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Lyrics:
play full screen
play karaoke
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Wild Man From Borneo - Kinky Friedman
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When The Lord Closes The Door - Kinky Friedman
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Western Union Wire - Kinky Friedman
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We Reserve the Right to Refuse Service to You - Kinky Friedman
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Wabash Cannonball - Kinky Friedman
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Twirl - Kinky Friedman
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They Ain't Makin' Jews LiKe Jesus Anymore - Kinky Friedman
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The Take-It-Easy Trailer Park - Kinky Friedman
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The Gospel Accordin' To John - Kinky Friedman
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The Ballad of Charles Whitman - Kinky Friedman
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Sold American - Kinky Friedman
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Skatin' On Thin Ice - Kinky Friedman
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Silver Eagle Express - Kinky Friedman
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Shield Of Abraham - Kinky Friedman
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Schwinn Twenty-four - Kinky Friedman
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Old Shep - Kinky Friedman
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Miss Nickelodeon - Kinky Friedman
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Men's Room, L. A. - Kinky Friedman
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Marilyn & Joe - Kinky Friedman
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Jambalaya - Kinky Friedman
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Homo Erectus - Kinky Friedman
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Get Your Biscuits In The Oven & Your Buns In The Bed - Kinky Friedman
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Father Let Thy Blessings - Kinky Friedman
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Dear Abbie - Kinky Friedman
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Before All Hell Breaks Loose - Kinky Friedman
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Bananas & Cream - Kinky Friedman
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Wheels - Kinky Friedman
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When the Lord Closes the Door (He Opens a Little Window) - Kinky Friedman
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Why Do You Bob Your Nose, Girl ? (Second Hand Nose) - Kinky Friedman
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Waitret, Please, Waitret - Kinky Friedman
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Twinkle - Kinky Friedman
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The Tramp on the Street - Kinky Friedman
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Somethin' s Wrong With The Beaver - Kinky Friedman
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Ride 'em Jewboy - Kinky Friedman
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Rapid City, South Dakota - Kinky Friedman
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Rock And Roll Across The USA - Kinky Friedman
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Put Another Log On The Fire - Kinky Friedman
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Pretty Boy Floyd - Kinky Friedman
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Luckenbach, Texas (Back To The Basics Of Love) - Kinky Friedman
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Ol' Ben Lucas - Kinky Friedman
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Lover Please - Kinky Friedman
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Orange Blossom Special - Kinky Friedman
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Marilyn And Joe - Kinky Friedman
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Men's Room, L.A. - Kinky Friedman
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London Homesick Blues - Kinky Friedman
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Lady Yesterday - Kinky Friedman
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Kinky - Kinky Friedman
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Catfish - Kinky Friedman
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Jambalaya (on The Bayou) - Kinky Friedman
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Hobo's Lullaby - Kinky Friedman
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Amelia Earhart's Last Fligh - Kinky Friedman
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Get Your Biscuits in the Oven and Your Buns in the Bed - Kinky Friedman
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Cotton Eyed Joe - Kinky Friedman
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Cherokee Shuffle (Instrumental) - Kinky Friedman
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Autograph - Kinky Friedman
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Are You Sure Hank Done It This Way - Kinky Friedman
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Bananas And Cream - Kinky Friedman
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Keep On The Sunnyside - Kinky Friedman
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Hello, Good Mornin¡¯ - Kinky Friedman
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Top Ten Commandments - Kinky Friedman
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Get Your Biscuits in the Oven and Your Buns in the - Kinky Friedman
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High on Jesus - Kinky Friedman
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Nashville Casualty And Life - Kinky Friedman
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Rollin' In My Sweet Baby's Arms - Kinky Friedman
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Flyin' Down the Freeway - Kinky Friedman
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Asshole from El Paso - Kinky Friedman
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Okie From Muskogee - Kinky Friedman
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When the Lord Closes the Door (He Opens a Little W - Kinky Friedman
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Somethin's Wrong With The Beaver - Kinky Friedman
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Popeye The Sailor Man - Kinky Friedman
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Carrying The Torch - Kinky Friedman
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Up Against The Wall Redneck Mother - Kinky Friedman
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Mama, Baby, Mama Let Me Jump In Your Pajamas - Kinky Friedman
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The Boogie Man - Kinky Friedman
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The Ballad Of Ira Hayes - Kinky Friedman
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Luckenbach, Texas - Kinky Friedman
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Ramblin' Boy - Kinky Friedman
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Rock & Roll Across The Usa - Kinky Friedman
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People Who Read People Magazine - Kinky Friedman
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Nashville Casualty & Life - Kinky Friedman
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Highway Caf - Kinky Friedman
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Good Hearted Woman - Kinky Friedman
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Ahab The Arab - Kinky Friedman
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Amelia Earharts Last Flight - Kinky Friedman
(Kinky Friedman)
I'm the star of Captain Midnite's travelin' show
Came to this circus many moons ago.
My mother's in your storybooks, she loved a jungle king,
Left me standin' here alone inside the center ring.
In a bamboo cage I crossed the ragin' sea,
A livin' page torn clean from history.
A hairy, scary, legendary screamin' souvenir,
Now don't you come too close to me, don't you come too near.
I'm the wild man from Borneo,
The wild man from Borneo.
You come to see what you wanna see,
Ah, you come to see but you never come to know.
The tattooed lady left the circus train
Lost all of her pictures in the rain.
I wonder if you're happy, I wonder if you're free
I wonder if you'll ever know the mark you left on me.
I'm the wild man from Borneo, The wild man.
You come to see what you wanna see,
Ah, you come to see but you never come to know.
We come to see what we want to see,
(kinky friedman & jeff shelby)
When I find myself alone in my house and in my head
And I blow the candles out and I take myself to bed
And I'm old enough to realize, ah, young enough to know
When the lord closes the door, he opens a little window.
When sleep closes my eyes and sends me searching for you
And I'm feelin' blue as the sky without your love to carry me through
And I'm weak enough to be afraid but strong enough to let it show.
When the lord closes the door, he opens a little window.
Baby I'm a gypsy boy, I'll ride the night until
I come to you like moonlight through your raggle-taggle window sill.
When you find yourself alone in your house and in your head
And you blow the candles out and you take yourself to bed
And you're old enough to realize, ah, young enough to know
(kinky friedman)
From a cheap hotel in dallas
On a cold december day
A telegram was traveling on it's way
Like a sad old song from somewhere
In the distance of a dream
Flashing ¡®cross the darkness
On the telegraph machine.
It said, ¡°from billy,¡± at the bottom, ¡°to baby,¡± at the top
Western union wire ¡º ¡°please help me¡± ¡º stop.
Western union wire ¡º ¡°don't leave me.¡± ¡º stop.
Well, the taxicab it took her
To the airport in the dawn,
She knew in just an hour she'd be gone.
She was standing near the platform
¡®bout to board the big pan am
When someone came
And put the lonely message in her hand.
It said, ¡°from billy,¡± at the bottom, ¡°to baby,¡± at the top
Western union wire ¡º ¡°please help me¡± ¡º stop.
Western union wire ¡º ¡°don't leave me.¡± ¡º stop.
Headin' high above chicago
Just a-reachin' for the skies
She found herself with teardrops in her eyes.
And a little boy beside her asked her,
¡°mama, where is pop ? ¡±
And she just broke down a-cryin'
¡®cause she knew she couldn't stop.
It said, ¡°from billy,¡± at the bottom, ¡°to baby,¡± at the top
Western union wire ¡º ¡°don't leave me.¡± ¡º stop.
¡°ah, you said you'd always love me ¡º how could you ? ¡± ¡º stop,
(kinky friedman, rick goldberg, j. maizel)
While traveling through the lone star state
I lost my lunch before I ate,
It happened in a pull-ahead café. yahoo!
I felt my bones begin to crunch
I saw my name on the businessman's lunch
And the neck who owned the place stepped up to say:
¡°hey buddy, are you blind,
Say, partner, can't you read the sign ? ¡±
We reserve the right to refuse service to you,
Take your business back to walgreen's,
Have you tried your local zoo ?
You smell just like a communist,
You come on through just like a jew,
We reserve the right to refuse service to you.
Well, I walked on in to my house of god
Congregation on the nod,
Just chosen folks are doing their weekly thing.
Hear, o israel, yes indeed,
My book was backwards, couldn't read,
But I got a good rise when I heard that rabbi sing,
¡°boruch atoh adonoi,
What the hell are you doing back there, boy ? ¡±
We reserve the right to refuse services to you,
Your friends are all on welfare ¡º
You call yourself a jew ?
You need your ticket and your tie
To zip your prayers on through,
We reserve the right to refuse services unto you.
Life from laos and cambodia
No more tears tonight they showed ya
The latest old war movies on tv.
You know it's bound to escalate
So go and turn on channel eight,
Watch channel seven border channel three.
Well, I won't mind your tanks and jets and jeeps
And speaking on behalf of all my fellow creeps:
We reserve the right to refuse service to you,
Right, face, forward, move
And get the children, too.
Let saigons be bygones,
Don't you blow this world in two.
We reserve the right to refuse service to you.
Well, it's just my luck that god's a texan
One big sonbitchin' anglo-saxon,
Some crazy tall norwegian bore
Just to help my body shipped air-freight
From texas to the pearly gate
Just ring the bell and leave me at the door.
I'll be somewhere over jordan swinging low,
I'll hear them tape-recorded angels in lifelike stereo
Singing,
¡°we reserve the right to refuse service to you,
Take your business back to walgreen's,
Have you tried your local zoo ?
Our quota's filled for this year
On singing texas jews,
(alvin pleasant carter)
Oh, from the great atlantic ocean to the wide pacific shore,
From the green ol' glowing mountains to the hills of labrador
She's long and tall and handsome, she's known quite well by all,
She's the combination called the wabash cannonball.
She pulled in from birmingham one cold december day,
Pulled into the station, you could hear the people say,
¡°there's a girl on there from tennessee, she's long and she's tall,
She come in from birmingham on the wabash cannonball.¡±
Oh, listen to the jingle, the rumble and the roar
As she glides along the woodland through the hills and by the shore.
Hear the mighty rush of the engine, hear the lonesome hoboes call
Riding through the jungles on the wabash cannonball.
Whew-ew!
Now eastern states are dandy, so the western people say,
From new york to chicago, st. louis by the way
And up in minnesota where the rippling waters fall
No chances can be taken on the wabash cannonball.
Here's to daddy claxton, may his name forever stand,
May it always be remembered throughout all the land
His earthly race is over and the curtains round him fall
But we'll carry him home to victory on the wabash cannonball.
Oh, listen to the jingle, the rumble and the roar
As she glides along the woodland through the hills and by the shore.
Hear the mighty rush of the engine, hear the lonesome hoboes call
Riding through the jungles on the wabash cannonball.
(kinky friedman)
Just a small-town girl
Till you learned to twirl
Then you set the world on fire
Like a drive-in cinderella
In a chevy named desire
So leave your teddy-bear
At the county fair,
Honey, hollywood's on the phone,
For a small-town girl
From a small-town world
You're a long, long way from home.
They say that dreams come true in indiana
That momma loves you up in abilene,
And if you wish upon a star in texarkana
Some day you may be a twirling queen.
Just a small-town girl
Till you learned to twirl
Then you set the world on fire
Like a drive-in cinderella
In a chevy named desire
So leave your teddy-bear
At the county fair,
Honey, hollywood's on the phone,
For a small-town girl
From a small-town world
You're a long, long way from home.
Then you turned around and yesterday was over,
Childhood's like some long lost lullabye
Way back when all the pearls were in the ocean,
Way back when all the stars were in the sky.
