Berlin, Irving Filmography

• 100 Years of the London Palladium (2010)
• Warner at War (2008)
• Easter Parade: On the Avenue (2005)
• New York: A Documentary Film (1999)
• We Can Keep You Forever (1988)
• Brother Can You Spare a Dime (1975)
• The 1974 Annual Entertainment Hall of Fame Awards (1974)
• The Golden Twenties (1950)
• Blue Skies (1946)
• This Is the Army (1943)
• This Is the Army (1943)
• Show-Business at War (1943)
• Holiday Inn (1942)
• Holiday Inn (1942)
• Alexander's Ragtime Band (1938)
• Alexander's Ragtime Band (1938)
• On the Avenue (1937)
• Hello Pop! (1933)
• Reaching for the Moon (1930)
• Mammy (1930)
• Glorifying the American Girl (1929)
• Alexander's Ragtime Band (1926)
• Stop, Look and Listen (1926)
• Oh How I Hate to Get Up in the Morning (1926)

Berlin, Irving Filmography

• She Freak (1967)
• Winter A-Go-Go (1965)
• Man in the 5th Dimension (1964)
• Operation Bottleneck (1961)
• The Clown and the Kid (1961)
• Shadow of the Boomerang (1960)
• Speed Crazy (1959)
• Run for the Hills (1953)

• Lyrics: play full screen play karaoke
• Leg Of Nations - Irving Berlin
• Learn To Sing A Love Song - Irving Berlin
• I Can't Do Without You - Irving Berlin
• I Can Always Find A Little Sunshine In The Y.m.c.a. - Irving Berlin
• For Your Country And My Country - Irving Berlin
• For The Very First Time - Irving Berlin
• Slumming On Park Avenue - Irving Berlin
• Sisters, Sisters - Irving Berlin
• Remember - Irving Berlin
• Lazy - Irving Berlin
• Just One Way To Say I Love You - Irving Berlin
• God Bless America - Irving Berlin
• How Can I Change My Luck - Irving Berlin
• Always - Irving Berlin
• A Fella With An Umbrella - Irving Berlin
• Now It Can Be Told - Irving Berlin
• How's Chances? - Irving Berlin
• Heat Wave - Irving Berlin
• Easter Parade - Irving Berlin
• Blue Skies - Irving Berlin
• I Can't Remember - Irving Berlin
• Ding Dong - Irving Berlin
• Diamond horseshoe - Irving Berlin
• Come To Holiday Inn - Irving Berlin
• All Of My Life - Irving Berlin
• All By Myself - Irving Berlin
• All Alone - Irving Berlin
• With My Head In The Clouds - Irving Berlin
• Count Your Blessings Instead Of Sheep - Irving Berlin
• Coquette - Irving Berlin
• No Strings (I'm Fancy Free) - Irving Berlin
• The Yam - Irving Berlin
• No Strings - Irving Berlin
• The Song Is Ended (But The Melody Lingers On) - Irving Berlin
• No One Could Do It Like My Father! - Irving Berlin
• The Old Man - Irving Berlin
• The Ocarina - Irving Berlin
• Sombrero Land - Irving Berlin
• Soft Lights And Sweet Music - Irving Berlin
• So Help Me - Irving Berlin
• Play A Simple Melody - Irving Berlin
• Pigtails And Freckles - Irving Berlin
• The New Moon - Irving Berlin
• My Little Book Of Poetry - Irving Berlin
• The Call Of The South - Irving Berlin
• Looking At You (Across The Breakfast Table) - Irving Berlin
• You've Got Me Hypnotized - Irving Berlin
• The Little Things In Life - Irving Berlin
• With Music - Irving Berlin
• You've Built A Fire Down In My Heart - Irving Berlin
• Whisper It - Irving Berlin
• You're Fun To Be With - Irving Berlin
• You're A Sucker For A Dame - Irving Berlin
• You're A Sentimental Guy - Irving Berlin
• You'd Be Surprised (Revised) - Irving Berlin
• You'd Be Surprised - Irving Berlin
• You Cannot Make Your Shimmy Shake On Tea - Irving Berlin
• The Little Red Lacquer Cage - Irving Berlin
• Yiddle On Your Fiddle, Play Some Ragtime - Irving Berlin
• Yiddisha Nightingale - Irving Berlin
• Yiddisha Eyes - Irving Berlin
• Yankee Love - Irving Berlin
• Woodman, Woodman, Spare That Tree! - Irving Berlin
• With You - Irving Berlin
• Wishing - Irving Berlin
• Wild Cherries - Irving Berlin
• Wild About You - Irving Berlin
• Whose Little Heart Are You Breaking Now? - Irving Berlin
• While The Band Played An American Rag - Irving Berlin
• Where Is The Song Of Songs For Me? - Irving Berlin
• When You're In Town - Irving Berlin
• When You're Down In Louisville (Call On Me) - Irving Berlin
• When You Walked Out Someone Else Walked Right In - Irving Berlin
• Watch your step - Irving Berlin
• When You Play That Piano, Bill! - Irving Berlin
• When You Kiss An Italian Girl - Irving Berlin
• When Winter Comes - Irving Berlin
• When The Folks High Up Do That Mean Lowdown - Irving Berlin
• When The Curtain Falls - Irving Berlin
• Wasn't It Yesterday - Irving Berlin
• Washington Twist - Irving Berlin
• When The Black Sheep Returns To The Fold - Irving Berlin
• When My Dreams Come True - Irving Berlin
• When It's Night Time In Dixie Land - Irving Berlin
• When It Rains, Sweetheart, When It Rains - Irving Berlin
• When I'm Out With You - Irving Berlin
• When I'm Alone I'm Lonesome - Irving Berlin
• When I Leave The World Behind - Irving Berlin
• When I Get Back To The U.s.a. - Irving Berlin
• When I Discovered You - Irving Berlin
• What The Well-Dressed Man In Harlem Will Wear - Irving Berlin
• What Is Love? - Irving Berlin
• What Does It Matter - Irving Berlin
• What Does He Look Like - Irving Berlin
• What Can You Do With A General - Irving Berlin
• We're On Our Way To France - Irving Berlin
• We'll Never Know - Irving Berlin
• We Saw The Sea - Irving Berlin
• We Made The Doughnuts Over There - Irving Berlin
• Was There Ever A Pal Like You? - Irving Berlin
• Waiting At The End Of The Road - Irving Berlin
• Wait Until You're Married - Irving Berlin
• Virginia Lou - Irving Berlin
• Until I Fell In Love With You - Irving Berlin
• This Is A Great Country - Irving Berlin
• Try It On Your Piano - Irving Berlin
• Top Hat White Tie And Tails - Irving Berlin
• To My Mammy - Irving Berlin
• Through A Keyhole - Irving Berlin
• This Time / Dressed Up To Win - Irving Berlin
• This Is The Life - Irving Berlin
• They're On Their Way To Mexico - Irving Berlin
• They Were All Out Of Step But Jim - Irving Berlin
• They Love Me - Irving Berlin
• They Like Ike - Irving Berlin
• Look Out For The Bolsheviki Man - Irving Berlin
• They Call It Dancing - Irving Berlin
• They Always Follow Me Around - Irving Berlin
• There's Something Nice About The South - Irving Berlin
• There's A Girl In Havana - Irving Berlin
• There Are Two Eyes In Dixie - Irving Berlin
• The Whistling Rag - Irving Berlin
• The Washington Square Dance - Irving Berlin
• The Waltz Of Long Ago - Irving Berlin
• The Voice Of Belgium - Irving Berlin
• The Syncopated Walk - Irving Berlin
• The Sterling Silver Moon - Irving Berlin
• The Song Of The Metronome - Irving Berlin
• The Secret Service - Irving Berlin
• The Road That Leads To Love - Irving Berlin
• The Ragtime Razor Brigade - Irving Berlin
• The Policeman's Ball - Irving Berlin
• The Piccolino - Irving Berlin
• The Passion Flower - Irving Berlin
• The Only Dance I Know (Song For Belly Dancer) - Irving Berlin
• The Near Future - Irving Berlin
• The Most Expensive Statue In The World - Irving Berlin
• The Monkey Doodle Doo! - Irving Berlin
• The Minstrel Parade - Irving Berlin
• The Lord Done Fixed Up My Soul - Irving Berlin
• Long As I Can Take You Home - Irving Berlin
• The Law Must Be Obeyed - Irving Berlin
• The Haunted House - Irving Berlin
• The Hand That Rocked My Cradle Rules My Heart - Irving Berlin
• The Girls Of My Dreams - Irving Berlin
• The Girl On The Police Gazette - Irving Berlin
• The Girl On The Magazine Cover - Irving Berlin
• The Funnies - Irving Berlin
• The Friars Parade - Irving Berlin
• The Freedom Train - Irving Berlin
• The First Lady - Irving Berlin
• The Devil Has Bought Up All The Coal - Irving Berlin
• The Blue Devils Of France - Irving Berlin
• The Best Things Happen While You're Dancing - Irving Berlin
• The Best Thing For You( Would Be Me ) - Irving Berlin
• The Best Of Friends Must Part - Irving Berlin
• The Army's Made A Man Out Of Me - Irving Berlin
• That's My Idea Of Paradise - Irving Berlin
• That Russian Winter - Irving Berlin
• That Revolutionary Rag - Irving Berlin
• That Opera Rag - Irving Berlin
• That Mysterious Rag - Irving Berlin
• That Monkey Tune - Irving Berlin
• That Mesmerizing Mendelssohn Tune - Irving Berlin
• That Kazzatsky Dance - Irving Berlin
• That Hula Hula - Irving Berlin
• That Dying Rag - Irving Berlin
• Thank You, Kind Sir! Said She - Irving Berlin
• Telling Lies - Irving Berlin
• Tell Me, Little Gypsy - Irving Berlin
• Teach Me How To Love - Irving Berlin
• Take Off A Little Bit - Irving Berlin
• Take Me With You, Soldier Boy - Irving Berlin
• Take It In Your Stride - Irving Berlin
• Sweeter Than Sugar (Is My Sweetie) - Irving Berlin
• Sweet Marie, Make a Rag a time Dance Wid Me - Irving Berlin
• Sweet Italian Love - Irving Berlin
• Swanee Shuffle - Irving Berlin
• Supper Time - Irving Berlin
• Spanish Love - Irving Berlin
• Stop, Stop, Stop (Come Over And Love Me Some More) - Irving Berlin
• Stop. Look. Listen. - Irving Berlin
• Stop That Rag (Keep On Playing, Honey) - Irving Berlin
• Stay Down Here Where You Belong - Irving Berlin
• Song Of Freedom - Irving Berlin
• Something To Dance About - Irving Berlin
• Someone's Waiting For Me (We'll Wait, Wait, Wait) - Irving Berlin
• Someone Just Like You - Irving Berlin
• Someone Else May Be There While I'm Gone - Irving Berlin
• Some Little Something About You - Irving Berlin
• Snow - Irving Berlin
• Smile And Show Your Dimple - Irving Berlin
• Sittin' In The Sun - Irving Berlin
• Sisters (Brothers) - Irving Berlin
• Si's Been Drinking Cider - Irving Berlin
• Lonely Heart - Irving Berlin
• Show Us How To Do The Fox Trot - Irving Berlin
• She Was A Dear Little Girl - Irving Berlin
• Shaking The Blues Away (Revised) - Irving Berlin
• Shaking The Blues Away - Irving Berlin
• Sex Marches On - Irving Berlin
• Settle Down In A One horse Town - Irving Berlin
• Send A Lot Of Jazz Bands Over There - Irving Berlin
• SAYONARA - Irving Berlin
• Say It With Music - Irving Berlin
• Sailor Song - Irving Berlin
• Sadie Salome (Go Home) - Irving Berlin
• Run Home And Tell Your Mother - Irving Berlin
• Roses Of Yesterday - Irving Berlin
• Revival Day - Irving Berlin
• Ragtime Violin! - Irving Berlin
• Ragtime Opera Medley - Irving Berlin
• Queenie - Irving Berlin
• Let's Say It With Firecrackers - Irving Berlin
• Puttin' On The Ritz (Revised) - Irving Berlin
• Prohibition - Irving Berlin
• Porcelain Maid - Irving Berlin
• Poor Little Rich Girl's Dog - Irving Berlin
• Polly, Pretty Polly (Polly With A Past) - Irving Berlin
• Please Let Me Come Back To You - Irving Berlin
• Piano Man - Irving Berlin
• Paris Wakes Up And Smiles - Irving Berlin
• Pack Up Your Sins (And Go To The Devil) - Irving Berlin
• Over The Sea, Boys - Irving Berlin
• Outside Of Loving You, I Like You - Irving Berlin
• Oh, What I Know About You - Irving Berlin
• Our Wedding Day - Irving Berlin
• Opening Chorus (Some Dough For The Army Relief) - Irving Berlin
• Ooh! Maybe It's You - Irving Berlin
• Only For Americans - Irving Berlin
• One O'clock In The Morning I Get Lonesome - Irving Berlin
• Once Upon A Time Today - Irving Berlin
• Oh, That Beautiful Rag - Irving Berlin
• Oh! Where Is My Wife Tonight? - Irving Berlin
• Nothing More To Say - Irving Berlin
• Nobody Knows (And Nobody Seems To Care) - Irving Berlin
• Next To Your Mother, Who Do You Love? - Irving Berlin
• My Wife's Gone To The Country (Hurrah! Hurrah!) - Irving Berlin
• My Walking Stick - Irving Berlin
• My Tambourine Girl - Irving Berlin
• My Sweetie - Irving Berlin
• My New York - Irving Berlin
• My Melody Dream - Irving Berlin
• Let's Keep In Touch While Dancing - Irving Berlin
• My Bird Of Paradise - Irving Berlin
• Mrs. Sally Adams - Irving Berlin
• Mr. Monotony - Irving Berlin
• Mr. Jazz Himself - Irving Berlin
• Move Over - Irving Berlin
• Mont Martre - Irving Berlin
• Molly O! Oh, Molly! - Irving Berlin
• Miss Liberty - Irving Berlin
• Metropolitan Opening - Irving Berlin
• Jimmy - Irving Berlin
• Meet Me Tonight - Irving Berlin
• m.e. - Irving Berlin
• Me And My Melinda - Irving Berlin
• Maybe It's Because I Love You Too Much - Irving Berlin
• Marrying For Love - Irving Berlin
• Marie From Sunny Italy - Irving Berlin
• Marie - Irving Berlin
• Man Bites Dog - Irving Berlin
• Maid Of Mesh - Irving Berlin
• Lucky Boy - Irving Berlin
• Love, You Didn't Do Right By Me - Irving Berlin
• Love Leads To Marriage - Irving Berlin
• Love And The Weather - Irving Berlin
• Lock Me In Your Harem And Throw Away The Key - Irving Berlin
• Little Fish In A Big Pond - Irving Berlin
• Little Butterfly - Irving Berlin
• Listening - Irving Berlin
• Lichtenburg - Irving Berlin
• Let's Start The New Year Right - Irving Berlin
• Let's Go West Again - Irving Berlin
• Let's Go Around The Town - Irving Berlin
• Let's Face The Music And Dance - Irving Berlin
• Let's All Be Americans Now - Irving Berlin
• Let Me Sing And I'm Happy - Irving Berlin
• Legend Of The Pearls - Irving Berlin
• Learn To Do The Strut - Irving Berlin
• Lead Me To Love - Irving Berlin
• Latins Know How - Irving Berlin
• Lady of the Evening - Irving Berlin
• It's Up To The Band - Irving Berlin
• It's The Little Bit Of Irish - Irving Berlin
• Ladies Of The Chorus - Irving Berlin
• Kitchen Police (Poor Little Me) - Irving Berlin
• Kiss Me My Honey, Kiss Me - Irving Berlin
• Kate (Have I Come Too Early, Too Late) - Irving Berlin
• Just Like The Rose - Irving Berlin
• Just A Little Longer - Irving Berlin
• It'll Come to You - Irving Berlin
• It Takes An Irishman To Make Love - Irving Berlin
• It Only Happens When I Dance With You - Irving Berlin
• It Isn't What He Said, But The Way He Said It! - Irving Berlin
• It Gets Lonely In The White House - Irving Berlin
• It All Belongs To Me - Irving Berlin
• Isn't This A Lovely Day (To Be Caught In The Rain) - Irving Berlin
• Is There Anything Else I Can Do For You? - Irving Berlin
• Is He The Only Man In The World? - Irving Berlin
• If I Had You - Irving Berlin
• Innocent Bessie Brown - Irving Berlin
• In The Shade Of A Sheltering Tree - Irving Berlin
• In the Morning - Irving Berlin
• In Our Hide away - Irving Berlin
• In Florida Among The Palms - Irving Berlin
• If You Haven't Got An Ear For Music - Irving Berlin
• If I Had My Way, I'd Live Among The Gypsies - Irving Berlin
• If You Don't Want My Peaches (You'd Better Stop Shaking My Tree) - Irving Berlin
• If The Managers Only Thought The Same As Mother - Irving Berlin
• If That's Your Idea Of A Wonderful Time (Take Me Home) - Irving Berlin
• If I Thought You Wouldn't Tell - Irving Berlin
• I've Got a Go Back To Texas - Irving Berlin
• I've Got Plenty To Be Thankful For - Irving Berlin
• I've Got My Captain Working For Me Now - Irving Berlin
• I've Got A Sweet Tooth Bothering Me - Irving Berlin
• I'm The Guy Who Guards The Harem - Irving Berlin
• I'm Sorry For Myself - Irving Berlin
• I'm Beginning To Miss You - Irving Berlin
• I'm Playing With Fire - Irving Berlin
• I'm On My Way Home - Irving Berlin
• I'm Not Prepared - Irving Berlin
• I'm Marching Along With Time - Irving Berlin
• I'm Looking For A Daddy Long Legs - Irving Berlin
• I'm Gonna Pin My Medal On The Girl I Left Behind - Irving Berlin
• I'm Gonna Get Him - Irving Berlin
• I'm Going On A Long Vacation - Irving Berlin
• I'm Going Back To The Farm - Irving Berlin
• I'm Getting Tired So I Can Sleep - Irving Berlin
• I'm Down In Honolulu Looking Them Over - Irving Berlin
• I'm A Happy Married Man - Irving Berlin
• I'll Take You Back To Italy - Irving Berlin
• I Wonder - Irving Berlin
• I'll Capture Your Heart Singing - Irving Berlin
• I'd Rather See A Minstrel Show - Irving Berlin
• I'd Rather Lead A Band - Irving Berlin
• I'd Love To Be Shot From A Cannon With You - Irving Berlin
• I'd Like My Picture Took - Irving Berlin
• I Wouldn't Give "that" For The Man Who Couldn't Dance - Irving Berlin
• I Wish That You Was My Gal, Molly - Irving Berlin
• I Want To Go Back To Michigan (Down On The Farm) ( - Irving Berlin
• I Used To Play It By Ear - Irving Berlin
• I Threw A Kiss In The Ocean - Irving Berlin
• I Say It's Spinach (And The Hell With It) - Irving Berlin
• I Poured My Heart Into A Song - Irving Berlin
• I Paid My Income Tax Today - Irving Berlin
• I Never Knew - Irving Berlin
• I Love You More Each Day - Irving Berlin
• I Love To Stay At Home - Irving Berlin
• I Love To Quarrel With You - Irving Berlin
• I Love To Have The Boys Around Me - Irving Berlin
• I Lost My Heart In Dixieland - Irving Berlin
• I Like Ike - Irving Berlin
• I Left My Heart At The Stage Door Canteen - Irving Berlin
• I Left My Door Open And My Daddy Walked Out - Irving Berlin
• I Keep Running Away From You - Irving Berlin
• I Just Came Back To Say Good Bye - Irving Berlin
• I Have Just One Heart For Just One Boy - Irving Berlin
• I Hate You - Irving Berlin
• I Didn't Go Home At All - Irving Berlin
• I Can't Tell A Lie - Irving Berlin
• I Beg Your Pardon, Dear Old Broadway - Irving Berlin
• How Many Times - Irving Berlin
• How Do You Do It, Mabel, On Twenty Dollars A Week - Irving Berlin
• How Deep Is The Ocean (How High Is The Sky) - Irving Berlin
• How Can I Forget (When There's So Much To Remember) - Irving Berlin
• How About A Cheer For The Navy? - Irving Berlin
• Homework - Irving Berlin
• Homeward Bound - Irving Berlin
• Homesick - Irving Berlin
• Home Again Blues - Irving Berlin
• Hey, Wop - Irving Berlin
• Herman Let's Dance That Beautiful Waltz - Irving Berlin
• Good Times With Hoover, Better Times With Al - Irving Berlin
• He's Getting Too Darn Big For A One horse Town - Irving Berlin
• He's A Rag Picker - Irving Berlin
• He's A Devil In His Own Home Town - Irving Berlin
• He Promised Me - Irving Berlin
• He Ain't Got Rhythm - Irving Berlin
• Harlem On My Mind - Irving Berlin
• God Gave You To Me - Irving Berlin
• Harem Life (Outside Of That Every Little Thing's All Right) - Irving Berlin
• Happy Holiday - Irving Berlin
• Happy Easter - Irving Berlin
• Grizzly Bear - Irving Berlin
• Goodbye, Girlie, And Remember Me - Irving Berlin
• Goodbye France - Irving Berlin
• Go Home And Tell It To Your Wife - Irving Berlin
• Glad To Be Home - Irving Berlin
• Give Me Your Tired, Your Poor - Irving Berlin
• Getting Nowhere (Running Around In Circles) - Irving Berlin
• Gee, I Wish I Was Back In The Army - Irving Berlin
• Furnishing A Home For Two - Irving Berlin
• From Here To Shanghai - Irving Berlin
• Fools Fall in Love - Irving Berlin
• Follow The Crowd - Irving Berlin
• Follies Minstrels - Irving Berlin
• Florida By The Sea - Irving Berlin
• Finale: What's This We Hear? - Irving Berlin
• Finale: Not For All The Rice In China - Irving Berlin
• Finale Ultimo: Somebody Handed Us A Ticket To Picket - Irving Berlin
• Finale Ultimo - Irving Berlin
• Falling Out Of Love Can Be Fun - Irving Berlin
• Eyes Of Youth - Irving Berlin
• Everything In America Is Ragtime - Irving Berlin
• Everyone In The World Is Doing The Charleston - Irving Berlin
• Everybody's Doin' It Now - Irving Berlin
• Everybody Step - Irving Berlin
• Everybody Knew But Me - Irving Berlin
• Ephraham Played Upon The Piano - Irving Berlin
• Empty Pockets Filled With Love - Irving Berlin
• Drum Crazy - Irving Berlin
• Drowsy Head - Irving Berlin
• Dreams, Just Dreams - Irving Berlin
• Dream On, Little Soldier Boy - Irving Berlin
• Draggy Rag - Irving Berlin
• Down Where The Jack O'lanterns Grow - Irving Berlin
• Down To The Folies Bergere - Irving Berlin
• Dorando - Irving Berlin
• Dont Wait Too Long - Irving Berlin
• Don't Take Your Beau To The Seashore - Irving Berlin
• Come To The Land Of The Argentine - Irving Berlin
• Don't Send Me Back To Petrograd - Irving Berlin
• Don't Put Out The Light - Irving Berlin
• Don't Be Afraid Of Romance - Irving Berlin
• Dog Gone That Chilly Man - Irving Berlin
• Do Your Duty Doctor! (Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Doctor) - Irving Berlin
• Do You Believe Your Eyes Or Do You Believe Your Baby? - Irving Berlin
• Debts - Irving Berlin
• Dear Mayme, I Love You - Irving Berlin
• Dat's a My Gal - Irving Berlin
• Dance With Me (Tonight At The Mardi Gras) - Irving Berlin
• Dance And Grow Thin - Irving Berlin
• Cuddle Up - Irving Berlin
• Come Along To Toy Town - Irving Berlin
• Come Along Sextette - Irving Berlin
• Colored Romeo - Irving Berlin
• Cohen Owes Me Ninety seven Dollars - Irving Berlin
• Climbing Up The Scales - Irving Berlin
• Christmastime Seems Years And Years Away - Irving Berlin
• Choreography - Irving Berlin
• Chinese Firecrackers - Irving Berlin
• Ceremonial Chant - Irving Berlin
• Can You Use Any Money Today? - Irving Berlin
• Bring Me A Ring In The Spring And I'll Know That You Love Me - Irving Berlin
• Call Me Up Some Rainy Afternoon - Irving Berlin
• But! She's Just A Little Bit Crazy - Irving Berlin
• But Where Are You? - Irving Berlin
• But I Ain't Got A Man - Irving Berlin
• Business Is Business - Irving Berlin
• Bring On The Pepper - Irving Berlin
• Bring Back My Lovin' Man - Irving Berlin
• Bring Back My Lena To Me - Irving Berlin
• Blow Your Horn - Irving Berlin
• Bevo - Irving Berlin
• Better Luck Next Time - Irving Berlin
• Bells - Irving Berlin
• Behind The Fan - Irving Berlin
• Before I Go And Marry, I Will Have A Talk With You - Irving Berlin
• Because I Love You - Irving Berlin
• Beautiful Faces - Irving Berlin
• Back To Back - Irving Berlin
• At The Court Around The Corner - Irving Berlin
• At Peace With The World - Irving Berlin
• Araby - Irving Berlin
• Apologia (Opening Letter, Opening Chorus) - Irving Berlin
• Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better - Irving Berlin
• Any Bonds Today? - Irving Berlin
• Angels Of Mercy - Irving Berlin
• Along Came Ruth - Irving Berlin
• And Father Wanted Me To Learn A Trade - Irving Berlin
• An Orange Grove In California - Irving Berlin
• An Old fashioned Wedding - Irving Berlin
• An Old fashioned Tune Always Is New - Irving Berlin
• American Eagles - Irving Berlin
• Always Treat Her Like A Baby - Irving Berlin
• Alice In Wonderland - Irving Berlin
• Alexander And His Clarinet - Irving Berlin
• After You Get What You Want, You Don't Want It - Irving Berlin
• After The Honeymoon - Irving Berlin
• Abraham - Irving Berlin
• A Syncopated Cocktail - Irving Berlin
• A Serenade To An Old fashioned Girl - Irving Berlin
• A Sailor's Not A Sailor ('til A Sailor's Been Tattooed) - Irving Berlin
• A Man Chases A Girl (Until She Catches Him) - Irving Berlin
• A Little Bungalow - Irving Berlin
• A Couple Of Swells - Irving Berlin
• A Couple Of Song And Dance Men - Irving Berlin
• A Beautiful Day In Brooklyn - Irving Berlin
• (You Forgot To) Remember - Irving Berlin
• (I'll See You In) C u b a - Irving Berlin
• (I Wonder Why) You're Just In Love - Irving Berlin
• Mandy - Irving Berlin
• Some Sunny Day - Irving Berlin
• The Circus Is Coming To Town - Irving Berlin
• A Pretty Girl Is Like A Melody - Irving Berlin
• Everything Is Rosy Now For Rosie - Irving Berlin
• When I Lost You - Irving Berlin
• What'll I Do ? - Irving Berlin
• What Chance Have I With Love? - Irving Berlin
• Two Cheers Instead Of Three - Irving Berlin
• Top Hat, White Tie, & Tails - Irving Berlin
• This Year's Kisses - Irving Berlin
• They Say Its Wonderful - Irving Berlin
• Let's Face The Music & Dance - Irving Berlin
• You're Lonely and I'm Lonely - Irving Berlin
• Who Do You Love I Hope - Irving Berlin
• You're Laughing At Me - Irving Berlin
• You're Easy To Dance With - Irving Berlin
• You Keep Coming Back Like A Song - Irving Berlin
• You Can Have Him - Irving Berlin
• The Song Is Ended - Irving Berlin
• The Girl That I Marry - Irving Berlin
• Suppertime - Irving Berlin
• Steppin' Out With My Baby - Irving Berlin
• My Defenses Are Down - Irving Berlin
• Manhattan Madness - Irving Berlin
• Lets Take An Old Fashioned Walk - Irving Berlin
• Let's Have Another Cup O' Coffee - Irving Berlin
• Isn't This A Lovely Day - Irving Berlin
• I'm Putting All My Eggs In One Basket - Irving Berlin
• I'm An Indian Too - Irving Berlin
• How Deep Is The Ocean - Irving Berlin
• I Used To Be Color Blind - Irving Berlin
• I Love A Piano - Irving Berlin
• I Got The Sun In The Morning - Irving Berlin
• I Got Lost In His Arms - Irving Berlin
• Colonel Buffalo Bill - Irving Berlin
• Cheek To Cheek - Irving Berlin
• Change Partners - Irving Berlin
• Be Careful, It's My Heart - Irving Berlin
• Anything You Can Do - Irving Berlin
• Say It Isn't So - Irving Berlin
• Russian Lullaby - Irving Berlin
• Reaching For The Moon - Irving Berlin
• Puttin' On The Ritz - Irving Berlin
• Outside Of That, I Love You - Irving Berlin
• You Can't Get A Man With A Gun - Irving Berlin
• Old Fashioned Wedding - Irving Berlin
• You Can't Brush Me Off - Irving Berlin
• White Christmas - Irving Berlin
• This Is The Army, Mister Jones - Irving Berlin
• There's No Business Like Show Business - Irving Berlin
• The Hostess With The Mostes' On The Ball - Irving Berlin
• Oh How That German Could Love - Irving Berlin
• Oh, How I Hate To Get Up In The Morning - Irving Berlin
• Moonshine Lullaby - Irving Berlin
• Maybe Its Because - Irving Berlin
• Louisiana Purchase - Irving Berlin
• Let Yourself Go - Irving Berlin
• It's a Lovely Day Tomorrow - Irving Berlin
• It's A Lovely Day Today - Irving Berlin
• If You Believe - Irving Berlin
• Ive Got My Love To Keep Me Warm - Irving Berlin
• I'm A Bad, Bad Man - Irving Berlin
• I'll Share It All With You - Irving Berlin
• I Never Had A Chance - Irving Berlin
• I Don't Wanna Be Married, I Just Wanna Be Friends - Irving Berlin
• How About Me? - Irving Berlin
• Get Thee Behind Me, Satan - Irving Berlin
• Doin' What Comes Natur'lly - Irving Berlin
• Crinoline Days - Irving Berlin
• Alexander's Ragtime Band - Irving Berlin

[Verse:]
I'd like to form a League of Nations
Without any obligations
Composed of girls, and each a beautiful one
'Twould be a very novel treaty
Represented by a sweetie
From each and ev'ry country under the sun
Don't think I'm asking for your kind applause
But I think a Yankee girl should be its president
Because
[Refrain:]
Her eyes are a little bit brighter
Her teeth are a little bit whiter
She's just a bit more lively
Which makes her more attractive
The rest are not as active
At a party or ball
Her smile is a little bit sweeter
Her style is a little bit neater
And from her toes up to her knees
The ankle gazer sees
She's
Got the Leg of Nations
My girl of the U.S.A.

[Verse:]
The world goes 'round to the sound of a love song
A melody for you and me
In ev'ry heart there's a part of a love song
'Twas ever so, 'twill ever be
[Refrain:]
Learn to sing a love song
And you'll remain forever young
Learn it in the springtime
When ev'ry song of love is sung
Time will fly
And bye and bye
When dreary winter comes along
You can sit by your fireside
Humming an old love song

[1st verse:]
There was I satisfied to live and die
In a little world where life was all arranged
There were you in a world I never knew
Suddenly we met and ev'rything was changed
[Refrain:]
All my life, I did without you
But now I can't do without you
All my life I never missed you
Until I kissed you
I never missed you
All through life I went
And thought that I was meant
To live and be content
Without you
Then I put my arms about you
And now I can't do without you
[2nd verse:]
There was I gazing at a cloudy sky
Thinking that the clouds were all there was to see
There were you pointing to a sky of blue
Showing me how bright a day could really be

[Verse:]
Mother dear, I've just finished mess
And I'm here in the Y.M.C.A.
How I've missed your tender caress
Since the day when I marched away
But don't worry, dear, I'm contented here
What is more I'm feeling fine
Ev'rything's all right, dear, and ev'ry night
I will drop you a line
[Refrain:]
You can picture me ev'ry ev'ning
At the close of the day
Writing a little letter
In the Y.M.C.A.
Don't you worry, mother darling
For while the skies are gray
I can always find a little sunshine in the Y.M.C.A.

[1st verse:]
We know you love your land of liberty
We know you love your U.S.A.
But if you want the world to know it
Now's the time to show it
Your Uncle Sammy needs you one and all
Answer to his call
[Refrain:]
For your country and my country
With millions of real fighting men
It's your duty and my duty
To speak with the sword, not a pen
If Washington were living today
With sword in hand he'd stand up and say
For your country and my country
I'll do it all over again
[2nd verse:]
America has opened up her heart
To ev'ry nationality
And now she asks of ev'ry nation
Their appreciation
It makes no diff'rence now from where you came
We are all the same

For the very first time, I find for the first time
I'm head over heels in love
For the very first time, I know that the last time
Was ev'rything else but love
For the very first time, there won't be a next time
My romancing days are all through
All my love affairing was simply preparing
To love, for the first time, you

Put on your slumming clothes and get your car
Let's go sightseeing where the high-toned people are
Come on, there's lots of fun in store for you
See how the other half lives on park avenue
Let's go slumming, take me slumming
Let's go slumming on park avenue
Let us hide behind a pair of fancy glasses
And make faces when a member of the classes passes
Let's go smelling where they're dwelling
Sniffing ev'rything the way they do
Let us go to it, they do it
Why can't we do it too?
Let's go slumming, nose thumbing, on park avenue
[2nd chorus:]
Let's go slumming, take me slumming
Let's go slumming on park avenue
Where the social hearts for broadway lights are throbbing
And they spend their nights in smart cafes hobknobbing, snobbing
Come let's eye them, pass right by them
Looking down our noses as they do
Let us go to it, they do it
Why can't we do it too?

Sisters, sisters
There were never such devoted sisters,
Never had to have a chaperone, no sir,
I'm there to keep my eye on her
Caring, sharing
Every little thing that we are wearing
When a certain gentleman arrived from rome
She wore the dress, and I stayed home
All kinds of weather, we stick together
The same in the rain and sun
Two different faces, but in tight places
We think and we act as one
Those who've seen us
Know that not a thing could come between us
Many men have tried to split us up, but no one can
Lord help the mister who comes between me and my sister

One little kiss, a moment of bliss, then hours of deep regret
One little smile, and after a while, a longing to forget
One little heartache left as a token
One little plaything carelessly broken
Remember the night
The night you said, "i love you"
Remember?
Remember you vowed
By all the stars above you
Remember?
Remember we found a lonely spot
And after I learned to care a lot
You promised that you'd forget me not
But you forgot
To remember
Into my dreams you wandered it seems, and then there came a day
You loved me too, my dreams had come true, and all the world was
But soon the maytime turned to december

[1st verse:]
Ev'ry time
I see a puppy upon a summer's day
A puppy dog at play
My heart is filled with envy
That's because
My heart is yearning to pass the time away
Like that pup
'cause I'm all fed up
And tho' it's wrong to be
I long to be
[chorus:]
Lazy
I want to be lazy
I want to be out in the sun
With no work to be done
Under that awning
They call the sky
Stretching and yawning
And let the world go drifting by
I want to peep
Through the deep
Tangled wildwood
Counting sheep
'til I sleep
Like a child would
With a great big valise full
Of books to read where it's peaceful
While i'm
Killing time
Being lazy
[2nd verse:]
Life is short
And getting shorter with each day that goes by
And how the time does fly
Before you know, it's over
That's why i'm
In such a hurry to pack my things and fly
To a spot
Where it's nice and hot
And hear the birdies sing

I love you, I love you, there is no other way,
Just one way to say, I love you.
I love you, I love you, and try as I may,
That's all I can say, I love you.
Much more could be said if I thought with my head,
But I only can think with my heart.
I love you, I love you, and yearn for the day,
The day when you'll say, I love you.

Much more could be said if I thought with my head,
But I only can think with my heart.
I love you, I love you, and yearn for the day,

While the storm clouds gather far across the sea,
Let us swear allegiance to a land that's free.
Let us all be grateful for a land so fair,
As we raise our voices in a solemn prayer:
God bless america, land that I love,
Stand beside her and guide her
Through the night with a light from above.
From the mountains, to the prairies,
To the oceans white with foam,
God bless america,
My home sweet home.

[Verse:]
I've looked 'round for a lucky charm of the popular kind
That would keep me away from harm, they're not easy to find
Four leaf clover and rabbit's feet lucky as they may be
May help others, but I repeat, they have never helped me
[Refrain:]
The rabbit's foot that I found one day
Was on a rabbit that ran away
Ooh, ooh, what'll I do?
How can I change my luck?
The four leaf clover I stooped to pick
Was poison ivy and made me sick
Ooh, ooh, what'll I do?
How can I change my luck?
I hung a horseshoe right over my bed
Down came the horseshoe on top of my head
The lucky star that I long to see
Is shining somewhere, but not for me
Ooh, ooh, what'll I do?

{this intro is not used in the ella version; it's included here for completeness}
Intro:
Everything went wrong,
And the whole day long
I'd feel so blue.
For the longest while
I'd forget to smile,
Then I met you.
Now that my blue days have passed,
Now that I've found you at last -
{end intro}
I'll be loving you always
With a love that's true always.
When the things you've planned
Need a helping hand,
I will understand always.
Always.
Days may not be fair always,
That's when I'll be there always.
Not for just an hour,
Not for just a day,
Not for just a year,
But always.
I'll be loving you, oh always
With a love that's true always.
When the things you've planned
Need a helping hand,
I will understand always.
Always.
Days may not be fair always,
That's when I'll be there always.
Not for just an hour,
Not for just a day,
Not for just a year,
But always.
Not for just an hour,
Not for just a day,
Not for just a year,

I'm just a fella, a fella with an umbrella,
Looking for a girl who saved her love for a rainy day.
I'm just a fella, a fella with an umbrella,
Glad to see the skies of blue have turned into skies of gray.
Raindrops have brought us together,
And that's what I long to see.
Maybe the break in the weather will prove to be a break for me.
So I'll be the fella, that fella with an umbrella,
If you'll be the girl who saved her love for a rainy day.

Oh, the raindrops have brought us together,
And that's what I long to see.
Maybe the break in the weather will prove to be a big break for me.
So I'll be the fella, the kid with the small umbrella,
If you'll be the girl who saved her love for a rainy day.

