2008 MTV Movie Awards (2008)

Actors: James Franco (actor), Dana Carvey (actor), Will Ferrell (actor), Jon Favreau (actor), Steve Carell (actor), Jack Black (actor), Jason Bateman (actor), Michael Bay (actor), Sean Combs (actor), Chris Brown (actor), Tom Cruise (actor), Johnny Depp (actor), Robert Downey Jr. (actor), Zac Efron (actor), Brendan Fraser (actor),

Genres: Music,

Quotes:

Ben Stiller: Where... where's Robert?::Jack Black: Eh, he said he wanted his own, personal introduction. Ladies and gentlemen, the biggest movie-star on the planet, the greatest actor of all time... forged in the cauldron of his own genius... the one and only man of iron... I give you: Robert Downey Junior!

The Ultimate Clip Collection: Alice Cooper (2003)

Actors: Dana Carvey (actor), Alice Cooper (actor), Mike Myers (actor), Ozzy Osbourne (actor), Alice Cooper (composer), Nigel Dick (director), Joe Satriani (actor), Lisa Hollingshead (producer),

Genres: Short,

Saturday Night Live: The Best of Dana Carvey (1999)

Actors: Dana Carvey (actor), Dana Carvey (actor), Dana Carvey (actor), Dana Carvey (actor), Dana Carvey (actor), Dana Carvey (actor), Phil Hartman (actor), Phil Hartman (actor), Jon Lovitz (actor), Jon Lovitz (actor), Jon Lovitz (actor), Michael McKean (actor), Tim Meadows (actor), Tim Meadows (actor), Corbin Bernsen (actor),

Plot: This edition of Saturday Night Live represents the most versatile actor and stand-up comedian ever! Dana always played crazy characters from Church Lady, Ross Perot, George Bush, Garth Algar, Grumpy Old Man, the gross Massive Head-Wound Harry, John McLaughlin, to Johnny Carson and Charles Grodin.

Keywords: character-name-in-title, tv-special
Genres: Comedy,

Quotes:

Massive Head-Wound Harry: He must smell my dog.

Ross Perot: Now is this the way we're gonna play the game here? Are you guys gonna keep asking these assinine questions until you see some dirty pictures is that what you want? Is that what you require? Now imagine if you will, that you were a father, now imagine the nausea you'd feel seeing a picture of your daughter on the eve of her wedding, your own flesh and blood altered in this sick fashion. Take a look. [Holds up photo of his daughter and Madonna kissing] Are you happy? This is a picture generated by the Republican's dirty tricks team. Using a computer paid for by Pac money, now this is a perfectly lovely picture of my daughter and they've cut her fiancee out and put Madonna in there to make her look like a lesbian. Are you happy now? Any more questions? Yes.::Reporter: How do we know this picture came from a Republican dirty tricks team and not from your own organization?::Ross Perot: Now didn't I just tell you where the picture came from? Have you seen the picture? Did I just start speaking Portuguese up here and not know it?

Ross Perot: Two years ago, and I have not revealed this until now for reasons I will not go into, two years ago in the middle of the night at my house in Dallas, I was awaken by a disturbance outside on my lawn so I went outside and engaged in hand to hand combat with four men and a small dog. I took the four men out and was about to tie up the dog when it looked up at me and said, "aren't you Ross Perot?" Now I nearly dropped a load, that dog spoke perfect English now listen carefully, now who is the world leader in talking dogs? It's the Republican party. I rest my case.

Reporter: Aren't you going to say: Live form New York, it's Saturday Night?::Ross Perot: I don't wanna discuss what I may or may not say, you are not listening!::Reporter: But how are we going to start the show if you don't say it?::Ross Perot: Is that the way the game is played? You can't start the show without saying that? You can't just say: "Here's the funny show, enjoy!" You can't do that? Okay, fine, fine. Live from New York, it's Saturday Night!

John McLaughlin: There is intelligent life in the eleventh galaxy on the planet Neptor which will conquor earth in the year 5482, utilizing us for slave labor in the Seronian salt mines.

George Michael: And I ask you, where was my butt? One full minute and not one shot of my butt! You saw it, I bloody wanted to kill the editor. It was shot of boot, then shot belt, bull fighter, hair, crowd, face, hat, bull, boot, hair. And I told them specifically that it was supposed to be butt shot, shot of the hair, back to the butt, hand, butt, hand, butt, hand, butt, belt, butt, beard, butt, belt, butt, earring, face, butt, butt, earring, hold on the butt, hold on the butt, it's a formula but it bloody works!

Tom Brokal: Gerald Ford dead today at the age of 83.::Producer: Good, now one for next year.::Tom Brokal: Gerald Ford dead today at age 84.::Producer: Now one for if he's shot.::Tom Brokal: Gerald Ford shot dead today at age 83.::Producer: Add the word senseless.::Tom Brokal: Okay, Gerald Ford shot dead at the senseless age of 83.

