Andy Lorek

Her: So you're meeting a Twitter friend at a Japanese sake bar again? Me: Yep Her: What's your plan to avoid throwing up in our living room?

Drunk-ish

@mccv unfortunately all I can think of are 4 letter words

There's a Wilfred Owen poem somewhere about my dog's farts #GasGasQuickBoys

@mallyvai I don't know what "frontback" is, but I'm guessing it's illegal in Alabama

@TRUEBE the rest of the time I'm blissfully strolling through life and then BAM, I'm freakin Hodor on live TV.

More excited for the XBox One release than any newly launched Apple device.

@stop I feel like P.M. Dawn should be playing in the background

@DanaDanger @mccv however the Hooters is completely predictable

It's starting to depress me that my entire workout at the gym consists of rehab exercises.

@meangrape my advice: eat everything and bring some Cipro.

American football players are identified by their university. English footballers are identified by the pub they were conceived in.

@rk @squarecog VAMPYR!

@phopkins @noahlt still haunted by 500 @kebabshopNNN test accounts