Just a small-town girl
Till you learned to twirl
Then you set the world on fire
Like a drive-in cinderella
In a chevy named desire
So leave your teddy-bear
At the county fair,
Honey, hollywood's on the phone,
For a small-town girl
From a small-town world
You're a long, long way from home.
Just a small-town girl
Till you learned to twirl
Then you set the world on fire
Like a drive-in cinderella
In a chevy named desire
So leave your teddy-bear
At the county fair,
Honey, hollywood's on the phone,
For a small-town girl
From a small-town world
You're a long, long way from home.
For a small-town girl
From a small-town world
(kinky friedman)
Well, a redneck nerd in a bowling shirt was a-guzzlin' lone star beer
Talking religion and-uh politics for all the world to hear.
¡°they oughta send you back to russia, boy, or new york city one
You just want to doodle a christian girl and you killed god's only son.¡±
I said, ¡°has it occurred to you, you nerd, that that's not very nice,
We jews believe it was santa claus that killed jesus christ.¡±
¡°you know, you don't look jewish,¡± he said, ¡°near as I could figger
I had you lamped for a slightly anemic, well-dressed country nigger.¡°
No, they ain't makin' jews like jesus anymore,
They don't turn the other cheek the way they done before.
He started in to shoutin' and a-spittin' on the floor,
¡°lord, they ain't makin' jews like jesus anymore.¡±
He says, ¡°i ain't a racist but aristitle onassis is one greek we don't need
And them niggers, jews and sigma nus, all they ever do is breed.
And wops ¡®n micks ¡®n slopes ¡®n spics ¡®n spooks are on my list
And there's one little hebe from the heart of texas ¡º is there anyone I missed ? ¡±
Well, I hits him with everything I had right square between the eyes.
I says, ¡°i'm gonna gitcha, you son of a bitch ya, for spoutin' that pack of lies.
If there's one thing I can't abide, it's an ethnocentric racist;
Now you take back that thing you said ¡®bout aristitle onassis.¡±
No, they ain't makin' jews like jesus anymore,
We don't turn the other cheek the way we done before.
You could hear that honky holler as he hit that hardwood floor
¡°lord, they sho' ain't makin' jews like jesus anymore!¡±
All right!
No, they ain't makin' jews like jesus anymore,
We don't turn the other cheek the way they done before.
You hear that honky holler as he hit that hardwood floor
Lord, they ain't makin' jews like jesus anymore.
Everybody!
They ain't makin' jews like jesus anymore,
They ain't makin' carpenters who know what nails are for.
Well, the whole damn place was singin' as I strolled right out the door
¡°lord, they ain't makin' jews like jesus anymore!¡±
No, we ain't makin' jews like jesus anymore,
We don't turn the other cheek the way they done before.
Well, the whole damn place was singin' as I strolled right out the door
(kinky friedman, van dyke parks)
An l.a. coke-dealer, a georgia faith-healer
A boy scout and a junked-out joan of arc
And they've all come together through life's stormy weather
To the take-it-easy trailer park.
And head up high in my air-stream my life is a pipe-dream
My neon neighbors find me quite insane.
Like a world-weary sailor I've dry-docked my trailer,
I just call her the ol' battleship maine.
Dear mom and dear dad
Life is happy, life is sad,
Love is easy when you, when you follow your heart.
Oh and that's why I came here,
There's no one to blame here
At the take-it-easy trailer park.
And there's ol' aunt jemima from north carolina,
There's uncle ben and dear ol' uncle sam
And there's one who reminds me of the one I left behind me,
But frankly scarlett, I don't give a damn ...
An l.a. coke-dealer, a georgia faith-healer
A boy scout and a junked-out joan of arc
And they've all come together through life's stormy weather
To the take-it-easy trailer park.
Dear mom and dear dad,
Life is happy, life is sad,
Love is easy when you, when you follow your heart.
See them tears in the skies
See the stars in my eyes
At the take-it-easy, take-it-easy
(kinky friedman, roger friedman)
He was just an old-time preacher on the ol' time radio
But they never learn to listen till they lived enough to know.
I used to walk out on that porch when mama'd turn the durn thing on
To the gospel accordin' to john.
Her mail-order prayer shawl fell across her silver hair,
Her sad eyes saw a better world when john came on the air.
Mama had someone to turn to ¡º she was rockin' all night long
To the gospel accordin' to john.
You see, she was a blind believer in john's Bible beatin' game.
He'd heal ¡®em, wheel ¡®em, deal ¡®em, bless ¡®em in heaven's name.
Onward christian soldiers, just a dollar and a half
Buys a photo of jesus with an autograph.
And jesus was a-watching from the table by the door
When that rockin' chair grew silent and that shawl fell to the floor.
I walked out on that porch because I couldn¡°t find a prayer
When a kindly voice come a-cracklin' ¡®cross the air.
Said, ¡°folks, them righteous times are comin¡°, I say, they're comin' right on back.
You can hop that gospel train,¡± he said, ¡°from both sides of the track.
Some people prayin', keep a-listenin', keep a-helpin' out the show,
¡®cause ol' john's with you anywhere you go.¡±
Now some folks claim the scriptures are the only living truth,
Others swear by peter, paul or matthew, mark or luke,
Ah but there ain't a nicer passage just to sail a dream upon
Than the gospel accordin' to john.
He was just an old-time preacher but he answered mama's call,
His words may never save a soul, but his faith could heal us all.
¡®cause life's a sacred pilgrimage whatever trip you're on
And that's the gospel accordin¡° to john.
Recitation:
(kinky friedman)
He was sitting up there for more than an hour,
Way up there on the texas tower
Shooting from the twenty-seventh floor. yahoo!
He didn't choke or slash or slit them,
Not our charles joseph whitman,
He won't be an architect no more.
Got up that morning calm and cool,
He picked up his guns and walked to school.
All the while he smiled so sweetly
And it blew their minds completely,
They'd never seen an eagle scout so cruel.
Now won't you think for the shame and degradation
For the school's administration
He put on such a bold and brassy show.
The chance looked right, it's adolescent
And of course it's most unpleasant
But I got to admit it was a lovely way to go.
There was a rumor about a tumor
Nestled at the base of his brain.
He was sitting up there with his .36 magnum
Laughing wildly as he bagged 'em.
Who are we to say the boy's insane ?
Now charlie was awful disappointed
Else he thought he was anointed
To do a deed so lowdown and so mean.
The students looked up from their classes
Had to stop and rub their glasses,
Who'd believe he'd once been a marine.
Now charlie made the honor roll with ease,
Most all of his grades was a's and b's.
A real rip snorting trigger squeezer
Charlie proved a big crowd pleaser
Though he had been known to make a couple c's.
Some were dying, some were weeping,
Some were studying, some were sleeping,
Some were shouting ¡°texas # 1!¡±
Some were running, some were falling,
Some were screaming, some were balling,
Some thought the revolution had begun.
The doctors tore his poor brain down,
But not a snitch of illness could be found.
Most folks couldn't figure just-a why he did it
And them that could would not admit it,
There's still a lot of eagle scouts around.
There was a rumor about a tumor
Nestled at the base of his brain.
He was sitting up there with his .36 magnum
Laughing wildly as he bagged 'em.
Who are we to say the boy's in
Who are we to say the boy's in
(kinky friedman)
Faded jaded falling cowboy star,
Pawnshops itching for your old guitar.
Where you're going, God only knows,
The sequins have fallen from your clothes.
Once you heard the opry crowd applaud,
Now you're hanging out at fourth and broad
On the rain wet sidewalk remembering the time
When coffee with a friend was still a dime.
And everything's been sold american,
The early times is finished and the want ads all are read.
Everyone's been sold american
In dreaming dreams in a rollaway bed.
Writing down your memoirs on some window in the frost,
Roulette eyes reflecting another morning lost.
Hauled in by the metro for killing time and pain
With a singing brakeman screaming through your veins.
And everything's been sold american,
The lonely night is mourning for the death it never dies.
Everyone's been sold american
Don't let me catch you laughing when the jukebox cries.
You told me you were born so much higher than life,
But I've seen the faded pictures of your children and your wife.
Now they're fumbling through your wallet and they're trying to find your name,
It's almost like they raise the price of fame.
And everything's been sold american,
No place to go and brother, no place to stay.
Everyone's been sold american
(kinky friedman)
They say that even jesus hates a loser
And when you die you go to hockey hell
And when your soul gets sent down,
There'll be the devil skatin' round
And an interview with howard cosell.
Well, some call him a jet-set gladiator,
Some say he's a soldier in a bloody silver war.
But he's one hell of a warrior ¡º
He's got a good lawyer
And every time he crosses that line you can hear that garden roar.
And he keeps on skatin' on thin ice
Just six inches from paradise
Livin' on the ice, lovin' on the run.
He keeps on skatin' on thin ice
Just six inches from paradise,
Written in the stars, meltin' in the sun.
Well, he scored again last night out in vancouver,
You might say that it was on a power play.
He come in close, he shut the light,
Before his teeth came out that night,
In the morning it was hell to break away.
Through northern lights and southern nights there's someone
Who warms your heart as you shiver from the cold.
But every gypsy, every lover, every dreamer must discover
What you win out on the ice, you're gonna lose out out on the road.
And he keeps on skatin' on thin ice
Just six inches from paradise
Livin' on the ice, lovin' on the run.
He keeps skatin' on thin ice
Just six inches from paradise
Written in the stars, boy, meltin' in the sun.
And I?d ride the Silver Eagle to the last town on the line
Railroad ties are not my friend, the only ties that bind
Just watch the troubled countryside gently fall away
Silver Eagle, hold me, guide me, roll me homeward from today
Lose the track of time and let it flow back
Stoke the ancient furnace into flames
Running barefoot in the cinders of the Mopac
Hopping bedtime rides with the outlaw, Jesse James
But now my heart?s a worn and weary vessel
I been hauling dreams that never seem to last
Once I slept beside a trembling trestle
Woke up lost across the rusty lifelines to the past
And I?d ride the Silver Eagle to the last town on the line
Railroad ties are not my friend, the only ties that bind
Just watch the troubled countryside gently fall away
Silver Eagle, hold me, guide me, roll me homeward from today
Freedom?s only station to station
A paper suitcase on the track of time
Ain?t hard to tell a hard luck situation
Ain?t hard to tell a homeless country poet out of rhyme
I?m gonna ride the Silver Eagle to the last town on the line
There?s nothing to remember if there?s nothing to remind
From the gentle Texas sunshine to the Colorado snow
(kinky friedman)
Jacob climbed the ladder, climbed it to the sky,
Said, ¡°people, what's the matter ?
Heaven ain't so high,
People, heaven ain't so high,
When you got the shield,
You got the shield,
You got the shield,
You got the shield of abraham.¡±
Little children.
You got the shield,
You got the shield,
You got the shield of abraham.
The years were lights they wandered in the desert 40 years
And ol' moses told the children
¡°brush away them tears,
Hey, kids, this ain't no time for tears.¡±
Children ¡º
You got the shield,
You got the shield,
You got the shield of abraham.
Little children.
You got the shield,
You got the shield,
You got the shield of abraham.
David, he fought goliath with nothing but a tiny stone.
David, little david, God knows you're not alone,
God knows you're not alone.
David, you got the shield,
You've got the shield,
You got the shield of abraham.
Little david.
You got the shield,
You got the shield,
You got the shield of abraham.
Rock and roll redeemer, oh people, hear my song,
And let the music keep us loving, let the spirit keep us strong,
Let your sweet love keep us strong.
'cause we've got the shield,
We've got the shield,
We've got the shield of abraham.
Little children.
We've got the shield,
We've got the shield,
We've got the shield of abraham.