Former President George Bush: Hi. I was your president from 1989 to 1993, and during that time, Saturday Night Live made fun of me on a fairly regular basis. Do I have any hard feelings about this? Yes I do. I'll have my revenge when the time is right. Not now. Wouldn't be prudent at this junction.

Tom Brokal: Stunning news from Yorbalinda today as Richard Nixon's corpse climbed out of his grave and strangled Gerald Ford to death.

Dennis Miller: Here with a commentary is a grumpy old man. Welcome Grumpy Old Man.::Grumpy Old Man: I'm old and I'm not happy. Everything today is improved and I don't like it. I hate it! In my day we didn't have hair dryers. If you wanted to blow dry your hair you stood outside during a hurricane. Your hair was dry but you had a sharp piece of wood driven clear through your skull and that's the way it was and you liked it! You loved it. Whoopee, I'm a human head-kabob. We didn't have Manoxidol and Hair Wings, in my day if your hair started falling out when you were 16 by 19 you were a bald freak. There was nothing you could do about it. Children would spit at you and nobody would mate with you so you couldn't pass on your disgusting baldness genes. You were a public menace, a crome dome by age 20 and that's the way it was and we liked it! We loved it. Hallelujiah look at me, I'm a bald freak oh happy day! Not like today, everybody feeling good about themselves. I hate it! In my day we didn't have these thin laytex condoms. So you could enjoy sexual pleasure. In my day there was only one kind of condom. You took a rabbit skin and wrapped around your privates and tied it off with a bungee cord and you couldn't feel nothing! And half the time you didn't even know your partner was there. And we used the same one over and over again! 'Cause we were ignorant morons! Just a bunch of hairless, head-kabobs standing around with rabbit skins on our dinks and that's the way we liked it!

Wayne's World 2 (1993)

Actors: Bob Odenkirk (actor), Bob Pepper (actor), Mike Myers (actor), Ed O'Neill (actor), Googy Gress (actor), Charlton Heston (actor), Jay Leno (actor), Ted McGinley (actor), Ralph Brown (actor), Chris Farley (actor), Tim Meadows (actor), Dana Carvey (actor), James Hong (actor), Kevin Pollak (actor), Joe Perry (actor),

Plot: Wayne is back, this time trying to organize a rock festival with help from friend Garth and the spirit of Jim Morrison (Doors). Meanwhile, his girlfriend's manager is busy trying to woo her away from Wayne and move her to LA. Life gets interesting when Wayne must rush from the concert to try and stop the wedding. Aerosmith are featured at the concert.

Keywords: 1990s, based-on-sketch-comedy, based-on-tv-series, broken-glass, car-falling-off-a-cliff, cell-phone, character-name-in-title, concert, cult-film, desert
Genres: Comedy, Music,
Taglines: You'll laugh again! You'll cry again!! You'll hurl again!!!

Quotes:

Cassandra: Wait, let me show you what I got at a garage sale.::Wayne: What'cha got?::Cassandra: Isn't that great? You've heard it?::Wayne: Exqueese me? Have I seen this one before? "Frampton Comes Alive"? Everybody in the world has Frampton Comes Alive. If you lived in the suburbs you were issued it. It came in the mail with samples of "Tide".::Cassandra: Look at this old one. Gerry and the Pacemakers.::Wayne: Wow. That is old. You know, I bet those guys actually have pacemakers by now.

Del Preston: So there I am, in Sri Lanka, formerly Ceylon, at about 3 o'clock in the morning, looking for one thousand brown M&Ms; to fill a brandy glass, or Ozzy wouldn't go on stage that night. So, Jeff Beck pops his head 'round the door, and mentions there's a little sweets shop on the edge of town. So - we go. And - it's closed. So there's me, and Keith Moon, and David Crosby, breaking into that little sweets shop, eh. Well, instead of a guard dog, they've got this bloody great big Bengal tiger. I managed to take out the tiger with a can of mace, but the shopowner and his son... that's a different story altogether. I had to beat them to death with their own shoes. Nasty business, really. But, sure enough, I got the M&Ms;, and Ozzy went on stage and did a great show.

Del Preston: Woodstock? That was quite a show, man.::Garth: You were at Woodstock?::Wayne: Excellent! What was it like?::Del Preston: It rained all morning, and then it cleared up in the afternoon. And that's it, I almost remembered something else, but it's gone.

Del Preston: Alright, ladies and gentlemen. It takes two people to run a concert: one back stage, and one out front. One man alone cannot do this. Wayne, you will run the backstage team. Milton, you are my liaison between Wayne's backstage team and Garth's front-stage team which includes myself in the booth. To the left and right of the stage are machine-gun pillboxes, M-60 Browning. Now these babies tend to heat up so shoot in 3 second bursts. In the event of capture I will personally distribute these cyanide capsules to be placed under the tongue like so. [Places a capsule in his mouth] Any questions?::Garth: Yes, I have a question. When did you turn into a nutbar?

Garth: So, did Jim Morrison give you Del Preston's exact address?::Wayne: Yeah, he said EXACTLY London, England.

