Oh, the moon was full
And the color of blood
The night the pirates came
To the Vampire Club
Their leader was tall and snide and slim
He looked like a gay Captain Morgan
Well, he recognized a Vampire
From his school
And he did something that was
Most uncool, he said,
"Hey everybody, see that fool in the cape?"
His name's Bernie Weinstein
And he's in the 8th grade!"
Fangs were flying, capes were torn
Hell hath no fury like a Vampire scorned
The number one rule in this game:
Never call one by his real name
Wigs were pulled, top hats were crushed
By pointy boots in a rush
And Boris at the bar orders a Bud and says,
"It's just another night at the Vampire Club."
Missi lost a fang in the ladies room
And we all laughed and called her 'Snaggletooth!"
And Dee was mad cause he broke his cane
And he flushed his contacts down the drain
There was so much angst after the fight
Vlad and Akasha broke up that night
While some rivet-heads danced in a puddle of goo
That used to be "Father" you-know-who!
Well, its hard to believe but we're still around
And when we hang out it's upside down
Dressed in black from toe to head singing,
"Bela Lugosi's still undead!"
A gaggle of goths is a peaceful site
We'd do anything to avoid a fight
But if you really want to see some gore and blood
Wait 'til the Ravers come to the Vampire Club
I'm the order of the Bat'leth
Son of Kahless
Your family has no honor
But I couldn't care less
I was born to kill Federation swine
And I celebrate with a barrel blood wine
I drink the Raktajino, I eat the gagh
When my homies get to Sto'Vo'Kor I yell "qa'plagh!"
I'm the chief commander on a Bird of Prey
I wake up every morning after owning the day
I'm the MacDad Klingon when I beam on board
I was at the signing of the Khitomer Accord
I never sweat about a Romulan dude
He's just a limp-wristed Vulcan with a bad attitude
And they're sly and they were telling lies
A shout out to Martok who lost an eye
To the dominion, and the Jem'Hadar minions
I'm on them like a transwarp engine
Fear my snarl hear my speach
Watch me blow like a warpcore breach
I'm not a lowly white p'tak like that Barclay guy
I don't need a holodeck to get a parma'kai
When the ladies see the beast I got between my thighs
They say "Perhaps today is a good day to die"
I hit Ezri ,Troi, Jadzia too
Watch out Janeway I'm coming for you
Cause I'm the MacDad Klingon with the humaniod bitches
My head ain't the only part of me that's got ridges
I've got the visions of Qo'noS on my mind
I've got visions of Qo'noS on my mind
I get visions of Cardassia on my mind
And that my boot smells like Gul Dukat's behind
I hate the Tribbles
Those little furry shits
But I love my Klingon bitches
Cause they've got three tits
I got a dagger and a bat'leth in my hand
If you were any other man
I'd kill you where you stand
I killed Captain Kirk
I killed Picard
I bitchslapped Riker like a Klingon Targ
Cause my name is Worf, I'm the son of Mogh
Ex-Federation officer and Klingon rogue
Qa'plagh!!
Where's the girl I fell in love with?
Where'd she go?
Where's that kind and gentel princess
Of my dreams?
Where'd she go?
Why'd she go away?
Where'd she go?
Why'd you take her away from me?
Where's the child who use to play there
In your eyes?
Could it be she still resides there
In disguise?
Everyday I look for a sign
It's all in vain, a colossal waste of time
What have you done to her?
Why have you taken her away?
Where have you buried her?
Hid from the light of day
(So far away from me
So out of reach)
(Does she still live behind your eyes?)
Six feet of earth above my head
keeps me safe from what she says
six walls of wood to keep them out
their smart remarks, the screams the shouts
they scream, they shout
theres only one way to drown them out
I hear your voice I hit the ground
you looked for me but I'm not around
In that small cafe there I wrote it down
I looked for you, you were not around
you're the buring lie that kills my child
he's gone underground
I've gone underground
I've gone underground
I've gone underground
Some come to pay their last respects
or beckon me to come around
they leave dried flowers in the air
or place their feelings on the doorstep
at best they try to understand
and offer plans, most futile plans
here in this darkness I can see
your skin is the closest thing to grace
it dancelike goes upon my fingers
and feelings fly, they're still alive
There's only one way to drown them out
I hear your voice I hit the ground
you looked for me but I'm not around
In that small cafe there I wrote it down
I looked for you, you were not around
you're the buring lie that kills my child
she's gone underground
I've gone underground
I've gone underground
I've gone underground
I've gone underground
I've gone underground
Underground
Six feet of earth above my head
don't keep me safe from what she says
six walls of wood don't keep them out
these frightful screams come from inside
they lay with me here through the night
I was stranded on a planet, Just me and Spock
Ee met a nasty nazi alien who locked our asses up
We found a hunk of crystal and a metal piece of bed
We made a laser phaser gun and shot him in the head
Bust a move, Tog
I was standing on the bridge when Sulu came to me
His eyes were full of tears he said "Captain, can't you see
the ship is gonna blow do something I beseech"
I grabbed a tribble and some chewing gum and stopped the warp core breach
And I say,
Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish
Thats the way we do things, lad, we're making shit up as we wish
The Klingons and the Romulans pose no threat to us
'Cause if we find we're in a bind we just make some shit up
And though he's just a child, and some think him a twit
Wesley is the master when it comes to making up some shit
He's the guy you want with you when you go out in space
Now if only he could beam those pimples off his face
And if you're at a party on the starship Enterprise
And the karaoke player just plain old up and dies
Set up a neutrino field inside a can of peas
Hold on to Geordi's visor and sing into Data's knee
And I say
Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish
Thats the way we do things lad, we're making shit up as we wish
The Klingons and the Romulans pose no threat to us
'Cause if we find we're in a bind we just make some shit up
Sisko's on a mission to go no bloody place
He loiters on a space station above Bajoran space
The wormhole's opened up and now they come from near and far
We'll keep the booze but please send back the fucking Jem-hadar
What is with the Klingons, remember in the day
They looked like Puerto Ricans and they dressed in gold lame
Now they look like heavy metal rockers from the dead
With leather pants and frizzy hair and lobsters on their heads
And I say
Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish
Thats the way we do things lad, we're making shit up as we wish
The Klingons and the Romulans pose no threat to us
'Cause if we find we're in a bind we just make some shit up
Well, I was stuck on Voyager, pounding on the door
When suddently it dawned on me I've seen this show before
Perhaps I'm in a warp bubble and slightly out of phase
'Cause it was way back in the sixties when they called it "Lost in Space"
We were looking for a way to make the ratings soar
So we orchestrated an encounter with the Borg
Normally you'd think that that would get us into shit
But this one has a smashing ass and a lovely set of tits
And I say
Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish
Thats the way we do things lad, we're making shit up as we wish
The Klingons and the Romulans pose no threat to us
'Cause if we find we're in a bind we're totally screwed but nevermind
We'll pull something out of our behinds, we just make some shit up
You know it's true we're both the same.
In a storm of words we get lost in what is said.
You know me and you see through me.
So why are you confused by the things I say and do?
Do you know me?
You see the strain upon my face.
Please, don't rain on my parade.
It comes too light, it comes in waves,
It's gone too late.
It goes astray, it goes too far and you say
It's clear I know where all your buttons are.
It's not so strange, you know, it's not so queer
That I know they're there 'cause I'm the one
Who put them there, exactly as you feared.
I know you and I see though you
So why am I surprised by the things you say and do?
I don't know why.
I see the strain upon your face.
I won't rain on your parade.
It comes too light it comes in waves.
It's gone too late.
Don't steal the smile from off my face.
Please, don't rain on my parade.
It comes too light, it comes in waves,
It's gone too late.
I know that I can't replace you
And it would be a lie to say that I could ever try.
Don't steal the smile from off my face.
Please, don't rain on my parade.
It comes too light, it comes in waves,
It's gone too late.
You see the strain upon my face
Please, don't rain on my parade.
It comes too light, it comes in waves,
It's gone too late.
It's gone too late
It cuts two ways
It cuts two ways
the day is the wife whom i elude
the one to whom I should be right
although forewarned by peers and kin
I always get into the night
mother always warned me such
being a nocturnal soul
besides just being simply strange
spawns from some illness of the mind
the night, she calls me
she calls me, she calls me
she calls me, she calls me
she sways in her velvet dress
and pulls me towards her in the dark
while the others rest
heed the call the time has come
for all you children of the night
gather 'round like suckling dogs
mothers come she is the night
come with me to the other side
make the girl in black your bride
the night, she calls me
she calls me, she calls me
she calls me, she calls me
she sways in her velvet dress
and pulls me towards her in the dark
while the others rest
it just seems very strange to me
not her quiet lonely streets
and draped in all her mystery
could be so sweet and comforting
the night, she calls me
she calls me, she calls me
she calls me, she calls me
she sways in her velvet dress
and pulls me towards her in the dark
while the others rest
Akai ringo ni
Kuchi biru yosette
Dama a te mi te iru
Aoi sora
Ringo wa nani mo
Iwanai keredo
Ringo no kimochi wa
Yoku wakaru
Ringo kawai ya
Kawai ya ringo
Ringo kawai ya
Kawai ya ringo
What do you call it
when another forces your hand
and what will they say
when they find me here this way
and know, no no no it wasn't my idea
no it wasn't my idea
but oh,just to see your face
when you find me here like this
now there's no time for wondering
darkness is now at my door
rapping with bony fingers
he's come to take me home
he'll envelope me in sleep
wrapped in black feathery wings
but before we fly, here's my goodbye
I get the last word
i get the last laugh
as sure as the room is growing cold
I'll have the last word
I'll have the last laugh
as sure as my blood is running cold
they won't call it suicide
because i've got the killer's name
engraved so deeply in my veins
they will call it homocide
because i've got your name
so clearly carved into my wrist
the weak and the lame will find their way
to escape but why should i
leave all this beauty behind
and forfeit the joy in my life
in the name of an enemy
I'll have the last word
I'll have the last laugh
as sure as the room is growing cold
I'll have the last word
I'll have the last laugh
as sure as your blood is running cold
far be it for I to leave all this beauty behind
i will stay to watch you wither away
and with any luck you may be hit by a truck
and i will remain to dance upon your grave
oh, look, can't you see how much your death means to me
please won't you play in a busy street
Far be it for I to leave all this beauty behind
I will remain to dance upon your grave
As above, so below, place your bets
Which way the head will roll
Made in your image we are at least
As twisted and mean as thee
'Fore your eyes, what a curious site
Your children have turned on you
And you say, you don't sleep well at night
Well, we'll take care of that for you
Belle Marie Antoinette
"Love the pearls!"
They'll make a great tourniquet
Never did as you should and you claim
It was all for our veryown good
'Twas a lie, a magnificent lie
Now, your subjects have turned on you
And you claim you had lots on your mind
Well, we'll take care of that for you
:::Chorus:::V
Get that (this) damn thing off her (my) neck
I'm the head of the board now I'm bored of her (my) head
Sharpen up the blade boys, what are you waiting for?
Here's where we all get ahead!
Wipe that damn smile off your face
Or we'll lop it off clean with our new guillotine
Sharpen up the blade boys, what are you waiting for?
Here's where we all get ahead!
(Bells are now tolling, soon heads will be rolling)
:::
All my troubles, all my pain
Stems from this thing that you call a "brain"
Be my guest, sever me from the source
Of all my agony
What a shame, I've forgotten my name
Without the use of my brain and
"My, bet I'll sleep well tonight!"
Without this head of mine
:::Chorues, with the words in parentheses substituting the previous word or phrase:::
Please Sir, for me, Sir,
Won't you see if you see, Sir?
Oh dear, I dread
I seem to have lost my head
I think I left it about
It fell to the ground
And I kicked it around
Has anyone seen, no need to be mean,
My bloody, fat, ugly head?
Please Miss, for me, Sis,
Won't you see if you see, Sis
It's got black hair
And it's kickin' about in the square
I'm really not totally sure but
I think that it might have rolled into the sewer.
Has anyone seen, no need to be mean,
My bloody, fat, ugly head?
We were in the Badlands one day
Chasing B'Elanna and Chakotay
We were whisked into the Delta Quadrant
Fuck, thats far away
I wanna go home
Please let me go home
I say screw the Ocampa
I wanna go home
The Caretaker had an array
That could get us home safe
But Janeway that ignorant slut
She blew it away
I wanna go home
Please let me go home
Drop me off at a wormhole
I wanna go home
So now I'm stuck here for years
In the Delta Quadrant I fear
With the Kazon and Hirogen
And a brother with pointy ears
I wanna go home
Please let me go home
Talaxian chicks are ugly
I wanna go home
So hoist up the aft nacelles
See how the warp core burns
Tell Janeway to go to Hell
I wanna go home
I wanna go home
Please let me go home
I say fuck the Ocampa
Rain soaked soul of mine
It's a gray day year
From ice cold eyes march
A parade of tears
It's hopeless don't it seem
When even in my dreams
You put me through Hell
I've tried everything I could
To make you see the good in me
I'm just sorry that I failed
Keep your empty tears
It's hopeless don't it seem
When even in my dreams
You put me through Hell
And left me this way
It's so obscene
You were so mean
When you meant everything to me
I'll see you in Hell
Just go on this way
And then some day
When you awake
I'll be a thousand miles away
(And you'll be in Hell
Least I hope you will)
(Somewhere near Hell)
He's so aftaid when they scream
When they're mean
She ws the star of a life
That ceased to be
I die in my dreams
It eats me whole, It eats me whole
All this sorrow disappears
When I learn to shake this fear
And let it go
Sue hates irene
She hates Sue
I know you hate me
It's okay, I hate you too
Hate is a beast
It eats me whole, it eats me whole
'Til I take him by the ears,
Turn him 'round, paddle his rear
And let him go
Let it go, let it go, let it go
All this anger dissipates
When I come to shake this hate
And let it go
(Let it go, let it go, let it go,
All this sorrow disappears
when I finally shake this fear
And let it go)
I've been up high and I've been down low
But mostly I've been tired
I'll tell you, the best thing
I ever did was to let it go
You set the snakes loose inside my belly.
They're done with my supper.
They start on my endocrine lining.
You said, "Please, stop your whining!"
This isn't a love song,
I'm through writing those for you.
All the while you claimed,
The ghost in you lives, but it's dead.
It's inside my head,
And all that I know is that it's midnight,
And you haven't called.
Oh, when you sigh, and you cry.
I figure you probably lie and I'm here waiting
And all that I know is that it's midnight,
And you haven't called.
All that I see is that it's midnight,
And you haven't called.
