and now we proudly present
songs perverse and songs loment?
a couple hymns of confession
the songs that recognize our sick obsessions
so sing along, we're on the ugly organ
awake, alone
in a woman's room i hardly know
i wake alone
pretend that i am finally home
the room is littered
with the books and notebooks
i imagine what they say
i...shoe fly don't bother me
and i can hardly get myself out of this bed
for fear of never lying in this bed again
oh christ, i'm not that desperate
oh no, oh god, i am
how'd i end up here to begin with?
i don't know
why do i start what i can't finish?
oh, please don't barage me with the questions
to all those lovely answers
my ego's like my stomach
it keeps shitting what i feed it
but maybe i don't want to finish anything anymore
maybe i can wait in bed till she get's home
and whispers, you're in my web now
i've come to wrap you up tight till it's time to bite down
awake alone in a woman's room i hardly know
i wake alone and pretend that i am finally home
home
I've decided tonight I'm staying alive just kicking & screaming
Blood boiling & steaming
There are things far too dark to comprehend
Sleep on it one more night my sad old friend
Doo do Doo do Doo do Doo do
The worst is over.
and now we proudly present
songs perverse and songs of lament
a couple hymns of confession
and song that recognize our sick obsessions
so sing along, i'm on the ugly organ again
sing along, i'm on the ugly organ
so let's begin
there's no use to keep a secret
everything i hide ends up in lyrics
so read on, accuse me when you're done
if it soudns like i did you wrong
our father who art in heaven
save me from the wreck i'm about to drown in
didn't i learn anything
counting out my sins on rosery beads?
"Now I can't stop the monster I've created"
He swam steadily for most of the day. Suddenly he found
himself approaching an enormous huge floating cavern.
Could it be an island? Pinocchio looked closed and he
saw two hige rows of sharp, yellow teeth and he realized
his mistake.
so he would sulk and drink and mope
and cross his arms and hope to die
and then a fairy came one night
to bring this sorry boy to life
she pulled some strings, spilled him about
that boy jumped up and began to shout,
my arms my legs my heart my face
they are alive
and she would cry, liar liar
what have i done
you're no lover and i'm no figher
the story goes on
so he would buy her things kiss her hair
to show he was for real
and she would take those gifts and kisses
though just stringing him along
she knew about those wooden boys
they take empty love to fill the void
pinocchio, oh boy, how your nose has grown
so he would cry, liar liar
i'll prove it to you
but then it grew
he had grown tired of her so it was true
he left her apartment
and he walked all night long
till he was stopped by the shore of the ocean
but still he walked on
among the whales and waves
and screamed liar liar
and his wooden body floated away
he just drifted away
and now i wonder how i was made
my arms my legs my heart my face
my name is driftwood
there's a time and a place
this is neither the time nor place
where do i fit in
in this jig-saw of a relationship
why should i play the fall-guy to love
i keep getting snubbed
what dumb luck, what dumbe luck
so rub it in with your dumb lyrics
yeah that's the time and place
to wring out your bullshit
and each album i get shit on a little more
who's tim's latest whore?
now, that's not fair
no that's just obscene
i'll stop speaking for you if you stop speaking for me
i'm writing songs to entertain
but these people they just want
they...they just want pain
they want to hear my deepest sins
the songs from the ugly organ
and what comes out is a horrible mess
songs i can't forget, what's been said
and this guilt i can't shed
still rings in my ears, again at the butcher's knife
i've been screaming for years but it gets me nowhere
just get out the butcher's knife
that organ's playing my song
but the song's gone on to long
what a day to sever such ugly extremities
what a lovely day, says the butcher as he raises his arm
...and i am what is left: a puppet. Laughing at the look
of amazement on the musician's face, pinocchio dove
of the cliff and swam away.
There's a ghost in my bed
she cries in her sleep
she says I won't let her leave
I lie perfectly still
as she stifles her tears
I don't want to disturb her
'Let go, let go - please let me be
Look at the ghost you've made of me'
Dush dropped her starry gown
I whispered out
"Sweetie, are you here with me?"
the mirror chrashed on the dresser
and she began to scream
"Bloody murderer! Let me rest in peace!"
"When I was yours, you fled the scene,
now you can't wash your hands of me."
Bloody murder
You can't here the screams
cut it out
your self-inflicted pain
is getting too routine
the fans are catching on
to the self-afflicted song
so here we go again: the anabashed weak
fall in love to fail
to boost your cd sales
and that cd sells
yeah what a hit
you've got to repeat it
you gotta sink to swim
first you don't, you don't succeed
you gotta recreate your misery
you all know art is hard
yeah, the artists have gotta starve
try and fail and try again
the comforts of repetition
keep churning out those hits
till it's all the same old shit
oh, a second verse
well, color me fatigued
i'm hiding in the leaves of the cd jacket sleeves
tired of entertaining some double-deaf meaning
a soft served analogy
those drunken, angry slurs
yeah, thirty one letters
gotta sink, gotta sink, gotta sink to swim
emerse yourself in rejection
regurgitate some sorry tale
about a boy who sells his love affairs
gotta fake fake fake the pain
gotta make make make the scene
gotta break break break a leg when you get on stage
and they scream your name:
oh kasher, he's so cool
gotta sink gotta sink gotta sink to swim
the person the grave to exist
cuz we all know art is hard
and we don't know who we are
Your gentleman caller,
well, he's been calling on another
he loves his forbidden fruit.
And as it dribbles down his chin
he cries, "Baby, I've been drinking with some friends! Now how 'bout a little
kiss..."
Bad boy!
Rub his nose in it!
What a mess
and he's playing dumb
"Doo do doo..."
"I'm not looking for a loverm
all those lovers are liars...
I'd never lie to you
You say you want to get even?
Yeah, you want to get
your bad man good?
Well, are you in the mood?
You bad girl!
Does it feel good being bad?
And getting worse?
"Doo do doo..."
But in the morning
on the sober dawn of Sunday
you're not sure what you have done
Who told you love was fleeting?
