a gimp limps back for more
In a huff like that fat kid that had to sit out for
Every gym class due to his asthma that wore
One correctional shoe but still passed that i swore
I spotted at the smorgasbord sprintin' for seconds
That i reckon ain't as sloppy as the leftovers gettin'
Me clocked by blocked cock pissed my tryst with his missus
Got her panties in a bunch just like his is
That my face between her legs? because that could be
What convinced this dick getting' hard i'm a pussy
But if that were my name i would have autographed her breasts with
Motherfuckin' dollar signs instead of s's
The payback is cum in fools' circles if it's
Those turnin' on those turnin' on the bitches
The payback is cum in fools' circles if it's
Those turnin' on those turnin' on the bitches
Balls out my life is a slut
This dick don't hit the bottom but i fuck the sides up
Balls out my life is a slut
This dick don't hit the bottom but i fuck the sides up
Balls out my life is a slut
This dick don't hit the bottom but i fuck the sides up
Balls out my life is a slut
This dick don't hit the bottom but i fuck the sides up
Balls out my life is a slut
This dick don't hit the bottom but i fuck the sides up
Balls out my life is a slut
How do you let someone know
If your hot cakes are selling well?
....
...You must die I alone am best!
I hope ya flip some guy the bird,
He cuts you off and you're forced to swerve,
In front of the Beatles' tour bus,
A Bookmobile and a Mack truck,
Hauling hazardous biological waste,
The light turns red you have no brakes,
And "Hard Copy" gets it all on tape,
So you can see the look on your face,
...Die Die Die Die Die Die Die!,
...Die Die Die Die Die Die Die!,
I hope your Pinto begins to spin,
Takes out a disabled Vietnam Veteran,
Mows down a Nobel Peace Prize Winner,
And maybe some orphans having Christmas dinner,
Perhaps even the British Royal Family,
And the Rabbi that's clutching the bottle-fed puppy,
And we can't forget the newlyweds,
And those Jerry's Kids are as good as dead,
I hope this helps to emphasize,
I hope this helps to clarify,
I hope you die,
I hope your cellmate thinks he's God,
But C.N.N. refer to him as "Bowling Ball Bag Bob",
Serving time again for abuse of a corpse,
Only this time the victim's a Clydesdale horse,
While he masturbates to photos of livestock,
He does the "Silence of the Lambs" dance to Christian Rock,
Eats feces and quotes from "Deliverance",
And fights with his imaginary playmate Vince,
...Die Die Die Die Die Die Die!,
...Die Die Die Die Die Die Die!,
I hope he grins like Jack Nicholson,
And forces you to play a game called Balls On Chin,
And whatever happens next is all a blur,
But you remember "fist" can be a verb,
And when you finally regain consciousness,
You're bound and gagged in a wedding dress,
And the prison guard looks the other way,
'Cause he's the guy ya flipped the bird the other day,
I hope this helps to emphasize,
I hope this helps to clarify,
I hope you die,
I was lonelier than Kunta Kinte at a Merle Haggard concert
That night I strolled on into Uncle Limpy's Hump Palace lookin' for love.
It had been a while.
In fact, three hundred and sixty-five had come and went
since that midnight run haulin' hog to Shakey Town on I-10.
I had picked up this hitchhiker that was sweatin' gallons
through a pair of Daisy Duke cut-offs and one of those Fruit Of The Loom tank-tops.
Well, that night I lost myself to ruby red lips,
milky white skin and baby blue eyes.
Name was Russell.
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well, faster than you can say, "shallow grave",
this pretty little thing come up to me and starts kneadin' my balls
like hard-boiled eggs in a tube sock.
Said her name was Bambi and I said, "Well that's a coincidence darlin',
'cause I was just thinkin' about skinnin' you like a deer."
Well she smiled, had about as much teeth as a Jack-O-Lantern,
and I went on to tell her how I would wear her face like a mask
as I do my little kooky dance.
And then she told me to shush.
I guess she could sense my desperation.
'Course, it's hard to hide a hard-on when you're dressed like Minnie Pearl.
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
So, Bambi's goin' on about how she can make all my fantasies come true.
So I says, "Even this one I have where Jesus Christ
is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole
with a lawn dart as Garth Brooks gives birth to something
resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum?"
Well, ten beers, twenty minutes and thirty dollars later
I'm parkin' the beef bus in tuna town if you know what I mean.
Got to nail her back at her trailer.
Heh. That rhymes.
I have to admit it was even more of a turn-on
when I found out she was doin' me to buy baby formula.
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Day or so had passed when I popped the clutch,
gave the tranny a spin and slid on into
The Stinky Pinky Gulp N' Guzzle Big Rig Snooze-A-Stop.
There I was browsin' through the latest issue of "Throb",
when I saw Bambi starin' at me from the back of a milk carton.
Well, my heart just dropped.
So, I decided to do what any good Christian would.
You can not imagine how difficult it is to hold a half gallon of moo juice
and polish the one-eyed gopher when your doin' seventy-five
in an eighteen-wheeler.
I never thought missing children could be so sexy.
Did I say that out loud?
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Why is everbody always pickin' on me?