All that I know is I'm left with frustration,
And this hyperactive imagination of mine.
I would love to lay all my faith in you.
Why can't I let fate have its way with me?
I would love to but... (place all my trust in you)
(why can't I? 'cause...)
It's over, it's over, it's over (again)
You say you're at Mother's, but do you mean lovers?
Are you in the amorous arms of another?
It chills every bone in me, straight to the core of me.
Your girlfriend concurs with you, is she your alibi?
How did you get that sweet little girl to lie?
Meanwhile I'm here waiting.
This isn't a love song.
Hevenu shalom alechem
Hevenu shalom alechem
Hevenu shalom alechem
Hevenu shalom alechem
Hevenu shalom alechem
Hevenu shalom alechem
Hevenu shalom shalom alechem shalom
Hevenu shalom shalom alechem shalom
Hevenu shalom alechem
Hevenu shalom alechem
Hevenu shalom alechem
Last night a moth came to my bed,
And filled my tired weary head,
With horrid tales of you,
I can't believe it's true.
But then the lamp shade smiled at me,
And it said, "Believe," it said, "believe."
I want you to know it's nothing personal
First time I had sex I was three.
First time consenting was thirteen.
Though you weren't there you remind,
Me of those hands.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
If I'm schizophrenic, then I am too!
Whatever it takes to escape.
I hope you understand,
Why I'm forced to take your life in my hands.
I want you to know it's nothing personal.
And though we've never met,
I've seen your image in a million waking dreams.
Your eyes they call to me, "Set me free."
Did I ever tell you? You look like my mother.
She once left me in a supermarket.
I promised myself that I'd never feel that way again.
Did I ever tell you? You look like my dear old mother.
I hope you understand,
Why I'm forced to take my life in your name.
I want you to know it's nothing all the same.
And though we've never met,
I've seen your image in a million waking dreams.
Your eyes they call to me, "Set me free."
Is it so wrong if i don't pay my rent?
No! Responsibility, I gave it up for lent
Sell your wares, pollute the air
I don't care
Fresh air's for squares
Now if it were up to me
The piper would be up the creek
and the fiddler too
'Cuase neither one of you would be paid
I need the cash for getting laid ;P
And i don't mind
To seem unusually unkind
You ask what kind of guy am I
I'm a friend of the irresponsible fools
Who don't have time for rules
The irresponsible who wouldn't
be caught dead in a school
I'm irresponsible
I'm Mr. Irresponsible
I'm irresponsible, and I don't care
If the whole wold burns
(Let it burn)
I live my life without a care
I don't have time to be
Politically aware
I hate to have to think
I hate feeling too
I'll leave those chores to some
Pathetic sap like you
Don't talk to me about the
Dolphin in the tuna net
I'm on the tuna's side
Hey, dolphin tastes quite good i bet
I'd never lie, my hair requires aerosol
I want it ten feet tall
And I don't care about the hole in the sky
If Rogue don't mind, why should I?
It just so happens I'm that kind of guy
It's a bloody miracle that I haven't gotten
Distracted by a skirt and got bored
And just walked away
Before the end of this God forsaken tune
Life has a way of making you humble
Day after day it's bringing you to your knees
all's okay, then everything crumbles
And all that you perceive is blowing away
But while I'm tearing at the seams
I'll apologize to anything
I'm sorry....
All's black and white when you're just a baby
You get some hair on your chin
you think you know everything
Years go by then everything's "maybe"
and all that you believe
Drowns in a sea of gray
But while I'm tearing at the seams
I'll apologize to anything
I'm sorry, I'm selfish
Im sorry, i behave this way
I'm sorry, couldn't help it
I'm sorry that you lost your faith in me
(I'm sorry that you lost your faith
I'm sorry that it rains
I'm sorry I ever came
I'm sorry, I'm sorry)
God thinks all blacks are obsolete farm eqipment
God thinks the Jews killed his son and must be punished
God thinks the white man is Satan
God, they know what God thinks
God thinks we should all convert to Judaism
God thinks we must all be Christians and
God thinks we should all embrace Islam
God thinks the only true religion is Hinduism
And I
I know what God thinks
God thinks you're a waste of flesh
God prefers an Atheist
God thinks all people like you are evil
God thinks all people like you are an embarassment to creation
self-righteous, judgemental, first to throw the stone
and use His name for your own protection
God thinks the sun revolves around the Earth
God thinks there was something very wrong with Copernicus
God thinks abortion is murder and
God thinks everything that science gave us is wrong
God thinks women deserve it
God thinks AIDS is a form of punishment
I hate people who blame the Devil for their own shortcomings and
I hate people who thank God when things go right
And I
I know what God thinks
God thinks you're an idiot
God prefers a heretic
God God
God thinks all people like you are evil
God thinks all people like you are an embarassment to creation
self-righteous, judgemental, first to throw the stone
and use His name for your own agenda
God is a liberal
God is a democrat
God wants you to vote republican
never trust a man who puts his words in the mouth of god
and says that it's absolute truth
its lies and it smells like death
its all in a day's work taking money from the poor
Why do you think that God would need your dirty money
if he wanted to start a holy war?
self-righteous, judgemental, first to throw the stone
and use His name for your own protection
God thinks puppies need to die and
God thinks babies need to drown
'cause God is neither good nor bad
God is you and me
God is Everything
Hello cruel world
Did I keep you long?
You've waited so patiently
To torture my soul
To ruin my life
My anguish, your ecstasy
And I've compalianed
But it's to no avail
I've complained
Day after day
Good morning cruel world
did you sleep well last night
were you dreaming of all the ways
to torture my soul
to ruin my life?
this anguish day after day
Good bye cruel world
It's time to go
Who's leaving though?
Oh, not me!
I'm tugging the sails
I'm turning the tide
Your angush, my ecstasy
And you'll complain
But it's to no avail
You'll complain
Again and again and
Again and again
You're stuck with me
Stuck with me, stuck with me
Three heavy stones will keep it from floating,
weigh it down to the bottom, food for the fishes.
And i know that it won't be discovered
'cause i will be careful, so very careful.
What if it doesn't rain for days and the river is
reduced to its muddy bed?
With a corpse exposed i would work in haste
and i might bury the bones in a shallow grave.
And the ran comes and moves rocks and the stones
washes away all the dirt and the mudflows
Bones are exposed and well.
you know how that goes!
i wait for the day when i finally defile
the bodies of my x lover's lovers.
i'll pile high to the sky
the bodies of my x lover's lovers
Die die die die die die
die die die die die die die
watch them die.
i saw you with him. You looked so happy.
All of that can change, cause i am so lonely
and i have lots of time to send you straight
to the Devil. i'm taking my time
to plan your demise.
What if i were to cut you up and mail each part
to a different town? It would take the most
brilliant private eye the rest of his life
just to put you together.
a piece in each mailbox all over the planet
from Moscow to Tokyo to Guadalajara.
i saw you with him, you looked so happy.
That will never change because i know myself
too well. i don't have the courage
to cary out my dreams
And only there will i see them
Die
Un barquito de cscara de nuez
adornado con hojas de papel
subiendo y bajando las olas
el barquito ya se fue
Navegar sin temor en el mar es lo mejor
no hay razon por ponerse a temblar
y si viene negra tempestad
reid remad y cantad
Navegar sin temor en el mar es lo mejor
y si el cielo nos da muy azul
el barquito va contento
por los mares lejanos del sur (x2)
I break the silence with my voice
and everyone turns around
to see the source of all the noise
and here i stand
its not as thought i mean to upset you
with the things i say and do
i should know better but i said so anyway
its easier to play a part
and read your lines
than freely speak what's
in your heart and in your mind
Is it me?
who says these things that so offend you?
Innapropriate ???
i'd say I'm sorry
but it's hard to speak
with both feet in your mouth
all hail the king of dunces
You best hold on
I'm opening up my mouth
bring out the maypole
and tie up and shut me out
devil knows what possessed me
to shoot my arrow straight into the sky
string me to the mast and
hoist me up and hang me high
i put no blame on you
i brought this all upon myself
it's just this thing i do
at times like this
i wish i was someone else
there's a lever inside head
between my mouth and my brain
keeps me from hearing
what i've said until its too late
now it's too late
smear my lips with vaseline
because i'm a vocal libertine
I try to explain but even
i'm not quite sure what i mean
all hail the king of dunces
You best hold on
I'm opening up my mouth
bring out the maypole
and tie up and shut me out
devil knows what possessed me
to shoot my arrow straight into the sky
string me to the mast and
hoist me up and hang me high
i put no blame on you
i brought this all upon myself
it's just this thing i do
at times like this
i wish i was someone else
I don't know what to say
i was only trying to make you smile
and bring some needed levity
to your world for a while
i never meant to make you cry
but i did it all by myself
its just this thing i do
at times like this
i wish i was someone else
All hail the king of dunces...
All hail the king of fools
This boy's been bad
let's keep him after school
send me to the blackboard
and write a hundred times "i am the dunce"
devil knows what possessed me
to shut my mind and open up my mouth
string me to the anchor
and watch me drown in myself
I have been in this line of work for a long time
And I have never seen anything so strange its so peculiar
see for yourself
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury
step right up and view the freak
we caught him red handed down by the morgue
where he sleeps
and if you think that that's disgusting
wait til you hear this
I never can do it justice
So hear it in his own words
Dead girls like me
Dead girls like me
Can't you see?
I don't expect you to understand me
I am not an ordinary man
and I have seen things with these eyes
you'd never comprehend
see for yourself now
take those living women
they have never shown me any kindness of any kind
its not my fault I look this way
I try to talk to them
they look at me and walk away
so really is it so strange that
dead girls like me
can't you see?
only dead girls like me
oh, dead girls like me
can't you see?
only dead girls don't walk away from me
sad as it seems
have you ever tasted love like this?
cool and smooth have you ever been accepted unconditionally?
have you ever loved someone who didn't hurt you, didn't harm you?
There's no pain and there's no pressure
no pro-humiliation
there's no fear and there's no shame
there's no pulse now is it so strange?
dead girls like me
can't you see?
only dead girls like me
oh, dead girls like me
can't you see?
only dead girls don't walk away from me
Well hello there little boy.
Now don't be shy.
Step right up, I'm a reasonable guy.
Don't be frightened by the look in my eye.
I'm just your average evil meteor from outta the sky.
Well, I'm just shy and scared in this place
I'm just a fish outta water from outer space
You can see that the trip has left me tired and drained
So why don't you be a pal...
And bring me some BRAINS!
Go down to your neighbor's place
See the dull expression on his face
you'd be doing him a favor if you brought him to me
He aint using his brain he's just watching TV!
Go down to Mr. McGee's
He hasn't had a thought since '43.
His brain is the portrait of atrophy.
He ain't using it, why not give it to me?
BRAINS, BRAINS, I won't lie,
I'll eat their brains 'til they're zombified.
Sure they might think it's deranged
But they won't give it a thought
After I've eaten they're brain.
BRAINS, BRAINS, It's okay.
It's not a matter if it isn't gray,
And if at first they thinks it's strange,
they won't think twice
If they don't have a brain!
Go down to the Wonton shop,
My fortune cookie says that I just can't stop
I'll suck the noodle right out of their heads
And half an hours later, I'm hungry again!
Creep into the donut stop
Sneak in, tip-toe past the cop.
Pick me up a cruller and a cupful of tea.
And any other sweetbreads you happen to see.
BRAINS, BRAINS, I won't lie,
I'll eat their brains 'til they're zombified.
Sure they might think it's deranged
But they won't give it a thought
After I've eaten they're brain.
BRAINS, BRAINS, It's okay.
It's not a matter if it isn't gray,
And if at first they thinks it's strange,
they won't think twice
If they don't have a brain!
Brains, Brains, I love em, I need um...
My tummy jumps for joy when I eat um.
Big ones, fat ones, short ones, tall ones,
They're so delectable, especially the small ones.
No time to cook em in a skillet.
My belly's rumblin', I got a need to fill it.
I don't fry em, the heat will only shrink em,
i'll just grab my self a straw and I drink em!(ohhhhhhh...)
You've been swell to go around
And bring me every single brain in town
But with all these brains, I can't help but think
That there isn't one left out there to drink.
Now Fess up boy, come on, Heck!
Is there someone that you're trying to protect?
Bring her down here to meet her end
And i promise I'll be your bestest friend.
BRAINS, BRAINS, I won't lie,
I'll eat her brains 'til she's zombified.
Sure she might think it's deranged
But she won't give it a thought
After I've eaten her brain.
BRAINS, BRAINS, It's okay.
It's not a matter if it isn't gray,
And if at first she thinks it's strange,
she won't think twice
If she don't have a brain!
BRAINS...
Bring me her Brain...
BRING ME HER BRAIN! x2
There's a field of flowers and they smell like you
and i go walking through them when i feel you near me
you know I'd love to pick one for my lapel
but you know there are too many insects watching
I'm afraid they'd tell on me
and here the skies are neither day
nor night, in this place
where i close my eyes
its like my skin would try so hard to hold it back
there's an explosion it comes raining down
there's a smile you smiled at me
Anastasia your disappearance is the thorn in my side
Anastasia you know your absence is the thorn in my side
I think about you every night
and every day every moment since you left here
you were the one that got away as they say
everyone has an Anastasia
Your disappearance is the thorn in my side
Anastasia You know your absence is the thorn in my side
I kept your room just as you left it
There's not a toy out of place
Just in case the fates are kind and you come back someday
I don't want to live without my little Anastasia
Anastasia your disappearance is the thorn in my side
Anastasia you know your absence is the thorn in my side
Little Anastasia..
(I know you're out there)
And only you can take the thorn from my side
Monday, time for Alchemy
I'm buried behind the gallery
come in and see a band
from Norway or Japan
pick up the CD while you're able
someone on a tiny German label
Miss Gothic NYC
Hey, save a dance for me
and please deposit if you please
some black lipstick on my peepee
Monday time for alchemy
so come in and have a pint
there's a hideous man named Mike
and a bunch of gothic tykes
and George at the bar with his fake fangs on
and hold everything, they're playing my song!
"It gets so lonely being evil"
It's Monday night again
so pull up a chair my friend
and Jason and Althea will be, oh, so glad to see ya
don't get cake on your velvet cape
here at Alchemy Mondays
I hear your voice
And the world goes astray
I see your face
And this place is okay
Oh, for just a moment of your time
Oh, now, that'd be sublime
Do you hear me?
I'm here for you
You don't see me
I'm way in the back of the ballroom
I've been here since last night at nine
I was the first in the line
You make me cry more than
anyone i've ever met in my whole life
You made me smile despite myself
I live for you, I wouldn't lie
You made me love you more than i
Love myself
Corner cafe, random meeting
Is that really you there?