Sometimes men can be so misleading
to take what they need from you
Whatever you need to make you feel
like you've been the one behind the wheel
the sunrise is just over that hill
the worst is over
Whatever I said to make you think
that love's the religion of the weak
this morning we love like weaklings
the worst is over.
The worst is over.
A safe position -- a back against the wall
A simple shrug to shurg the questions off
When there's no action, there's no reaction
Curb the dead, avert the consequence
So if no one moves, and no one speaks a word
We could act OK
(We must standstill -- we must honor the stalemate)
And we must slumber... have we ever been awake?
Have we done a thing?
When summer's over will we dream of spring?
Safety can be disabling
A crippled history as an absentee
A safe position -- turn off the phone
Hang the blankets over the windows
'Cause if no one's home, then there's no one responsible
There's no response for disappointed eyes
To see through you -- well, they can't see you anymore
(We must standstill -- we must honor the stalemate)
Until we're pawned off... have we ever been present?
Are we too past tense?
When summer's over will we face autumn?
Safety is disabling
A crippled history
Crippled history
A crippled history...
Absentee... absentee... You're safe with me
Curb the deed, avert the season
Absentee... absentee... You're safe with me
When summer's over will you dream of your crippled history
Crippled history
Crippled history
Crippled history
Absentee... When summer's over will you dream of your crippled history
Crippled history
Crippled history
Crippled history
Absentee...
Watching cars
Will anyone stop for us?
Or will we be passed by
Be passed on
The day passes away
The moment cracks along the sidewalk
And we're alone
Imagining what songs would be on our soundtrack
Maybe it's me
I've lost faith in visibility
On this street we are ghosts of the passers-by
Passive and stranded
The clouds are closing on
It's a storm watch, so beware
These cars have been known to capsize in strong winds
We've lost transmission...
We've lost transmission...
Don't tell me this is how it ends
Don't tell me this is how it ends
Words have no feeling without loaded meanings
Words take too long to come across
Meanings are meant for defining defintions
We load them for efect, it's cheap but it's working
It's the best I've got to get your attention
I could never get your attention
I could never please you
The verses are wasted on words you won't relate to
On words you'll never hear
It's not working -- I don't feel any better
I don't feel so well
The verbal breakdown has failed
So I'm whispering secrets
Hush, hush, on the loudspeaker
Words sculpted on verse become absurd
But it's the best I've got to get your attention
I could never get your attention
I could never please you
Words so sympathetic -- symphonic, yet pathetic -- are tossed on to the song
The meaning is lost...
The meaning is lost...
Words... just... won't... work...
Words... are... slowly demeaning their meanings
Words... make... things... worse
Words... are... always repeating
Losing their meaning
These words failed
Words fail
Wind blown
A semi capsized in the storm
Stranded
The rains of June have cleansed it
A baptism of sufferage
Take two
One man beneath a waning moon
Still birth
The abortive child of entropy
Careening for identity
Tempt him
Break him in slowly
His heart is quick to judge
But his hands are too lonely
Break him in slowly...
Red dawn
Another storm opens her arms
She's whispering
"Surrender all your loyalties"
Hand over your idle hands of false idols
Let the rains embrace you
Now...
Break them in slowly
Young hearts are quick to judge
But their hands are so lonely
Break them in slowly...
Break them in slowly...
Since I wrote this am I the culprit
These useless wisdoms I dispense
At your expense
Picture postcards
A three minute essay
Some scribbled words to four line verse
Meanwhile, we mean well
We cannot escalate or escape this
So let's pretend our little songs are more than songs
More like sermons
Attention, attention
That's all we're asking for
Our little songs are our little whores
Jukebox cupids -- and the medium's a trend
The music lends itself to it -- to itself
The lyrics bend to make the song
Attention, attention
Don't tell me that's all we're writing for
Picture postcards
Three minute essays
We can never fit in what we want to say
Let's get one thing straight: we don't have any answers
We are proposals in a cosmic nursery
And these massive stars -- they're just little twinkles
If I can't possess them at such magnificence
So if you can really hear me,
And you think you really believe in it
Then there must be some kind of privelege here
To putter around with such an existence
And if you see me on some stage
And you really believe it's me over there
Well, there's a chance it's not really me
Maybe we're not ourselves at all
And maybe being is simply believing that each breath we take in
Must lead to another breath out, one more breath yesterday
From yesterday -- and a timeline of yesterdays
Filled in with love or with pain or whatever bullshit we smear on our sleeves
I've found my cause, and this is it --
There are no answers
Am I what I am? Is that what this is? Is this all there is
Northern winds came whistling through evergreens
Like trains
One temper broods until a temperature breaks
And blooms -- smashing and tearing what we've worked toward
One hand will break what the other hand builds
Board the windows up, keep the cellar locked
We'll feign restraint until it's over and settled
Our wills are just as strong as the walls we built for them
I won't rebuild what I have crumbled
I'm tired
Tired
What is faith -- it's been replaced by insurance policies
Once one thing breaks just have it replaced
Like faith... once whistled through the trees
Now so still
One hand will break what the other hand builds
Board the windows up, keep the cellar locked
You never know when little fevers could flare up
For ever day it's calm, there must be be something brewing
There's always something storming through these evergreens
Like trains
Northern winds came...
Northern winds came...
Crashing...
And burning down our wills
New years ago
We drank and danced and left our sour hearts behind
We sweetened for a kiss --
The kiss of a new year to come
But those days are gone
We never got resolution -- it never comes
All the best wishes were blown
So blow out your candles -- the year won
So long, to longing for the ressurrection of an unbrindled wantonness
Break in the new year...
Break in the new year...
Break in the new year...
Break in the new year...
Fear
Whipped us in shape
We must stay afraid -- our new god is discipline
New, but hardly improved, it's just new cliches
"They might nail your hands, but your neck has been saved"
So break in the new year with a vintage wine
Here's to aging, when some things just get bitter with age
And other are made to be broken
Broken
Broken in...
We're disciples of discipline
Sweetened for the kiss...
