Auf Herz und Nieren (2001)

Actors

• Burt Reynolds (actor)
• Udo Kier (actor)
• Til Schweiger (editor)
• Til Schweiger (director)
• Til Schweiger (producer)
• Jochen Nickel (actor)
• Huub Stapel (actor)
• Oscar Ortega Sánchez (actor)
• Thierry van Werveke (actor)
• Samuel Finzi (actor)
• Steffen Wink (actor)
• Niels-Bruno Schmidt (actor)
• Martin Glade (actor)
• Mavie Hörbiger (actress)
• Volker Lechtenbrink (actor)

Genres

• Action
• Comedy

Taglines:

Das wichtigste auf der Welt ist ein guter Freund ... mit Herz (The most important thing in the world is a good friend ... with a heart)

Die Türken kommen (1970)

Actors

• Wolfgang Glück (writer)
• Wolfgang Glück (director)
• Carl Bosse (actor)
• Heinrich Trimbur (actor)
• Hilde Sochor (actress)
• Oskar Willner (actor)
• Tom Krinzinger (actor)
• Heribert Aichinger (actor)
• Renate Bauer (actress)
• Wolf Neuber (actor)
• Hedi Marek (actress)
• Paula Nefzger (actress)
• Gustav Dieffenbacher (actor)
• Gertrud Ramlo (actress)
• Hans Kraßnitzer (actor)

Genres

• Drama

• Lyrics: play full screen play karaoke
• New Math - Alexz Johnson
• No Myth - Michael Penn
• New Math - Tom Lehrer
• New Math - Bo Burnham
• New Math - Drive Like Jehu

Dear party of the first part, it's time to draw the line
It's time to make the list and divide up the broken heart
Dear mother of my daughter, dear father of my son
It's time to face the problem and find the proper dissolution
It's the new math
It's the new math.
We didn't add up so now we've got to divide
It's the new math
It's the new math
Don't you think it's strange how we multiply and divide
Get a piece of chalk
Put it on the blackboard
Husband minus wife
Sorry you had to learn to so young
This man is real life
This is the new math
This is the new math
We didn't so add up so now we've got to decide
This is the new math
This is the new math
Gonna think it's a shame cause we multiply and divide

So, she says it's time she goes
But wanted to be sure I know
She hopes we can be friends
I think, yeah, I guess we can say I
But didn't think to ask her why
She blocked her eyes and drew the curtains
With knots I've got yet to untie
What if I were Romeo in black jeans
What if I was Heathcliff, it's no myth
Maybe she's just looking for
Someone to dance with
See, it was just too soon to tell
And looking for some parallel
Can be an endless game
We, we said goodbye before hello
My secrets she will never know
And if I dig a hole to China
I'll catch the first junk to Soho
What if I were Romeo in black jeans
What if I was Heathcliff, it's no myth
Maybe she's just looking for
Someone to dance with
Sometime from now you'll bow to pressure
Some things in life you cannot measure by degrees
I'm between the poles and the equator
Don't send no private investigator to find me please
'Less he speaks Chinese
And can dance like Astaire overseas, okay
What if I were
What if I was
Maybe she's just looking for
Someone to dance with
What if I were Romeo in black jeans
What if I was Heathcliff, it's no myth
Maybe she's just looking for

