WEEKLY

SMIRKER
Issue One April 2011 £1/50p

COLONEL GADDAFI OFF YOUR KNEES: CALL A GENERAL STRIKE NOW!
After the magnificent our class is doomed to repeat demonstration of 26th March, the defeats of the past. every workplace in the country The TUC refuses to call a is filled with proletarians asking general strike. Clearly, it is left the question, “What Next?” to Comrade Colonel Gaddafi to For us in the Socialist lead us in our resistance. He is Revolutionary Group, the the only force left with enough answer is clear. The British social weight in the masses, his anti-imperialist working class faces two great and enemies; the cuts, and credentials are unblemished if imperialism. While the you ignore all the deals he has government attempts to made with the West in the last strengthen the rule of capital at few years. home with its austerity It is clear that the Benghazi measures, it also seeks to strangle the people of the criminals are in the pay of Middle East with its imperialist imperialism. The contents of a captured Toyota pick-up shown machinations. on Libyan state TV included an Only a general strike now! American-made machine gun, can beat the government’s empty McDonalds wrappers plans at home and abroad and the complete series of Without a general strike now!, Friends on DVD.

Our Five Point Plan for revolution
1: Turn Trafalgar Square into Tahrir Square! We must emulate the Egyptian masses’ brilliant revolutionary strategy of standing around in the same place for three weeks. If they can do it there, we can etc etc! 2: Turn Tahrir Square into Albert Square! Let’s give the Egyptian working class a break and let them watch Eastenders. 3: Turn Albert Square into Times Square!

The Cockney masses have lived in drab squalor for too long. What do we want? More neon We are launching signs! Where do we want them? a campaign for the Walford! TUC to organise I n t e r n a t i o n a l 4: Turn Times Square into Brigades to fight for Tiananmen Square! the Arab Revolution Shoot the Americans down like alongside Gaddafi. dogs. Or as they say in New Contact Comrade Vanessa Redgrave York, “dawgs.” for more details. 5: Turn Tiananmen Square into Trafalgar Square! Hands off Libya! Hands AKs! With a huge column in the middle, the Communist Party on your could spot reactionary dissidents a mile off, making it easier to kettle them.

This map shows the movement of the hopeless Benghazi counterrevolutionaries

“Brendan Barber, Westminster SRG holds pay your tax!” successful storming London SRG teamed up with UK of Parliament Uncut this week to demand that fatcat union bosses pay their fair share of tax. Several dozen activists staged a sit-in at Congress House to demand that the Revenue and Customs takes action against highly-paid union general secretaries who are stashing their pay packets in international tax havens. Bob Crow from the RMT, who joined the protesters, said: “It’s disgraceful that some of these guys earn six-figure salaries, far more than their ordinary members have to live on. Why can’t they be like me and muddle along on ninety-five grand a year?” A UK Uncut spokesperson said: “Not even my parents earn as much as these guys.” The Westminster branch of the SRG held a successful public meeting on the need for a general strike on Wednesday, after which Parliament was seized.

Tariq Ali and Billy Hayes, general secretary of the CWU, introduced a lively discussion, which even included a couple of contributions from the floor. This was followed by a proposal to march on Parliament.

Dave, who works in local government, said: “When Billy Hayes set himself alight in Parliament Square, I found that really inspiring and it made me want to get involved.”

SPORT

Once the Palace of Westminster was taken, the new revolutionary council issued a proclamation announcing the nationalisation of the commanding heights of the economy, and the establishment of a workers’ Health worker Helen said: state based on new organs “Everyone in my workplace of class power. is really angry. It’s great to Seventeen copies of the see that someone is interested in channelling that Weekly Smirker were sold, anger into something we can and four people filled out do locally, like bringing down cards indicating they would like to join the SRG. the government.”

Trouble flares at Marxists vs. Anarchists match
This season’s game of the age-old fixture, Marxists vs. Anarchists, had to be abandoned after it descended into violence. The Marxists started brightly while the anarchists chose a non-hierarchical 100-0 formation. But Pannekoek and Gorter, playing down the Marxists’ left-wing, at times seemed more suited to the Anarchist style of play. A couple of early controversial decisions saw chants from the Marxist fans of “The referee’s a banker!” and “Who’s the bastard in the black (flag)?” The anarchist team was weakened by the absence of star-striker Bakunin, who is banned for six games for trying to overthrow FIFA president Sepp Blatter in a violent insurrection. Trouble flared after Marxist coach Leon Trotsky reportedly told his players at half-time to “shoot them down like partridges.” Halfway through the second half, fans from notorious anarchist “firm” the Black Bloc invaded the pitch, in a move denounced by many in the Marxist camp as “adventurist” and “counter-productive.”

Promising right-winger Nikolai Bukharin shows his skills