Off
Please hang my raincoat
I guess that I'll stay a while
While I wait on the return
It seems the distance you've made
Has since lost its meaning
Meanwhile, I've meant to ration my thoughts
To help quicken this sloth driven day
As I wait, my joints slowly stiffen
They're warning me that something is nearing
Disaster...
Disaster...
Hailstorm...
Memories like fireflies
A green hue of imagery
But much too random to see clearly
And I don't recall much between you and me
Grey and cloudy
This tragedy plays itself over again in my mind
What's my line
Where are the cue cards
Memorize my actions, my discourse
Like a discontented fool...
This just won't do
It's no use
These crushing days
Absence made your heart bruise
You're all bruise
You're all bruise
When we were burning
These stained walls would swell with passion
Our sweat warped the wooden floorboards
You'd kick out the nightlight
And let the moon bleed through the window
Draping over naked bodies
We're killing time
Trying to love
What we can't find
But who does?
A drier heat than we know blistered me badly
We've all been burning out
I'll have a Gibson
My throat is dry from screaming blindly
At the wishing stars that wrecked me
They kinged me naive
Now I keep the nightlight on and watch the sweat drip from the ceiling
These summer nights
The streetlights burst flames
They screech too bright
They scream blind
A drier heat than we know blistered me badly
We've all been burning out
A drier heat than we know blistered me badly
We've all been burning... out
Warp the wooden floor
Kick out the light, kick off the bedsheets, and let the moon bleed in
Warp the wooden floor
Kick out the light, kick off the bedsheets, and let the moon bleed in
Staring up at stars
From the back seat of a stationwagon
Carving the night
Trees keep marching by
Light poles blur into a stream
Blazing laser beams
All...
These...
Stars....
My thoughts are trivial pursuits
My heart's a bomb that's been defused
What now?
There's no more use for me
I'm wasting energy
Muscles are weaklings
Thoughts just defeat me
Numbness is effortless
I could get used to this
Driving through Vermont
Overwhelmed by the insignificance
My conscience was my crutch
For a heightened existence
This other wordliness
These...
Schoolboy...
Lies....
I've been deprived reality
Brought up by holy ghosts and saints
What now?
I'm the delinquent here
I'm the contagious one
This heart is hopeless
I feel the numbness
All Hail The Atheist
I could get used to this
I could get used to this
I could get used to this
I could get used to this
"Bon Voyage"
And promptly he hung up the phone
There was a doorbell ringing
So he snuck out onto the terrace
He said "If these were my last words,
would they even make print?
If all I had to say was simply over said
by those old heretics."
These words are counterfeit
Xeroxed off of memory
And no one's listening
Hey
Twilight dawns
All the champagne is gone
All that's left is left behind
Doorbells, still lives
"Since you're leaving
was it a hollowed out heart?
It seems like you've been yearning for some wordly position.
Somewhere you can curl up in a little ball."
It seems the world collapses
In the mother's womb
The place of birth
Where we're all condemned
It's the warm, sad, jaded end
Starving for salvation of a terrace
Drunk, tired, and alone
Farewell dead skin
These words are second-hand
They're dry
They're cracked-plastic lies
They're cheap old whores
Who wasted their lives
In search of the warmest womb
Less talk, more dancing
If we could push off the sick conversation one more night
I surely would
My shoes have gathered the dust of the vineyard
Have I soiled your gown?
There's soil on your gown, like sangria
Cleanses the heart
Our clogged hearts are choking on the grime
As the big band waltzes on
Your stranded eyes whisper...
"The dirt is out.
I can smell her on your velvet hands."
The dirt is out --
are we stuck in the motions again?
Oh, but was it sweet
In the vineyard
Sangria, won't you bless
The starving lips
Such virgin lips
Would choke on all this grime
I've found some dirt under my nails
I'll scratch and bite until...
The dirt is out
but sangria burns under my skin
The dirt is out --
I thought I'd never wash these hands again
Under my skin....
There's no use going to Des Moines
I heard it's just like here
I guess it's just like everywhere
As for us, I guess we're not immune
Look at our same plain face
Still I assume this subject identity
Shared with all the kids that qualify
And that's a pretty high percentage to embrace
But easier to clasify
'Cause all my friends are in the same target group
And all of them look like all of you
And they're restless in standstill
But they don't know where to go
They don't know...
I wish
I could dissappear
My unwhole self
Away from here
Away from here... NOW!
I don't want to let it sit around
Just make it go away
Let it cure itself, let it be a cure for us
And if I never leave this hole
Make sure you bury me here with all my dead friends
We'll make a toast to the ones who ran away
Just get me through...
Just get me through...
Just get me through....
Our mistakes are scrawled upon the chalkboard
They're scribed across stained glass
They're posted on the billboards
A lackluster charade
And are we so naive to concede these forefathers?
Apparently we are
Well, apparently it's true
There's no slot machines past the pearly gates
Why do we kid ourselves?
We grow old and wise
We just lose our minds
The dinner is a hit
The guests are full of spirits
They gather around the husband
He's versed in party tricks
The wife is in the bedroom
Smearing her makeup, makeup, make it up
But she's got a lover on the side
Motels, cheap wine
She says "You can't base love off the pity fuck,
unless they've got a lot of money."
'Cause it's the games that we play
'Cause we need to exist
We're not humans, we're citizens
It's the one on the ground
With his hands on his heart
It's the cleavage of division
It's all jagged and jaded
But it suits us
We just fake it through
Clad.
I'm wearning thin my invitation.
I'll wear it out
But it's just eight light minutes I'm offering you
We could burn up so close
We could burn to our cores.
Burn to our cores.
Sweating with confidence
They're soiling our egos
And we're locked at the hip
Don't cut the too short
You've cut yourself off
I thought we agreed
No limb should be left
So severed and bleeding
What are you missing?
What are you missing?
A truth so disabling
Might blind my starving eyes
But weren't we locked at the hip?
You've cut the cord so short
What are you missing?
What are you missing?
You've cut yourself off
I thought we agreed
But some doctrines of faith
Can be so misleading
So what are you missing?
What are you missing?