We've got the shield,
We've got the shield,
We've got the shield of abraham.
Little children.
We've got the shield,
We've got the shield,
(kinky friedman, shawn siegal)
Yeah! yeah! yeah!
Ra-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da
Ra-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da
Ra-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da
Ra-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da
Me and my fellow's gonna take a hike
I climbed on in my brand new bike
It's a twenty-four inch with a groovy red seat
All of the fellows think it's really neat
As I pedal pedal pedal pedal pedal pedal pedal
Pedal pedal pedal pedal pedal pedal pedal up, pedal down
Pedal all around town on my schwinn twenty-four
Schwinn twenty-four
Bam bam bam bam
Schwinn twenty-four.
Ra-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da
Ra-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da
Ra-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da
Ra-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.
Late last night was a-cruisin' round town,
Skateboard pulled up and I shoved you down
When all the lights turned green people on line
Skateboard giving me a real rough time.
As I pedal pedal pedal pedal pedal pedal pedal
Pedal pedal pedal pedal pedal pedal pedal up, pedal down
Pedal all around town on my schwinn twenty-four,
Schwinn twenty-four,
Bam bam bam bam
Schwinn twenty-four.
Watch me go!
Ra-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da
Ra-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da
Well, I made my thing stop and they started to inspect her
Found I was missing one red reflector
They put it on with go go speed
Now I got all the tail action I need
As I pedal pedal pedal pedal pedal pedal pedal
Pedal pedal pedal pedal pedal pedal pedal up, pedal down
Pedal all around town on my schwinn twenty-four
Schwinn twenty-four
Bam bam bam bam
Schwinn twenty-four
Bought it at the store
Ride it on the shore
Two and two makes four
I love leslie gore
Ra-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da
Ra-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da
Ra-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da
When I was a lad and old Shep was a pup
Over hills and meadows we?d stray
Just a boy and his dog, we were both full of fun
We grew up together that way
I remember the time by the old swimming hole
When I would?ve drowned beyond doubt
But old Shep was right there, to the rescue he came
He jumped in and helped pull me out
Well, the years passed and rolled and old Shep, he grew old
His eyes they were fast growing dim
Then one day the doctor looked at me and said
?I can?t do no more for him, Jim?
With hands that were tremblin?, I picked up my gun
I aimed it at Shep?s faithful head
But I just couldn?t do it, I wanted to run
I wished they would shoot me instead
Well, he crawled to my side and he looked up at me
He laid his old head on my knee
I?d lost the best friend that a boy ever had
I cried so I scarcely could see
Well, old Shep he is gone where the good doggies go
No more with old Shep will I roam
But if dogs have a Heaven, well there?s one thing I know
(jay wise)
Kinda like an indian beatin' on his mandolin
Lucky paul and his asian friend,
Smilin' back from the place they're in.
Hero's mother hides in austin waitin' for a loan
Preacher's teachers boogie down in saigon,
Tryin' to make it on their own.
Injun ladies with their cement hair,
Snub ulysses on the stair
I believe he's up there sellin' kitchen wares,
Tryin' to make it back to sweden.
Ah, kinda like an indian beatin' on his mandolin
Lucky paul and his asian friend,
Smilin' back from the place they're in.
Glad to see you on the mend,
Oh, miss nickelodeon,
Guess you got the stuff I could not send,
Roll it over again.
Trip in from ¡®43,
A magic boy, his dog and me.
On a run to eternity
Not carin' what it's costin'.
Oh, kinda like an indian beatin' on his mandolin
Lucky paul and his asian friend,
Smilin' back from the place they're in.
Oh, kinda like an indian beatin' on his mandolin
Lucky paul and his asian friend,
Smilin' back from the place they're in.
Oh, kinda like an indian beatin' on his mandolin
Lucky paul and his asian friend,
Smilin' back from the place they're in.
Oh, kinda like an indian beatin' on his mandolin
(buck fowler)
I saw a picture yesterday
In a men's room near l.a.
Lying on the floor beside the throne.
Had I not recognized the cross
I might have failed to know the boss,
I thought, ¡°lord, you look neglected and alone.¡±
I picked it up with lovin' care,
I wondered who had placed it there,
When l saw there was no paper on the roll.
I said, ¡°lord, what would you do
If you were me and I was you,
Take a chance, save your pants or your soul ? ¡±
Then a voice said,
¡°kinky, it's jesus here, you know that I ain't no square.
Well, I've got these pictures of me,
I mean statues, you know they're everywhere.
Well, I may seem I come from liverpool,
And then on the other hand I may come from france,
But if you don't get off that toilet, well I'm just gonna have to dance.¡±
There is a place where you can go
Where Marilyn still dancin' with Dimaggio
And Juliet with Romeo
And the name of the place is love
They put their hearts into a song
But hit parades and heroes, how they've come and gone
No one got home but they got on
And the name of the game was love
There is a star high in the sky
There's a little piece of yesterday still in your eye
To show that dreamers never die
For we live in a place called love
There is a place where you can go
Where Marilyn still dancin' with Dimaggio
And Juliet with Romeo
(hank hiriam williams)
Good-bye joe, me gotta go, me oh my oh,
Me gotta go pole the pirogue down the bayou.
My yvonne, the sweetest one, me oh my oh,
Son of a gun gonna have big fun on the bayou.
Jambalaya, crawfish pie and fillet gumbo
¡®cause tonight I'm gonna see ma chère; amie-o
Pick guitar, fill fruit jar and be gay-o,
Son of a gun gonna have big fun on the bayou.
Brother larry!
Fontainaux, thibodaux, the place is buzzin',
People come to see yvonne by the dozen.
Dress in style, go hog wild and be gay-o,
Son of a gun gonna have big fun on the bayou.
Jambalaya, crawfish pie and fillet gumbo
¡®cause tonight I'm gonna see ma chère; amie-o
Pick guitar, fill fruit jar and be gay-o,
Son of a gun gonna have big fun on the bayou.
Sister mary!
Jambalaya, crawfish pie and fillet gumbo
¡®cause tonight I'm gonna see ma chère; amie-o
Pick guitar, fill fruit jar and be gay-o,
Son of a gun gonna have big fun on the bayou.
(kinky friedman & panama red)
I left barber college
Searchin' for knowledge,
Went to the university.
I must confess, sir
This lady professor
She turned me on to anthropology.
Now I'm a homo erectus
Got to connect this
Bone that I discovered yesterday.
Tyrannosaurus
Lived in the forest,
Died because it's heart got in the way.
Dear doctor howard
Come down from your tower
And join me for lunch at the ¡°y¡±.
Although you're thirty
I still think you're pretty
Let's give it that good ole college try.
¡®cause I'm a homo erectus
Got to connect this
Bone that I discovered yesterday.
Tyrannosaurus
Lived in the forest,
Died because it's heart got in the way.
Hey jomo kenyatta
No, no, you're not a
Australopithecine boogieman.
It's took us a jillion
But we're all still here, been
Boogeyin' since boogeyin' began.
And I'm a homo erectus
Got to connect this
Bone that I discovered yesterday.
Tyrannosaurus
Lived in the forest,
Died because it's heart got in the way.
You know I'm a homo erectus
Got to connect this
Bone that I discovered yesterday.
Tyrannosaurus lived in the forest,
Died because it's heart got in the way.
You know that I'm a homo erectus
Got to connect this
Bone that I discovered yesterday.
Tyrannosaurus
Lived in the forest,
Died because it's heart got in the way.
I'm but a homo erectus
Got to connect this
Bone that I discovered yesterday.
Tyrannosaurus
Lived in the forest,
Died because it's heart got in the way.
(kinky friedman)
You uppity women I don't understand
Why you gotta go and try to act like a man,
But before you make your weekly visit to the shrink
You'd better occupy the kitchen, liberate the sink.
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed
That's what I to my baby said,
Women's liberation is a-going to your head,
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed.
Early every morning you're out on the street
Passing out pamphlets to everyone you meet.
You gave up your maiden form for lent
And now the front of your dress has an air scoop vent.
Every single brakeman that's ever come along
Had a little woman always tellin' him that he's wrong.
Eve said to adam, ¡°here's an apple you horse¡±
And delilah defoliated samson's moss.
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed
That's what I to my baby said,
Women's liberation is a-going to your head,
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed.
Mean-hearted harpies are breaking all the laws
Tearing up their girdles and a-burning up their bras,
Now the air is dirty and the sex is clean
And your coffee makes my hair turn green.
So damn emancipated in your mind and your body,
Gonna have to cancel all your lessons in karate.
If you can't love a male chauvinist
You'd better cross me off your shopping list.
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed
That's what I to my baby said,
Women's liberation is a-going to your head,
(traditional)
Father, let thy blessings
Touch us and remain
Guiding all our actions
Till we meet again.
Father, keep us loving,
Brave and true and free.
Kind to every creature
All belong to thee.
Unto all thy children
Here and everywhere
Father give us comfort
(kinky friedman)
From a friend of yours in texas
Who's had a little trouble finding love.
I'm considered quite attractive
And I've always been quite active at the club.
But the life I lead's so lonesome
That I wonder, abbie, if you've ever known
What it's like to live in others' dreams
And never have a dream to call your own.
There's a divorcee in dallas,
There's a girl who's much too young in idaho.
London bridge is falling down
And the clergyman is out of town
And there's a daughter no one wants in buffalo.
And I'm wondering ¡®bout america,
Wondering if we lost more than the war.
I'm just wondering if there's any silver lining left
Behind the golden door.
And dear abbie, abbie I just had to write.
Dear abbie, abbie is there any love in sight ?
Well, the last time that I saw you
You were living at the old chelsea hotel.
Even though it's been a while, hell
Even now it makes me smile
To think of how you tennis-shoed the bill.
And it seems like only yesterday
You fell off of the sea-saw and you cried
And your daddy lit the fireworks
In the backyard on the fourth day of july.
And dear abbie, abbie I just had to write,
(kinky friedman)
Time to resign from the human race
Wipe those tears from your lovely face
Baby, wave to the man in the ol' red caboose
Before all hell breaks loose.
Before you go I wish you'd come
Before you leave wish you'd love me some.
I'll give you all of the dreams you can use
Before all hell breaks loose.
All right!
Now I know what the gypsy meant
When he told me I'd never be president.
He said, ¡°adopt a korean, kill you a moose
Before all hell breaks loose. ¡±
You poked fun at my cowboy shoes,
You said they looked just like big canoes.
Now it's time for the chosen ones to choose
Before all hell breaks loose.
Turn out the lights, honey, turn on the news
God save the queen and the kangaroos
And what kind of rubbers did joseph use
Before all hell broke loose.
Time to resign from the human race,
Wipe those tears from your lovely face.
Baby, wave to the man in the ol' red caboose
Before all hell breaks loose.
(kinky friedman)
Well, a long time ago in old tokyo
By the softly flowing stream
I left her there with the stars in her hair
On the other side of a dream.
Well, I traveled through with a heart full of blue
Never quite making my way
Till I come upon a strawberry blonde
Living in pittsburgh, p.a.
Ah, bananas and rice they used to be nice
On the other side of a dream.
Oh, bananas and rice they used to be nice
But now it's bananas an cream.
I stood hypnotized, I stared in her eyes,
She smiled and I suddenly knew
If I made her my bride then the other side
0f my dream would finally come true.
Ah, bananas and rice they used to be nice
On the other side of a dream.
Oh, oh, bananas and rice they used to be nice
But now it's bananas and cream.
Well, a long time ago in old tokyo
By the softly flowing stream
I left her there with the stars in her hair
On the other side of a dream.
Ah, bananas and rice they used to be nice
On the other side of a dream.