All the world's great lovers have been glorified
History placed them in a romantic set
In between book covers they are side by side
But the real thing hasn't been written yet
Now it can be told
Told in all it's glory
Now that we have met
The world may know the sentimental story
The greatest romance they ever knew
Is waiting to
Unfold
Now it can be told
As an inspiration
Every other tale
Of boy meets girl is just an imitation
The great love story
Has never been told before
But now

When I want to see the boys
I know where to find the boys
I don't go through a club or two
I just find you and there are the boys
To get you alone I strive
You ask me to tea at five
I find you then with other men
And wonder when my chance will arrive
How's chances, say, how are the chances
Of making you love me the way I love you
How many young men must I fight with
To be in right with
In right with you
How's chances for one of those glances
A glimpse of the heaven I'm longing to see
How's chances to end all your romances
And start taking your chances with me
[alternate bridge:]
My castle will need some restoring
Ceiling and flooring

We're having a heat wave,
A tropical heat wave,
The temperature's rising,
It isn't surprising,
She certainly can can-can.
She started a heat wave
By letting her seat wave
In such a way that
The customers say that
She certainly can can-can.
Gee, her anatomy
Makes the mercury
Jump to ninety-three.
We're having a heat wave,
A tropical heat wave,
The way that she moves
That thermometer proves

In your easter bonnet, with all the frills upon it,
You'll be the grandest lady in the easter parade.
I'll be all in clover and when they look you over,
I'll be the proudest fellow in the easter parade.
On the avenue, fifth avenue, the photographers will snap us,
And you'll find that you're in the rotogravure.
Oh, I could write a sonnet about your easter bonnet,

I was blue, just as blue as I could be
Ev'ry day was a cloudy day for me
Then good luck came a-knocking at my door
Skies were gray but they're not gray anymore
Blue skies
Smiling at me
Nothing but blue skies
Do I see
Bluebirds
Singing a song
Nothing but bluebirds
All day long
Never saw the sun shining so bright
Never saw things going so right
Noticing the days hurrying by
When you're in love, my how they fly
Blue days
All of them gone
Nothing but blue skies
From now on
I should care if the wind blows east or west
I should fret if the worst looks like the best
I should mind if they say it can't be true

[Verse:]
I met you, I remember
But try as I may
I can't seem to remember the time or the day
I met you, I remember
That's all I can say
Was it August or September or April or May?
[Refrain:]
I can't remember the first time we met
Was it cloudy or beautiful?
I can't remember the first words I spoke
Did I say you were beautiful?
Was it Sunday? Was it Monday?
Were you dressed in gray or blue?
I can't remember
For all I remember is you

[Verse:]
I'm so happy today
Things are coming my way
There's a wonderful reason
Why I'm feeling so gay
Now you never will guess
So I'd better confess
Why I'm so happy
My Melinda said 'Yes'
[Refrain:]
Ding dong, ding dong
Hear those joy bells ring?
Ting-a-ling-a-ling
My little 'Lindy whispered in my ear
'Set the date, honey, don't you wait'
And ever since all I can hear is
Ding dong, ding dong
Listen to those joy bells chime
I've had my fortune read
And here's what the gypsy said
'You're gwine to be happy for a long, long time'

[Verse:]
Metropolitan nights bring me memories dear
Voices clear keep ringing in my ear
Metropolitan girls with their sweet musical themes
Haunt my dreams and ev'ry night it seems
[Refrain:]
I see a horseshoe set with diamonds
A diamond horseshoe set with girls
And ev'ry lovely maiden I see
Is calling to me with a sweet melody
I hear them saying it with music
Until each tragic tale unfurls
And my heart is laden with love for each maiden
In my diamond horseshoe of girls

If you're burdened down with trouble
If your nerves are wearing thin
Park your load down the road
And come to Holiday Inn
If the traffic noise affects you
Like a squeaky violin
Kick your cares down the stairs
And come to Holiday Inn
If you can't find someone who
Would set your heart a-whirl
Take your car and motor to
The home of boy meets girl
If you're laid-up with a breakdown
Throw away your vitamin
Don't get worse, grab your nurse
And come to Holiday Inn

[Verse:]
Someone was always in my dreams
That someone was always you
I never thought we'd meet someday
But now that my dream came true
[Refrain:]
I just want the right to love you
All of my life
Just the right to take care of you
All of my life
I just want the right to be near you
Always to be there
Sharing ev'ry care and strife
Life can be as simple as a nursery rhyme
Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, all of the time
Long as I may live
I just want the right to give
All my love with all my heart for all of my life

I'm so unhappy
What'll I do?
I long for somebody who
Will sympathize with me
I'm growing so tired of living alone
I lie awake all night and cry
Nobody loves me
That's why
All by myself in the morning
All by myself in the night
I sit alone with a table and a chair
So unhappy there
Playing solitaire
All by myself I get lonely
Watching the clock on the shelf
I'd love to rest my weary head on somebody's shoulder
I hate to grow older

All alone, I'm so all alone
There is no one else but you
All alone by the telephone
Waiting for a ring, a ting-a-ling
I'm all alone every evening
All alone, feeling blue
Wond'ring where you are and how you are
And if you are all alone too

I wonder where you are (remember me) and how you are (remember me)
And if you are (I love you) all alone (I love you) too

[Verse:]
What does a flyer think of when he's up there in the sky?
Ask any Army pilot and he'll answer with a sigh
[Refrain:]
While I'm there in the air
With my head in the clouds
I think of someone I love
And I know down below
She is thinking of me
When I am up there above
When the night is clear
And the bombardier
Drops a bomb that's wired for sound
How I yearn to return
With my head in the clouds
To the one I love on the ground

When I'm worried and I can't sleep
I count my blessings instead of sheep
And I fall asleep
Counting my blessings
When my bankroll is getting small
I think of when I had none at all
And I fall asleep
Counting my blessings
I think about a nursery and I picture curly heads
And one by one I count them as they slumber in their beds
If you're worried and you can't sleep
Just count your blessings instead of sheep
And you'll fall asleep
Counting your blessings

[1st verse:]
Just a sweet coquette, so they say and yet
I know how true you can be
Just a butterfly, so they say but I
Know just how much you love me
[Refrain:]
The others you've met may call you Coquette
But I'll always call you 'sweetheart'
They think of Coquette as something to pet
But I think of you as 'sweetheart'
They say you're a devil with wonderful charms
But I held an angel that night in my arms
So try and forget the name of Coquette
And only remember 'sweetheart'
[2nd verse:]
Now that I love you, and you love me too
I'll keep you close to my heart
Now that I can see you belong to me
Nothing can keep us apart

I wake up every morning with a smile on my face
Everything in its place as it should be
I start out every morning just as free as the breeze
My cares upon the shelf
Because I find myself with
No strings and no connections
No ties to my affections
I'm fancy free and free for anything fancy
No dates that can't be broken
No words that can't be spoken
Especially when I am feeling romancy
Like a robin upon a tree
Like a sailor that goes to sea
Like an unwritten melody
I'm free, that's me
Bring on the big attraction
My decks are cleared for action
I'm fancy free and free for anything fancy

[Verse:]
Come on and hear the yam man cry,
'Any yam today?'
The sweet potatoes that he'll fry
Will be yam today
The little step that you'll see him do
With ev'ry yam that he sells to you
Is something that you ought to try
Come and Yam today
[Refrain:]
Come get what I've got
It will hit the spot
Get your sweet and hot
Raise your hand and sway
Like you hold a tray
When you're on your way
Come on, shake your depression
And let's have a yam session
There's that long note
One, two, three
Ev'ry orchestra
In America
Will be doing the
[Patter:]
I didn't come to do the Charleston
I didn't come to Ball the Jack
I didn't come to do
The Suzy Q
Or do the Bottom they call Black
I didn't come to do Big Apple
I didn't come to do the Shag
But, honey, here I am
To do the Yam
Because the Yam is in the bag

I wake up every morning with a smile on my face
Everything in it's place as it should be
I start out every morning just as free as the breeze
My cares upon the shelf
Because I find myself with
No strings and no connections
No ties to my affections
I'm fancy free and free for anything fancy
No dates that can't be broken
No words that can't be spoken
Especially when I am feeling romancy
Like a robin upon a tree
Like a sailor that goes to sea
Like an unwritten melody
I'm free, that's me
Bring on the big attraction
My decks are cleared for action

My thoughts go back to a heavenly dance
A moment of bliss we spent
Our hearts were filled with a song of romance
As into the night we went
And sang to our hearts' content
The song is ended
But the melody lingers on
You and the song are gone
But the melody lingers on
The night was splendid
And the melody seemed to say
"Summer will pass away
Take your happiness while you may"
There 'neath the light of the moon
We sang a love song that ended too soon
The moon descended
And I found with the break of dawn
You and the song had gone
But the melody lingers on

[1st verse:]
I hate to brag about my fam'ly but I must say that
My father is the greatest man who ever wore a hat
He always took things easy in an easy sort of way
And when it came to taking things, just kindly let me say
[1st refrain:]
No one could do it like my father!
Ever clever, stunning, cunning father!
Other men might do the same
But when it came to make a name
No one could do it like my dad!
[2nd verse:]
At keeping servant girls, my father always was an ace!
He had a certain way to keep the ladies in their place
Their place was in the kitchen and his place to keep them there
I don't know how he did it but I really must declare
[2nd refrain:]
No one could do it like my father
Ever clever, stunning, cunning father
Servants liked the cops, of course
So father joined the police force
No one could do it like my dad
[3rd verse:]
One night papa went in to see that great Salome dance
You talk about attention, say! he gave her ev'ry glance
He has my mother dancing now, her brain is in a whirl
And only here last week he came home with a string of pearls
[3rd refrain:]
No one could do it like my father
Ever clever, stunning, cunning father
Now he always stays at home
Mama has learned that dance Salome
No one could do it like my dad
[4th verse:]
My mother weighs three hundred pounds but don't give it away
She bought a brand new sheath gown and she wore it yesterday
My father showed his dignity when mother showed her sock
Then just to make the two ends meet he used a big padlock
[4th refrain:]
No one could do it like my father
Ever clever, stunning, cunning father
Neighbor Jones and his neighbor Lee
Are hunting for my father's key
And no one could do it like my dad
[5th verse:]
I haven't told you how my father and my mother wed
She was an old maid, he a burglar underneath her bed
She flashed a gun at father and said, 'I must be your wife'
My father wears a medal now for saving someone's life
[5th refrain:]
No one could do it like my father
Ever clever, stunning, cunning father
Mother thinks a lot of pa
But father drinks to think of ma
And no one could do it like my dad
[6th verse:]
The other night when pa came home, he found to his surprise
The iceman and my mother on the sofa making eyes
He did not get excited, no! not one word did he say
But when the iceman's bill came due, papa refused to pay
[6th refrain:]
No one could do it like my father
Ever clever, stunning, cunning father
Father proved he was no slouch
He fooled them all when he sold the couch
And no one could do it like my dad
[7th verse:]
When father went to school they tell me he was very bad
They also say he had a purpose to make teacher mad
She'd make him stay in after school and pa would ne'er refuse
For when it came to helping teacher tie her dainty shoes:
[7th refrain:]
No one could do it like my father
Ever clever, stunning, cunning father
Teacher knew a thing or two
She always wore a low cut shoe
No one could do it like my dad
[8th verse:]
We lived right by a railway station not so far from here
And father would make faces at the passing engineers
They'd all throw coal at father, yes they would upon my soul
And when the winter came around we never needed coal
[8th refrain:]
No one could do it like my father
Ever clever, stunning, cunning father
First he got coal one by one
And now he sells it by the ton
And no one could do it like my dad
[9th verse:]
Around election time my father never knows his name
Sometimes it's Breen, or Smith, or Green, Gilhouley or McShane
Then other times it's Harrigan, O'Connor, or O'Dell
They ought to call him 'Winchester' 'cause he repeats so well
[9th refrain:]
No one could do it like my father
Ever clever, stunning, cunning father
When you see him change his coat
You know that means another vote
And no one could do it like my dad

We'll follow the old man wherever he wants to go
Long as he wants to go opposite to the foe
We'll stay with the old man wherever he wants to stay
Long as he stays away from the battle's fray
Because we love him, we love him
Especially when he keeps us on the ball
And we'll tell the kiddies we answered duty's call
With the grandest son of a soldier of them all

[Verse:]
Listen to the ocarina play
Listen, don't you seem to hear it say
[Refrain:]
Dance to the music of the ocarina
Ocarina, ocarina
Gretchen and Otto, Hans and Wilhelmina
Dance to the ocarina dance
Dance to the music of the sweet potata
Sweet potata, sweet potata
Cheeks gettin' redder than a ripe tomata
Dance to the ocarina dance
Listen and hear the notes escaping
Out of that tiny hole
Doesn't it please your soul?
Doesn't it say, 'Dance the polka'?
Step to the music of the ocarina
Who refuses? Wilhelmina?
Wait till she listens to the ocarina
I know that Wilhelmina will

(Goetz, Berlin and Snyder)
[1st verse:]
Starlight a-twinkling, mandolin tinkling sweet serenade
'Mid convent bells, of love sweetly tells a Mexican maid
Longing to go to, longing to know true love's parade
As he sings to eyes that dim fairest golden skies
[Refrain:]
Sombrero Land
Fair tropic strand
Beside the Rio Grande
With love my heart command
Eyes understand
What hearts demand
Come, we'll delight some, quite some
Bright Sombrero Land
[2nd verse:]
Silently hiding, silently sliding down to his arms
Two lips caress, with kisses impress her heart in their charms
Thro' gardens groping, they go eloping, silently flee
As once more to her, he tenderly hums his plea

[Verse:]
I can't resist the moan of a cello
I can't resist the light of the moon
So place me in a light that is mellow
And let me hear a beautiful tune
The music must flow
The lights must be low
[Refrain:]
Soft lights and sweet music
And you in my arms
Soft lights and sweet melody
Will bring you closer to me
Chopin and pale moonlight
Reveal all your charms
So give me velvet lights and sweet music
And you in my arms
[Alternate line:]

[Verse:]
I met you and ever since
You've been on my mind
I'm getting nowhere and it's not my fault
You seem to take me with a grain of salt
You're not easy to convince
You're the doubting kind
Why don't you believe
Nothing's up my sleeve?
[Refrain:]
Oo, I'm head and heels in love with you, so help me!
Oo, I'm gonna stick to you like glue, so help me!
Though you never told me where I stand
You're a part of ev'rything I've planned
Oo, I'm gonna make your dreams come true, so help me!
Oo, I'm gonna make you love me, too
But darling, maybe I've bitten off much more than I can chew
And I may need a lot of help
So help me!

-singer 1-
Won't you play some simple melody?
Like my mother sang to me.
One with a good old fashioned harmony.
Play some simple melody.
-singer 2-
Musical demons set my honey a-screeming.
Won't you play me some rag?
Just change that classical nag .
To some sweet musical drag.
Won't you play from a copy, of a tune that is choppy.
You'll get all my applause, simply because.

Pigtails and freckles, braces on your teeth
Who would have thought you would turn out so beautiful?
Awkward and bashful, scared right from the start
Who would have thought you would turn out so smart?
Changes, many changes, since I first looked at you,
Funny, very funny, what a few years can do
Pigtails and freckles, braces on your teeth
Who would have thought they'd become so sublime?
I would have thought, for I thought so all the time

[1st verse:]
Beneath a sky of gray
The lovers stroll along
The flow'rs have died away
The birds have hush'd their song
There's a teardrop in her eye
For he's come to say good-bye
He whispers 'Dearie, don't you cry
For I won't be long'
[Chorus:]
When the new moon is shining
I'm coming back to you
Clouds have a silvery lining
Soon the silver will be peeping thru
Angel hands will be mending
A broken romance soon
They will bless us with a happy ending
'Neath the bright new moon
[2nd verse:]
The clouds will roll away
And then we'll meet again
A happy wedding day
Will dawn upon us then
Little sweetheart, don't you pine
Soon you'll see the new moon shine
A little patience, girl of mine
Till we meet again

[Verse:]
Some folks who don't know what to do with their evenings
Up till dawn with their dress clothes on they will roam
Dancing 'round in a Cabaret
Homeward bound at the break of day
I have found that it doesn't pay
So I'd rather stay at home
[Refrain:]
With my little book of poetry
Let me while the hours away
Reading the poets of olden times
Meeting the girls they dressed up in rhymes
I will never ask for company
When the skies of blue turn to gray
Mister Kipling and Poe are the best friends I know
At the end of a weary day

[Verse:]
A gentle voice is calling me
I hear it night and day
It seems to whisper tenderly
You should be on your way
I'm going back without a doubt
To where my heart belongs
The land that Jolson sings about
In all his 'Mammy' songs
[Refrain:]
Southland
All night long your banjos ring in my ear
And I can hear the call of the Southland
Cornfields
Seem to say it's just the time of the year
Come on and hear the call of the South
I'll be so happy when I open the gate
To see my sweetie there who promised to wait
And then when I deliver
The kiss I'm gonna give 'er
Trouble will drown way down in the Swanee River
Southland
I must go back to somebody I've missed
I can't resist the call of the South

[Verse:]
Never saw such perfect beauty before
Never saw such charming manners what's more
Never saw such eyes of heavenly blue
Never saw what I see looking at you
[Refrain:]
I could never weary
Looking at you, looking at you
All thro' life, my dearie
Looking at you, looking at you
Wish that I was able
To make you say, 'I do'
And sit across the breakfast table
Looking at you, looking at you

[1st verse:]
Listen, honey dear
I've been feeling queer
I don't know what to do
Since I fell in love with you
It's true
I'm feeling so lonesome and blue too
I'll go crazy soon
Morning, night and noon
I'm just going around
With my eyes upon the ground
And now, my honey I've found
[Refrain:]
You've got me hypnotized
I'm certainly mesmerized
I thought I was wise
Till I gazed in your beautiful eyes
That very day
You stole my heart away
I'm doing things I shouldn't do
Things I wouldn't do
Things I couldn't do
I could do for you
Just because you've got me hypnotized
[2nd verse:]
Honey, just for you
If you asked me to
Like a baby I'd crawl
Ev'ry time I hear you call
I'm all
Wrapped up in a heavenly shawl, all
That I do is fret
Till my eyes are wet
If my love disappears
I would sit and cry for years
And weep an ocean of tears

[Verse:]
Great big houses with great big rooms
Were not fashioned for brides and grooms
A little place is where we should be
Great big troubles and great big cares
Come from houses with marble stairs
A little place for you and for me
[Refrain:]
Just a little room or two can more than do a little man and wife
That's if they're contented with the little things in life
Living on a larger scale would soon entail a lot of care and strife
We could be so happy with the little things in life
A little rain, a little sun, a little work, a little fun
A little time for loving when the day is done
And a little thing that cries for lullabies could make a man and wife
Tell the world how much they love the little things in life

[Verse:]
Now that we're married, we'll get along I know
We'll get along whatever may come or go
One thing we have in common will see us through
I have an ear for music and so have you
[1st refrain:]
We'll settle down with music
Somewhere in town with music
Some hurdy-gurdy will fill the street with Verdi
And Mister Strauss will fill our house with music
We'll greet the night with music
Turn down the light with music
While night is falling we'll hear the crickets calling
And you and I will hush-a-bye with music
[2nd refrain:]
We'll stay indoors with music
And I'll be yours with music
Brahms will inspire me to be as you desire me
And Mister Liszt will see you're kissed with music
We'll greet the stork with music
Then pop a cork with music
Bach and Beethoven, they'll both be interwoven
With things I knit to fit for it with music

[1st verse:]
Dearest, the day that I gazed in your eyes
That was the day that Cupid came
Some joyous feeling makes me realize
My heart is wrapped up in a flame
And you're piling coal of love, honey mine
On my burning heart all the time
Worried, unhappy I'm going about
Fearing you'll put this fire out
[Refrain:]
You've built a fire down in my heart
Dearest, it's burning higher than any house on fire
Just like a live, live wire, right from the start
Oh, my pretty heart's desire, you have built a fire
Down in my heart
[2nd verse:]
Dearest, I promise this fire will burn
Burn on until the end of time
All that I ask of you dear in return
Is lots of fuel, honey mine
And if e'er a spark of love should depart
From this fire down in my heart
Honey, I hope the spark travels to you
And sets your heart on fire too

You love me and I don't doubt it
But you don't have to shout it
Whisper it, whisper it in my ear
I just love to hear you tell it
But you don't have to yell it
Whisper it, whisper it in my ear
Pin that Medal
Of Merit on my chest
But please soft pedal
The talking bit
That goes with it
You can shout from all the housetops, but I won't hear
Unless you whisper it, baby, whisper it in my ear

You're fun to be with, the one to be with
When gray clouds dim the skies
When stocks are falling and brokers calling
You make my spirits rise
When gloom makes up its mind to crawl down from his shelf
You smile and soon I find I'm laughing at myself
I miss your laughter on mornings after
When my head weighs a ton
You're beautiful, you're glamorous
You're lovable, you're amorous
But most of all you're fun

[Verse:]
You know the big percentage in roulette
And that is why you never place a bet
You've talked to sev'ral horses that have won
And once or twice you knew who'd win before the race was run
You know what's coming when the cards are cut
You're on to each and ev'ry racket, but
[1st refrain:]
You're a sucker for a dame
The pucker of a dame will make you jump
Just like a chump
When you gaze into her eyes
The springs that make you wise refuse to work
And you're a jerk
I've seen you playing poker with three aces
A hand of which you're very, very fond
You knew that your opponent had three deuces
But it happened your opponent was a blonde
So you just threw your cards away
And thought about the day when you became
A sucker for a dame
[2nd refrain:]
You're a softy for a dame
You're lofty till a dame sets out her traps
Then you collapse
You can hold your own with guys
But when a lady's eyes begin to pop
You blow your top
You're selling real estate that's under water
The deal is set, you're riding on a crest
The customer comes in to sign the papers
In a sweater and a shelf upon her chest
So you just tore your papers up
And took her out to sup, then you became
A sucker for a dame
A sucker for a dame

[1st refrain:]
[Mary:]
You're a sentimental guy
It's a charge that you'll deny
But a song of Home and Mother
In a pinch could make you cry
And it seems my nat'ral bent
Is to love a sentimental guy
You can always knock them dead
With some clever thing you've said
But your heart is not in tune with
What is running through your head
And I'm perfectly content
Just to love a sentimental guy
You think your the type for Broadway
You prowl it from night till dawn
You really belong in Yonkers
With a garden and a lawn
Tho' I never heard you say
In the ordinary way
That you're simply wild about me
Still I know there'll come a day
When my evenings will be spent
With a very sentimental guy
[2nd refrain:]
[Wilson:]
You're as wrong as you can be
In your estimate of me
When the rent for my apartment
Is delayed a month or three
If some tears will save the rent
I'm a very sentimental guy
When I'm speaking soft and low
To a copper that I know
Who is taking in a pal
And I would like him to let go
If a sob will get consent
I'm a very sentimental guy
I melt with the breath of springtime
When grass starts to green the lawn
I get very sentimental
As I take my coat to pawn
[Mary:]
So you think and so you say
In your clever sort of way
But I know it won't be long before
There'll come that happy day
When my evenings will be spent
With a very sentimental guy

[1st verse:]
Johnny was bashful and shy
Nobody understood why
Mary loved him
All the other girls passed him by
Everyone wanted to know
How she could pick such a beau
With a twinkle in her eye
She made this reply
[1st refrain:]
He's not so good in a crowd but when you get him alone
You'd be surprised
He isn't much at a dance but then when he takes you home
You'd be surprised
He doesn't look like much of a lover
But don't judge a book by it's cover
He's got the face of an angel
But there's a devil in his eyes
He's such a delicate thing but when he starts in to squeeze
You'd be surprised
He doesn't look very strong but when you sit on his knees
You'd be surprised
At a party or at a ball
I've got to admit that he's nothing at all
But in an easy chair
You'd be surprised
[2nd verse:]
Mary continued to praise
Johnny's remarkable ways
To the ladies
And you know advertising pays
Now Johnny's never alone
He has the busiest phone
Almost ev'ry other day
A new girl will say
[2nd refrain:]
He's not so good in the house but on a bench in the park
You'd be surprised
He isn't much in the light but when he gets in the dark
You'd be surprised
I know he looks so slow and so weary
But you don't know the half of it, dearie
He looks as cold as an Eskimo
But there's a fire in his eyes
He doesn't say very much but when he starts in to speak
You'd be surprised
He's not so good at the start but at the end of the week
You'd be surprised
On a streetcar or on a train
You'd think he was born without any brain
But in a taxicab
You'd be surprised

[1st verse:]
Johnny was bashful and shy
Nobody understood why
Mary loved him
All the other girls passed him by
Ev'ryone wanted to know
How she could pick such a beau
With a twinkle in her eye
She made this reply
[1st refrain:]
He's not so good in a crowd but when you get him alone
You'd be surprised
He isn't much at a dance but then when he takes you home
You'd be surprised
He doesn't look like much of a lover
But don't judge a book by it's cover
He's got the face of an Angel
But there's a Devil in his eye
He's such a delicate thing but when he starts in to squeeze
You'd be surprised
He doesn't look very strong but when you sit on his knee
You'd be surprised
At a party or at a ball
I've got to admit that he's nothing at all
But in a morris chair
You'd be surprised
[2nd verse:]
Mary continued to praise
Johnny's remarkable ways
To the ladies
And you know advertising pays
Now Johnny's never alone
He has the busiest phone
Almost ev'ry other day
A new girl will say
[2nd refrain:]
He's not so good in the house but on a bench in the park
You'd be surprised
He isn't much in the light but when he gets in the dark
You'd be surprised
I know he looks as slow as the Erie
But you don't know the half of it, dearie
He looks as cold as an Eskimo
But there's fire in his eyes
He doesn't say very much but when he starts in to speak
You'd be surprised
He's not so good at the start but at the end of the week
You'd be surprised
On a streetcar or in a train
You'd think he was born without any brain
But in a taxicab
You'd be surprised

(Rennold Wolf & Irving Berlin)
[1st verse:]
'Tis a sad, sad day for me
This day of lemonade and tea
For now my dancing aspirations haven't got a chance
In the Harlem cabarets
I used to spend my nights and days
Partaking of my favorite indoor sport, the shimmy dance
On the day they introduced their prohibition laws
They just went and ruined the greatest shimmy dancer because
[1st refrain:]
You cannot make your shimmy shake on tea
It simply can't be done
You'll find your shaking ain't taking
Unless you has the proper jazz
That only comes with such drinks as
Green River, Haig and Haig, and Hennessey
Way out in China
Among the pale Chinese
There's nothing finer
Than good old China teas
But then you never saw a Chinaman
A-shaking his chemise
'Cause you cannot make your shimmy shake on tea
[2nd refrain:]
You cannot make your shimmy shake on tea
It simply can't be done
You'll find your shaking ain't taking
The shimmy, it is intricate
And so you needs a little bit
Of Scotch or rye to lubricate your knee
A cup of Ceylon
It may be strong or weak
Won't help you spoil on
Because it's much too meek
Besides, a drink that's soft
Will very often ruin your technique
No, you cannot make your shimmy shake on tea

[Verse:]
Locked in a cage I'm sad as I can be
Singing my song all the day long
It seems I can hear the forest calling me
How I keep longing just to be free
[Refrain:]
I'd love to leave my little red lacquer cage
And fly away out there where I
Could sing my beautiful song
In the forest where I belong
The little birds that live in a tree
Would love to hear my sweet melody
I hate to sing the song that God gave to me
In a little red lacquer cage

[1st verse:]
Ev'ryone was singing, dancing, springing
At a wedding yesterday
Yiddle on his fiddle played some ragtime
And when Sadie heard him play
She jumped up and looked him in the eyes
Yiddle swelled his chest 'way out
Ev'ryone was taken by surprise
When they heard Sadie shout
[Refrain:]
Yiddle in the middle of your fiddle, play some ragtime
Get busy
I'm dizzy
I'm feeling two years young
Mine choc'late baby, if you'll maybe play for Sadie
Some more ragtime
Yiddle, don't you stop, if you do, I'll drop
For I just can't make my eyes shut up
Yiddle on your fiddle, play some ragtime
[2nd verse:]
At the supper table Sadie thought
Yiddle must have flew the coop
She looked all around, but could not find him
'Till she heard him drinking soup
Sadie waited till they served the fish
Then she jumped upon the floor
Put a quarter right on Yiddle's dish
And yelled to him once more

[1st verse:]
Miss Minnie Rosenstein
Had such a voice so fine
Just like Tetrazzini
Any time that Minnie sang a song
You'd think of real estate seven blocks long
Some song!
Young Mister Abie Cohn used to call to her home
Just to hear her singing
Presents he was bringing
Full of bliss!
One night young Abie proposed to the Miss
Like this!
[Refrain:]
Yiddisha nightingale, sing me a song
Your voice has got such sweetness that it makes me strong
Yiddisha nightingale, sing me a song
I promise that I'll take you on a long honeymoon
I'd give a dollar to hear you, my queen
I wouldn't give a nickel to hear Tetrazzini
Just to hear your cultivated voice good and strong
I'd serve a year in jail
Yiddisha nightingale
Won't you sing me a song?
[2nd verse:]
Then said young Abie Cohn
'I'm going to buy a home
One that's made of marble
Dear, where you can warble harmony
And I don't care for expenses you see
That's me!
I'll go and learn to play on the piano, say
You'll sing while I'm playing
People will be saying
As they pass
Some class!'

[1st verse:]
Benny Bloom went to a swell affair
Given by a real millionaire
Jenny Golden Dollars was there
Now comes the bus'ness end
Benny, to a friend, said, 'Introduce me to Miss Jenny, do!'
Soon he whispered, 'Pleased to meet you too!'
Then young Benny winked at Jenny
With his Yiddisha eyes
[Refrain:]
Oi, Oi, Oi, those Yiddisha eyes!
Benny had those Yiddisha eyes
That shone so bright, with an Israel light
Eyes that could tell a diamond in the night
Oi, Oi, Oi, those Yiddisha eyes!
Benny had those Yiddisha eyes!
He took a look in her bankbook
With his Yiddisha eyes
[2nd verse:]
Ben looked at her finger with his eyes
Next day bought a ring the proper size
Jenny's bus'ness father got wise!
Now comes the finish part
Benny, from his heart, began to shout, 'I love your daughter fine!'
Jenny's pa cried, 'That's how I got mine!'
Benny, bending, saw the ending
With his Yiddisha eyes
[2nd refrain:]
Oi, Oi, Oi, those Yiddisha eyes!
Benny had those Yiddisha eyes
That shone so bright, with an Israel light
Eyes that could tell a diamond in the night
Oi, Oi, Oi, those Yiddisha eyes!
Benny had those Yiddisha eyes!
He said, 'Farewell,' the teardrops fell
From his Yiddisha eyes

[1st verse:]
Girlie, cuddle near me
Girlie, won't you hear me?
I've been feeling blue
Ring the final curtain
For I'm more than certain
I'm in love with you
Like my Yankee Father
Girlie, I would rather die than prove untrue
Fearless, undenying, Yankee never dying
Love I bear for you
[Refrain:]
Red, White and Blue, love
Real all for you, love
All through and through, love
Real Yankee Doodle Doo, love
Honest and true love
I bring to you, love
Old Kentucky, Alabama
Mississippi, Lou'siana
Yankee love
[2nd verse:]
Girlie, flags are waving
My poor heart's behaving
Like a house on fire
Church-bells gayly ringing
Mean I'll soon be bringing
Home my heart's desire
Thoughts of care or sorrow
Will be dead tomorrow when you wear my ring
Ere the morn arouses
From the tops of houses
To the world I'll sing

[1st verse:]
A great big tree grows near our house
It's been there quite some time
This tree's a slipp'ry elm tree and very hard to climb
But when my wife starts after me, up in that tree I roost
I go up like a healthy squirrel and never need no boost
The other day a woodman came to chop the refuge down
And carve it into kindling wood, to peddle 'round the town
I says to him, 'I pray thee cease, desist, refrain and stop
Lay down that razor, man, chop not a single chop'
[Refrain:]
Woodman, woodman, spare that tree
Touch not a single bough
For years it has protected me
And I'll protect it now
Chop down an oak, a birch or pine
But not this slipp'ry elm of mine
It's the only tree that my wife can't climb
So spare that tree
[2nd verse:]
I said to him, 'You see that hole
Up near that old treetop
I've got five dollars there, that's yours, if you refrain to chop
No beast but me can climb that tree, 'cause it's too slippery
I can't get up myself, unless my wife is after me
So get my wife and I'll call her a very naughty word
And then you'll see me give an imitation of a bird
You may not know just where to go, when my wife gets around
But when she comes, remember this, if I'm not on the ground'

[Verse:]
I could find the road to happiness with you close to me, dear
I could turn a failure to success if you always were near
I could make my dreams come true, but it will depend on you
[Refrain:]
With you, a sunny day, without you, clouds in the sky
With you, my luck will stay, without you, fortune will fly
With you, I'll never stop until I reach the top
Without you, I will never get by
With you, a happy song, without you, castles that fall
With you, I can't go wrong, without you, chances are small
With you, my banner's unfurled right there on top of the world
Without you, I'm just nothing at all

[1st verse:]
In the days of fairy tales, most any wish was granted
Granted by some fairy brave
Let's suppose a fairy rose in fairy clothes from head to toes
And granted us the wish we'd crave
Would you wish for diamonds, or would you wish for pearls
Would you wish to rule the land and sea
Would you wish a crown to rest upon your golden curls?
The maiden sweetly answered 'Not for me'
[Refrain:]
I'd wish for a night in June
A silv'ry moon real soon
A moon that makes you want to spoon
And softly croon love's tune
Then a tree that I could trust
A bench that holds just two
Then I'd wish for Cupid's loving dish
And then I'd wish for you
[2nd verse:]
Why should I profess to sigh for precious pearls and diamonds
When my ev'ry sigh means you?
All the gold the world may hold its wealth untold, I would unfold
To hold a place that just holds two
Hold a place that holds a face, that holds a case of bliss
And that case of bliss would hold you too
Such a place would make me trace upon your face a kiss
The fellow answered, 'Here's just what I'd do:

[1st verse:]
Talk of yo' looney coons
Talk of yo' spoony coons
Lover of coony tunes
Jackson was the leader of a big brass band
Understand
While at a ball one night
Miss Lucinda Morgan White
Yelled out with all her might
When he started playing some familiar tune
She just cried with delight
[1st refrain:]
If you love yo' babe, play that tune for me
Just because I feel so funny
Honey I don't care for money
I'm goin' crazy, that rag's a daisy
I just can't make my feeling behave
Play that tune again
Mighty soon again
Honey, don't you start to scold
I'm feeling like a two year old
When I hear that strain
Gwine to cry again
Play me some Wild Cherry Rag
[2nd verse:]
Talk of yo' wedding chimes
Talk of yo' champagne wines
Talk of yo' scand'lous times
Mister Jackson married Miss Lucinda White
Sunday night
Just as the knot was tied
Parson had blessed the bride
Jackson stood by her side
When the music played that lovin' weddin' march
Miss Lucinda just cried
[2nd refrain:]
If you love yo' babe, play that tune for me
No I'm not a blowin' hon but
I feel like goin' some
I'm goin' crazy that rag's a daisy
I just can't make my feeling behave
Play that tune again
Mighty soon again
Oh, you seven come eleven!
Hon I'm goin' straight to heav'n
When I hear that strain
Gwine to cry again
Play me some Wild Cherry Rag

[Verse:]
I'm not a McCormack, I haven't a voice
I loosen my vocals but never by choice
Still I've a song to sing
And I long to sing it for you
It isn't a ballad with plenty of heart
It hasn't the rhythm that's clever and smart
Just a tune with words that rhyme
That I wrote to say that I'm
[Refrain:]
Wild about you
The child about you
Makes me wild about you
If I were a native of Borneo
I couldn't be wilder about you
Mad about you
The bad about you
Makes me mad about you
If I were the Hatter in Wonderland
I couldn't be madder about you
That's my story
And I'll stick to it, dear
In case you didn't listen
In case you didn't hear
Wild about you
The child about you
Makes me wild about you
If I were a tiger in Africa
I couldn't be wilder about you

[1st verse:]
Butterfly, you're like a butterfly, baby vampire
Thro' the year, you're sipping honey here and there
Your love is like a blushing rose
It just comes and goes
Butterfly, you're just a butterfly,
With your string of helpless beaux
[Refrain:]
Whose little heart are you breaking now, little butterfly?
Who is the one that you're shaking now, little butterfly?
Who keeps on ringing
Your telephone, one-two-three-four?
Who keeps on singing
'What do you want to make those eyes at me for?'
Who sends you candy and flowers now, little butterfly?
Spending above what his folks allow
I wonder whose feelings you're hurting
When he catches you flirting
Whose little heart are you breaking now?
[2nd verse:]
Seems to me, you're like a bumblebee, baby vampire
Buzzing 'round, but never settling down, that's you!
Why don't you give up stinging hearts?
Don't you know it smarts?
Taking them and simply breaking them
In a thousand diff'rent parts?

[1st verse:]
I had a wonderful dream last night
I never saw such a lovely sight
I dreamt that the warring nations were at a ball
There wasn't anyone talking fight
They realized that it wasn't right
And this is just what I noticed in the hall
[Refrain:]
The King of England danced
With the President of France
The Crown Prince of Germany
Danced with the King of Hungary
They all laid down their swords
While the different Dukes and Lords
All shouted 'We don't want any more talk of war talk'
They started drinking to each other like brothers
They drank a toast to each other's flag
The Russian Czar said to the Kaiser
'Let's drink some Budweiser'
Then he shook his hand while a German band
Played an American rag
[2nd verse:]
The Russian Czar wet his lips with wine
And started whistling the 'Wacht am Rhein'
The Kaiser sang 'Tipperary' without a pause
They kept it up till the break of day
Then when they started to go away
The whole world rang out with gladness just because

[Verse:]
Most of the world seems to be
Listening to love's melody
Each has a love song divine
When will I listen to mine
[Refrain:]
Where is the song of songs for me
Beautiful song of ecstasy
When will I hear love's melody
When will I hear the words 'I love you'
Where is the one I long to see
Close to my heart in days to be
Singing the song of songs to me
Saying the words, the words 'I love you'?

[1st verse:]
One fine day on Broadway
Simple Sally Brown
Met a trav'ling salesman who was trav'ling around
'Howdy do, how are you?
Let's go see the town'
Sally answered, 'What a pity
I would like to but the city
Folks would talk, they would talk, you know that they can
But I'd like to know you better, Mister Trav'ling Man
[Refrain:]
When you're in town, in my home town
Look me up, look me up
I'll be happy to see you
When you're passing my way, drop in and stay
If you'll come, you're welcome as flowers in May
And you can hang your samples on a sour apple tree
And I'll see that no one's around
For I'd much rather walk where the neighbors don't talk
When in town call around, goodbye
[2nd verse:]
Sally Brown settled down
Wed her trav'ling man
He said, 'Dearie, I'll be home as much as I can'
Trav'ling men, now and then
Get a telegram
Their employer sends a wire
'Go and see a certain buyer'
Looking 'round, Sally found in her hubby's coat
Seven diff'rent notes that seven diff'rent females wrote

[1st verse:]
Goodbye, ev'rybody, I'm on my way to Louisville
I feel, oh, so happy I hardly can keep still
Although my home is very small, I invite you all
If you will come, you'll be welcome any time you call
[Refrain:]
Don't forget Don't forget
When you're down in Louisville Louisville, Louisville
Just call around, I'll be found in the town directory
I'll have the table set
No fancy dishes
But the things you get
Will all be delicious
And you're just as welcome as can be
When you get there, take a Jitney bus
Call on us
I'll have you see the family
If you're ever so lucky to be down in Kentucky
Don't forget to stop at Louie, Louie, Louisville
And call on me
[2nd verse:]
Listen, ev'rybody, we've got the fairest women there
Lovely dispositions and locks of golden hair
They've got complexions like the rose, ev'rybody knows
Nature made them, we parade them dressed in simple clothes

[1st verse:]
My honey, do you remember 'twas a December day
I said that you would repent the day that you went away
You turned as red as a ruby, much too good to be true
You thought I'd sit around lonely thinking of only you
Little you knew that
[Refrain:]
When you walked out someone else walked right in
Someone with good news
Stepped right in your shoes
Somebody else took your place on my knee
Another sweetie in clover fussin' all over me
I saw that you grew so cold, love
So what could I do?
Off with the old love
And on with the new
When you walked out
Honey I just had to grin
You left the door wide open and
Somebody else walked in
[2nd verse:]
A happy couple were we two while you were sweet to me
But now I'm sending bad news to my little used to be
You thought the minute you'd shake me that it would make me blue
And I would sit around lonely thinking of only you
Little you knew that

[Verse:]
Subway Guards and Motormen
Congregated once again
At the Streetcar Conductor's annual ball
Just watch them dancing 'round the slippery floor
As they did the year before
While the band is playing
Those subway guards are saying
[Refrain:]
Watch your step! watch your step!
Hear those conductors all shout
Watch your step! watch your step!
As they go dancing about
They're such a jolly mob
That crosstown trolley mob
Soon they'll all be drinking fine Rhine wine
Look at the fellows who collect your fare
See them there
Having the time of their lives
One and all at the ball
Dancing around with their wives
See the children that they bring up
On the nickels they forget to ring up
And while the band is playing
They are saying 'Watch your step!'

[1st verse:]
Said Miss Eliza Johnson to William Brown
'Up to my home you I invite
Call around some Sunday night
I'd love to have you play my piano upright'
Said Mister William Brown, 'The pleasure is mine
I can assure you lady fair'
He called around next day
And started in to play
Just to hear Eliza declare
[Refrain:]
When I hear you play that piano so sweet
My blood runs cold way down to my feet
You sure do bring forth music
Like I never heard before
When you start in playing rag by the streak
I could hear you play that box for a week
For it does most anything but speak
When you play that piano, Bill
[2nd verse:]
Said Mister William Brown, 'I can't help but blush
Because Miss Lize you flatter so
I only play the worst I know
While at my best to beat me so it must go'
Then Miss Eliza answered, 'What's that you say?
You only played the worst you knew!
Sweet William, I can guess how you play at your best
But the worst right now will do'

[1st verse:]
I no rave about Italy
I no talk about my country
Any place is the same to me
Just so long I got enough to eat
But I'd like-a to tell you dis
I'm-a kiss-a da plenty miss
But of all-a da sweet-a kiss
There's-a one got the world-a beat
[1st refrain:]
When you kiss an Italian gal, boss
Oh! you feel-a
Well, I don't know how to tell-a
But you get so excite
You go home that night
And put your left-a shoe upon the foot what is right
Let an Italian gal, boss
Kiss-a you upon the cheek
And you won't wash your face for a long-a time
'Cause it feel-a so swell
When you kiss an Italian gal
[2nd verse:]
My sweetheart-a look like a freak
Got a face-a just like next week
But the minute I kiss the cheek
Right away she look like Anna Hel'
Married men, if you got da strife
You can lead-a da happy life
Ev'ry time that you kiss your wife
Think of an Italian-a gal
[2nd refrain:]
When you kiss an Italian gal, boss
Oh! you feel-a
Well, I don't know how to tell-a
But before much-a long
You feel-a so strong
You go and choke da monk until he sing-a da song
Let an Italian gal, boss
Kiss-a you upon the cheek
And you won't wash your face for a long-a time
'Cause it feel-a so swell
When you kiss an Italian gal

[Verse:]
Winter is coming and soon
There will be frost on the moon
Snow will be falling and what am I going to do?
I'll need somebody to hold
Someone to hold when it's cold
Someone to love and I hope that that someone is you
[Refrain:]
The sun will shine in the summer
And I'll be fine in the summer
But then I've got to have you to cuddle up to
When winter comes
It's nice and warm in the summer
I'll be in form in the summer
But then I've got to have you to cuddle up to
When winter comes
All summer I'll be playing out on a tennis court
But in the winter
Just like the groundhog
I'll turn in to an indoor sport
I'll pull an oar in the summer
And hug the shore in the summer
But then I've got to have you to cuddle up to
When winter comes

[Verse:]
Lenox Avenue is known
For doing the low down
But you'll find they're not alone
In doing the low down
Fifth Avenue's learning how
They had to fall
Fifth Avenue does it now
But that's not all
[Refrain:]
Whenever the folks high-up do that mean low down
There is no low down lower than that
Whenever the swells slow down and become low down
There is no low down lower than that
You may believe it or not
When they start getting hot
There is no Hottentot
That's hotter than that
So you can lay your dough down when they go low down
There is no low down lower than that

[1st verse:]
[She:] I have a cute idea for a play
[He:] Tell me about it, do
[She:] It's just a story of ev'ryday
[He:] Nothing today is new
[She:] There isn't much to my little plot
[He:] I'm sure it's more than you say
[She:] Maybe you will not like it a lot
[He:] Tell me about your play
[Refrain:]
In the first act
A girl and boy appear
In the second act
Their fam'lies interfere
A row is started
They're broken-hearted
And soon they're parted
For one long year
In the third act
The lovers meet again
And before they take
Their curtain calls
We see them spending
A happy ending
In the last act
When the curtain falls
[2nd verse:]
[She:] What do you think of my little play?
[He:] I think it simply great
[She:] Somebody may produce it someday
[He:] I'll bet you just can't wait
[She:] I wonder what the critics will say
[He:] I'm sure 'twill fill them with joy
[She:] I'd love to be the girl in the play
[He:] I'd love to be the boy

[Verse:]
Grandma is seventy-four
Grandpa is eighty or more
Through all sorts of weather
Those dear souls grew old together
Oft-times like children at play
I hear grandpa say:
[Refrain:]
Wasn't it yesterday
When I first met you?
Wasn't it yesterday
When you became my bride?
I drove to town in a hack
And brought the minister back
To your father's rickety shack
Where the knot was tied
It seems but yesterday
And now we're old and gray
When you're in love
How the time does fly!