Passed out in your yard
My clothes were soaking in the morning rain
My head's just a bruise, like walking in a coma
Like a battered drone
All my limbs are numb
I've been driving past your house
Been pounding at your door
I know I'm just a peon to you
But I deserve more
Than arrogance
Condolences
My hearts are on the sleeves of my shirts scattered over your lawn
And the morning dew... kissed them
Drunk on Bastille Day
Throwing pennies at the broken birds
Scribbling plans on napkins
A sketch of broken angel wings under your bed
My bandages
Stumbled over to your house
I'll sneak in the back door
I know I've been an asshole to you, but that was before
The argument, the accident
Well, I've heard it's just a matter of time before the hour is spent
And my hour is spent
I can't afford it this time
I can't afford this time
I can't afford this time
I can't afford it...
The hour has come for retribution
I'm storming the walls down
I'm storming the walls down
The hour has come for retribution
I'm storming the walls down
I'm storming the walls down
Before this night's done, the wounds will be gone
I'm storming the walls down
I'm storming the walls down
After the movies
In the parking lot
We stared so long
And you kissed me
With ripe young breath
So I kissed you
One night as forever
In the movies
Well, they never had it so good
One moment
So infinite
On soft wet lips
And I miss you
Are you glad I'm finally gone?
I'm so sorry to hear that
I'm so sorry
I'm so sorry
Have I hurt you?
I have hurt myself
These sad songs won't change anything
Love as fragile as a wineglass
It should have been forever
Love as fragile as a wineglass
It couldn't last forever
I'm so sorry
It couldn't last forever
I remember how we kissed
One night as forever
Dinner's getting cold --
You haven't touched a thing
So what's it gonna be?
I can hold out much longer than you
When it's steady I'm just acting out my roles
When you're ready I'll be walking out that door
And don't call me Pretty Baby anymore,
Oh, foolish worker bee --
I'm your fucking queen.
I threw out the phone to try to get through to you
The lines are down, drowned by the hum of the radiator
This house is the hole that you could never fill
With rose-blossomed bouquets, vanities and loveseats
Sad little boy, I know you get confused
But everyone goes through these trials of truth and self-abuse
When you're selfless you're so hard not to adore
When you're selfish, I just love you even more
I want to help you, but you've got to say the words:
"I want to be cured."
Drowned...
Deep in this hole we've dug for ourselves
Throw me in -- headfirst, submerged in this great depression
Impoverished, and Impotent....
...And Don't Call Me Pretty Baby
I threw out the phone to try to get through to you
The lines are down, drowned by the hum of the radiator
This house is the hole that you could never fill
With shattered dinner plates
That's how we'll communicate
Hey, Pretty Baby, are you ready for bed?
I need a catalyst, to rekindle the flame
That once burned within these fists where defeat remains
The night has fallen down the staircase...
I need a catalyst, to rekindle the flame
That once burned within these fists where defeat remains
One Februrary night, we screamed our agonies
And I swear I tried to care
I tried, I tried...
But the icicles hung down like prison bars...
I need a catalyst, to rekindle the flame
That once burned within these fists where defeat remains
One Februrary night, we screamed our agonies
And I swear I tried to care
I tried, I tried...
(And) I lost the will to fight...
The will to fight...
(I lost the will to fight... I lost the will to fight... I lost it... I lost it...
I lost the will to fight.)
And so it's begun
This is year one
The birth of a child in the form of a man
Wrapped in towel
Passed out on the floor
These drunken hours -- graces deflowered
Cast down by an angel
She used to kiss his weeping eyes
Depressed in her bosom
Tears roll off her nipple
Sweet baby, don't cry...
Your tears are only alibis
To prove you still feel --
You only feel sorry for yourself
Well, get on that cross
That's all you're good for...
And thusly it ends
Depression seeps in on a lonely messiah
Now he drinks with the lepers
Losing a limb, his better half
A glass once half full
A head hung half-mast
He claims he's the victim
Strangled by the nine-to-five
And a pattern of stillness
That haunted this still life
Your tears are only alibis
To prove you still feel
You only feel sorry for yourself
And that's how you thrive
Your sorrow's your goldmine
So write some sad song about me
Screaming your agonies, playing the saint
The Martyr...
The Martyr...
The Martyr...
The Martyr...
The Martyr...
Oh....
I saw something I was not supposed to see
A ghostly memory that keeps on haunting me
(The kitchen door was open a crack,
So naively we peeked inside)
Oh, darling sister, have they hurt you, have they hurt you?
Oh, Pretty Baby, they won't touch you
They won't touch you again
We will fix this incident
I don't want to be seen as a pretty thing
'Cause it's the pretty things that we're always breaking...
(And now she whispers into the mirror:) I'm broken.
Oh doctor, doctor, can you fix me, can you fix me?
Oh Pretty Baby, you're so naive -- but it comes off so cute
We don't want to fix you
We love you just the way you are
The butterfly pinned to the page
The nightingale locked in the cage -- won't you sing for me?
Sing for me, uh-huh
Yeah, we love you just the way you are
Crushed 'neath fashion magazines
Trampled by circus pony dreams -- won't you kiss me?
Won't you kiss me, uh-huh
Oh please, mister, can't you fix me, can't you fix me? (uh-huh)
Someone, anyone, won't you fix me, won't you fix me? (uh-huh)
Oh, someone, please, the moon has raped me
I can feel it inside me
Oh, mama, please let someone fix me!
Let them fix me, uh-huh
Let them fix me, uh-huh
So cry yourself to sleep
Cry yourself to sleep 'cause I am strong and you are weak
Wait, you are strong, and I am weak
Fuck -- just cry yourself to sleep
A little bit closer,
I know you're not bashful
There, now that's not so bad, is it?
So what was that secret?
What did that prick whisper to you?
Was it playful and flirty
Or degrading and dirty?
I know you like it both ways
So -- what did he say?
To make you so goddamn defiant
So fucking triumphant
Relations, in direct competition
Domination
The players, disguised as the lovers
The best friend
A game of who needs who the worst
A little bit closer
Your lipstick is smudged, dear
Here, let me wipe that smirk off
A secret
But you couldn't keep it so secret
Relations, without hesitation
Or social tact
And as it occured, it occured to me
Who needs who?