The morn' that I was born my old man beat up the doctor
He clocked the doctor cause the doctor said I looked like Chewbacca
The doctor said sir you're misled sir which infers you mistook me
I did not mean your lovely wife was shackin' up with a wookie
What I mean is Wolverine is less hairy than your son
He's looks like Chewie Baba Booey Baba Booey and Hong Kong Phooey all in one
To put it mild your new-born child's completely nutty fu-fu lookin'
I'd shove him back into the oven until he is done cookin'
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Cause my fifteen year-old cousin has less acne
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Ain't brushed them teeth since 1983
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Cause you got the grooming habits of a chimpanzee
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Cause you're white but you got a nose like Bill Cosby
Why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Always pickin' and rippin' apart poor ol' Jimmy Pop Ali
I got a schnoz like the 'Cos' but there's a lot more wrong with you
So back me up Bill yea and you're ugly too
So what if I brush my teeth with a piece of cheddar cheese
Or where a fish net shirt by Chams with my Sergio Valenti jeans
And my mirror never lies but it always verifies
I got more cheese and pepperoni than a homemade pizza pie
You compare me to a Monchichi but I don't understand
Why I'm scorned like I'm deformed like the Elephant Man
And yea I took my mom to the prom but hey she asked me first
But at least this time I didn't find my date in the back of a hearse
About as popular with the girls with Englebert Humperdink
And that might be 'cause everybody calls me Shrinky Dink
I know I'm known as Polaroid I'm not a total retard
It's cause I'm done in sixty seconds and you'll still want it enlarged
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Cause ya wore velour flares until the late Eighties
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Cause you run like a girl and sit down to pee
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Cause your only school chum was the lunch lady
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
You took your mom to the prom but still got lucky
Like that episode where Gilligan gets sick of being teased
And he breaks into the Professor's lab and makes some LSD
Peaks freaks and eats the Skipper's brains then beats Ginger with coconuts
As Mr. Howell and Lovey burn alive inside their grass hut
Oh he'll kill again that Gilligan they he should of let him be
And like a postal clerk I'll go beserk if you don't stop teasing me
See the trick is only pick on those that can't do you no harm
Like the drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Cause my fifteen year-old cousin has less acne
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Ain't brushed them teeth since 1983
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Cause you got the grooming habits of a chimpanzee
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Cause you're white but you got a nose like Bill Cosby
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Cause ya wore velour flares until the late Eighties
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Cause you run like a girl and sit down to pee
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Cause your only school chum was the lunch lady
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Who's The Knuckleheads?
We Are The Knuckleheads?
If You Would Be The Peanut Butter Then I Would Play The Jelly
I'll Peel Apart Your Bread And Then I'll Penetrate Your Belly
Your Blood Stains Mighty Bad I Wash It Off With Coast
Now I'll Take My Jelly And Spread It On Your Toast
No One Rhymes Faster The Mic Is My Blaster
So Grasp Some Shasta The Mighty Mic Master
Giving Ya Communion With Your Lips On My Cup
Pump Pump Pump Pump Me Up
Now If You're The Waterboy Then I'm The Heavyweight Contender
I'm Gonna Mix You All Up Like A Black And Decker Blender
If You Would Be The Telstar Then I'd Have To Be Defender
I'll Be Out In Just Four Weeks I Was A First Offender
Your A Dumb Ass Stupid Vera And I'm The One That Flo Calls Mel
Puttin' Holes Right Through Your Body Like Harvey Keitel
You're A Broken Down Big Wheel I'm A Banana-Seated Schwinn
Take The Butt Of Your Gun And Smash Their Nose In Clip of Harvey Keitel from Reservoir Dogs
I'm A Lego-Eggo Maniac I'm Stickier Than Some Fun Tack
Trip To The Store And Get Another Six Pack
Bomb Dropping Like At Ground Zero
Like Colonel Klink Is Getting Fucked By Hogan's Heroes
Eenie Meanie Miney Mo You Took Your Shot You Missed
I Wasn't A Good Boy This Year I'm Not On Santa's List
I Gave Your Girl Some Sausage And Than I Slit Your Wrists
Now I'm Taking Your Ass Out Like My Name Was Burgeous Meredith
Who's The Knuckleheads?
We Are The Knuckleheads
Fast Fast Quick Bic Like Ass When Ya Pass Gas
You Threw It Like A Girl That's Why You Got Picked Last
And Mr. Easy Does It Never Did It Now Did He
Jesus Is Coming So Look Busy
And You And Your Chumps Are Gonna Get Your Lumps
I Got The Goose That Laid The Golden Egg You Got Goose Bumps
Cause I'm Black Y'all, It's A Fact Y'all
And If You Try To Take What's Mine I'll Take It Back Y'all
I Wish All Skinheads Smelled Like Mr. Clean
And That Girl From Jersey Really Was Nineteen
Cause The Whole Damn World Would Be Peachy Keen
With Rip Taylor On The Cover Of Every Magazine So Go
Rip Rip Rip Taylor
Rip Rip Rip Taylor
Rip Taylor Rip Taylor
Your Girlfriend
We Nailed Her
My Mom's Got Opposable Thumbs
Your Mom's Weezie Jefferson
I'd Rather Eat Fresh Heiny Chow
And I Ain't Crazy About No God Damn Butthole No How
Batter Roll And Whip Ya Like A Fucken' Kanoli
If Satan Had A Hockey Team Theni'd Be The Goalie
Cause We're Dumber Than Driftwood Dumber Than Your Mama
Dumber Than A Supermodel Dumber Than Kwanza
Who's The Knuckleheads?
Hey! Da dee dada dee da da
This is Rip Taylor
Hey there sprinkle genies!
Haha!
Did you know that midgets make up a small percentage of the population?
Hah!
Not half, up to here, HAHA HEY!
But seriously, don't you think it's time we had a female president?
With big gazooms? Tatee tattoo tees?
Tatta ta too tatas?
Baba bing bangs?
Big jugs, get it?
Hello Dolly
Is this microphone on? Hello? Anybody out there can they hear me?
Somebody call my agent, my hair is lifting!
Please, what am I doing here?