Doing the Washington twist
Doing the twist with a twist
No one is set till they finally get
On the President's favorite list
President's doubts while the ins and the outs
Keep on doing the Washington Twist
Gentlemen loaded with charm
Seemingly meaning no harm
But while they're there, you're becoming aware
That they're quietly twisting your arm
Gentle in tone while promoting a loan
Which is part of the Washington Twist
Congressmen's lips that are pucked
Waiting for plums to be plucked
Legal concerns, making out their returns
With expenses they'd like to deduct
Drinking a toast to the host with the most
While they're doing the Washington Twist

[1st verse:]
When the robin returns to its nest
After straying away from the rest
There's a welcome that waits
From its feathery mates
A welcome that can't be expressed
So it is with the boy who decided
From his father and mother to roam
Through his travels he may be misguided
But when fin'lly the black sheep comes home
[Refrain:]
Ev'rything that he did is forgotten
And they welcome him back to the fold
He knows by their sad, wrinkled faces
That the pain of his absence has told
Once again, they all sit 'round the table
As they did in the days of old
And they'll weep tears of joy
As they whisper 'My Boy'
When the black sheep returns to the fold
[2nd verse:]
When the smile of a fool starts to fade
When he finds out the errors he made
Then the old-fashioned truth
That he heard in his youth
Says, 'Go home,' but he is afraid
As he stands on the threshold of sorrow
With the doors of the world closed up tight
He compares yesterday with tomorrow
And decides that he'll go home that night

[Verse:]
Ever since I met you all that I seem to do is dream
Wonderful dreams
Heaven's before my eyes, when will I realize my dreams
Wonderful dreams?
[Refrain:]
The skies will all be blue
When my dreams come true
And I'll be smiling through
When my dreams come true
That Spanish castle I build in my mind
Will be your love nest, the practical kind
And I'll be there with you
When my dreams come true

[1st verse:]
Talk about your Arabian nights
I must admit they're grand
But if you long for wonderful sights
Come down to Dixie land
That's the dearest place of all
Listening to the crickets call
When the evening shadows fall
Down in Dixie land
[Refrain:]
Night time down in Dixie land
Darkies strolling hand in hand
Southern melodies
Floating on the breeze
Let me tell you it's grand
For when you hear those darkies harmonize
Tears of gladness fill your eyes
Baritones and Basses
Lounging round the places
Dixie land embraces the happiest of races
All you see is smiling faces
When it's night time in Dixie land
[2nd verse:]
Through the air float the wonderful tunes
Of Mister Whippoorwill
On the ground dance the bow-legged coons
They simply can't keep still
Vet'rans of the civil war
Telling stories by the score
How they fought in sixty-four
Down in Dixie land

[1st verse:]
So you want me to say that I love you
In the words of a storybook man
Little girl, what you ask
Is indeed quite a task
Playing hero is more than I can
I'm a stranger with flowery speeches
As a poet I never could learn
All that I ask of you is to love me
This is all I can say in return
[Refrain:]
I'll make ev'ry Monday a Sunday
I'll cover a wrong with a right
I'll still wear a smile in the morning
The smile that I wore last night
I'll stick when the sunshine has vanish'd
And darkness is all that remains
I'll hold an umbrella up over your head
When it rains, sweetheart, when it rains
[2nd verse:]
If I said that you looked like a princess
Or a queen, I'd be telling you lies
'Cause I never have seen
Any princess or queen
Still I don't think I've cheated my eyes
All the words Mister Webster made famous
With 'I love you' they never could start
If the speaker is dead on the level
And the words come from down in his heart

[1st verse:]
Let's take a stroll up the avenue
Dearie, I love to be seen with you
Showing off is one of my joys
Let me show you off to the boys
You'll never guess what they say and do
When I am out with you
[Refrain:]
I've seen them stare as we're passing by
I've seen them glare with a jealous eye
Let me tell you that I'm all in clover
When I notice how they look you over
I've heard them cry, 'It's the very best!'
Now you know why I throw out my chest
You beautiful thing, I'm as proud as a king
When I'm out with you
[2nd verse:]
I like your clothes 'cause I think they're great
You're the original fashion plate
Always something diff'rent to show
All dressed and someplace to go
If I'm conceited, don't think it queer
There is a reason, dear

[1st verse:]
I feel blue, lonesome too
Just because I'm all alone
I confess lonesomeness
Seems to be the only friend I own
No one cares to hear my woes
Friendless like a faded rose
I'm unhappy, goodness knows
When I'm all alone
[Refrain:]
When I'm alone
I'm lonesome
When I'm alone
I'm blue
Someone kindly listen to my sympathy plea
Ev'ry other girl and brother
Has a pal just like a mother
Whom they can tell their troubles
Whom they can call their own
Won't somebody kindly hear me
Linger near me, come and cheer me
I'm lonesome when alone
[2nd verse:]
One O, O, now you know
That's the number of my phone
Five, six, eight on the gate
Now you know the number of my home
Father tries to make me glad
When he thinks I'm feeling sad
But there's things you can't tell Dad
When you're all alone

[1st verse:]
I know a millionaire
Who's burdened down with care
A load is on his mind
He's thinking of the day
When he must pass away
And leave his wealth behind
I haven't any gold
To leave when I grow old
Somehow it passed me by
I'm very poor but still
I'll leave a precious will
When I must say good-bye
[Refrain:]
I'll leave the sunshine to the flowers
I'll leave the springtime to the trees
And to the old folks, I'll leave the mem'ries
Of a baby upon their knees
I'll leave the night time to the dreamers
I'll leave the songbirds to the blind
I'll leave the moon above
To those in love
When I leave the world behind
[2nd verse:]
To every wrinkled face
I'll leave a fireplace
To paint their fav'rite scene
Within the golden rays
Scenes of their childhood days
When they were sweet sixteen
I'll leave them each a song
To sing the whole day long
As toward the end they plod
To ev'ry broken heart
With sorrow torn apart
I'll leave the love of God

[1st verse:]
I've been on the go for a month or so
Now my heart begins to yearn
For the U.S.A. many miles away
And I'm anxious to return
I have been around, covered lots of ground
But it don't appeal to me
Seeing sights abroad is an awful fraud
I'm as homesick as can be
[Refrain:]
When I get back home again to the U.S.A.
In the land of peace and freedom I intend to stay
Somehow I never feel at home when I'm away from there, anywhere
No other nation in this creation would ever do for me
I guess I'm cranky 'cause I'm a yankee but then I'm proud to be
On the pier you'll hear me shouting 'Hip, Hip, Hooray'
When I get back to the U.S.A.
[2nd verse:]
There is not a thing in the song I sing
That has not been sung before
It's a story old that has oft been told
In a thousand songs or more
But when I salaam to my Uncle Sam
In the good old U.S.A.
It is not because I would ask applause
But because I feel that way
[Refrain is sung in counterpoint to 'My Country 'Tis of Thee':]
My country! 'tis of thee
Sweet land of liberty
Of thee I sing
Land where my fathers died
Land of the pilgrim's pride
From every mountainside
Let freedom ring

[Algy's Verse:]
History proves
Since the world first began
Wonderful things have been discovered by man
Though to discover has not been my plan
I'm a discoverer too
Tho' I know my name
Won't be known to fame
This much is true
Refrain:]
Columbus discovered America
Hudson discovered New York
Benjamin Franklin discovered the spark
That Edison discovered would light up the dark
Marconi discovered the wireless telegraph
Across the ocean blue
But the greatest discovery was
When you discovered me and I discovered you
[Stella's Verse:]
History proves
Since the world first began
Ev'rything great was not discovered by man
Girls can discover what men never can
I'm a discoverer too
Tho' I'll never be
Known to history
This much is true

[As sung in film:]
[Verse:]
There's a change in fashion that shows
In those Lenox Avenue clothes
Mister Dude has disappeared with his flashy tie
You'll see in the Harlem Esquire
What the well-dressed man will desire
When he's struttin' down the street with his sweetie-pie
[Refrain:]
Sun tan, shade of green
Or an olive drab color scheme
That's what the well-dressed man in Harlem will wear
Dressed up in O.D.'s
With a tin hat for overseas
That's what the well-dressed man in Harlem will wear
Top hat, white tie and tails no more
They've been put away till after the war
If you want to know
Take a look at Brown Bomber Joe
That's what the well-dressed man in Harlem will wear

[1st verse:]
Love, Love
Won't you come out from your hiding place
Let me see a trace of your hidden face
Love, Love
Wrapped in your mantle of mystery
Makes me ponder, ponder and wonder what you may be
[Refrain:]
What is love?
Is it gladness? Or a form of sadness?
Or a sign of madness?
Should we meet face to face
Will it frighten me? Kindly enlighten me
What is love?
I keep guessing whether it's a blessing
Or a thing distressing
Should it come to me
What will it prove to be
When I'm head and heels in love?
[2nd verse:]
Love, Love
Out of the darkness, I call to thee
Won't you let me see what you hold for me
Love, Love
I want to have you within my reach
For I'm yearning just to be learning the things you teach

[1st verse:]
Troubles and worries may darken the day
Shadows may frighten the sunshine away
Winds may blow over the land and sea
But as long as there's you and there's me
[Refrain:]
What does it matter if the sun won't shine
'Long as you are mine
What does it matter?
What does it matter if the clouds appear
'Long as you are near
What does it matter?
Life is never one sweet song
Things are liable to go wrong
What does it matter 'long as I love you
And you love me too
What does it matter?
[2nd verse:]
Morning may wake us with unpleasant news
Things may go wrong, just as wrong as they choose
Skies may be cloudy or skies may be blue
But as long as there's me and there's you

[Verse:]
Johnny Doughboy overseas filled with pride and joy
Stopping everyone he meets and shouting 'It's a boy'
[Refrain:]
What does he look like, that boy of mine?
Since the news came I can't get him off my mind
Does he resemble his homely dad?
Does he look like the girl that I left behind?
Bring on the Germans and bring on the Japs
Bring on the first who you can find
One for the rascal I haven't seen
And one for the girl that I left behind

[Verse:]
When the war was over, why, there were jobs galore
For the G.I. Josephs who were in the war
But for generals things were not so grand
And it's not so hard to understand
[Refrain:]
What can you do with a general
When he stops being a general?
Oh, what can you do with a general who retires?
Who's got a job for a general
When he stops being a general?
They all get a job but a general no one hires
They fill his chest with medals while he's across the foam
And they spread the crimson carpet when he comes marching home
The next day someone hollers when he comes into view
'Here comes the general' and they all say 'General who?'
They're delighted that he came
But they can't recall his name
Nobody thinks of assigning him
When they stop wining and dining him
It seems this country never has enjoyed
So many one and two and three and four star generals
Unemployed

[1st verse:]
All is ready so just hold steady
We'll soon be going to the pier
No more waiting or hesitating
The time to sail is here
Bye-bye mothers and all the others
Who'll come to shed a little tear
Don't cry
Bye-bye
Give us a parting cheer
[Refrain:]
We're on our way to France
There's not a minute to spare
That's why
For when the Yanks advance
You bet we wanna be there
Goodbye
[2nd verse:]
Old Hoboken is bent and broken
From soldiers marching on her pier
While you slumber, a great big number
Of soldiers disappear
To the millions of brave civilians
That we are leaving over here
We say
Day day
Give us a parting cheer

[1st verse:]
After all these years I can't forget
The happiness that I once knew
Maybe there's a spark that's burning yet
And filling me with thoughts of you
Gone is the treasure we found and let go
Was it worth keeping? We never will know
[Refrain:]
There might have been a sky of blue for me and you
We'll never know
There might have been a garden, too, where roses grew
We'll never know
We might have built a castle high
For you were young and so was I
But we just kissed and said 'Goodbye'
And so
We'll never know
[2nd verse:]
Maybe we had found the thing we sought
And maybe it was worth the cost
Leaving it behind without a thought
What happiness we might have lost
Maybe the rose that we covered with snow
Wanted to blossom, we never will know

We joined the Navy to see the world
And what did we see? We saw the sea
We saw the Pacific and the Atlantic
But the Atlantic isn't romantic
And the Pacific isn't what it's cracked up to be
We joined the Navy to do or die
But we didn't do and we didn't die
We were much too busy looking at the ocean and the sky
And what did we see? We saw the sea
We saw the Atlantic and the Pacific
But the Pacific isn't terrific
And the Atlantic isn't what it's cracked up to be
They tell us that the Admiral
Is as nice as he can be
But we never see the Admiral
Because the Admiral has never been to sea
We joined the Navy to see the girls
And what did we see? We saw the sea
Instead of a girl or two in a taxi
We were compelled to look at the Black Sea
Seeing the Black Sea isn't what it's cracked up to be
Sailing, sailing home again
To see the girls upon the village green
Then across the foam again
To see the other seas we haven't seen
We owe the Navy an awful lot
For they taught us how to do the Sailor's Hornpipe
And they showed us how to tie a sailor's knot
But more than that, they showed us the sea
We never get seasick sailing the ocean
We don't object to feeling the motion
We're never seasick but we are awful sick of sea

We're the girls who made the doughnuts
For the doughboys over there
And they tell us that the doughnuts
Were life savers everywhere
Follow on and we'll help you
When there's trouble about
For a man may be down but he's never out

[1st verse:]
Mother dear, it's lonely here without you
Days and nights are long, ev'rything goes wrong
All I seem to do is think about you
Dearest friend I knew
Oh, how I miss you
[Refrain:]
Was there ever a pal like you?
Was there ever a gal like you?
You taught me the right from the wrong way
You showed me the short from the long way
Was there ever a flow'r that grew
Half as pure as your heart so true?
They needed an angel in Heaven
So they sent for a pal like you
[2nd verse:]
Mother dear, my love for you grows dearer
Dearer day by day since you went away
Ev'ry day an angel draws us nearer
Just a while and then
We will meet again

[Verse:]
Weary of roaming on, yearning to see the dawn
Counting the hours till I can lay down my load
Weary but I don't mind, knowing that soon I'll find
Peace and contentment at the end of the road
[1st refrain:]
The way is long, the night is dark
But I don't mind 'cause a happy lark
Will be singing at the end of the road
I can't go wrong, I must go right
I'll find my way 'cause a guiding light
Will be shining at the end of the road
There may be thorns in my path
But I'll wear a smile
'Cause in a little while
My path will be roses
The rain may fall from up above
But I won't stop 'cause the ones I love
Will be waiting at the end of the road
[Additional lyrics as sung in film (more or less):]
I seem to roam through a field
That is snowy white
And through the silent night
A banjo is strumming
[???] come back, I roam no more
A mammy's heart and a cabin door
Will be open at the end of the road
You'll hear that old Devil say
'Come on down below'
But you just let him know
You're heading for Heaven
Come on and climb the Golden Stairs
And all your troubles and all your cares
Will be over at the end of the road

[Father's Refrain:]
You must wait
Until you're married
If you want
A happy life
If you want to know what bliss is
You must save your kisses
Till you're married, married
Till you become a wife
[Daughter's Verse:]
No more pig-tails, no more toys
I'm old enough to play with boys
No more school books, I'm all set
For the kisses that I haven't had yet
[Daughter's counterpoint Refrain:]
I can't wait till I'm married to unwrap my many charms
I can't wait till I'm married to be lost in someone's arms
I can't wait for those kisses till I take that marriage vow
I can't wait until I'm married, I want a little love right now

[1st verse:]
I'm writing her a letter
To Virginia where I met her
And believe me I'll feel better
When she knows I'm coming home
My heart will cease it's aching
If God grants tomorrow's waking
A train I will be taking to my own
Let me hear a Southern tune
For I'm going back to Virginia soon
[Refrain:]
Virginia Lou
I'm coming home to you
Because I'm lonesome and blue
All through and through
Southern jokes and Southern folks
Are good enough for me too
If they're for you
If I remain
I'll go insane
I'm waiting now to bless the train
That carries me back to old Virginia
Lou, Lou
I'm coming home to you
Virginia Lou
[2nd verse:]
If Southern blood flows in yer
Take a map of old Virginia
Look 'er over and then kin yer
Help but say that none compare
The map is bound to find yer
Weeping tears of joy that blind yer
If you left one behind yer, waiting there
Pretty gals there's quite a few
But there's only one Virginia Lou

[1st verse:]
Come over closer, my dear
Come over here
I've a confession to make
Long before I met you
I have loved quite a few
There have been many sweet girls I cared for
Tho' 'twas all long ago
It's only fair you should know
[Refrain:]
I loved a lovely girl in London
I loved a peach in Spain
I used to pet a brunette while in gay Paree
I was fond of a blonde while in Germany
While in Japan I met a Geisha
I thought I loved her too
I've loved a diff'rent girl in ev'ry land
I've sampled kisses, dear, of ev'ry brand
But I never really fell in love, dear
Until I fell in love with you
[2nd verse:]
I'm very glad you confessed
Tho' I'd have guessed
You're only human, dear boy
Don't you worry, my dear
There is nothing to fear
Ev'ryone flirts till they meet the right one
It is all in the game
I have been doing the same

[Verse:]
Patriotism has gone out of fashion
We seem to think our patriotic days are dead
We used to sing of our homeland with passion
But now we seem to shy away from it instead
I think it's time to hit the nail right on the head
[Refrain:]
This is a great country, a great country
So let's shout it clear and loud
Take a look in your hist'ry book
And you'll see why we should be proud
Hats off to America
The home of the free and the brave
If this is flag waving, flag waving
Do you know of a better flag to wave?

[1st verse:]
Benjamin Manner played a grand piano
And he cert'nly played it fine
Played the piano all the time
Like a reg'lar Rubinstein
Sunday he called around to see Miss Lucy Brown
And said 'My darling pet
I have found a new way to make love
That hasn't been discovered yet
Won't you let me show you how?'
But Miss Lucy cried 'not now':
[Refrain:]
Try it on your piano grand
I don't care to understand
B or I flat, C or Y flat
Try it hon' but not in my flat
While I don't doubt that what you say is true
I'm not taking chances with some love that's new
So Mister Manner, try it on your piano
But you can't try it on me
[2nd verse:]
Benjamin Manner sold his grand piano
And became a doctor fair
One who cures your pain and care
He was known most ev'rywhere
Lucy took sick one day, he called around to say
'I've brought with me a pill
It's a new discovery of my own
That surely ought to cure or kill
It has never yet been tried'
But Miss Lucy loudly cried:
[2nd refrain:]
Try it on your piano grand
I don't care to understand
B or I flat
C or Y flat
Try it hon' but not in my flat
Give me Peruna for my ev'ry pain
For he who takes that will live to take again
So try your brand up on a baby grand
Because you can't try it on me

I just got an invitation through the mails:
"your presence requested this evening, it’s formal
A top hat, a white tie and tails"
Nothing now could take the wind out of my sails
Because I’m invited to step out this evening
With top hat, white tie and tails
I’m puttin’ on my top hat
Tyin’ up my white tie
Brushin’ off my tails
I’m dudein’ up my shirt front
Puttin’ in the shirt studs
Polishin’ my nails
I’m steppin’ out, my dear
To breathe an atmosphere that simply reeks with class
And I trust that you’ll excuse my dust when I step on the gas
For I’ll be there
Puttin’ down my top hat
Mussin’ up my white tie
Dancin’ in my tails

[Verse:]
Mammy mine, there's a light divine
In your eyes that shines for me
And that light tells me I'm all right
Though the world may not agree
Whatever they say or do
I know how I stand with you
[1st refrain:]
Who cares what the world may say?
No matter what comes my way
I'm everything
To my mammy
And who cares if I lose the race?
No matter who takes my place
I'm still the king
To my mammy
How much does she love me? I'll tell you no lie
How deep is the ocean? How high is the sky?
Who cares if my friends have gone?
You'll find me still holding on
'Cause I can cling
To my mammy
[2nd refrain:]
Who cares if the people shout
I'm nothing to rave about?
I'm everything
To my mammy
And who cares if the future shows
I may be in beggar's clothes?
I'm still the king
To my mammy
The crowd disapproving won't hurt me because
My mammy still loves me and that's my applause
Who cares if they say I'm through?
Someday when my song won't do
I still can sing
To my mammy

[Verse:]
My mother was frightened by
A snoopy neighbor who poked his eye
Through mother's keyhole and that is why
I am what I am today
The man who looks through the keyholes along Broadway
My job is to be alert
And get the lowdown on all the dirt
The dirt that gathers on Broadway's skirt
For that's how I earn my pay
The man who looks through the keyholes along Broadway
[1st refrain:]
Would you like to take a look through a keyhole?
If you'd like to get the in on the latest bit of sin, have a look
Life is like an open book through a keyhole
If you wonder what occurs 'ere the lady gets her furs, have a look
Angry people who think they're tough
Start to threaten but that's a bluff
They may holler but they won't stuff up their keyhole
So come on and have a look through a keyhole
If you'd like to get a view, view of who is cheating who, have a look
[2nd refrain:]
So come on and have a look through a keyhole
If you want to see New York getting ready for the stork, have a look
Life is like an open book through a keyhole
If you want to get a load of the husband on the road, have a look
Lovely ladies of ev'ry kind
Think they're safe when they pull the blind
I see just what is on their mind through a keyhole
So come on and have a look through a keyhole
If you'd really like to know how she got into the show, have a look

[As sung in film:]
[Verse:]
'Twas not so long ago we sailed to meet the foe
And thought our fighting days were done
We thought 'twas over then but now we're in again
To win the war that wasn't won
[Refrain:]
This time, we will all make certain
That this time is the last time
This time, we will not say 'Curtain'
Till we ring it down in their own home town
For this time, we are out to finish
The job we started then
Clean it up for all time this time
So we won't have to do it again
Dressed up to win
We're dressed up to win
Dressed up for victory
We are just beginning
And we won't stop winning
Till the world is free
[Coda:]
We'll fight to the finish this time
And we'll never have to do it again

[1st verse:]
Farmer Brown came to town
Started to take in the sights
Cabarets, swell cafes
Took up most of his nights
After seven days or so
After seeing ev'ry show
After meeting May and Flo
Farmer Brown remarked
[Refrain:]
I love the cows and chickens
But this is the life, this is the life!
I love to raise the dickens!
While I'm Cabareting
Where the band is playing
I love the homemade cider
But I'd rather have wine
No more picking berries
Me for cocktail cherries!
This is the life, this is the life, this is the life for mine
[2nd verse:]
Missus Brown, out of town
Wrote to her husband and said
'Please come home, I'm alone!'
When her letter, he read
Farmer Brown took off his coat
Sat right down and then he wrote
To his wife a little note
This is what he said:

[1st verse:]
They're gettin' ready
They're gettin' ready
We've had a row and now they're going to war
They've got their orders
To sail the waters
With heavy heart they start for a foreign shore
They're not excited
They're just delighted
To go and shake them, make them stand up and roar
Like they never did before
[Refrain:]
They're on their way to Mexico
Just see those Yankee fighters, foe exciters
Gettin' ready to go
They're on their way to win the day
Just take a look at those Yankee brothers
Waving to their grey hair'd mothers
Goodbye, they're leaving
Goodbye, stop grieving
Don't cry, they're glad to go
They'll make them run like a herd of cattle
They'll know they've had some battle
Way down in Mexico
[2nd verse:]
Come over near them
Come on and cheer them
They've got a right to fight this battle because
They've been invited
To go and fight it
And so they're in to win and they'll never pause
Until they take 'em
And then they'll make 'em
With head erect, respect America's laws
Give three cheers for them because

[1st verse:]
Jimmy's mother went to see her son
Marching along on parade
In his uniform and with his gun
What a lovely picture he made
She came home that ev'ning
Filled up with delight
And to all the neighbors
She would yell with all her might
[Refrain:]
Did you see my little Jimmy marching
With the soldiers up the avenue?
There was Jimmy just as stiff as starch
Like his Daddy on the seventeenth of March
Did you notice all the lovely ladies
Casting their eyes on him?
Away he went
To live in a tent
Over in France with his regiment
Were you there, and tell me, did you notice?
They were all out of step but Jim
[2nd verse:]
That night little Jimmy's father stood
Buying the drinks for the crowd
You could tell that he was feeling good
He was talking terribly loud
Twenty times he treated
My! but he was dry
When his glass was empty
He would treat again and cry
[Alternate Lines In 2nd refrain:]
It made me glad
To gaze at the lad
Lord help the Kaiser if he's like his Dad

[Verse:]
Oh! What a trip
What a wonderful trip
And to think that I was worried
At the start of the trip
I must confess that I was filled with doubt
But there was really nothing to worry about
[1st refrain:]
They love me, they love me
I'm welcome everywhere with open arms
They love me, they love me
I never knew I had so many charms
In Pakistan they took me sailing on a lovely lake
In India they let me see a mongoose kill a snake
Because they love me, they love me
And they want me to come back again
[2nd refrain:]
They love me, they love me
In Tokyo they think that I'm a dream
They claimed me and named me
'America's Ambassador Supreme'
They always have a banquet on the day that I arrive
In Borneo they made me eat an octopus alive
Because they love me, they love me
And they want me to come back again
[3rd refrain:]
They love me, they love me
With every place I visit it's the same
They meet me and greet me
With every kind of present you can name
A chieftain in New Guinea with his forehead painted red
Presented me with a poison arrow and a shrunken head
Because they love me, oh they love me
And they want me to come back again
[3rd refrain:]
They love me, they love me
I smile when I'm presented with a key
In Thailand 'twas my land
I spent a happy day from two to three
The day I left Arabia my seat was full of bumps
They made me ride a camel where I sat between the humps
Because they love me, they love me
And they want me to come back
They want me to come back
They want me to come back again

[1st verse:]
The presidential year will soon be drawing near
The people soon will choose their fav'rite son
I wonder what they'll do in Nineteen fifty-two
I wonder who they'll send to Washington
[1st refrain:]
They like Ike
And Ike is good on a mike
They like Ike
-But Ike says he don't wanna
That makes Ike
The kind o' feller they like
And what's more
They seem to think he's gonna
-But Harry won't get out
-They're in for plenty of fights
-Harry won't get out
-He's got squatter's rights
But there's Ike
And Ike is good on a mike
And they know
The votes that he can carry
-But don't forget there's Harry
But they like Ike
[2nd verse:]
They won't take Saltonstall and Stassen's chance is small
The same would go for Vandenberg and Taft
And Dewey's right in line with William Jennings Bryan
There isn't anyone that they can draft
[2nd refrain:]
They like Ike
And Ike is good on a mike
They like Ike
-But Ike says he won't take it
That makes Ike
The kind o' feller they like
And what's more
They seem to think he'll make it
-But Harry's on the ground
-And should Republicans win
-When they come around
-He won't let them in
If it's Ike
Your Chief can get on his bike
And his things
A moving van will carry
-They can't do that to Harry!
But they like Ike
[3rd verse:]
For nearly twenty years we've had the people's cheers
The Democrats continue to advance
Of course, they could arrange to make a sudden change
But no one's 'round who seems to have a chance
[3rd refrain:]
They like Ike
And Ike is good on a mike
They like Ike
-But Ike says he's not bidding
That makes Ike
The kind o' feller they like
And what's more
They seem to think he's kidding
-But Harry won't consent
-They'll get a sock on the jaw
-Republican President?
-That's against the law
If it's Ike
Your Chief can go on a hike
And we boys
Will see he doesn't tarry
-Please don't do that to Harry!
But they like Ike
[4th verse:]
With your permission, sir, we're anxious to confer
And we would like to do it privately
Go on and make your crack, I'll even turn my back
But if you're speaking of the G.O.P.
[4th refrain:]
They like Ike
And Ike is good on a mike
They like Ike
-But Ike says he'll reject it
That makes Ike
The kind o' feller they like
And what's more
They think he'll be elected
-But Harry won't give in
-Defeat he'll never admit
-No one else can win
-He won't stand for it
If it's Ike
Your Chief can get on his bike
Two years more
The month of January
-They can't do that to Harry!
But they like Ike
[5th verse:]
It seems that ev'ry Spring they all approach the ring
And cockily keep throwing in their hats
They always lose but then they come right back again
And some of them come back as Democrats
[5th refrain:]
They like Ike
And Ike is good on a mike
They like Ike
-But Ike says he don't choose to
That makes Ike
The kind o' feller they like
And what's more
They know he won't refuse to
-But Harry is content
-To stay there living in peace
-The people pay the rent
-You can't break his lease
If it's Ike
Your Chief can go on a strike
And we boys
Will hand his hat to Harry
-You can't do that to Harry!
But they like Ike

[Verse:]
Far across the ocean blue
There's a dang'rous boogy boo
He'll be after me and you
Bye and bye
He's as bad as he can be
When I spell his name you'll see
B-O-L-S-H-E-V-I-K-I
[Refrain:]
Look out for the Bolsheviki man
You can tell him any place by the whiskers on his face
He's a slippery fellow from Russia
Seeking fortune and fame
Be careful of his game
It's full of 'bull' just like his name
So, look out for the Bolsheviki man
To the speeches that he makes tie a little can
He hasn't got a single sou
And he wants to share it all with you
Look out! Look out!
For the Bolsheviki Man

[Verse:]
Years ago when I was just a wee little thing
A man never squeezed a girl till she got the ring
They were both engaged before the boy took a chance
But now all he has to do is ask her to dance
[1st refrain:]
They call it dancing, you see them cuddled up tight
They're only dancing so ev'rything is all right
Until the midnight cabaret closes
You can see he and she rubbing noses
She calls him 'Mister' They're only friends it appears
And then he'll twist her like they've been married for years
A man can squeeze all the she's
With his arms and his knees
And they call it dancing, that's all
[2nd refrain:]
They call it dancing, you see them cuddled up tight
They're only dancing so ev'rything is all right
Until the midnight cabaret closes
You can see he and she rubbing noses
If it's a ballroom she doesn't mind his embrace
But in a hallroom she'd slap him right in the face
A man can grab someone's wife
Have the time of his life
And they call it dancing, that's all

[1st verse:]
There must be something nice about me
Because the girls can't do without me
I refuse them but can't lose them
They always follow me
I never dare to go out riding
I've always got to keep in hiding
I'm a chappy most unhappy
Just because the girls
[Refrain:]
They follow me around, all around, all around
Follow me around, all around, all around
I don't know why they hound me, surround me
Where ever I may be I can see two or three
Ev'ry other she wants to be on my knee
And any time they find me
They drag along behind me
It keeps me dodging in hallways
Because they always follow me around
[2nd verse:]
I'm followed by young girls good looking
And even cooks who do their cooking
Leave their stoves and come in droves
Demanding my autograph
The matinee I play on Wednesday
Is what I've nick-named 'My Old Hen's Day'
Each old maid is on parade
And when they see me come

[Verse:]
I've been a traveling chap
Traveled all over the map
From London to Jamaica
Where they make the ginger snap
I've seen America through
Right down to Kalamazoo
And talking 'bout America
Let me say to you
[Refrain:]
There's something nice about the South
A paradise is 'way down South
It seems that nowadays
They love to sing it's praise
A song of Dixie lingers in ev'ry singer's mouth
There's something sweet about their ways
The girls you meet are oh! so diff'rent
Tennessee, Florida, Alabam'
Fav'rite children of Uncle Sam
There's something nice about the South

[1st verse:]
I'm in love with you but I'll admit I've told the same tale o'er
To a lot of girls but I'll admit, 'twas never meant before
Like ev'ry boy, I've loved a few, 'tis true
But never with a love I feel for you
So I think for future happiness
My past I should confess
[Refrain:]
There's a girl in Havana
There's a girl in Savannah
I've wooed a few sweet girlies who
I promised to be true to
But then I never knew, dear
That I'd ever meet you, dear
So let's forget the girls I met
Before I met you
[2nd verse:]
If a fellow says he loves you and he's never said the same
To another girl, if you believe him, you're the one to blame
When love is true each thought you would confide
When love is true there's naught that you could hide
So to prove my love is not amiss
Is why I tell you this

[1st verse:]
When I left the old folks
Down in Dixieland
From that very moment
I could understand
Why they put two I's in Dixie
When they spell that word
Here's the simple reason
It's the best you've ever heard
[Refrain:]
There are two I's in Dixie
D-I-X-I-E
Two eyes in Dixie
Always watching me
And while I'm straying
By day and night
They keep on saying
'Turn to the right'
Makes no diff'rence where I wander
Or where I happen to be
I simply can't go wrong
Because the whole day long
There are two eyes in Dixie watching me
[2nd verse:]
Ev'ry night you'll find me
With a pen in hand
Writing them a letter
Down in Dixieland
I can see two eyes in Dixie
Reading what I write
And I ask their blessing
When I say my pray'rs each night

[1st verse:]
Alexander Johnson had a music ear
He could whistle any tune he'd ever hear
Couldn't sing or hum, he was good as dumb
When it came to singing, but you bet he could whistle some
Liza heard him whistling a ragtime air
'Me for you,' she whispered to him then and there
Now he can't decline, be it rain or shine
Liza keeps a-shouting all the time
[Refrain:]
Honey, whistle that whistling rag [whistle]
Fill your lungs with that whistling drag
Blessings upon the fairy who revealed my black canary
Honey, I can't reply, just 'cause my lips are dry
So, honey, whistle that whistling rag [whistle]
That's the whistling rag
[2nd verse:]
Alexander whistled till he caught a cold
Pretty soon the fever got a stranglehold
Doctor shook his head, looked at him and said
'Cut the whistle out,' the doctor shouted, 'And stay in bed'
Liza heard the doctor and began to shout
'Doctor, if you're goin' to cut the whistle out
Won't you kindly wait e'er it's too late?
Let me say before you operate'

Square dance
The Washington Square dance
Republicans make up with the Democrats
Show those foreign diplomats
That you dare dance
The Washington Square dance
No matter which side you're on or where you stand
Take your partner by the hand
And each pair dance
The Washington Square dance
The theme is a get-together policy
Show your friends across the sea
It's a fair dance
The Washington Square dance
The rules are the same as cricket, golf or squash
No fair cheatin' 'cause the Wash-
-ington Square dance is square
-Bow to your partners, bow to your corners
Dance till your cheeks are red as a rose
But try not to step on your partner's toes
-Now, duck for the oyster, dig for the clam
Duck for the oyster, dig for the clam
But do your diggin' for Uncle Sam
-One for the money, two for the show
One for the money, two for the show
Three to make ready for Uncle Joe
-Republicans over to the right
-Democrats over to the left
The left meet the right and don't explode
Try to find the middle of the road
And square dance, the Washington Square dance
Be careful, you'll have to watch your step, by gosh!
No round heels because the Wash-
-ington Square dance is square

[Verse:]
Jazz dancing nowadays does not appeal to me
I never cared about the jazzy melody
I'd love to dance around a while
But my kind of dance is out of style
[Refrain:]
I love to dance the dreamy waltz
Of long ago
When grand-mama and grand-papa
Were girl and beau
I can see them there dancing
Such a happy pair romancing
While gliding o'er
The ballroom floor
To the waltz of long ago

[1st verse:]
There's a land where hearts are aching and eyes are wet with tears
It's the land where hearts start breaking when the smoke of battle clears
There's a voice that seems to haunt me when the shades of night appear
'Tis the mournful voice of Belgium ringing in my ear
[Refrain:]
I hear the voice of Belgium calling far across the sea
I speak of wives and mothers waiting patiently
I hear the cries of children praying, sad as they could be
I can hear them say, 'Please, send my Daddy back to me'
[2nd verse:]
Hear a voice that rings with sorrow, it mournfully imparts
That the news of each tomorrow means a thousand broken hearts
See a hand stretch'd out for mercy with a plea to every man
'Tis the call for help from Belgium - answer, if you can

[1st verse:]
Strange, but there's a change
In how the people walk these days
Yes! you must confess
That ever since the dancing craze
Ev'rybody has a syncopated walk
Where it's in the air
You'll find them swaying as they go
Smile but all the while
You must admit that it is so
For they do, they do
If you don't think it's true
[Refrain:]
Look at 'em doin' it! Look at 'em doin' it!
That syncopated walk
Look at 'em doin' it! Look at 'em doin' it!
I know who introduced it
Wait'll he reaches you
Wait'll he teaches you
That syncopated walk
You'll be doing it too
Because it's done by ev'ryone
You'll find it's international
That irrational step
It's full of 'Pep', full of 'Pep'
And in the morning when they rise
For their morning exercise
They take a syncopated walk
[2nd verse:]
Say what e'er you may
It's in the air without a doubt
You will do it too
Before you know what you're about
You'll be walking with a syncopated walk
Don't you say you won't
Because you don't know what you say
Friend, you can depend
That it will strike you some fine day
E'er you know you'll go
If you don't think it's so

[Music and lyrics later revised as 'Mandy' (1919)]
[Verse:]
I was strolling out one evening 'neath the sterling silver moon
I could hear somebody singing a familiar tune
So I stopped a while to listen
Not a word I wanted to miss
It was just somebody serenading something like this
[Refrain:]
Mandy
Sweeter than a bushel of candy
Don't you know the summer is dandy
For a sterling silver spoon?
My pretty Mandy
Don't you know the parson is handy?
Come and talk it over with Andy
'Neath the sterling silver moon

Listen to the song of the metronome
Tick - tock, tick - tock
Simple little song of the metronome
Tick - tock, tick - tock
Listen to it telling you that life is sublime
Life is sublime if you just take your time
Just keep in time to the song of the metronome
Listen to it tick-tock an even beat
Tick - tock, tick - tock
Beating out a warning to anxious feet
Tick - tock, tick - tock
Telling you a turtle had a race with a hare
And at the finish the turtle was there
Keeping in time with the song of the metronome
Tick - tock, tick - tock
You may be passed
Tick - tock, tick - tock
But you will last
Better to be late than to not arrive
Tick - tock, tick - tock
Four o'clock is gone but you still have five
Tick - tock, tick - tock
When your day is over you'll be up on the shelf
So, brother, don't run away with yourself
Don't run away from the song of the metronome

[1st refrain:]
The secret service makes me nervous
When I am dating they are waiting to observe us
When I get ready to hold steady for the kiss you plant
The secret service makes me nervous and I can't
They're always spying, no denying
They're always peeping, gumshoe creeping, private eye-ing
When I'm beginning to give-inning like a maiden aunt
The secret service makes me nervous and I can't
I've been exposed beyond control
Just like a goldfish in a bowl
The President's daughter must drink water
No drink of Scotch, she might do what she hadn't oughter
When I'm ignited, so excited that I start to pant
The secret service makes me nervous
When my lamps are lit and I say 'This is it!'
The secret service makes me nervous and I can't
[2nd refrain:]
The secret service makes me nervous
Those White House 'dicks' get all their kicks when they observe us
Just as I wind up, make my mind up not to say 'I won't'
The secret service makes me nervous and I don't
When things look rosy they get nosy
They'll say there's 'tootsie' playing 'footsie' very cosy
My pulse goes higher, I'm on fire, shaking at the knees
The secret service makes me nervous and I freeze
Whatever I may do or say
Will be reported the next day
They don't see clearly when I'm merely being courted
When I'm just necking, simply pecking with a 'Cary Grant'
They stand behind me to remind me
Who and what I am when I don't give a damn
The secret service makes me nervous and I can't

[1st verse:]
Once a boy met a man who was famous
Filled with envy the boy sadly sighed
'Oh, how happy I'd be
If such fame smiled on me'
Then the famous man replied
[Refrain:]
The road that leads to fortune and fame
Is paved with gold in your dreams
But after you've journeyed and reached your aim
It seldom is all that it seems
To have, to hold, to love and caress
Is all we can ask from above
For the road that leads to happiness
Is the road that leads to love
[2nd verse:]
On the highway of love ev'ry milestone
Is an Angel from Heaven above
All the world will be bright
If you turn to the right
To the road that leads to love

[Verse:]
Did you hear of the razor brigade?
Of the big reputation they've made?
Ever since they came to France
They've been used in ev'ry advance
They are noted for capturing Huns
And they never go in with their guns
When the Captain takes his stand
He gives them this command:
[Refrain:]
Take your trusty razor by the hand
Lead him gently into No-Man's Land
Keep a-dancing while advancing
And the first Hun that you meet
Hold up your razors
And cut off his retreat
They'll surrender when they see your blade
Razors make those German lads afraid
And when you bring your pris'ners back
You can make them ball the jack
And the world will say hip-hip-hooray
For the Ragtime Razor Brigade

[Verse:]
Tickets for one and all
For the Policeman's Ball
[Refrain:]
Fifty cents for a gent and his bundle
Will admit you to the Policeman's Ball
Fifty cents and you're all set to trundle
Arm in arm and dance all around the hall
Dancin' 'round, gettin' hot 'neath the collar
If it starts to wilt from the lack of starch
There'll be six you can buy for a dollar
And you'll have a spare for the big Grand March
All evening they'll be tripping the light fantastic
Watch their suspenders stretching the old elastic
Each dress'd up in a suit made of cotton
Patent leather shoes that are much too small
But who cares? That'll soon be forgotten
Dancing at the Policeman's Ball
[Coda:]
Come on let's go to the Policeman's Ball

By the Adriatic waters
Venetian sons and daughters
Are strumming a new tune upon their guitars
It was written by a Latin
A gondolier who sat in
His home out in Brooklyn and gazed at the stars
He sent his melody
Across the sea
To Italy
And we know
They wrote some words to fit
That catchy bit
And christened it
The Piccolino
And we know that it's the reason
Why everyone this season
Is strumming and humming a new melody
Come to the casino
And hear them play the Piccolino
Dance with your bambino
To the strains of the catchy Piccolino
Drink your glass of vino
And when you've had your plate of scalopino
Make them play the Piccolino
The catchy Piccolino
And dance to the strains of that new melody
The Piccolino

Once a human rose was born
But she grew to be a thorn
Piercing hearts of loving men
One will never love again
He who died won't feel the loss
She must live and bear the cross
Fortune holds a tearful hour
For him who'd love the passion flower
Passion flower, the fates have spoken
You alone must pay the cost
Passion flower, your heart is broken
Aching for the one you loved and lost
But Angel hands are ever mending
Broken hearts within their power
Heaven holds a happy ending
For a lonely passion flower

[Verse:]
My youth was spent in the Orient
Where they never taught me to waltz
You'd be surprised when I exercised
It was never done to a waltz
It was done like this
But never to a waltz
[1st refrain:]
In ancient Siam, women like I am
Indoors or on the street
No woman dances with her feet
Egyptian, Persian, only one version
No other stands a chance
Feet are for walking, not for dance
To an oriental fiddle,
You can see them shake their middle
The feet don't mean a thing
Middles are all they swing
Even an Egyptian mummy
Wiggles her tummy
Wiggles it so and so
That is the only dance I know
[2nd refrain:]
You don't need an Arthur Murray
Just a fringe that's on the surrey
Will satisfy your needs
Dancing between the beads
Everybody shake your torso
Sexy but more so
Shake it, come on, let's go
Let's do the only dance I know

[Man:]
How dry I am, how dry I am
It's plain to see just why I am
No alcohol in my highball
And that is why so dry I am
Waiter, Waiter
[Waiter:]
What do you want? What do you want?
[Man:]
I'm just as thirsty as can be
[Waiter:]
What'll you have? What'll you have?
[Man:]
Suggest a little drink for me
[Waiter:]
Of the very finest soft drinks we have all the best
[Man:]
I don't know a thing about them
What would you suggest?
[Waiter:]
Have a little Coca-Cola
Really, it's a lovely drink
Percy, Clarence, Reginald, too
They will recommend it to you
Have a little Coca-Cola
It's the very best I think
It isn't alcoholic but you can have a frolic
If you take enough to drink
[Man:]
They are much too dry
[Waiter:]
Then how'd you like to try
Sarsaparilla, try sarsaparilla
Sarsaparilla ought to do
Rockefeller drinks sarsaparilla
And what's good enough for Rockefeller
Is good enough for you
[Man:]
Go and tell John D
His drink won't do for me
[Waiter:]
Then have a little glass of grape juice
It's the only drink to buy
Really, it's fine, simply divine
It's recommended by William J. Bryan
Eve'rybody's drinking grape juice
Ever since the town went dry
I've heard them tell, sir
That grape juice and seltzer
Is just the little drink to try
[Man:]
That won't do, I'm afraid
[Waiter:]
Then try some lemonade
A little lemon, a little sugar
A little vichy and a straw
Makes the very nicest little drink you ever saw
You ought to buy one, come on and try one
For it's the finest drink that's made
Drinks like this'll wet your whistle
Have a glass of lemonade
[Man:]
That won't do I fear
I'd like a glass of beer
[Waiter:]
Then have some Bevo
Have a drink of Bevo
It's the grandest imitation that we know
If you care for beer, it's the drink you should pick
It tastes like lager but it hasn't got the kick
[Bevo Girl:]
Bevo, have a drink of Bevo
Though it hasn't got a punch up it's sleeve-o
[Waiter:]
Those who drink it insist that a Christian Scientist
Could easily come staggering home on Bevo
[Man:]
How dry I am, how dry I am
It's plain to see just why I am
Oh, how I call for alcohol
And that is why so dry I am
[The Spirit of Alcohol:]
I hear you calling me
I am the Spirit of Alcohol
For let me assure you one and all
I'm not dead, I'm only asleep
Some day I'll come back to you
[Chorus:]
We hope you do, we hope you do
[The Spirit of Alcohol:]
When your laws are not so blue
[Chorus:]
We hope you do, we hope you do
[The Spirit of Alcohol:]
When you give Prohibition your shoe
[Chorus:]
You bet your life we'll kick it
Because it's very wicked
[The Spirit of Alcohol:]
Say to Mister Temperance you're through
[Chorus:]
That's what we'll do, that's what we'll do
[The Spirit of Alcohol:]
I'll come back someday
With a hip, hip hooray
Until I do, I'll give to you
A little cocktail that is new

Citizens of New York, I greet you
With the hundred thousand dollar check
The money that my readers have contributed
For the pedestal of the statue
Citizens of New York, I greet you
With the news that soon our flag will be unfurled
On the most expensive statue in the world
-On the most expensive statue in the world
When it's finally installed, tell us, what will it be called?
-When it's finally installed, tell us, what will it be called?
When we finally install it
What's the diff'rence what we call it?
It's the best that money can buy
And will stand three hundred feet high
And I understand before we're through the cost may not be known
A hundred thousand dollars for the pedestal alone
And our flag will soon be unfurled
On the most expensive statue in the world
-On the most expensive statue in the world
When it finally is claimed, tell us, what will it be named?
-When it finally is claimed, tell us, what will it be named?
When at last we come to claim it
What's the diff'rence what we name it?
What's important is the expense
What it means in dollars and cents
From the French across the ocean it was sent to me and you
And now I'd like to call upon and hear a word or two
From our friend the French ambassador
Your honor, I speak not for my government but my people
For it is not my government but my people who give this statue
Creation of the genius of Bartholdi
May it arise in your harbor and give the light of
Liberty, equality, fraternity
Finally, when we install it, why don't we call it 'Liberty'?
'The Statue of Liberty'!
-'The Statue of Liberty'!
And the most expensive statue in the world!
-And the most expensive statue in the world!

