On the Waterfront

Cast

• Andrew O'Connor
• Kate Copstick
• Terry Randall
• Bernie Nolan
• Barry Manilow
• Rolf Harris
• Nina Myskow
• Peter Howitt
• Phil Cornwell
• Liz Kershaw
• Caron Keating
• Gary Wilmot
• Matthew Kelly
• Michael Groth
• Jon Pertwee
• Kylie Minogue
• Claire Rayner
• Chris Packham
• Murray Walker
• Henry Kelly
• Debbie McGee

• Season 1
• Episode 1: (#1.1)
  Lantern Jaw: Once more, I've defeated the evil forces of Scraksore.::Female Crew Member: [they hear ...
• Episode 2: (#1.2)
  Griff 1: Well, I mean you can't have the two Griffs.::Griff 2: No.::Griff 1: I mean like, cause it's...
• Episode 3: (#1.3)
  Soldier: Well sir, at the end of the last episode, the Flashing Blade disguised himself as one of th...
• Episode 4: (#1.4)
  The Flashing Blade: [lowers voice] Hi there, I'm the incredibly handsome Flashing Blade.::Heroine: Y...
• Episode 5: (#1.5)
  The Flashing Blade: I'm astonishingly brave and clever you know... I amaze myself.::Heroine: I think...
• Episode 6: (#1.6)
  Heroine: I'm so in love with the Shoulder Blade.::Fred: Flashing Blade, ma'am.::Heroine: Why is he c...
• Episode 7: (#1.7)
  Lantern Jaw: How strange, we keep running past the same bit of scenery....
• Episode 8: (#1.8)
  Evil Moustache: We've got to find a way to keep the viewers watching without the Flashing Blade. All...
• Episode 9: (#1.9)
  UK...
• Episode 10: (#1.10)
  Posh announcer: And now a chase which is not very exciting 'cause we've run out of scenery, I thank ...
• Episode 11: (#1.11)
  Fred: Aw, look the enemy army.::The Flashing Blade: Gosh what a big budget. There must be thousands ...
• Episode 12: (#1.12)
  Fred: [the final episode of The Flashing Blade has been canceled] Don't cry.::The Flashing Blade: On...
• Season 2
• Episode 1: (#2.1)
  Zara: Oh Troy, I feel so helpless.::Troy: Not yet, Zara. Wait till the action starts....
• Episode 2: (#2.2)
  Highlights include: Making a presenter: Andy Crane. Mr. & Mrs. Norman Normal meet Mark Curry, Kate g...
• Episode 3: (#2.3)
  Toy: Well Brainless, have you finished the Very Good Car modifications?::Brainless: Sure have, Troy ...
• Episode 4: (#2.4)
  Obi-Wan Kenobi: Look, Luke, Darth Vader is your father and I am your mother. Chewie's dad is Bungle ...
• Episode 5: (#2.5)
  Barry Manilow: What do you call Barry Manilow in a carpark? A nosy parker....
• Episode 6: (#2.6)
  Troy: Well, things seem quiet on Space Station Amiga these days. [Zara screams]::Brainless: What was...
• Episode 7: (#2.7)
  The Flashing Blade: If the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain, why don't people go by boat?...
• Episode 8: (#2.8)
  Mayor of Steel City: Something very odd's going on. Last night I sat down for my tea, a nice crispy ...
• Episode 9: (#2.9)
  Troy: It seems that by locking up every small animal in the world, we've stopped Bad Brenda turning ...
• Episode 10: (#2.10)
  Chief: [after humming the theme to 'Mission: A Bit Complicated] So, where did you two come from?::Te...
• Episode 11: (#2.11)
  Interviewer: [off screen] So, if I'm right, you can't even have a normal conversation and you have t...
• Episode 12: (#2.12)
  Pointy Beard: [on the verge of tears ] It's the last episode! It's all over, it's so sad.::The Flash...
• Season 3
• Episode 1: (#3.1)
  The start of a half hour series of highlights from the two Saturday morning seasons known as "On the...
• Episode 2: (#3.2)
  Lantern Jaw faces Scraksore's vast and incredible machine. The Flashing Blade disguises himself as a...
• Episode 3: (#3.3)
  The Two Griffs change their act into the Two Rons. Andrew riffs on satellite TV during his stand up ...
• Episode 4: (#3.4)
  This compilation features the documentary on the plight of The Folkies who Couldn't Stop Singing. Mr...
• Episode 5: (#3.5)
  Highlights include: Question Time with Mr. Backingtrack. Female Crewmember takes Lantern Jaws place ...
• Episode 6: (#3.6)
  Magician David Copperpot flies over the Mercy river without the aid of any naughty camera trickery. ...
• Episode 7: (#3.7)
  Lantern Jaw finds a seemingly peaceful planet where all the inhabitants worship the Disco Goddess Ky...
• Episode 8: (#3.8)
  The Blockhead family come to the conclusion that most other people are just clever. A man who only s...