You're probably saying to yourself
"Why the HELL would a comedic virtuoso like, Rip Taylor,
want anything to do with those half-witted white trash crotch
goblins The Bloodhound Gang?"
Oh! Well listen folks, the answer is very simple..
Haha... American cashito, dollareenies, no cheques!
They paid me you hiney hopper why else?
Oh I'm getting moist!
I mean come on, let's face it kids, pardon me... but they are
Hey, look at all that meat, ain't she the bitter end?
....
Excuse me, have you seen my wife's placenta?
....
Haha, all right Apollo!
Let's hear it one more time for mister, Gary, Coleman!
Whatcha talk about Willis? That joke is funny everytime I hear it!
Let's put your hands together now, Harlem
For, that's right, Harlem
That's right, get up now, Harlem
For The Blood, hound, Gang!
Yo wassup Apollooo
Everybody say "Ho!"
Originally performed by Kim Wilde
Looking out a dirty old window.
Down below the cars in the city go rushing by.
I sit here alone and I wonder why.
Friday night and everyone's moving.
I can feel the heat but it's soothing.
Heading down, I search for the beat in this dirty town.
Down town the young ones are going.
Down town the young ones are growing.
We're the kids in America.
Everybody live for the music-go-round.
Bright ligths the music get faster.
Look boy, don't check on your watch, not another glance.
I'm not leaving now, honey not a chance.
Hot-shot, give me no problems.
Much later baby you'll be saying never mind.
You know life is cruel, life is never kind.
Kind hearts don't make a new story.
Kind hearts don't grab any glory.
Come closer, honey that's better.
Got to get a brand new experience.
Feeling right.
Oh don't try to stop baby.
Hold me tight.
Outside a new day is dawning.
Outside Suburbia's sprawling everywhere.
I don't want to go baby.
New York to East California.
I'm going to Africa yes ma'am I'm a brick was President Lincoln okay? mitten
There's a dog in the vent chicken necks? I pick Ken Griffey Jr. I fell out 2 times
I'm pedaling backwards this snowflake tastes like fish sticks we're a totem pole dying tickles
I heard a Frankenstein lives there she's touching my special area go banana
Ralphie ralphie
Get off get off
The stage the stage
Sweetheart sweetheart
Oh say can you rock?
I'm a pop sensation
I'm a pop sensation
Salmon gutter?
I'm idaho you smell like dead bunnies that's where I saw the leprechaun fun toys are fun
Chocolate microscopes you're not it that is so 1991 I bit my tongue
Ralphie ralphie
Get off get off
The stage the stage
Sweetheart sweetheart
Oh say can you rock?
I'm a pop sensation
I'm a pop sensation
Yvan eht nioj
Yvan eht nioj
Yvan eht nioj
Yvan eht nioj
Yvan eht nioj
Yvan eht nioj
Yvan eht nioj
Yvan eht nioj
One Night Me And The Crew Hit The Road On A Mission
To Slurp Free Brew And Go Fuzzy Flounder Fishin'
Kayjees On The Hi-Fi And The Keg Was Bottomless
Until We Brought Skip O' Pot2mus
And Daddy's Gonna Get Some Probably Underage And Dumb
And Everybody Knows That The Daddy Eats His Young
Lupus In The Lavatory Making A Big Stink
Macing Up The Toilet Seat And Pooping In The Sink
M.S.G.¹S Tanked Up And Wizzin' In A Cup
Waiting For A Sprinkle Genie To Come And Drink It Up
Cause I'm The One Bottle Willy With The 12 Horse Ale
After That I Get Silly Like Soupy Sales
Now It's Midnight And I'm Completely Boofy Blitzed
A Six Of Shlitz And The Jew Brew Manischewitz
With My Beer-Tinted Glasses I'm Ready To Bitty Battle
I'm Hungry Like The Wolf But I'll End Up Tending Cattle
Cause You're Pretty When I'm Drunk
(You're Pretty When I'm Drunk)
(And I'm Pretty Fuckin' Drunk)
Here She Comes, A Funky Fried Cutie
Mr. Jimmy Pop Ali Is Gonna Get Some Booty
Cause I'm Mr. Mcfeelie With A Speedy Delivery
You'd Think I Was A Ditch The Way This Chick Was Diggin' Me
But Maybe I Should Check And See If This Is Where I Wanna Be
Hey Lupus Is She Cute? Yea For A Pygmie
Aw! What Do You Know? You're Probably Going Home Alone
And It Wouldn't Be The First Time That I Gave A Dog A Bone
Plus Beauty, It's Only Skin Deep
It's In The Eye Of The Beholder And My Beholder's About To Tweak
I Could Tap That Barrel, In Fact I Know I Can
It's A Ménagé A Trois You And Me And Heineken
Cause You're Pretty When I'm Drunk
(You're Pretty When I'm Drunk)
Regrets I've Had A Few
First And Foremost I'd Like To Mention You
For The Sake Of Conversation We'll Call You The Brand New Heavy
Your A Mix Between An Ugnaut And Eugene Levy
You Can Call It Big-Boned, I Prefer To Call It Gut
Your Buddha Your Shamu Your Jabba The Fuckin' Hutt
You Had Harpoon Scars And Your Boobies Were Hairy
I Smelt Tuna Melt But I Wasn¹T Gonna Worry
It Was 3 A.M. And I Wasn't Gettin' Squat
So I Rolled You Up In Flour And Aimed It For The Wet Spot
I Was Buttering Rolls Like A Soup Kitchen Christian
Then It Hit Me Something Bit Me While My Little Rod Was Fishin'
I Was Deep Sea Fishing I Took A Fat Chance
But How Was I Supposed To Know That Jabberjaws
Lived In Your Pants
At That Junction I Came To Realize
That Only Frank Purdue Likes Thighs That Size
Fatty Fatty Boom Ba Latty I Gotta Lament
That You Were Not A Girl You Were An Experiment
Cause You're Pretty When I'm Drunk
(You're Pretty When I'm Drunk)
You're Pretty When I'm Drunk
Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby
Dog will hunt, i'm the front end loader, travoltin' over, so try my slam on for size
Drive stick with that kung-fu grip, let the banana split, and watch it go right to your thighs
Cop a feel copperfield style abracadabra that bra, do you think i can pull it off?