[Verse:]
Monkeys upon a tree never are very blue
They never seem to be under par that is true
Not like the ones you see on a bar in the zoo
Monkeys upon a tree do the Monkey Doodle Doo
[Refrain:]
Oh, among the mangoes where the monkey gang goes
You can see them do
The little Monkey Doodle Doo
Oh, a little monkey playing on his one key
Gives them all the cue
To do the Monkey Doodle Doo
Let me take you by the hand
Over to the jungle band
If you're too old for dancing
Get yourself a monkey gland
And then let's
Go, my little dearie, there's the Darwin theory
Telling me and you
To do the Monkey Doodle Doo

[1st verse:]
It's eleven forty-five
Just as sure as you're alive
Just see those minstrel folks
Parading up the Avenue two by two
They've been billed all over town
Ev'ry one of them a clown
Why, I can hear them coming up the street
Honey, you better come down
[Refrain:]
Here they come, here they come
Marching to the big bass drum
Come and see those minstrels parade
In their costumes covered with braid
Hear those coons playing tunes
Like they should be played
From ev'ry dwelling
Folks will come
To hear them telling
Lots of funny riddles at the old town hall
One and all
Come on and watch the minstrel parade
[2nd verse:]
Get your tickets for the show
Oh, my honey, if you go
You'll know the reason why
A chicken goes across the street
It's a treat
Paint your face up with a smile
Get yourself rigged up in style
They're only here to play a one night stand
Honey, you better come down

[Verse:]
I had a mammy for a nurse
When she could not be feeling worse
She'd take her troubles into church
And while the bells were ringing
She'd come out singing
[Refrain:]
The Lord done fixed up my eyes
I see Heaven way up there in the skies
Bless the Lord for fixin' my eyes
The Lord done fixed up my ears
I hear music like I ain't heard in years
Bless the Lord for fixin' my ears
The Lord done fixed up my heart
I got courage now
Ain't afraid somehow
The Lord done fixed up my soul
It was broken and the Lord made it whole
Bless the Lord for makin' my soul whole
Bless the Lord, bless the Lord, bless the Lord
[Patter:]
Down to the river, we'll go down to the river
And we'll wash our sins away
Down to the river and we'll ask the Forgiver
For his praise on Judgment Day
And we'll bless our Lord and say

I don't care who takes you to the party, baby
I don't care, long as I can take you home
I don't care just who you go with, just who it may be
I don't care how much you're with him
Long as you wind up with me
I don't care how long you keep me waiting, baby
I won't leave till the band plays 'Home Sweet Home'
Give him all the dances at the party, baby
But save your kisses for when I take you home

[1st verse:]
Do you know just who we are
If you don't, look at that star
We're the Constabules
And we're no darned fools
There are speeders in the town
And we're here to run them down
They ran like the dickens
And they killed four chickens
That belonged to Farmer Brown
We've got a darned good clue
The car was painted blue
[Refrain:]
We're the county sheriffs
And the law must be obeyed
When they speed in an automobile
You can hear us holler, 'Whoa, Bill'
Any time we catch them
There's a fine that must be paid
So we must arrest those gents
The jail house needs a fence
It'll cost us sixty cents
So the law must be obeyed
[2nd verse:]
We will catch them yet, by heck!
If it makes us both a wreck
When we do, you bet
They'll be all upset
There was one that wore a cap
Like a gosh darned sporty chap
No doubt from the city
'Cause a gal quite pretty
Was a-sittin' on his lap
Don't be one bit surprised
You may find us disguised

[1st verse:]
You see that vacant house
As quiet as a mouse
It's chock full of myst'ry
Besides, it has a hist'ry
The man who occupied
That building strangely died
No one wants to buy it, because
That house is
[Refrain:]
Haunted, haunted
Lanky, hanky, panky skeletons go sneakin' around
You see that boney, croney
I mean that boney skeleton
Hiding behind that statue
Look out, he's looking at you!
Listen! Listen!
Tell me can't you hear him whistling
That Mysterious Rag so noted
He wrote it
In that rickety haunted house
[2nd verse:]
I often have been told
That there's a bag of gold
In the house that's haunted
I'm poor, but I don't want it
The doors are open wide
But no one steps inside
No one needs the money, because
That house is

[Verse:]
How can I ever pay the debt I owe you
Mother o' mine, Mother o' mine
What is there I could ever do to show you
How much I love you
Mother o' mine
[Refrain:]
I kiss the hand, the wrinkled hand
That rocked my cradle in babyland
A mem'ry lingers of byegone years
When gentle fingers would dry my tears
Her face will ever be my guiding light
She'll whisper tenderly 'Turn to the right'
No harm can come to me by day or night
For the hand that rocked my cradle rules my heart
[2nd verse:]
Close to my side you stand what e'er betide me
Mother o' mine, Mother o' mine
How can I come to harm with you beside me
Ever to guide me
Mother o' mine

[Verse:]
When the shadows fall
And the crickets call
I can hear the voice of dreamland
Calling to me from afar
Where my little dreamgirls are
When the lights are low
Silently I go
To the girls I know in dreamland
Happiness awaits me in the land of dreams
For the girls I love are there
[Refrain:]
I'd love to meet
The girls of my dreams
They're all so sweet
The girls of my dreams
When I need sympathy
They cheer and comfort me
And I call my little girls
My string of pearls
My precious rosary
When day draws near
The girls of my dreams
All disappear
To heaven it seems
In the morning they are gone
But they're mine till break of dawn
And I love ev'ryone of the girls of my dreams

[Verse:]
Some fellows see the girl that they love in a dream
Some fellows see their love in a rippling stream
I saw the girl that I can't forget
On the cover of a police gazette
If I could find her, life would be peaches and cream
[Refrain:]
Oh, my search will never cease for the girl on the police gazette
For the pretty young brunette on the pink police gazette
And above my mantlepiece there's a page of the police gazette
With the pretty young brunette on the pink police gazette
I love to stop
At my fav'rite barber shop
Just to take another look at
The girl that I haven't met
And my longing will increase for the girl on the police gazette
For the pretty young brunette on the pink police gazette

[1st verse:]
My head's in a dizzy whirl
Since I met a certain girl
There isn't another like her
She's a matchless pearl
Since I met this maid divine
I do nothing else but pine
Because I know she never could be mine
[Refrain:]
The girl I love
Is on a magazine cover
It seems they painted her just for me
I'd fall in love
If I could ever discover
A little girl quite as nice as she
If I could meet
A girl as sweet
I'd simply claim her
And name her my queen
For if she ever came
I would love her the same
As I love her on the cover of a magazine
[2nd verse:]
My home is a picture book
If ever you came to look
You'd find her in ev'ry corner
And in ev'ry nook
She's fairer than all the queens
And loving her simply means
That I'm kept busy buying magazines

[Verse:]
Sunday is Sunday to my family
But Sunday is not simply Sunday for me
For Sunday's the one day when I love to see the funnies
Breakfast is nothing of which you can boast
But breakfast to me isn't coffee and toast
It's coffee and toast and what I love the most, the funnies
[Refrain:]
Oh, I love the funnies
I couldn't go without the funnies
A cup o' coffee to my lips and in between the sips
The papers with the capers that are in the comic strips
Which means I'm simply mad about
I mean I couldn't do without the funnies
Oh, in my pajamas
I love to read the 'Katzenjammers'
A little coffee in a cup and 'Bringing Father Up'
I'm dippy over 'Skippy' and his little yellow pup
Which means I'm simply mad about
I mean I couldn't do without the funnies
I'm not concerned with the news of the day
The stories of who murdered who
And for the columns what they have to say
I have no need of
I don't want to read of
The guys and all their honeys
The wealthy daughters or the sonnies
The news about the lovely trips that people take in ships
I'd rather read about the people in the comic strips
Which means I'm simply mad about
I mean I couldn't do without the funnies
[Alternate lines:]
And as for what Mister Hearst has to say
The Dempseys or the Tunneys

[1st verse:]
Hear the sound of shuffling feet
On the pavements of the street
Look up the Avenue
Hear that shout, tell me haven't you
Heard about the Friars coming into town
Ev'rybody come on down
[Refrain:]
Come and see the Friars
Here they come, here they come
See that mob go marching four in a row
On the job to give a wonderful show
Look at those live wires
In their dusters arrayed
Just hear that snappy rhythm
From the band
Come on and march right with 'em
Understand
You'll see the best show ever played
If you follow the Friars parade
[2nd verse:]
See those 'coppers' on the track
Holding ev'rybody back
They've stopped the trolley cars
To make room for a hundred stars
Like a broom they'll sweep the town of all dull care
Ev'rybody should be there

[Verse:]
This song is a train song, it's a song about a train
Not the Atchison, Topeka, not the Chattanooga Choo-Choo
Nor the one that leaves at midnight for the state of Alabam'
This song is a train song where the engineer is Uncle Sam
[Refrain:]
Here comes the Freedom Train
You better hurry down
Just like a Paul Revere
It's comin' into your home town
Inside the freedom train
You'll find a precious freight
Those words of liberty
The documents that made us great
You can shout your anger from a steeple
You can shoot the system full of holes
You can always question 'We the People'
You can get your answer at the polls
That's how it's always been
And how it will remain
So long as all of us
Keep riding on the Freedom Train
[2nd bridge:]
You can write the President a letter
You can even tell him to his face
If you think that you can do it better
Get the votes and you can take his place
[3rd bridge:]
You can hate the laws that you're obeying
You can shout your anger to the crowd
We may disagree with what you're saying
But we'll fight to let you say it loud

[Verse:]
She might have been a teacher
A job that she'd adore . . .
She might have been a housewife
A wife and nothing more
She might have been an actress
Who might have played Broadway
But my husband had to be President
And what am I today?
[1st refrain:]
I'm the first lady of the land
The first lady of the land
Standing on a receiving line
Winding up with an aching spine
Calluses on my receiving hand
As the first lady of the land
For every week a different hairdo
Which means another dress
Those meetings with committees
And sparring with the press
Those dreary formal dinners,
When I stay up till dawn
Counting all the silver
When the guests have gone
When they march out in single file
And I must smile, smile, smile
I'd rather be the second
Or the third or the fourth
Or the fifth or the sixth
Or the seventh instead of the first lady of the land
[2nd refrain:]
I'm the first lady of the land
The first lady of the land
Entertaining at lunch or tea
Do do-gooders who call on me
Telling of their noble deeds they've planned
For the first lady of the land
And oh the presents that they send me
An awful lot of junk
An un-housebroken poodle
A dehydrated skunk
A turkey for Thanksgiving
Potatas in a sack
But when they send me a diamond
I must send it back
When the whole cabinet arrives
And bring their wives, wives, wives
I'd rather be the second
Or the third or the fourth
Or the fifth or the sixth
Or the seventh instead of the first lady of the land

[1st verse:]
Ev'ryone's hollering 'Me oh my
We're in a terrible hole'
Ev'ryone's hollering 'Tell us why
There is a shortage of coal'
I've got the whole thing figured out
Really it isn't so bad
I know the cause without a doubt
Why there's no coal to be had
[1st refrain:]
The devil has bought up all the coal
He's going to save it I swear
Until the Kaiser gets there
He needs to make it warm for Mister William
The devil has spent his little roll
For all the coal from ev'rywhere
He's piling it up by the ton
And, oh, what he'll do to that Hun
There'll be a hot time in Hades
When the Kaiser gets there
[2nd verse:]
Satan is freezing 'way down below
He feels a terrible chill
Still he won't use up his coal, oh no
Satan is waiting for Bill
If he can stand it then why can't we?
Tell all the grumblers to pause
Although we freeze, let's shout with glee
'It's for a wonderful cause'
[2nd refrain:]
The devil has bought up all the coal
He's going to save it I swear
Until the Kaiser gets there
He needs to make it warm for Mister William
I'd give Mister Rockefeller's roll
To see the Kaiser I declare
And whisper in his little ear
You don't know the half of it, dear
There'll be a hot time in Hades
When the Kaiser gets there

[Verse:]
I've seen many diff'rent pictures
Of the devil down below
And he doesn't stand a show
With a certain devil I know
Let me introduce you to him
You'll be happy when I do
He's a devil dressed in blue
And a soldier through and through
[Refrain:]
High up in the Alpine Mountains
Are the Blue Devils
Where the rain of shrapnel fountains
Scar the Blue Devils
With their glistening sabers
Amid the shot and shell
They visit their Austrian neighbors
And give them H-E-double-L
H-E-double-L
Strong and active, most attractive
Are the Blue Devils
They came here the Liberty Loan to advance
We entertained them with the best
And now they've gone back to the trenches to rest
Those Devils, the Blue Devils of France

The best things happen while you're dancing
Things that you would not do at home come nat'rally on the floor
For dancing soon becomes romancing
When you hold a girl in your arms that you've never held before
Even guys with two left feet
Come out all right if the girl is sweet
If by chance their cheeks should meet
While dancing
Proving that the best things happen while you dance

[Verse:]
Please let me say from the start
I don't pretend to be smart
I just suggest what I think best
Having your int'rest at heart
[Refrain:]
I only want what's the best thing for you
And the best thing for you would be me
I've been convinced after thinking it through
That the best thing for you would be me
Ev'ry day
To myself I say
Point the way
What will it be
I ask myself what's the best thing for you
And myself and I seem to agree
That the best thing for you would be me

[1st verse:]
What's that you say?
No work today?
Done lost your job?
Where is your pay?
Been shooting dice?
That's very nice
Needn't apologize, I'm cold as ice
Pack up your clothes
Lord only knows
You've been the cause of my troubles and woes
Don't ask me why
Too late to cry
Just bid yourself goodbye
[Refrain:]
A friend in need is a friend indeed
That's just the kind of friend I've been to you
When poverty smiled down on thee
I hung around and stuck like glue
It's a long long lane that has no turn
You can never tell your finish when you start
But when you find you can't make both ends meet
Then the best of friends must part
[2nd verse:]
Don't talk of love
Just like a dove
Can't eat the stars
That shine above
That stuff don't go
You'd better blow
Can't buy a meal with that lovin' you know
I know it's hard
On your old pard
But I can't help that you played your last card
Don't hesitate
Evaporate
Hunt up another mate

[Verse:]
To look at me you wouldn't think
That I was once a skinny gink
That doctors thought I would never last
I thought I had so many ills
And I was always taking pills
But that is all a thing of the past
[Refrain:]
The Army's made a man out of me
A man out of me, a man out of me
My mother and my father agree
The Army has made me a man
I used to sleep with brother, but now I sleep alone
I used to be a tenor, but now I'm a baritone
My girl said when she sat on my knee
The Army has made me a man

[1st verse:]
It doesn't take a lot to make me happy
I'm easily satisfied
I never cared for grand affairs
Where ev'rybody puts on airs
I wouldn't pay a lot to own a mansion
It wouldn't be worth the price
Come and hear of my idea of Paradise
[Refrain:]
A little moonlight upon a June night
A little bench beneath a tree
One little squeeze of the hand
A squeeze in return, meaning, I understand
A sigh of 'Oh sir, come over closer'
A little kissing, oh, so nice
And then a goodbye, dear
That's my idea of Paradise
[2nd verse:]
I never doubted anyone who told me
That Heaven is up above
Still, I would wager all I'm worth
That there's a Heaven here on earth
The gates of Paradise are ever open
Just listen to my advice
Any lover can discover Paradise

The German troops heard Hitler shout
'We'll win this war without a doubt'
But they were never told about
That Russian winter
The German troops heard Hitler swear
He huffed and puffed and tore his hair
But somehow Hitler couldn't scare
That Russian winter
There was the German staff
Running from the storm
Poor Hitler's photograph
Couldn't keep them warm
When Hitler cried, 'This cannot be!'
Napolean spoke beneath a tree
That Frenchman yelled, 'You're telling me!'
That Russian winter

[1st verse:]
Where the Russian breezes blow
There's a piece of calico
Ev'ry thread dyed in red
You can see it on a pole
Or in Trotsky's buttonhole
Long haired Russian foxes
Wave it from old soapboxes
[Refrain:]
That revolutionary rag
'Twas made across the sea
By a tricky, slicky Bolsheviki
Run with your little money bag
Or else they'll steal it away, wheel it away
As they go raving, madly waving
That revolutionary rag
It's not a melody
It's a crimson flag
All the Royalties across the seas
Shake in their B.V.D.s
When they see that revolutionary rag
[2nd verse:]
Little Mary Antoinette
Was a lovely queen you bet
Till one day, sad to say
From her window she could see
Little Miss Democracy
Mary's brain was whirling
When France began unfurling
[alternate lines in 2nd REFRAIN:]
All the Kings and Queens in foreign scenes
Know that they've spilled the beans
When they see that revolutionary rag

[1st verse:]
Sam Johnson was op'ra mad
He sho' had the fever bad
He said, 'Those ordinary ragtime tunes are mild
Some music from Verdi's hand
Or any old op'ra grand
Would never fail to set this op'ra darkie wild'
One evening at a ball
They heard Sam Johnson call
Unto the leaderman to play some 'William Tell'
The leader swelled his chest and said, 'I'll do my best'
So when he played they heard Sam Johnson yell
[Refrain:]
Hear dat strain
Mister Verdi come to life again
Oh that operatic sweet refrain
Sho' would drive a crazy man insane
Just let me die and meet those brainy men
Who manufactured notes of opera grand
Oh! Verdi where, where oh art thou?
Let me shake you by the hand, man, you know what's grand
Good Lord, it's over, they're playin' 'Home Sweet Home'
[2nd verse:]
Old Sam was a painter man
One day with a brush in hand
He stood upon a scaffold 'way up in the air
A German band below
Was playin' some 'Rig'letto'
Sam said, 'I know that's op'ra, be it here or there'
While he daubed up the wall
He tried hard not to fall
But in the street the band kept right on playin' fair
They played some 'Faust' below, just then old Sam let go
He tumbled down below a-shouting in the air

[1st verse:]
Did you hear it? Were you near it?
If you weren't then you've yet to fear it
Once you've met it you'll regret it
Just because you never will forget it
If you ever wake up from your dreaming
A-scheming, eyes gleaming
Then if suddenly you take a screaming fit
That's it!
[Refrain:]
That mysterious ra-ag
While awake or while you're a-slumbering
You're saying, keep playing
That mysterious dra-ag
Are you listenin'?
Are you listenin'?
Look! Look!
You're whistlin'
That mysterious ra-ag
Sneaky, freaky ever melodious, mysterious rag
[2nd verse:]
Any minute they begin it
E'er you know what you're about, you're in it
Then a feeling, most appealing
Comes a-stealing, sets your brain a-reeling
When it's too late and ev'ryone is yawning
Good morning, day dawning
Then if suddenly you hear a warning shout
Look out!

[1st verse:]
Down in a sunny jungle town
Where the monkeys run around
Lived a crazy little monkey who loved to sing
A chimpanzee in a cocoanutty tree
Heard his nutty melody, she
Fell in love with his singing
From the branches a-clinging
She'd pitch her voice in a monkey key
And yell with all her might
[Refrain:]
Sing that monkey tune
You monkey loon
Don't dare to stop, hurry up, hurry up
I want to hear that strain so queer
Because I'm crazy about that monkey tune
[2nd verse:]
She kept a-shouting from the tree
For his nutty melody
Till the crazy little monkey looked up and said
'I want to spoon 'neath the monkey honey moon
To the nutty wedding tune, soon'
Mister and Missus Monkey
Pitched their voices in one key
And now they can't get a wink of sleep
The baby yells all night

[1st verse:]
Honey, listen to that dreamy tune they're playin'
Won't you tell me how on earth you keep from swayin'?
Umm! Umm! Oh, that Mendelssohn Spring Song tune
If you ever loved me show me now or never
Lord, I wish they'd play that music on forever
Umm! Umm! Oh, that Mendelssohn tune
My honey
[Refrain:]
Love me to that ever lovin' Spring Song melody
Please me, honey, squeeze me to that Mendelssohn strain
Kiss me like you would your mother
One good kiss deserves another
That's the only music that was ever meant for me
That tantalizin', hypnotizin', mesmerizin' Mendelssohn tune
[2nd verse:]
Don't you stand there, honey, can't you hear me sighin'?
Is you gwine to wait until I'm almost dyin'?
Umm! Umm! Oh, that Mendelssohn Spring Song tune
Get yourself acquainted with some real live wooin'
Make some funny noises like there's something doin'
Umm! Umm! Oh, that Mendelssohn tune
My honey

[1st verse:]
Abie darling dear, can't you hear very clear
They're playing that Kazzatsky dance
Cohen with his hand leads the band
Ain't it grand
I tell you Abie take a chance
Take me by the wrist with your fist, make a twist
Or else I'll go right in a trance
Come and give your baby just one glance
And we'll do that Yiddisher dance
[Refrain:]
Oi, that Kazzatsky dance
It makes me lose my sense
Come and get handy, it's dandy, dandy
Kiss me Kid, I'm candy
Oi, that Kazzatsky dance
I'm going in a trance
I love my ham and cabbage kid
But Oi, that Yiddisher
That Yiddisher
Oi, that Kazzatsky dance
[2nd verse:]
Abie hurry up, take your time, hurry up
I want to dance fast, please go slow
Darling run away, better stay, while they play
Because I hate you, love you so
Look at what you did, oh you kid in the lid
I'm going crazy like a loon
Make some spooning with a silver spoon
While they play that Yiddisha tune

[1st verse:]
Underneath the sad Hawaiian moon
Where the sad Hawaiians love to spoon
While the Ukeleles strum a tune
Ev'ry evening you can see them doing
[Refrain:]
That Hula Hula
Have you seen them do the Hula
In Honolula
The way they do?
I know if you knew
How to do the Hula Hula
You'd be in Honolula
Doing the Hula, too
[2nd verse:]
I can teach you how to do the dance
Tell me, would you like to take a chance?
Shake your hands, quietly advance
In another minute you'll be doing

[1st verse:]
Honey, I'm sinkin' fast
Soon I will breathe my last
Fever is very high
Doctor said I will die
'Fore I take my long, long rest
Grant me, dear, one request
'Member that afternoon
We heard that dreamy tune
When you remarked to me
Who wrote that melody
That's the air I want to share before I die
[Refrain:]
Honey dear, I must be going I fear
I feel the finish is near
Please bring your cello in here
While I see just play the sweet melody
And honey, call it for me
'That Dying Rag'
[2nd verse:]
Honey, don't hesitate
Soon it will be too late
Heavenly gates I see
St. Peter's calling me
Thank the Lord I'm gwine to go
Up above, not below
Right on my tombstone, dear
Put this inscription clear
'Buried without disgrace
Died with a smiling face'
Honey say I passed away without a care

[1st verse:]
Crowded thoroughfare, people here and there
Dashing up the Avenue
Maiden young and shy, quickly passing by
Something comes in contact with her shoe
Someone's fallen down, slipped upon the ground
It happens on a slipp'ry street
Kind young gent who saw the accident
Helps the charming lady to her feet
[Refrain:]
'Thank you, kind sir,' said she
'Welcome, sweet Miss,' said he
'May I not escort you home?'
'You may not, I'll go alone
I've a husband,' said she
'And I've a wife, Miss,' said he
'You needn't call me up,' said she
'My phone is one, two, three'
'Thank you,' said he
[2nd verse:]
Scene, a near cafe, couple chatting gay
Same young maiden shy and sweet
On the he-male end sits her fellow friend
Same young man who helped her to her feet
Maiden softly speaks, 'I've been sad for weeks
My darling husband failed last year
I'm in debt right up to here, you bet'
Fellow whispers something in her ear
[2nd refrain:]
'Thank you, kind sir,' said she
'Welcome, sweet Miss,' said he
'May I not escort you home?
I would hate to go alone'
'I live here, sir,' said she
'And so do I, Miss,' said he
'Don't dare to call me,' said she
'I'm always in at three'
'Thank you,' said he

[1st verse:]
Moon was slyly peeping from above
On a summer's night
Sally Brown and Joe were making love
'Neath the pale moonlight
Sally said, 'I think I'd better go'
As she rolled her eyes
But foxy little Joe
Said, 'There's a game I know
Called telling lies'
[Refrain:]
Telling lies
Telling lies
Say you never want to be
Near to me
Dear to me
Telling lies, close your eyes
Then a kiss or two
I'll steal and give them back to you
While telling lies
[2nd verse:]
Little Sally Brown and Joe were wed
She became his bride
'I will never marry you,' she said
Then the knot was tied
Ev'ry morn he kisses her goodbye
Leaves her all alone
But 'fore he goes away
These words he'll always say,
'I won't come home'

[Verse:]
Deep down in my heart there's a burning question
Maybe you can answer it, Gyp-sy Maid
Have I searched in vain for that little blue bird?
Tell me how much longer 'twill be delayed
Will my dreams come true? Tell me my fortune, do.
[Refrain:]
Tell me, little Gypsy
What the future holds for me
Kindly cross my palm with silver
And I'll try and see
Tell me is there some-one
In the days that are to be
There's a girl for ev'ry boy in the world
There must be someone for me

[1st verse:]
[Girl:]
I had a diff'rent teacher ev'ry year
They taught me ev'rything and yet I fear
My education's been neglected, dear
They never taught me to love
[Boy:]
I don't know that much about Geography
Grammar, Arithmetic or History
But I know ev'rything about love from A to Z
[Refrain:]
[Girl:] Teach me how to love, I'd like to know, sir
[Boy:] If you want to love, come over closer
[Girl:] Do you know the game, dear?
[Boy:] That's my middle name, dear
[Girl:] Call me turtle dove, I'd like to hear it
[Boy:] It will fit you like a glove
[Girl:] I'd like to know a teeny weeny bit about it
[Boy:] I could explain it to you, if your lips were pouted
[ENSEMBLE:] Look at 'em doin' it!
[Boy:] Hold steady!
[ENSEMBLE:] Look at 'em doin' it!
[Girl:] Oh, oh, it's very good, Eddy
Won't you teach me some more?
[2nd verse:]
[Girl:] How many lessons do you think I'll need?
[Boy:] Not many lessons if you'll only heed
[Girl:] You know a lot about it, yes, indeed
[Boy:] I've taken lessons for years
[Girl:] I'd like to understand it through and through
[Boy:] Practice makes perfect, so it's up to you
[Girl:] I'm waiting
[Boy:] 'Twon't be long before you're a teacher, too

[1st verse:]
The girls are over-dressing
It keeps the fellows guessing
I've heard them say the gowns today
Are really most distressing
Your ankle is detested
If you have over-dressed it
A man must see an inch or three
To keep him interested
An ankle now and then
Will catch the best of men
[Refrain:]
So take off a little bit
A tiny little bit and nothing more
Just raise your dress up a little bit
Don't let it drag along the floor
Because a banker, a broker, a lawyer, a sport
They always look longer when dresses are short
So take off a little bit
If you don't make a 'hit'
Take off a little bit more
[2nd verse:]
You'll be the main attraction
And put the boys in action
They'll linger nigh, you'll catch them by
Removing just a fraction
The chicken pickin' jury
Will go into a fury
If they can't see an inch or three
They all come from Missouri
'Twas said by someone wise
'It pays to advertise'

Take me with you, soldier boy
Take me when you start
I won't take up too much space in your heart
I'll be with you, soldier boy
With you day and night
And I promise not to get in your way
I know there's a job to do but, somehow, you will find
A soldier does a better job with a girl on his mind
Let me be your lucky charm when you cross the sea
Someday, I'll return you safely to me

[Verse:]
Hey, there, you
You're on the top shelf
Your skies are blue
Pleased with yourself
Well, don't you get too cocky
The road is rocky
A-way up there
Life is sweet
Rosy and round
But keep your feet
Close to the ground
The weather won't be always fair
[Refrain:]
There'll be ups and there'll be downs
There'll be smiles and there'll be frowns
There'll be hopes and there'll be doubts, ins and outs
But whatever the fates decide
Take it in your stride
There'll be rain and there'll be sun
You'll have all and you'll have none
Hitch your wagon to a star, travel far
But you're in for a bumpy ride
Take it in your stride
There'll be friends both new and old
They'll blow hot and they'll blow cold
You'll be cheered and you'll be hissed, kicked and kissed
But whatever the fates decide
Take it in your stride
Don't get too big for your crown
What goes up may soon come down
Someone's waiting down below, set to go
Coming in on the rising tide
Take it in your stride

[1st verse:]
Listen to me, listen to me
I've got a whole lot to say
Listen to me, listen to me
Things have been coming my way
I met somebody
That's why I'm so happy today
Listen to me, listen to me
I want to holler and shout
Wait'll you see, wait'll you see
Wait'll you see me step out
With a load of charm
On my arm
Well worth raving about
[Refrain:]
Sweeter than sugar is my Sweetie
Sweeter than honey or jam
So sweet is she that when she kisses me
I don't put sugar in my coffee or tea
Candy, molasses or sweet cookie
Sweeter than all of the three
I would have that sweet little soul
Living in a sugar bowl
Sweeter than sugar is my Sweetie
Sweet as a sweetie could be
[2nd verse:]
Listen to me, listen to me
She's such a sweet little pet
Listen to me, listen to me
Right from the moment we met
My sweet tooth pained me
It hasn't stopped hurting me yet
Way out of town, way out of town
We'll spend the rest of our days
We'll settle down, we'll settle down
Just like a couple of Jays
We'll start raising Cain
Sugar cane
That's not all we'll raise

[1st verse:]
Lissa to the sweet-a rag-a time
Ain't it nunga make you feel-a fine?
Ev'rybody dance, sleep-a like-a trance
Keep-a steady, get-a ready
One, two three Kid!
What's-a matta you no look-a wise?
Get-a busy, make-a goo goo eyes
Nunga make-a fake, just-a shake-a shake
Make-a jealous for the other guys
[Refrain:]
Sweet Marie
Make-a rag-a-time-a dance wid me?
Take a steam-a boat to Italy
On the rag-a line
Hey you wop-a, nunga stop-a
Kiss-a Tony, call 'em pop-a
One, two, three
I'm-a feel-a like-a 'Hully Gee'
Come dance rag time wid me
Oh, my sweet-a Marie
[2nd verse:]
What's-a matta you no wanna dance?
Nunga feel afraid to take a chance
Ev'rybody look, shout-a, 'Get da hook!'
I'm-a sad-a feel-a bad-a
Shake you'self Kid!
If you love-a Tony nice-a fine
Make-a noise-a like-a rag-a time
Hurry up-a quick, nunga take a week
If you nunga wanna never mind

[1st verse:]
Ev'ryone talk-a how they make-a da love
Call-a da sweet-a name-a like-a da dove
It makes me sick-a when they start in to speak-a
'Bout the moon 'way up above
What's-a da use to have-a big-a da moon?
What's-a da use to call-a dove?
If he no like-a she, and she no like-a he
The moon can't make them love
[Refrain:]
Sweet Italian love
Nice Italian love
You don't need the moon-a-light your love to tell her
In da house or on da roof or in da cellar
Dat's Italian love
Sweet Italian love
When you kiss-a your pet
And it's-a like-a spagett
Dat's Italian love!
[2nd verse:]
Ev'ryone say they like da moon-a da light
There's one-a man up in da moon all-a right
But he no tell-a that some other nice feller
Was-a kiss your gal last night
Maybe you give your gal da wedding-a ring
Maybe you marry, like-a me
Maybe you love your wife, maybe for all your life
But dat's only maybe
[2nd refrain:]
Sweet Italian love
Nice Italian love
When you squeeze your gal and she no say 'Please stop-a!'
When you got dat twenty kids what call you 'Papa!'
Dat's Italian love
Sweet Italian love
When you kiss one-a time
And it's-a feel like-a nine
Dat's Italian love!

[Verse:]
The Benevolent Orders of the Flat-Footed Waiters
Gave their annual ball
With the price of admission only one half a dollar
They just crowded the hall
Flat-footing around
They suddenly found
An original movement that they call the Swanee Shuffle
It's for you and for all
[Refrain:]
Learn to do the Swanee Shuffle
Nothing to the Swanee Shuffle
Against the beat, you make your feet
Swanee Shuffle along
If they're flat just make them flatter
Like a pancake on a platter
I'm telling you, it's easy to
Swanee Shuffle along
Just imitate the way a waiter
Walks with a plate of chow
You needn't wait to do it later
Why not now? I'll show you how
Come with me where Dixie marches
Marches on its fallen arches
And see them Swanee Shuffle along

Supper time
I should set the table
’cause it’s supper time
Somehow I’m not able
’cause that man o’mine
Ain’t comin’ home no more
Supper time
Kids will soon be yellin’
For their supper time
How’ll I keep from tellin’
Them that man o’mine
Ain’t comin’ home no more?
How’ll I keep explainin’ when they ask me where he’s gone?
How’ll I keep from cryin’ when I bring their supper on?
How can I remind them to pray at their humble board?
How can I be thankful when they start to thank the lord
Lord!
Supper time
I should set the table
’cause it’s supper time
Somehow I’m not able
’cause that man o’mine
Ain’t comin’ home no more

(Vincent Bryan, Irving Berlin and Ted Snyder)
[1st verse:]
Love, never dying, love, ever sighing
Love, undenying love
Love, ever yearning, love, ever burning
Sweet fire from above
Love's mighty flame to my lonely heart came
'Tis a flame that will burn there forever evermore
Heaven above never knew greater love
Than the dear Spanish love I adore
[Refrain:]
Spanish love
Love that burns while it's chilling me
Thro' and thro' it is thrilling me
I would die for you willingly
Spanish love
With it's fire is instilling me
Flames of passion are filling me
Burning love that is killing me
[2nd verse:]
Dear one that I love, you shall be my love
Through all eternity
Time cannot change me, naught can estrange me
My king you'll ever be
Make me your own, let my heart be your throne
You will reign there alone, dear, forever and for aye
While time endures all my soul shall be yours
As I bow to your love's mighty sway

[1st verse:]
Honey, there's something buzzin' 'round my heart
Something that must be satisfied
My dearie
See that Morris chair
Standing over there
There's some room to spare
Now for some love prepare
Make yourself comf'table before we start
Tie yourself right up to my side
Sing me that lovin' song that goes something like
Ummm, umm, umm, umm
[Refrain:]
Cuddle and squeeze me honey
Lead me right to Cupid's door
Take me out upon that ocean called the 'Lovable Sea'
Fry each kiss in honey, then present it to me
Cuddle and please me honey
Anchor at that kissing shore
My honey, stop, stop, stop, stop, don't dare to stop
Come over and love me some more
[2nd verse:]
Hon' did I hear you say you're going home?
Just 'cause the clock is striking nine
My dearie
That clock at its best
Is an hour fast
Eight o'clock just past
Stay, let the party last
Surely you wouldn't leave me all alone
Just for to satisfy the time
Sing me that lovin' song that goes something like
Ummm, umm, umm, umm

[1st verse:]
Love will make a fool of any man, it has been said
No one can advise him, for his heart will rule his head
He names the wedding day, just throws himself away
Before the wedding all his friends will come to him and say
[1st refrain:]
Stop! Look! Listen to a friend's advice
Better look before you leap
Or you'll be in water deep
For God's sake don't get married, don't give up your name
Then he'll stop, look, listen to his friend's advice
But he'll go out and marry just the same
[2nd verse:]
Mister Brown, a widower, was handing out advice
To his son who fell in love with someone very nice
He whispered to the lad, 'To marry would be bad
I know just what I'm saying, take a tip from your old Dad
[2nd refrain:]
Stop! Look! Listen to a Dad's advice
She's a nice girl, that is true
But she'll never do for you
So tie a can to Cupid, lay him on the shelf'
Then he stopped, looked, listened to his Dad's advice
While his Dad went out and married her himself
[3rd verse:]
There's a railroad on Long Island not so far away
Accidents occur there almost ev'ry other day
The man who owns the line has said, 'The fault's not mine
Because at ev'ry railroad crossing you will find this sign
[3rd refrain:]
Stop! Look! Listen! Always safety first'
If there were no such display
You would pass along your way
But they insist you linger by the railroad track
So you stop, look, listen, then you hear a crash
And the next day your fam'ly's dressed in black
[Alternate line:]
But they want you to linger by the railroad track

[1st verse:]
Do my ears deceive me or am I goin' mad?
Honey, please believe me, that my hearin' ain't bad
But something seems to tell me that I'm list'nin' to Rag
I've been suspectin' so all night
Tunes I've heard befo' was only music what ain't
Melody like this is what an artist can't paint
Go get me some ammonia 'cause I fear I must faint
I'm suffocating with delight
[Refrain:]
Stop dat rag, keep on playin', honey
Stop dat rag, hear me prayin', honey
Run away, I feel that I must be alone
But don't you dare to leave me, 'till the cows come home
Cease dat strain, please repeat it, honey
Once again, and I'll meet it, honey
Oh, I'm sad
No, I'm glad
Stop dat rag, I'm sayin'
I mean keep on playin'
Don't you dare to stop dat rag
[2nd verse:]
Call in some physician, 'cause I feel that I'm ill
Somehow or another, hon', my feet won't keep still
Please request that leaderman to keep a-playin' till
I cry enough, enough some more
Hon, I'll never forgive you, just for takin' me here
Take me miles and miles away from here anywhere
Just raise a hand to move me, mister man, if you dare
I'm satisfied to die right now

[1st verse:]
Down below
Down Below
Sat the devil talking to his son
Who wanted to go
Up above
Up above
He cried, 'It's getting too warm for me down here and so
I'm going up on Earth where I can have a little fun
The Devil simply shook his head and answered his son
[Refrain:]
Stay down here where you belong
The folks who live above you don't know right from wrong
To please their kings they've all gone out to war
And not a one of them knows what he's fighting for
'Way up above they say that I'm a Devil and I'm bad
Kings up there are bigger devils than your dad
They're breaking the hearts of mothers
Making butchers out of brothers
You'll find more hell up there than there is down below
[2nd verse:]
'Kings up there
They don't care
For the mothers who must stay at home
Their sorrows to bear
Stay at home
Don't you roam
Although it's warm down below, you'll find it's warmer up there
If e'er you went up there, my son, I know you'd be surprised
You'd find a lot of people are not civilized'

[Verse:]
Freedom, freedom
That's my song for today
Listen to this American troubador from the U.S.A.
[Refrain:]
I'm singing a song of freedom
For all people who cry out to be free
Free to sail the seven seas
Free to worship as we please
If the birds up in the trees can be free
Why can't we?
I'm bringing a song of freedom
To all people wherever they may be
Free to speak and free to hear
Free from want and free from fear
Sons of freedom far and near who agree, sing with me
That all God's children shall be free
[As sung in film:]
[Verse:]
-Freedom! Freedom!
-Here comes the Freedom Man
On this day of independence
On this Independence Day
Listen to an American troubador from the U.S.A.
[Refrain:]
I'm singing a song of freedom
For all people who cry out to be free
Free to sail the seven seas
Free to worship as we please
If the birds up in the trees can be free
Why can't we?
I'm bringing a song of freedom
To all people wherever they may be
Free to speak and free to hear
Free from want and free from fear
Sons of freedom far and near who agree, sing with me
That all God's people shall be free

[Verse:]
An old hand at giving parties
And I've learned an awful lot
The best reason for a party
And what keeps it boiling hot
An occasion when you've got
[Refrain:]
Something to dance about
Someone to dance it with
Something to dance it to
To a fox-trot or a waltz
Put on your dancing shoes
Here comes some happy news
Break up in twos and twos
To a fox-trot or a waltz
You and someone have parted
And your lonely heart yearns
While you're there broken hearted
Suddenly he returns
That's something to dance about
With someone to dance it with
Pick something to dance it to
To a fox-trot or a waltz
To a Charleston or a waltz
To a Tango or a waltz
[Blues tempo:]
Dance to the blues
Something to dance about
Someone to dance it with
Something to dance it to Blues
[Rhumba tempo:]
Dance it to a rhumba
[Coda:]
To a fox-trot, Charleston, Tango or a waltz
Ooh-ah, ooh-ah

[1st verse:]
Henpeck O'Johnson and Henpeck O'Day
Made an appointment with Molly and May
Soon they were calling their wives on the phone
'Don't cook my supper for I won't be home'
Then in a 'Taxi' to some swell Cafe
They rode away to meet Molly and May
Waited and waited, grew intoxicated
O'Johnson then sang to O'Day
[Refrain:]
Someone's waiting for me
Someone's waiting for you
I'm waiting and you're waiting and wifey's waiting too
Are we down-hearted? No!
We have plenty of dough
WHAT! Go home to wifey?
Well, not on your lifey
We'll wait
Wait
Wait
[2nd verse:]
While they were waiting, a waiter named Binks
Waited for tips while they waited for drinks
Manhattan Cocktails and Highballs galore
Three extra waiters were put on the floor
Music was playing 'I'm coming home soon'
O'Day was praying for some other tune
Hours were flying, still they kept on buying
O'Johnson was crying again
[3rd verse:]
Missus O'Johnson and Missus O'Day
Happened to stroll in the same swell Cafe
They had grown tired of waiting at home
Went out and left both their flats all alone
Soon from a corner a voice hollered loud
'Give us another and treat the whole crowd'
Just then somebody broke up the whole party
'Twas Molly and sweet little May

[1st verse:]
Same old moon, same old stars above
Same old couple pining, same old tale of love
Same game, still we must explain
The old, old story must be told
Now to get to their names, we'll call the fellow Joe
We could call him Harry, but Joe rhymes with Flo
Flo, Joe, now their names we know
We'll have them say
[Refrain:]
Someone just like you, dear
Just like you will do, dear
When I tell you true, dear
Can't you see?
Just your style, your size, dear
Just your smile, your eyes, dear
Someone just like you was meant for
Someone just like me
[2nd verse:]
Same old couple tarried, same old coming spring
Same old couple married, same old wedding ring
Flo, Joe, on thro' life they go
In clover, now the story's over
Ev'ry song and story has a happy two
Couldn't do without them, 'twould be something new
Same tale, never known to fail
When someone sighs

[1st verse:]
I left my darling
The other day
We started quarr'ling
I went away
But now I wish that I was back
I love my baby
Indeed I do
And who knows maybe
She loves me too
But that's just maybe
And that won't do
[Refrain:]
All that worries me
Is someone else may be there while I'm gone
In my dreams I see
A couple spooning on the lawn
That very thought
Just keeps me worried
I lay awake till the break of dawn
I must hurry back
'Cause someone else may be there while I'm gone
[2nd verse:]
I'm wild about her
That's why I'm blue
I hate to doubt her
The way I do
I may be wrong, I may be right
Altho' I worry
An awful lot
If I should hurry
Back to the spot
She may be waiting
She may be not