Oh, bananas and rice they used to be nice
But now it's bananas and cream.
Bananas and rice used to be nice
On the other side of a dream.
Oh, oh, bananas and rice they used to be nice
But now it's bananas and cream.
Bananas and rice used to be nice
On the other side of a dream.
(chris hillman, gram parsons)
We've all got wheels to take ourselves away,
We've got telephones to say what we can't say.
We get higher and higher every day,
Come on wheels, take this boy away.
We're not afraid to ride,
We're not afraid to die.
Come on, wheels, take me home today,
Come on wheels, take this boy away.
And when I feel my time is almost done
And destiny is in my right hand,
I turn to him who made my life so strong.
Come on, wheels, make this boy a man.
We're not afraid to ride,
We're not afraid to die.
Come on, wheels, take me home today,
Come on wheels, take this boy away.
(Kinky Friedman & Jeff Shelby)
When I find myself alone in my house and in my head
And I blow the candles out and I take myself to bed
And I€™m old enough to realize, ah, young enough to know
When the Lord closes the door, he opens a little window.
When sleep closes my eyes and sends me searching for you
And I€™m feelin€™ blue as the sky without your love to carry me through
And I€™m weak enough to be afraid but strong enough to let it show.
When the Lord closes the door, he opens a little window.
Baby I€™m a gypsy boy, I€™ll ride the night until
I come to you like moonlight through your raggle-taggle window sill.
When you find yourself alone in your house and in your head
And you blow the candles out and you take yourself to bed
And you€™re old enough to realize, ah, young enough to know
When the Lord closes the door, he opens a little window.
(Kinky Friedman)
Why do you bob your nose, girls, it does not look so nice,
If it¡¯ s just to keep in fashion, it¡¯s not the Lord¡¯s advice.
Well, you mangle Mother Nature and brave the Lord¡¯s command
You care about your nose, girls, and reach the Glory Land.
Why do you bob your nose, girls, it¡¯s not the thing to do,
Run with that nose and some day the Lord may say to you:
You naughty little booger, you honky tonkin¡¯ hose
But at least I¡¯m glad for one thing: you¡¯sll never bob your nose.
(kinky friedman, major boles, roscoe west)
Well, I pulled into dallat on a cold december day
Bought coffee and a doughnut at the greasy spoon café,
Spied me a pretty young waitret standing by her tray,
But she couldn't believe her sweet young ears when the waitret heard me say:
Oh, waitret, please, waitret, come sit down on my fate,
Eatin' ain't cheatin', lord it ain't no disgrace.
Oh, bring me a lone star, make it a case
And waitret, please, waitret, come sit down on my fate.
Well, I walked up to the jukebox feeling kind of mean,
The waitret said, ¡°hey, stupid, that's a cigarette machine!¡±
¡°well, look-a here, young waitret, would you care to make a bet,
And if that there ain't a jukebox, you can smoke my cigarette!¡±
Oh, waitret, please, waitret, come sit down on my fate,
Eatin' ain't cheatin', lord it ain't no disgrace.
Oh, bring me a lone star, make it a case
And waitret, please, waitret, come sit down on my fate.
You're the prettiest thing in dallat, is dallat your home ?
No, I come all the way from houton and I feel so all alone.
I used to live in autin then I come up to big d
In hopes to get my big break on national tv.
Honey, I think I have what it takes to make you a star ¡º but first ...
Oh, waitret, please, waitret, come sit down on my fate,
Eatin' ain't cheatin', lord it ain't no disgrace.
Oh, bring me a lone star, make it a case
(kinky friedman)
Oh, I didn't write this song for fortunes made of money,
I only came along just to sing it to you, honey.
I've dreamed around the bend, I've looked behind the sky,
I've seen the rainbow's end in the twinkle of an eye.
And until the day our stars all arise
Twinkle, let me shine in your eyes.
In a window from afar it shines in just like a candle,
The shimmer like a star, it's more than I can handle,
To hold you in the night, to show you what I told you,
To go down by candlelight, to light the world before you.
And until the day our stars all arise,
Twinkle, let me shine in your eyes.
And until the day our stars all arise,
Twinkle, let me shine in your eyes,
Twinkle, let me shine in your eyes,
(grady cole & hazel cole, kinky friedman)
Only a tramp was lazarus' sad fate
He who lay down by the rich man' s gate.
He begged for some crumbs from the rich man to eat,
He was only a tramp found dead on the street.
If jesus he comes on and knocks on your door
Will he find love and kindness or hatred and war ?
Will you turn him away with nothing to eat ?
Will you leave him to die like a tramp on the street ?
Poor jewboy you' ve rambled this cold world alone
Just a-prayin' that heaven is no place like home.
May the good lord he bless you and keep you in health
(Kinky Friedman & Panama Red)
She climbed the stairs that mornin¡¯
Found him rather pale
His eyes they were the color
Of half-drunk ginger ale.
Faithful as a Magnavox
Hung-up on a song
She cried down to the breakfast nook,
¡°Ward, there¡¯s something wrong.¡±
Somethin¡¯s wrong with the Beaver
Somethin¡¯s wrong with the Beaver
Somethin¡¯s wrong with the Beaver
The Beaver I believe-uh is gone.
Beaver was a dreamer
Never got it right
Died in livin¡¯ color
Lived in black an¡¯ white.
Faithful as a Magnavox
Hung-up on a song
She cried down to the breakfast nook,
¡°Ward, there¡¯s something wrong.¡±
Somethin¡¯s wrong with the Beaver
Somethin¡¯s wrong with the Beaver
Somethin¡¯s wrong with the Beaver
The Beaver I believe-uh is gone.
Somethin¡¯s wrong with the Beaver
Somethin¡¯s wrong with the Beaver
Somethin¡¯s wrong with the Beaver
Somethin¡¯s wrong with the Beaver
Somethin¡¯s wrong with the Beaver
Somethin¡¯s wrong with the Beaver
Somethin¡¯s wrong with the Beaver
Somethin¡¯s wrong with the Beaver
Somethin¡¯s wrong with the Beaver
Somethin¡¯s wrong with the Beaver
Somethin¡¯s wrong.
(kinky friedman)
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
Ride, ride ¡®em jewboy,
Ride ¡®em all around the old corral.
I'm, I'm with you boy
If I've got to ride six million miles.
Now the smokes from camps are rising
See the helpless creatures on their way.
Hey, old pal, ain't it surprising
How far you can go before you stay.
Don't you let the morning blind ya
When on your sleeve you wore the yeller star.
Old memories still live behind ya,
Can't you see by your outfit who you are.
How long will you be driven relentless ¡®round the world,
The blood in the rhythm of the soul.
Wild ponies all your dreams were broken,
Rounded out and made to move along.
The loneliness which can't be spoken
Just swings a rope and rides inside a song.
Dead limbs play with ringless fingers
A melody which burns you deep inside.
Oh, how the song becomes the singers,
May peace be ever with you as you ride.
How long will you be driven relentless around the world,
The blood in the rhythm of the soul.
In the window candles glowing
Remind you that today you are a child,
Road ahead, forever rolling,
And anything worth cryin' can be smiled.
So ride, ride ¡®em jewboy,
Ride ¡®em all around the old corral.
I'm, I'm with you boy
If I've got to ride six million miles.
Ooh ooh ooh,
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh.
Ooh ooh ooh,
(kinky friedman)
Just a ragged kid in overalls, he thumbed a ride one day
He told me, ¡°anywhere you're going's on my way.¡±
But as we passed by big al's drive-in his eyes began to flash
He was leavin' rapid city mighty fast.
He said, ¡°i hope to God she finds the good-bye letter that I wrote her
But the mail don't move so fast in rapid city, south dakota.¡±
Well, he left her just a blanket of snow upon the farm
And that don't keep your conscience very warm.
He said his friends were too durn country and his pa was too damn mean
And there weren't no money pumpin' gasoline.
And her gentle eyes, the merchandise of dreams the peddler sold her
Who left her there alone in rapid city, south dakota.
Now the reason he was goin', I ain't sure I could say,
Might've been the rodeo in santa fé.
¡°there's a doctor in chicago, I know she'll be all right ¡±
He told himself as he stared into the night.
And he said, ¡°i hope to God she finds the good-bye letter that I wrote her
But the mail don't move so fast in rapid city, south dakota.¡±
And all her people treatin' her just like they never knowed her
(Kinky Friedman, Panama Red)
Jesus said to Pilate, ¡°Remember the Golden Rule:
Love thy neighbor, don't you step on my blue suede shoes.¡±
Pilate, he said to Jesus, ¡°Hey, you know this ain't no Sunday school¡±
Baby, everybody knows that the wheel¡¯s gotta roll,
Rock and roll across the USA.>
Wichita said to Crazy Horse,
¡°Horse, we¡¯re gonna let you choose
¡®Cause you¡¯ll have the huntin¡¯ ground of the reservation blues
You¡¯d better slide over Sitting Bull-over, we got a highway coming through.¡±
Baby, everybody knows that the wheel¡¯s gotta roll
Rock and roll across the USA, yeah-yeah-yeah!
Jesus said to Pilate, ¡°Remember the Golden Rule:
Love thy neighbor, don¡¯t you step on my blue suede shoes.¡±
Pilate, he said to Jesus, ¡°Hey, you know this ain¡¯t no Sunday school¡±
Baby, everybody knows that the wheel¡¯s gotta roll
Rock and roll across the US
Everybody knows that the wheel¡¯s gotta roll
Rock and roll across the US
Everybody knows that the wheel¡¯s gotta roll
Rock and roll across the US
Roll across the US
Roll across the USA.
(sheldon silverstein)
Put another log on the fire,
Cook me up some bacon and some beans,
Go out to the car and change the tire,
Wash my socks and sew my old blue jeans.
Baby, fill my pipe and then go fetch my slippers,
Boil me up another pot of tea.
Put another log on the fire, girl,
Come and tell me why you're leaving me.
Don't I let you wash the car on sunday ?
Don't I warn you when you're getting fat ?
Hey, fatso!
Ain't I gonna take you fishing some day ?
Well, a man can't love a woman more than that.
Ain't I always nice to your kid sister,
Don't I take her driving every night ?
So sit here at my feet because I like you when you're sweet
And you know that it ain't feminine to fight.
Put another log on the fire,
Cook me up some bacon and some beans,
Go out to the car and change the tire,
Wash my socks and sew my old blue jeans.
Fill my pipe and then go fetch my slippers,
Boil me up another pot of tea.
Put another log on the fire, woman,
Come and tell me why you're leaving me.
Gather round me children
A story I will tell
About pretty boy Floyd, the outlaw
Oklahoma knew him well
?Twas in the town of Shawnee
On a Saturday afternoon
With his wife beside him in a wagon
It was into town they rode
Well, a deputy sheriff called him
In a manner rather rude
Using vulgar words of language
And his wife she overheard
Well, pretty boy grabbed a log chain
The deputy grabbed his gun
And in the fight that followed
He laid that deputy down
He took to the woods and timber
He lived a life of shame
Every crime in Oklahoma
They laid on to his name
He took to the river bottoms long
The north Canadian shore
And many a starving farmer
He opened up his door
They tell about a stranger
The same old story goes
How pretty boy paid their mortgage
And he saved their little home
Yeah, they tell about a stranger
Who came to beg a meal
And underneath his napkin
He left a thousand dollar bill
Into Oklahoma city
It was on a Christmas day
Come a whole wagon load full of groceries
And a note on which did say
?You say that I?m an outlaw
You say that I?m a thief
Well, here?s a Christmas dinner
For your families on relief?