Wanna bang around? just jot me down on your to-do list, under "put out like a fire" 'cause
I got somethin' and it goes thumpin' like this
All you need is my uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
I got somethin' and it goes thumpin' like this
All you need is my uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby
Edible strings, how do i get, in your pants when, you're tick tockin' them
Serious levis? so tight can't be classified, that's why i'm here to fill that opening
Make a seasoned pass, to mount that ass, and bob hope that i might one night stand a chance
Let's go feng shui the fuck around my digs, like a superball, bring that sunny side up and
I got somethin' and it goes thumpin' like this
All you need is my uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
I got somethin' and it goes thumpin' like this
All you need is my uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby
Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
I got somethin' and it goes thumpin' like this
All you need is my uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
I got somethin' and it goes thumpin' like this
All you need is my uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby
Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
My last girlfriend didn't like me thought she might be,
Most likely a dyke she just didn't excite me,
Lefty? Yeah but that was alright,
She was hotter than the sun but she just wasn't that bright,
My mistake she was more flaky than a leper colony,
I think a wooden clothespin would have been much better company,
Ass like a donkey acting funky gave her "L" now she's a flunky,
So my love for her died quicker than a batch of Sea Monkeys,
Early bird gets the worm spread your legs or spread the word,
So what if I'm not the smartest peanut in the turd,
I'm white which goes with everything but I can come in any color,
And I'm looking for the kind of girl that reminds me of my mother,
But it's hard to find a girl with a viper tattooed on her tushy,
And how many girls do you know that can play the harmonica with their pussies?
Like em' easy and hot and sweet like a Rice Krispie Treat, gee,
You know what I really want in a girl? Me,
I need to find a new vagina,
Any kind of new vagina,
It's hard to rhyme a word like vagina,
Calvin Klein? Kind of North Carolina,
Women are like dog, doo, hear me through don't interrupt,
It's just the older that they are the easier they get to pick-up,
I'd fill the generation gap clean the cobwebs from her rafters,
Old hens would rather put out than be put out to the pasture,
No age just ain't a gauge I like my girls like my cheese,
Preferably for me fat-free American singles only,
I want my next chick anorexic, the winner is the thinner,
Won't have to take her skinny ass out to a fancy dinner,
Like Sizzler she got a beef we'll chew the fat,
If I forget to put the seat up I can put up with her crap,
Let her lash out and crack the whip but not in bed I don't play rough,
No I can't be tied down with a girl that wants me tied up,
Just independent like NOFX ,smart like Janeane Garafolo,
She'd use big words to make fun of me so that I would never know,
Bestow upon me all her wisdom of the Dewey Decimal System, gee,
You know what I really want in a girl? Me,
I need to find a new vagina,
Any kind of new vagina,
It's hard to rhyme a word like vagina,
Kevin Klein? Kind of South Carolina,
Vagina vagina vagina vagina,
We are "cop rock" we are screech
We are z. cavaricci
We are laser removed
Tasmanian devil tattoos
We are third string we are puck
We are special people's club
We are the half shirts with
Irreverent spring break top ten lists
We are munsoned we are squat
We are flashing twelve o'clock
We are spread out butt cheeks
Pulled apart so just the air leaks
We are "ishtar" we are tab
We are no right turn on red
We are the moustaches
The beatles grew when they dropped acid
You are the heart dotting "i"
In the word "apologize"
Scribbled drunk on a postcard
Sent from somewhere volcanoes are
I am the heart with no name
Airbrushed on the license plate
Of a subaru that was
Registered in pennsylvania
We are zima we are barf
We are cinderblock yard art
We are baldwin brothers
Not the good one but the others
We are amway we are shemp
We are sir david of brent
We are the queef after
A porn star breaks the gang bang record
You are the heart dotting "i"
In the word "apologize"
Scribbled drunk on a postcard
Sent from somewhere volcanoes are
I am the heart with no name
Airbrushed on the license plate
Of a subaru that was
Registered in pennsylvania
Do you even know what a wawa is girl?
Do you even know what a wawa is?
Do you even know what a wawa is girl?
Do you even know what a wawa is?
Dear Chasey Lain
I wrote to explain
I'm your biggest fan
I just wanted to ask
Could I eat your ass?
Write back as soon as you can
You've had a lotta dick
Had a lotta dick
I've had a lotta time
Had a lotta time
You've had a lotta dick Chasey
But you ain't had mine
Dear Chasey Lain
I wrote to complain
Ya never wrote me back
How could I ever eat
Your ass when ya treat
Your biggest fan like that?
You've had a lotta dick
Had a lotta dick
I've had a lotta time
Had a lotta time
You've had a lotta dick Chasey
But you ain't had mine
Dear Chasey Lain
I wrote to constrain
This letter is my last
As your biggest fan
I must demand
You let me eat your ass
You've had a lotta dick
Had a lotta dick
I've had a lotta time
Had a lotta time
You've had a lotta dick Chasey
But you ain't had mine
P.S.