[1st verse:]
I've met lots of girlies who were just my style
Girls whose charms most any boy would share
Girls who captivate you with their roguish smile
Girls you think beyond compare
When I saw the lovelight in your eyes, sweetheart
When you smiled on me so tenderly
Mischief making Cupid pierced me with his dart
Something told me you were meant for me
[Refrain:]
Some little something about you
Some little something, dear
Means I can't live without you
I always want you near
Some hidden charm makes me love you
Something I cannot see
And I know one thing, some little something
Means you're the girl for me
[2nd verse:]
Oft' I've wondered if another boy like me
Thinks there's something sweet about you too
I'll admit it's made me jealous as could be
That's because I love you true
Then again, I thought of what the poets say
'Faint heart never won a lady fair'
So I don't intend to wait another day
There's a cozy home that we can share

[As sung in film (more or less):]
Snow, it won't be long before we'll all be there with snow
Snow, I want to wash my hands, my face and hair with snow
Snow, I long to clear a path and lift a spade of snow
Snow, oh, to see a great big man entirely made of snow
Where it's snowing
All winter through
That's where I want to be
Snowball throwing
That's what I'll do
How I'm longing to ski
Through the
Snow, those glist'ning houses that seem to be built of snow
Snow, oh, to see a mountain covered with a quilt of snow
What is Christmas with no snow
No white Christmas with no snow
Snow
I'll soon be there with snow
I'll wash my hair with snow
And with a spade of snow
I'll build a man that's made of snow
I'd love to stay up with you but I recommend a little shuteye
Go to sleep
And dream
Of snow, snow, snow, snow, snow

[1st verse:]
Little girlie, you look sad
I'm afraid you're feeling bad
Because he's leaving
But stop your grieving, little girl
He don't want you to feel blue
For it's not the thing to do
It will soon be over
Then he'll come marching back to you
[Refrain:]
Smile and show your dimple
You'll find it's very simple
You can think of something comical
In a very little while
Chase away the wrinkle
Sprinkle just a twinkle
Light your face up
Just brace up and smile
[2nd verse:]
Little girlie, don't you know
That your pearly teeth will show
If you start smiling
So keep on smiling, little girl
You can cut your cares in half
If you only try to laugh
Look into my cam'ra
I'm goin' to take your photograph

[Written for 1954 film White Christmas but not used:]
Sittin' in the sun, countin' my money
Fanned by a summer breeze
Sweeter than honey is countin' my money
Those greenbacks on the trees
Comes a summer show'r, drops o' rain falling
Sweeter than Christmas chimes
Hearing those jingles upon the roof shingles
Like pennies, nickels and dimes
Tho' it's known that all I own is not a large amount
Fields of gold that I behold are in my bank account
Sittin' in the sun, countin' my money
Happy as I can be
And to top it all
When shadows fall
I look to heaven and I see
There's a silver dollar in the sky
Shining down on me

[As sung in film:]
Sisters, sisters, there were never such devoted sisters
- Never had to have a chaperone, 'No sir'
- I'm here to keep my eye on her
Caring, sharing ev'ry little thing that we are wearing
- When a certain gentleman arrived from Rome
- She wore the dress and I stayed home
All kinds of weather, we stick together, the same in the rain or sun
Two diff'rent faces, but in tight places, we think and we act as one
Uh huh
Those who've seen us know that not a thing could come between us
Many men have tried to split us up, but no one can
Lord help the mister who comes between me and my sister
And Lord help the sister who comes between me and my man
Sisters
Sisters
Sister, don't come between me and my man
[Male version, not in film:]
Brothers, brothers, there were never such devoted brothers
When there comes a glamor girl who's nice and trim
He watches me and I watch him
Caring, sharing, ev'ry little thing that we are wearing
When a certain signorina came from Rome
He wore the blue serge, I stayed home
All kinds of weather, we stick together, the same in the rain or sun
Two diff'rent faces, but in tight places, we think and we act as one
Those who've seen us know that not a thing could come between us
Many girls have tried to split us up, but no one shall
Lord help another who comes between me and my brother
And Lord help the brother who comes between me and my gal
[Sheet music version:]
Sisters, sisters, there were never such devoted sisters
Never had to have a chaperone, 'No sir'
I'm there to keep my eye on her
Caring, sharing ev'ry little thing that we are wearing
When a certain gentleman arrived from Rome
She wore the dress and I stayed home
All kinds of weather, we stick together, the same in the rain or sun
Two diff'rent faces, but in tight places, we think and we act as one
Those who've seen us know that not a thing could come between us
Many men have tried to split us up, but no one can
Lord help the mister who comes between me and my sister
And Lord help the sister who comes between me and my man

[1st verse:]
'What's the matter? What's the matter?' shouted Farmer Brown
As he saw a crowd of people rushing thro' the town
'Is the town on fire or has someone met their death?'
One old Rube looked up at him and cried all out of breath
[1st refrain:]
Si's been drinking cider and he's acting like a fool
Take his wife and hide her for he's liable to treat her cru'l
He's acting mighty gay, he gave his Ingersoll away
Oh! oh! oh! oh! What will the neighbors say?
He told a naughty story to the Parson in the hall
Parson knew the answer so he didn't laugh at all
The constable and sheriff have locked him in the barn
But Si's been drinking cider
So he don't give a good gosh darn
[2nd verse:]
Hiram Perkins heard the news and my but he was vexed
Mumbled to himself 'I wonder what will happen next?'
Told his wife that right before she rang the dinner bell
'No use talking, Mary Jane, the country's gone to hell'
[2nd refrain:]
Si's been drinking cider and he's acting like a fool
Take his wife and hide her for he's liable to treat her cru'l
He's acting mighty gay, he gave his Ingersoll away
Oh! oh! oh! oh! What will the neighbors say?
He told an untrue story of a chicken with one leg
Drinking boiling water and it laid a hard-boiled egg
The sheriff won't believe it, he claims that it's a yarn
But Si's been drinking cider
And he don't give a good gosh darn

Miss Lonely Heart, what will I do?
I am a lonely heart writing to you
Hoping that through your column you will drop me a line
Saying you know a lonely heart as lonely as mine
Miss Lonely Heart, hear my appeal
You seem to know the way lonely hearts feel
That's why I'm writing and I'm asking for a reply
That's why I'm hoping you know someone lonely as I
I'm so blue returning to my lonely room
Ev'ry night, for nothing's quite as lonely as a lonely room
Miss Lonely Heart, I'm by myself
Watching the clock that stands up on the shelf
Hoping to hear the news that you know somebody who
Watches a clock and whispers 'I'm a lonely heart too'

[1st verse:]
Dancing teacher, give us a chance
We came here to learn how to dance
That brand new dance they call the Fox Trot
The lovin' Fox Trot
If you'll kindly show us the way
Any price we're willing to pay
Take us each in turn
We're all ready to learn
[Refrain:]
[Boys:] Dancing teacher show us how to do the Fox Trot
[Mrs. Castle:] You'll have to watch your step
[Boys:] Won't you come and show us how to do the Fox Trot?
[Mrs. Castle:] You'll have to watch your step
[Boys:] Tell us what to do
[Mrs. Castle:] You must follow me
[Boys:] Can we do it too?
[Mrs. Castle:] Very easily
[Boys:] Kindly show us
[Mrs. Castle:] Watch me, watch me
[Boys:]
That dance is simply great
And it's so up-to-date
It beats the Tango, One-Step
And the others we know so
Dancing teacher, once again
Show us how it's done and then
We'll do the Fox Trot the whole night long
[2nd verse:]
Dancing teacher, do it some more
Glide us gently over the floor
Until we learn to dance the Fox Trot
The lovin' Fox Trot
Really it's a barrel of fun
Though it's not so easily done
If you'll see us through
We'll be doing it too

[1st verse:]
Betsy Brown, a manicurist fair
Dropped in town, to get the city air
Met the son of some millionaire
Who had lots of time to spare
Same old case of, 'I remember you'
Same old smile, and same old howdy-do
Same old look of innocence true
In her great big eyes so blue
[Refrain:]
She was a dear little girl
Dearest of dear little girls
Dear little eyes, dear little size
Dear little golden curls
She murmured, 'Dear, never fear
I'll always hold you dear'
When she said so true
'I'm fond of wine,' he knew
She was a dear, dear girl
[2nd verse:]
Soon he took Miss Betsy out to dine
And they had the dearest little time
For he bought the dearest of wine
Till the pair were feeling fine
Tho' it wasn't altogether right
To remark about her appetite
Seven waiters worked hard that night
Serving what she called a bite
[2nd refrain:]
She was a dear little girl
Dearest of dear little girls
Dear little eyes, dear little size
Dear little golden curls
She murmured, 'Dear, never fear
I'll always hold you dear'
To a check his pen
Was introduced, but then
She was a dear, dear girl

[Verse:]
There's an old superstition 'way down south
Ev'rybody believes that trouble won't stay
If you shake it away
When they hold a revival way down south
Ev'rybody with care and trouble that day
Tries to shake it away
[Refrain:]
Shaking the blues away, unhappy news away
If you are blue, it's easy to
Shake off your cares and troubles
Telling the blues to go, they may refuse to go
But as a rule, they'll go if you'll
Shake them away
Do like the voodoos do, list'ning to a voodoo melody
They shake their bodies so, to and fro
With every shake, a lucky break
Proving that there's a way to chase your cares away
If you would lose your weary blues
Shake 'em away

[Verse:]
There's an old superstition 'way down south
Ev'ry darkie believes that trouble won't stay
If you shake it away
When they hold a revival way down south
Ev'ry darkie with care and trouble that day
Tries to shake it away
[Refrain:]
Shaking the blues away, unhappy news away
If you are blue, it's easy to
Shake off your cares and troubles
Telling the blues to go, they may refuse to go
But as a rule, they'll go if you'll
Shake them away
Do like the darkies do, list'ning to a preacher way down south
They shake their bodies so, to and fro
With every shake, a lucky break
Proving that there's a way to chase your cares away
If you would lose your weary blues
Shake them away
[Patter:]
I gotta blues, you gotta blues
All God's chillun gotta blues
Come and join a rebel and we'll shake off the devil
And we'll shake all over God's Heaven, Heaven, Heaven
Anyone objectin' to shakin' ain't going there, Heaven, Heaven
Gonna shake all over God's Heaven
I gotta shake, you gotta shake
All God's chillun gotta shake, shake, shake
Nothing could be sweeter than to shake with Saint Peter
When we shake all over God's Heaven, Heaven, Heaven
Anyone objectin' to shakin' ain't going there, Heaven, Heaven
Gonna shake all over God's Heaven

The horse and buggy has had its day
The trolley has passed away
The bicycle built for two is gone
But sex, S-E-X, marches on
The town is crowded with gentlemen
Who'll never be rich again
They're putting their overcoats in pawn
But sex, S-E-X, marches on
The opera can't make money at the Met
And no one gives a hoot
But Billy Rose made a million dollars net
Out of a tank and a one-piece bathing suit
The moon looks down from among the stars
Where lovers are parked in cars
And couples make whoopee on your lawn
While sex, S-E-X, marches on
Glasses across the table
Drink till the break of dawn
Drink to Lamarr and Betty Grable
Long may their oomph march on
And here's to Sheridan
To Garbo
And to Dietrich
And to Crawford
And the others on the coast
Here's to Hollywood for sex marches on
And that's where it marches on the most
This may be yours and my day
But we will soon be gone
Ten thousand kids were born last Friday
Sex marches on
Sex, S-E-X, marches on
Glasses across the table
Drink till the break of dawn
To Robert Taylor and Clark Gable
Long may their oomph march on
And here's to beauty shops
To lip rouge
And mascara
And to perfume that is worth its weight in gold
Times are terrible but sex marches on
And ten million girdles have been sold
Fill up your empty glasses
Drink till the last drop's gone
Grandfather's old but still makes passes
Sex marches on
Sex, S-E-X, marches on
Washington grinds its axes
Incomes will soon be gone
Ladies of leisure don't pay taxes
Sex marches on
Sex, S-E-X, marches on

[1st verse:]
I'm getting tired of the glare and light
I've had enough of staying out at night
There's nothing in it, honey, honor bright
I'm through, all through
A little cottage in a One-Horse Town
That's where I'd like to go and settle down
I'd be as proud as if I wore a crown
If I had you
[Refrain:]
Come, let's settle down
In some small country town
Away from all this care and strife
Far, far away from Cabarets
We'll stay among the Jays
And live the quiet simple life
And from the time the rooster calls
I'll wear my overalls
And you'll wear a simple gingham gown
So if you're strong for a shower of rice
We could make a Paradise
Out of a One-Horse Town
[2nd verse:]
I love the city with its buildings tall
I love apartments with a great big hall
The place you speak of would be much too small
For me, sweetheart
I'd rather live upon Fifth Avenue
The simple life for me would never do
I really couldn't go away with you
When do we start?

[1st verse:]
Mister Wilson, Mister Wilson
Won't you kindly lend an ear
To what we think is a bright idea
It is very necessary that the boys are in good cheer
So that they can do their best
And here's what we suggest:
[Refrain:]
Send a lot of Jazz Bands over there
'Twill make the boys feel glad
Send a troupe of Alexanders
With their Jazz Bands out to Flanders
And make them play a lot of snappy airs
The kind that make you dance
It isn't just ammunition and food
You've got to keep them in a happy mood
So hurry up and send a troupe of Jazz Bands
Over to France
[2nd verse:]
Mister Wilson, Mister Wilson
Syncopation of today
Is the music of the U.S.A.
It is snappy, very happy and the only kind to play
For the soldiers out in France
Will help the big advance:

Sayonara, Japanese goodbye
Whisper sayonara but you mustn't cry
[Sayonara, if it must be so
Whisper sayonara, smiling as we go]
No more we stop to see pretty cherry blossoms
No more we 'neath the tree looking at the sky
Sayonara, sayonara
Goodbye

[1st verse:]
Music is a language lovers understand
Melody and romance wander hand in hand
Cupid never fails assisted by a band
So if you have something sweet to tell her
[Refrain:]
Say it with music
Beautiful music
Somehow they'd rather be kissed
To the strains of Chopin or Liszt
A melody mellow
Played on a cello
Helps mister Cupid along
So say it with a beautiful song
[2nd verse:]
There's a tender message deep down in my heart
Something you should know, but how am I to start?
Sentimental speeches never could impart
Just exactly what I want to tell you

[1st verse:]
A pair of sailor boys are we
We sail across the angry sea
Ya Ho! Ya Ho!
To prove we're sailor boys all right
We smoke a hornpipe every night
Ya Ho! Ya Ho!
We really hate the ocean 'cause it's all around the place
We only use it when we have to wash the captain's face
Of that we shouldn't really speak
He only washes once a week
Ya Ho! Ya Ho!
[Refrain:]
While we go sailing, sailing over the ocean blue
We're sailors thro' and thro'
The best you ever knew
If you doubt the story we're telling you
Any chorus girl can tell you we're sailors
As we go sailing, sailing
What do you think we do?
We flirt with ev'ry mermaid on Fifth Avenue
Our fathers lost a fortune down in Wall Street
So they both insisted we become a couple of sailors, too
[2nd verse:]
It makes no difference where we are
We always like to strike a bar
Ya Ho! Ya Ho!
We stand in line to quench our thirst
The second mate is always first
Ya Ho! Ya Ho!
The steward has an anchor tattooed near his vocal chord
So when we want to stop the ship we throw him overboard
We tie him to an iron chain
So we can pull him up again
Ya Ho! Ya Ho!

[1st verse:]
Sadie Cohen left her happy home
To become an actress lady
On the stage she soon became the rage
As the only real Salomy baby
When she came to town, her sweetheart Mose
Brought for her around a pretty rose
But he got an awful fright
When his Sadie came to sight
He stood up and yelled with all his might:
[Refrain:]
Don't do that dance, I tell you Sadie
That's not a bus'ness for a lady!
'Most ev'rybody knows
That I'm your loving Mose
Oy, Oy, Oy, Oy
Where is your clothes?
You better go and get your dresses
Ev'ryone's got the op'ra glasses
Oy! such a sad disgrace
No one looks in your face
Sadie Salome, go home
[2nd verse:]
From the crowd Moses yelled out loud,
'Who put in your head such notions?
You look sweet but jiggle with your feet
Who put in your back such funny motions?
As a singer you was always fine!
Sing to me, 'Because the world is mine!''
Then the crowd began to roar
Sadie did a new encore
Mose got mad and yelled at her once more:

[1st verse:]
The other day, a pretty little maid
Dressed in her Sunday clothes
All alone went strolling up the avenue
Fellows looked as fellows do
A certain fellow stopped her as he said
'I beg your pardon, miss
I've been watching you for an hour or two
And I've got to tell you this
[Refrain:]
Run home and tell your mother
Your father and your brother
That they better keep their eyes on you
Don't forget, you're nothing but a pet
And all the boys are saying that they'll get you yet
If you don't watch out, some fellow will be stealing you
As fellows often do
Run home and tell your mother
Your father and your brother
That they better keep their eyes on you
[2nd verse:]
The maiden said, 'How dare you dare you talk to me
I'll call an officer'
Pretty soon an officer was by her side
'He insulted me,' she cried
The fellow started running down the street
And pretty soon he fled
While the fellow ran, mister policeman
Turned unto the maid and said

Roses of yesterday
Faded and thrown away
Love is a pale bouquet
Of yesterday's roses
Roses were once in bloom
Here in my lonely room
Now there's a faint perfume
Of yesterday's roses
Roses of crimson red
Faded when love was dead
Quickly the summer fled
And winter discloses
That it was not to be
And all that's left for me
Is a sweet memory
Of yesterday's roses

[Verse:]
Brothers and sisters, misters and misses
Good people one in song
Come on down and jine the congregation at the old town hall
Johnson the speaker, he was the speaker
Come hear what he will say
Don't be slow, come let's go
This is revival day
[Refrain:]
Come and hear the congregation shouting
'Hallelujah, Hallelujah'
If you've misbehaved
Come, sinners and you'll all be saved
Raise your voices up to heaven shouting
'Hallelujah, Hallelujah'
Don't forget to bring your Bible
You won't regret, you know you're liable
To have your sins forgiven in that revival day

[1st verse:]
Mister Brown, Mister Brown had a violin
Went around, all around with his violin
Lawdy, how he play'd it, sway'd it, made it moan so beautiful
Anna Lize, Anna Lize heard his violin
Roll'd her eyes, roll'd her eyes at his violin
Lawdy, how he lov'd her, turtledoved 'er
When Anna would cry
[Refrain:]
Fiddle up, fiddle up on your violin
Lay right on it, rest your chin upon it
Doggone you better begin
And play an overture upon your violin
Hurry up, hurry up with your violin
Make it sooner, don't you stop to tune 'er
Fid, fid, fid, fiddle the middle of your ragtime violin
[2nd verse:]
Mister Brown, Mister Brown at a fancy ball
Sat around, sat around, sat around the hall
Wouldn't take a chance to dance because the band was terrible
Anna Lize, Anna Lize hit upon a plan
Roll'd her eyes, roll'd her eyes at the leaderman
Took his fiddle down to Mister Brown to
Just kiss him and cry

[Stella:]
Aida
There's not a melody sweeter
But you'll be sweeter when we begin turning you into a rag
Aida
We're gonna chop up your meter
We're getting tired of you and so
Here's where we're going to hurdy gurdy Mister Verdi
Op'ra
You always sound like an uproar
And that's the reason it's not a sin turning you into a rag
You'll soon be placed with the popular taste
For we're going to rearrange you, change you to a rag
[Ernesta:]
Dreamy
La Boheme
We will hesitate to you
Tho' we aggravate Puccini
He may
Roar and scream
Nevertheless we will hesitate to La Boheme
[Algy:]
Op'ra lovers if you'll grant us your pardon
We'll take the Garden scene from Faust
[Hardacre:]
And we'll rearrange the flower song
And call it our song
[Algy:]
Because it's melody makes a dreamy Maxixe
Op'ra lovers if you do not approve of what we remove of Faust
Just 'roust' and occupy back seats while we maxixe
To the Flower song from Faust
[Birdie:]
Everybody's doing it so we'll do the tango
To the strains of Carmen
O'er the floor
Let ev'ry Carmen take a Toreador
And throw her arms around him while they go dancing
To that entrancing melody
There's something in the rhythm of that refrain
That suits us perfectly
That's the reason we do the Tango to
The Carmen melody
[Refrain:]
Oh, you Pagliacci
You make a wonderful one-step a barrel of fun-step
And so before we're through
We'll make a one-step out of you
We like you Pagliacci
Because your melody mellow
By Leon Cavallo
Affords us something new
And so we'll one-step to you
[Verdi:] Please don't rag my melody
[Chorus:] We hate to tantalize you but we mean to modernize you
[Verdi:] Let my Rigoletto be
[Chorus:] We want you syncopated even though we know you hate it
[Verdi:] Tell me why you pick on me
[Chorus:] Because you're out of fashion, syncopation is our passion
[Verdi:] Really I'm as mad as a man can be
[Chorus:] So are we, so are we
[Verdi:] You know it's wrong
[Chorus:] What's wrong? What's wrong?
[Verdi:] To change my song
[Chorus:] Your song is wrong
[Verdi:] 'Twill drive me mad
[Chorus:] Too bad, too bad
[Verdi:] You'll have to stop!
[Chorus:] No! No! No! No!
[Verdi:] I ask you not to rag my melody
[Chorus:] You'll never recognize it from the way that we'll disguise it
[Verdi:] Tell me why, oh, why does it have to be
[Chorus:]
We're growing weary of your dreary little melody
That's why we play it the way it ought to be
[Verdi:] You needn't bother, I would rather you would let it be
[Chorus:] There's nothing to it, we'll do it easily
[Verdi:] Please don't
[Chorus:] We will
[Verdi:] Don't rag my Rigoletto
[Chorus:] We will
[Verdi:] Again I say
[Chorus:] What do you say? What do you say?
[Verdi:] You'll have to stop
[Chorus:] No!
[Verdi:] Yes!
[Chorus:] No!
[Verdi:] Yes!
[Chorus:] No!
[Verdi:] Yes!
[Chorus:] No!
[Verdi:] Yes!
[Chorus:] No!
[Verdi:] You'll have to stop
[Chorus:] No! No! No! No!
[Verdi:] Why are you tired of my melody
[Chorus:] We hate to pay admission for your dreary composition
[Verdi:] It doesn't sound the same to me
[Chorus:] You'll notice in a minute that we put some ginger in it
[Verdi:] You have changed the harmony
[Chorus:] You must admit it's sweeter even though we changed the meter
[Verdi:] Won't you spare my poor Rigoletto
[Chorus:]
Oh, you know, it's slow and so
We'll sprinkle on your melody a bit of originality
[Verdi:] Kindly spare it
[Chorus:] We will tear it
[Verdi:] Don't you dare it
[Chorus:] You must bear it
[Verdi:] Stop!
[Chorus:] We're going to rag it
[Verdi:] Stop!
[Chorus:] We're going to rag it
[Verdi:] Stop!
[Chorus:] We're going to rag it
[Verdi:] Stop!
[Chorus:] We're going to rag it
[Verdi:] No!
[Chorus:] Rag, rag, rag, rag your Rigoletto
[Verdi:] No!
[Chorus:]
Oh, you Pagliacci
You make a wonderful one-step a barrel of fun-step
And so before we're through
We'll make a one-step out of you
We like you Pagliacci
Because your melody mellow
By Leon Cavallo
Affords us something new
And so we'll one-step to you

[1st verse:]
The moon above am shining, love, I'm out here waiting
Don't be so shy, I can't see why you're hesitating
Come out and meet me, lady
You are my dark-eyed baby
Come, love, don't be afraidy
My little honey, do
Here while the stars am peeping
And all the world am sleeping
My promise I'll be keeping, love, to you
[Refrain:]
Queenie, my own
I'll build a nice little home
Where we can live all alone
And from you I'll never roam
Say you'll be mine
Oh! honey, please don't decline
And all the stars will then shine for you and me
[2nd verse:]
Impatiently I wait for thee here in the moonlight
Don't be afraid, my dusky maid, this is a spoonlight
Now, don't be hesitating
The birds above are mating
My love, I'll be relating
To you my dusky queen
Think, dear, of what you're missing
Love and lots of kissing
Come out, my love, and listen to my plea

Let's say it with firecrackers and banners held high
Let's have a real old-fashioned noisy Fourth of July
Let's say it with firecrackers down south and up north
Let's have the kind we used to call a glorious Fourth
Let's salute our native land
Roman candles in each hand
While a Yankee Doodle band
Gets hotter than a firecracker
Don't need any long speeches or shouts of 'Hooray!'
No words can say as much as firecrackers can say

[Revised 1946 version]
[Verse:]
Have you seen the well-to-do
Up and down Park Avenue
On that famous thoroughfare
With their noses in the air
High hats and Arrow collars
White spats and lots of dollars
Spending every dime
For a wonderful time
[Refrain:]
If you're blue and you don't know where to go to
Why don't you go where fashion sits
Puttin' on the ritz
Diff'rent types who wear a day coat, pants with stripes
And cutaway coat, perfect fits
Puttin' on the ritz
Dressed up like a million dollar trouper
Trying hard to look like Gary Cooper
Super duper
Come, let's mix where Rockefellers walk with sticks
Or 'um-ber-ellas' in their mitts
Puttin' on the ritz
[Alternate lyrics:]
Strolling up the avenue so happy
All dressed up just like an English chappie
Very snappy
You'll declare it's simply topping [top-thing?] to be there
And hear them swapping smart tidbits
Puttin' on the ritz
[Alternate lyrics from Fred Astaire's commercial recording:]
Tips his hat just like an English chappie
To a lady with a wealthy pappy
Very snappy

[Father Time:]
A day is born, July the first
And with it comes a shock
John Barleycorn who quenched your thirst
Passed out at twelve o'clock
The mourners come from far and near
Their bitter tears to shed
July the first, prohibition's here
And alcohol is dead
[Mourners:]
Alcohol, alcohol
Sorry to see you go
Alcohol, alcohol
Oh, how we'll miss you so
Fare thee well, fare thee well
Place us in a padded cell
For the country's going to hell
Now that she's going dry, dry, dry
We hate to say goodbye
[Bartenders:]
What are we going to do now?
What are we going to do?
Gone are the beer saloons
And we went with them too
The future now looks very black
Because the future points
To red neck-ties and tennis shirts
And sarsparilla joints
Where are we going to work now?
Maybe before we are through
We'll have to join the soda water crew
We'll have rouge upon our lips
And our hands upon our hips
Heaven help us when we do
[Chorus Girls:]
Gee, but it's gonna be tough for the chorus ladies from now on
How are we going to wrestle a Rolls-Royce from a Jack or John?
A little bit of Haig and Haig while we were having sup
Would help to make the tightest Ebeneezer loosen up
But now it's gonna be tougher
Now we're going to suffer
Now that the town is growing dry
[The Working Man:]
I want my beer, I want my beer
And there are no two ways about it
I want my beer, I want my beer
I won't do any work without it
The working man must have his can
To do his work from year to year
Oh, how I wish again
That I was a fish again
Swimming in an ocean of beer
[Soldiers:]
So, this is the land of the free
That awoke when the U-boats were sinking
And told us to go o'er the sea
And protect her liberty
Now I'm just as true as can be
To my land, but I cannot help from thinking
That I should have stayed in Paree
Where no one dares to interfere with what you're drinking

[Verse:]
Porc'lain boy is feeling so terribly lonely
Just because he's fallen in love with a maid
Though she's very near him
She don't seem to hear him
When he sings his little sad serenade
[Refrain:]
Porc'lain Maid, I'm calling to you
From my teakwood stand
Porc'lain Maid, I'm feeling so blue
Please let me hold your hand
How I long to cuddle and coo
'Neath a bamboo shade
I wanna design a
Home over in China
For my Porc'lain Maid
[2nd refrain:]
Porc'lain Boy, I'm list'ning to you
From my teakwood stand
Porc'lain Boy, if you're feeling blue
Come here and hold my hand
If you long to cuddle and coo
'Neath a bamboo shade
Why don't you design a
Home over in China
For your Porc'lain Maid

[1st verse:]
Ev'ry time I see you sitting in your lady's lap
My heart fills up with sympathy for you
I am pretty sure that you would be a far more happy chap
If you could do what other doggies do
They say it's blissful to be dumb and if that's really so
I'm mighty glad that ignorance is bliss
It's better that they meant you to be dumb because I know
'Twould break your heart if you knew what you miss
[1st refrain:]
You've never had a horseshoe or a can tied to your tail
You never yet have stuck your nose into a garbage pail
You're not allowed to chase the cat around the place
Or come home in the evening with a lovely dirty face
While all the other human dogs go 'round without a care
A-hunting for their breakfast and their dinner here and there
They feed you indigestion from a Plaza bill of fare
Poor little rich girl's dog
[2nd verse:]
Ev'ry day an English butler dolls you up in style
And you and Madam motor off to tea
Then you have to sit up straight and look your very grandest while
Your Mistress lies about your pedigree
They pick you out a 'soul mate' that they purchase at the store
You're not allowed to choose your future wife
You have to marry someone that you never met before
My God, but you do lead a rotten life
[2nd refrain:]
You've never sunk your teeth into a hobo's trouser patch
They chase the fleas so you can't have a good old-fashioned scratch
You're not allowed to 'greet' a dog upon the street
The straight and narrow path for yours, you can't be indiscreet
You don't know what it means to find a great big juicy bone
Your Mistress doesn't think it right to let you out alone
Her husband who wears corsets has to be your chaperone
Poor little rich girl's dog

(Words by George M. Cohan and Music by Irving Berlin)
[Verse:]
Poor old New York has been captured at last
Broadway is up in the air
We lost our hearts to a girl with a past
Dear little sweet Polly Claire
You'll hear them sing ev'rywhere
[Refrain:]
Polly, pretty Polly
She's a jolly little dame
Polly's created some talk
Polly's the talk of New York
Polly, pretty Polly
Fun and folly is her aim
A future at last for a girl with a past
Pretty Polly is her name
[2nd verse:]
David Belasco's to blame for it all
He brought the girl into sight
Even invited New Yorkers to call
Polly's at home ev'ry night
Now we all sing with delight

One swallow doesn't make a summer
One quarrel doesn't mean we're through
One heartache doesn't mean it's broken
Please let me come back to you
One parting doesn't mean that someone starts
Going out with someone new
One snowflake doesn't make a winter
Please let me come back to you, do
Please let me come back to you

[1st verse:]
You all have your favorite masters
The kind what music give
Did you ever, ever meet my lovin' piano man
No? then you've yet to live
He sits on his stool like a king on the throne
And plays and plays with ease
Why the melody just nestles in his finger tips
And oozes out in the keys
[Refrain:]
Piano man
Piano man
He brings forth notes like no one can
Oh what a feelin'
When his notes come a-stealin' why
I just feel like kneelin' and appealin' to my
Piano man
Piano man
Lawdy how his music lingers
May the Heaven bless his fingers
When he plays for days and days
It soothes me like a fan
Just lend your ear, dear, here, near to my ever lovin' piano man
[2nd verse:]
You've listened to Verdi's music
Beethoven's classy tune
I'm alludin' to the fellows with the hair as long
As a rainy afternoon
They all needed love to inspire their notes
Be it the spring or fall
But my piano man, just have him meet a piano grand
Then listen, Umm, Umm, that's all

When the sun goes down, Paris wakes up
Fills up her cup and smiles
When the lights are low, Paris is high
Lights up the sky for miles
When they stop playing shop on the Rue de la Paix
Count their stock and they lock up their styles
When the busy town goes home to sup
Paris wakes up and smiles

[Verse:]
Oh, I got a message from below
'Twas from a man I used to know
About a year or so ago
Before he departed
He is just as happy as can be
I'll tell you what he said to me
He said, 'If ever you get heavy-hearted
[Refrain:]
Pack up your sins and go to the devil in Hades
You'll meet the finest of gentlemen and the finest of ladies
They'd rather be down below than up above
Hades is full of thousands of
Joneses and Browns, O'Hoolihans, Cohens and Bradys
You'll hear a heavenly tune that went to the devil
Because the jazz bands
They started pickin' it
Then put a trick in it
A jazzy kick in it
They've got a couple of old reformers in Heaven
Making them go to bed at eleven
Pack up your sins and go to the devil
And you'll never have to go to bed at all
[Counterpoint refrain:]
If you care to dwell where the weather is hot
H-E-double-L is a wonderful spot
If you need a rest and you're all out of sorts
Hades is the best of the winter resorts
Paradise doesn't compare
All the nice people are there
They come there from ev'rywhere
Just to revel with Mister Devil
Nothing on his mind but a couple of horns
Satan is waitin' with his jazz band
And his band came from Alabam' with a melody hot
No one gives a damn if it's music or not
Satan's melody makes you want to dance forever
And you never have to go to bed at all

[1st verse:]
In uniform, we represent
The navy of our President
Yo-Ho! Yo-Ho!
We try to be as Dewey was
The fearless man we knew he was
Yo-Ho! Yo-Ho!
With watchful eye we take our post
To guard our Uncle Sammy's coast
Yo-Ho! Yo-Ho!
We'll fill our guns with navy beans
And shoot the German submarines
Yo-Ho! Yo-Ho!
[Refrain:]
Over the sea, boys
We're assigned
With the land we love ever in mind
Over the ocean, full of devotion
For the girls we left behind
[2nd verse:]
We're each a son of Washington
And each a man behind a gun
Yo-Ho! Yo-Ho!
The fun'ral march is all rehearsed
If we should see the Kaiser first
Yo-Ho! Yo-Ho!
We don't get much for what we do
But what we do means much to you
Yo-Ho! Yo-Ho!
We have to leave our wives behind
For fighting of a different kind
Yo-Ho! Yo-Ho!

Outside of loving you, I like you
And liking you makes me love you more
You're fun to be with and disagree with
While drinking cocktails or sipping tea with
Outside of kissing you, I like you
It sweetens the kisses I adore
I love making love to you but after the kissing ends
Outside of sweethearts, we're friends

[1st verse:]
Now sweet Flo and Joe with lights burning low
Sat spooning as all lovers do
Her wee sister Rose
Stood up on her toes
And eagerly kept peeping through
Oh my, oh what bliss
She soon heard them kiss
As he gently called her 'my dear'
The very next day
When Flo came her way
She whispered these words in her ear:
[Refrain:]
Oh! what I know about you
Oh! what I know about you
Don't say you didn't 'cause I overheard
Honest to goodness, I won't say a word
Oh! what I know about you
Something that I wouldn't do
Far be it from me
To repeat what I see
But, oh! what I know about you
[2nd verse:]
Next evening when Joe called 'round to see Flo
He found little Rose all alone
In her cunning way
He soon heard her say
'My sister said she's not at home'
Her face wore a grin
She said, 'Please come in'
Poor Joseph, oh my, what he saw
There sat pretty Flo
With her other beau
Rose cried to her sister once more:

[Bridesmaids & Ushers:]
Ten little bridesmaids, ten little ushers
Marching side by side
We gave our promises to come to Saint Thomas's
And usher for the bridegroom
And bridesmaid for the bride
From a hundred we were chosen and we're very glad we were
For this is the most important wedding on the social register
It's a perfect match
He was quite a catch
For the bridegroom is a member of the best of families
And the lovely bride
On her mother's side
Is a first or second cousin of the Astors, if you please
Cholly Knickerbocker says this is a smart affair
Cholly will be there
Knee-deep in Vanderbilts
It is plain to see, it is plain to see
Why we're proud to be, why we're proud to be
The selected few picked from Who's Who
To come here side by side
And usher for the bridegroom
And bridesmaid for the bride
Now we must go into church and see the groom and bride
Standing side by side
Knee-deep in Vanderbilts
For the happy pair, for the happy pair
Will be waiting there, will be waiting there
So we can't be late, we mustn't wait
The knot will soon be tied
Champagne for the bridegroom
And babies for the bride
[1st verse:]
[Groom:]
Wake up, sleepyhead
Tumble out of bed
Wake up, don't be so slow
Bells go ting-a-ling
Let's be hurrying
Off to church we must go
[Refrain:]
Sun's in the sky, don't you know why?
This is our wedding day
Birds in their nest are singing their best
For we're going to be married
Flowers are in bloom and the perfume
Speaks of a bride's bouquet
Spread the good news with rice and old shoes
For this is our wedding day
[2nd verse:]
[Bride:]
I'm so sleepy, dear
Won't you make it clear
Why you're shaking me so
Please, dear, cut it out
What's it all about?
[Groom:]
Off to church we must go

[As sung in film:]
You thought that many, many years ago
You saw the last of every soldier show
But here we are, yes, here we are again
A lot of water's gone across the dam
Since we put make-up on for Uncle Sam
To treat you as our fathers treated you then
We were drafted by our President
And we march with banners unfurled
We were drilled and trained to represent
The greatest army in the world
Yes, the greatest army of actors in the world
Now don't get us wrong
We're not here for long
Our stay in the theater is brief
We're here with the show
To help get some dough
Some dough for the Army Relief
The much-needed Army Relief
But beneath the powder and beneath the paint
There's a soldier brave and true
If some guy in Congress tells you that we ain't
Let him do what we had to do
And go through what we went through

[Verse:]
I wonder what's the matter with me
Losing my appetite
Lying awake at night
I wonder what the trouble can be
Watching the days go by
Caring not whether I
Live or die
[Refrain:]
Ooh! Maybe it's you
Making me blue
Maybe it's you
Ooh! what I would do
If it were you
Making me blue
I went and had my fortune read
Someone's to blame the gypsy said
But she wouldn't say who
Maybe it's you
Making me blue
Maybe it's you

[Horace:] Countess, you're my pal. Hey, we gotta celebrate!
[Countess:] What?
[Horace:] Yeah, first to Montmartre!
Then the Moulin Rouge!
The Folies Bergere!
[Countess:] Not at all....
[Horace:] Not Montmartre?
[Countess:] No.
[Horace:] Not the Moulin Rouge?
[Countess:] No.
[Horace:] Not the Folies Bergere?!
[Countess:] No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. They are
[1st refrain:]
Only for Americans
The midnight life in gay Paree
The Frenchman he would never see
It's only for Americans
The prices in the smart cafe
The Frenchman he would never pay
The price that's more is only for
Americans from the U.S.A.
A Montmartre lady drops her hanky
And slyly winks her eye
That's only for the Yankee
The Frenchman wouldn't buy
Only for Americans
The Frenchmen on the boulevards
Don't buy those dirty postal cards
They're only for Americans
The little holes for peeping through
To see what naughty people do
The French would bore, they're only for
Americans from the U.S.A.
[2nd refrain:]
Only for Americans
The shops with many real antiques
Antiques as old as seven weeks
They're only for Americans
The bed on which a king made love
Which there are sev'ral dozen of
The French pooh pooh, we sell them to
Americans from the U.S.A.
Those old Napoleon brandy labels
That recently were made
They're not for Frenchmen's tables
They're for the Yankee trade
Only for Americans
The Frenchman gets his kisses free
But those for which there is a fee
Are only for Americans
You'll find two prices on a dress
One that is extremely less
The price that's more is only for
Americans from the U.S.A.
[3rd refrain:]
Only for Americans
A Frenchman's food is very plain
Those fancy sauces with ptomaine
Are only for Americans
A Frenchman seldom eats the snails
With little ulcers on their tails
And all that cheese was made to please
Americans from the U.S.A.
While the American carouses
Where crimson shadows creep
The French avoid those houses
They go to bed to sleep
Only for Americans
A Frenchman wouldn't be impressed
To see a show with girls undressed
That's only for Americans
The French don't go to naked shows
They've seen what's underneath the clothes
And each encore is only for
Americans from the U.S.A.
[4th refrain:]
Only for Americans
The Frenchmen don't keep company
With south of France society
That's only for Americans
The Frenchman hasn't large amounts
To pay for Barons, Dukes and Counts
That you adore, they're only for
Americans from the U.S.A.
We like to keep the good relations
That nothing must upset
We give you decorations
That Frenchmen seldom get
Only for Americans
Our finest art is in the Louvre
The ones the experts don't approve
Are only for Americans
We keep an artist by the gate
To sign the paintings while you wait
Before they're dry, they're purchased by
Americans from the U.S.A.
[alternate bridge in 2nd REFRAIN:]
We buy your worn out mink and sables
And fix them up like new
Then simply change the labels
And sell them back to you
[alternate ending:]
Only for Americans
The season starts, they come to town
They turn the city upside down
We use their Yankee Doodle dough
To clean up Paris when they go
But we can't do without them
We're simply mad about them
The Americans
The Americans
The Americans from the U.S.A.