Scrape me off the ceiling
I've waited my whole life for this day
Now, I don't know what to say
You are the sea and the sky
And i'm content to not know why
You are so great, I am so plain
I am that moth to your flame
...Wish I was good enough for you
The sun goes down while children listen,
All the way down.
Black as a crow is the space in which you,
Leave me standing.
All the way down.
If you'd seen the light of day,
I'd hold you there tonight.
And if you'd seen the light we'd go,
All the way down.
Up there in space,
Tou're looking down on us,
Looking all the way down.
And if you fell to Earth,
They have a name they call it, they say,
"All the way down."
If you burned your wings and fell into my arms,
You know I wouldn't mind being,
All the way down.
I can't believe in Hell,
But I've got to believe in Heaven.
I wouldn't sleep at night not knowing,
That you were somewhere better.
If you burned your wings and fell into my arms,
You know I wouldn't mind being,
All the way down,
All the way down,
When the Devil is too busy
And deaths a bit too much
They call me, by name you see,
For my special touch.
To the Gentlemen I'm Misfortune
To the Ladies I'm Surprise
But call me by any name
Anyway it's all the same
I'm the fly in your soup
I'm the pebble in your shoe
I'm the demon in your bed
I'm a bump on every head
I'm the peel on which you slip
I'm a pin in every hip
I'm the thorn in your side
Makes you wriggle and writhe
And it's so easy when you're evil
This is the life, you see
The Devil tips his hat to me
I do it all because I'm evil
And I do it all for free
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need!
While there's children to make sad
While there's candy to be had
while there's pockets left to pick
While there's grannies left to trip
down the stairs, I'll be there, I'll be waiting 'round the corner
It's a game, I'm glad I'm in it
'Cause there's one born every minute
And it's so easy when you're evil
This is the life, you see
The Devil tips his hat to me
I do it all because I'm evil
And I do it all for free
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need
I pledge my allegiance, to all things dark
and I promise on my damned soul
To do as I am told, Lord Beelzebub
Has never seen a soldier quite like me
Not only does his job, but does it happily.
I'm the fear that keeps you wake
I'm the shadows on the wall
I'm the monsters they become
I'm the nightmare in your skull
I'm a dagger in your back
An extra turn on the rack
I'm the quivering of your heart
A stabbing pain, a sudden start.
And it's so easy when you're evil
This is the life, you see
The Devil tips his hat to me
I do it all because I'm evil
And I do it all for free
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need
And I do it all for free
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need
And I do it all for free
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need
It gets so lonely being evil
What I'd do to see a smile
Even for a little while
And no one loves you when you're evil
I'm lying though my teeth!
If, while you're out in space, love, you're horny as a targ
Take a tip from a security chief, love that phat slut Tasha Yar
She discovered the pleasures of Data, he became her sexual pet
'Cause he's fully functional and anatomically correct
He's fully functional and anatomically correct
His defiant, with its thrusters will explode in your wormhole
And he'll rub his trusty spangler, wrench on your warp core manifold
His multiphasic torpedo, will penetrate your rift
And cause a quantum singularity in your trans warp conduit
So if you're a filthy horta, Data's your bestest bet
'Cause he's fully functional, and anatomically correct
He's fully functional and anatomically correct
He gently massages your gel packs while he replicates some lube
Then he shoves his throbbing razor beast into your Jeffery's tube
So lower your shields, spread your nacelles to make room for his craft
As he thrusts his delta flyer into your big fat juicy aft
So if you're a filthy horta Data's your bestest bet
'Cause he's fully functional, and anatomically correct
He's fully functional and anatomically correct
His pelvis, a tireless engine, he shakes it when he struts
He's full of dilithium crystals in his bolts and in his nuts
He too likes to be pleasured he will put you on your knees
And if you're into disgrace
He will cover your face with his android anti-freeze
So if you're a filthy horta, Data's your bestest bet
'Cause he's fully functional, and anatomically correct
He's fully functional and anatomically correct
Oh and now the end is near,
And I face that final curtain.
So goodbye to strife,
This is the last dance of my life.
Lord of this I'm certain.
I've been a sinner.
I've been a saint.
Done both good and evil deeds.
Oh, but in the end, I was good to my friends
and that's good enough for me.
Oh good lord, they say all souls you forgive.
Well if that's true then why,
Does there need to be a hell?
Hey, what's that sulfur-y smell?
Now I can feel, the fire, creepin' up my thigh.
I'm goin to Hell, in a handbasket.
It's a Bohemian Rhapsody.
Oh, Galileo, Mama Mia, scaramouche, scaramouche.
Oh, Beelzebub's got a devil put aside for me.
I'm goin to Hell, in a handbasket.
With my flesh they'll make a feast.
I'm gonna be there in that number.
That's 666 the number of the beast.
I'm goin to Hell, in a handbasket.
Well at least I'll have a view.
Oh I will see the fire, through the rusty razor wire.
Oh don't you worry, I saved a seat for you.
I'm goin to Hell, in a handbasket.
And I might like it that way.
No this ain't no lie, I'd rather be Kentucky Fried
Than live and kicking in Jersey any day
I'm goin to Hell, in a handbasket.
I'd pray if I had the guile.
No this ain't no fib, I'd rather be a splatter on the Devil's bib.
'Cause on my knees repentent ain't my style.
I'm goin to Hell, in a handbasket.
Oh please don't pray for me.
No I don't need to be saved, of the devil I ain't afraid.
There ain't nothin he can do that ain't already been done to me.
I'm goin to Hell, in a handbasket.
And I'll have good company too.
'Cause If I was so bad, than there's no need to be sad.
'Cause everybody else will be there too (including you).
Oh, oh good Lord, I only ask you forgive
The self-righteous who deceive
When your words they twist,
We both know Hell don't exist,
Except in the minds of the poor fools who believe
I shot out of bed
it was Easter morning
only 8am
I should still be snoring
But I heard a cry
coming from the crypts
and before my weary eyes
was a Bunnypocalypse!
I was kind of stunned
I looked all around
there were sleezter eggs
scattered on the ground
they cracked wide open
and coming out in waves
was a zombie bunny horde
from beyond the grave
A black cat crossed my path and said I had nothing to
fear.
I said Cat, you don't know Jack,
cause the Haremageddons here!
Tap tap, that double tap
to send them back to their crypts
Keep a gun at your hips and a prayer on your lips
for the Bunnypocalypse!
I turned and there I saw a Druid
He was mixing up a magic fluid
He told me Easter was a pagan holiday
"It's been Christian long enough
and we're taking it back today"
I called old Chuck Noris and the Boondock Saints
call the Pope in Rome,
they all told me wait
I called Bruce Campbell
got him on the phone.
he said keep your chin up boy
'cause now on your own.
A black cat crossed my path and said I had nothing to
fear.
I said Cat, you don't know Jack,
cause the Haremageddons here!
Tap tap, that double tap
to send them back to their crypts
Keep a gun at your hips and a prayer on your lips
for the Bunnypocalypse!
Keep a gun at your hips and a prayer on your lips
Un barquito de cÃiscara de nuez
Adornado con hojas de papel
Subiendo y bajando las olas
El barquito ya se fue
Navegar sin temor en el mar es lo mejor
No hay razon por ponerse a temblar
Y si viene negra tempestad
Reid remad y cantad
Navegar sin temor en el mar es lo mejor
Y si el cielo nos da muy azul
El barquito va contento
You're a fountain of blood
In the shape of a girl
I'm the bird on the brim
Hypnotized by the whirl
I drink you, make you feel real
Wet my beak in your stream
The game we're playing is life
Love's a two way dream
Leave me now return tonight
The tide will show you the way
If you forget my name, you will go astray
Like a killer whale trapped in a bay
You're a path of cinders
Burning under my feet
I'm the one who walks you
You're my one way street
You're a whispering water
A secret for me to hear
I'm the one who grew distant
When you beckoned me near
Leave me now return tonight
The tide will show you the way
If you forget my name, you will go astray
Like a killer whale trapped in a bay
You're a tree that grows hearts
One for each that I take
I'm the ground that you beat on
You're the branch that I break
And life is a necklace of tears
You undo them with your fear
And I am a fountain of fears
You fill me with your tears
Our love
Is a big ball of string
Devil collects it with a grin
What did I ever do to you
That you should treat me this way?
Is it really such a crime
For an angel to speak his mind?
In time I'll try to she'd some light
If I were a big boy I wouldn't cry
But since I'm not a big boy I'll have to cry
What did I ever do so wrong
That you should cast me from grace
Though I love to rule in hell here
How I miss the taste of heaven
It's soft and cool embrace
If I were a big boy I wouldn't cry
But since I'm not a big boy
I'll have to close my eyes
And picture what's it's like
I'm just like you
I'm made by him
Despised by they
I'm almost me
I'm nearly human look at me
I'm almost a human being
I'm just like you
Made by him
Despised by they
I'm almost me
I'm nearly human
Pity me I'm almost a human being
I still remember your light
It was streaming down
And burning out my eyes
If I were a big boy I wouldn't cry
But since I'm not a big boy
I'll have to close my eyes
And picture what it's like
I'm just like you
I'm made by him
Despised by they
I'm almost me
I'm nearly human look at me
I'm almost a human being
There tears are real
I'm jealousy I'm spite and hate
To the core I'm mean
I'm nearly human look at me
I'm almost a human being
I'm just like you
Better than he
To hell with they
I'm almost me
I'm nearly human
Pity me I'm almost a human being
Don't touch me
I couldn't bear the thought of it now
Don't touch me
I couldn't bear the strength
Don't touch me
I couldn't bear the thought of it now
Touch me touch me touch me
You learn a lot about a girl
The way that you meet her
Was she with a guy when you met her?
How did she treat him?
Was she lying to her man
To be out holding your hand?
Yeah, you learn a lot about a girl
Do you really believe that with you
it will be different?
Man, listen to me I did that too
Now it's here that I'm missing
I'm a guy that she lied to
Soon enough that guy will be you
Yeah, you learn a lot about a girl
Was it a nice, clean, even split
before you and she got into it?
Yeah, you learn a lot about a girl
Now here's a fact that is true
All men are dumb, and women are crazy
Hey, open your eyes
If you don't see this you're just being lazy
She's no saint as you can see
'Cause she's out with you
While she's living with me
Yeah, you learn a lot
Don't think you will not
When I find the living a bore
There's a place I go
I answer the call, go over a wall
Where the crosses are all in a row
I mind the trees, get down on my knees
There's a hole in the gate
I look around, that I won't be found
And sit down next to his grave
If you squirm at the Conqueror Worm
This is no place for thee
Or if you fright at the mere sight
Of the corpse of my Annabel Lee
If you fear there's something you hear
A heart beating under the floor
Still your heart, there's no need to start
It's just me having tea with Lenore
Sit here on the ground
Dead leaves in the trees all around you
Come enter this land
Take this book in your hand
If you find the living a bore
There's a place you can go
Answer the call, go over the wall
Where the crosses are all in a row
Mind the trees, get down on your knees
Sneak in just like the breeze
Look around, though you won't be found
It's just you, Edgar Allen and me
Sit here on the ground
Dead leaves in the trees all around you
Come enter this land
Hello darling,
Can't believe how long it's been
Since I said Goodbye
Saw the seas swell in your eyes
You're so beautiful
I think you and my heart is full
Come home, my dear
It's so cold without you here
Hallo elskan min
Trui ekki hvad timinn lidur
Sedan vid skilldumst ad
Sa hafid risa I augum thinum
Thu er svo falleg
Hugsa um thig og hjarta mitt fyllist
Kondu, kondu him
Thad er svo kalt an thin herna
Hallo elskan min
Can't believe how long it's been
Since I said goodbye
Sa hafid risa I augum thinum
Thu ert svo falleg
Tahd er svo kalt an thin herna
Come home
Kondu heim
He slips in through the back door,
And he helps himself to the patients' medicine.
And he likes to look important.
And he always looks like he's impotent.
And each tale that he tells of the lives that he's saved,
Is a spade full of dirt as he's digging his grave.
And the deep blackened hallow he's patched with a badge,
Is the happiness he's never had.
And he says,
"It's all right, they know me here.
It's all right, they know me, they know me."
His flames are yesterday's tinsel,
And his belly's the sail that propels him,
Onto the rocks.
And you know that even the noble Don Quixote would,
Call him a mile away for a windmill.
And each Sunday that passes he's rid of his sins,
And he's ready to do them all over again.
And God won't be mad for the money he stole,
he put some in the offering bowl.
And he says,
"It's all right, they know me here.
It's all right, they know me, they know me."
Soon comes the moment that all souls await,
Just as sure as St. Peter will padlock the gate.
But deep in his wallet's a shiny new coin,
So, he turns and he winks and says,
"It's all right, they know me here.
It's all right, they know me, they know me.
It's all right, they know me here.
It's all right, they know me, they know me."
Devils, for liars, put brands on the fires
And everyone burns, with your glowing, red name on it.
Finally, you've come to a place where they,
The guy upstairs is such a freak.
For five years now I've had a leak.
What does he do up there?
All day long he "sleeps all day,"
Then he goes out and comes home
In the most intoxicated way.
As far as I can tell, he juggles bowling balls
But he's not good at it.
He moves his furniture then at six am
He pulls out the vacuum cleaner
To suck his room.
The guy downstairs is also crazy.
He spent some time in an institute.
It did him not much good
He's off his medication,
And he starts screaming,
"Virgin Mary, you fucking alien!"
According to him Jesus Christ smokes crack,
And other sundry things.
But it's the man upstairs who pulls the strings,
Won't let me sleep.
Please, kill that man upstairs.
If you ever loved me, you'll do this one thing,
Won't you sweetheart?
Please murder that man upstairs.
If you want to be my friend,
You'll have to prove you mean it.
I used to think that rent control was a good idea,
Until I moved here.
Now I'm the only sucker,
Paying more than a hundred bucks a room.
And I'm surrounded by lunatics who don't,
Even need a moon.
But it's the man upstairs who pulls the strings,
Won't let me sleep.
Please, kill that man upstairs.
If you ever loved me, you'll do this one thing,
Won't you sweetheart?
Please murder that fuck upstairs.
If you want to be my friend
You'll have to prove you mean it.
Then there's the lady across the hall,
Who always knows what's going on.
And Machu Pichu down the stairs,
Who is selling crack from door to door.
14B are refugees and 14A transvestite whores.
But you know who is coming home,
He's falling up his drunken stairs.