Through this world I?ve rambled
I?ve seen many funny men
Some will rob you with a six-gun
And some with a fountain pen
But as through your lives you travel, boy
As through your lives you roam
You won?t never see no outlaw
(Bobby Gene Emmons, Chips Moman)
The only two things in life that make it worth living
Is guitars tuned good and firm-feeling women.
Well, I don€™t need my name in the marquee lights,
I got my song and I got you with me tonight.
Let€™s go to Luckenbach, Texas
With Waylon and Willie and the boys
This successful life we€™re living€™s
Got us feuding like the Hatfields and McCoys.
Between Hank Williams pain songs,
Steve Goodman train songs,
Blue Eyes Crying In The Rain,
Out in Luckenbach, Texas,
Ain€™t nobody feeling no pain.
So baby let€™s sell your diamond ring
To buy some boots and faded jeans and go away.
This coat and tie is choking me
In your high society you cry all day.
We€™ve been so busy keeping up with the Jones
Four-car garage and we€™re still building on.
Let€™s go to Luckenbach, Texas,
Waylon and Willie and the boys.
This successful life we€™re living€™s
Got us feuding like the Hatfields and McCoys.
Between Hank Williams pain songs,
Steve Goodman train songs,
Blue Eyes Crying In The Rain,
Luckenbach, Texas,
Ain€™t nobody feeling no pain.
(kinky friedman)
Ol' ben lucas had a lot of mucus
Comin' right out of his nose.
He picked and picked till it made you sick
But back again it grows.
Well, ol' ben lucas had a lot of mucus
Comin' right out of his nose.
He picked and picked till it made you sick,
But back again it grows.
When it's cotton picking time in texas,
Boys, it's booger picking time for ben.
He'd raise that finger mean and hostile
Stick it in that waitin' nostril,
Here he comes with a green one once again.
All right, pick it, eric!
Ol' ben lucas had a lot of mucus
Comin' right out of his nose.
He picked and picked till it made you sick,
But back again it grows.
Everybody!
Ol' ben lucas had a lot of mucus
Comin' right out of his nose,
He picked and picked till it made you sick
(billy swan)
Lover please, please come back
Don't take that train goin' down the track.
Don't please don't, don't leave me
Don't you leave me here in misery.
You would never hold me so near
You would never call me dear.
Don't you know I'd die for you
Now you're gone and that's what I'll do.
Lover please, please come back
Don't take that train goin' down the track.
Don't please don't, don't leave me
Don't you leave me here in misery.
Well, it's an old, old story, not too long,
About a love that went all wrong.
Girl left the boy, oh so bad
Now she gone and she oh so sad.
Lover please, please come back
Don't take that train goin' down the track
Don't please don't, don't leave me
Don't you leave me here in misery.
Oh, lover please, please come back
Don't take that train goin' down on the track
Don't please don't, no don't leave me
Don't you leave me here in misery.
Lover please, please come back
Don't take that train goin' down the track
Don't please don't, don't leave me
[Instrumental]
(Kinky Friedman, Sharon Howard)
There is a place where you can go
Where Marilyn still dances with Dimaggio
And Juliet with Romeo
And the name of the place is love.
They put their hearts into a song
But hit parades and heroes, how they've come and gone.
No one got home but they got on
And the name of the game was love.
There is a star, high in the sky,
There's a little piece of yesterday still in her eye
To show that dreamers never die
For we live in a place called love.
There is a place where you can go
Where Marilyn still dances with Dimaggio
And Juliet with Romeo
And the name of the place is love.
(Buck Fowler)
I saw a picture yesterday
In a men¡¯s room near L.A.
Lying on the floor beside the throne.
Had I not recognized the cross
I might have failed to know the boss,
I thought, ¡°Lord, you look neglected and alone.¡±
I picked it up with lovin¡¯ care,
I wondered who had placed it there,
When l saw there was no paper on the roll.
I said, ¡°Lord, what would you do
If you were me and I was you,
Take a chance, save your pants or your soul ?¡±
Then a voice said,
¡°Kinky, it¡¯s Jesus here, you know that I ain¡¯t no square.
Well, I¡¯ve got these pictures of me,
I mean statues, you know they¡¯re everywhere.
Well, I may seem I come from Liverpool,
And then on the other hand I may come from France,
But if you don¡¯t get off that toilet, well I¡¯m just gonna have to dance.¡±
I saw a picture yesterday in a men¡¯s room near L.A.
(gary p. nunn)
When you're down on your luck
And you ain't got a buck
In london, you're a goner
And london bridge
Has fallen down
And moved to arizona
Now I know why
We'll now substantiate the rumor
That the english sense of humor
Is drier than the texas sands.
You can put up your dukes
Go bet your boots
I'll be leavin' here as soon as I can.
I wanna go home with the armadillo
Country music from amarillo and abilene
The prettiest women and the friendliest people you ever seen.
Well, I decided that
I'd take my cowboy hat
And go down to the marble arch station
'cause when a texan fancies
To take his chances
Chances will be taken,
That's for sure.
And goes blind me eyes
For eying the prize
Some people call manly footwear
'cause when your thumb down south
When you open your mouth
You always seem to put your foot there.
I wanna go home with the armadillo
Country music from amarillo and abilene
The friendliest people and the prettiest women you ever seen.
I wanna go home with the armadillo
Country music from the lone star café and abilene
(kinky friedman)
If I made a wish for every sacred star
Falling just outside of heaven's window,
If I had the songs from david's old guitar
And the dreams I've left behind me on my pillow
And if I gave them all to you,
If I took the fall for you
Could you make it spring ?
Lady yesterday,
You smiled just like a lover and a friend.
Lady yesterday,
You danced like it was yesterday again.
They say that love's a paper boat upon the sea,
They say that love is a reflection on the river.
They say that love's a thing that's never meant to be,
They say that love's a thing that's meant to be forever.
And if I gave it all to you,
If I took the fall for you,
Could you make it spring ?
Lady yesterday,
You smiled just like a lover and a friend.
Lady yesterday,
You danced like it was yesterday again.
Hmm, hmm, hmm ...
Hmm, hmm, hmm ...
Hmm, hmm, hmm ...
Hmm, hmm, hmm ...
And if I gave it all to you,
If I took the fall for you,
Could you make it spring ?
Lady yesterday,
You smiled just like a lover and a friend,
Lady yesterday,
(ronnie hawkins)
I had me a wearied dream, seen me a wearied scene,
When I seen what I saw, couldn't sit still,
Nero was kissing on buffalo bill.
Let it roll, let it roll, let it roll one time for me.
When it gets too kinky for the rest of the world
It's getting just right for me.
There was rhinestone whips and midgets,
Quasimodo was jerking in hard.
I seen a tribe of pygmies doing their thing
Riding in on saint-bernards.
Let it roll, let it roll, let it roll one time for me.
When it gets too kinky for the rest of the world
It's getting just right for me.
Whew!
There was shetland ponies and bulldogs,
Jockstraps and cowboy boots,
Forty-seven miles of tennis shoe tongue
And thirteen pair of shoes.
Let it roll, let it roll, let it roll one time for me.
When it gets too kinky for the rest of the world
It's getting just right for me.
Let it roll!
Let it roll, let it roll, let it roll one time for me.
When it gets too kinky for the rest of the world
(bob dylan, jacques levy)
Lazy stadium night,
Catfish on the mound.
¡°strike three,¡± the umpire said,
Batter have to go back and sit down.
Catfish, million dollar man.
Nobody can throw the ball like catfish can.
Used to work on mr. finley's farm
But the old man would not pay.
So he packed his glove and took his arm
And one day he just ran away.
Catfish, million dollar man.
Nobody can throw that ball like catfish can.
Way up where the yankees are
Smoke a custom made cigar.
Catfish, million dollar man.
Nobody can throw that ball like catfish can.
Reggie jackson at the plate
Seeing nothing but the curve.
Swing too early or too late,
Got to eat what catfish serve.
Catfish, million dollar man.
(Hank Hiriam Williams)
Good-bye Joe, me gotta go, me oh my oh,
Me gotta go pole the pirogue down the bayou.
My Yvonne, the sweetest one, me oh my oh,
Son of a gun gonna have big fun on the bayou.
Jambalaya, crawfish pie and fillet gumbo
¡®Cause tonight I¡¯m gonna see ma chère; amie-o
Pick guitar, fill fruit jar and be gay-o,
Son of a gun gonna have big fun on the bayou.
Brother Larry!
Fontainaux, Thibodaux, the place is buzzin¡¯,
People come to see Yvonne by the dozen.
Dress in style, go hog wild and be gay-o,
Son of a gun gonna have big fun on the bayou.
Jambalaya, crawfish pie and fillet gumbo
¡®Cause tonight I¡¯m gonna see ma chère; amie-o
Pick guitar, fill fruit jar and be gay-o,
Son of a gun gonna have big fun on the bayou.
Sister Mary!
Jambalaya, crawfish pie and fillet gumbo
¡®Cause tonight I¡¯m gonna see ma chère; amie-o
Pick guitar, fill fruit jar and be gay-o,
Son of a gun gonna have big fun on the bayou.
Son of a gun gonna have big fun on the bayou!
Do not think about tomorrow
Let tomorrow come and go
Tonight you?ve got a nice warm boxcar
Safe from all the rain and snow
So go to sleep, you weary Hobo
Let the towns drift slowly by
Can?t you hear the steel rail hummin??
That?s the Hobo?s lullaby
Oh, I know your clothes are ragged
And your hair is turnin' gray
Lift your head and smile at trouble
You?ll find peace of mind someday
So go to sleep, you little Hobo
Let the towns drift slowly by
Tonight you?ve got a nice warm boxcar
That?s the Hobo?s lullaby
I know the police cause you trouble
They cause trouble everywhere
When you die and go to Heaven
There will be no police there
So go to sleep, you weary Hobo
Let the towns drift slowly by
Can you hear the steel rail hummin??
That?s the Hobo?s lullaby
Do not let your heart be troubled
If the world calls you a bum
?Cause if your mother lived, she?d love you
You are still your mother?s son
So go to sleep, my weary Hobo
Let the towns drift slowly by
Can you hear the steel rails hummin??
That?s the Hobo?s lullaby
That?s the Hobo?s lullaby
Just a ship out on the ocean, a speck against the sky,
Amelia Earhart flying that sad day;
With her partner, Captain Noonan, on the second of July
Her plane fell in the ocean, far away.
There¡¯s a beautiful, beautiful field
Far away-ay-ay in a land that is fair.
Happy landings to you, Amelia Earhart,
Farewell, first lady of the air.
Half an hour later her SOS was heard,
Her signal¡¯s weak, but still her voice was brave.
In shark-infested waters her aeroplane went down that night
In the blue Pacific to a watery grave.
There¡¯s a beautiful, beautiful field
Far away-ay-ay in a land that is fair.
Happy landings to you, Amelia Earhart,
Farewell, first lady of the air.
Now you heard my story ¡¯bout this awful tragedy,
We all pray she¡¯ll fly home safe again.
In years to come, though others blaze a trail across the sea,
We¡¯ll ne¡¯er forget Amelia and her plane.
There¡¯s a beautiful, beautiful field
Far away-ay-ay in a land that is fair.
Happy landings to you, Amelia Earhart,
Farewell, first lady of the air.
Farewell, first lady of the air.
(Kinky Friedman)
You uppity women I don€™t understand
Why you gotta go and try to act like a man,
But before you make your weekly visit to the shrink
You€™d better occupy the kitchen, liberate the sink.
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed
That€™s what I to my baby said,
Women€™s liberation is a-going to your head,
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed.
Early every morning you€™re out on the street
Passing out pamphlets to everyone you meet.