[1st verse:]
Jonesy with a frown was telling Mister Brown
'Old pal, I'm just as sick as I can be
Most ev'rything I've done, the doctors ev'ry one
In vain have tried to find a cure for me
They doctor me until I almost faint
They help'd me not for this is my complaint
[1st refrain:]
One o'clock in the morning I get lonesome
One o'clock in the morning I get blue
But my wife and family won't stay up with me
So I've got to leave the house and hunt for company
Going in and out the diff'rent places
Places where they've thrown away the key
I just hunt until I'm wild
For a woman, man or child
Who is troubled with the same complaint as me
[2nd verse:]
Many doctors thought an operation ought
To be the very thing without a doubt
They ether'd him, the fools, then went to get their tools
Came back at one to cut his lonesome out
They found a dozen nurses by his side
They ask'd him to explain and he replied
[2nd refrain:]
One o'clock in the morning I get lonesome
One o'clock in the morning I get blue
All the ether 'neath the sun, ether by the ton
Couldn't keep me sleeping when the clock is striking one
So you'll have to wait until tomorrow
Soon I'll be as busy as a bee
For I've got an awful hunch
There's a nurse among the bunch
Who is troubled with the same complaint as me

[Verse:]
I would like you to listen
Pay attention and listen
To a story that's old, but never stale
I would like you to listen
Pay attention and listen
To a twentieth century fairy tale
[Refrain:]
Once there was a princess
Once there was a guy
And they fell in love one wonderful day
But she was a princess
He was just a guy
So there was the royal devil to pay
They were ordered not to speak to one another
And they knew the sorrow that would bring
Still, they promised not to speak to one another
But they didn't promise not to sing
So beneath her window tenderly he sang
All the things he promised never to say
Once upon a time today
[2nd refrain:]
He collected lots of corny little phrases
Like 'I love you, dear' and 'You're for me'
But he found that when he set them all to music
They were just as good as poetry
So beneath her window tenderly he sang
'How about that happy ending in May?'
Once upon a time today
[British version substitutes 'ordinary' for 'corny little']

[1st verse:]
Honey, that leaderman leads like a leader can
Just see him leadin' that band
My honey, don't you understand
That they're playin' music grand
Just never mind the name
Ragtime is all the same
Music is music with me
But I will say that it's beautiful, hon'
With a great big capital B
[Refrain:]
Oh! oh! oh! oh!
Oh! that beautiful rag
It sets my heart a-reelin'
Oh! oh! oh! oh!
Oh! that beautiful drag
That funny feeling stealing
Hear that trombone blowin', hon'
Ain't dem fiddles goin' some?
Oh! sir
Oh! sir, cuddle up closer
Squeeze me like you would a flower
Make a minute last an hour
Oh! oh! oh! oh!
Oh! that heavenly strain
It makes me feel so funny
If I ever cry, 'Don't play it again'
Just don't believe me honey
Oh, my dearie, can't you hear me callin'?
Come up near me, catch me, dear, I'm fallin'
Oh! oh! oh! oh!
Oh! that beautiful rag
[2nd verse:]
What does my honey want? Go in a restaurant?
Now you is talkin' some sense
And this here place is just immense
I know you don't mind expense
Hence
Bring on yo' bill o' fare
Honey, I do declare
Somehow I'm feelin' forlorn
Hear them playin' that old beautiful rag
Now my appetite is gone

[1st verse:]
You've heard about foxy old Brownie
Who sent his whole fam'ly away
Well you can just bet that I envied old Brown
When I heard him shouting Hooray!
I borrowed some money from Brownie
Induced my old lady to pack
It's now been a month and I can't raise the price
To pay for her fare coming back
[Refrain:]
Oh, where is my wife tonight?
Oh, why did she leave my sight?
I'm sorry to say, I shouted hooray!
Oh, why did I ever let her go away?
She never would leave the town
If it hadn't have been for Brown
Bring back, bring back
Bring back my wifey to me
[2nd verse:]
I've tried ev'ry way to raise money
But none of my friends are in town
Excepting the one man who started this thing
So I called around to see Brown
He answered, 'I'm sorry old fellow
I'll have to refuse you this time
I just have enough money left in the bank
To send for that fam'ly of mine'

Funny when you're left with nothing more to say
Suddenly you find you should be on your way
Funny how you long for some excuse
To remain awhile but it's no use
The conversation ends and you've nothing more to say
Funny when you're left without a thought on your mind
Funny when you search for words you never can find
Gone are the pretty speeches that you planned for your lucky day
Funny when you're left with nothing more to say

[1st verse:]
I'm sad and lonely
There's a good reason why
Nobody cares about me
That's why I'm sad as can be
I long for someone
Somebody, yes indeed
Lovin' kisses from one
Is exactly what I need
[Refrain:]
Many's the time I feel so lonesome
But nobody knows
And nobody cares
I've grown so tired of being by my 'own-some'
I want somebody to hug
Cuddle and snug as comfy as a bug in a rug
Many's the time I feel like spooning
But nobody knows
And nobody cares
I guess I'll make out a little 'ad'
That I want some lovin' so bad
'Cause nobody knows
And nobody seems to care
[2nd verse:]
I'd love a sweetie
Hanging around the place
Someone to worry about
I'd never want to go out
My home is gloomy
Nobody's there that's why
I feel 'bride-and-groom-y'
Can't you see it in my eye

[1st verse:]
Two loving sweethearts 'mid flowers in Maytime
Two happy faces like children in playtime
Two eyes of blue, gazing into
Eyes of her own sweetheart
One cozy bench holds the couple within it
Hours that passed only seemed like a minute
Sweet maiden sighs
Fellow replies
'Tell me before we part'
[Refrain:]
Next to your mother, who do you love?
Next to your father, and your sister Sue
Tell me who looks good to you
Next to your mother, who would you miss?
Next to your brother, who would you kiss?
Next to your own dear folks at home
Tell me, now who do you love?
[2nd verse:]
Five cozy rooms in a flat in the city
One baby boy cute and cunning and pretty
Parson had said
'You two are wed
Bless you my children, go'
'Come spend a week,' so she wrote to her mother
Mother replies, 'I am bringing your brother'
Husband remarks
'Me for the parks
But first I want to know'

[1st verse:]
When Missus Brown told hubby, 'I just can't stand the heat
Please send me to the country, dear, I know 'twould be a treat'
Next day his wife and fam'ly were seated on a train
And when the train had started, Brownie shouted this refrain:
[1st refrain:]
My wife's gone to the country, hurrah, hurrah!
She thought it best, I need a rest, that's why she went away
She took the children with her, hurrah, hurrah!
I don't care what becomes of me, my wife's gone away
[2nd verse:]
He kept the 'phone a-going, told ev'ryone he knew
'It's Mister Brown, come on downtown, I have some news for you'
He told a friend reporter just why he felt so gay
Next day an advertisement in the papers read this way:
[2nd refrain:]
My wife's gone to the country, hurrah, hurrah!
She thought it best, I need a rest, that's why she went away
She took the children with her, hurrah, hurrah!
I don't care what becomes of me, my wife's gone away
[3rd verse:]
He sang his joyful story into a phonograph
He made a dozen records and I say it was to laugh
For when his friends had vanished and Brown was all alone
His neighbors heard the same old tune on Brownie's graphophone
[3rd refrain:]
My wife's gone to the country, hurrah, hurrah!
She thought it best, I need the rest, that's why she went away
She took the children with her, hurrah, hurrah!
Like Eva Tanguay, I don't care, my wife's gone away
[4th verse:]
He went into the parlor and tore down from the wall
A sign that read 'God Bless Our Home' and threw it in the hall
Another sign he painted and hung it up instead
Next day the servant nearly fainted when these words she read:
[4th refrain:]
My wife's gone to the country, hurrah, hurrah!
She thought it best, I need the rest, that's why she went away
She took the children with her, hurrah, hurrah!
Now I'm with you if you're with me, my wife's gone away
[5th verse:]
He called on pretty Molly, a girl he used to know
The servant said 'She left the house about an hour ago
But if you leave your name, sir, or write a little note
I'll give it to her when she comes' and this is what he wrote:
[5th refrain:]
My wife's gone to the country, hurrah, hurrah!
She thought it best, I need the rest, that's why she went away
She took the children with her, hurrah, hurrah!
I love my wife, but oh! you kid, my wife's gone away
[6th verse:]
He went and bought a parrot, a very clever bird
The kind that always would repeat most anything she heard
So when his voice grew husky and Brownie couldn't talk
While he'd be taking cough-drops, he would have the parrot squawk:
[6th refrain:]
My wife's gone to the country, hurrah, hurrah!
She thought it best, I need the rest, that's why she went away
She took the children with her, hurrah, hurrah!
I knew my book, she left the cook, my wife's gone away

[Verse:]
Take away my high hats
Take away my favorite tie
Take away my white spats
I'll still get by
But my walking stick
You simply must let that be
I mean you can't take that away from me
[Refrain:]
Without my walking stick, I'd go insane
Can't look my best, I'd feel undressed without my cane
Must have my walking stick 'cause it may rain
And when it pours, can't be outdoors without my cane
If I ever left my house without my walking stick
It would just be something I could never explain
The thing that makes me click on Lovers' Lane
Would go for naught if I were caught without my cane

[Verse:]
I'm in love with a beautiful maid
Sweet as a girl could be
Out in Flanders she came to my aid
A Salvation lassie is she
Strange to say I'd met her before
In the city's mad whirl
'Ere we thought of going to war
I called her my tambourine girl
[Refrain:]
I met her on Broadway
With a tambourine in her hand
'Follow on, follow on'
Was her solemn cry to the passersby
I wanted to tell her
But I feared she'd not understand
I bid a fond goodbye to her then
One day in France I met her again
And I told her that I loved her
Out in no man's land

[1st verse:]
I never felt so happy before
A little rascal knocked at my door
It's Cupid that I'm speaking of
I'm in love
So in love
I must confess that right from the start
I went and lost my heart
[Refrain:]
Wait till you see me with my sweetie
Showing her off to the crowd
Looking so dreamy at my sweetie
Feeling so terribly proud
She makes a specialty
Of looking good to me
She ought to be right in Tiffany's window
She's a jewel, I know that you'll agree
Wait till I'm married to my sweetie
How happy I'll be
I've got the bungalow paid for
I've had it 'specially made for
My sweetie
Sweetie, eetie, eetie
My sweetie and me
[2nd verse:]
You've seen an exhibition where they
Charge you a large admission to stay
I mean the paintings that they show
Fine, I know
But don't go
I've got a picture and it's a treat
You needn't buy a seat

[Verse:]
Let me place a crown
On my favorite town
Let me sing its praises to the sky
Not because I'm there
As it's humble Mayor
But because you feel the same as I
[Refrain:]
There's a spot in my heart
That's becoming a part of my New York
There's a warm little beat
For each corner and street in my New York
I gaze at Father Knickerbocker resting on the map
With seven million children sitting pretty in his lap
And there's something inside
That is bursting with pride for my New York

[Subtitled: 'A Song Poem']
A dream so beautiful
While in slumberland I seemed
To hear the sweetest melody
Sweetest melody
It seemed that melody
Had journeyed year after year
Then stopped to rest in my ear
Seeming to know it was welcome
But soon when I woke again
I found that beautiful strain
Had left me crying in vain
Come back, come back again
Seems an angel from above
Had sent that melody
To remind me of my love
That vanished like my melody
Like my melody dream

Let's keep in touch while we're dancing
Let's dance and touch as before
Let's cuddle close as we used to when we danced
With nothing between us
But the clothes we wore
Locked in my arms while we're dancing
'Stead of rock and rolling miles apart
Let's keep in touch, keep in touch as we used to when we danced
Cheek to cheek and heart to heart

[1st verse:]
In Honolulu, far away
A maiden who could not be gay
Is feeling so much better
Since she received a letter
From her Hawaiian lover came
A little tender note
She's so excited and so delighted
For this is what he wrote
[Refrain:]
Wait for me
My Honolulu girl
My hula-hula girl
I'm coming back to you
That sunny sky land
Hawaiian Island
Will soon be my land
I hear a Ukalele strumming gaily
In my dreams
You seem to say to me
Come back and play to me
That melody oh, so nice!
So if you love me still
My things I'll pack again
Then I'll be coming back again
To you, my Bird of Paradise
[2nd verse:]
In Honolulu, by the sea
A maiden's waiting patiently
And as a ship goes past her
Her little heart beats faster
He'll soon be landing at the pier
She's waiting for the boat
He won't forget her for in his letter
Her sweet Hawaiian wrote

Missus Sally Adams
Requests the pleasure of your company
At a supper and dance
A farewell party
That she's giving at her house tonight
Missus Sally Adams
The queen of Washington society
Anybody at all
Who's anybody
Will be gathered at her house tonight
Missus Sally Adams
The new ambassador to cross the sea
Missus Sally Adams
Who says 'The hell with formality'
Missus Sally Adams
Missus Sally Adams
Makes 'em sing at her parties
And each guest becomes a ham
Giving all that he's got
It may not please the smarties
But she doesn't give a damn
If they like it or not
She is liable to blurt out
The thing that she should ignore
But nobody will care
She can iron a shirt out
That's stuffed with a senator
Or a Congressman there
God bless America
For Missus Sally Adams
Who wants the pleasure of your company
Glad are we
To accept and root for
Missus Sally Adams
Queen of all the madams
Madam Ambassador
[Reprise:]
Missus Sally Adams
Requests the pleasure of your company
At a supper and dance
A coming home party
That she's giving at her house tonight
Missus Sally Adams
Has lost some of her popularity
And the chances are
That a few somebodys
Will be missing at her house tonight
Missus Sally Adams
Is back among us very suddenly
And we're very anxious
To hear what happened there across the sea
We are simply delighted
And happy without a doubt
To be gathering there
Ev'ryone is excited
For maybe we'll hear about
Sally's foreign affair
God bless America
For Missus Sally Adams
Who wants the pleasure of your company
Glad are we
To accept and root for
Missus Sally Adams
Queen of all the madams
Madam Ambassador

Playing on his slide trombone in a certain monotone
He was known as Mister Monotony
Any pleasant interlude that would mean a change of mood
Didn't go with Mister Monotony
Sometimes he would change the key
But the same dull melody
Would emerge from Mister Monotony
Folks for miles would run away
Only one prefer'd to stay
She would come around and say
'Have you got any monotony today?'
They got married as they should and around the neighborhood
She was known as Missus Monotony
They were happy as can be and they raised a family
Six or seven little monotonies
From another village came a snappy clarineter
She heard him play and strange to say she liked him better
'Twas the end of Mister Monotony
She refused him when he tried
Bringing her back to his side
She just answered when he cried:
'Have you got any monotony today?'
'Haven't got any monotony today
Can't play
Today
Haven't got any monotony today'
[Alternate lines from the soundtrack:]
Soon there came another bride
And she snuggled to his side
But he answered when she cried:

[1st verse:]
I know a certain young fellow
Who's filling people with joy
How would you like to say 'hello'
To this remarkable boy?
Ev'ryone's talking about him
He's been the topic for days
He's just a winsome gent
With an instrument that plays
I'd like to have you meet him
[Refrain:]
Shake hands with Mister Jazz himself
He took the saxophone from off the shelf
And when you hear him play
You'll say that he's been taking lessons up in Heaven
That dreamy moan is his own 'riginality
He knows a strange sort of change in a minor key
I don't know how he does it
But when he starts to play the blues
He's like a messenger of happy news
No one else could ever do it as
My friend, Mister Jazz
[2nd verse:]
I never cared about discords
They never cared about me
But when I listen to his chords
We both agree to agree
He's not a Wagner or Verdi
He's not a classy highbrow
He's just a boy who has
Put the joy in jazz and now
I'd like to have you meet him

[1st verse:]
A married couple stepped one night
Upon a Pullman train
It near drove them insane
To hear the man explain
An upper berth for both of you
Is all that we can spare
And so if you don't care
You both may sleep up there
They tumbled in that upper berth
At ten o' clock that night
And soon the porter heard somebody
Yell with all their might
[1st refrain:]
Move over, move over
Move over, over, over
This berth is much too small
I'll fall I fear
I'll tumble out, in, under
Just like a roar of thunder
Can't you see you're crowding me
Move over, my dear
[2nd verse:]
The other people in the train
Yelled out 'For goodness sake!
That awful noise you make
Is keeping us awake'
But just the same they kept it up
And while they moved around
We heard an awful sound
The berth came tumbling down
They fell upon a fellow who
Was in the lower berth
He woke up suddenly and yelled for
All that he was worth
[2nd refrain:]
Move over, move over
Move over, over, over
The man began to shout
Get out of here
The porter started grinning
He shouted 'Seventh Inning!'
They stretched and then cried out again
Move over, my dear

[Verse:]
When all is still in Paris
And evening shadows creep
Upon a hill in Paris
The people never sleep
They bid a royal welcome
To ev'ry restless heart
Champagne bubbles drown their troubles
While they are in Mont Martre
[Refrain:]
Mont Martre, playground of France
Mont Martre, wrapped in romance
Mont Martre, on with the dance
While the violin plays a song of sin with
Love dreams luring you on
Till the vision is gone
Young hearts break with the wake of each dawn
How tragic is the magic of Mont Martre

[1st verse:]
Mike O'Toole, on a stool
Sat one Sunday morning fair
Molly O, pure as snow
Happened to be passing there
She smiled and said, 'I see you're all alone'
Listen to some blarney Michael brought from home
'Maiden sweet, half my seat
You can have, sweet Molly O
Faith I'm glad that your dad
Wed your mother years ago
They never thought their girl and Mike O'Toole
Would sit and talk upon the same old stool
[Refrain:]
Molly O, oh, Molly, I adore you
And I've got the spot, a regular house and lot
There's a great big future, dear, before you
I hate to be talking about myself
But when it comes to being father
I'm as gentle as could be
You don't say no, so now is me time to go
Consider yourself engaged to me
Good morning, Molly
[2nd verse:]
Molly sighed, then she cried
'Don't you think you'd rather stay?'
Michael winked, said, 'I think
This will be a lovely day'
They sat for hours on the same old stool
Spooning like the teacher never taught at school
Michael read from his head
Seven chapters of a book
Ev'ry line meant a fine
Irish kiss that Michael took
At three A.M. beneath the smiling moon
The milkman heard him sing the same old tune

Liberty, Miss Liberty
We welcome you here to our shores
Liberty, Miss Liberty
The key to the city is yours
Liberty, Miss Liberty
You're not just the symbol of a statue that we love
But the most beautiful girl in the world
Would you like to dine some evening at the Astors?
-I'd love to
Would you like to play a week at Tony Pastor's?
-I'd love to
Would you like to come to Trinity on Sunday?
-I'd love to
Would you like to launch a battleship on Monday?
-I'd love to
Here's some orchids fresh with dew from the President to you
Here's some winter flannels from the nation's mothers
Here's some tickets for our ball
You'll be welcome at the hall
Here's some cough drops from the famous bearded brothers
I represent Pratt's Astral Oil
The finest application for a pimple or a boil
We'll pay you handsomely for very little toil
Your picture with a bottle of Pratt's Astral Oil
I thank you, I thank you, I'm grateful to be sure
Like money in the bank, you have made me feel secure
Your Congress, your Senate, your President, so dear
But mostly Mister Bennett, the man who brought me here

Who are we
And what are we doing here?
Wait and see
We're going to make it clear
We're the new millionaires who will sit in the chairs
That were once occupied by the old millionaires
Where are they
The people who had the cash?
They can't pay
They lost it all in the crash
Their sables and their foxes have all been put in pawn
So we bought up their boxes for the opera must go on
And instead of Mister Belmont, Mister Gould, and Mister Kahn
There's Mister Reuben, a Cuban who runs a delicatessen store
The man which a sandwich made famous
And there is Mister Klein, you've seen the sign on Union Square
The women's wear he sells made him a millionaire
And a first-night patron of the opera
The most expensive box was bought by William Fox
A fella named Nat Lewis who deals in ties and socks
Will occupy the chair a Vanderbilt sat upon
He'll be there to help them all carry on
Those gentlemen who force you to buy their Scotch and rye
Are in the diamond horse-shoe, would you like to know just why?
It seems a large delegation couldn't get a donation from Otto Kahn
And so the racket said we will back it
They came across because the opera must go on

[Verse:]
There's a man who's full of personality and charm
And he's heading for the hall of fame
Father Knickerbocker came and took 'im by the arm
Now we feel the magic of his name
[Refrain:]
Jimmy
We simply had to fall for one and all for Jimmy
And now we're singing of him 'cause we love him
Who told Broadway not to be gay?
Who gets his picture taken three times a day?
Jimmy
We're very glad to show that we all know that Jimmy
Is doing fine
Can't you hear those old New Yorkers hollering
'Gimme, gimme, gimme Jimmy for mine'

[1st verse:]
Molly's dad and mother
Sister and her brother
Went to see an uncle
Leaving Molly all alone
Molly on her own hook
Took the telephone book
Soon Miss Central heard this conversation o'er the phone
'Now Charlie, dear, I need your company
And if you want to prove your love to me
[Refrain:]
Meet me tonight, meet me tonight
Bring down your kisses, I'll be there with mine all right
We'll start out at seven, spoon until eleven
Then we'll start for 'Home Sweet Home's' a pretty ditty
Meet me tonight, meet me tonight
Don't disappoint me, honor bright
Love and kisses we'll be pawning
Till the yawning, dawning, morning
If you meet me tonight
[2nd verse:]
Charlie met Miss Molly
They got feeling jolly
Talked a while, then walked a mile
Then had another talk
They grew tired of talking
They grew tired of walking
Then to make things lively, for a change they took a walk
That morning when he left her at the door
She whisper'd, 'If you'd like to walk some more

[Verse:]
We took a walk, we had a talk
And let me tell you very confidentially
The little walk, the little talk
Has made me just as glad as glad as I can be
I simply wanted to know
Who she was loving and so
We took a walk and had a talk
And I discovered pretty soon that it was me
[Refrain:]
She gave her attention
Not to him, not to her, not to them, not to those, but to me
Her family
They held a convention
Not for him, not for her, not for them, not for those, but for me
I'm delighted, yes sir!
And I have to laugh
Standing on my dresser
Is a photograph
Which proves that she
Gives all her attention
Not to him, not to her, not to them, not to those, but to me

Me and my Melinda, my Melinda and me
We are bound up together in sympathy
Me and my Melinda, we are seldom apart
On the nights when I feel like a heart to heart
When I'm blue
We just sit there holding hands
And when we do
My Melinda understands
When I'm having trouble that I cannot disclose
When I can't tell the world of my private woes
Long before I tell her, my Melinda knows

Maybe it's because I love you too much
Maybe that is why you love me so little
Maybe when I answered, yes
Maybe I became a bore
Maybe if I loved you less
Maybe you would love me more
Maybe it's because I've kissed you too much
Maybe that is why my kiss means so little
Maybe with a love so great and a love so small
Maybe I'll be left with no love at all

[Verse:]
Ten generations of Constantins
Lived very comf'table lives
They were contented to live in style
Supported by their wives
Daughters of men who were wealthy
Fitted them like a glove
They all married for money
I mean to marry for love
[Refrain:]
It's an old-fashioned idea, marrying for love
And that old-fashioned idea's what I'm thinking of
Where there's love, poets have said
Two can live as one
That's an old-fashioned idea
But it's being done
When I find the man that I'm crazy about
There's much that I could do without
But I couldn't do without love
Just an old-fashioned romance with a moon above
A romance, one that will end marrying for love
That's the kind of love
That I'm thinking of
[Alternate bridge for male:]
If she must have gold, let it be in her hair
Rubies, let them be in her lips
Diamonds, let them shine in her eyes

[1st verse:]
Oh, Marie, 'neath the window I'm waiting
Oh, Marie, please don't be so aggravating
Can't you see my heart just yearns for you, dear
With fond affection
And love that's true, dear
Meet me while the Summer moon is beaming
For you and me, the little stars are beaming
Please come out tonight, my queen
Can't you hear my mandolin?
[Refrain:]
My sweet Marie from sunny Italy
Oh how I do love you
Say that you'll love me, love me, too
Forever more I will be true
Just say the word and I will marry you
And then you'll surely be
My sweet Marie from sunny Italy
[2nd verse:]
Oh, Marie, I've been waiting so patiently
Oh, Marie, please come out and I shall happy be
Raise your window, love, and say you're coming
The little birds, dear
Are sweetly humming
Don't say, 'No,' my sweet Italian Beauty
There's not another maiden e'er could suit me
Come out, love, don't be afraid
Listen to my serenade

Marie, the dawn is breaking, marie,
We'll soon be waking to find
Your heart is aching
And tears will fall as you recall
The moon in all it's splendor
A kiss so very tender,
A words, will you surrender to me.

[Reporter:]
I've got a headline
Oh, what a headline
Off the beaten track
A dog bit a man and the man bit the dog right back
[Editor:]
You can print what Roosevelt said
On the front page for a great big spread
[Reporter:]
But I've got a headline
Oh, what a headline
Off the beaten track
A dog bit a man and the man bit the dog right back
[Editor:]
Hold the wire, it's hard to hear
There is someone screaming in my ear
What the hell's the matter with you and why the big enthuse?
[Reporter:]
A man was bitten by a dog
[Editor:]
I know but that's not news
[Reporter:]
But the man bit the dog right back
[Editor:]
What's that you say?
Got no time for gags today
[Reporter:]
But this is no gag, it's on the square
I just this minute came back from there
[Editor:]
You just this minute came back from where?
[Reporter:]
From a swell Park Avenue shack
Where a dog bit a man and the man bit the dog right back
[Editor:]
Never mind that Roosevelt speech
I've a headline now that is a peach
It's a most important story that'll set the town agog
Kill the Roosevelt spread, print this instead:
Man bites dog!
[Newsies:]
Extra! Extra! Extra! Extra! Man bites dog!
Extra! Man bites dog! Extra! Man bites dog!
Man bites dog! Man bites dog! Man bites dog!
[Ensemble:]
At last! At last!
A man bit a dog at last
And it seems to Heywood Brown
That the world is out of tune
That if things don't happen soon
We'll all be biting dogs next June
At last! At last!
A man bit a dog at last
And Mister Hearst has a chance
To kick the French in the pants
He says that the man who bit the dog was a native of France
And Winchell's all agog
He interviewed the dog
And he says that the pretty Pom
Is soon to become a mom
It's a dog you hate to be with
The kind you see with the rich
Not a great big manly he-dog
A little she-dog
A bitch!
Which gives us a headline off the beaten track:
A bitch bit a man and the man bit the bitch right back!

[Verse:]
I have seen each and ev'ry queen
In the fashion shows
I've seen them pose
In lovely clothes
But the best is the maiden dressed
In a costume made of mesh
Dressed in her new creation
She'll cause a big sensation
[Refrain:]
Maid of mesh
In a gown all made of mesh
All the boys are wild over you
Maid of mesh
In a plat'num setting
You will soon be getting
All the love and petting too
You'll find that Tommy, Harry, Freddy and Paul
Have tripped and slipped and now they're getting ready
Right from the start
Ev'ry fellow lost his heart
To the pretty little maid of mesh all made of mesh

[1st verse:]
Your smiling face is an open book, young man
We know that look, young man
You must be oh, so happy
It's just a case of love that took, young man
There are quite a few who envy you
[1st refrain:]
Lucky boy, she's a beautiful thing
Lucky boy, will you give her a ring
Lucky boy, we suppose in the Spring
You will take your pride and joy
On a train and her leather suitcase
Will contain bits of satin and lace
It's as plain as the nose on your face
How we envy you, lucky boy
[2nd verse:]
I must confess that you pave the way for me
You really say for me
The things I want to tell you
You'll never guess what a lucky day for me
When I found that she had chosen me
[2nd refrain:]
Lucky boy, she's a beautiful thing
Lucky boy, I'm as proud as a king
Lucky boy, when I give her the ring
Can't you see me jump with joy
With a cheer and a 'whatta we care'
We'll appear in a bungalow where
In a year, maybe three of us there
How we envy you, lucky boy

Love, you didn't do right by me
You planned a romance that just hadn't a chance
And I'm through
Love, you didn't do right by me
I'm back on the shelf and I'm blaming myself
But it's you
My one love affair didn't get anywhere from the start
To send me a Joe who had winter and snow in his heart
Wasn't smart
Love, you didn't do right by me
As they say in the song
'You done me wrong!'
[Alternate line for male:]
To send me a Jane who had thunder and rain in her heart

Love leads to marriage, that leads to divorce
That leads to lawyers, expensive, of course
Private detectives who watch all your moves
That leads to charges which nobody proves
If there are children you hear from the court
Father can't see them but pays their support
Love is the start of it, I want no part of it
Love leads to marriage, divorce and to lawyers
Detectives and charges, supporting love children
A youngster in school falls
And only a fool falls
In love

[Verse:]
Unpredictable, irresponsible
Unbelievable, unreliable
Ever since the world began
Are Cupid and the weather man
[Refrain:]
Love and the weather, birds of a feather
Can't be depended upon
One day it's sunny, next day the sunshine has gone
Love and the weather, always together
Planning another surprise
Bringing the raindrops just like the tears to your eyes
There was I with love close by
So cozy and warm
Love walked out and so did I
Right out of the warm
Into a storm
Moonlight romances have to take chances
That's what I learned with the dawn
Love and the weather can't be depended upon
[Alternate Final Strain:]
Moonlight advances, love's golden chances
Rain comes along and they're gone
Love and the weather can't be depended upon

[1st verse:]
In the heart of Cairo, the Sultan one day
Nearly lost his life when his horse ran away
Pat McCann, an Irishman, who happened to be there
Stopped the horse and saved the Sultan's life by a hair
The Sultan said 'I'll give you anything I can afford'
Patrick answered 'If you want to give me a reward
[Refrain:]
Lock me in your harem and throw away the key
Let me cuddle-uddle up to Rosie and May
Let me see the fat one who dances all the day
My eyes were made for seeing
Honest, I'm a human being
Down in your harem
There's Rosie, Josie, Posie
And I know that you could spare 'em
So won't you let me stay
Locked in the harem with the keys thrown away
[2nd verse:]
When the Sultan brushed off his clothes and could speak
He replied 'You're welcome to stay for a week'
Pat walked in the harem with a smile from ear to ear
Tho' the Sultan said a week, he stayed for a year
The morning after Pat came home his wife began to weep
He could not explain why he was singing in his sleep

[Horace:]
A little fish in a big pond has plenty of room to swim
But swimming around are big fish all ready to pounce on him
Back to his little pond he starts to roam
The little fish spreads his fins and begins to swim back home
That's me, a little fish in a big pond, all wrong
That's me, a little fish where a little fish don't belong
A little man in a big town gets butterflies in his dome
I'm ready to spread my fin and begin to swim back home
To the little pond where a little fish and a little man belong
[Maizie:]
A little fish in a big pond has gotta have lots of heart
For swimming around are big fish, but if he's the least bit smart
Back to his little pond he doesn't go
The little fish spreads his fins and begins to grow, grow, grow
That's you, a little fish in a big pond, all right
Me too, a little fish, but we gotta stand up and fight
A little man in a big town don't have to get out and roam
Stop taking it on the chin and begin to feel at home
In the bigger pond where the bigger fish and the bigger men belong

[1st verse:]
Butterfly, without a single care
You flit from here to there
Your heart is ev'rywhere
Fluttering about from boy to boy
Filling your heart with joy
Playing with each new toy
[Refrain:]
Butterfly, little butterfly
Flitting 'round from flow'r to flower
Each time you change your mind
You leave a lonely heart behind
You play your part with a new sweetheart
'Til you have him in your power
And then you flutter away
To leave him crying all day
Come back, little butterfly
[2nd verse:]
Butterfly, take warning while you may
Youth only lasts a day
Blossoms and fades away
There will come a morning when you'll cry
Poor little butterfly
You know the reason why

[1st verse:]
I'm so lonely, dear
Lonely, waiting here
Waiting for you in the gloaming
While you're far away
I long for the day
When you'll weary of your roaming
[Refrain:]
Listening, listening for you
All alone feeling kind o' blue
Listening
For a knock upon the door
Growing weary waiting for
Your returning, yearning
Missing you more and more each day
Wanting you more than I can say
Because there is nothing else to do
Just a lonely thing
Listening for you
[2nd verse:]
How I long for you
When the day is through
And the shades of night are falling
How I miss you dear
For I want you near
And I seem to hear you calling

[Verse:]
I don't think you know much about us
Except, of course, our famous Lichtenburg cheese
I know very well you enjoy it
And we would enjoy it too
But we can't afford it for we must have money
And so we send it to you
But Lichtenburg won't be offended
We'll manage to stay alive
We're not very touchy
This quaint little duchy
That somehow seems to survive
[Refrain:]
Too small to be a city
Too big to be a town
Too poor to have an army
And too easy to knock down
Too little to sell across the seas
Babies and cheese are our main industries
Too slow to please the young folk
Too fast to please the old
Too many who have copper pennies
Too few who have gold
But somehow we manage to play the game
While the other lands keep changing hands
Old Lichtenburg stays the same

[Verse:]
One minute to midnight, one minute to go
One minute to say good-bye before we say hello
[Refrain:]
Let's start the new year right, twelve o'clock tonight
When they dim the light, let's begin
Kissing the old year out
Kissing the new year in
Let's watch the old year die with a fond good-bye
And our hopes as high as a kite
How can our love go wrong if
We start the new year right?

Let's go west again
I won't rest again
Till we're west again, you and I
Let's go back where the skies are seldom gray
Where the sun goes the end of ev'ry day
Let's return again
How I yearn again
To return again, you and I
Don't forget there was someone who knew best
Said 'Go west, young man, go west'

[1st verse:]
[Ernesta:] Where can we go to pass the time away?
[Flint:] I know a very lively cabaret
[Hardacre:] You'll have to lead me to it, I'm a jay
[Steele:] Show me the sight of it, I'll make a night of it
[Strange:] Let's go 'round and take in the show
[Lilliburn:] I'm with you wherever you go
[Refrain:]
Let's go 'round the town
And where a band is playing
We'll go hip-hurrah-ing
And we'll turn things upside down
Our heads will grow dizzy
Keeping headwaiters busy
I promise you
We'll discover places that Columbus never found
Come on and drown your troubles in champagne bubbles
While we're going around the town
[2nd verse:]
[Ernesta:] I'd like to go and see the town a bit
[Flint:] I'd like to be where they're all doing it
[Hardacre:] I'd like to listen to the latest hit
[Steele:] I'd run a mile or two just for a smile or two
[Strange:] Let's go where they gladden the heart
[Lilliburn:] I'm with you whenever you start

There may be trouble ahead
But while there's music and moonlight (moonlight and music) and love and romance
Let's face the music and dance
Before the fiddlers have fled
Before they ask us to pay the bill, and while we still have THE chance
Let's face the music and dance
Soon, we'll be without the moon
Humming a different tune - and then...
There may be teardrops to shed
So (But) while there's music and moonlight (moonlight and music) and love and romance
(Let's face the music and dance, dance)
(Let's face the music - let's HEAR that music)
Let's face the music and dance

(Irving Berlin, Edgar Leslie & Geo. W. Meyer)
[1st verse:]
Peace has always been our pray'r
Now there's trouble in the air
War is talked of ev'rywhere
Still in God we trust
We're not looking for any kind of war
But if fight we must
[Refrain:]
It's up to you!
What will you do?
England or France may have your sympathy
Or Germany
But you'll agree
That
Now is the time
To fall in line
You swore that you would so be true to your vow
Let's all be Americans now
[2nd verse:]
Lincoln, Grant and Washington
They were peaceful men each one
Still they took the sword and gun
When real trouble came
And I feel somehow, they are wond'ring now
If we'll do the same

[Verse:]
What care I who makes the laws of a nation
Let those who will take care of its rights and wrongs
What care I who cares for the world's affairs
As long as I can sing its popular songs
[Refrain:]
Let me sing a funny song
With crazy words that roll along
And if my song can start you laughing
I'm happy, happy
Let me sing a sad refrain
Of broken hearts who love in vain
And if my song can start you crying
I'm happy
Let me croon a lowdown blues
That lifts you out of your seat
If my blues can reach your shoes
And start you tapping your feet
I'm happy
Let me sing of Dixie's charms
Of cotton fields and mammy's arms
And if my song can make you homesick
I'm happy
[Various alternate lines:]
Of broken hearts that loved in vain
To lift you out of your seat
If my song can reach your shoes
The Swanee shore and mother's arms

[Verse:]
'Pearls mean tears' is a saying old
Years ago it was found I'm told
In a legend I'll disclose
Here's how the story goes
Once a maid on her wedding day
Lost her love who had sailed away
His ship returning home
Disappeared in the angry foam
Beside the sea she sat and cried
A most unhappy girl
And ev'ry tear that fell below
Became a precious pearl
[Refrain:]
Strings of teardrops
That you and I call pearls
Fell from the eyes of a beautiful bride
Who sat and cried by the seaside
And when a
Crown of silver
Replaced her golden curls
She had spent all her years shedding sad little tears
Just to make your string of pearls

[Verse:]
There's a brand new step
That they call the strut
Listen, my dear, you'll make a dancing 'rep'
If you do the strut
Anyone here can do it
There's nothing to it
I know that you have done
Ev'ryone
Of the diff'rent dances
The waltz and the lanciers
[Refrain:]
You oughta learn to do the strut
You'd better leave your house or hut
Before the dancing halls are shut
And you will go right off your nut
'Bout that new step
That easy to do step
If you'll be led
I'll show you how it's done
Just throw back your head
And then
You step around just like a hen
To all the girls and dancing men
I wanna say just once again
It isn't hard to do so when
You've begun it
Don't stop till you've done it
A jazzy tune and pretty soon
You're gonna find yourself struttin' around

[1st verse:]
[Ernesta:] Tell me all about the game of love
All about the love I'm dreaming of
[Flint:] Ah, go on, ah, go on
I believe you're only fooling
[Ernesta:] I'm so very stupid at that game
Stupid Mister Cupid never came
[Flint:] Ah, go on, ah, go on
I'm afraid you need no schooling
[Ernesta:] I'd like to take a lesson from you
[Flint:] Just tell me what you want me to do
[1st refrain:]
[Ernesta:] Lead me, oh, lead me to love
[Flint:] Get away, get away, for I'm on to you
[Ernesta:] Come be my own turtle dove
[Flint:] Not today, not today, you will never do
[Ernesta:] Come here and Romeo me
[Flint:] I fear that you don't know me
[Ernesta:] I'll learn if you just show me how
[Flint:] Now?
[Ernesta:] Yes!
[Flint:] No!
[Ernesta:] Please help a poor lovesick miss
[Flint:] Let me look, let me look till I find a cure
[Ernesta:] I've never yet had a kiss
[Flint:] Get the hook, get the hook, she's an amateur
[Ernesta:] Loved I must be, dear
[Flint:] Why pick on me, dear?
[Ernesta:] Lead me
[Flint:] Go on
[Ernesta:] I want to be loved
[2nd verse:]
[Ernesta:] Take me in your arms and call me dear
Whisper little nothings in my ear
[Flint:] Don't you dare, don't you dare
Take advantage of a stranger
[Ernesta:] Listen to a maiden's earnest plea
Won't you come and flirt with lovesick me
[Flint:] I'm afraid, I'm afraid
I'm afraid to flirt with danger
[Ernesta:] I'd like to know just what it's about
[Flint:] I'll show you if the lights will go out
[2nd refrain:]
[Ernesta:] Lead me, oh, lead me to love
[Chorus:] Give her a kiss, give her a kiss while the lights are low
[Ernesta:] Come be my own turtle dove
[Chorus:] Watch your step, watch your step or you'll stub your toe
[Ernesta:] I'm sure when you will know me
You'll want to Romeo me
Come over here and show me how
[Flint:] Now?
[Ernesta:] Yes!
[Flint:] No!
[Ernesta:] Please help a poor lovesick miss
[Chorus:] Better look, better look till you find a cure
[Ernesta:] I've never yet had a kiss
[Chorus:] Get the hook, get the hook, she's an amateur
[Ernesta:] Kiss me, I'm anxious
[Flint:] Not while I'm conscious
[Ernesta:] Lead me
[Flint:] Come on
[Ernesta:] I want to be loved

[Verse:]
In a magazine I read
Where a certain author said
That Latins are lousy lovers
And it's a lie
A libelous lie
And who, tell me, who should know better than I?
[Refrain:]
Latins, they don't play baseball
They're not so good with a rake or a plow
They're not experts at making money
But when it comes to making love
A Latin knows how
Latins, they don't like farming
You seldom see Latins milking a cow
In the daytime, they're always sleeping
But in the night without much light
A Latin knows how
Englishmen and Yankees
They've got quite a lot
But that extra something
They just haven't got
Latins, they're so romantic
They've got more oomph than the law will allow
If you're married to a Latin
Life is just smooth as satin
For a Latin knows how

[1st verse:]
After the gray of a long dreary day comes the evening
Peaceful and calm as a sheltering palm is the evening
Daytime has gone to rest, there in the golden west
Soon little stars will appear in the sky
Seeming to say, 'We are here, hush-a-bye'
[Refrain:]
Evening, lady of the evening
I can hear you calling me
Calling, while the shades are falling
Falling over land and sea
You can make the cares and troubles
That followed me through the day
Fold their tents just like the Arabs
And silently steal away
Evening, lady of the evening
I hear you calling me
[2nd verse:]
After the sun when its day's work is done comes the evening
Then with the night comes the angels who light up the evening
There in the sky they stand, each with a torch in hand
Then one by one, little stars in the sky
Look down and say, 'We are here, hush-a-bye'

[Verse:]
I can feel my spirits change
In a manner very strange
It happens so unexpected
My temperature is affected
By the music of a band
I could never understand
Why each melody
Makes a change in me
So when I hear you asking
[Refrain:]
How do I feel? I'll answer you by saying
It depends a good deal on what the band is playing
As to whether I'm blue or I'm happy
It's up to the band
Why am I glad? I heard a jazzy melody
And why am I sad? It's 'cause they played the 'Rosary'
So whether I'm laughing or crying
It's up to the band
I want those sad musicians to play
But after they start
I feel like shouting 'Take 'em away
They're breaking my heart'
And then a
Rhythm that's new will give the gloomy tune a kick
And what do I do? I act just like a lunatic
And I'm not to blame for what happens
It's up to the band

[Verse:]
When Irish meets Irish
They will seldom disagree
There's a perfect understanding
Like a chord of harmony
They talk the same
And they walk the same
They think the same, they do
That's just why you fancy me
And I fancy you
[Refrain:]
Why do you love what I do?
It's the little bit of Irish
That's in your heart
When McCormack sings
Why do you shout with joy?
If a band should start
Playing an Irish rhythm
You'd go with 'em
Why do you speak as I do
With a little bit of brogue
From which you'll never part?
When you see a three leaf clover
Why do you smile all over?
It's the little bit of Irish in your heart
[2nd verse:]
When Irish meets Irish
Should they ever start a fight
They will leave it to a German
To decide which one is right
Lord help the Hun
The unlucky one
Who's picked out to decide
Hist'ry tells us that's just how
A thousand Huns died

[As sung in film:]
[Ladies:]
Ladies of the chorus
That's what we are, it appears
We were inducted and we took a vow
We joined the Army but look at us now
We're ladies of the chorus
Don't we look lovely, my dears
In corsets and dresses
And cute golden tresses
To hide the dirt behind our ears
[Lady 1:]
I was a plumber
I quit work last summer
My number come up at the start
[Lady 2:]
I was a printer
I quit work last winter
They okayed my lungs and my heart
[Lady 3:]
I was a farmer
Potato embalmer
They took me away from the plow
[Lady 4:]
I was a packer
I chewed plug 'terbaccer'
I wish I had some of it now
[Ladies:]
Oh, now we're in the chorus
Dressed up in girdles that squeeze
We're here to romance with
To sing and to dance with
A bunch of nerdy guys like these
[Guys:] Pardon me, but aren't you the country maiden?
[Gals:] Pardon me, but aren't you the city chap?
[Guys:] Cuddle closer won't you please
I'm about to take a squeeze
[Gals:] If you do then I will give your face a slap
[Guys:] I would love to take you home to meet my mother
[Gals:] I would like to meet your mother but I can't
[Guys:] She will treat you like a queen
[Gals:] But I'm only seventeen
[Guys:] If you are seventeen, then so's my aunt
[Gals:] Hi ho! I want you to behave
[Guys:] Hi ho! I think you need a shave
[Gals:] Do you think that you can get me into pictures?
[Guys:] If you're nice to me I'll get you on the screen
[Gals:] How about a movie test?
[Guys:] Not with hair upon your chest
[Gals:] And now it's time to dance but keep it clean

[Verse:]
There's dirty work to be done in the army
And it's not much fun
It's the kind of work that's done
Without the aid of a gun
The boys who work with the cooks in the kitchen
Holler out for peace
For they have to do the dirty work
And they're called the Kitchen Police
[Refrain:]
Poor little me
I'm a K.P.
I scrub the mess hall
Upon bended knee
Against my wishes
I wash the dishes
To make this wide world safe for Democracy

[1st verse:]
My little honey
I must be leaving
Be bright and sunny
Now don't be grieving
Just dry your tears, dear
It's not for years, dear
I'll soon return to you
[Refrain:]
Kiss me, my honey, kiss me
And say you'll miss me as I miss you
Love me, my honey, love me
Like stars above me
Say you'll be true while away ev'ry day
I'll be thinking of you
Dearie, now don't grow weary
Be bright and cheery, my honey do
So dear, before I go dear
Come here and kiss me, (Kiss, Kiss) honey I love you
[2nd verse:]
That same old moon, dear
That shines above us
Will see us soon, dear
As happy lovers
So don't you worry
For I will hurry
Right back and marry you

[Verse:]
Here's that man again waiting at your garden gate
With a bouquet, don't you send me away, have a little pity, Kate
Poor me, can't you see
I'm in an awful state?
[Refrain:]
How much longer must I wait, Kate
Till you let me know my fate, Kate?
The sun's down, the moon's out, there's no one in sight
My questions need answers, tonight is the night
Nine o'clock we had a date, Kate
I've been here since half-past eight, Kate
I came a little bit early, I couldn't wait
Have I come too early, too late?