Please, kill that man upstairs.
If you ever loved me, you'll do this one thing,
Won't you sweetheart?
Please murder that fuck upstairs.
If you want to be my friend,
Ravens land upon her hair,
Clouds adrift on her skin,
A smile that tugs upon my soul,
And whispers gently in my ear.
Eyes of honey look me down,
Lips like roses line her mouth,
Steely arrows in the air,
Are wilted flowers at her toes.
And if you ask me how I know,
What she looks like I will tell you,
She left yesterday.
Eyes are east and lips are west,
Pulls my head against her breast.
Logic, north and Lust is south,
Pulls my fingers to her mouth.
Legs as firm as canyon walls,
From leaping high above the moon.
When she drifts down on the air,
The ground can't wait to kiss her toes.
And if you ask me how I know,
What she looks like I will tell you,
She left yesterday.
Ravens land upon her hair,
Clouds adrift on her skin,
A smile that tugs upon my soul,
And whispers gently in my ear.
And if you ask me how I know,
What she looks like I will tell you,
She left yesterday,
She left yesterday,
She left yesterday,
You Bitch you hurt me,
and now i can never forgive you.
You bitch, you bitch,
you hurt me
You Bitch you hurt me,
and now i can never forgive you.
You bitch, you bitch,
meforgive you.
You bitch, you bitch,
you hurt me
You Bitch you hurt me,
and now i can never forgive you.
You i can never forgive you.
You bitch,
you hurt me
You Bitch you hurt me,
and now i can never forgive you.
You bitch, you bitch,
you hurt me
dadaddadaddada
So many hopes
So many dreams
So many gifts under the tree
Needful things and passing whims and fleeing bits of luxury
There they wait for to surprise some eagerly awaiting eyes.
But at that very moment time starts counting down to their demise
For every dearest darling prize will hear that chilling thrilling chime
And become unwanted toys
For everything must break in time.
All will end up in a cave, a landfill or a shallow grave.
The earth will take what she can take and wretch the rest up in a wave.
Poisoned, is the earth for years
From all the trinkets we held dear.
So spare the earth this holiday
Give love and friendship
Hope and cheer
Here, on the slab I awake
And I'm freezing
There is a light up ahead
And I rise and float through the air
Through a tunnel
Now the light's up ahead
Here, in a bullring I stand
Am I dreaming?
There is a bull up ahead
And I laugh, 'Ha ha ha'
I get it, I'm dead
And this whole charade's
A fight for my soul
Red-eyed fiend
Lunges I turn while
Skeletal picadores
Stab away at the beast
I lay, I lay, I lay, I lay
I lay my eyes on the Devil
Oh fate, once again I lay
I lay, I lay, I lay
There in the stands something grabs
My attention
Like it is calling to me
It's a girl with eyes like the sea
Is she an angel sent to watch over me?
I lay, I lay, I lay, I lay
I lay my eyes on the Devil
Oh fate, once again I lay
I lay, I lay, I lay
Suddenly I remember
The girl with eyes like the sea
I turn, she winks and she smiles gently
While the bull runs straight into me
I lay, I lay, I lay, I lay
I lay my eyes on the Devil
'Blue-eyed matador', I cried
Caught a lite sneeze
Caught a lite breeze
Caught a lightweight lightning seed
Boys on my left side
Boys on my right side
Boys in the middle and you're not here
I need a big loan from the girl zone
Building tumbling down
Didn't know our love was so small
Couldn't stand at all
Mister St. John just bring your son.
The spire is hot and my cells can't feed
You still got that Belle dragging my foots yes
You're hiding it well Sister Ernestine
But I still got that Belle dragging my foots yes
Building tumbling down
Didn't know our love was so small
Couldn't stand at all
Mister St. John just bring your son.
Right on time it gets closer and closer
Call my name there's no way in
Use that fame
I rent your wife and kids today
Maybe she will
Maybe she will...
Caught a lite sneeze
Dreamed a little dream
Made my own pretty hate machine
Boys on my left side
Boys on my right side
Boys in the middle and you're not here
Boys in their dresses and you're not here
I need a big loan from the girl zone
I need a big, big loan from the girl zone
Building tumbling down
Didn't know our love was so small
Couldn't stand at all
Whenever I'm alone with you,
You make me feel like I am home again.
Whenever I'm alone with you,
You make me feel like I am whole again.
Whenever I'm alone with you,
You make me feel like I am young again.
Whenever I'm alone, with you,
You make me feel like I am fun again.
However far away,
I will always love you.
However long I stay,
I will always love you.
Whatever words I say,
I will always love you.
I will always love you.
Whenever I'm alone, with you,
You make me feel like I am free again.
Whenever I'm alone, with you,
You make me feel like I am free again.
However far away,
I will always love you.
However long I stay,
I will always love you.
Whatever words I say,
I will always love you.
You, there on the bridge
where have you been, whats your name?
and you, there you on the wall
where will you go to once you fall?
you, lost at sea
do you need me, do you need directions?
hey, put down the gun
what are you thinking?
you were someone's son
the taste of tears
the sting of pain
the smell of fear
the sounds of crying
a long, long time ago i fell to this place
from another dimension
and thrust amongst the beasts
and they way they behave borders on dementia
now through all these years
i can barely take it
i don't think i can make it
take me away from here
I want to go home
I'm so sick and tired of the
the taste of tears
the sting of pain
the smell of fear
the sounds of crying
as you standing at the edge of your life
what do you remember?
was it all you wanted?
I'm trying to earn a set of feathery wings
i wish i could protect you here
oh, please don't cry
now smile as you're standing
at the edge of your life
your troubles are over
mine are just beginning
I'm trying to earn a set of feathery wings
to take me away from here
its me you leave behind
if only I could have been there
I'd be a hand for the sinking
if only I could have been there
I'd be a prayer for the dying
see the pain etched in my face
Oh, i'm so sick and tired of
the taste of tears
the sting of pain
the smell of fear
the sounds of crying
as you're standing at the edge of your life
what do you remember was it all you wanted
I'm trying to earn a set of feathery wings
i wish i could protect you here
oh, please don't cry
now smile as you're standing
at the edge of your life
your troubles are over
mine are just beginning
I'm trying to earn a set of feathery wings
to take me away from here
its me you leave
you're gone from here
don't leave from here
don't leave me here
I hate it here
you're gone from here
don't leave me here
I need you here
You'll burn my flag
You'll crash my car
You'll kill my cat
You'll break my balls
You'll watch my cities fall
but not tonight
You're the devil's own
You'll cheat and lie
and you won't stop until
you stole the glimmer from my eye
but not tonight
Cause i won't let you
i know you want to
but not with me
Its all so clear to see
you can try to destroy me but not tonight
cause i won't let you through
you can fight if you like some other time
you'll find i'm out of reach
your words can't hurt me i'm out tonight
You'll burn my flag
You're my demise
You'll orchestrate my fall
YOU'LL BURN MY BRIDGE
you'll kill my cat
You'll scale my castle wall
to get to me
You'll break my will
you'll sell my soul
You'll take my heart
and replace it with a gaping hole
and step on me
i won't let you
i know you want to
but not with me
Its all so clear to see
you can try to destroy me but not tonight
cause i won't let you through
you can fight if you like some other time
you'll find i'm out of reach
your words can't touch me i'm out tonight
my heart's divided
yes surrender would be nice
to just lay down
my sword and sheild
by the flowers
but i know that you lie
in wait tonight
But i won't let you
i know you want to
but not with me
Its all so clear to see
you can try to destroy me but not tonight
cause i won't let you through
you can fight if you like
you can scale any wall
YOU'LL DISCOVER THAT OF anything at all
your words can't hurt me
your words can't touch me
Saw you on the street
We had to meet
I thought I would greet you
In just one week I would delete you
People say the stupidest things
On their first date like
"What's your real name?"
They reveal their ignorance
But you adore them
So you just ignore them
Then came you raising the bar
Oh, you, you won't be undone
I looked into your eyes
And much to my surprise
I saw there was nothing in there
'Cause there's nothing
Between your ears but air!
There goes my future ex girlfriend
She's as sweet as a rose
Yes, she is
She has such beautiful lips
Now, if only they were closed
I love how you adore me
Oh, but honey how you bore me
Your life's such a wreck
I've lost all respect
I don't mean to surprise you
It took me just one week to despise you!
And I don't care that you're a model
'Cause let me say it's clear to tell
that your brain is shot to hell
And no one cares that you love Keanu
Oh, what's the difference anyway
Everybody knows that he's gay
Okay, I really don't know that
But let's face it
He's too hot to be straight!
There goes my future ex girlfriend
That girl's such a prize
Yes, she is
She'll be the Queen of the world
For a day or less in my eyes
Perhaps I'll wear a suit
When I give you the boot
Oh, I hate to seem so superficial
Coin operated goi,
Scary but it's true,
He is not a Jew.
He won't dance the horah,
Won't light the menorah,
And it's not a lie,
He ain't even circumcised.
Coin operated goi.
I'm not so sure that he's kosher,
Deskite what is in the brochure.
Everything he eats is wrapped in ham.
Plus he tried to pork me in the can.
I should go and ask my Rabbi,
If it's a sin if he and I,
Do it through a small hole in a sheet.
Just big enough to slip my kosher meat.
Groin masticated joy, oh boy!
Coin operated goi,
Can't hang with the Moyles,
He ain't got the curls.
I say we convert him.
It ain't gonna hurt him.
Well, maybe downbelow,
He will have to undergo,
A groin operation ploy.
His bris we'll perform,
To make his schmuck deformed.
The Moyle gets a dollar,
If he makes him holler.
To make his schmuck more slim,
We'll chop off his foreskin!
Give it to the waiter.
He'll bless it for seder.
We'll nosh on it later.
Oh I want a,
I want a,
I want a,
I want a...
for Rosh hashanah.
A coin operated goi, oh boy!
Coin operated goi,
Scary but it's true,
He was not a Jew.
But honestly, no schitzvah,
He had a Bar Mitzvah.
Now he's kosher too.
He just like me and you,
Voltaire – Anniversary
Do I look the same to you?
Cause I don't feel so
You know everything must change
As time goes by
Though it feels like yesterday
When we first met
I feel I'm sinking deeper
Do you look the same to me?
Well I don't think so
Cause you know everything must change
As time goes by
Like the flowers that dry
Locking inside
Forever their beauty
Beauty
And they said this feeling fades
It gets stronger everyday
And they say that beauty fades
You're more beautiful than ever
They said we'd drift away
We're still standing here
And it feels like every day's
Our Anniversary
Well I stumble through the dark
And light a candle
And the path the wax will take
No one can know
And you said it looked like snow
Or maybe clouds,
and I think it looks like Heaven
So we make it into a ring
And make a mold
And we melt above the flames
The whitest gold
When hot and cold collide
What's left in place
Is forever and ever
And they said our love would fade
it gets stronger everyday
And they say that beauty fades
You're more beautiful than ever
They said we'd drift away
We're still standing here
And it feels like every day's
Our Anniversary
Some say things worth having
Take some time
As they get older
They get better
La lalala lalalala...
And they said our love would fade
it gets stronger everyday
And they say that beauty fades
You're more beautiful than ever
They said we'd drift away
We're still standing here
And it feels like every day's
Our Anniversary
And they said our love would fade
it gets stronger everyday
And they say that beauty fades—
You're more beautiful than ever
They said we'd drift away
Well as long as we're together
It feels like every day's
Cabaret Voltaire
Microphonies
Digital Rasta
"Digital Rasta" _Microphonies_ Cabaret Voltaire
This could be the end of it all.
There's a woman in the woods behind you,
No time to step and crawl.
No time to tip-toe.
In this security -- work, you, I don't dig.
Shut down.
This could be the end of it all.
This could be the end of it all.
All you wanted, a view of your own.
Now awaiting, Judgement Day.
Flash past, the art escapes you.
Never there in black and white.
There's a lesson to be learned.
Living on the words of others.
Selling something like you sell yourself.
Money in the bank, but you're under pressure.
This could be the end of it all.
This could be the end of it all.
There's a lesson to be learned.
Selling something like you sell yourself.
Money in the bank, but you're under pressure.
This could be the end of it all.
This could be the end of it all.
Power in the new line, call it strong.
Everything for positive reason.
Evil, comes too easy.
Never at a tender scratch.
s on the side, but you're under pressure.
It's over, the worst behind you.
No time to step and grow.
No time to, tip-toe.
In your security, work, you, I don't dig.
Shut down. Shut down.
This could be the end of it all.
This could be the end of it all.
There's a lesson to be learned.
Living on the words of others.
Selling something like you sell yourself.
Money in the bank, but you're under pressure.
This could be the end of it all.
This could be the end of it all.
All you wanted, a view of your own.
Now awaiting, Judgement Day.
Flash past, the art escapes you.
Never there in black and white.
There's a lesson to be learned.
Living on the words of others.
Selling something like you sell yourself.
Money in the bank, but you're under pressure.
This could be the end of it all.
This could be the end of it all.
Power in the new line, call it strong.
Everything for positive reason.
Did you find what you were looking for?
And did you hear what you needed to hear?
And did I serve you well, did I serve you well,
Did I serve any purpose?
Any one at all?
Did you come for redemption?
Or a resurrection
Perhaps a bandage for a gapping wound
I know I put one there
Or perhaps you were bored,
Or may haps you were confused
Did I serve any purpose?
Any one at all
A crown of thorns would suit you well
You hang there at a loss
A crown of thorns would suit you
I'd shake your hands if they weren't nailed to a cross
I don't want to believe
(This is the end)
I don't want to believe
I don't want to believe
I don't want to believe
I don't want you to leave
And is that, is that all
Is that, is that all you wanted
Is that, is that all you wanted me to know
Is that, is that all.
I don't mind you dragging me around,
And I don't mind as long as I know where you're taking me
And did I serve you well
Did I serve you well?
Did I serve any purpose?
Any one at all
A crown of thorns would suit me well
I hang here at a loss
A crown of thorns would suit me
I'd lend a hand if it weren't nailed to a cross
I don't want to believe
I don't want to believe
I don't want you to leave me here
Nailed to this question mark
I don't want to believe
I don't want to believe
I don't want you to leave
And is that, is that all
Is that, is that all you wanted
Is that, is that all you wanted me to know
I hear your voice
And the world goes away
I see your face
And this place is okay
Oh, for just a moment of your time
Oh, now, that'd be sublime
Do you hear me?