Mom and Dad this is Chasey
Chasey this is my mom and dad
Now show 'em them titties
Now show 'em them titties
P.S.
Mom and Dad this is Chasey
Chasey this is my mom and dad
Now show 'em them titties
Now show 'em them titties
Here are the 10 coolest things about New Jersey
Hit it boys, get away from me, can't you see
I'm just losing you, aren't you just on your own?
The new things
10, shit, 9, fuck, 8, cunt and 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, bitches
Almost the end of the song
Go, go, go, go crash bitches hell you made us stop
The song let's start again up, down the Jersey continues
Still alone, off the bar, locked in a cage alone in the 10 10
(10 10)
Eminem's gotta cuss in his raps to sell records, well me too, so fuck Will Smith!
That don't rhyme.
Eventide rise for ritual
With the thrill of a kill vengefully the engine will
Roar forth steer the dead leave forced
Driven by fear shift gears veer towards
The foolishly equipped swift these
Failed bids breathed taillights from the crypt
Reflect upon the way beyond redemption
Let the necronometer beckon for the destined
Blessed when first lent sin then condemned to bear the burden
Of this curse the consequence of which can never be averted
Each tormented attempt that is made in vain
To evade this debt which is certain to be paid
Without question is met with a counterclocked surge
In reverse as if backmasked words of the black mass were
All heard by a clutch engaged
Over trails blazed to the western gates
Heaven may be running on empty yet the devil rides
Heaven may be running on empty yet the devil rides
Heaven may be running on empty yet the devil rides
Hell burns by angel turns her pillow to the cooler side
Something diabolical
Idle hands are bound for the
Damned once sam went down to georgia
Speed was forged of the divine salt
Mined from the vaults of flame by the lost
Named as those sought as faults rests beneath
The wrong that was spawned from the tired screech
Of essence halted engulfed in the scent of exhaustion
A false witness with the sensed end is brought
To bended knees when abandoned belief in
The mephistophelian plea for wicked unleashed sends
Heed to reap grim an infernally decreed
Reposession vested in the fallen creed called on to retrieve
Meed with the fueled intention of deprived intervention
The thundered calm that comes from the rattle of descension
Numbs the panicked from a havoc that reeks of oil
Barreling down this mortal coil
Heaven may be running on empty yet the devil rides
Heaven may be running on empty yet the devil rides
Heaven may be running on empty yet the devil rides
Hell burns by angel turns her pillow to the cooler side
Something diabolical
Tonight belongs to him
Tonight belongs to him
Tonight belongs to him
Tonight belongs to him
To him
To him
Take good, take bad, take gold
And may you have facts of life
The facts of life
Now the world don't move
To the beat of just one drum
What might not for you
Might not for some
Different Strokes, Different Strokes
Different Strokes to the world
Yeah
The First Time I Saw You Darling I Knew I Was In Love
Tell Her Daddy
The Way You Took Your Wheelchair Up That Handicap Ramp
Mmm, It's A Mind Blower
But Now Baby I Miss Ya I Miss Ya
I Miss All The Times We Played Marco Polo In The Pool
Oh Yeah
Hide And Go Seek Beneath The Sheets
Oh Yeah
And Just The Smell Of The Oil In Your Wheelchair
I Remember The Day I Saw You Hobbling
A Weeble Wobbling You Had A Problem
You Didn't Have Any Legs Just A Smile And Some Stumps
No Smelly Feet A Torso To Hump
No Baby Love Yeah That's What We'd Be Making
Ride You Like A Sit And Spin Until Your Stumps Started Aching
Spin You Around Yeah Roll You Nearyeah
Turn You Upside Down To Hold My Beer
You Ain't Got No Legs But I Love You Just The Same Oh Baby
You Ain't Got No Legs But I Love You Just The Same
They Say Nothing Beats A Great Pair Of Legs But Somehow
Baby The Day You Walked Out Of My Life There's Nothing
I Wanted More Than, Than For You To Come Crawling Back To Me
When We Started Going Together People Said They Couldn't Believe It
That I Could Be So Happy With A Quadriplegic
We Would Wake Up Real Early And You Could Make Me Some Eggs Mmm
Girl I Didn't Care If You Ain't Got No Legs
I Loved You For You And You Loved Me For Me Oh Yeah
Wasn't Really Hard For Those More Fortunate To See
That The First Time We Made Love It Was Such A Wonderful Feeling
The Way The Suspension Wires Held You 'Cross The Ceiling
When You Rolled Out Of My Life
My Heart Just Broke
I Can Still Hear The Noise Of The Squeaks In Your Spokes
You Ain't Got No Legs But I Love You Just The Same Oh Baby
Nothing heats up my Jucuzzi but like
When there is one found there that's dazzled with gems,
Brushes ever so gently against some boobs.
I guess it's hard to believe that one man
Could have a pony tail the sensitive end.
Distracted a personal whore that's cornered you,
I know my heiused are freakin intense,
But even the words are made up of some French,
Don't express my feelings for your toilet parts.
I will show up for a pottery class,
Dressed like a pirate with a Jomona's moustache,
On a unicorn that shit's your name in stars
Fucking school but gym is a romantic type,
Loitering on cliffs thinking about stuff like,
Screwing you on the beach at night.
Fucking school but gym is a romantic type,
Loitering on cliffs thinking about stuff like,
Screwing you on the beach at night.
One Milkshake,
Two Straws,
Fucking school but gym is a romantic type,
Loitering on cliffs thinking about stuff like,
Screwing you on the beach at night.
Fucking school but gym is a romantic type,
Loitering on cliffs thinking about stuff like,
Screwing you on the beach at night.