You gave up your Maiden Form for Lent
And now the front of your dress has an air scoop vent.
Every single brakeman that€™s ever come along
Had a little woman always tellin€™ him that he€™s wrong.
Eve said to Adam, €œHere€™s an apple you horse€?
And Delilah defoliated Samson€™s moss.
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed
That€™s what I to my baby said,
Women€™s liberation is a-going to your head,
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed.
Mean-hearted harpies are breaking all the laws
Tearing up their girdles and a-burning up their bras,
Now the air is dirty and the sex is clean
And your coffee makes my hair turn green.
So damn emancipated in your mind and your body,
Gonna have to cancel all your lessons in karate.
If you can€™t love a male chauvinist
You€™d better cross me off your shopping list.
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed
That€™s what I to my baby said,
Women€™s liberation is a-going to your head,
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed.
[Instrumental]
[Instrumental]
(kinky friedman & panama red)
Ain't you the golden boy
Of the silver screen,
Your mother's pride and joy,
The promoter's dream.
No time for autographs
Or sailin' boats or trains.
No time for dreams to last,
You gotta catch that plane.
One magic midnight show,
She taught you how it feels,
Once, oh so long ago,
When rock & roll was real.
Turn on your radio,
The words you hear are mine.
Shoulda told you long ago,
(Waylon Jennings)
Lord, it¡¯s the same old tune
Fiddle and guitar
Where do you take it from here ?
Rhinestone suits, new shiny cars,
It¡¯s been the same way for years.
We need a change.
Somebody told me when I came to Nashville,
¡°Son, you finally got it made!¡±
Old Hank made it here, we all should do it our way
I don¡¯t think Hank done it this way,
No, I don¡¯t think Hank done it this way.
Ten years on the road making one-night stands
Spitting my young life away.
Tell me one more time so I¡¯ll understand
Are you sure Hank done it this way ?
Did old Hank really did it this way ?
Lord, I¡¯ve seen the world with a five-piece band
Looking at the back side of me
Singing my songs one hears now and then
But I don¡¯t think Hank done it this way,
No, I don¡¯t think Hank done it this way.
(Kinky Friedman)
Well, a long time ago in old Tokyo
By the softly flowing stream
I left her there with the stars in her hair
On the other side of a dream.
Well, I traveled through with a heart full of blue
Never quite making my way
Till I come upon a strawberry blonde
Living in Pittsburgh, P.A.
Ah, bananas and rice they used to be nice
On the other side of a dream.
Oh, bananas and rice they used to be nice
But now it¡¯s bananas an cream.
I stood hypnotized, I stared in her eyes,
She smiled and I suddenly knew
If I made her my bride then the other side
0f my dream would finally come true.
Ah, bananas and rice they used to be nice
On the other side of a dream.
Oh, oh, bananas and rice they used to be nice
But now it¡¯s bananas and cream.
Well, a long time ago in old Tokyo
By the softly flowing stream
I left her there with the stars in her hair
On the other side of a dream.
Ah, bananas and rice they used to be nice
On the other side of a dream.
Oh, bananas and rice they used to be nice
But now it¡¯s bananas and cream.
Bananas and rice used to be nice
On the other side of a dream.
Oh, oh, bananas and rice they used to be nice
But now it¡¯s bananas and cream.
Bananas and rice used to be nice
On the other side of a dream.
Bananas and rice ...
(alvin pleasant carter, gary garett)
There's a dark and a troubled side of life
There's a bright and a sunnyside, too.
Though we meet with the darkness and strife
The sunnyside we also may view.
Keep on the sunnyside
Always on the sunnyside
Keep on the sunnyside of life.
It will help us every day
It will brighten all our way
If we keep on the sunnyside of life.
The storm and it's fury rage today
Crushing hope that we cherished so dear.
Storm and clouds will in time pass away,
The sun again will shine bright and clear.
Keep on the sunnyside
Always on the sunnyside
Keep on the sunnyside of life.
It will help us every day
It will brighten all our way
If we keep on the sunnyside of life.
May the street with the song of hope be paved
Though the moment be cloudy or fair.
May we trust in the good lord always
To keep us everyone in his care.
Keep on the sunnyside
Always on the sunnyside
Keep on the sunnyside of life.
It will help us every day
It will brighten all our way
If we keep on the sunnyside of life.
Keep on the sunnyside
Always on the sunnyside
Keep on the sunnyside of life.
It will help us every day
It will brighten all our way
(kinky friedman, ronee blakley)
Hello good mornin', it's suddenly dawnin'
That it's been awhile.
Last night I dreamed of a hollywood queen,
She was wearin' your smile.
But yesterday's gone, girl, it's only a song, girl,
It's hardly a crime.
Hello, good mornin', it's suddenly dawnin'
That you're still on my mind.
Hello, good mornin', it's suddenly dawnin'
That I need a friend.
Hope it ain't wrong but I found myself longin'
To call you again.
What indian-giver took back that river
And that warm summer rain ?
Hello, good mornin', it's suddenly dawnin'
That I miss you again.
Oh I know it's early, we're both in a hurry,
But it's already late.
I always loved you, I still dream of you,
But the car pool won't wait.
When I used to hold you, remember I told you
That you'd be someone,
Or was it cinderella tellin' rockefeller
That time is the money of love ?
Hello, good mornin', it's suddenly dawnin'
That I need a friend.
Hope it ain't wrong but I found myself longin'
To call you again.
What indian-giver took back that river
And that warm summer rain ?
Hello, good mornin', it's suddenly dawnin'
(kinky friedman)
Walking on the ragged streets of time
A man is asking if there is a dime
Someone can spare.
No one pays him any mind,
But surely someone sees him there a-crying
When no one's there.
And the washed out whore demands
The bottle in his hands.
Ah, mister, don't you weep,
God knows we've tried to keep
The golden rule and the
Top ten commandments.
You can't believe the thing you've seen
On the midnight tv screen
And nightmare sent by satellite.
Rain fire falling from the skies
A mother holds her baby and cries
And day for us for them is night.
And love is just a word we preach
For who can learn what none will teach.
Ah, people, don't you weep,
God knows we've tried to keep
The golden rule and the
Top ten commandments.
And moving across on the city street
A neighbor tried to find his feet
And fell on down and slipped to ruin.
The bystanders are all standing by
Watching from corners of their eyes
Wondering what on earth can he be doing.
With a faith nobody shared
And a love nobody dared
Oh, mary, don't you weep,
Someday we'll learn to keep
The golden rule and the
(Kinky Friedman)
You uppity women I don¡¯t understand
Why you gotta go and try to act like a man,
But before you make your weekly visit to the shrink
You¡¯d better occupy the kitchen, liberate the sink.
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed
That¡¯s what I to my baby said,
Women¡¯s liberation is a-going to your head,
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed.
Early every morning you¡¯re out on the street
Passing out pamphlets to everyone you meet.
You gave up your Maiden Form for Lent
And now the front of your dress has an air scoop vent.
Every single brakeman that¡¯s ever come along
Had a little woman always tellin¡¯ him that he¡¯s wrong.
Eve said to Adam, ¡°Here¡¯s an apple you horse¡±
And Delilah defoliated Samson¡¯s moss.
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed
That¡¯s what I to my baby said,
Women¡¯s liberation is a-going to your head,
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed.
Mean-hearted harpies are breaking all the laws
Tearing up their girdles and a-burning up their bras,
Now the air is dirty and the sex is clean
And your coffee makes my hair turn green.
So damn emancipated in your mind and your body,
Gonna have to cancel all your lessons in karate.
If you can¡¯t love a male chauvinist
You¡¯d better cross me off your shopping list.
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed
That¡¯s what I to my baby said,
Women¡¯s liberation is a-going to your head,
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed.
(kinky friedman)
Walking down division street
I happened on to meet
A stranger with a package in his hand.
He said, ¡°mister, if you follow me
Rainbow colors you will see,
I'll take your head into the promised land.¡±
¡°friend, I don't need your stuff,
My jesus is enough.
You see them colors bright,
Why can't you see the light ? ¡±
Let's get high on jesus, high on jesus,
I believe that he was here in town.
Flying high on jesus, high on jesus,
I'm so high I'm never coming down.
One man buys a nickel sack,
Another buys a cadillac,
They both think they will drive their cares away.
But neither thinks to lend a hand
To help his struggling fellow man,
They'd better buy their tickets now for judgment day.
Oh, friend, let's try to score
For peace and not for war,
For love and not for hate
Before it gets too late.
Let's get high on jesus, high on jesus,
Ain't you ever heard the nashville sound ?
Flying high on jesus, high on jesus,
I guess, my friend, the lord still gets around.
An angry mob confronted me
By the university,
¡°down with this and down with that¡± they cried.
A burning bottle in his hand,
A long-haired youth screamed, ¡°come on, man,
The conscience of america has died!¡±
¡°friend, I don't get my kicks
Starting fires and throwing bricks,
I pray someday you find
The gentle reason i'm
So high on jesus, high on jesus,
They tried to put his body under ground.
Flashing high on jesus, high on jesus,
But friend, you just can't keep the good man down.¡±
Oh, let's get high on jesus, high on jesus,
They tried to put his body under ground.
Flashing high on jesus, high on jesus,
(Kinky Friedman)
In faded gabardine he used to stand
Down by the Union Station with that ol¡¯ hat in his hand.
A banjo-pickin¡¯ devil, a singin¡¯ rag-time saint.
The young folks called him beautiful, the old folks called him quaint.
And the station-master pointed to the sign
And they busted him for loiterin¡¯ when he was makin¡¯ memories rhyme.
Out in the falling snow he¡¯d sing his song
To a world too cold to listen and too white to sing along.
Just a Nashville casualty and life
Done left him without a dime.
Ever since the good Lord took his wife
You¡¯ll find him strummin¡¯ on the corner all the time.
And most of Music City never the saw the world within the song
Of a Nashville casualty and life ¡ª goes on.
In the attic sets a dusty hat and cane
And the kids they found a banjo there all rusted from the rain.
I strummed a little rusty rag-time beat
And I sang for every soul out on the street.
I could almost see him standin¡¯ in the rain
His black and blinded face reflectin¡¯ all the pain
Of all the years and people passin¡¯ by
And all the ringin¡¯ memories that can make a banjo cry.
Just a Nashville casualty and life
It's a riff that's hell to play.
You sings for your livin¡¯ in the street
And you sleeps in the back of some caf¨¦
And most of Music City never sees the world within the song
Of a Nashville casualty and life ¡ª goes on.
(traditional)
I ain't gonna work on the railroad
Ain't gonna work on the farm
Gonna lay round the shack
Till the mail train comes back
Roll in my sweet baby's arms.
Roll in my sweet baby's arms
Roll in my sweet baby's arms
Lay around the shack
Till the mail train comes back
Roll in my sweet baby's arms.
Where were you last friday night
While I was laying here in jail ?
You were walking the streets with another man,
Wouldn't even go my bail.
Roll in my sweet baby's arms
Roll in my sweet baby's arms
Gonna lay around the shack
Till the mail train comes back
Roll in my sweet baby's arms.
I ain't gonna work on the railroad
I ain't gonna work on the farm
Gonna lay around the shack
Till the mail train comes back
Roll in my sweet baby's arms.
Roll in my sweet baby's arms
Roll in my sweet baby's arms
Gonna lay around the shack
Till the mail train comes back
Roll in my sweet baby's
Roll in my sweet baby's
Roll in my sweet baby's arms.
Alright, kids, risin' up the bow, ready for twin fiddles now,
Mary and larry you two ready together now, alright ?