Who needs who?
A little bit closer...
Closer...
The night has fallen down the staircase
And I, for one, have felt its bruises
Equilbrium; inebriated
Our social graces have been displaced
As we sink deeper into the drink
The volume increases....
Night time resurrects fault lines
Silent wars -- rumble somewhere below
The surfaces verses...
The surfaces verses...
The shoe is dropped, lungs explode
Shards of words of a shattered voice
And there's still a hole where the phone was thrown
Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah...
Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah...
The moon is rising, a revolution
I close my eyes and the room is spinning
You're screaming:
"Sweetie, the moon has raped me --
It has left its seeds like a tomb inside me
So I must learn to abort these feelings
This romance is bleeding..."
Night time triggers the land mines
Bedroom wounds -- lovers like brigadiers
Marching two by two...
Marching two by two...
A soldier's down
Flood gates burst
I've said some things I wish you'd never heard
Like, "There's still a hole where the phone was thrown."
It's growing as we speak
And it's sucking us both in
A vacuum of sorrow to swallow up the day
Swimming at night
We've dug this hole
The water's fine
I wonder how far down it goes
Down it goes...
Down it goes...
The stars above have lost their shine
And so, my love, departs our sight
The unending plains project a void
Where lovers gawk in pantomime
[scream: So let me up??]
Shallow means, deep ends
When the regret sinks in
Pressure erupts
Which way is up
Swimming at night
We've finally hit, hit...
We've finally hit bottom...!
Swallowing promises back into our lungs
Losing direction of our affections
Alright...
Shallow means, deep ends
When the regret sinks in
Pressure erupts
Which way is up
Down it goes...
Down it goes...
Loose-lipped secrets
I've seen those birdies chirping
Another promise perched on their fragile branches
Cradle and all...
We all hide a diary beneath some mattress
And someone has slept in my bed
Sometimes I get so naked I sing like a canary
And I scream out what I shouldn't scream
Some lies last a lifetime
They keep our diaries hidden
They don't let the whispers slip
Between the cracks of the bathroom stalls
Or be written on the bathroom walls....
But still I can hear those dirty birds chirp away
It's a song I know by heart
Sometimes I resent making friends and acquaintances
It's a thin veil between us --
Between the bedsprings and the mattress
I keep my secrets
The ones I can't keep
The ones you took from me
The ones you scattered with your wings
It was nice to meet you...
It was nice to meet you...
It was nice to meet you...
The furnace burns, the baby turns
She cries when she's hungry
The morning paper will knock the door
To interrupt their slumbers
Are you satisfied tonight, oh, trader's wife?
Does he neglect you?
Crawling bar stools and touching the girls
As you wash their smell from his clothes
They shoot the horses when they're too old to race
And so, my dear, is there room in bed for me?
The setting Sun has eteched lines upon this face
Shades of red of a furious defeat
Are you satisfied tonight, oh, trader's wife?
As he thinks to you:
"I don't know you anymore,
And I can't breathe in this apartment"
Sleep, my Sweetie, let the days expire
They've outnumbered you
Hold me sweetly, like the days we bled with love
A red so deep we sunk
We sunk...
this is the bed that i have made
this is the grave where i will lay
these are the hands where i will bury my face
i dont believe in wasting time
searching for truth you never find
nobody moves we live in the great decay
all these ghost towns share a name
anywhere, usa
all these strangers look the same
day after day after day
this great decay, the great decay
from birth to the grave
and ive seen what it can do
and im afraid its got me to
cause i can feel it suck me in
cause i can feel im losing grip
day after day its static life
week after week is sacrificed
month after month you meditate
all of the years that waste away
this is the life that i embrace
this is the world that i create
falling into the great decay
give in give in give up
all these verses share a theme
we dont amount to anything
its the day after bloodsucking day
this great decay, this great decay
asleep in your grave
now and again youll remember the sound
of the sails waving helpless
the cables wrapping one another into knots so strong
youre lost at once if not tossed into the drink and lost beneath
a substance so dark yet elementary
four winds converge upon a point where your compass
spirals round in useless motions mocking everything
while bilge collects
your cupped hands attempt to shovel out the last few inches
and you plead with the gods but they send you no sign
hold on sailor, hold on brother
steady the vessel
tall tales of ghosts at sail
they spend the afterlife
in futile calculation, dead reckoning
telltales confuse the sails, direction is lost
the winds will spiral round a listless tapestry
and youre left all alone under the shine of the moon
hold on sailor, tighten the cables
steady the vessel
its a good life if you dont weaken
hold on, hold on
lets pretend were not needy
lets pretend our hearts still beat
lets pretend we fall in love tonight
clumsy enough to fall for anything
well stumble on our words
well spill our guts on creaking bar stools
below the neon blue
low lives hiding in dives theres no feeling in drinking sleeping with strangers
ghosts passing through bedrooms unaware
a faint reflection on the barbacks mirror
a face i never knew whispering,
please dont be a stranger to me. who are you if youre alone'
youre no good at pretending
all my plays have tragic endings
you wish i was a fairy tale
this frog will never change anything
just pretend that youre in love
that scolding sun is bound to come up eventually
so who is it that whispers in your ear
a haunting voice blows in through the window
theres no feeling floating over beds
a needy pleading apparition
crying 'who am i if im alone?
i hardly exist at all.
lets pretend that we dont need anything anymore from anyone.
i dont want to feel anything anymore lets just pretend'
well live happily ever after
Knock the wind the wind right out
Knock it off
I can't breathe
Could I sing another line?
I think my knees are getting weak
And yes, these knees are weak
But who would believe in a hypocrite who sells himself
Who's your scapegoat now?
Well, it's a million to one, but I think I got the part
Trampled through the grind
I wouldn't extend my disgust
But there's no one here except you
I don't see the point
In carrying on
We could make the best
Out of nothing
Who's your scapegoat now?
Who's your scapegoat?
Who's your scapegoat now?