Your life,
Some sell
Sexy
Echo
Your life,
Some sell,
Sexy
Echo,
: Hello Frank,
Hello mother dear,
Hi, what are you doin'?,
I'm trying to think of words that rhyme with vagina,
lima? Like lima beans,
How about that, that teenage witch, Sabina?,
No, that's a made up-word, Jim, what if you change the word vagina to something else,
Like box or pussy or cunt,
Why try? I'm that guy
Holden Caulfield from "Catcher In The Rye"
Put away 'cause he wasn't all there
Like a jigsaw puzzle you might compare
Me to him not a liver but wurst
Been much better off as a still birth
Big let down unparalleled
Like the last episode of "Seinfeld"
Or Jack Lemmon in "Glengarry Glen Ross"
Pepsi Challenge took it lost
Just fizzed out with my wires crossed
Buttons pushed but never went off
Like Martha I will self-destruct
The name's Dunnstock it's not Dumptruck
Just cursed as fuck with no such luck
My future plans include not much
Never gonna be never gonna be never gonna never gonna be
Nothin' more than me
Never gonna be never gonna be never gonna never gonna be
Nothin' more than me
Never gonna be never gonna be never gonna never gonna be
Nothin' more than me
Always gonna be always gonna be always gonna always gonna be
Most likely to suck
Wanna be a Ghostbuster
First black President, owner of "Hustler"
Got shot down like Larry Flynt
Felt like shit like a bowel movement
Have you seen my will to live?
Because I seem to have lost it
Lovelife? No but Mom thinks I'm handsome
Couldn't get off if I held a pimp for ransom
Feel like Jimmy Stewart no one sees my Harvey
Toxic Shock Syndrome gets more girls than me
Like Pee Wee Herman spermin' I can
See the future in the palm of my hand
Psychic Friends, Network loser
Large phone bill in my very near future
Dealt nothing and bluffing hard
Playing poker with a joker and some Uno cards
Never gonna be never gonna be never gonna never gonna be
Nothin' more than me
Never gonna be never gonna be never gonna never gonna be
Nothin' more than me
Never gonna be never gonna be never gonna never gonna be
Nothin' more than me
Always gonna be always gonna be always gonna always gonna be
Most likely to suck
Most likely to suck
Most likely to suck
Most likely to suck
Most likely to suck
Lift your head up high and blow your brains out!
Do you still go to raves?,
Do you think that Christ saves?,
Do you spend your days in a Purple Haze?,
Do you contemplate what a grape nut is?,
Or could you live drinkin' your own whiz?,
Are you hooked on a feeling are you hooked on gin-n-tonics?,
Are you hooked on fistin are you hooked on phonics?,
Did you ever have sex with a box of Kleenex?,
Did you like the movie Malcolm X?,
Or do you own a record by Stryper?,
Do you have a mongoloid cousin wearin' diapers?,
Were you born and raised in New Jersey?,
Did you like the taste of Crystal Pepsi?,
Are you deaf?,
Well if you are you can't hear me,
But what's the use of living if your ear's be?,
Broken even if I spoke clearly,
You're still not able to hear me,
Cause life is a game that no one wins,
But you deserve a headstart the way your life's goin',
So throw in the towel cause your life ain't shit,
No take that towel and hang yourself with it,
Life's short and hard like a body-building elf,
So save the planet and kill yourself,
If you're feeling down-and-out with what your life's all about,
Lift your head up and blow your brains out,
Lift your head up high and blow your brains out,
Lift your head up high and blow your brains out,
Lift your head up high and blow your brains out.
Does your girlfriend look like the chick from M*A*S*H?,
Dead ringer for Klinger with a thicker mustache?,
When you're at a get-together does everybody always ask?,
Ain't no Halloween party why's she wearin' that mask?,
Does she got more Chins than the Chinese phone book?,
Would you rather make out with a rusty fish hook?,
Does she stick to linoleum when she squats?,
Does she look pregnant although she's not?,
Did you first see your boyfriend on Cops?,
Or at a Star Trek convention or on top?,
Of your best friend or maybe at Wendy's?,
Workin' third shift late New Years' Eve?,
Does he live under a bridge scare kids and kill squirrels?,
Does he do kegstands until he hurls?,
Could a blind man mistake his complexion for Braille,
Does he have time to sit around and wait for the mail,
Life is a game that no one wins,
But you deserve a headstart the way your life's goin',
So throw in the towel cause your life ain't shit,
No take that towel and hang yourself with it,
Life's short and hard like a body-building elf,
So save the planet and kill yourself,
If you're feeling down-and-out with what your life's all about,
Lift your head up and blow your brains out,
Lift your head up high and blow your brains out,
Lift your head up high and blow your brains out,
Lift your head up high and blow your brains out.
So take your life instead of taking it for granted,
I'm thinking you should can it I think I'll help you plan it,
Live today like it's gonna be your last,
Hang out blow your mind have yourself a gas,
I hope you take this the wrong way,
And misinterpret what I say,
Rewind and let me reverse,
Backwards like Judas Preist first did.
Cause life is a game that no one wins,
But you deserve a headstart the way your life's goin',
So throw in the towel cause your life ain't shit,
No take that towel and hang yourself with it,
Life's short and hard like a body-building elf,
So save the planet and kill yourself,
If you're feeling down-and-out with what your life's all about,
Lift your head up and blow your brains out,
Lift your head up high and blow your brains out,
Lift your head up high and blow your brains out,
You came twice last year like a Sears catalog,
Cause your last boyfriend makes love like Boss Hogg,
Well now you're seeing me but soon I'll have you seeing God,
Cause girl I'll get you panting like you're Pavlov's dog,
Like a DC-10: guaranteed to go down,
But baby your black box is the one that I found,
I'll give you the gift that keeps on givin' it won't cost you any money,
Then she grabbed me by the ears and said kiss me where it smells funny.
