Titus Filmography

• Black Toys White Boys (2002)
• Airtight Granny (2001)
• Pension pervers (2001)
• The Ultimate Granny Gang Bang (2000)

Titus Filmography

• One Day in Africa (2009)

Titus Filmography

• Ciao Manhattan (1972)

Titus

Based on the real-life dysfunctional family of comedy in Christopher Titus, the show deals with his character, his brother, and their friends dealing with his crude, abusive, sadistic drunken father, and how the guy has twisted and ruined his own life. All in a light-hearted comedy vein.

Cast

• Cynthia Watros
• Zack Ward
• David Shatraw
• Stacy Keach
• Christopher Titus
• Mary Lou Rosato
• Rachel Roth
• Dylan Capannelli
• Phoenix Forsyth
• Evan Ellingson
• Adam Hicks
• Frances Fisher
• Michelle Krusiec
• Susan Barnes
• Hamilton Camp
• Fred Sanders
• Elizabeth Berkley
• Jack Kenny

• Season 1
• Episode 1: Sex with Pudding
  [first lines]::Christopher Titus: [turns on light] When you're born, you're pure. Unspoiled and trus...
• Episode 2: Dad's Dead
  [after Titus tries to get Tommy to discover Ken's "dead" body]::Tommy Shafter: I don't want to see M...
• Episode 3: Dave Moves Out
  Christopher Titus: Honesty... [confused look]... but that is not the way of my people....
• Episode 4: The Break-Up
  [explaining his affair with a waitress]::Christopher Titus: She said 'Want some pie?' I didn't know ...
• Episode 5: Titus Integritous
  [Titus is refusing, on principle, to add a racing wing to a custom hot rod]::Christopher Titus: I'm ...
• Episode 6: Red Asphalt
  Erin Fitzpatrick: [calling 911] We're on I-5 being chased by a guy with a gun!::911 Operator: Where ...
• Episode 7: Mom's Not Nuts
  Christopher Titus: [Erin sits next to Titus' mother] Honey, you're in her kill zone....
• Episode 8: Intervention
  Tommy Shafter: Why did you tell him?::Erin Fitzpatrick: I...::Ken Titus: She didn't! I heard her tel...
• Episode 9: Episode Eleven
  Juanita Titus: [screaming off camera] You ruined my life you bastard!::Ken Titus: [to baby Christoph...
• Season 2
• Episode 1: Titus Is Dead
  Nurse Kathy: Are you talking? Because I'm fine with you dying. The murderer has paid me through the ...
• Episode 2: The Test
  Ken Titus: I heard you've got the AIDS....
• Episode 3: The Surprise Party
  Christopher Titus: Every man remembers the day he left the nest and went out on his own. Actually, I...
• Episode 4: What's Up, Hollywood
  Ken Titus: Look, can't I just tell my son that I'm proud of him and I love him?::Christopher Titus: ...
• Episode 5: Locking Up Mom
  Christopher Titus: Excuse me. Why is a violent manic-depressive schizophrenic running the front desk...
• Episode 6: The Perfect Thanksgiving
  Christopher Titus: 'Eating yams... Spit a pill in my hand... M-ya-cet!'...
• Episode 7: Tommy's Girlfriend
  [Carol has locked herself in Titus' office]::Christopher Titus: Now what?::Dave Scouvel: Titus, we a...
• Episode 8: The Reconciliation
  [Juanita's fiancee Bill is analyzing the Titus family]::Ken Titus: He sounds like some dime store sh...
• Episode 9: The Last Noelle
  Christopher Titus: 'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house / Not a creature was ...
• Episode 10: Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!
  [first lines]::Christopher Titus: Normal people, want to be accepted. Screwed up people, want to be ...
• Episode 11: When I Say Jump
  [first lines]::Christopher Titus: The closer you get to death, the more alive you feel. Dylan Thomas...
• Episode 12: Episode 27
  [Titus is showing Kathy the tape of Ken's drunk driving arrest]::Christopher Titus: Has anybody else...
• Episode 13: The Smell of Success
  [first lines]::Christopher Titus: [turns on light] To be successful in life, there are many hurdles ...
• Episode 14: Deprogramming Erin
  Erin (Age 5): [flashback] Daddy, can you teach me how to read?::Erin's Dad: Aw, you don't need to le...
• Episode 15: NASCAR
  Christopher Titus: What's the worst thing you can do to a pretty woman?::Ken Titus: Throw hot acid i...
• Episode 16: Life Forward
  Jerry October: You must be Ken Titus, I'm Jerry October, welcome to "Life Forward", where people dis...
• Episode 17: The Gift of the Car Guy
  Erin Fitzpatrick: Hey! Car drive not work me, everything think that solves you?::Christopher Titus: ...
• Episode 18: Tommy's Girlfriend II
  Tommy Shafter: Titus! Titus! Tiffany fell. I think she broke her neck. Call 911.::Nancy: Ah, I'll ca...
• Episode 19: Hard-Ass
  Tommy Shafter: It's Amy! Well, well someone's turning into a woman.::Amy Fitzpatrick: Yeah, and I'm ...
• Episode 20: Private Dave