• On The Waterfront - Anti-nowhere League
• On The Waterfront - The Anti-Nowhere League
• On The Waterfront - Cockney Rejects

Put their slogans on the factory wall
The lights go down, darkness falls
On the waterfront
We appear from a world of cold and steel
Discarded by the industrial wheel
On the waterfront
But down the dockland late at night
The fires of London burn so bright
No one cares, or sheds a tear
For those who live through their nights of fear
On the waterfront
We live together
On the waterfront
We stay forever
On the waterfront
They push us away, they close the door
In the part of the city that no-one saw
On the waterfront
And so we move like ghosts through a timeless zone
Through the midst of the river we call our home
On the waterfront
But down the dockland late at night
The fires of London burn so bright
No one cares, or sheds a tear
For those who live through their nights of fear
On the waterfront
We live together
On the waterfront
We stay forever
On the waterfront
On the waterfront
We live together
On the waterfront
We stay forever
On the waterfront
We appear from a world of cold and steel
Discarded by the industrial wheel
And no one cares, or sheds a tear
For those who live through their nights of fear
On the waterfront
We live together
On the waterfront
We stay forever
On the waterfront
On the waterfront
We live together
On the waterfront
We stay forever

Put their slogans on the factory wall
The lights go down, darkness falls
On the waterfront
We appear from a world of cold and steel
Discarded by the industrial wheel
On the waterfront
But down the dockland late at night
The fires of London burn so bright
No one cares, or sheds a tear
For those who live through their nights of fear
On the waterfront
We live together
On the waterfront
We stay forever
On the waterfront
They push us away, they close the door
In the part of the city that no-one saw
On the waterfront
And so we move like ghosts through a timeless zone
Through the midst of the river we call our home
On the waterfront
But down the dockland late at night
The fires of London burn so bright
No one cares, or sheds a tear
For those who live through their nights of fear
On the waterfront
We live together
On the waterfront
We stay forever
On the waterfront
On the waterfront
We live together
On the waterfront
We stay forever
On the waterfront
We appear from a world of cold and steel
Discarded by the industrial wheel
And no one cares, or sheds a tear
For those who live through their nights of fear
On the waterfront
We live together
On the waterfront
We stay forever
On the waterfront
On the waterfront
We live together
On the waterfront
We stay forever
On the waterfront

alright, i know it's sad soppy music
but i ain't taking the piss
just wanna say the truth
cos that's how this song is
cos there's too many people
thinking they're just like us
and if you wanna know the truth
they're full of puss
hey little rich boy what do you wanna do
wanna be a rebel in your
new bondage suit
got a license to scream anarchy
it's all over now
your daddy he could buy you
anything you want
but the fact that matters most
is that he can't
he can't buy our way of living
it's all over now
now i know what you wanna be
you're crying inside to be some one like me
the truth hurts more than anything
that is why those words that you sing
now i'm standing on the water front
i wanna know who's the biggest cunt
cos on the waterfronts where
you wanna be
it's all over now
you wanna plat at being rebels
but you know you ain't on that level
and if you could change for just a day
you would't wanna stay that way
you wouldn't want to stay that way
you'd soon run back to what you was
and that can only be because
a little public scoolboy sing
about the waterfront
you don't know what it means
you poor misguided cunt
but it ain't really the place to go
listen to the ones
the ones who really know
yeah i mean the dockers sons
the forgotten ones you know
i know that you wanna be like me
you hate being in your middle class tree
cos on the waterfronts where
you want to be