So down I go like I'm 2000 Flushes,
I can tell I'm doing something right by the way that she blushes,
She's one that's speechless, I'm the one that's tongue tied,
She's thinking holy mackerel I'm thinking tuna on the side,
There must be something wrong with Al Pacino's nose,
Cause the scent of a woman is like rotten tomatoes,
Yeah I'm snorkeling for clams and it doesn't matter if I wanna be,
Don't come up for air until you kiss me where it smells funny.
Drop my face below her waist and stay on third base,
I can tell that the cherry's ripe by the way it tastes,
Yeah I could make a lot of wine with the yeast I find inside her panties,
And then drink it while eating out down at the Seafood Shanty,
Drop my face below her waist and stay on third base,
I can tell that the cherry's ripe by the way it tastes,
Yeah I could make a lot of wine with the yeast I find inside her panties,
This beat is my recital
I think it's very vital
To rock a rhyme
That's right on time
It's tricky tricky yo here we go
It's tricky to rock a rhyme
To rock a rhyme that's right on time
It's tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky
It's tricky to rock a rhyme
To rock a rhyme that's right on time
It's tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky
I met this little girlie, her hair was kind of curly
Went to her house to bust her out, I had to leave real early
These girls are really sleazy, all they just say is please me
Or spend some time and rock a rhyme, I said it's not that easy
It's tricky to rock a rhyme
To rock a rhyme that's right on time
It's tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky
It's tricky to rock a rhyme
To rock a rhyme that's right on time
It's tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky
In New York the people talk and try to make us rhyme
They really hawk, but we just walk, because we have no time
And in the city it's a pity, 'cause we just can't hide
Tinted windows don't mean nothing, they know who's inside
It's tricky to rock a rhyme
To rock a rhyme that's right on time
It's tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky
It's tricky to rock a rhyme
To rock a rhyme that's right on time
It's tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky
When I wake up people take up mostly all of my time
I'm not singing, phone keep ringing so I make up a rhyme
I'm not bragging, people nagging, 'cause they think I'm a star
Always tearing what I'm wearing, I think they're going too far
A girl named Tara follows Jared every gig we play
Evil dissed her and dismissed her, now she's jocking Spanky
I ain't lying, girls be crying, 'cause we're on TV
They even bother my poor father, 'cause he's down with me
It's tricky to rock a rhyme
To rock a rhyme that's right on time
It's tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky
It's tricky to rock a rhyme
To rock a rhyme that's right on time
It's tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky
We are not dumb, we don't use drugs, but you assume on your own
They offer coke and lots of dope, but we just leave it alone
It's like that y'all, but we don't quit
It always sucks refolding the kind of map
Needed when I get stuck where the sun don't shine the fact
Is if I just shut up my rubbered stamp could flag you as dumb
It ain't your mind you're givin' me a piece of
As it don't take Einstein to know that's just obscene but
It's been Buck Rogers' time since I hit other than rock bottom
Even the odds of having you against me
With your crotchless jihad on blue balls evidently
Are all mighty good God so angel dust my soul like James Brown
Street legal whore hauling so much stunning ass
Sell yourself short like bridge at the bunny ranch
Do it all fours the satisfaction of getting fouled
I'm the least you could do
If only life were as easy as you
I'm the least you could do, oh yeah
If only life were as easy as you
I would still get screwed
I don't care if getting under someone that's
Beneath you fits the M.O. of conundrum as
You reckoned this was just a fancy word for rubbers
I aim to get a bang out of working your
Weak spot that sets the bar so low just nerve can score
With no respect since oddly danger feels like pay dirt
I'm the least you could do
If only life were as easy as you
I'm the least you could do, oh yeah
If only life were as easy as you
I'm the least you could do
If only life were as easy as you
I'm the least you could do, oh yeah
If only life were as easy as you
If only
When my fumbling breaks you should
I thank your dad for the damaged goods?
When my fumbling breaks you should
I thank your dad for the damaged goods?
When my fumbling breaks you should
I thank your dad for the damaged goods?