I'm here for you
You don't see me
I'm way in the back of the ballroom
I've been here since last night at nine
I was the first in the line
You make me cry more than
anyone i've ever met in my whole life
You made me smile despite myself
I live for you, I wouldn't lie
You made me love you more than i
Love myself
Corner cafe, random meeting
Is that really you there?
Scrape me off the ceiling
I've waited my whole life for this day
Now, I don't know what to say
You are the sea and the sky
And i'm content to not know why
You are so great, I am so plain
I am that moth to your flame
I knew a girl
She was so young
So full of dreams
So ready for love
She met a boy whose words were like
The waves
In came the tide
And she was swept away
I knew a boy
He was so young
So full of steam
So ready for lust
He met a girl who
Held a wondrous prize
He said the magic words
To open up her thighs.
Ten years have past
He's on your mind
As long as you live
He'll always be that guy
No so for him
For whom it was a game
He may recall the night
But he can't
Remember your name
And you lose nothing!
You've lost nothing!
You've lost nothing!
You've lost nothing!
They say the day
That I was born
It rained here
And yet it was the best
Day of your life.
And who would ever dream
A child sweet as I seem
Would be the source of
So much pain and strife
Every time I tried
To take the high road
Something deep inside me
Dragged me down
Wherever I appear
Came hate, despair and fear
Seems trouble always
Followed me around
Say it's not too late for
You to hold me
You were always there
When times were bad
And they're so bad
The love you gave to me
So unconditionally
So sad, so sad
Born bad
Nary have I written you
A letter
Hardly have I called
Lest things were bad
And all those I called friends
Are all gone in the end
In truth you were the best
I ever had
Mama, is it too late
For you to hold me?
You were always there
When times were bad
And they're so bad
The love you gave to me
So unconditionally
So sad, so sad
Born bad
I don't want to go
I don't want to go
I'm not nearly yet
Spoken: A Buddhist on the subway tells me that
What you want is rarely, if ever, what you need.
And of course, I argue the point like a completely self-righteous idiot.
Sung: I was looking for perfection
And it found me, right between the eyes
All this time we spent in bliss,
You know, like all things, it has to fade away
The devil says beware
Cus when you ask, you might get what you want
The devil, he may care
When you ask, you might get what you want
Spoken: So now I spend most of my time waiting for things to happen,
Letting the wind take me where it will.
Sung: Only when it's done do you lose the veil
You get so blind you never see the light coming down the tracks
It keeps me hanging from a thread
Devil drives the train,
Devil pass me by
This is the happy song I wrote for you
You know, this is the happy song I never wrote for you
And after all this time,
And after all the lies
Never dreamed you would seem to me little more than an earthly waste of time
After all these precious opportunities that I had to set things right
Dissolve like regret in heaven, they do
And she said
Anata no namae o yuki ni kaku
Keredomo nani mo iwanai.
(Japanese translation: You write your name in the snow
Yet say nothing.)
This is the happy song I wrote for you
This is the happy song I never wrote for you
After all this time, and after all the lies
Never dreamed you would seem to me little more than an earthly waste of time
After all these precious opportunities that I had to set things right
Dissolve like regret in heaven,
If the light does not reveal
What I'm feeling for you
If the light does not expose
Please don't fret
My precious heart
If you don't understand
Keep in mind you're not alone
And I may never find
The words to paint
What you are to me
And I may never find them
Whole.
If the light is not as kind
As the truth is ugly
Every mirror's not a door
Just a stranger always
Kicking, crying, criticizing
Stranger leave yourself alone!
And I may never know
The reasons why I said
What I did, I may never know it
When I did it, I think I knew it
Now I only hope that I get through it
You could have been my guide
To the other side
Out of the storm raging inside
But my hands were tied to
The wall of pride
And my legs were shackled to
The wall of pride
I guess it's why my blood
It goes ballistic when I see you
Danger turns my heart a drum
It's only you who sends my body
Reeling for the exit
It's only me I'm from
And I may never know
What I was doing
Far from your side
I couldn't escape this feeling with my China Girl
I'm just a wreck without my little China Girl
I hear her heart beating loud as thunder
Saw the stars crashing
I'm a mess without my China Girl
Wake up mornings, where's my little China Girl
I hear hearts beating loud as thunder
I see stars crashing down
I feel tragic like I was Marlon Brando
When I look at my China Girl
I could pretend that nothing really meant too much
When I look at my China Girl
I stumble into town just like a sacred cow
Visions of swastikas in my head
And plans for everyone
It's in the white of my eyes
My little China Girl, you shouldn't mess with me
I'll ruin everything you are
I'll give you television, I'll give you eyes of blue
I'll give you men who want to rule the world
And when I get excited
My little China Girl says
["Oh baby, just you shut your mouth."]
Christmas, that magic time of the year, mom and dad are glad everyone's here
Grandpa is busy trimming the tree and aunty made a fruitcake naturally.
But her fruitcake ain't the only one at the table
And there's something that I just have to say
“Granny pass the stuffing if you are able
And by the way mom and dad, I'm gay”
Yeah I brought a girl with me but I paid her to be here.
Hey mom and dad that's what they call a beard
I try to make it work but the girl ain't got the gear
What can I say; I love it in the rear
Comin' out for Christmas
Comin' out this year
Can't wait to tell the world that I'm a flamin' queer
Comin' out for Christmas
Comin' out today
And here's your Christmas present, mom and dad I'm gay
Take back those G.I. Joes I never liked those toys
I never did like stuff that was for boys
Bring me some Barbies although you think it's wrong
Or better yet Johnny Depp in a thong
Comin' out for Christmas
Comin' out this year
Can't wait to tell the world that I'm a flamin' queer
Comin' out for Christmas
Comin' out today
And here's your Christmas present, mom and dad I'm gay
Don't look so surprised to know
It's not like I'm the only homo
Aunty Jen's a lesbian (she is?)
And I've been felt by Uncle Joe
Well now I don't expect for you to like what you've been told
And if you hate me well that's how it goes
Well as for me I'm off to a disco and you can kiss my gay ass as I go
Comin' out for Christmas
Comin' out this year
Can't wait to tell the world that I'm a flamin' queer
Comin' out for Christmas
Comin' out today
Don't go by the river
If you love your wife
‘Cause you'll make that girl a widow
And you'll cause her pain and strife
If you go by the river side,
You'll lose your l-l-l-l-life!
People by the river,
They know who's the boss
They'll get at fancy city folks
No matter what the cost
And if you go by the river side,
You'll end up l-l-l-l-lost!
There's a bat they call Lestat
Who'll sink his teeth in you
You might meet a creature from the swampy black lagoon
And if the moon is full,
You might meet the loup-garou
Don't go by the river side,
You'll be sorry if you do!
A young man met a lady
And she made this fellow swoon
So they went on down to New Orleans
To elope under the moon
He took her by the river side,
To give her the heir l-l-l-loom!
Well the next day he got outta bed and
She wasn't by his side
He searched the quarter high and low
When the bayou far and wide
Locals say she ran away
But you know they l-l-l-l-lie!
There's a bat they call Lestat
Who'll sink his teeth in you
You might meet a creature from the swampy black lagoon
And if the moon is full,
You might meet the loup-garou
Don't go by the river side,
You'll be sorry if you do!
Who shivers when they hear about voo-doo?
Don't lie to me, boy, I know you do!
You better tremble when you hear me call!
‘Cause you'd make a lovely shrunken head
You'll be my favorite voo-doo doll!
Sting went by the river,
Now he slings on Bourbon Street
And there's that song by Concrete Blonde about where it's warm and green
And if you go by the river side,
You'll never l-l-l-l-leave!
There's a bat they call Lestat
Who'll sink his teeth in you
You might meet a creature from the swampy black lagoon
And if the moon is full,
You might meet the loup-garou
Don't go by the river side,
(Don't go by the river side!)
Said don't go by that river side,
(Said don't go by that river side!)
Don't go by the river side,
(Why's that?)
You You love You love this. But you Don't even know What I'm saying.
You're dancing to my song in German I'm back at your place Fucking your girlfriend All night!
We're playing hide the salami Tillz the morning lights
You You love You love this But you don't even know what I'm singing.
Farvegnugen and VolksWagen My favourite singer is Nina Hagen, New York! New York, New York.
Wiener Snitzel and a struedel My uncle Albert schtupped a poodle All night!
We're playing hide the salami Tillz the morning lights
You You love You love this.
Jason: Live long and prosper, if you're one of us. Voltaire: May the force be with you, unless that phrase don't fit you. Jason: Forever, we have been at odds. Voltaire: Cause you're a drooling Trekkie Jason: Says the Lucas lackey. Voltaire (lead), Jason (harmony) : Whatever!
Jason: We are out in space the last frontier, Jason: Seeking life that's new and strange out here Jason (lead), Voltaire (harmony): and new civilizations in the great beyond. Jason: boldly going where no one has gone.
Voltaire: Our tale is better in every way. Voltaire: in a galaxy far far away Voltaire (lead), Jason (harmony): a great adventure happened a long long time ago, Voltaire: but then I don't suppose that you would know.
Jason: We have ray guns we call phasers Voltaire: We have blasters AND lightsabers Jason: We have ships that fly at warp Voltaire: Yeah, it's called "Hyperspace", you dork! Jason (lead), Voltaire (harmony): : We've got the Mugato and you have got Ewoks! Voltaire: yeah, well, a guy who plays with tribbles shouldn't talk!
Jason: Oh come on let's not fight, Jason (lead), Voltaire (harmony): it's so unintellectual. Jason: How 'bout we join sides and be bi-trektual? Voltaire: (spoken) that's disgusting Jason: (spoken) yeah, forget I mentioned it.
Jason: Klingons shooting at our starboard side. Jason: We've got a hull breach on the Enterprise. Jason (lead), Voltaire (harmony): We drift into the neutral zone and we're on the wrong side. Jason: We'd need a wormhole to get out alive.
Voltaire: On a moon of Yavin's where we hide. Voltaire: We're having trouble with the hyperdrive. Voltaire (lead), Jason (harmony): This planet keeps on spinning and the Death Star's now in sight. Voltaire: We hope the rebels take it out in time.
Voltaire: Oh, come on let's not fight, Voltaire (lead), Jason (harmony): it's so unintellectual. Voltaire: How 'bout we join sides and be bi-trektual? Jason: Wouldn't it be nice Jason (lead), Voltaire (harmony): and so much more effectual? Jason: To put our cares aside and be bitrektual!
Voltaire: Think how awesome it would be a Voltaire: team up with Jean Luc and Leah, Jason: Kirk and Chewie save the day, Jason: blowing up a bird of prey. Voltaire: Han and Spock they set a net Voltaire: and trap the Borg and Boba Fett Voltaire: While 3P0 and Data raid a Tie fighter to capture Vader. Voltaire (lead), Jason (harmony): Luke and Worf get into it and blow the Death Star into bits Jason: And then we throw the tribbles Jason (lead), Voltaire (harmony): into the Sarlac pit Voltaire: and then we kick the Ewoks into it.
Jason: Live long and prosper, so say we all Voltaire: (spoken) Wait, what? Voltaire: May the force be with you, may the Time Lords keep you. Jason (lead), Voltaire (harmony): Forever, we can Babylon Voltaire: There's no use debating, Voltaire(lead), Jason (harmony): the Stargate's waiting,
Voltaire: So come on let's not fight, Voltaire (lead), Jason (harmony): it's so unintellectual. Voltaire: How 'bout we join sides and be bi-trektual? Jason (lead), Voltaire (harmony): So let's take the advice of an Asian homo-sexual...
Voltaire: "Fellow Star folks, cool it down!" Robert Picardo: Celebrity voice impersonated.
Jason (lead), Voltaire (harmony): Let's put our cares aside and be bitrektual! Voltaire: Hell, I want to be SciFi multi-Trektual!
Well, the days are long and the work is hard
When your childhood is spent in the fields
And summer seemed to last million years
One day when I was just a boy
During one of those hot summer swells
The locus was silenced by the playing of bells
And there was the thing for which I longed
A place where I belonged
Where I first held the hand of the one I love
When the circus came to town
We ate candy-cones and corndogs
Cotton candy and candy-canes
And we shared a caramel apple by the arcade
And when night fell and the stars rose
And light bedazzled the fair
We rode the Ferris wheel
Up into the air
And there was the thing for which I longed
A place where I belonged
Where I first held the hand of the one I love
When the circus came to town
And later, in the funhouse,
Our bodies looked so strange
And the mirrors made our faces seemed deranged
And the snake-man in the freak-show
He got you so alarmed
That you ran and ran and ran
Right into my arms
Oh, oh, oh
The next morning I got up
Wrapped my clothes up into a ball
And I ran and ran to run away with the fair
But when I arrived, to my surprise,
All the tents and wagons were gone
And they'd stolen all that happiness from the air
And gone was the thing for which I longed
That place where I belonged
Where I last held the hand of the one I love
When the circus came
When the circus came
I've been 'round for a long time
And I learned along the way:
If you wanna go on the radio
There are words you just can't say!
Well, I thought hard about it
And I found a way around it
Help me go on the radio, you gotta say the words I can't.
You got to sing along to make this song
The dirtiest song that ain't.
Come on, ma'am, won't you give me your hand
And say the words I can't?
You got to sing along to make this song
The dirtiest song that ain't
Down in Carolina
I met a girl with a nice [...]
So I reached down between us
And I whipped out my [...]
Skipped right past the suckin'
And got right down to [...]
She turned and said: "I gotta ask,
Would you slip it into my [...]?"
Help me go on the radio and say the words I can't.
You got to sing along to make this song
The dirtiest song that ain't.
Come on, ma'am, won't you give me your hand
And say the words I can't?
You got to sing along to make this song
The dirtiest song that ain't
Her husband was a trucker
He was a filthy mother[...]
I didn't wanna wrastle
With this no-good stinkin' [...]
I heard him come through the kitchen door
When I was bangin' his filthy [...]
I knew I'd end up in a ditch
If he caught me ridin' his [...]
Help me go on the radio and say the words I can't.
You got to sing along to make this song
The dirtiest song that ain't.
Come on, ma'am, won't you give me your hand
And say the words I can't?
You got to sing along to make this song
The dirtiest song that ain't
"Mercy, please!" I told him,
But he grabbed me by the [...]
And he did something heinous
He exposed his [...]
I said "I don't mean to seem crass,
But why are you buttering up your [...]?"
He said "My wife's a beard, and she lured you here.
'Cause I'm queer and I love it in the [...]"
Help me go on the radio by saying the words I can't.
You have to sing along to make this song
The dirtiest song that ain't.
Sir and ma'am, thanks for lending a hand.
By saying the words I can't.