Well, it's a million to one, but I think I got the part
Trampled through the grind
I would sustain this contempt, but I'd be wasting time again
Hey, it's all I've got
Please leave the confessions
I could find a job
Waiting tables
Anchors down
We've hit the bottom
A vacant resolution
We've always revolved to
But the pivot's loose
The axis is off-centered
Don't look down past your equator
You're like the sun and I'm the moon
A mirror reflection of your magnitude
A replicate cast across the room
A remedy for your solitude
Cause you are my sun and I'm your moon
I am the one without a name
You are the glue
I'm bonded to you
I can see through you like a two-way mirror
No man's tried the trials you've been through
I see behind your eyes the horror that haunts you
Hanging over your shoulder
Hanging over your shoulder
Who's that misfit sitting in the corner?
Things that kid did are cloistered like a coma
Hanging over your shoulder
Hanging over your shoulder
My flesh and blood, it can't be true
You're everything I could never be
I was no one, now I'm two
You're actually here acknowledging
That I am the we that makes us complete
It sure has been a lover's life
Living in these shadows
No, that's not quite right...
It was an illustrious life
Till you eclipsed my luster
Who was there when you dined with Dionysus?
Who'd you think that was nourishing your hubris?
Hanging over your shoulder
Hanging over your shoulder
Who was there engorged in Gomorra?
Who'd you think that was dancing in the sulfur?
Hanging over your shoulder
I was hanging over your shoulder
Singing in your ear:
You're like the sun and I'm the moon
You're like the sun and I'm the moon
Or maybe I'm like the sun and you're the moon
Don’t tell me what you’ve done
Cus I don’t wanna know
You say it’s not so hard
Just let your conscience go
You’re flashing me that politicians grin
You got your image squeaky clean
You’ve such a fetching smile
But a maw with sharp teeth
We’re going to hell, we’re going to hell
We’re going to hell, we’re going to hell
So show me some remorse
Show me a little guilt
Don’t tell me we’re just animals
Awaiting our next kill
I’ve been disciplined by religion, by fear
So I can’t quite seem to keep my thought pure
I’ve a hunger for the deviant
And a thirst for worse
We’re going to hell, we’re going to hell
We’re going to hell, we’re going to hell my friends
So what’s that something sinister inside
We act so civilized
Devils in tuxedos
Our sordid hearts are far too hard to hide
What’s that ‘neath the floorboards?
Boom boom
Boom boom
Boom boom
We’re going to hell, we’re going to hell
Welcome one,
And welcome all
To our small town,
The lyrics are the voice
Of the neurosis of a city
inside each house
you'll find the guilt
The fables and folly
Of the residents residing in...
[barely audible]
Fourteen hymns for the heathens…
Baby, baby, baby
This world must seem
So immense compared to the womb,
And baby baby,
Your head must seem
So much smaller than you assumed
Your whole world
Seems to center around you
Be easy to make the mistake
That maybe you’re why the world was made,
Baby, baby, baby,
You learn so fast,
You seem to carry a special gift
Maybe you’ve been given
To this world to make a difference
Such delusions we all struggle with
But the beautiful truth of it is
This is all we are,
We simply exist
You’re not the chosen one
I’m not the chosen one
But we don’t need anyone
I want to live life duty free
Let my instincts take the lead
I want to take what I can get
Don't want to choose don't want to beg
I want down from this family tree
I don't need no upward mobility
I want to unlearn what I've learned
Want to unearn what I've earned
Want to burn my bridges down
Find a place I can't be found
This is my manifesto destiny
Tear down this awkward mobility
Because I'm tired of standing upright
The taller we become the more dollars we can grab from that highest branch
And then step on your back given the chance
But not me I'm a bipedal backpedaler just as sure-footed as I can
I'm no high society man
No suit and tie, no Dapper Dan
I'm no happy family man
I'm no husband, ain't no dad
I'm a goddamn caveman
This upward mobility is more than I can understand
I won't stand, no, I won't stand for it
I won't stand, no, I won't stand for it
I won't stand, no, I won't stand for it
I'd rather be all hands and knees
Yeah, I'd rather be swinging in the trees
With the monkeys and the junkies and bums and sloths and jailbird canaries
I'm at my best when I'm at my worst
I'm at worst when it's not rehearsed
I don't wanna know the goddamn words
I don't wanna have to spell it out
Don't wanna mumble what i'm trying to say
I wanna scream it from my foaming mouth
Shoot out the lights and ride away
I'm at my worst when I'm at my best
I'm at my best when I'm trying to look
And think and talk and sing and read and write
Like all the rest
We're all just trying to play our rolls
In a play that runs ad nauseam
I hate this damn enlightenment
We were better off as animals, right?
We're at our best when it's from our hips
From our hips we don't give a shit
It just feels good and that's no sin
It's the only way to feel alive
The closest thing to being born again
And when baby comes it's job well done
Roll in the hay, oh roll around the sun
We're at our worst when it's from our lips
From our lips we caused a rift,
And world has fallen in
From babble to ball room brawls
Our words have formed a death sentence
And I wish that we had never talked
Our hips said it all
And I wish that we had never talked
Why I should leave:no-why I'm leaving you for him..well, let's see here:well, let's see; where should I begin? Every night you get annihilated with all your friends, and every night I drink alone until you stumble home wanting some- like some fuck and run. I know you sleep around, I see it in the eyes of those girls. Those fucking girls..they smile and nod, but never offer a single word-I'm just in the way-I'm the ball and chain, you're the jailbird chirping, "how hard life is in the cage!"{ how hard it is waking up next to me. Well, you've dug this hole, come on and fill me up. When you said you loved me I knew I was getting fucked you said you'd never let go all that stopped:you used to turn me on, now we're just getting off that's why I'm leaving you. ****and the drunken erratic response from april's ex-boyfriend Trevor Post, upon finding said various notes **** you really, really think this guy is gonna make it all right? You told me you could never be in love with another man oh but this one is it! But I remember when we met we knew that this was the end. Yeah, I remember I remember everything the haircuts the dollar movies. We used to sneak a six pack in your bag, and wait for a girl to scream or a car to crash so we could crack open our cans. Or the time you shaved my head in the front yard; a passerby stopped to take a picture - ended up in the paper and now you want to leave? Well maybe I forgot a couple things it doesn't mean I don't remember how it feels when you're lying naked next to me. Valentine I want to feel your hips pressed up against mine. We'll push into each other-love's alive. It might be fleeting, but it's ours and it's tonight..so won't you reconsider love-lost lives? You might be lonely, but I'm still by your side. You might have to leave but not tonight
A year now and nothing much has changed
Holed up in a motel in El Paso
This was meant to be my great escape
But, I got lost along the way
Amongst free HBO (Court TV) and take-out
Going to write my Moby Dicks
More like scratching lyrics on paper plates
I spent the best years of my life
Waiting on the best years of my life
So what's there to write about?