[1st verse:]
In a garden fair a lily rare
Was loved by a blushing rose
They knew no woe he loved her so
With love that a flower knows
Until one day from o'er the way
A hand plucked the lily fair
The rose sighed and sighed
'Til one day it died
Nobody seemed to care
[Refrain:]
Just like the rose dear I loved you
Like the lily they stole you away
Just like the rose I adored you
Worshiped you night and day
Tonight all alone I am sighing
Sighing for sweet repose
Just like the rose, my love's dying
Dying just like the rose
[2nd verse:]
In a garden fair I wandered there
Sweet memories of the past
Came back to me so tenderly
Would if they could only last
The rose that sighed, and long since died
Seemed fresh from the morning dew
Then close to my breast
The sweet flow'r I pressed
And cried alas for you

[1st verse:]
Hold me fast for the time has passed
And we have to say goodbye
In my arms let me hold your charms
While the precious moments fly
How I hate to go, for I love you so
Let me gaze in your eyes and then
Lonely days till we meet again
[Refrain:]
Just a little longer
Let me hold you close to my heart
And that little longer
I'll remember while we're apart
Just another moment of bliss
And just another wonderful kiss
My love keeps growing stronger
Lingering longer with you
[2nd verse:]
Soon I know, I must let you go
From my arms where you belong
Leaving me with a memory
Of an interrupted song
It will linger on after you have gone
Hold me fast while we kiss and then
It's the last till we meet again

[Verse:]
When life catches up with the flaming youth
Someone tries to tell them the awful truth
I would send them ignorant on their way
To those little innocents I would say
[1st refrain:]
Don't worry so about the things that you don't know
When the time comes and you find yourself in love
It'll come to you, you'll know what to do, it'll come to you
Don't be concerned about the things you haven't learned
If you can't express just what you're thinking of
It'll come to you, you'll know what to do, it'll come to you
No one teaches a duck how to swim or a bird how to fly
They're not taught to do what they ought to do
Why should you and I?
Don't be afraid because you're such a bashful maid
When you're strolling 'neath the silv'ry moon
You may be shy but pretty soon
It'll come to you, you'll know what to do, it'll come to you
[2nd refrain:]
Don't start to plan to rebuff a fresh young man
When you're in a cab and he starts making free
It'll come to you, you'll know what to do, it'll come to you
Don't lie awake and think of answers you might make
When he starts to put his hand upon your knee
It'll come to you, you'll know what to do, it'll come to you
No one teaches a mule how to kick or a dog how to bite
They know what to do and what not to do
When they're out at night
Don't be undone because the first round has been won
He begins to think that you're a dunce
It seems you're lost, then all at once
It'll come to you, you'll know what to do, it'll come to you

[1st verse:]
It takes a German to make Lager Beer
It takes the French to make wine
It takes a pale-faced man from old Japan
To make a nice embroidered fan
It takes a Turk to make the cigarettes
For you American men
It takes a black-eyed Hawaiian lad
To make ukeleles, but then
[Refrain:]
It takes an Irishman to make love
It seems to fit them just like a glove
I know you money-makers are here in New York
But all the heart breakers are over in Cork
It is not the things that they do
But how they do them fascinates you
And when it comes to kissing sure they stand alone
For years they've practiced on the blarney stone
And you'll discover that the world's great lover
Came from Ireland
[2nd verse:]
You've heard them sing in all their Irish songs
'Ireland fell from the skies'
And I believe it's true, their eyes of blue
Are little bits of Heaven too
Talk of your gentlemen from foreign lands
And the polite things they do
But it's the honey-toned Irish voice
That steals the heart right out of you

It only happens when I dance with you
That trip to heaven till the dance is through
With no one else do the heavens seem quite so near
Why does it happen, dear, only with you?
Two cheeks together can be so divine
But only when those cheeks are yours and mine
I've danced with dozens of others the whole night through
But the thrill that comes with spring when anything can happen
That only happens with you

Two cheeks together can be so divine
But only when those cheeks are yours and mine
I've danced with dozens of others the whole night through
But the thrill that comes with spring when anything can happen

[1st verse:]
Happy, I'm so happy
I could throw myself away
Some peculiar something
Keeps my heart a-jumping
Both night and day
Say!
Stupid Mister Cupid
Went and pierced me thro' the heart
I've been fascinated
Simply captivated
Captured from the start
[Refrain:]
It isn't what he said
But the way he said it
Made me fall
He spoke of wedding bells
Until it seem'd the knot was tied
He described an automobile
And it was just as good as taking a ride
The way he spoke of love
Set my heart a-bouncing like a ball
He told me of a kiss last week
So natural, I could feel it on my cheek
It isn't what he said
But after he said it
I had to love him, that's all
[2nd verse:]
Clever, he's so clever
You could never understand
Ev'ry word they carry
In the dictionary
Is at his command
And!
Peaches are his speeches
They're the finest in the land
He'll describe a jewel
In a way that you will
Feel it on your hand

It gets lonely in the White House when your cares begin
And the White House is a big place to be lonely in
When you're all alone there staring into space
And you wish the man you ran against could be there in your place
It gets lonely in the White House when you've been attacked
By the loyal opposition getting in the act
If you make the wrong decision, when the final chips are down
The White House is the loneliest place in town
It gets lonely in the White House when you're sitting there
And you have to do your thinking in a rocking chair
When some exercise would keep you feeling well
But a journey to the golf course and the country's gone to hell
When the budget isn't balanced and you're in the red
And you feel it would be better to be dead than red
When your speech is optimistic but the stocks keep tumblin' down
The White House is the loneliest place in town

[Verse:]
Take a look at the flower in my buttonhole
Take a look say and ask me why it's there
Can't you see that I'm all dressed up to take a stroll?
Can't you tell that there's something in the air?
I've got a date, can hardly wait
I'd like to bet she won't be late
[1st refrain:]
Here she comes, come on and meet
A hundred pounds of what is mighty sweet
And it all belongs to me
Flashing eyes and how they roll
A disposition like a sugar bowl
And it all belongs to me
That pretty baby face, that bunch of style and grace
Should be in Tiff'ny's window in a platinum jewel case
Hey there, you, you'll get in dutch
I'll let you look but then you mustn't touch
For it all belongs to me
[2nd refrain:]
Here she comes, come on and meet
A hundred pounds of what is mighty sweet
And it all belongs to me
Rosy cheeks, red hot lips
And polished nails upon her fingertips
And it all belongs to me
Those lips that I desire are like electric wire
She kissed a tree last summer and she started a forest fire
I'm in love with what she's got
And what she's got, she's got an awful lot
And it all belongs to me
[Alternate line:]
A million dollars worth of flying hips

[Verse:]
The weather is fright'ning
The thunder and lightning
Seem to be having their way
But as far as I'm concerned, it's a lovely day
The turn in the weather
Will keep us together
So I can honestly say
That as far as I'm concerned, it's a lovely day
And everything's O.K.
[Refrain:]
Isn't this a lovely day
To be caught in the rain?
You were going on your way
Now you've got to remain
Just as you were going, leaving me all at sea
The clouds broke, they broke and oh! what a break for me
I can see the sun up high
Tho' we're caught in the storm
I can see where you and I
Could be cozy and warm
Let the rain pitter patter
But it really doesn't matter
If the skies are gray
Long as I can be with you it's a lovely day

[1st verse:]
Pretty young Mabel was helping her mother
Clearing the table and dressing her brother
Washing the dishes, feeding the fishes
As ev'ry girl should do
Johnny dropped in and soon made himself handy
Helping his Mabel dear
When all the work was thro' and nothing more to do
He whispered in her ear
[Refrain:]
Is there anything else that I can do for you?
Tell me do, come on and ask me to
I've got hours to spare, my dear, and then a few
Tell me Mabel, I'm able to do anything else
So don't you be afraid
Pretty maid, I've learned the tailor trade
And somehow I've been guessin'
That your lips need some pressin'
Tell me, dear, is there anything else?
[2nd verse:]
Pretty young Mabel could not see the joke, so said
'In the stable there's wood to be broke,' so
There was no stopping, John started chopping
Chopp'd for an hour or two
Soon work and Johnny became perfect strangers
He did the best he could
Calling his Mabel near, he whispered, 'Listen, dear
I'm not so strong for wood!'

Is he the only man in the world
That you will always love and adore?
Look just as good to you in the morning
As he did the night before?
Out of a hundred million or two
Is he the only one for you?
If he's the only man in the world come rain or shine
Then he's a man like mine
[Male version:]
Is she the only girl in the world
That you will always love and adore?
Look just as good to you in the morning
As she did the night before?
Out of a hundred million or two
Is she the only one for you?
If she's the only girl in the world come rain or shine
Then she's a girl like mine

[1st verse:]
I never envied the rich millionaires
I never wanted to have what was theirs
I never bother about their affairs
As the others do
All that I want is a chance to be glad
I've grown so tired of being so sad
There's only one thing I wish that I had
That's you, just you
[Refrain:]
If I had you
To just be around when I'm blue
A 'Four by Two' would be like a mansion on Fifth Avenue
I wouldn't change places with Carnegie!
And that goes for Rock'feller too!
They could keep all their troubles and 'Automobubbles'
If I had you
[2nd verse:]
I never envied those rich millionaires
Who sit around in their silk-covered chairs
Any old sofa with someone who cares
It would more than do
Just you and me and I'd want nothing more
Maybe a baby to play on the floor
I'd have a whole lot to be thankful for
If I had you

[1st verse:]
Innocent Bessie landed in the city
From Kankakee the sights to see
Fellows looked at her saying what a pity
She's from the farm meaning no harm
Ev'ry maiden, ev'ry gent
When discussing she
Said she must be innocent
'Cause she came from Kankakee
[Refrain:]
Innocent Bessie Brown
Wanted to see the town
Met upon the Avenue one afternoon fair
A fellow who said, ''Aven't you an hour to spare?'
So pretty
Innocent Bessie Brown
Went for an hour in town
And when the day was breaking they were still partaking
Of some fizzes of gin that fizzed within
Innocent Bessie Brown
[2nd verse:]
Bessie was stopping with her second cousin
Who was a beaut, cunning and cute
Fellows would call upon her by the dozen
Innocent Bess never could guess
Where her cousin got such toys
Diamonds more or less
'Twasn't long before the boys
Made a jew'lry store out of Bess
[2nd refrain:]
Innocent Bessie Brown
Dressed in a country gown
Bessie Brown was lonesome for a diamond or two
But since she met the city she could loan some to you
And she was
Innocent Bessie Brown
Lived in a country town
When Missus Morgan chubby, missed her darling hubby
She began talking war while hunting for
Innocent Bessie Brown

[Verse:]
Here and there a loving pair will go and share
A Morris chair to spoon
Jack and Jill preferred a hill and there's a thrill
Beneath the silv'ry moon
But there's only one place
For a lover's embrace
[Refrain:]
In the shade of a sheltering tree
That's the place for a couple to be
You will find that they always agree
In the shade of a sheltering tree
All the tales Adam whispered to Eve
Mother Eve simply had to believe
What was hers was his
The reason is they happen to be
In the shade of a sheltering tree

I may not sleep all night
But I'll be all right in the morning
I'll get right up and shout
When the sun comes out in the morning
It won't be long till the clock strikes eight
But just the same I can hardly wait
Those wedding bells will chime
Around breakfast time in the morning
A happy 'ding dong ding'
Will begin to sing as a warning
I've got the ring and she'll have a bouquet
And ev'rything is bound to be okay
With Malinda early in the morning

In our hide-away, far from all the fuss that bothers us
We'll hide-away, we two
In our hide-away, we'll be all alone, no telephone
To worry me or you
We will have a ball
Busy doin' nothing at all
In our hide-away, we will lock the door and throw away the key
What a holiday, our hide-away will be

[1st verse:]
Everybody sings of the sunny South
That's the song that clings to the singer's mouth
They ragtime it and boost the climate
Way up to the sky
Never cared a lot for the Swanee shore
There's another spot that I'm rooting for
I've been there and I must declare
It can't be praised too high
[Refrain:]
If I had my way, I'd always stay
In Florida among the palms
With its peaceful air of 'I don't care'
And lazy atmosphere that calms
My one favorite haunt
Is a palm tree, and all I want
Is someone just to rest in my arms
I'd love to live among the bamboo huts, the cocoanuts
There's something in the climate that charms
Heaven's corridor is sunny Florida
Home of the shelt'ring palms
[2nd verse:]
Florida was named very prettily
By the man who claimed its discovery
He spent hours among the flowers
And called it 'God's Land'
Nature seems to sigh 'it's my favorite'
That's the reason why Heaven gave her it
It was born from a diamond worn
Upon an Angel's hand

[1st refrain:]
What good is a fancy motorcar?
If you haven't got an ear for music, you haven't got a thing at all
What good is a ton of caviar?
If you haven't got an ear for music, you haven't got a thing at all
What good is a sack of gold
If a jazz band leaves you cold?
What good is a mansion large or small?
If you haven't got an ear for music, you haven't got a thing at all
[2nd refrain:]
What good is a sable or a mink?
If you haven't got an ear for music, you haven't got a thing at all
What good is that extra midnight drink?
If you haven't got an ear for music, you haven't got a thing at all
When I journey to the moon
I won't go without a tune
What good is a party or a ball?
If you haven't got an ear for music, you haven't got a thing at all
You haven't got a thing at all
You haven't got a thing at all

If I had my way, I'd live among the gypsies
If I had my way, that's where I'd love to stay
They'd call me 'nobody's child'
I'd hear the call of the wild
I'd love to stop at farms and stretch my arms
And breathe the new-mown hay
If I had my way, I'd travel with the gypsies
Where they laugh and play and ev'rything's okay
I'd love to give my face a coat of tan
Trav'lin' thru the country in a caravan all day
If I had my way

[1st verse:]
Mary Snow had a beau
Who was bashful and shy
She simply couldn't make the boy propose
No matter how she'd try
Mary grew tired of waiting
So she called her beau one side
While he stood there biting his fingernails
Mary cried:
[Refrain:]
If you don't want my peaches
You'd better stop shaking my tree
Let me say that you're mighty slow
You're as cold as an Eskimo
There's a thousand others waiting
Waiting to propose to me
So, if you don't want my peaches
You'd better stop shaking my tree
[2nd verse:]
Mary's Pa and her Ma
Soon came into the room
They took a look at Mary's beau and cried
'You ought to be a groom
Of course, it's none of our bus'ness
But she'd make a lovely bride'
He just answered 'I'll think it over' but
Mary cried:

[1st verse:]
There's no mistake that I can act
I'm talented and that's a fact
I know, because my mother told me so
She kept a house for actor folks
And listened to their funny jokes
So now I guess my mother ought to know
But managers are awful dense
It seems to me they have no sense
I know my darling mother wouldn't lie
She thinks I'm better than the best
But managers think I'm a pest
And all they say is, 'Go somewhere and die'
[Refrain:]
If the managers only thought the same as mother
You bet I'd show them all a thing or three
They'd have starred me in 'The Thief'
For it's mother's firm belief
Margaret Illington could never steal like me
If the Shuberts only took a tip from mother
I'd be starring like a star was never starred
Leslie Carter and that bunch
Would be at Childs serving lunch
If the managers only thought the same as ma
[2nd verse:]
My mother goes to all the shows
She knows what ev'ry woman knows
She knows Maude Adams knows a thing or two
But when she saw her in that play
She said to me that very day
'My child, she doesn't know as much as you'
So I got busy with my pen
And wrote to Charlie Frohman then
I asked him if he wouldn't star me quick
His answer nearly knocked me dead
For in his letter Charlie said
'I didn't even know that you were sick'
[2nd refrain:]
If the managers only thought the same as mother
I'd act like Sarah Bernhardt never did
Harry Miller would forget
Margret Anglin you bet
He would want me as his real supporting kid
If Frohman only took a tip from mother
He would label me as Frohman's only star
Missus Fiske would take a drop
To some Broadway candy shop
If the managers only thought the same as ma

[1st verse:]
Johnny took Geraldine out one night to show her a wonderful time
When they sat down in a Cabaret, he bought two cigars for a dime
'Bring us a couple of sodas' Johnny cried when the waiter drew near
After an hour Miss Geraldine whispered in Johnny's ear
[Refrain:]
If that's your idea of a wonderful time
Take me home, take me home
I want you to know that I'm choking
From that five cent cigar that you're smoking
You came out with a one dollar bill
You've got eighty cents left of it still
If that's your idea of a wonderful time
Take me home
[2nd verse:]
Johnny looked foolish and said 'My dear, the evening has only begun
I'll take you down to a picture show where we'll have a barrel of fun
I know the fellow who owns the place, I'll ask him to pass us inside'
Geraldine looked into Johnny's face, shaking her head, she cried

[1st verse:]
A maiden pretty from Jersey City
Paid a visit to some cousins out of town
She answered, 'Mercy' when cousin Percy
Said, 'I'd dearly love to show you all around'
Like bees a-buzzin'
She and her cousin
Were together ev'ry minute of the day
One night he kissed her, she shouted, 'Mister'
But he answered in a cute and cunning way
[Refrain:]
If I thought you wouldn't tell your mother
I would try and take one more
Promise not to tell your father or your brother
And I'll make it three or four
If I thought that you could keep a secret
I would keep you busy, Nell
I'd forget that I'm your cousin
And I'd take a half a dozen
If I only thought you wouldn't tell
[2nd verse:]
One evening early, he took the girlie
To a restaurant where drinks are often tried
He ordered porter, she ordered water
Then she said, 'I'll take a cocktail on the side'
She drank a dozen
Just then her cousin
Whispered, 'Dearie, don't you think we should go home?'
She answered, 'Later, please call the waiter'
Then she murmured in a rather husky tone
[2nd refrain:]
If I thought you wouldn't tell your mother
I would try and take one more
Promise not to tell your father or your brother
And I'll make it three or four
If I thought that you could keep a secret
I would take all they would sell
I'd forget that I'm your cousin
And I'd take a half a dozen
If I only thought you wouldn't tell

[1st verse:]
Far away out west in Texas
By the Rio Grande
There's a ranch of many acres on the prairie land
And I want you to be knowing
That's exactly where I'm going
In just a day or so
You'll see a satchel in my hand
[Refrain:]
I got-a go back, I got-a go back
I got-a go back to dear old Texas
To the ranch I left behind
And the girl who's on my mind
I couldn't remain, I'm taking a train
The Southern Pacific bound for Texas
I'm simply aching to skeedaddle
Upon a horse without a saddle
And ev'ry letter that I get from Texas
Is covered with a lot of Xes
I got-a go back, I got-a go back
To the girl I left behind
[2nd verse:]
Where the western sun is blazing
By the Rio Grande
I can see the cattle grazing on the prairie land
And it fills me with a yearning
That I ought to be returning
If you were ever there
I'm pretty sure you'd understand

I've got plenty to be thankful for
I haven't got a great big yacht
To sail from shore to shore
Still I've got plenty to be thankful for
I've got plenty to be thankful for
No private car, no caviar
No carpet on my floor
Still I've got plenty to be thankful for
I've got eyes to see with
Ears to hear with
Arms to hug with
Lips to kiss with
Someone to adore
How could anybody ask for more?
My needs are small, I buy them all
At the five and ten cent store
Oh, I've got plenty to be thankful for

[1st verse:]
Johnny Jones was a first class private
In the army last year
Now he's back to bus'ness in his father's place
Sunday night I saw him with a smiling face
When I asked why he felt so happy
Johnny chuckled with glee
He winked his eye and made this reply:
'Something wonderful has happened to me'
[Refrain:]
I've got the guy who used to be my Captain working for me
He wanted work so I made him a clerk in my father's factory
And bye and bye I'm gonna have him wrapped in work up to his brow
I make him open the office ev'ry morning at eight
I come around about four hours late
Ev'rything comes to those who wait
I've got my Captain working for me now
[2nd verse:]
He's not worth what I have to pay him
But I'll never complain
I've agreed to give him fifty dollars per
It's worth twice as much to hear him call me 'Sir'
While I sit in my cosy office
He's outside working hard
Out in the hall at my beck and call
With a feather duster standing on guard
[2nd refrain:]
I've got the guy who used to be my Captain working for me
He wanted work so I made him a clerk in my father's factory
And bye and bye I'm gonna have him wrapped in work up to his brow
When I come into the office he gets up on his feet
Stands at attention and gives me his seat
Who was it said 'revenge is sweet'
I've got my Captain working for me now
[Alternate Refrain:]
I've got the guy who used to be my Captain working for me
I gave him work where there's no chance to shirk
He's as busy as a bee
And bye and bye I'm gonna have him wrapped in work up to his brow
I had a small kitchen built in my Dad's factory
Now I have the Captain there doing K.P.
God has been awfully good to me
I've got my Captain working for me now
[Alternate Lines:]
He stood at attention, called me 'Sir'
He said, 'I can't get along on twenty-five per'
I gave him a look and said 'as you were'
[Some versions substitute 'beanery' for 'factory']

[1st verse:]
'Take me to the dentist right away'
Shouted little Johnny Jones one day
I've got a tooth that's hurting me and I simply can't delay
In about an hour he was there
Standing right beside the dentist's chair
And when they sat him inside
To the dentist, Johnny cried:
[Refrain:]
I've got a sweet tooth bothering me
Pull it out! Pull it out! Pull it out!
It isn't candy or molasses
It isn't honey, jam or cake
But when a sweet young lady passes
My tooth begins to ache
Like the dickens
I don't use sugar at all in my coffee or my tea
But when I meet Rosie, Flo or May
My wisdom tooth says, 'Keep away!'
But my sweet tooth starts bothering me
[2nd verse:]
Johnny hollered out, 'There's no one home
In the second story of my dome
Except a thousand ladies fair and it's like a honeycomb
Ev'ry night when I sit down to eat
First I have my oysters, soup and meat
And then my fav'rite dessert
Is the rustle of a skirt

[Verse:]
When the Sultan goes out on a spree
He presents me with the harem key
Ev'ry Turk in Turkey envies me
For I've got the best job in Turkey
[Refrain:]
I'm the guy who guards the harem
When the Sultan goes away
I'm a conscientious Turk and my heart is in my work
The Sultan tells me that I earn my pay
While he's gone I keep them happy
And it keeps the wheels a-working in my knob
If the Sultan ever saw the way I guard his harem, he
Would go out and engage someone to stand guard over me
I'm the guy who guards the harem
And I wouldn't take a million for my job

I'm sorry for myself
So sorry for myself
Someone I love said good-bye
And no one's sorry for me that's why
I'm so sorry for myself
I'm blue as I can be
My man walked out on me
I'd go home and end it all
But fourteen stories is an awful fall
I'm so sorry for myself
I'm feeling mighty sad
I never looked so bad
I have lost my appetite
Couldn't eat my second steak last night
I'm so sorry for myself
So very blue am I
I wish I could die
Wish I had a nasty cough
I'd buy a gun but then it might go off
I'm so sorry for myself
I soon could end my woes
Down where the river flows
I would jump right in the sea
But no one may be there to rescue me
I'm so sorry for myself

I'm beginning to miss you
When you're away
Ev'ry moment that we're apart
I'm beginning to want you
When you're away
And the wanting comes from my heart
I used to think that knowing you could never mean a thing
But now I stay home waiting for the telephone to ring
I'm beginning to love you
How do I know?
From the way I miss you when you're away

[Verse:]
I've heard about you
Each word about you
That ev'ryone has spoken
And from the things I hear
I should be careful, dear
They come and find me
And then remind me
Of all the hearts you've broken
But I'm in love with you
So what am I to do?
[Refrain:]
I'm playing with fire
I'm gonna get burned
I know it, but what can I do?
I know my heart must be content to go
Where it is sent, although
I may repent when I'm through
But what can I do?
I'm playing with fire
I'm gonna get burned
While merry-go-rounding with you
But I go for my ride
With my eyes open wide
I'm playing with fire
I know it, but what can I do?

[1st verse:]
I was blue and melancholy
And I knew that it was folly
To be feeling so sad
When I ought to be glad
So I sent a little letter
Off it went, I'm feeling better
Got an answer today
Ev'rything is okay
[Refrain:]
Why is the sun shining brighter?
I'm on my way home, I'm on my way home
Why is my heart feeling lighter?
I'm on my way home, I'm on my way home
Why did I buy something nice at the store
Something that she'll adore?
Can't you guess who it's for?
It's for someone with hair growing whiter
Who's happy because I'm on my way home
[2nd verse:]
Not so sweet are things that you chew
When you eat upon a 'choo-choo'
They keep opening cans
I've got different plans
When it's time to go to supper
I'll just climb into an upper
Till the morning and then
I'll start eating again
[Patter:]
I've been shopping and I'll put you wise
I've got packages of ev'ry size
Here's a half a dozen knitted ties
For my brother and another
Here's a parasol that's very plain
For my pretty little sister Jane
Here's a nifty little walking cane
For my father but I'd rather
Tell you what
But there's one package more
That I bought at the store
Can't you guess who it's for?
It's for someone with hair growing whiter who's happy because
I'm on my way home

[1st verse:]
Jack McCoy, a soldier boy
Was taken from the battle wounded
A pretty red cross nurse
Was there to see that he wouldn't get worse
From the start she won his heart
So when he started to get better
He called her to his side
And in a pleading voice he cried
[Refrain:]
Don't make me love you because I'm not prepared
My heart is weak and I'm a trifle scared
Oh, can't you see I'm in a bad condition
With no ammunition
So please don't attack me with those bewitching eyes
Each time your fingers touch my wrist, I can't resist
I fear that I must surrender
You've got me in your power
I'm weak'ning ev'ry hour
For when I gaze into your great big eyes
It seems my temp'rature begins to rise
Please don't make me love you
Because I'm not prepared
[2nd verse:]
Jack cried out, 'There is no doubt
If you continue your attack, dear
You'll soon capture my fort
Then I'll be left with a wife to support
That won't do, I'm warning you
It won't be easy for your Jack, dear
To raise a family
Upon a soldier's salary'

[Verse:]
This world of ours is ever changing
The hands of time keep rearranging
With ev'ry change I'm right on the beat
Won't let the grass grow under my feet
[Refrain:]
I'm marching along with time
I'll be marching from time to time
For I'm not gonna let the parade go by
You know that time marches on and so do I
One day I changed my horse
For a motor and now, of course
I'll be changing my car for a plane to fly
You know that time marches on and so do I
There'll be a change in music
A change in rhythm
A change in dancing
But I'll be right with 'em
Watch me and you will find
That I just won't be left behind
Father Time marches on with his head up high
And so do I

[Verse:]
I'm so worried, oh, so worried
I can't sleep a wink at night
I've lost my appetite
And it's all on account of my height
I'm a Yankee, long and lanky
And that's where the trouble lies
For a little lovin' my heart cries
But I can't find a man my size
[Refrain:]
I'm looking for a daddy long legs
Who's gonna measure up to me
A little fellow has the wrong legs
To have me sitting on his knee
I had a sweetheart short and thin
And when the spooning would begin
He was there standing on a chair
But he'd only get as far as my chin
I want a daddy who can teach me
The kind of love I can't resist
I want a daddy who can reach me
When I get ready to be kissed
I want a nice young man to woo me
But I don't want a man that has to climb up to me
It's gonna take a daddy long legs
To love a long-legged lady like me

[1st verse:]
'Over there' in France
In a big advance
Little Johnny stood the test
Johnny held his ground
Now he struts around
With a medal on his chest
There's a happy look in his eyes
And ev'ry now and then he cries:
[Refrain:]
I'm gonna pin my medal on the girl I left behind
She deserves it more than I
For the way she said 'goodbye'
You should have seen her try to keep away the tears that blind
A braver hero
Would be hard to find
She puts a smile in ev'ry letter she signs
But I can read what's in her heart between the lines
And when I get back
Yes, when I get back
I'm gonna pin my medal on the girl I left behind
[2nd verse:]
When the boys come home
From across the foam
To the girls they love the best
There'll be more than one
Little Yankee son
With a medal on his chest
When the drive is over this Spring
A lot of soldier boys will sing:

[Verse:]
When I was a kid
And I wanted a doll I got it
Don't ask how I did but when I was a kid
And I wanted a doll I got it
I carefully laid out a plan
When I were a kid 'twas a doll
And now it's a man
[1st refrain:]
I'm gonna get him, I'm gonna get him
Instead of giving up and throwing in the towel
I'm gonna keep on fighting fair or foul
Until I get him, I'm gonna get him
I'm gonna wear my jewels and my ermine wrap
And if I have to drop my shoulder strap
I'm gonna get him, I'm gonna get him
And when I've got him where I think he oughta be
I'm gonna love him, love him
My mission in life will be to love him until he loves me
[2nd refrain:]
I'm gonna get him, I'm gonna get him
I'll back him in a corner till he squirms and twists
And if I must put handcuffs on his wrists
I'm gonna get him, I'm gonna get him
He'll know the facts of life and when he understands
I'll put a shotgun in my father's hands
And that'll get him, I'm gonna get him
And when I've got him where I think he oughta be
I'm gonna hug him, hug him
I'll hug em and if I have to slug him
He's gonna love, he's gonna love, he's gonna love me
[Alternate Verse:]
When you were a kid
And you wanted a doll you got it
Don't ask how you did but when you were a kid
And you wanted a doll you got it
You carefully laid out a plan
When you were a kid 'twas a doll
And now it's a man

[1st verse:]
Nellie Brown, stenographer
Working on the second floor
Writing letters for a man named Kelly
Kelly's wife, a lady thin
Calls around, is ushered in
Sees her husband fondly kiss Miss Nellie
Next morning Kelly whispered in Nell's ear
She left the office singing loud and clear
[Refrain:]
I'm going on a long vacation
Oh you railway station
First in years so give three cheers
Yea bo, yea, hurray, hurray
Ev'rybody in creation
Needs some recreation
My boss guessed I need some rest
Yea, I'm going away
[2nd verse:]
Nellie told the office boy
He replied with shrieks of joy
Then went in and said to Mister Kelly
'Nellie told me where she'd go
I can tell your wife you know
Don't you think I better go with Nellie?'
Next week the office boy and Nellie Brown
Were holding hands and singing out of town

[1st verse:]
Down into town with a grip on his arm
Boob, Mister Rube landed in from the farm
He came to see if the farmer was right who said
'This is the life'
Soon like a loon, he was dancing about
One week of fun had him all tired out
They asked him what he thought of the city
And they heard old Reuben shout
[Refrain:]
Dancing around till the break of the day
Never was meant for a Reuben or a Jay
I've seen it all and I'm ready to say
I'm going back to the farm
Cabaret life is an awful disgrace
I've checked my hat till I'm blue in the face
I've handed out a fortune for a
Prince Albert and an old Fedora
I love the cows and chickens
The chickens you love to eat
Not those you have to treat
I'm going back to the farm
[2nd verse:]
Si said goodbye for he couldn't remain
Thought that he ought to be taking a train
Glad that he had just enough for a ticket to
Take him back home
When home again all the neighbors appeared
Ate until late, when the table was cleared
He told them what he thought of the city
As he gently milked his beard
[2nd refrain:]
Dancing around till the break of the day
Never was meant for a Reuben or a Jay
I've seen it all and I'm ready to say
I'm going back to the farm
Cabaret life is an awful disgrace
I've checked my hat till I'm blue in the face
I went to wash my hands with water
I had to give the boy a quarter
What good are Broadway chickens
With beautiful fancy legs
'Less they can lay some eggs
I'm going back to the farm

[Verse:]
Out on a hike all day, dear
Part of the army grind
Weary and long the way, dear
But really I don't mind
[Refrain:]
I'm getting tired so I can sleep
I want to sleep so I can dream
I want to dream so I can be with you
I've got your picture by my bed
'Twill soon be placed beneath my head
To keep me company the whole night through
For a little while, whatever befalls
I will see your smile till reveille calls
I hope you're tired enough to sleep
And please sleep long enough to dream
And look for me for I'll be dreaming too

[1st verse:]
You know my Uncle Jeremiah
Who disappeared a month ago
We got a letter from Hawaii
And I declare, my uncle's there
The atmosphere set him on fire
It simply went right to his head
What do you think he wrote
In his little note?
This is what he said
[Refrain:]
I'm down in Honolulu looking them over
I'm down in Honolulu living in clover
Try and guess the way they dress
No matter what you think it is, it's even less
Their language is hard to understand because it's so tricky
I've got them teaching me to say 'wicky wicky'
I don't know what it means but it's the best that ever was
And if it means just what I think it does
I'll be in Honolulu looking them over for a long, long time
[2nd verse:]
My brother said 'It's very nifty
Our Uncle's got the right idea'
Although my brother's very thrifty
He sent a wire to Jeremiah
He said 'I'll go you fifty fifty
With ev'ry Hula girl you see'
My brother nearly died
Uncle just replied
Please don't bother me

[1st verse:]
'A fool there was,' said Smith to Gray
'And that same fool was me
Not satisfied with bach'lor bliss
I took a wife, you see'
Said Gray to Smith, 'You're crazy man
Why married life is fine
I have the dearest little wife
And let me say for mine'
[Refrain:]
I'm a happy married man
Yes I am, yes I am
Married life was made for me
I wouldn't choose another
Betch yer life I love my wife
Love my wife with all my life
I'm a happy married man
My wife lives with her mother
[2nd verse:]
I hate to hear the married men
Complaining all the time
One would imagine married life
Was anything but fine
They don't appreciate the wife
Who helps to make life gay
But far be it for me to frown
I mean it when I say

[1st verse:]
[Tony:] I lik-a you, Marie
[Marie:] I lik-a you, Tony
[Tony:] We gonna mak-a marriage soon
[Marie:] Mak-a da nice-a honeymoon
[Tony:] After I marry you
[Marie:] What are you gonna do?
[1st refrain:]
[Tony:]
I'll tak-a you back with me
Back to sunny Italy
[Marie:]
That's where I would like to be
In the old country
[Tony:] Across the sea
[Marie:] No more you make the organ grind
[Tony:] I leave the org' behind
[Marie:] I'll cook spaghetti
[Tony:] That's very good, Eddie
[Marie:] The nice Italian kind
[Tony:] We'll raise-a da family
[Marie:] They will look like you and me
[Tony:] How many we have, Marie?
[Marie:] One, two or three
[Tony:] Plenty enough for me
[Marie:]
What will we do with the monk'? They'll never let him pass
[Tony:] We'll give the monk to Missus Vernon Cas'
[Both:] And sail back to sunny Italy
[2nd verse:]
[Tony:] We'll have a little wop
[Marie:] Someone to call you 'pop'
[Tony:] He'll look-a like his daddy did
[Marie:] Gee! but he'll be a homely kid
[Tony:] We'll call-a him Tony
[Marie:] Maybe he'll be a she!
[alternate lines in 2nd REFRAIN:]
[Tony:] We'll tell-a da family
[Marie:] They must never cross the sea
[Tony:] The money in this country
[Marie:] Is not so free
[Tony:] As it's supposed to be
[Marie:]
We'll say the barber shop business, it never pays
[Tony:] Ev'ryone here, they use the safety raz'
[Both:] So we came to sunny Italy

[1st verse:]
We talked it over
'Neath a cloudy sky
Love's dream was ended
And we said goodbye
You decided just as I did
That it could not go on
I'm lonely for you only
And now that you are gone
[Refrain:]
I wonder
If you still remember
I wonder
If you could forget
I often wonder
If it's really over
Or if you love me
Just a little bit yet
I wonder
If you ever miss me
I wonder
If you're ever blue
I wonder when
We'll meet again
And I wonder if you wonder too
[2nd verse:]
I miss the evenings
That we spent alone
The sweet 'good mornings'
On the telephone
How I yearn to just return to
The days beyond recall
And the kisses that you gave me
I miss them most of all

[Verse:]
[Fred:] Here she comes, down the street
[Bing:] My, oh my, ain't she sweet?
[Fred:] Why, here comes my hot toddy
[Bing:] Over my dead body
[Refrain:]
[Bing:] I'll capture her heart singing
[Fred:] Just wait until she gets a load of my dancing
[Bing:] Just wait till I start singing
[Fred:] I'll take her strolling down the road with my dancing
[Bing:]
I can't go wrong, a tender song and she'll discover my charms
[Fred:]
Some fancy taps and she'll collapse and fall right into my arms
[Bing:] I'll capture her heart singing
[Fred:] Oh no, you haven't a chance when I go into my dance
[Bing:] I'll take you through life singing
[Fred:] I'll make you my wife dancing
[Patter:]
[Dale:]
If you could dance instead of sing
I'd learn to love you somehow
If you could sing instead of dance
I'd take you home with me now
The way you sing don't mean a thing
You'd better stick to your dance
And as for you, your dance won't do
You'll have to sing for romance
[Bing:] I'll capture her heart...
[Fred:] I'll capture her heart...
[Bing:] Singing!
[Fred:] Dancing!
[Lyrics from sheet music:]
[Verse:]
Crosby sings pretty swell
Fred Astaire dances well
I'm that combination
That's my reputation
[Refrain:]
I'll capture your heart singing
And then I'll take you down the road with my dancing
Just wait till I start singing
And wait until you get a load of my dancing
I can't go wrong, a tender song and you'll discover my charms
And then some taps and you'll collapse and fall right into my arms
I'll capture your heart singing
And then we'll start a romance when I go into my dance

[Verse:]
I never cared about the drama
The drama always got my 'hammer'
I came from sunny Alabama
Home of the Minstrel show
I think revues are always 'bloomers'
They all depend upon costumers
You can have the plays
That are all the craze
At two dollars a throw
[Refrain:]
I'd rather see a minstrel show
Than any other show I know
Oh! those comical folks
With their riddles and jokes
Here is the riddle that I love the best
'Why does a chicken go...?' You know the rest
I'd pawn my overcoat and vest
To see a minstrel show

[Verse:]
I haven't ambitions for lofty positions
That wind up with the wealth of the land
I'll give you the throne that a king sat on
For just a small baton
Providing you included a band
[Refrain:]
If I could be the wealthy owner of a large industry
I would say, 'Not for me'
I'd rather lead a band
If I could be a politician with a chance to dictate
I would say, 'Let it wait'
I'd rather lead a band
My ev'ry care ceases
I'm rich as old Croesus
When I've got ten pieces
In hand
If I could have a millionairess with a whole flock of banks
I would just whisper 'Thanks
I'd rather lead a band'
[2nd refrain:]
Give me a band, yes sir
And not a thing lesser
To be that professor
Is grand
If Josephine had left Napoleon and climbed in my lap
I'd say, 'Go back to Nap'
I'd rather lead a band
[Patter:]
A saxophone, a slide trombone
A bass fiddle and a drum
A guy at the piano who makes it hum
A violin, a clarinet
A hot trumpet and guitar
And me with the baton and there you are

[Verse:]
I'm tired of doing the same things over and over again
You must admit that it's a bore
I keep longing for a change
Something different, something strange
That we have never done before
[Refrain:]
I'd love to be shot from a cannon with you
Now that's something diff'rent that I'd like to do
We'd float through the air in a way that
I never could forget the day that
I was shot from a cannon with you
I'd love to be caught in a mousetrap with you
We're hungry and so there is one thing to do
We'd soon hear a couple of mouses
Yell out, 'They ate our cheese, the louses!'
When I'm caught in a mousetrap with you
I'd love to escape a hotel room with you
We'd open the window and quickly jump through
And just when we get to the bottom
The cameraman says, 'Cut! I got 'em!'
When I'm in a hotel room with you

I'd like my picture took
What do I have to do to get my picture took?
Who do I have to be to get my picture took with you?
I'd like to spark with you
Having a plate develop in the dark with you
Nothing I wouldn't do to get my picture took with you
Me sittin' down, you standin' up
Lookin' at the birdie will be fun
Hands in my lap, yours on your chest
Just like Napoleon
And someday we'll take a look
Into a fam'ly album or a mem'ry book
'Stead of a boring evening, we'll be laughing at
The picture that I took with you

[Verse:]
[She:]
The Tom, Dick or Harry that I ever marry
Will have to be a dancer
Before he gets my answer
[He:]
I'm not much at dancing but as for romancing
I know a thing or two
[She:] But that would never do
[He:] Why wouldn't it?
[Refrain:]
[She:]
I wouldn't give 'that' for the man who couldn't dance
If only a little bit
He'd have to take a chance
For when the band starts playing a lively air
That's when he'll have to be there
With a light fantastic, very elastic
I wouldn't waste one little tiny little glance
No matter how very much
He spoke about romance
He may be handsome, wealthy
Full of personality
I wouldn't give 'that' for the man
Who couldn't dance with me

[1st verse:]
I saw you, Molly, walking with your sweetheart
And I only looked and wished that I was he
You looked so swell, I couldn't help but wonder
If a gal like you would ever fall for me?
I know he thinks the world and all about you
Well I wish I had the chance to think so too
He wouldn't be the same old boy without you
Gee, it must feel great to have a gal like you
[Refrain:]
I wish that you was my gal, Molly
I only wish I was your beau
To feel that you was my pal, Molly
Would mean an awful lot I know
It isn't right I know to tell you
But what's a fellow goin' to do?
I wish that you was my gal, Molly
I only wish you loved me too
[2nd verse:]
Come, tell me why you started crying, Molly
Did I hurt your feelings? Tell me if I did
I didn't mean to knock your other sweetheart
On the level, I am awful sorry, kid
I told my mother just how much I love you
It was her that made me go to you and tell
So, let me be your pal, if not your sweetheart
When you marry, I'll be there to wish you well

[1st verse:]
I was born in Michigan
And I wish and wish again
That I was back in the town where I was born
There's a farm in Michigan
And I'd like to fish again
In the river that flows beside the fields of waving corn
A lonesome soul am I
Here's the reason why:
[Refrain:]
I want to go back
I want to go back
I want to go back to the farm
Far away from harm
With a milk pail on my arm
I miss the rooster
The one who useter
Wake me up at four A.M.
I think your great big city's very pretty, nevertheless
I want to be there
I want to see there
A certain someone full of charm
That's why I wish again
That I was in Michigan
Down on the farm
[2nd verse:]
You can keep your cabarets
Where they turn nights into days
I'd rather be where they go to bed at nine
I've been gone for seven weeks
And I've lost my rosy cheeks
That's the reason I'd rather have the country life for mine
My thoughts are far away
That's just why I say:

I used to play it by ear
That wonderful thing called love
I never believed I'd fall in love, not me
I used to think that those who kissed and ran away
Would live to kiss again
Another day
I used to laugh at romance but now that I know the score
But now that the one I've waited for is here
I know that this is the song the angels sing
This is the 'once-in-a-lifetime' thing
This is the real McCoy and it's crystal clear
What's deep in your heart
Can't be played by ear

[Verse:]
You'll say it's a dream, a lovely dream
I say it happened, strange as it may seem
[Refrain:]
I spoke last night to the ocean
I spoke last night to the sea
And from the ocean a voice came back
'Twas my Blue Jacket answering me
Ship ahoy
Ship ahoy
I can hear you, Sailor Boy
I threw a kiss in the ocean
It floated out on the sea
And from the ocean a kiss came back
'Twas my Blue Jacket answering me
[Coda:]
Ship ahoy
Ship ahoy
Ship ahoy, Sailor Boy, ship ahoy

[Verse:]
We must keep smiling and play the game
While life keeps hurrying on
For there was trouble before we came
'Twill be here after we're gone
So we'll just have to prepare
To snap our fingers at care
[Refrain:]
Long as there's you, long as there's me
Long as the best things in life are free
I say it's spinach and the hell with it
The hell with it, that's all!
Long as I'm yours, long as your mine
Long as there's love and a moon to shine
I say it's spinach and the hell with it
The hell with it, that's all!
There must be rain to pitter-patter
Things don't come on a silver platter
What does it matter?
Long as there's you, long as there's me
Long as the best things in life are free
I say it's spinach and the hell with it
The hell with it, that's all!