Some of you who have small children may have perhaps been put in the embarrassing position of being unable to do your child's arithmetic homework because of the current revolution in mathematics
Hing known as the new math. so as a public service here tonight I thought I would offer a brief lesson in the new math. tonight we're going to cover subtraction. this is the first room I've work
R a while that didn't have a blackboard so we will have to make due with more primitive visual aids, as they say in the "ad biz." consider the following subtraction problem, which I wi
T up here: 342 - 173.
Now remember how we used to do that. three from two is nine; carry the one, and if you're under 35 or went to a private school you say seven from three is six, but if you're over 35 and went to
Lic school you say eight from four is six; carry the one so we have 169, but in the new approach, as you know, the important thing is to understand what you're doing rather than to get the right
Er. here's how they do it now.
You can't take three from two,
Two is less than three,
So you look at the four in the tens place.
Now that's really four tens,
So you make it three tens,
Regroup, and you change a ten to ten ones,
And you add them to the two and get twelve,
And you take away three, that's nine.
Is that clear?
Now instead of four in the tens place
You've got three,
'cause you added one,
That is to say, ten, to the two,
But you can't take seven from three,
So you look in the hundreds place.
From the three you then use one
To make ten ones...
(and you know why four plus minus one
Plus ten is fourteen minus one?
'cause addition is commutative, right.)
And so you have thirteen tens,
And you take away seven,
And that leaves five...
Well, six actually.
But the idea is the important thing.
Now go back to the hundreds place,
And you're left with two.
And you take away one from two,
And that leaves...?
Everybody get one?
Not bad for the first day!
Hooray for new math,
New-hoo-hoo-math,
It won't do you a bit of good to review math.
It's so simple,
So very simple,
That only a child can do it!
Now that actually is not the answer that I had in mind, because the book that I got this problem out of wants you to do it in base eight. but don't panic. base eight is just like base ten really
You're missing two fingers. shall we have a go at it? hang on.
You can't take three from two,
Two is less than three,
So you look at the four in the eights place.
Now that's really four eights,
So you make it three eights,
Regroup, and you change an eight to eight ones,
And you add them to the two,
And you get one-two base eight,
Which is ten base ten,
And you take away three, that's seven.
Now instead of four in the eights place
You've got three,
'cause you added one,
That is to say, eight, to the two,
But you can't take seven from three,
So you look at the sixty-fours.
"sixty-four? how did sixty-four get into it? " I hear you cry.
Well, sixty-four is eight squared, don't you see?
(well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.)
From the three you then use one
To make eight ones,
And you add those ones to the three,
And you get one-three base eight,
Or, in other words,
In base ten you have eleven,
And you take away seven,
And seven from eleven is four.
Now go back to the sixty-fours,
And you're left with two,
And you take away one from two,
And that leaves...?
Now, let's not always see the same hands.
One, that's right!
Whoever got one can stay after the show and clean the erasers.
Hooray for new math,
New-hoo-hoo-math,
It won't do you a bit of good to review math.
It's so simple,
So very simple,
That only a child can do it!
Come back tomorrow night. we're gonna do fractions.

So here's a song that takes something that's not so fun, math, and makes it offensive.
What's a pirate minus the ship? Just a creative homeless guy,
And an anteater plus a large hungry mutant ant? An ironic way to die
And what's domain, domain, range (xxy) a kid with too much in his pants
And two balls minus one, six titles at the Tour de France.
Split a decision with long division,
Take the circumference of your circumcision
Live like your data and when you're all "set"
Put it all together and whatever you get.
Is new math...
What's a bag of chips divided by five, that's a Nike worker's meal
And Santa clause multiplied by "I" well I guess that makes him real,
And the square root of the NBA is Africa in a box,
How do you trace a scatter plot? Give the pencil to Michael j fox.
Take the approximate moral proportion of the probable problem of a pro-life abortion
Live like your data, and when you're all "set"
Put it all together and whatever you get...
Is new math.
And if you made a factor tree of the factors that caused my girl to leave me you'd have a tree...
Full of Asian porn.
C-A-L-SEE-YOU-LATOR mathematical minds make industrial smog.
And what's the opposite of LN(X)[in other words a natural logarithm, duraflame the unnatural log.
Support the farmers with a pro-tractor,
Link Kennedy and Lincoln with a common factor
Live like your data, and when you're all "set"
Put it all together and whatever you get...
Yeah it's new, it's new, it's new, it's new,
It's new math.
Word problems
If there's a fat guy in a pastry shop with a twenty dollar bill and he's ready to buy,
In order to predict his volume change you need to know the value of pi
And there's a metal train that's a mile long and at the very back end a lightning bolt struck her,
How long til it reaches and kills the driver, provided that he's a good conductor,
And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a man chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees
And if Kim is half as old as bobby who is two years older then twelve year old tori,
For how many more 30 day months will their threesomes be considered statutory... rape
Because math can be sexy
Cause havin sex is like quadratic expansion if it can't be split then it's time to stop,
And havin sex is like doing fractions, it's improper for the larger one to be on top,
And havin sex is like math homework, I do it best when I'm alone in my bed.
And squarin numbers are just like women, if they're under thirteen just do them in your head...

Yeah I'd stoop to that.
Sure I would.
Yeah you've been had.
That's how I got my job at the underwriter's lab.
That's how I threw a wrench in everything I had a chance to.
That's how I fixed it.
That's what I did.
And now my knees are spotless and my legs are crossed.
And I needn't spread them.
Cause i can afford:
Piety, chastity, charity, your company.
That's how I lost my job at the underwriter's lab.
That's how I threw a wrench in everything I had a chance to.
That's how I fixed it.