You have to sing along to make this song
The dirtiest song,
The filthiest song,
Expendable, I'm wearing red and I'm expendable You need me dead, I am dependable You need me live I'm not your guy Cause on the surface, where Spock and Kirk is It's almost certain that I'm gonna die Expendable am I
Terrible, when it comes to shooting I'm just terrible I shot into 110 rebels and didn't hit a single guy I couldn't hit the Death Star while on the Death Star I'd probably shoot my foot and then I'd cry A terrible shot am I
Back at the academy No one was as bad as me Though I tried my very best
Make my teachers all irate Puke from everything I ate Got an F on every test
Though it's selling what's my wish I broke the main deflector dish And they threw me out of class
And they caught me raising heck Naked on the holodeck I thought there's no way I can pass
And just when I thought that I was screwed They said "We've got the perfect job for you!" "You do?"
"You'll be expendable You will wear red and be expendable Forgetting deck, you are dependable In fact you are the perfect guy If shields are down or we blow a warp core It's almost guaranteed you're gonna fry! Expendable..." "...am I"
Back when I was just a teen Growing up on Tatooine Beggar's Canyon was my scene
But my aim was really bad Shooting fools i almost had With my trusty T-16
This made me a little stressed More than just a bit depressed Drowned my tears in Anchorhead
There I met a man named Big Said he had the perfect gig To put me to the test
And just when I thought that I was screwed He said "I've got the perfect job for you!" "You do?"
"You will be terrible, when it comes to shooting you're just terrible You'll shoot at 210 Gungans and not a single one will die We'll get the last laugh on Palpatine's ass By building him an army of guys So terrible..." "...am I!"
And that's how I became a red shirt And that's how I became a trooper And though apart we are pathetic Together we are super duper
Hello boys and girls I am the Doctor
but not the kind that gives you medicine
I've traveled throughout time and space
just to please the human race
so let's not dilly dally, let's begin.
now this thing you see hear, it is my Tardis
and with it we shall get this party started
Time and Relative Dimension
in Space. It's quite an invention
Some call it the Doctor's wife
excuse me while I slip inside...
You know it's,
bigger on the inside
It's bigger on the inside
and once you've felt it inside
I'm sure that you'll agree.
It's bigger on the inside
but don't take it from me
once you've felt it inside you will see.
An evil nemesis we call The Master
baits me into all kinds of disaster
On Gallifrey or so I'm told
He gazed into a gaping hole
and ever since he's been an awful bastard
And then of course we've got the Cybermen
I hope I never see those things again.
Who knows what they're packing there
in their silver underwear
When you see them, you should vacate
your ass they wish to 'simulate'
And you know it's...
bigger on the inside
It's bigger on the inside
and once you've felt it inside
I'm sure that you'll agree.
It's bigger on the inside
but don't take it from me
once you've felt it inside you will see.
And pray you never see a weeping angels
cause though it seems like they are made of stone
they're quantum locked and in a wink
if you should turn your head or blink
they'll get to you and chill you to the bone... er
Those moving buckets there, they are the Daleks
they whine so much you'd swear that they have colic
it's DESTROY and EXTERMINATE
I think I know why they're irate
If they make it to the second floor
I'll show then what that plunger's for!
And you know it's...
bigger on the inside
It's bigger on the inside
and once you've felt it inside
I'm sure that you'll agree.
It's bigger on the inside
but don't take it from me
once you've felt it inside you will see.
They're asking, "Dr. Who?"
What they should ask is "HOW?"
I am so very well endowed
I must admit, it's rather long
If you think I mean my scarf you're wrong!
you bloody pervs I meant this song!
So if you think you'd like a sonic screw
driver like I'm holding in my hand.
you will have to let me in
don't worry child it's not a sin
Hold on to my temporal drive
I'll take you for an epic ride!
And you know it's...
bigger on the inside
It's bigger on the inside
and once you've felt it inside
I'm sure that you'll agree.
It's bigger on the inside
but don't take it from me
ask Amy Pond!
All the evil in the world
Pushing down on you
And all the venom in their words
What could you do?
What kind of ignorance
Causes them to be so,
So sick and vile and evil
You did nothing to them
It's just not fair, you don't deserve it.
It's not your fault
You're innocent
It's the world that's wrong
You're innocent
When they scream and when they yell
And tear you down
They make your life a living hell
When they come 'round
There's nothing you can say
That doesn't contradict them,
'Cause all they want's a victim
On which to vent their rage
It's just not fair, you don't deserve it.
It's not your fault
You're innocent
It's the world that's wrong
You're innocent
Just hold on,
You're innocent
Some day the world will belong
To the innocent
So let's wear black,
Let's blast The Cure and Siouxsie
Then we'll go see
The Rocky Horror Picture Show
And then we'll forget to go home.
It's not your fault
You're innocent
It's the world that's wrong
You're innocent.
Just hold on,
You're innocent.
Some day the world will belong
In the court of Augustine The Twelfth
The king reprimanded his men
And demanded they
Put to good use all his wealth
to cure his deep ennui
For you see, he found that he was sad and lonely
Ever since his wife, the queen, got mad and
Rode off on his steed
In a glen beyond the castle wall
There was a tinker
And he was a thinker
The smartest man in all the world
He made a mechanical girl
For you see, his daughter passed away that summer
And though he knew he could not replace her
He missed his family
Suddenly a knock at the door went ra-ta-ta-ta-ta
And the kingsmen came in blowing horns ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
"By order of His Highness
We're to take you and that... thing
To present your marvel to the king."
And so, over glen and through the castle walls
Over the moat, and into the great castle hall
When her master urged,
The robot girl emerged
When the king laid eyes upon the girl
He was delighted
His men all were knighted
He yelled aloud for all the world
"I'll take her for my queen!"
And the man screamed
"Please don't take my child!
I beg you, mighty king!"
And they grabbed him by his tailcoat
And threw him in the moat
Later in their wedding bed
The king was shocked to see
A tender kiss upon the cheek
Unleashed an armory
Rocket launchers and flamethrowing guns
Grew from her sides
And she grew to seven times her size
Run!
On the morn of August twenty-fourth
He was dejected when lest he expected
A knock was heard upon the door
It was his robot girl
For you see, he'd made her indestructible
It seems and she destroyed that awful kingdom
And they lived happily.
So you see, the moral of the story is:
Never take a child away from a loving parent
Long ago, I went to war
To fight the scourge
Of Christendom
I held aloft my blessed sword
And said,
“By God,
Let them come.”
They said their eyes
Are red as flame
I heard it told
From hell they came
Their breath is fire
Their tongues are forked
Thus are the beasts
Of Dragon's Gate.
I heard my father's words
Deep in my heart
“Son, know your enemy
As I know my son.”
The Fates were kind
They let me in
The dragon's lair
The den of sin
I placed my sword upon its heart and with a prayer
I thrust it in.
The dragon fell
Upon the ground
Twas then I heard
A whimpering sound
A dragonling
To his father clung
Who only fought
To protect his young
I heard my father's words
Deep in my heart.
“Son know your enemy
As I know my son”
And now my son
Is off to war
To fight the new scourge
Of Christendom
He holds aloft his brazen sword
And says
“Dad,
Let them come”
He swears their eyes
are red as flame
And heard it told
From hell they came
Their breath is fire
Their tongues are forked thus
Are the men of Muslim faith
Son, hear you father clear
deep in your heart
“Son, know your enemy
As I would have them know
If you gave me a nickel to mend my ways
Well, then I'd have a nickel
And I reckon I'd probably owe you change.
I don't have a care,
I don't have a plan.
I've got nothing to spare.
And it's just the way I am.
If you gave me a two-cents
On how to live my life.
Well, then I'd have two cents
And a great big pile of bad advice
I don't doubt your mind or ability
I just highly doubt that you know
What's right for me.
You say I'm stubborn as a mule, boy
'Cause you've got words I just won't hear.
I may seem stubborn as a mule, boy
But if wealth is measured by the ease,
To do just what you please.
Then I'm the richest man in here.
You say to save my pennies
For a rainy day
But I can't buy beer with pennies
I've gone and stashed away.
That rainy day might be when I'm dead.
So I'd rather spend them
Now on beer instead.
If you bet me a dollar
That I am wrong.
I'd take that dollar
And I'd put it in the jukebox for this song.
Then I'd sit on back
And pretend to hear your nagging words
While I finish up my beer.
You say I'm stubborn as a mule, boy
'Cause you've got words I just won't hear.
I may seem stubborn as a mule, boy
But if wealth is measured by the ease,
To do just what you please.
Then I'm the richest man in here.
You got the things you need,
And that's alright for you.
You got your cubicle
And your three-piece suit.
You got security and hypertension, too.
And you've got that tie that fits you like a noose.
Bet your bottom dollar
That the buck stops here.
'Cause if you meet me in another forty years,
I'll still be broke
And I may be old.
But the life I've lived,
Would've been worth more than gold.
You say I'm stubborn as a mule, boy
'Cause you've got words I just won't hear.
I may seem stubborn as a mule, boy
But if wealth is measured by the ease,
To do just what you please.
I worked on a garbage skow near the Neurtral Zone and I'm sure you've heard, what occurs When a fella is alone
I was mighty lonely there till I met a man named Jones and he sold me a muff, covered in fluff so I wouldn't have to spank my bone.
Get your self a tribble and then you're good to go. If you've got enough quadrotriticale you'll have an endless supply of hos.
I grabbed myself some VAseline and slathered up my pole But the trouble with these tribbles They're fuzzy and they're cute but I can never find the hole.
They're fuzzy and they're cute but I can never find the hole!
That mate there is Scotty, he's our chief engineer. and he's never had a ho cause most don't know he's queer as Vulcan beer!
I caught him with some tribbles I said 'boy are you dumb? Hear to my song, you're doing it wrong' he was shoving them up his bum!
(Chorus)
Klingon captain Koloth He's mean as he is shrewd. And on shore leave, he got us peeved because he's very rude.
We beamed all of our tribbles to Koloth and his crew but from the yells we couldn't tell who was raping who!
Bones says these critters are all pregnant when they're born. I had just one now I've a thousand maybe more! I have so many now, I know just what to do ( I screwed this line up in the video!) I think I'll start an interstellar heavy petting zoo!
I was on K7 when I saw Mr. Jones I gave him what for and said there's more, I've come to pick a bone.
That tribble that you sold me, it had no hole to screw. "You dope," he said, "You don't screw them! You let those things screw you!"
So grab yourself a tribble and then you're good to go.. If you have enough quadrotriticale you'll have a dozen of them in your hole!
Get your self some Vaseline and slather up your rump. 'Cause the nice things bout these tribes They're fuzzy and they're cute and you can put em in your bum
So go back to your quarters and on your bunk you lay. You hope and pray that on our way we pass a bird of prey
Tribbles hate the Klingons they really make em go. They get irate and they vibrate up in your heiney hole!
So grab yourself a tribble and then you're good to go. If you have enough quadrotriticale you'll have a dozen of them in your hole!
Of all things malign,
An accident on the assembly line today
Cut him to the bone,
"But what can you expect from clumsy 8-year-olds?" I'm told.
Look outside the window.
See the growing crowd
Of kids with missing arms and feet?
Nothing to eat?
What cold heartless beast
Can sit and have his feast every night,
While their plight's always in his sight?
Robber Baron in the tower,
Counting all his gold.
You know while he goes unchecked
And stays in power,
He's never gonna let,
He's never gonna let,
He's never gonna let us go!
Marching in the streets,
The mighty hammer of the Baron's own police.
With their flags and guns,
And guns and drums and boots,
And blood red banners, dogs and guns.
Black-shirts pound the pavement,
With their bold insignias of wolves,
And bats and snakes,
And birds of prey.
Filling us with fear.
Our hearts are full of tears.
Who so vain, for his gain,
Causes so much pain?
Robber Baron in the castle,
Basking in his greed.
You know while he breaks no sweat,
And gets no hassle,
He's never gonna let,
He's never gonna let,
He's never gonna let us free!
Robber Baron in the tower,
Counting all his gold.
You know while he goes unchecked,
And stays in power,
He's never gonna let,
He's never gonna let,
What do you want?
(FREEDOM!)
When do you want it?
(NOW!)
All women are crazy,
All men are dumb.
'Cause though we know they're crazy,
We still want some.
It's nothing new,
And it's sad but true:
That we just can't quit 'em,
And we can't live with 'em,
What's a man to do?
Back in the bible
There was a tree
Lord said to Adam,
"Don't you eat that fruit"
He said, "Fine by me."
But then along came Eve,
Looking to do wrong.
And on account of her curves,
And his lack of nerves,
Adam went along.
'Cause all women are crazy,
All men are dumb.
'Cause though we know they're crazy,
We still want some.
It's nothing new,
And it's sad but true:
That we just can't quit 'em
And we can't live with 'em
What's a man to do?
Take my old lady,
I bought her a gown.
We were fixing
To go out mixing
Out on the town.
She said, "Do I look fat?"
I said, "Heck no!
Just a little round..."
And since that day,
I've walked this way.
It hurts to sit down.
'Cause all women are crazy,
All men are dumb.
'Cause though we know they're crazy,
We still want some.
It's nothing new.
And it's sad but true:
That we just can't quit 'em,
And we can't live with 'em,
What's a man to do?
"---Fellas, there comes a time in every woman's life... About once a month, to be exact. When they get all ornery. Oh, they start kicking and fussing and fighting and... We don't know what's wrong with them. In about a week, they generally come around... And they'll look you right in the eye, too, and they'll say: "I'm sorry, honey, I was just PMSing." Now, ladies, I feel for you, I really do. It's not an easy thing to go through. But since we already know the outcome, I'd like to propose an experiment: Fellas, the next time your woman gets crazy. I'm gonna guess, about a month from now. I want you to look her right in the eye and I want you to ask her "Honey, are you sure you're not just PMSing?" And then grab you're gonna your balls and run for the hills!---"
When I met my lady,
And asked for her hand.
She was the calmest,
And the sweetest girl in all the land.
But then the ring went on,
And she went all wrong.
Like a midnight thriller,
She went BrideZilla,
Spat pea soup and become a killer,
She ate three kids
And my auntie's wig
And the pastor's dog.
Why?!
'Cause all women are crazy,
All men are dumb.
'Cause though we know they're crazy,
We still want some.
It's nothing new,
And it's sad but true:
That we just can't quit 'em,
And we can't live with 'em,
You just can't shoot 'em,
Or you'll end in prison.
And the biker from Hell,
In your prison cell
I was just a tourist the first time I went to Mexico
I was stranger, in danger in a world unknown
A clap of thunder and the ground around me did explode
And the skeletons in dozens come out from that hole
Why? No lie!