What have I done?
What have I done?
So is this my destiny?
From starlight into eternity
The gods must be laughing down at me
Ha, ha, ha
Ha, ha, ha
A traveling salesmen at twenty years old
Stranded in Ann Arbor with a flat tire
And I watch the sun sadly set
Any younger, I may have wept
Much older, I wouldn't notice
But I was out there in the world
Yeah, then the world, it passed me by
I was telling everyone back home
That I was taking it by storm
Instead, I watched it from the roadside
What have I done?
What have I done?
So are these the best tales I can spin?
A boy waiting to begin
A man with no memoirs
What have I done?
What have I done?
You're young and you're going to be someone
Then you're old and you're ashamed of what you've become
Well, take a look around you
You're preaching to the choir
Oh, oh, oh
What have I done?
What have I done?
What have I done?
What have I done?
What have I done?
What have I done?
What have I done?
What have I done?
What have I done?
What have I done?
What have I done?
What have I done?
What have I done?
Surrender your furniture
push the television out the window
overmedicated, this must be the sunks
if you can't understand the blues you don't know much
With much love for science and a youthful defiance
we struck blindly at the roots of this tree
whose branches got broken, pissed on and trampled
O please forgive us o mighty shady tree
O please forgive us o mighty doomsday tree
It's time to stick your branches
in the merciless wheel of Time
It's time to stick your branches
in the merciless spokes of Time
It's time to stick a fork in the merciless socket of Time
It's time to be sewn into the limitless fabric of Time
They'll call you a wash up
when you can't stay sunk
it's a shame to be so wet so young
your navel is yearning for an extension - a ghost limb
it cant detach from mothers loving grasp
your starving - its burning for the nutrient it cant have
were all cut off alone and lost
calling out to homebase, do you read me?
(emergency: were floating endlessly)
transmission terminated
youve been created, severed from life and limb
stranded an infant
on the front step of the universe
infinitely searching for a warmth
once loved, now lost forever
mothership mothership do you read me?
does anyone hear my siren song?
maybe ill be rescued before too long
calling out to homebase one last time
(the signal faded out the ship is gone)
still starving for the reason
you were created
then severed from life and limb
stranded an infant
on the front step of the universe
infinitely searching for a warmth
once loved
I was alone
I was at home
Until the fabric was torn
The cord was cut
My orbit had begun
I was a simple being
I was simply being
Until I caught my own reflection
In a spoon
I am the egg
I am the spark
The fire in the dark
I am fertilized, fully actualized
A loaded gun
Born near the blood red sun
Born near the blood red sun
I am not ignorant
I am intelligent
I'm not an ape
I am the way
I am the truth
I am religion
I am politics
I am a psychoanalyst
I'm an inkblot shaped like Zeus
I'm not an egg
I'm a runny yolk
Got no faith, I got no hope
I'm the joke of all existence
I am no one
Burning beneath the blood red sun
Just a burning beneath the blood red sun
I am the body and the blood
The earthquake and the flood
I am the cancer born and growing in each and everyone
To the beat of a blood red sun
You're going to do what I say
And say what I say
You stretch your peacock feathers
You're always on display
Don't act so goddamned conflicted
You wouldn't have it any other way
You're going to write down these words
And pass them along
You're going to fill your book
With your rights and wrongs
You're going to tell your lurid world
The true intentions of these songs
I'm writing out a confession
Every record I've written has left me smitten
A career in masturbation
All in all we're pawns
The ego of mankind stirs in us all
You want to wipe that slate
And start all over again
You want to hide your face
In shame of what your grandpappy did
Pretty soon here we'll all be grandfathers
And our offspring will sing the same shit
The world was built on ego
It was built on slaves
The world was built on a tickle
Between our legs
Come on, you big strong man
You wouldn't have it any other way
I'm writing out a confession
My fathers and brothers
Raped your sisters and mothers
We are the sons of butchers
All in all we're pawns
The darkness of mankind stirs in us all
I cast you out
I cast you out
I cast you out
I cast you out
I cast you out
I cast you out
I cast you out
I cast you out
I'll drag you out
I'll drive you out
I'll drug you out
I'll tear you out
I'll cut you out
I'll kick you out
I'll push you out
I'll pull you out
I cast you out
I'll curse you out
I'll shut you out
I'll shit you out
I'll clean you out
Grab a rope and hang you out to dry
Now I'll damn you out
I cast you out
I'll shove you out
I'm staying
All in all we're pawns
Diseased heat
August on the 101
Let me up
The pale moon
Offers no consolations
Would you let me up?
Mosquitoes fat with our marrow
Ebb and flow through the gumbo
This humid bouillon a cesspool
Stop
Won't someone please let me up?
We're buoyed in
Atop the mercury
Let me up
We're the salt of the earth
From a cell of the surf, this universe
Well let me up
Let me up
(Why won't you let me up?)
I once had gills but they closed up
Had webbed feet but they dried up
Still have lungs but they're sewn up
Stop
Stop
Won't someone just let me up?
We don't exist
In an instant
Let me up
There's a hole in the floor
As black as my momma's womb
Those were the days
Won't you let me up?
I can't stop thinking of the time
I was swallowed in the brine
Won't you let me up?
Let me up
Mama, the planet is a placenta
Pull the plug
Let the heavens rise above
Won't you let me up?