When my fumbling breaks you should
Step Back Cause The Bass Is Fuzzin'
Bloodhound Gang Bangs More Than The Dirty Dozen
Alley Oop Here Comes The Slam You Know Where I Stand
I'm Feelin' Like Anthrax Cause You Know I'm The Man
Yea I Dug Your Dame But All I Did Was Kiss Her
But I Got To Second Base With Your Mom And Your Sister
I'll Wipe The Grin Off Your Face Like I Was A Can Of Windex
I Threw A Right I Threw A Right Was It Live Or Memorex
Go Down Down Deep Deep In And Out Quick
Cause I'm Harder Than Chinese Arithmetic
My Fist Is In Your Face Cause You Stood In My Way
You Tried To Talk Your Shit And Your Ass Got Paid
I Get Stupid Like The Mongoloid Corky
Welcome To McDonald's May I Take Your Order
Cause I'm Cold Kicken' Lyrics Like My Arm Was On Fire
Like Pinnochio My Nose Don't Grow Cause I Ain't No Liar
Go Down Go Down To Get It Up Get It Up
Go Down Go Down To Get It Up Y'all
Clap It On Clap It Off Sniff My Exhaust
Cause I Got More Steps Than Barishnikov
Like A Pirouette, A Pirouette, A Pair Of Wet Jeans
You Don't Understand But Your Girl Knows What I Mean
So I Kicks My Rhymes Kind Of Complex
A Text Of Intricate Words And Other Spoken Effects
Like A Preacher On The Mount Teaching Things He Doesn't Follow
When You Tried To Hit The Brake But Pushed On The Throttle
Mr. Goody Two Shoes Picture The Scenario
Your Girl Blew Me As I Blew Your Stereo
And I Gots More Bass Than A Baseball Diamond
Don't Put Me On Your Chalkboard Cause I'm Not Down With Simon
Sonic Boom In Your Room Assume Your Not There
Booty Licken' Nugget Picken' With Your Dad Downstairs
Love Is Just A Fallacy I Gots More Force Than Gravity
I Can Run All Night Like An Energizer Battery
Go Down Go Down To Get It Up Get It Up
Ha ha, well now, we call this the act of mating
But there are several other very important differences
Between human beings and animals that you should know about
I'd appreciate your input
Sweat baby, sweat baby
Sex is a Texas drought me
And you do the kind of stuff
That only Prince would sing about
So put your hands down my pants
And I'll bet you'll feel nuts
Yes, I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert
And you're getting two thumbs up
You've had enough of two hand touch
You want it rough, you're out of bounds
I want to you smothered, want you covered
Like my waffle house, hash, browns
Comin' quicker than Fed Ex
Never reaching apex like Coca Cola stock
You are inclined to make me rise an hour early
Just like daylight savings time
You and me baby, ain?t nothin? but mammals
So let?s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
You and me baby, ain?t nothin? but mammals
So let?s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Love, the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket
Like the lost catacombs of Egypt
Only God knows where we stuck it
Hieroglyphics
Let me be specific
I wanna be down in your south seas
But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean
Means small craft advisory
So if I capsize on your thighs, high tide
B 5, you sunk my battleship
Please turn me on
I?m Mr.Cofee with an automatic drip
So show me yours, I?ll show you mine
Tool time, you?ll love it just like Lyle
And then we?ll do it doggy style
So we can both watch X-files
You and me baby, ain?t nothin? but mammals
So let?s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
You and me baby, ain?t nothin? but mammals
So let?s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
You and me baby, ain?t nothin? but mammals
So let?s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
You and me baby, ain?t nothin? but mammals
So let?s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
You and me baby, ain?t nothin? but mammals
So let?s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
You and me baby, ain?t nothin? but mammals
Stop as we drop this bomb
Blow up this place like another Vietnam
Heavy like a Tyson blow to the dome
Back up son give me room give me room
To set it off like this don't give it up
I'm all up in you till you just can't get enough
Real hard to the bone you want more
I sneak up on you like a sniper at your back door
Phat flavor for your brain you know the time
So check the wrath it's for real I'm gonna get mine
Roll up on you like Eastwood
Blowing up fifteens as I'm riding through your neighborhood
I spreads butter like Parkay
Real smooth with flow and even when I parlay
Do what you feel and check the skill
I'm in your grill peep this I got the raw deal
I'm in your Jeep Grand Cherokee or Land Cruiser
When you're rolling through the hood you want to use a
Track like this all up in your eardrum
So check the E.Q. and let them speakers hum
And gets crazy like Prozac
Hype enough to start a party and illy as a heart attack
Round one round two knockout
Straight to your head my round never lights out
Tah rah tah rah tah rah boom dee
Tah rah tah rah tah rah boom dee a
Jimmy Jimmy y'all Jimmy damn Jimmy yea
Gimme the mic Rob so I can take it away
Got more lines than the welfare office
Are you upset you'll never get to be as clever as this?
Spreadin' quicker than your mom have a feel but don't cop it
Yea I stole your beat but that's cause you dropped it
Crude as oil unrefined but slick
I'm gonna get you from behind like a gay convict
Cause my name ain't Quasimodo but I still got a hunch
That like the Jim Jones cult I'll take you out with one punch
You're Spiro Agnew and I'm the Dick you answer to
You're sweating like a watermelon at a Baptist bar-b-cue
Sneaking up like celery yeah I'm stalking
I squeak like Stephen Hawkings yeah but I'm walkin'
Nose to ground so this Bloodhound will sniff and follow it
I hope you choke on your pride when I make you swallow it
Screaming like a Mimi when you see me coming near you
Like a Kenny Loggins' record no one's ever gonna to hear you
Like a game of hide and seek it's all over if I see ya
Cause your yellower than tinkle and you'll be running like diarrhea
Tah rah tah rah tah rah boom dee
Haha
Well now we call this the act of mating but...
There are several other very important differences
Between human beings and animals you should know about
I'd appreciate your input.
Sweat baby sweat baby
Sex is a Texas drought me and you do the kind of stuff that only prince would sing about
So put your hands down my pants and I bet you'll feel nuts
Yes I'm Sisco, Yes I'm Ebert and you're getting two thumbs up
You've had enough of two hand touch
You want it rough you're out of bounds
I want you smothered want you covered
Like my waffle house hash browns
Coming quicker then fed ex
Never reach an apex
Just like coca-cola stock
You are inclined to make me rise an hour early
Just like day light savings time
(Chorus)
Do it now
You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the discovery channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the discovery channel
Getting horny now
Love, the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket
Like the lost catacombs of Egypt
Only god knows where we stuck it
Heiroglyphyics let me be pacific
I wanna be down in your south seas
But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean
Meets small craft advisory
So if I capsize
In your thighs high tide B-5
You sunk my battle ship
Please turn me on I'm Mr. Coffee with an automatic drip
So show me your's I'll show you mine
Tool Time you'll love it just like lao
And then we'll do it doggie-style
So we can both watch x-files
(3x's)
Do it now
You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals
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