It was the Day of the Dead!
Did you hear what I just said?
Oh-oh-ohh
I didn't even know
It was the Day of the Dead!
I tried not to lose my head
Oh-oh-ohh
Way down in Mexico
The place was jumping with carribas playing to and fro
An evil skeleton made of with my beef burrito
They opened the pinata and a swarm of guts went up my nose
I lost all bowel control and I knew that it was time to go
Why? No lie!
It was the Day of the Dead!
Did you hear what I just said?
Oh-oh-ohh
I didn't even know
It was the Day of the Dead!
I tried not to lose my head
Oh-oh-ohh
Way down in Mexico
The locals tell me not to fear
It happens at least once a year
When hell is full the dead will walk the Earth and Apparently they come up here
For the beer!
Why? No lie!
It was the Day of the Dead!
Did you hear what I just said?
Oh-oh-ohh
I didn't even know
It was the Day of the Dead!
I tried not to lose my head
Oh-oh-ohh
Way down in Mexico
Dia de los muertos, el calacas vio
oh-oh-ohh
Y el gringo se asusto
Dia de Los Muertos, el cabron se arrugo
oh-oh-ohh Aqui en Mexico
The Minotaur's my butler
The Cyclops my valet
A Centaur draws my chariot that takes me down the way
Through a river made of fire
To a street that's paved in bones
I got a dozen zombie skeletons to walk me to my throne
In the land of the dead
Heck boy, ain't it grand?
I'm the overlord of the underworld
Cause I hold Horror's Hand
In the land of the dead
I'm darkside royalty
I'm far renowned in the underground
And you can't take that from me
Cerberus my lap dog is loyal as can be
My bed is made of skulls, I'm in the lap of luxury
I've got a Dragon's Blood jacuzzi
the Gorgons think it's cool
And a seven-headed Hydra livin' in my swimmin' pool
In the land of the dead
Heck boy, ain't it grand?
I'm the overlord of the underworld
Cause I hold Horror's Hand
In the land of the dead
I'm darkside royalty
I'm far renowned in the underground
And you can't take that away from me
On the road
It gets so lonely
Far away from home
Every night I cry myself to sleep
I cry a river of tears
And I lie in this bed
And wish that you were here.
9 AM, there's a call on the phone
My agent says "I know you're not alone.
Kick the girl out, son,
There's a car outside
To take you to the airport."
12 PM, I'm on the plane
The stewardess smiles,
'Cause I remembered her name
She asked, "Where're you going?"
And I told her:
"Honey, you should know that it's all the same."
The suit to my left, he gets all riled,
He says: "You're lucky that your life is wild."
And I said: "Hey Man,
That's just what it's like being on the road."
It gets so lonely
Far away from home
Every night I cry myself to sleep
I cry a river of tears
And I lie in this bed
And wish that you were here.
4 PM, I'm at the club
Checking sound in a dingy pub
Then it's back to the room
Where I drink some wine
And take a nap in the tub
12 AM, I hit the stage
The place is packed
And they're on a rage
I finish up with a lovesong,
Standing in the middle of a rain of thongs
Curtains closed and I hit backstage
I said "You better not be underaged!"
To the girl on my lap while
Everyone's taking their tops off
Everyone's taking their tops off
On the road
It gets so lonely
Far away from home
Every night I cry myself to sleep
I cry a river of tears
And I lie in this bed
And wish that you were here.
Naked girls throw themself at you
And you do things you never thought you'd do
All the champagne that you can drink
Man, it stinks, I tell you, it sucks
Being on the road.
4 AM, There's a knock on the door
The afterparty is in the room next door
Willie tells me that
Hank drank all of the beer,
But they're bringing more.
That's about when I hear the scream,
It's the girls from the pagan bikini team
They're undressed to kill
I hear they're rabid fans
And they aim to please
Johnny says that the party's wild,
I say "I'll be there in a while.
As soon as I finish writing
This stupid postcard,
Writing some girl this postcard."
On the road
It gets so lonely
Far away from home
Every night I cry myself to sleep
I cry a river of tears
And I lie - lie - lie - lie -lie -
Lie - lie - lie - lie - lie - lie
Stakes and torches,
Scimitars and bayonets,
Scythes, pitchforks,
A sickle with a sharpened edge.
Swords and spades,
And mallets that are made of lead.
Anything at hand,
Anything they can,
Help us to remove the head
Of that filthy rich,
Fat son of a bitch,
While he's sleeping in his bed.
Storm the steps,
We break into the palace hall.
It's so majestic,
We are frozen in our awe.
Grandmother cries as she crumples to her knees,
says, "I can understand,
That the rich demand,
An amount of luxury.
But I'd have never dreamed,
It was so extreme,
"'T was the worst of times for tinkers like you and me.
So in search of fortune I took to the sea."
"Round my neck, a key you said was to your heart.
Held it desperately as your ship left the dock"
CHORUS:
I can't forget, I won't forgive this sea
for the endless hurt it gave to me.
I want to stab, I want to kill this sea.
Took you away, took you away from me.
"Silks from Singapore, a treasure from Tripoli for you.
And from Suvla Bay, I've scarves for souvenirs."
"Love, your son was born. I wish you could see.
Eyes the same as yours and cries just like me."
CHORUS
"Years have passed - How many, I don't know anymore.
Lost adrift at sea, a storm comes. It's getting cold."
"I stand under moors searching a sea of blue
None of us will soon forget
The Day before those things arrived
In the Churchyard on the hill,
A man had just buried his bride
She returned that day, alive.
There's a silhouette on the horizon
Like an evil stain on the rising sun.
And as it approached, we saw it was her.
And her eyes were red,
She said "You're all dead!",
Then collapsed down to the ground
As if somebody cut her strings.
Fear and anguish reigns
Ever since they came.
We used to walk the streets of town
Now we know we never will again.
Suddenly over the hill
A dog lets out an anguished howl
There ain't a beast this side of Hell
That could've brought on what befell that hound.
He was torn from limb to limb.
There's an evil stench creeping on the wind.
Reeks of pestilence mixed with death and sin.
From over the range that is where we found
Scattered on the ground, fifty heads of steer.
But what's real queer;
We searched all around
No other part was found!
Fear and anguish reigned
Ever since they came.
We used to walk the streets of town
Now we know we never will again.
Some say from the skies they fell.
Others claim they came straight from hell.
Some swear they are from the dark,
Yet others they believe they came
From our angry hearts.
And tonight we ride
Out of desperation.
For the mountainside,
Towards the reservation.
See if they might know
How to stand the tide.
Yet when we arrived
They turn their heads,
And the chief said:
"Now you know how we felt
When the white man came!"
Fear and anguish reigned
Ever since they came.
We used to walk the streets of town
Grab the chair, boys! We've got another bucket kicker!
Happy Birthday my olde friend.
It seems this horror show will never end.
Any moment's your last breath,
Here is to another day closer to death.
The cake is on the table,
And it is awfully bright,
'Cause there's so many candles on top.
But you are so decrepit,
Your chest so tight,
When you blow them out your lungs are gonna pop.
You cannot complain
Each time you feel a pain,
Though you have arthritis and gout.
'Cause when you start kvetching,
All your teeth fall out.
So have another cigarette,
Have another beer,
Raise your glass to one more year. (GONE!)
Happy Birthday my olde friend.
It seems this horror show will never end.
Any moment's your last breath,
Here is to another day closer to death.
Your skin is so worn out and old,
All over your body it's sagging.
Especially loose is your old caboose,
You're dragging it behind you in a wagon.
Well, you're an alcoholic,
And you're blind and deaf,
And you have Alzheimer's I bet.
You're too old to remember,
But you're too drunk to forget.
So have another cigarette,
Have another beer,
Raise your glass to one more year. (GONE!)
Happy Birthday my olde friend.
It seems this horror show will never end.
Any moment's your last breath,
Here is to another day closer to death.
You're so old you smell like dust,
And now your bones begin to rust.
See that face, it's full of wrinkles.
So have another cigarette,
Have another beer,
Raise that chair to one more year. (RAISE!)
Happy Birthday my olde friend.
It seems this horror show will never end.
Any moment's your last breath,
Here is to another day closer to death.
Happy Birthday my olde friend.
It seems this horror show will never end.
Any moment's your last breath,
Here is to another day closer to
Your
Sweet
A bell in a churchyard,
It yells for me to begin.
And my hands they tremble and shake.
While a chill grows under my skin.
It rains in the valley,
It rains from the skies.
And it's raining deep inside my soul,
And it pours up and out of my eyes.
A long ago, you were here in my arms
And I swore I would protect you from harm
Now here we are.
On this hill, 'neath the tree
In the Churchyard at dawn.
How could we've fallen so far?
The earth is a blood-red clay
That cakes to my heels.
And the stain grows heavy as lead,
And my heart it is heavier still.
In a bow there's a raven
And its eyes fix me with a stare.
Then he turns and screams at the sky.
And it burns like the truth in my ears.
Not long ago, you were here in my arms
And I swore I would protect you from harm
Now here we are.
On this hill, 'neath a tree
In the Churchyard at dusk.
How could we've fallen so far?
No one should find out how it feels
Standing here, hoping and praying
You'll awake from this awful ordeal.
No one should find out what it's like
Standing here, digging a hole in which to bury
Your child and your wife.
When they are finished
They look like wombs on a hill
Two graves, they lay side by side
For my life and my lover to fill.
No one should find out how it feels
Standing here, hoping and praying
You'll awake from this awful ordeal
No one should find out what it's like,
Standing here, not having the means
Once, long ago there was a time in what now seems a distant land
Each small boutique was precious and unique
'Cause every little thing was made by hand
Then there came a revolution
The progress of production was its aim
Now instead of one, there are many
And each costs just a penny
But every single one looks just the same
Now there's a Starbucks on every bloody corner
McDonald's on everybody's street
There's White Castle, Wendy's and Walmart
And then it all repeats
If you're the kind that looks down on the masses
Even for your there's a feint
Get some New Rocks or a pair of Docs
Look just like those who ain't
(Chorus)
And that is how (Tell us how)
It came to be (How can it be?)
After two long centuries
That in the name (What's in a name?)
Of human greed
The industrial revolution fixed everything for me
And so now if one does will with a business
They open two more and then three
They buy in bulk in big massive hulks
At which point it's nearly free
As they grow bigger their prices get lower
Until they become a chain
The smaller stores all shutter their doors and buckle 'neath the strain
(Chorus)
And that is how (Tell us how)
It came to be (How can it be?)
After two long centuries
That in the name (What's in a name?)
Of human greed
The industrial revolution fixed everything for me
(Everyone)
It came into our lives and gave us uniformity by taking choice away from you (and me)
(By taking choice away from you. Taking choice away from me. Taking choice away from you and me)
(Chorus)
And that is how (Tell us how)
It came to be (How can it be?)
After two long centuries
That in the name (What's in a name?)
Of human greed
The industrial revolution fixed everything for me
(For every bloody one)
It came into our lives and gave us uniformity by taking choice away from you (and me)
(By taking choice away from you. Taking choice away from me. Taking choice away from you and me)
Now the machines are working tirelessly
Through all night and day
Making garbage in our image
For a world that's made our way
And they won't stop until every inch
From Peru to Bombay
A gargantuan hole in the bow, will the ocean to enter allow.
Oh but more a sin than letting it in it's letting our good fortune out.
The nest to the storm did succumb, while the crow hid his fear in the rum.
And the mast, it broke and threw out the bloke and well now he's surely my chum.
Love letters from under his bed, holds the cabin boy over his head
A futile try to keep it dry what tears have already wet.
They were penned by a girl in Merak, and the Javanese value their tact.
She'll conclude he's horribly rude 'cause he's sure as hell not writing back.
(Chorus)
'Cause this ship's going down
All on account of the weather
Though we'll drown
There's no need to frown
'Cause we're all going together
And I won't say "Woe is me"
As I disappear into the sea
'Cause I'm in good company
As we're all going together
I've had women of every kind, but the only one truly was mine
Is the one at home who'll be alone when I am full-up with brine.
For my son I had always a plan, for to raise him as best as I can.
Oh well you can bet, my only regret is to not see him grow to a man.
(Chorus)
'Cause this ship's going down
All on account of the weather
Though we'll drown
There's no need to frown
'Cause we're all going together
And I won't say "Woe is me"
As I disappear into the sea
'Cause I'm in good company
As we're all going together
I was sinking down into the brine, when a curious sight caught my eye.
Seaman Shaft had found him a raft and was makin' a speedy goodbye.
At the risk of sounding absurd, I have always been good as my word.
So a fish gig, I lanced into his eye and I knocked his ass overboard.
(Chorus)
'Cause this ship's going down
All on account of the weather
Though we'll drown
There's no need to frown
'Cause we're all going together
And I won't say "Woe is me"
As I disappear into the sea
Oh hell!
'Cause you've all been so good to me
I... find it very very scary
To be diggin' in a cemetery
In a cool Jamaican breeze
There's a zombie; I set him free
I let him loose from his grave
Kingston-town is no more safe
An experiment malign
With a reggae Frankenstein
Reggae Mortis!
I think I've got Reggae Mortis
Hell I hope it's not Reggae Mortis
I'm stiff in the knees
JAH! Damn this disease...
Reggae Mortis!
I think I've got Reggae Mortis
Hell I hope it's not Reggae Mortis
I'll get to the point:
It's messing up my joint(s).
Now, as I stand here on this cliff
With a zombie who is miffed
I gotta ask myself "What if
"I were to give that stiff a spliff?"
Reggae Mortis!
I think I've got Reggae Mortis
Hell I hope it's not Reggae Mortis
I'm stiff in the knees
JAH! Damn this disease...
Reggae Mortis!
I think I've got Reggae Mortis
Hell I hope it's not Bella Morte
Won't leave me alone
There was once an accordion player who didn't go to war.
His mother said I know all you wanna do is play but can't you see what's going on?
It's not about you anymore,
It's not about you anymore.
It's not about you anymore,
It's not about you anymore.
It's not about you anymore,
It's not about you anymore.
And so he stayed and played at home until they burned it down.
And when he had no bench to sit on he would just sit on the ground.
And when he held his wounded friend in his arms and death was all around.
He said,
It's not about you anymore,
It's not about you anymore.
It's not about you anymore,
It's not about you anymore.
It's not about you anymore,
It's not about you anymore.
Oh Mother, I could die a hero and bring glory to our home.
And what would you do in a house full of glory if you had to live there alone,
Live there alone, live there alone...
So I'd rather play this song.