Garth: Uh, Wayne, you know, I don't think you should mention that Jim Morrison thing anymore. It's just that people have started to talk, you know. They're saying things like, "Hey, there goes Garth and his friend Wayne... the psychopath."

Glenn: So Wayne, I hear you're putting on some kind of concert. That's good. People need to be entertained, they need the distraction. I wish to God that someone would be able to block out the voices in my head for five minutes, the voices that scream, over and over again: "Why do they come to me to die? Why do they come to me to die?"

Garth: How can you sleep like that?::Del Preston: Listen, sonny Jim. Sleeping like this will add ten years to your life. I learned it from Keith Richards when I toured with the Stones. This may be the reason why Keith cannot be killed by conventional weapons.

[Pickup-line]::Honey Horne: So, would you like to have dinner one night?::Garth: Oh, I like to have dinner every night.

Honey Horne: I bet you like to be in control...::Garth: Yes, like when I was 17, my sister wanted to loan my Def Leppard. I said "No way!".

MTV Video Music Awards 1992 (1992)

Actors: Kirk Hammett (actor), Peter Gabriel (actor), Bobby Brown (actor), John Corbett (actor), Flea (actor), Doug Bradley (actor), David Grohl (actor), Bryan Adams (actor), Dana Carvey (actor), Dana Carvey (actor), Eric Clapton (actor), Bono (actor), Andrew Dice Clay (actor), Adam Clayton (actor), James Hetfield (actor),

Genres: Music,

Wayne's World (1992)

Actors: Colleen Camp (actress), Lara Flynn Boyle (actress), Robert Patrick (actor), Meat Loaf (actor), Alice Cooper (actor), Mike Myers (actor), Ed O'Neill (actor), Kurt Fuller (actor), Robert Patrick (actor), Rob Lowe (actor), Brian Doyle-Murray (actor), Chris Farley (actor), Dana Carvey (actor), Ione Skye (actress), Tia Carrere (actress),

Plot: Wayne is still living at home. He has a world class collection of name tags from jobs he's tried, but he does have his own public access TV show. A local station decides to hire him and his sidekick, Garth, to do their show professionally and Wayne & Garth find that it is no longer the same. Wayne falls for a bass guitarist and uses his and Garth's Video contacts to help her career along, knowing that Ben Oliver, the sleazy advertising guy who is ruining their show will probably take her away from him if they fail.

Keywords: 1990s, airplane, airport, aurora-illinois, based-on-sketch-comedy, based-on-tv-series, basement, bike, blockbuster, breaking-the-fourth-wall
Genres: Comedy, Music,
Taglines: You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll hurl. One world. One party.

Quotes:

Garth Algar: Benjamin is nobody's friend. If Benjamin were an ice cream flavor, he'd be pralines and dick.

Garth Algar: Hey Mr. Donut Man, who's trying to kill ya? I don't know but they better not!

Wayne Campbell: Garth, marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries.

Wayne Campbell: All I have to say about that is "asphinctersayswhat".::Noah Vanderhoff: What?::Wayne Campbell: Exactly.

Garth Algar: Uhm, Wayne? What do you do if every time you see this one incredible woman, you think you're gonna hurl?::Wayne Campbell: I say hurl. If you blow chunks and she comes back, she's yours. But if you spew and she bolts, then it was never meant to be.

Wayne Campbell: Am I supposed to be a man? Am I supposed to say, "It's OK, I don't mind, I don't mind"? Well, I mind! I mind big time! And you know what the worst part is? I NEVER LEARNED TO READ.::Cassandra: Is that true?::Wayne Campbell: Yes, everything except the reading part.

Tiny: Wayne. How you doin'?::Wayne Campbell: Hey, Tiny, who's playing today?::Tiny: Jolly Green Giants and the Shitty Beetles.::Wayne Campbell: Shitty Beetles? Are they any good?::Tiny: They suck.::Wayne Campbell: Then it's not just a clever name.

Garth Algar: Did you ever see that "Twilight Zone" where the guy signed a contract and they cut out his tongue and put it in a jar and it wouldn't die, it just grew and pulsated and gave birth to baby tongues? Pretty cool, huh?

Stacy: Happy anniversary, Wayne.::Wayne Campbell: Stacy, we broke up two months ago.::Stacy: Well, that doesn't mean we can't still go out, does it?::Wayne Campbell: Well, it does actually, that's what breaking up is.

Stacy: Well, don't you want to open your present?::Wayne Campbell: If it's a severed head, I'm going to be very upset.::Stacy: Open it.::Wayne Campbell: What is it?::Stacy: It's a gun rack.::Wayne Campbell: A gun rack... a gun rack. I don't even own *a* gun, let alone many guns that would necessitate an entire rack. What am I gonna do with a gun rack?::Stacy: You don't like it? Fine. You know Wayne, if you're not careful, you're going to lose me.::Wayne Campbell: I lost you two months ago. We broke up. Are you mental? Get the net!