(kinky friedman)
Well, it's retro rocket time inside my attic
I'm all wrapped up in the flag to keep me warm
Got my brain locked in the cruise-o-matic
Rollin' ronnie reagan in suppository form
Flyin' down the freeway
Jettin' down to l.a., it sets me free
Going back to nature in my jew canoe
Flyin' down the freeway all the way with you
I'll tell the maharishi that I've seen ya
I'm a-travelin' east until I know I'm free
I'll take the midnight flight to british guinea
Ain't nobody casting asparagus on me
Flyin' down the freeway
Jettin' down to l.a., it sets me free
Going back to nature in my jew canoe
Flyin' down the freeway all the way with you
I'll get a mule and be a flat land farmer
Grow a little bumper crop of grass
In hollywood I'll total my karma
I'm gonna cast my seed upon the ground
Gonna covet my neighbor's ass
I'm flyin' down the freeway
Jettin' down to l.a., it sets me free
Going back to nature in my jew canoe
Flyin' down the freeway all the way with you
Well, past the pipe of peace in our abode
Buried in the ruins of mexico
We'll dip some snuff in mainline guacamole
We'll listen to the opry upon the radio
Flyin' down the freeway
Jettin' down to l.a., it sets me free
Going back to nashville in my jew canoe
(chinga chavin, kenny ¡°snakebite¡± jacobs)
We don't have no love in's in el paso
We don't go to porno picture shows
We don't swap our wives with our neighbors
And we keep our kids away from mexico.
And I'm proud to be an asshole from el paso
A place where sweet young virgins are deflowered.
You walk down the street knee-deep in tacos
Ta-ta-ta-tacos
And the wetbacks still get twenty cents an hour.
We don't wipe our asses on old glory,
God and lone star beer are things we trust.
We keep our women virgins till they're married
So hosin' sheep is good enough for us.
And I'm proud to be an asshole from el paso
A place where sweet young virgins are deflowered.
You walk down the street knee-deep in tacos
Ta-ta-ta-tacos
And the wetbacks still get twenty cents an hour.
I'm proud to be an asshole from el paso
A place where sweet young virgins are deflowered.
You walk down that street knee-deep in tacos
Ta-ta-ta-tacos
(roy edward burris, merle ronald haggard)
We don't smoke marijuana in muskogee
We don't take no trips on lsd
We don't burn our draft cards down on main street
We like living right and being free.
We don't make a party out of loving
But we like holding hands and pitching woo.
We don't let our hair grow long and shaggy
Like the hippies out in san francisco do.
And I'm proud to be an okie from muskogee
A place where even squares can have a ball.
We still wave old glory down at the courthouse
And white lightning's still the biggest thrill of all.
Boots are still in style manly footwear,
Beads and roman sandals won't be seen.
Football's still the roughest thing on the campus
And the kids there still respect the college dean.
And I'm proud to be an okie from muskogee
I swear even squares can have a ball.
We still wave old glory down at the courthouse
And white lightning's still the biggest thrill of all,
(Kinky Friedman & Jeff Shelby)
When I find myself alone in my house and in my head
And I blow the candles out and I take myself to bed
And I¡¯m old enough to realize, ah, young enough to know
When the Lord closes the door, he opens a little window.
When sleep closes my eyes and sends me searching for you
And I¡¯m feelin¡¯ blue as the sky without your love to carry me through
And I¡¯m weak enough to be afraid but strong enough to let it show.
When the Lord closes the door, he opens a little window.
Baby I¡¯m a gypsy boy, I¡¯ll ride the night until
I come to you like moonlight through your raggle-taggle window sill.
When you find yourself alone in your house and in your head
And you blow the candles out and you take yourself to bed
And you¡¯re old enough to realize, ah, young enough to know
When the Lord closes the door, he opens a little window.
(kinky friedman & panama red)
She climbed the stairs that mornin'
Found him rather pale
His eyes they were the color
Of half-drunk ginger ale.
Faithful as a magnavox
Hung-up on a song
She cried down to the breakfast nook,
¡°ward, there's something wrong.¡±
Somethin's wrong with the beaver
Somethin's wrong with the beaver
Somethin's wrong with the beaver
The beaver I believe-uh is gone.
Beaver was a dreamer,
Never got it right.
Died in livin' color,
Lived in black an' white.
Faithful as a magnavox
Hung-up on a song
She cries down to the breakfast nook,
¡°ward, there's something wrong.¡±
Somethin's wrong with the beaver
Somethin's wrong with the beaver
Ward!
Somethin's wrong with the beaver
The beaver I believe-uh is gone.
Somethin's wrong with the beaver
Ward!
Somethin's wrong with the beaver
Lord!
Somethin's wrong with the beaver
Ooh!
Somethin's wrong with the beaver
Somethin's wrong with the beaver
Beaver, huh!
(kinky friedman & panama red)
My heart is on my sleeve,
Do you still believe ?
Are you listenin' to the tide roll in, watchin' ships at sea ?
When I come sailin' home again will you be there for me,
There for me ?
Treasure ships of yore
Grace the ocean floor
Columbus sailed for italy, columbus sailed for spain.
Columbus sailed a wishin' well, columbus died in chains,
Died in chains.
I don't pretend to know every answer
To everything that life may ask of me.
Hey, I'm popeye the sailor man
I'm popeye the sailor man
Hey, popeye the sailor man
And I sail the lonely sea eternally.
My true love calls to me from far across the sea.
She says, ¡°red skies in the mornin'
Sailor take warnin'
Sail with me tonight
Sailor's delight, sailor's delight.¡±
I don't pretend to know every answer
To everything that life may ask of me.
Hey, I'm popeye the sailor man
Popeye the sailor man,
Popeye the sailor man
And I sail the lonely sea eternally.
She said, ¡°popeye the sailor man
Popeye the sailor man
Oh, popeye the sailor man
(kinky friedman)
Did I hear you say you wished that you could leave her ?
Has some foolish disagreement made you blind ?
If you traveled round this world, you wouldn't find another girl
To hold the candle to the guy you left behind.
And boy, she's carrying the torch for you
Though solid tears may fall, you never know.
But on the day that you discover how much you really love her
You'll find her love has never lost it's glow.
She believed ya when you pledged her your devotion
When she watched you as you walked right out the door.
After all that she's been through tonight she still believes in you
As she stands there all alone upon the shore.
And boy, she's carrying the torch for you,
Though her heart may break, you never know.
But on the day that you discover how much you really love her
You'll find her love has never lost it's glow.
You know, I still remember the first time I ever saw her.
You see, I was coming home from overseas,
And well, she was just standing there as the ship was comin' in.
Well, she really stood out from the crowd, I can tell you that.
And the golden light of dawn was gleaming in her eyes.
Well, there's some folks that call her proud,
And there's some folks that call her wild,
And there's some that even go so far as to call her free,
And then there's some ...
Well they just call her the statue of liberty!
And boy she's carrying the torch for you
Thank you!
Her love light shines for all this world to see.
Thank you very much!
And on that day
Thank you!
You'll find a way to love her
(ray wylie hubbard)
He was born in oklahoma
His wife's name is betty jo thelma liz.
He's not responsible for what he's doing;
His mother made him what he is.
And it's up against the wall redneck mother
Mother who has raised her son so well.
He's thirty-four and drinking in them honky-tonks
Just kicking all them hippies' asses raising hell.
Well, you know, he sure likes to drink that lone star beer
And he chases it down with that wild turkey bourbon liquor.
He got a ¡®57 gmc pick ¡®em up truck with a gun rack
And a ¡°i'd rather be a roper than a doper¡± bumper sticker.
And it's up against the wall redneck mother
Mother who has raised her son so well.
He's thirty-four and drinking in them honky-tonks
Just kicking all them hippies' asses raising hell.
M is for the mud flaps you gave me for my pick-up truck
O is for the oil I put in my pick-up truck, drain it out, and put grease on my hair,
T is for tolly parton,
H is for haggard
E is for el paso and
R is for redneck!
And it's up against the wall redneck mother
Mother who has raised her son so well.
He's thirty-four and drinking in them honky-tonks
Kicking all them hippies' asses raising hell.
And it's up against the wall redneck mother
Mother who has raised her son so well.
And he's thirty-four and drinking in them honky-tonks
Just kicking all them hippies' asses raising hell.
Where, kinky ?
(kinky friedman, roger friedman, panama red)
Mama, baby, mama, let me jump in your pajamas, hey!
Mama, baby, mama, ooh, you're getting warmer, hey!
Mama, baby, kiss me, mama, baby, hug me,
Mama, baby, mama, let me dig your baby monkey.
Mama, baby, mama, I come from alabama, hey!
Mama, baby, mama, would you let me strum a banjo on my knee.
Mama gonna rock ya, mama gonna roll ya
Mama gonna hold ya like I never told ya!
Mama, baby, mama, I'd like to jump in your pajamas, hey!
Mama, baby, mama, ooh, you're getting warmer, hey!
Mama, baby, kiss me, mama, baby, hug me,
Mama, baby, mama, let me drive your favorite monkey.
(kinky friedman, panama red)
Well, the boogie man
Gonna get you and
Snatch you up and whip you off to boogie land.
If you don't watch out
He'll make you scream and shout,
He the boogie man.
He the boogie man.
He gonna have them ants
Crawlin' in your pants
With them creatures in your seat you got to leap up to your feet you know you gotta dance
To the boogie man,
To the boogie man, babe,
He the boogie man.
The boogie man, he's got a little piece of land,
He got a mean ol' lady keeps him gentle as a lamb.
He got a dog named frog and vw van,
The neighbors all think he's an insurance man.
When the moon come out, the kids all shout
¡°hey bring him out, come on, bring him out!¡±
He picks up his guitar, there's a change inside
From the good dr. jekyll to the bad mr. hyde.
Come on and clap your hands
For the boogie man.
He the wicked master
Of the screamin' telecaster
And the one-night stand
He the boogie man.
He the boogie man, babe,
He the boogie man.
The boogie man's got a little piece of land,
He got a mean ol' lady keeps him gentle as a lamb.
Got a dog named frog and vw van
The neighbors all think he's an insurance man.
But when the moon come out, the kids all shout
¡°hey, bring him out, come on, bring him out!¡±
He picks up his guitar, there's a change inside
(peter lafarge)
Gather round me people and a story I will tell
¡®bout a brave young indian lad, you should remember well,
From a tribe of pima indians, a proud and peaceful band
Who farmed the phoenix valley out in arizona land.
Down their ditches for a thousand years the sparkling water rushed
Till the white man stole the water rights and the running water hushed.
Ira's folks was hungry, their fields grew thick with weeds,
But when war came ira volunteered and forgot the white man's greed.
Call him drunken ira hayes, he won't answer anymore,
Not that whiskey drinking indian or marine who went to war.
Well, they battled up iwo jima hill, two hundred and fifty men
But only twenty-seven lived to walk back down again.
And after the fight was over and old glory proudly raised,
Among the men who held her high was an indian, ira hayes.
Call him drunken ira hayes, he won't answer anymore,
Not that whiskey drinking indian or marine who went to war.
Well, ira hayes returned a hero, celebrated throughout the land,
He was wined and speeched and honored, everybody shook his hand.
But he's just a pima indian, no food, no friend, no chance,
And nobody cared what ira did and when do the indians dance.
Well, ira took to drinking hard, jail often was his home,
They used to let him raise the flag there and lower it just like you'd throw a dog a bone.
And ira died drunk early one morning all alone in the land he'd fought to save.
Two inches of water in a lonely ditch was the grave for ira hayes.
Call him drunken ira hayes, he won't answer anymore,
Not that whiskey drinking indian or marine who went to war.
Yeah, call him drunken ira hayes, but his land is till as dry
And his ghost, well, that's lying thirsty in the ditch where ira died.