  Dave Titus: I was supposed to kill myself an hour ago.::Christopher Titus: Well, I just got your sui...
• Episode 21: Three Strikes
  [seeing a man with a rifle at a gun store]::Christopher Titus (age 5): I want a gun, Dad.::Ken Titus...
• Episode 22: The Pit
  Jay Leno: With this humidity, your janitor here has got something.::Ken Titus: What do you know abou...
• Episode 23: The Pendulum
  [last last lines]::The Actual Ken Titus: There's about 10% of truth to any part of this....
• Episode 24: The Wedding
  [ Bill punches Mom in the face ]::Titus: There are three things keeping me from killing you. #1 It's...
• Season 3
• Episode 1: Racing in the Streets
  Ken Titus: What's the hurry. Your 15 kids will still be waiting for you when you get home!::Castro: ...
• Episode 2: Amy's Birthday
  [first lines]::Christopher Titus: Normal people, who grow up with compassion, never amount to anythi...
• Episode 3: Tommy's Not Gay
  [last lines]::Christopher Titus: Everybody's a racist. Wouldn't it be easier if people stayed with p...
• Episode 4: Shannon's Song
  [first lines]::Christopher Titus: "Losing builds character." You know who said that? A loser! Guy wh...
• Episode 5: Grad School
  [first lines]::Christopher Titus: I have a dream. With that one sentence, Martin Luther King touched...
• Episode 6: Houseboat
  [a hung-over Ken comes around in a houseboat decorated for Christmas... ]::Ken Titus: Crap, I died a...
• Episode 7: The Trial
  [about Juanita killing her husband at Titus and Erin's wedding]::Erin Fitzpatrick: It was not an exe...
• Episode 8: Grandma Titus
  Tommy Shafter: Do you remember me, Mrs. Titus?::Grandma Titus: Of course, Tommy. Have you found a ni...
• Episode 9: Errrr
  [first lines]::Christopher Titus: Being a teenager is the worst thirty years of your life. Peer pres...
• Episode 10: Tommy's Crush
  Christopher Titus: Dad, what are we, German-Irish?::Ken Titus: White. That's all that matters.::Erin...
• Episode 11: Into Thin Air
  [hanging from a tree]::Christopher Titus: You can't handle your own life.::[Christopher falls and ge...
• Episode 12: Too Damn Good
  [first lines]::Christopher Titus: Life, is easy. And if yours isn't, quit whining. Oh, wait. unless ...
• Episode 13: Bachelor Party
  Ken Titus: Come on, let's go! I'm out of booze and sober is nipping at my heels!::Nicky: Oh, boo hoo...
• Episode 14: Hot Streak
  Erin Fitzpatrick: You want him to have your kind of fun. You need to go have *his* kind of fun.::Chr...
• Episode 15: The Session
  [Titus ruins Erin's therapy session when he finds out she used him]::Erin Fitzpatrick: [seeing his f...
• Episode 16: Same Courtesy
  Christopher Titus: Dad thinks vengeance is the coolest thing about the Lord. That, and turning water...
• Episode 17: After Mrs. Shafter
  [to Perry]::Ken Titus: Shouldn't you be out there dancing with the construction worker, the cop, and...
• Episode 18: The Visit
  [first lines]::Christopher Titus: Being a parent is a life sentence. You see, that's why normal peop...
• Episode 19: Insanity Genetic: Part 1
  Stewardess: [after Ken Titus leaves a smokefilled airline bathroom] Sir? Were you smoking in the bat...
• Episode 20: Insanity Genetic: Part 2
  Christopher Titus: My random acts of violence weren't random. They were premeditated....
• Episode 21: The Protector
  Christopher Titus: [being seen with pot in his locker] Principal Wells! This is lettuce. If you get ...

• Lyrics: play full screen play karaoke
• Titus - Split Enz
• Titus - Trapped Under Ice

I found myself in silver dreams
I'm talking in my sleep to pawns & queens
Outspoken words, you know they just don't mean the same thing
Somebody must be kiddin' me
Somebody must be lying to me
Oh please don't tell me
Which is red and which is black
When are you coming back to me babe
Oh when are you coming back to me babe
I saw myself in checkered lands
I even dreamt I was the knight in command
The bishop screamed `Don't horse around boy'
Somebody must be kiddin' me
Somebody must be lying to me
And please don't tell me
I'm losing my way
You promised me everything now, didn't you babe?

Truth is heavy
Weighs down on my head
Once again innocence comes to an end
There's a girl just like the ones that I love
Can't afford to get high
She sells her body for the drugs because
Truth is harsh
Truth in unreal
Times are hard
It's going to get harder still
Truth is heavy
Weighs a ton
Cold as ice
Burns like the sun
There's a kid just like me
Can't get by, he's going to get a gun because the truth is harsh still
Truth is harsh
Waking up is getting harder and harder and harder
Don't know if I can keep living this life much further
I need an escape