Well I went down to Mos Eisley for a converter
Hell you know how hot it gets on Tatooine
Well then I saw that there cantina
I'll go in for an Orangina
I heard it was rough, but how bad could it be?
Well I walked through the door, and the music stopped (dead... [Gulp])
All manner of men and beasts were staring at me
Seems just one week before,
Their Twi'lek slave girl walked out the door
And I guess I was the next best thing they'd seen
I lost more than my heart in that Cantina
I left my manhood there on Tatooine
Son, it don't mean you're weak
If you turn the other cheek
But if you spread 'em both for Jabba, son, you ain't a man
I was hit over the head by ol' Han Solo
I'd done never guessed that pirate was a homo
I woke up next to Chewbacca
I was smeared in wookie caca
And what they did to my poor nipples was a no-no
Oh Greedo greedily grabbed his green weenie
And he yanked that sucker 'til it wasn't so teeny
He pulled me into Jabba's hut
He stared intently at my butt
And then he oo-ta-too-ta'ed me with his zucchini
I lost more than my heart in that Cantina
I left my manhood there on Tatooine
Son, it don't mean you're weak
If you turn the other cheek
But if you spread 'em both for Jabba, son, you ain't a man
Take it away, boys...
(band instrumental)
Well the guy walked up and said, "My friend doesn't like you".
(I said, "Sorry.")
He said "I don't like you either, you better watch yourself."
(I think his name was Tom Waits)
Then some old dude who taught Vader
Chopped his arm off with a saber
That later made for one red hot anal invader
(Owwww...)
I was broken on the floor beat to a stupor
Then I was saved there at the door were ten stormtroopers
But then my hope faded away
I didn't know they cloned 'em gay
And they each took turns stormtroopin' me in the pooper
I lost more than my heart in that Cantina
I left my manhood there on Tatooine
Son, it don't mean you're weak
If you turn the other cheek
A darkness falls over the land
Enslaves with a wave of its hand
And I try to see
The light through the disease
I tried to get up on my feet
Been so long, shackled down on my knees
For somewhere deep inside, I know
That fate favors the bold
So tonight, I'm riding a black unicorn
Down the side of an erupting volcano
And I drink, drink, drink
From a chalice filled
With the laughter of small children
When darkness is drowning your soul
And makes you feel alone in the cold
Find me, and grab ahold
This chalice, it overflows
So tonight, you're riding a black unicorn
Down the side of an erupting volcano
And you drink, drink, drink
From a chalice filled
With the laughter of small children
Lords of strength and gods of might
Hand over the reins
Bless our path, that tonight
We find the will to break these chains
And ride!
So tonight, we're riding our black unicorns
Down the side of an erupting volcano
And we drink, drink, drink
From a chalice filled
With the laughter of small children
There's a pilot impaled to the wing
and he's Dead!
And all the passengers, they are missing
'cause they're Dead!
Oh someone tell me why
I'm alive I don't even care
And yet I have been spared
There's a girl with a hole in her heart
and she's Dead!
And there's an infant who's been torn apart
now he's Dead!
Oh, someone tell me why
I'm alive I don't even pray
And yet I have been saved
The good reverend Carlin was right,
he said When you pray
Only 50% of the time will you get your way
If God doesn't listen to our cries when we call
Someone tell me what's the point of praying at all
There's a man and he lives in the sky
So they said
And he watches us all of the time
So I've read
So someone tell me why
it could be he won't talk to me
Could it be that I'm deaf?
The good reverend Carlin was right,
he said "When you pray..."
"Only 50% of the time will you get your way"
If God doesn't listen to our cries when we call
Someone tell me what's the point of praying at all
God is all-knowing
And God is all-seeing
Just who do you think that you are
to change his mind
He already knows what you want
And decided that you didn't need it
So don't bother asking for cures or an answer
Gather weary travelers,
I have a tale to tell.
It might just save your lives but only if you listen well.
'Cause there before the breakers
And just around the way,
There's a sign that says,
"Beware The Beast of Pirate's Bay!"
Some say he's a guppy a kid threw in the sea.
He ate so many sailors, now he's bigger than a tree.
His teeth are sharp as scissors
His claws, they are like knives.
And if you think he's ugly, wait 'til you see his insides!
(Chorus)
Oh, don't you sail and don't you row and certainly don't you swim,
'Cause if you aren't careful you'll end up inside of him.
He'll eat you up, he'll spit you out. You'd better stay away.
Heed the sign that says, "Beware the Beast of Pirate's Bay!"
Some say he's a serpent that came straight from hell,
He came to eat the souls of pirates and other ne'er-do-wells.
Some they don't believe it, as for me I've got a hunch.
'Cause they used to have some pirates here.
But he ate them all for lunch!
(Chorus)
Well, Captain Hook, you've heard of him, he came to Pirate's Bay.
It seems his little nemesis had nearly got away.
He reached into the water to grab at Peter Pan.
There was a crunch and a scream!
And now that scurvy captain's got hooks on both his hands!
(Chorus)
Well, Blackbeard the Pirate, you know for what he's feared.
It's mostly for the dark, imposing color of his beard.
He saw the beast and now nobody's scared of him because,
His beard turned white and all agree,
He looks like Santa Claus.
(Chorus)
Well, now the tavern's empty and there's only you and me.
And if you care I'd like to share how this song came to be.
So come a little closer if you really want to know.
This very sad and woeful tale happened so long ago.
Well, I was just a little boy when I went to Pirate's Bay
And there I saw a creature that was very much dismayed.
With a harpoon in his dorsal fin and a hook stuck in his side,
This mighty whale was in such pain, we both began to cry.
I pushed and I shoved, but he wouldn't give way
Into the deeper waters off our shallow Pirate's Bay.
All I could do to help him was to keep people away,
So I wrote a sign that said, "Beware The Beast of Pirate's Bay!"
And what did it say?
Don't you sail and don't you row and certainly don't you swim,
'Cause if you aren't careful you'll end up inside of him.
He'll eat you up, he'll spit you out. You'd better stay away.
Heed the sign that says, "Beware."
Hell I should know, I put it there!
I was alone, and I needed a date
I was takin' a walk past the cemetery gate
When I saw a sign that said
"For a good time take a left down at Tombstone Number 8"
Went through the gateway, and I'm pretty sure I
Saw some eyes peepin' out of a sepulcher,
I took a step into the Tomb of Ill Repute
That's where I met her, the Zombie Prostitute
I grabbed her left breast, and I'm pretty sure I tore it
I said, "go down," but she didn't have the stomach for it
Her teeth fell out, and her tongue fell out to boot,
But all in all, she was a rotten kind cute.
While I was tense, it was plain to see
A sort of rigor mortis was comin' over me
I didn't want to see it, but I just had to believe it
I had a stiffy for the stiff in front of me.
Morally, I'm destitute
In the Tomb of Ill repute
She's a rotten kinda cute
For a Zombie Prostitute.
Now I'm fallin' apart from my head down to my toes,
I don't know which of my organs is the next to go
I've been such a sleaze since she gave me the disease
Wouldn't you know, now I'm a Zombie Gigolo
I took my first client on a date
We took a walk to the cemetery gate
I got under her slip, but then, I heard a rip
I pulled it out, and I said..."baby, keep the tip"
Morally, I'm destitute
In the Tomb of Ill repute
She's a rotten kind'a cute
I was on a cruise ship out at sea, my fiancée and me
The ship went down, everybody drowned
And I was just glad the sea didn't swallow me
Oh, I was in distress, 'cause my hair was such a mess
And so I washed up on a beach
Nine hungry eyes were staring down at me.
I'm in the middle of the Cannibal Buffet
I'm feeling well; they like me that way
See, if you really wanna know what's eatin' me
It's the man-eaters on the coast of Barbary
(ooh ah ooh, ooh ah ooh, ooh ah ooh, ooh ah ooh)
Oh, trouble was afoot - they were eatin' mine
Toein' the party line,
I was startin' to feel, "these guys are heels"
But, the truth be told, these cannibals have got sole
Hey, numbskull, look at me, I got a bone to pick with thee
You ain't humerus, stop ribbin' me
Have a spine, bone up on settin' me free
I'm in the middle of the Cannibal Buffet
I'm feelin' rare; they like me that way
See, if you really wanna know what's eatin' me
It's the man-eaters on the coast of Barbary
Missionaries came to this place
They taught us manners
Now we cannibals always say grace...
(Thank you God for this weiner we're about to eat, and the
sweet buns we're about to stick it in)
AND THEN WE EAT YOUR FACE!
(ooh ah ooh, ooh ah ooh, ooh ah ooh, ooh ah ooh)
I'm in the middle of the Cannibal Buffet
I'm feeling rare; they like me that way
See, if you really wanna know what's eatin' me
It's the man-eaters on the coast of Barbary
It's the man-eaters on the coast of Barbary
It's the man-eaters ... on the coast of Barbary!
[[Spoken] Alright girls, come on. Move it along.Don't dilly-dally, Men are waiting.]
Gentlemen!
Come on in, right on in,
To our temple of sin,
The sensual land, sublime
With multiple versions
Of every perversion
And women of every kind
If you're a fellow
Who likes a bordello
With something on for a change,
Two dollars more,
You can have a dead whore
We specialize in the strange
If you get lucky this evening
And one takes you up for a whirl
Might I suggest you look under the dress
‘Cause we can't tell the boys from the girls here!
Tragedy! At the cathouse tonight!
Come and see
Why we like to call our cathouse
Tragedy!
What a curious sight!
Our female selection
Is not quite perfection
It's like biting into a bitter confection
At Cathouse Tragedy!
There's an Asian albino
And as far as I know
She has the prosthetic eye
And if you approve it
She'll gladly remove it
If you tire of her thighs
Don't be alarmed
By the girl with no arms
She's actually quite a treat
And if you wanna
She'll peel your banana
She's bloody good with her feet!
If you get lucky this evening
And one takes you up for a spin
Might be suggestin'
A lamby intestine
You don't know where these girls have been!
Tragedy! At the cathouse tonight!
Come and see
Why we like to call our cathouse
Tragedy!
It's a curious sight!
Our female selection
Is not quite perfection
It's like biting into a bitter confection
At Cathouse Tragedy!
They called you pretty
In your hometown
Not to be petty,
But here in the city,
You're not all that pretty,
You're lucky we keep you around!
Now get back to work!
Come on in to the cathouse!
We've got pussies of every kind!
We have black, white and yellow and red ones!
And only one or two are feline!
I'm your benevolent MC
And I'm here to make sure they behave
Sure, they smell like cheese
And they're full of disease,
But just think of the money you'll save!
Tragedy! At the cathouse tonight!
Come and see
Why we like to call our cathouse
Tragedy!
It's a curious sight!
Our female collection
Is not quite perfection
It's like biting into a bitter confection
At Cathouse Tragedy!
At the Cathouse Tragedy!
This artist does not want the lyrics to this song
be posted on the internet. We respect this decision
and have removed the lyrics from our archive.
In a café
On the Champs-Élysées
I saw a girl the other day
I was beguiled
'Til I saw her smile
It was a gash across her face
Not long ago, she found that she was alone
So she wandered into the vaudeville show
She should've known it'd be bad,
She saw the name that it had:
The Straight Razor Cabaret
The first act was a stripper
And the host looked like Jack the Ripper
But the audience was dreary
So he slashed them smiles from ear to ear
He used a straight razor,
'Cause he's a face-raper
And there's nothing he hates more
Than a stick in the mud
And if he tells a joke,
You better laugh 'til you choke
At the Straight Razor Cabaret
When I went down to Camden Town
I saw a man reading the Bible
I won't in haste describe his face
For I might be sued for libel
Not long ago, he found that he was alone
So he wandered into the vaudeville show
He should've known he'd be maimed
When he discovered the name:
The Straight Razor Cabaret
While a strumpet stroked a donkey
The host juggled five dead monkeys
But the audience was snobs
So he took a knife right to their gobs
He used a straight razor,
'Cause he's a face-raper
And there's nothing he hates more
Than a stick in the mud
And if he does a trick
You better laugh until you're sick
At the Straight Razor Cabaret
They call him straight razor
'Cause he's a face-raper,
And there's nothing he hates more
Than a stick in the mud
If he pulls a gaffe
You better bloody up and laugh,
At the Straight Razor Cabaret
At the Straight Razor Cabaret
You better look down and shake your head
Look down and shake your head
Get down and shake a leg
Get down and shake a leg
Jump down and wake the dead
Jump down and wake them
Oh Lord! Oh Lord!
(2x)
Oh Lord! Can it be true?
These things they say about you
Oh what am I to do?
Oh Lord
When I look out of my window
Everything I see
Is hate and murder, stabbin',
Stealin', rape and larceny
Well I heard that you can stop it Lord
But you just let it be
It make you look down and shake your head
They act like rabid monkeys
Chained up in a zoo
And the Bible says that each of us
Is modeled after you
Well hell, that should offend you Lord
If it does, here's what you do
You ought to look down and shake your head
Look down and shake your head
Get down and shake a leg
Get down and shake a leg
Jump down and wake the dead
Jump down and wake them
Oh Lord! Oh Lord!
Oh Lord, can't you see?
What this has done to me?
I've lost my faith in thee
Woes me.
Well the preacher on the TV
He tells me if I'm poor
I should give him all my money
Cause the Lord will give me more
Well I saw him wink and
Drag a sack of cash on out the door
Well, he bought himself a Cadillac
And now I got less than before!
Look down and shake your head
Look down and shake your head
Get down and shake a leg
Get down and shake a leg
You better jump down and wake the dead
Jump down and wake them
Oh Lord! Oh Lord!
(2x)
They say you'll bring down Armageddon
They say you'll break the Seventh Seal
Well I hope you bring down Armageddon
Cause through the fire and the brimstone
At least I'll finally know you're real
Real, real, real! Oh!
Oh Lord! How can it be?
That you won't talk to me?
Oh woe, woe's me, poor me
Look down and shake your head
Look down and shake your head
Get down and shake a leg
Get down and shake a leg
You better jump down and wake the dead
Jump down and wake them
Oh Lord! Oh Lord!
(2x)
People on the street, they're ugly, mean and rude
They're bumping into me, they're bumping into you
They never say "excuse me" or "how do you do".
Oh lord
Oh lord
I swear to you the next fool who come shootin' his mouth off
'Bout his almighty friend up in the sky
He's gonna get a mighty load of me when I sound off
In the way of kick right in his eye
You're like my landlord in this hovel where I sit
I always pay my rent but you ain't never fixing shit (shut yo' mouth!)
You should take a look around Lord, your world is just the pits
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