Call him drunken ira hayes, he won't answer anymore,
(bobby gene emmons, chips moman)
The only two things in life that make it worth living
Is guitars tuned good and firm-feeling women.
Well, I don't need my name in the marquee lights,
I got my song and I got you with me tonight.
Let's go to luckenbach, texas
With waylon and willie and the boys
This successful life we're living's
Got us feuding like the hatfields and mccoys.
Between hank williams pain songs,
Steve goodman train songs,
Blue eyes crying in the rain,
Out in luckenbach, texas,
Ain't nobody feeling no pain.
So baby let's sell your diamond ring
To buy some boots and faded jeans and go away.
This coat and tie is choking me
In your high society you cry all day.
We've been so busy keeping up with the jones
Four-car garage and we're still building on.
maybe its time we got back to the basics of love
Let's go to luckenbach, texas,
Waylon and willie and the boys.
This successful life we're living's
Got us feuding like the hatfields and mccoys.
Between hank williams pain songs,
Steve goodman train songs,
Blue eyes crying in the rain,
Luckenbach, texas,
(tom paxton)
He was a man and a friend always
He stuck with me in the hard old days.
He never cared if I had no dough,
We rambled round in the rain and snow.
And here's to you, my ramblin' boy,
May all your ramblin' bring you joy.
Here's to you, my ramblin' boy,
May all your ramblin' bring you joy.
In tulsa town, we chanced to stray.
We thought that we, we might work one day.
The boss said he had room for one,
Said my old pal, ¡°we'd rather bum¡±.
And here's to you, my ramblin' boy,
May all your ramblin' bring you joy.
Here's to you, my ramblin' boy,
May all your ramblin' bring you joy.
Then late one night in a jungle camp
The weather it, it was cold and damp.
He got the chills, he got 'em bad,
I lost the only friend I had.
And here's to you, my ramblin' boy,
May all your ramblin' bring you joy.
Here's to you, my ramblin' boy,
May all your ramblin' bring you joy.
My ramblin' pal has rambled on,
My ramblin' boy, he's dead and gone.
If when we die, we go somewhere,
I'll bet you a dollar he's ramblin' there.
And here's to you, my ramblin' boy,
May all your ramblin' bring you joy.
Here's to you, my ramblin' boy,
May all your ramblin' bring you joy.
(kinky friedman, panama red)
Jesus said to pilate, ¡°remember the golden rule:
Love thy neighbor, don't you step on my blue suede shoes.¡±
Pilate, he said to jesus, ¡°hey, you know this ain't no sunday school¡±
Baby, everybody knows that the wheel's gotta roll,
Rock and roll across the usa.>
Wichita said to crazy horse,
¡°horse, we're gonna let you choose
¡®cause you'll have the huntin' ground of the reservation blues
You'd better slide over sitting bull-over, we got a highway coming through.¡±
Baby, everybody knows that the wheel's gotta roll
Rock and roll across the usa, yeah-yeah-yeah!
Jesus said to pilate, ¡°remember the golden rule:
Love thy neighbor, don't you step on my blue suede shoes.¡±
Pilate, he said to jesus, ¡°hey, you know this ain't no sunday school¡±
Baby, everybody knows that the wheel's gotta roll
Rock and roll across the us<
Everybody knows that the wheel's gotta roll
Rock and roll across the us
Everybody knows that the wheel's gotta roll
Rock and roll across the us
Roll across the us
(kinky friedman)
Well, I'm here to say I got turned away from studio 54
Back to neon lights and lonely nights and saw-dust on the floor
And if she ever loved me, she don't love me anymore,
And if anyone should ask me, here's who I'm singing for:
For the people who read people magazine,
For the soap opera lovers, for the home-town bowling team,
For everybody everywhere who's ever lost a dream,
For the people who read people who read people magazine.
Now if you're too new york for texas, too texas for l.a.
You been chasing trends like rainbow ends but you're always just a song away
And if the white house wouldn't have ya, play in every little honky-tonk and bar
The good lord made the heavens, ah but he never made a star.
No, it's the people who read people magazine,
It's the soap opera lovers, it's the home-town bowling team,
It's everybody everywhere who's ever lost a dream,
For the people who read people who read people magazine.
And to tell you the truth this telephone booth gets lonesome in the rain,
But son, I'm 21 in nashville and I'm 43 in maine.
And when your mama gets home, would you tell her I phoned, it'd take a life-time to explain
That I'm a country-picker with a bumper-sticker that says: ¡°god bless john wayne¡±.
And bless the people who read people magazine,
Bless the soap opera lovers, bless the home-town bowling team,
Bless everybody everywhere who's ever lost a dream,
For the people who read people who read people magazine.
(kinky friedman)
In faded gabardine he used to stand
Down by the union station with that ol' hat in his hand.
A banjo-pickin' devil, a singin' rag-time saint.
The young folks called him beautiful, the old folks called him quaint.
And the station-master pointed to the sign
And they busted him for loiterin' when he was makin' memories rhyme.
Out in the falling snow he'd sing his song
To a world too cold to listen and too white to sing along.
Just a nashville casualty and life
Done left him without a dime.
Ever since the good lord took his wife
You'll find him strummin' on the corner all the time.
And most of music city never the saw the world within the song
Of a nashville casualty and life ¡º goes on.
In the attic sets a dusty hat and cane
And the kids they found a banjo there all rusted from the rain.
I strummed a little rusty rag-time beat
And I sang for every soul out on the street.
I could almost see him standin' in the rain
His black and blinded face reflectin' all the pain
Of all the years and people passin' by
And all the ringin' memories that can make a banjo cry.
Just a nashville casualty and life
It's a riff that's hell to play.
You sings for your livin' in the street
And you sleeps in the back of some café
And most of music city never sees the world within the song
(kinky friedman)
She was only a waitress in a highway cafe
Poured coffee from dusk until dawn
But she's heart-broken 24 hours a day
For she longed for her trucker who'd gone
"will you make it a corned beef on rye"
He'd sing with a gleam in her eye
Oh, the headlights were burning
And the big wheels were turning
Her sweetheart would come by and by
He'd park his great semi off route 64
She'd blush with a sweet little sigh
For at half past eleven, he'd walk in the door
And order a corned beef on rye
"will you make it a corned beef on rye"
He'd sing with a gleam in her eye
The jukebox was blarin'
His soft eyes were starin'
And the corned beef would come by and by
All the drivers remember that night, so they say
She'd said her farewells to them all
But when the hands on the clock reached a quarter past twelve
Her suitcase still stood in the hall
And the hours passed by even as the trucks passed by out on the highway
And then two grim highway patrolmen came into the place
They shook the rain from their hats
And as the poor girl brought them their coffee
These were the words that they said
"hey, curly, did you see that old diesel flattened out
Like your damned nose up by the predicament tonight?
"well, he jack-knifed that son of a bitch slicker than owl shit!
"i'll have a chilli dog over here, baby.
"hell, you don't suppose that he had a little ol' hog way down the line somewhere, do you?
"hey now, curly, don't you know that them damn truckers
They got to take up a little filly at every cafe from here to las cruces!"
Now there is a small truck-stop on route 64
If you happen to be passin' by
There's a trucker that never stops in anymore
There's a waitress who wished she knew why
"oh, make it a corned beef on rye"
She sings with a tear in her eye
And as her dark eyes are glistening
There's someone who's listening
In that highway cafe in the sky
"oh, we'll make you the corned beef on rye"
She sings with a tear in her eye
And as her dark eyes are glistening
There's someone who's listening
(waylon jennings, willie nelson)
A long time forgotten
Dreams that just fell by the way.
The good life he promised,
It ain't what she's living today.
She's never complaining
Of the bad times and the bad things he's done.
Lord, she just talks about the good times they've had
And the good times to come.
She's a good-hearted woman
In love with a good-timing man.
She loves him in spite of his ways
That she don't understand.
Through teardrops and laughter
They'll pass through this world hand in hand
A good-timing woman
In love with a good-hearted man.
He likes the bright lights and night life
And good-timing friends.
When the party's all over
She'll welcome him back home again.
Kinky!
Lord knows she don't understand him
She does the best that she can,
This good-hearted woman
Loving a good-timing man.
Kinky, aw!
She's a good-hearted woman
In love with a good-timing man,
She loves me in spite of my wicked ways
She don't understand.
Through teardrops and laughter
We'll pass through this world hand in hand,
A good-timing woman
In love with a good-hearted man.
She's a good-timing woman
In love with a good-hearted man.
She loves me in spite of my donald duck ways
She don't understand.
(one more time!)
Through teardrops and laughter
We'll pass through this world hand in hand
Kinky!
A good-timing woman
In love with a good-hearted man.
Ah-ooh!
A good-timing woman
In love with a good-hearted man.
Ah-ooh!
(ray stevens)
Let me tell you ¡®bout ahab the arab, the sheik of the burning sand,
He had emeralds and rubies just a-dripping off ¡®a him and a ring on every finger of his hand.
He wore a big old turban wrapped around his head, a scimitar by his side
And every evening about midnight he'd jump on his camel named clyde.
And ride silently through the night to the sultan's tent
Where he would secretly meet up with fatima of the seven veils.
She was the swingin'est number one dancer in the sultan's whole harem.
It was like him and her they had a little adam going, you see,
Behind the old bugger's back.
And you could hear him talking to his camel
And as he rode out across the dunes past the oil wells
His voice would cut through the still night desert air
And he'd say, ¡°maaaaaaa oyy oyy oyy !!!¡±
Which is arabic for ¡°oh, baby ...¡±
And clyde would say, ¡°yewrah raaaoww uh uh uh uh uh!¡±
Well, he brought his camel to a screeching halt at the rear of fatima's tent,
Jumped off clyde, snuck around the corner and into the tent he went.
There he saw fatima laying on a, on a zebra skin rug,
With rings on her fingers, bells on her toes and a bone in her nose, eeeeyye.
There she was friends and neighbors, laying there in all her radiant beauty,
She was eating on a raisin, had a grape, and an apricot, and a pomegranate,
A bowl of chitterlings, two bananas, three hershey bars, four burritos,
Sipping on a frozen margarita, listening to a transistor radio,
Watching the grand ole opry, reading rolling stone magazine and singing rocky mountain high.
And ahab walked up to her and he said, ¡°yeeeiiaaaahowowhidehowdihi!¡±
Which is arabic for, ¡°let's boogie again like we did last summer, baby.¡±
And she said, ¡°oh, ahab, ah ha uh, ahab.¡± ¡°crazy, baby.¡±
And that's the story about ahab the arab, the sheik of the burning sand,
He had emeralds and rubies just a-dripping off ¡®a him and a ring on every finger of his hand.
He wore a big old turban wrapped around his head, a scimitar by his side,
Just a ship out on the ocean, a speck against the sky
Amelia Earhart flying that sad day
With her partner, Captain Noonan, on the second of July
Her plane fell in the ocean far away
There?s a beautiful, beautiful field
Far away in a land that is fair
Happy landings to you, Amelia Earhart
Farewell, first lady of the air
Half an hour later her SOS was heard
Her signal?s weak but still her voice was brave
In shark-infested waters her aeroplane went down that night
In the blue Pacific to a watery grave
There?s a beautiful, beautiful field
Far away in a land that is fair
Happy landings to you, Amelia Earhart
Farewell, first lady of the air
Now you heard my story 'bout this awful tragedy
We all pray she?ll fly home safe again
In years to come, though others blaze a trail across the sea
We?ll ne?er forget Amelia and her plane
There?s a beautiful, beautiful field
Far away in a land that is fair
Happy landings to you, Amelia Earhart
Farewell, first lady of the air