Let me up
Let me up
Let me up
Let me up
Let me up
I can't stop dreaming of the day
I got swallowed into space
Let me up
Let me up
Let me up
Let me up
Let me up
I'm drowning in the egg
Don’t wanna live in the now
Don’t wanna know what I know
Don’t wanna live in the now
Don’t wanna know what I know
Don’t wanna live in the now
Don’t wanna know what I know
Don’t wanna live in the now
Don’t wanna know what I know
Don’t wanna live in the now
Don’t wanna know what I know
Don’t wanna live in the now
Don’t wanna know what I know
Don’t wanna live in the now
Don’t wanna know what I know
Don’t wanna live in the now
Don’t wanna know what I know
We’re wearing out our heels
On a road to hell
We’re wearing out our heels
On a road to hell
We’re wearing out our heels
On a road to hell
We’re wearing out our heels
On a road to hell
We’re wearing out our heels
On a road to hell
We’re wearing out our heels
On a road to hell
We’re wearing out our heels
On a road to hell
We’re wearing out our heels
On a road to hell
While history repeats
The present won’t repent
So history repeats
Cus present won’t repent
So history repeats
Cus present won’t repent
Repeat repeat repeat
Don’t wanna live in the now
Don’t wanna know what I know
Don’t wanna live in the now
Don’t wanna know what I know
Don’t wanna live in the now
Don’t wanna know what I know
Don’t wanna live in the now
Don’t wanna know what I know
Don’t wanna live in the now
Don’t wanna know what I know
Don’t wanna live in the now
Don’t wanna know what I know
Don’t wanna live in the now
Don’t wanna know what I know
Love may be man-made
But it must exist
It's what you want the most
And most resist
Love's polluted
No, no, it's pure
It's convoluted
One thing I could say for sure
I couldn't love you anymore
I couldn't love you anymore
I couldn't love you anymore
I couldn't love you anymore
I couldn't love you anymore
It's a game of fetch
We'll never win
You throw me out
It brings us back
You throw me out again
Loves an affliction
No, it's a cure
It's a contradiction that harms and heals
Adores and abhors
I couldn't love you anymore
I couldn't love you anymore
I couldn't love you anymore
I couldn't love you anymore
I couldn't love you anymore
Love is a tantrum
Love is an interlude
Love is an instinct
Not now, dear, I'm not in the mood anymore
No, no, no, no, no
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
It's no big deal
It's not worth losing sleep
You over-analyze
The simplest things
Love's what you take
But can never give
Love's what you hate
You'll never figure out what it's for
I couldn't love you anymore
I couldn't love you anymore
I couldn't love you anymore
I couldn't love you anymore
Hold your breath, dear
This ship is going down
We're all downhill
Running with our timebombs
These shins are cracked and splintered
These lips are crusted shut
These squinting eyes just sting me
These veins are drying me up
All my limbs
They're just tools
We're all stilted vechiles
These joints rust
These pores leak
Time gets selfish
Time is SPEED
The sweetest dreams... have murdered me. They murdered me. They murdered me.
Like the fear of unskilled labor in the nuclear family
It's the nightmare of digression that engulfs a history
All my limbs
They're just tools
Duplicated, mass produced
Running down
Losing speed
Time escapes us
Timing's everything.
Everything.
Everything... This is the tic in the heart
Everything... This is the beating of the clock
Everything... This is an absent blood clot
Everything... These are the seconds that I've lost
Everything... This is the slow-rush hour
Everything's so rushed (This is the slow-rush... hour)
Moms and dads break up their gangs,
take away their roller skates
Give them algebra and trig
raisins, dates, or figs
But take away the gingerbread and cake
Every husband, every wife, every cop, every teacher
everybody do the taking away
every law, every curfew, ever Bible-branded textbook
watch the kiddies do the breaking away
Moms and dads say,
"No more bands
no side projects, no solo careers
no young love
no kissing fish
no pets at all
no fun
I think we've had enough art, Mr. Marks."
Every molecule, every atom, every single particle
down to the quark
Do the breaking apart!
No skateboard no swimming pools
until you've finished your state approved chemistry,
kid!
Break it down to the electron and quark
and please tell us what happens when the particles spark
Every molecule, every atom, every single particle
down to the quark
Who's your school friend? He's left you some messages. He'd love to see you again - he thinks your ideas are brilliant..and since you've been going out for coffee with him lately, well, is he a pretty good-looking guy? Jealousy am I not yours? We stopped for some alcohol. You stayed in the car. The bars had gotten out, that line was so long:and I saw you over on the pay phone. So I was thinking - who do you ever call at one a.m.? yeah, I wonder who that was. Jealousy. I am not yours. We lay so stiffly, and act like we're sleeping. But my eyes are staring, and you're not breathing heavily. I know when you're sleeping - you purr so softly on my neck. Jealousy. I am.
I'll try to make this perfectly clear
I'm so transparent I disappear
these words I lyrically defecate
upon songs I boldly claim to create
clint steps in to establish the beat
4/4 hip hop and you don't stop
this unique approach to start an EP
intended to shock, create a mystique
a cheap strategy, a marketing scheme
building awareness for the next LP
they've got a good fan base
they've got integrity
they've got a DC sound
Shudder to Think, Fugazi
and Chapel Hill Around The Early 90's
this is the latest from saddle creek
some melodies are like disease
they can inflame your misery
they will infect your memories
they haunt me
some memories are like disease
they can inflame your misery
they will infect your melody
they haunt me
I write these words with my motherly intuition
I shape these sounds into harmonic apparitions
but I can see can see through these haunting things
my moldy dreams are debased by the same hands that shaped them
I'll try to make this perfectly clear
I'm so reflective I am a mirror
these words I'm driving into the ground
the same words I scream out over the crowd
I'm just an air wave rolling around
I storm and crash without a sound
There's all these islands out at sea
I can't reach
I'm just an airplane diving down
I storm and crash without a sound
engines exploding silently out at sea
where waves caress unstable egos
where melody is completely swallowed
where songwriters chain their songs
to their ankles and
sink to the beat
'til it stops and
bursts under pressure
let it
burst and bloom
hit song
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