I poured my heart into a song
And when you hear it please remember from the start
You won't be hearing just the words and tune of a song
You will be listening to my heart
I poured my heart into a song
And I'm afraid the words I chose were not so smart
I couldn't think of clever things to say in my song
I had to say it with my heart
If it's never played on the hit parade
It will still contain a heart that is beating true
If it's not a hit I won't mind a bit long as it
Conveys the love that I bear for you
Here is my heart wrapped in a song
And if you take it please don't tear my song apart
For if you do you won't be just destroying a song
You will be tearing up my heart

[Verse:]
I said to my Uncle Sam
Old Man Taxes, here I am
And he
Was glad to see me
Mister Small Fry, yes, indeed
Lower brackets, that's my speed
But he
Was glad to see me
[1st refrain:]
I paid my income tax today
I never felt so proud before
To be right there with the millions more
Who paid their income tax today
I'm squared up with the U.S.A.
See those bombers in the sky?
Rockefeller helped to build 'em, so did I
I paid my income tax today
[2nd refrain:]
I paid my income tax today
A thousand planes to bomb Berlin
They'll all be paid for and I chipped in
That certainly makes me feel okay
Ten thousand more and that ain't hay
We must pay for this war somehow
Uncle Sam was worried but he isn't now
I paid my income tax today
[3rd REFRAIN with coda:]
I paid my income tax today
I never cared what Congress spent
But now I'll watch over ev'ry cent
Examine ev'ry bill they pay
They'll have to let me have my say
I wrote the Treasury to go slow
Careful, Mister Henry Junior, that's my dough
I paid my income tax
Now you've got all the facts
I know you'll pay your taxes too

(Words by Elsie Janis, Music by Irving Berlin)
[1st verse:]
How short the days that we spent together
How long the hours since you went away
The world might still be a golden daydream
Had I known then what I know today
[Refrain:]
I never knew
How much I loved you
I never knew
What love could mean
I never knew
I would regret dear
The Golden Days
That might have been
I never knew
I could be lonely
I never knew
I could feel blue
I never knew
How much I'd want you
Until I knew someone else wanted you
[2nd verse:]
We miss the flow'rs when the snow is falling
We miss the sun when the skies are grey
The sweetest dream soon becomes a mem'ry
A golden mem'ry of yesterday

[1st verse:]
Come sit beside me darling May, and look into my eyes
It seems as tho' 'twere yesterday I won you for my prize
The hand of time has turned your golden locks to silv'ry gray
The silver threads have drawn you closer to my heart each day
[Refrain:]
You were my queen at sweet sixteen
You're my queen at sixty-three
Your eyes that shone with gladness then
Still hold their charms for me
And as I gaze into your eyes, there's one thing I must say
You're still the same sweet darling girl
And I love you more each day
[2nd verse:]
You cheered me up when I was blue, you laughed when I was gay
When trouble came you were the same, you turned night into day
You never measured what you gave by what you thought I'd give
You're still my little sweetheart, and I'll love you while I live

[1st verse:]
I don't go out nights
I'm not about nights
I'll tell you why I never roam
I love my home, so cozy
The dizzy night life may be the right life
But I don't like that kind of fun
At night when my work is done
[Refrain:]
I just love to stay at home in the evening
When the winter nights are cold
I love to sit around the fire harmonizing
'Darling, I am growing old'
While Mother darns my father's woolen hosiery
He's telling yarns of how he fought in 'sixty-three'
I don't envy the cocktail sippers
Give me my carpet slippers
For I love to stay at home
[2nd verse:]
My cousin Mary
She's a canary
Each night she sings the Rosary
It sounds to me like Melba
When Uncle Louie who looks like Dewey
Recites 'The picture on the wall'
It's simply Heaven, that's all

[1st verse:]
Honey, cuddle near!
Come on over here
Pick a fuss with me
Pick a fuss with me!
There's a reason, my dear
Try and make me cross
Act just like a boss!
Pick a fuss with me
Pick a fuss with me
My honey, because
[Refrain:]
I love to quarrel with you
Making up is so nice
I love to make you cry
To kiss the tears away from your eye
I'm wild about you!
Can't live without you!
That's just the reason why I tease you
I love to hear myself saying
'I didn't mean it
I didn't mean it!'
When I've had a quarrel with you
[2nd verse:]
Honey, ain't it nice
To be cold as ice?
To be cold and then
To get warm again
Gee, it's nicer than nice!
Say that I'm to blame
I will say the same
Let's get mad and then
Let's make up again
It's all in the game

[1st verse:]
When I was a Baby
I used to sit on my Daddy's knee
When I was a school girl
The fellows always appealed to me
My Dad said 'Don't scold her
She'll change when she's older'
But strange to say
To this very day
I've never changed
[Refrain:]
I love to have the boys around me
Around me all the time
I'm never happy till I'm with the men
Then I'm happy till we meet again
I simply couldn't live without them
There's something makes me wild about them
All kinds
The very large and very small kinds
I love to have them chasing me
Embracing me
All of the time
[2nd verse:]
I'm hoping for Heaven
But let me tell you in any case
If boys aren't up there
I want to go to the other place
I never will marry
A Tom, Dick or Harry
Just one, you see
Wouldn't do for me
I love them all

[1st verse:]
I'm always losing something ev'ryplace I go
Just why, I don't know
And it worries me so
Last year I lost a diamond ring that used to shine
And the other day while trav'ling
Below the Mason-Dixon line
[Refrain:]
I lost my heart in Dixieland
Where the cotton grows
And the Swanee flows
I lingered long enough to see
That a home in Dixie
Would appeal to me
There's something real
About the people there
They make you feel
So welcome ev'rywhere
I went out walking with a Tennessee Kid
She kissed me and the minute she did
I lost my heart in Dixieland
[2nd verse:]
I'm going back to Dixie and look for my heart
You and I must part
I'm all ready to start
Send all my mail to Dixie, that's where I am bound
I may stay down there forever
Because my heart may ne'er be found

I like Ike
I'll shout it over a mike
Or a phone
Or from the highest steeple
I like Ike
And Ike is easy to like
Stands alone
The choice of 'We the People'
A leader we can call
Without political noise
He can lead us all
As he led the boys
Let's take Ike
A man we all of us like
Makes no deals
His favors can't be curried
And Uncle Joe is worried
'Cause we like Ike
[Alternate last lines:]
Tried and true
Courageous, strong and human
Why, even Harrry Truman
Says, 'I like Ike'

[Verse:]
Old Mister Absent-Minded, that's me
Just as forgetful as I can be
I've got the strangest sort of a mind
I'm always leaving something behind
[Refrain:]
I left my heart at the Stage Door Canteen
I left it there with a girl named Eileen
I kept her serving doughnuts
Till all she had were gone
I sat there dunking doughnuts
Till she caught on
I must go back to the army routine
And every doughboy knows what that will mean
A soldier boy without a heart
Has two strikes on him from the start
And my heart's at the Stage Door Canteen

[1st verse:]
What'll I do? What'll I do?
I'm just as sad as can be
Something awful happened to me
What'll I do? What'll I do?
I'm in a terrible plight
Like a great big fool I did
A very silly thing last night
[Refrain:]
I left my door open and my daddy walked out
Without a doubt
Worried am I
Wondering why
He never stopped to say 'goodbye'
I can't live without my lovin' daddy about
That's why I shout
He must come back or I'll lose my mind
A good man's mighty hard to find
He must have some lovin' now and then
Maybe that will bring him back again
I'm gonna keep my door wide open
Till my daddy comes back
[2nd verse:]
What'll I do? What'll I do?
I'm in a terrible rage
Like a bird, he flew from his cage
Daddy of mine, send me a line
Say that you'll come back to me
When you do I'll lock the door
And try my best to lose the key

I keep running away from you
A week, a month or a day from you
But all the time I'm away from you
You are there by my side
The further away, the closer you stay by my side
I keep leaving you far behind
I try to banish you from my mind
I run away but I always find
You are there by my side
The further away, the closer you stay by my side
I try doing without you
But wherever I go
I keep taking you with me
And that worries me so
I keep running away from you
A week, a month or a day from you
But all the time I'm away from you
You are there by my side
The further away, the closer you stay by my side
Yes, the further I fly, the closer you're by my side

[1st verse:]
'Who is that down below
A-pounding on my door?'
Said Liza Green, 'It's downright mean
To wake me from a pleasant dream!'
'It's Bill!' came the reply
'Come back to say goodbye!
I overlooked it when I left
That's just the reason why'
[Refrain:]
I just came back to say, 'Goodbye!'
Let me explain
I won't remain
Besides, you see, I don't know when
I may have time to call again
Been cooking honey? I smell stew!
Don't look so cross
I know you're boss!
Just tell me how
You're feeling now
And then I'll say 'Goodbye'
[2nd verse:]
'It's blowing up out here
I'll catch a cold I fear!
Now Liza please don't stand and tease!
How can you see your William freeze?'
But Liza said, 'Go 'way!
Come 'round some other day'
Then, as she closed the window down
She heard poor William say:

[1st verse:]
[Johnnies:]
We've been busy running after you
Hoping that you'll part
With a corner of your heart
[Julia:]
That is something I will never do
I could not divide my heart and give it to a few
[Refrain:]
I have just one heart
It's for just one boy
I mean to keep it until someday
When he comes along then I'll give it away
It is plain to see
I'm not fancy free
I have just one heart for one little boy
Who has one little heart for me
[2nd verse:]
[Johnnies:]
Till you meet him, have a little fun
Just a little kiss
He will never, never miss
[Julia:]
All my kisses, ev'ry single one
I am nursing, no rehearsing, tho' it's being done

[1st verse:]
[Lilliburn:] I couldn't love you if I tried for years
[Ernesta:] I never asked you to
[Lilliburn:] I think that you're the cause of all my fears
[Ernesta:] I think the same of you
[Lilliburn:] There's quite a lot I despise about you
[Ernesta:] I'm very sorry that we met
[Lilliburn:] I'll get along very well without you
[Ernesta:] You'd be very easy to forget
[Refrain:]
[Lilliburn:] I hate the very ground you walk upon
[Ernesta:] I hate your great big eyes of blue
[Lilliburn:] I hate the very phone you talk upon
[Ernesta:] I don't give a rap for you
[Lilliburn:] I hope you never do
[Ernesta:] I hate the color of your curley hair
[Lilliburn:] I hate the clothes you wear all through
[Ernesta:] Then besides I must hate someone
And it might as well be you
[2nd verse:]
[Lilliburn:] You're not the girl I'd want to be my wife
[Ernesta:] I'd never marry you
[Lilliburn:] You don't mean anything in my young life
[Ernesta:] I never wanted you
[Lilliburn:] I hate your dress just because you wear it
[Ernesta:] I hate the place where you reside
[Lilliburn:] Don't ever fret, you will never share it
[Ernesta:] Rest assured I'll never walk inside

[1st verse:]
Jack and May were newly-wed, a loving pair were they
Until the other day, when Jack said to his May:
'Tonight I have to talk some bus'ness with some bus'nessmen
But rest assured that I'll return at ten'
That night he left the flat, and simple wifey sat
Up with the cat for Jack who never came
The day was dawning when he rambled home again
And said: 'My darling, please let me explain':
[Refrain:]
I heard the clock strike
One A.M.
One A.M.
One A.M.
It told me of my promise when I left you in the hall
Before I knew 'twas
Two A.M.
Three A.M.
Four A.M.
But you know I promised to be home at ten
So I didn't go home at all
[2nd verse:]
Jack remarked, 'It's eas'ly seen that I'm not all to blame
My explanation's tame, it's true tho' just the same
Much rather than disturb you from your slumber so divine
I lingered just to pass away the time
And then again you see, I didn't take the key
Which proves that my intentions were the best
I even said a pray'r that you might not despair
Besides I knew how much you needed rest':
[3rd verse:]
Jack had been forgiven and the future seemed so bright
Until the other night, his May was not in sight
She went to see a sick friend but had promised to come back
At sixty minutes after nine, to Jack
At sixty minutes past next morn she came at last
Her op'ning speech was 'I've been with my friend
Because they said she'd die, I wanted to be nigh
And so I waited for the coming end':

I could say that you're homely
Just as homely as pie
But this is Washington's Birthday
And I've got to say you're beautiful
'Cause I can't tell a lie
I could say that you're stupid
Nothing up in your crown
But this is Washington's Birthday
And the truthful he
Of the cherry tree
Would look down on me
And frown
I could say that I hate you if I try
But I've got to say I love you
'Cause it's February the twenty-second
And I can't tell a lie

[1st verse:]
Broadway, Broadway, I've a message from a friend across the foam
From someone who loves you dearly
Tho' he's miles away from home
Kind applause is not his cause
Because I know he loves you true
I'll feel better when I read his letter
Here's the words he wrote to you:
[Refrain:]
I beg your pardon, dear old Broadway
For list'ning to a foreign song
I thought I'd find a street with which you could compete
I only found that I was wrong
My hat's aloft to you, old Broadway
You're in a class alone today
And if I thought for a minute that the others were in it
Won't you pardon me, Broadway?
[2nd verse:]
Broadway, I too said goodbye to all the sights across the sea
Joy! once more for soon I saw
The Statue of Old Liberty!
Hand in air, she greets you there
To drive away all care and pain
Joy smiles at you, while the great big statue
Seems to say, 'Never again!'

[1st verse:]
A fellow with his lady friend walking and talking of love
A moon that has a silvery lining is shining above
The girlie says you certainly do like to coo like a dove
A nervous youth
A jealous miss
Who wants the truth
Is asking this:
[1st refrain:]
How many times have you said, 'I love you'?
How many times have you said, 'I'll be true'?
How many wonderful sweeties have you told that to?
How many times has a certain feeling
Troubled you so that you 'hit the ceiling'?
How many hands have you held all alone?
How many lips have you pressed to your own?
I'd hate to think that you kissed too many
But I'd feel worse if you hadn't kissed any
Please tell me how many times
[2nd verse:]
A certain thing has puzzled me greatly, just lately, my dear
Why does a fellow always get stupid when Cupid is near?
Although I was the smartest at college that knowledge, I fear
Could never bring
A Romeo
The only thing
He wants to know
[2nd refrain:]
How many sighs have you sighed in my ear?
How many lies have you whispered, my dear?
How many baby blue eyes have you gazed right into?
How many loving words have you spoken?
How many promises have you broken?
How many times have you left me alone
Told me had business and yet you come home
I know where you were because I saw you
And I got home just a minute before you
Oh, baby, how many times?

[1st verse:]
Mabel Brown came to town
All dress'd up in her gingham gown
And a ribbon in her hair
In her eyes a vacant stare
Joined a show, wrote her beau
Mabel wanted to let him know
She was earning, so to speak
Twenty dollars a week
Her beau came down to New York town
To see his Mabel dear
The minute that he saw her flat
He whispered in her ear
[Refrain:]
How do you do it, Mabel, on twenty dollars a week?
Tell us how you are able on twenty dollars a week
A fancy flat and a diamond bar
Twenty hats and a motor car
Go right to it but how do you do it
On twenty dollars a week?
[2nd verse:]
Mabel's beau couldn't go
Hung around for a week or so
Till he'd written on a pad
All the things that Mabel had
When he'd spent ev'ry cent
Right to Mabel he quickly went
For a small financial loan
Then he started for home
Each girl he met down home, you bet
He told them all he saw
Next day a mob were on the job
At Mabel's flat to roar
[2nd refrain:]
How do you do it, Mabel, on twenty dollars a week?
Tell us how you are able on twenty dollars a week
We'd like to work in the chorus too
Earn our twenty the same as you
If we knew it, we'd willingly do it
On twenty dollars a week

How can I tell you what is in my heart?
How can I measure each and every part?
How can I tell you how much I love you?
How can I measure just how much I do?
How much do I love you?
I'll tell you no lie
How deep is the ocean?
How high is the sky?
How many times a day do I think of you?
How many roses are sprinkled with dew?
How far would I travel
To be where you are?
How far is the journey
From here to a star?
And if I ever lost you
How much would I cry?
How deep is the ocean?
How high is the sky?

[1st verse:]
When the morn bids me rise
And I open my eyes
I begin with a sweet thought of you
Then the rest of the day
While at work or at play
I'm thinking, just thinking of you
[Refrain:]
How can I forget
When there's so much to remember?
Your smiling face, your fond embrace
Your voice so sweet and tender
After all these years
I'm afraid I love you yet
When there's so much to remember
How can I forget? How can I forget?
[2nd verse:]
Through the heart-breaking years
I have smiled through my tears
To have met you is well worth the pain
Though we've drifted apart
You'll remain in my heart
As long as my heart will remain

The Army this, the Army that
Is all we heard from where we sat
Now how about a cheer for the Navy?
The Army's great, the Army's tough
But don't you think we've heard enough?
So how about a cheer for the Navy?
We know that Mister Stimson is solid as the rocks
But how about an orchid for Secretary Knox?
The Army may be in the groove
But Walter Winchell won't approve
Unless you give a cheer for the Navy
Hip hip hooray
We haven't got long to stay
So how about one bouquet
For the Navy?
One word of praise, let it flow from your lips
One cheer and then we'll go back to our ships
Hip hip hooray
The Army has had its say
You're letting them get away
With the gravy
Just let them know
That an Army show
Could never be a hit without the Navy
The Army's what you may prefer
But in the social register
Is where you'll have to look for the Navy
If you would like to touch the gilt
Of Astor or of Vanderbilt
You'll have to come around to the Navy
The show was in the alley, it simply wouldn't do
Until the big finale with Navy white and blue
The Army sails across the foam
The Navy always bring them home
So how about a cheer for the Navy?
[Coda as sung in film:]
Give a cheer, give a cheer, give a cheer, give a cheer
For the Navy
Just make it clear
That a rousing cheer
Is very much in order for the N-A-V-Y
The Navy
Navy

[Verse:]
I'm so tired of working in an office
And it's making me blue
There is work that don't require an office
That I'm anxious to do
[1st refrain:]
Homework, I want to do homework
Instead of an office, I want to work home
Staying at home and crocheting
And meekly obeying
The guy who comes home
A cozy kitchen to be in there pitchin'
Is the thing I'm longing to do
To be there learning when a steak needs turning
And just what goes into a stew
Homework, I want to do homework
A genius who sits and plans with pots and pans at home
A genius who bakes a pie that keeps a guy at home
[2nd refrain:]
Homework, I want to do homework
Instead of an office, I want to work home
Messing around with French dressing
And slightly impressing
The guy who comes home
I long to settle with a steaming kettle
And a frying pan and a pot
And be the keeper of a carpet sweeper
That's the one ambition I've got
Homework, I want to do homework
A genius who has a way that makes him stay at home
A genius who has what takes that makes or breaks a home
[3rd refrain:]
Homework, I want to do homework
Instead of an office, I want to work home
Patching his trousers and matching
The part that keeps scratching
The guy who comes home
A table wiper who can change a diaper
Is the thing I'd like to be best
And be the master of a mustard plaster
When the cold goes down to his chest
Homework, I want to do homework
A genius who does her part so he don't start to roam
A genius who earns her keep that makes him sleep at home

[1st verse:]
When you've packed your grip for a homeward trip
And you've started for the train
There's a feeling grand of a happy brand
That you really can't explain
All aboard you hear with a welcome ear
As the train speeds o'er the ground
There's a happiness that you can't express
When you're homeward bound
[Refrain:]
Happy, happy, happy, happy
When you're homeward bound, homeward bound
That's the time you love the rattle
Of the choo-choo hound, o'er the ground
Doggone, how lovely it feels
To hear those rattling wheels
It's the grandest kind of sound
All aboard, all aboard, step lively
Happy, happy, happy, happy
When you're homeward bound, homeward bound
As you travel on your way
The rhythm of the engine seems to say
We're getting nearer to it
We're getting nearer to it
When you're homeward bound
[2nd verse:]
I have tried to doze but my eyes won't close
Can't you guess the reason why?
When the clock strikes ten, I'll be home again
Never more to say Goodbye
I don't like the jar of the Pullman car
As it speeds along the ground
Still a Pullman berth is the best on earth
When you're homeward bound

[1st verse:]
I feel very blue, yes I do, can't you tell
Worry quite a lot 'cause I'm not feeling well
Friends have come to me, saying 'We can see
You need company' but I'm not lonely
I'm only
[Refrain:]
Homesick, I know just what's the matter
I'm homesick, that's all
I see that cozy little shack and the little red school
Daddy on the back of a funny old mule
'God Bless our Home' on the wall
The fields of clover
They seem to say
'Why don't you come over
Pay us a call'
I miss the cows and the chickens and the apple tree shady
And there's that little old lady
Do you wonder why I'm homesick
[2nd verse:]
My poor heart will stop when I hop off the train
Such a happy soul when I stroll down the lane
I can't wait till then to be there again
In the twilight when the sun is setting
I'm getting

(Irving Berlin and Harry Akst)
[1st verse:]
I've been known to be a rolling stone for many years
Now alone, I sit around and moan when night appears
Thoughts of my home fill me with regrettable tears
Ev'ry year Oh! how I long to hear a bit of news
Friends appear to offer words of cheer but I refuse
Pack up my trunk 'cause I've got those home again blues
I'm going
[Refrain:]
Home, knock at the door
Home, just like before
Roam, never no more
No place like
Home
Oh! what a song
Home, where I belong
Oh! I've got those home again blues
[2nd verse:]
I can't wait until I reach that gate and home I see
Sure as fate I know they're gonna wait to welcome me
I want to state that that's the end of my mis'ry
If I knew I'd ever feel so blue I'd never roam
But it's true we learn a thing or two away from home
I'm telling you I've ceased to be a rolling stone
I'm going
[Patter:]
When I left home I didn't have a cent
I wasn't broke but I was badly bent
I didn't have a single dime to count
And now I'm going home with the same amount
My letters read that daddy's doing fine
And that my brother's working overtime
With all that money rolling in the shack
Ain't nobody living can hold me back
Feet, just you hear my pray'r
Don't you weaken till you do your share
I've gotta heartache
I wanna partake
Of all the joys that's waiting there
I'm going

[1st verse:]
I got da husband he's so lazy
Sleep all da time and he make me crazy
Seven o'clock he's still in bed, dead
Good-a-ness me but he make-a me sore-a
Like-a da cannon he make da snore-a
Every morning, I
Got to wake him up and cry
[Refrain:]
Hey, wop
It's seven o'clock, get up
Sleep-a no more, sleep-a no more
You wake-a da kids when you make-a da snore
Hey, wop
Go to the barbershop
Take-a da razor and make-a da skip
Shave-a da face and collect-a da tip
What's dat?
You want your breakfast brought in da bed
Shut up, wop
I think you got the swell-a da head
You can sleep just as much as you like when you're dead
It's seven o'clock, get up
[2nd verse:]
While I get up and put on my clothes-a
He sing an opera through his nose-a
All-a da kids they holler 'Pop, shut up'
When he begin to make da snore-a
All-a da neighbors who live next door-a
Holler, 'Holy Mose!
Put a clothes pin on his nose'

[1st verse:]
Miss Lena Kraussmeyer with hair red as fire
Last Saturday went to a ball
There stood Mister Herman, a sweet little German
The best that was dressed in the hall
The music played dances like ragtime and lanciers
But no one would go on the floor
So quickly the band played a waltz that was grand
A waltz that made sweet Lena roar
[Refrain:]
Herman let's dance to the tune of that beautiful waltz
Now listen you German, I'm talking to you
I'll do something dear you don't want me to do
So come on take a chance and I'll know that your love isn't false
A feeling that's healing comes stealing while spieling
That beautiful, beautiful waltz
[2nd verse:]
I heard that a coon who heard Mendelssohn's tune
Kissed the first man she saw, if it's true
That very same feeling I feel on me stealing
And Herman I'm looking at you
So close both your eyes, make believe you ain't wise
Only pucker your lips into place
Think of five hundred meld or a sweet Anna Held
While I kiss the hole in your face

[Verse:]
Whether we elect a G.O.P.
Or the man who comes from Albany
We'll remain O.K.
In a business way
Looking at the future we can see
[Refrain:]
Good times with Hoover
Better times with Al
Blue skies with Hoover
Bluer skies with Al
Prosperity does not depend on who's in the chair
We're bound to have prosperity no matter who's there
So we'll have
Good times with Hoover
Better times with Al
[2nd refrain:]
Good times with Hoover
Better times with Al
Blue skies with Hoover
Bluer skies with Al
They tell us that the future will be rosy and bright
But they don't have to tell us, we admit that they're right
That we'll have
Good times with Hoover
Better times with Al

[1st verse:]
Hiram Perkins sittin' by the fire
Talking to his wife
Hollered out, 'Now look-a here, Maria
A farmer's life was never meant for our son
The boy is almost twenty-one
I've been closely watching him of late
And something's gotta be done'
[Refrain:]
He's getting too darn big for a small town
He ought to be in New York
He has seen a champagne cork
He's even eating with his fork
He knows at least a dozen of 'troopers'
He's got a tie from Siegel and Cooper's
And his name stamped on the inside of his hat
Think-a that, think-a that!
Down there on Broadway is the place where he belongs
He knows 'Bedelia' and the other latest songs
He's got a watch with an open crystal
And a walking cane with a pistol
He's getting too darn big for a one-horse town
[2nd verse:]
Hiram Perkins bought a railroad ticket
On the B. and O.
When they warned him New York town was wicked
He said, 'I know, but then my boy can hold his own
Of late he's actin' too high-tone'
Why, he combs his hair three times a day
He even uses cologne'

[1st verse:]
Down in Alabama where the cotton grows
Lives a funny fellow by the name of Mose
He hasn't anybody he can pick upon
So he picks on a grand piano
Morning, noon and night you'll find him picking rags
I don't mean the kind of rags they put in bags
He doesn't own a junk shop
Just the same
[Refrain:]
He's a rag picker, a rag picker
All the livelong day
He bangs upon the piano keys
In search of raggy melodies
All day he's at the ivories
And while he dozes, he composes
Mister Moses makes an ordinary ditty sound so pretty
Like nobody can
Most any time of the day
You'll find him picking away
He's a rag picker, a rag picker
A ragtime picking man
[2nd verse:]
Moses' father told me that upon the morn
When his little piano playing boy was born
They didn't have a cradle they could put him in
So he slept on the grand piano
In a week they found him there upon his knees
Chewing on the highly polished piano keys
That very day his father
Loudly cried

Grant Clarke and Irving Berlin)
[1st verse:]
I've got an uncle by the name of Jerry
He's got a farm, a great big farm
Two thousand acres of the very, very
Best land in the whole United States
He's got a reputation in the village
Known as a dude, a gosh darn dude
He would never do in New York City
But in his home town
[Refrain:]
He's a devil, he's a devil
He's a devil in his own home town
On the level, on the level
He's as funny as a clown
He spends a five cent piece, thinks nothing of it
His pants all creased, red vest above it
And when it comes to women, oh! oh! oh! oh!
He's a devil, he's a devil
Telling stories in a groc'ry store
On the level, on the level
Has 'em rolling on the floor
Down at the fair with all the other heckers
He received first prize for playing checkers
And he cheated
Can you beat it?
He's a devil in his own home town
[2nd verse:]
He's got an overcoat that's fine and furry
Gold-headed cane that came from Spain
They've even got him saying 'I should worry'
Just like all the sporty city folks
You ought to see the way he spends his money
He bought a box of hole-proof socks
They would never do for New York City
But in his home town

[1st verse:]
Kindly stop that music from playing, 'Oh Promise Me'
Because it makes me sad, so sad
It brings back to my memory
Years and years of misery
Thoughts of one who promised me
A love I thought I had
[Refrain:]
He promised me that someday he would marry me
He promised me a beautiful home
One down by the sea
He promised that he'd pay
For the wedding day
On the first of May
Then he moved away, and all he left
Were the promises he promised me
[2nd verse:]
Sealskins, autos, dresses and diamonds he promised me
And told me that someday he'd pay
My ringless fingers know he's gone
All my rings he put in pawn
Even took the tickets on
The day he moved away

[Sheet music version:]
[Verse:]
I know a professor of great renown
And he is the loneliest man in town
He's as smart as a man can be
But he never has company
Why is he the loneliest man in town?
[1st refrain:]
He ain't got rhythm
Ev'ry night he sits in the house alone
'Cause he ain't got rhythm
Ev'ry night he sits there and wears a frown
He attracted some attention
When he found the fourth dimension
But he ain't got rhythm, so no one's with 'im
The loneliest man in town
A lonely man is he
Bending over his books
His wife and family
Keep giving him dirty looks
'Cause he ain't got rhythm
When they call him up, it's to call him down
With a daring aviator
He encircled the equator
But he ain't got rhythm, as no one's with 'im
The loneliest man in town
[2nd refrain:]
He ain't got rhythm
Ev'ry night he sits in the house alone
'Cause he ain't got rhythm
Ev'ry night he sits there and wears a frown
With a problem scientific
He's colossal and terrific
But he ain't got rhythm, so no one's with 'im
The loneliest man in town
A lonely man is he
Bending over his books
His wife and family
Keep giving him dirty looks
'Cause he ain't got rhythm
When they call him up, it's to call him down
In the month of January
He compiled a dictionary
But he ain't got rhythm, as no one's with 'im
The loneliest man in town
[As sung in film (more or less):]
[Alice Faye:]
What are you studying?
[1st Co-Ed:]
Psychology
[Alice Faye:]
And you, dear?
[2nd Co-Ed:]
Philosophy
[Alice Faye:]
Well, don't take it too seriously because
I know a professor of great renown
[Co-Eds:]
Yes?
[Alice Faye:]
And he is the loneliest man in town
[Co-Eds:]
Really?
[Alice Faye:]
He's as smart as a man can be
But he never has company
[Co-Eds:]
Why is he the loneliest man in town? Huh?
[Alice Faye:]
He ain't got rhythm
[Co-Eds:]
[Alice Faye:]
Ev'ry night he sits in the house alone
'Cause he ain't got rhythm
[Co-Eds:]
Too bad!
[Alice Faye:]
Ev'ry night he sits there and wears a frown
He attracted some attention
When he found the fourth dimension
But he ain't got rhythm, so no one's with 'im
[All:]
The loneliest man in town
[Alice Faye:]
A lonely man is he
Bending over his books
[Co-Eds:]
He would!
[Alice Faye:]
His wife and family
[All:]
Keep giving him dirty looks
[Alice Faye:]
'Cause he ain't got rhythm
When they call him up, it's to call him down
In the month of January
He compiled a dictionary
But he ain't got rhythm, so no one's with 'im
The loneliest man in town
[All:]
He's lonely, he's lonesome
And he's all by his 'own-some'
The loneliest man in town
[The Professor:]
I know every planet up in the sky
I've measured them all with my naked eye
I've seen everything up in Mars
I know all about falling stars
But still I'm a very unhappy guy
I wonder why
[Professors:]
You ain't got rhythm!
[The Professor:]
I can read the tea leaves in my cup
[Professors:]
But you ain't got rhythm!
[The Professor:]
And I just found out how high is up
[Professors:]
But you ain't got rhythm!
[The Professor:]
I discovered once while sober
Where the flies go in October
For what I found out about the flies
I got the Nobel prize
[Professors:]
But you can't do the Charleston
And you don't know how to do the Black Bottom, the new rhythm
[The Professor:]
Heaven, I see Heaven
Through my telescope while gazing from Mount Wilson's highest peak
I'll explain it all in Latin or in Greek
[Professors:]
But you're not so hot while dancing cheek to cheek
[The Professor:]
I've mastered relativity
[Professors:]
But when they have festivity
[The Professor:]
They'll never think of asking me
[Co-Eds:]
Don't you wonder why?
[Professors:]
'Cause you don't know how to do the rhumba
That's the reason you're a lonely guy
[The Professor:]
Ah, love!
Venus is lovely tonight and so is Jupiter
[Professors:]
Jupiter's skipping from planet to planet
[The Professor:]
Jumping Jupiter!
[Professors & Co-Eds:]
But you couldn't be stupider
'Cause you ain't got rhythm
[The Professor:]
Why, I discovered liquid air
[Professors:]
But you ain't got rhythm
[The Professor:]
And I've a cure for falling hair
[Professors:]
But you can't get hot
[The Professor:]
What?
[Professors & Co-Eds:]
No, you can't get hot
[The Professor:]
What?
I'm a scientist to my fingertips
[Professors:]
But you can't do nothing with your hips
[Co-Eds:]
And that's the thing we miss
[The Professor:]
You mean this?
[Professors & Co-Eds:]
Yes! He's got it! He's got it!
He's got it! He's got it!
The man's got rhythm!

[Verse:]
Em'ralds in my bracelets and diamonds in my rings
A Riviera chateau and a lot of other things
And I'm blue, so blue am I
Lots of ready money in seven diff'rent banks
I counted up this morning, it's about a million francs
And I'm blue, so blue, and I know why
[Refrain:]
I've got Harlem on my mind
I've a longing to be lowdown
And my 'parlez-vous' will not ring true
With Harlem on my mind
I've been wined and I've been dined
But I'm heading for a showdown
'Cause I can't go on from night to dawn
With Harlem on my mind
I go to supper with a French Marquis
Each evening after the show
My lips begin to whisper 'Mon Cheri'
But my heart keeps singing 'Hi-de-ho'
I've become too darn refined
And at night I hate to go down
To the high-falutin' flat that Lady Mendel designed
With Harlem on my mind
[Transcript of Ethel Waters' version:]
[Verse:]
Em'ralds in my bracelets, diamonds in my rings
A Riviera chateau and a lot of other things
And I'm blue, so blue am I
Lots of ready money in seven diff'rent banks
I counted up this morning, it was 'bout a million francs
And I'm blue, so blue, and I know why
[1st refrain:]
I've got Harlem on my mind
And I'm longin' to be lowdown
And my 'parlez-vous' will not ring true
With Harlem on my mind
I've been dined and I've been wined
But I'm headin' for a showdown
'Cause I can't go on from night to dawn
With Harlem on my mind
I go to supper with a French Marquis
Each evening after the show
My lips begin to whisper 'Mon Cheri'
But my heart keeps singin' 'Hi-de-ho'
I've become too damned refined
And at night I hate to go down
To that high-falutin' flat that Lady Mendel designed
With Harlem on my mind
[2nd refrain:]
I've got Harlem on my mind
And I'm longing to be lowdown
And my 'parlez-vous' will not ring true
With Harlem on my mind
I've been dined and I've been wined
But sure as your born I'm headin' for a showdown
'Cause I can't go on from night to dawn
With Harlem on my mind
And when I'm bathing in my marble tub
Each evening after the show
I get to thinkin' 'bout that Cotton Club
And my heart starts chirping 'Hi-de-ho'
Help me!
I've been too damned refined
And at night I hate to go down
To that flat with fifty million Frenchmen taggin' behind
With Harlem on my mind

[1st verse:]
For ev'ry care there's an angel
Who makes the care seem small
For ev'ry pray'r there's an answer
For One Who answers all
[Refrain:]
The flowers pray'd for sunshine
So God gave the flowers the Sun
The birds pray'd to be merry
So God gave a song to each one
The trees pray'd for the Springtime
So God gave the Spring to each tree
My lonely heart pray'd for someone
So God gave you to me
[2nd verse:]
For ev'ry heart there is gladness
When eyes are wet with tears
For ev'ry care there's an answer
From One Who always hears

[1st verse:]
While trav'ling through Turkey in my dreams
I chanced to stray
Right into a harem and it seems
They let me stay
I spoke to the Sultan's favorite wife
Before I fled
I asked her how she liked harem life
Here's what she said
[Refrain:]
Living in a harem, what a life
Ne'er a thought of care or strife
Waiting on the Sultan night and day
Ever ready to obey
He keeps me dancing morning, noon and night
Dancing fills 'im with delight
I am black and blue from the dance I do
But outside of that ev'ry little thing's all right
[2nd verse:]
I wanted to know how many wives
The Sultan had
She answered each day a wife arrives
Fresh from Baghdad
How did he continue on that plan
So many years?
She answered 'He's just a poor old man
With young ideas'
[Patter:]
Eight of the Sultan's wives are we
And there are a whole lot more
Weekdays he marries two or three
And Sundays he marries four
He has a hundred agents who
Lead very busy lives
Keep him supplied with wives
And now we'll tell in rhyme
Just how we spend our time
Ev'ry morning to his bed I bring his toast and tea
I prepare his bath for that's the job he gave to me
I massage his brow because he likes my gentle touch
I then manicure his nails and never hurt him much
I bring him his slippers ev'ry evening after eight
I then fetch his cigarettes upon a silver plate
I arrange his bed at nine, he gets so sleepy then
I begin to dance and then he's wide awake again
[All:]
And then we all dance to the vision of Salome

Happy holiday, happy holiday
While the merry bells keep ringing
May your ev'ry wish come true
Happy holiday, happy holiday
May the calendar keep bringing
Happy holidays to you

[Astaire:]
Happy Easter
[Passerby:]
Happy Easter
[Astaire:]
Happy Easter
[Passerby:]
Happy Easter
[Astaire:]
Me oh my, there's a lot to buy
There is shopping I must do
Happy Easter to you
[Salesgirl:]
Here's a hat that you must take home
Happy Easter
[Astaire:]
Happy Easter
[Salesgirl:]
Here's a lid for milady's dome
Happy Easter
[Astaire:]
Happy Easter
[Salesgirl:]
This one's made for the hat parade on the well-known avenue
This one's nice and it's worth the price
Happy Easter to you
[Salesgirl:]
Here's a hat for a pretty face
Happy Easter
[Astaire:]
Happy Easter
[Salesgirl:]
Here is one that is trimmed with lace
Happy Easter
[Astaire:]
Happy Easter
[Salesgirl:]
Here's a touch of the quaint old Dutch
It's so old it's always new
[Salesgirl:]
This in white is exactly right
Happy Easter to you
[Salesgirl:]
I think that is a lovely hat
Maybe you think so too?
[Astaire:]
I do
[Salesgirl:]
Wrap it up for the chap with a very happy Easter to you
[Chorus:]
Never saw such a lovely day
Happy Easter
Everything seems to come your way
Happy Easter
My oh me, what a kick to be
On the well-known avenue
Me oh my, you're a lucky guy
Happy Easter to you
Happy Easter
Happy Easter
Happy Easter to you
[Unused Refrain:]
Never saw such a lovely gal
Happy Easter, Happy Easter
Where oh where did you get her, pal?
Happy Easter, Happy Easter
My oh me, what a hit she'll be
On the well-known avenue
Me oh my, you're a lucky guy
Happy Easter to you
Happy Easter
Happy Easter
Happy Easter to you

[1st verse:]
Out in San Francisco where the weather's fair
They have a dance out there
They call the 'Grizzly Bear'
All your other lovin' dances don't compare
Not so coony
But a little more than spoony
Talk about yo' bears that Teddy Roosevelt shot
They couldn't class with what
Old San Francisco's got
Listen my honey, do
And I will show to you
The dance of the grizzly Bear
[Refrain:]
Hug up close to your baby
Throw your shoulders t'ward the ceilin'
Lawdy, lawdy, what a feelin'
Snug up close to your lady
Close your eyes and do some nappin'
Something nice is gwine to happen
Hug up close to your baby
Sway me everywhere
Show your darlin' beau just how you go to Buffalo
Doin' the grizzly bear
[2nd verse:]
Let's sit down and rest a minute honey dear
My head feels awful queer
Please call the waiter near
'Water, water quick the lady's gone I fear'
'Thank you, honey
In my purse, you'll find some money
Where's the man who showed me how to do that dance
That put me in a trance?
I'll take another chance'
Now that I've got my breath
I'm his'n until death
Come on with yo' grizzly Bear
[2nd refrain:]
Hug up close to your baby
Hypnotize me like a lizard
Shake yo' self just like a blizzard
Snug up close to your lady
If they do that dance in heaven
Shoot me hon' tonight at seven
Hug up close to your baby
Sway me everywhere
You and me is two, I'll make it one when we get thro'
Doin' the grizzly bear

[1st verse:]
So you're leaving me, sweet girlie
So it's true we have to part
Let me whisper something girlie
To my own sweetheart
It will worry me, sweet girlie
And I'll be so lonesome too
It will cheer me, dear, when you're not near me
Just to know your heart beats true
[Refrain:]
Goodbye, girlie, and remember me when you're far away
I'll be thinking of you dearie, more and more each day
Summer's coming, birds will soon be humming love's sweet melody
Good luck! Goodbye, girlie, and remember me
[2nd verse:]
I can see a scene, sweet girlie
As sweethearts can only do
Where we'll sit and dream sweet girlie
In a home for two
See just what it means, sweet girlie
What it means for you and I
So in Junetime, spoontime, honeymoon-time
We'll be happy, bye and bye

[1st verse:]
I can picture the boys 'over there'
Making plenty of noise 'over there'
And if I'm not wrong
It won't be long
Ere a certain song will fill the air
It's all very clear
The time's drawing near
When they'll be marching down to the pier, singing:
[Refrain:]
Goodbye France
We'd love to linger longer but we must go home
Folks are waiting to welcome us across the foam
We were glad to stand side by side with you
Mighty proud to have died with you
So goodbye France
You'll never be forgotten by the U.S.A.
[2nd verse:]
They are waiting for one happy day
When the word comes to start on their way
With a tear-dimmed eye
They'll say goodbye
But their hearts will cry, Hip-hip hooray
The friends that they made
Will wish that they stayed
As they start on their homeward parade, singing:

[Duet for married man and mistress:]
You can't do this to me, you can't do this to me
I've given you the best years of my life
You can't put on your hat, walk out and leave me flat
-Go home tonight and tell it to your wife
You can't do this to me, you can't do this to me
I'm hurt, we haven't even had a row
You can't give me the air and end this love affair
-Go home tonight and tell it to your frau
I guess that you've forgotten those wonderful nights
Remember, in this country, a husband has rights
You can't do this to me, you can't do this to me
Remember that a home is not a house
You can't say that we're through with all I've done for you
-Go home tonight and tell it to your spouse

I'm so glad to be home again
I promise never to roam again
It's oh so good to be home again
I could cry, I'm so happy
I'm back where I had to be
Awfully glad to be home
My heart suddenly mends again
Among my neighbors and friends again
As I start tying loose ends again
I could cry, I'm so happy
There's no need of askin' me, certainly you can see
Just why I'm glad to be home

Give me your tired, your poor
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore
Send these the homeless tempest-tost to me
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!
Give me your tired, your poor
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore
Send these the homeless tempest-tost to me
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!

A greyhound who had lots of speed was surely bound to fail
For morning, noon and evening, he'd be chasing his own tail
He was running around in circles
Running around in circles getting nowhere
A squirrel in a treadmill cage, around and 'round he'd go
You'd think that he'd be in a rage, but seems he didn't know
He was running around in circles
Running around in circles getting nowhere
The man who runs a carousel is often heavy-hearted
He rides all day, but sad to say, he winds up where he started
So, concentrate and clear your mind of schemes that never last
Or you'll wake up someday and find your chances all have passed
You've been running around in circles
Running around in circles getting nowhere
Getting nowhere very fast

[Verse:]
When I was mustered out
I thought without a doubt
That I was through with all my care and strife
I thought that I was then
The happiest of men
But after months of tough civilian life
[1st refrain:]
Gee, I wish I was back in the Army
The Army wasn't really bad at all
Three meals a day
For which you didn't pay
Uniforms for winter, spring and fall
There's a lot to be said for the Army
The life without responsibility
A soldier out of luck
Was really never stuck
There's always someone higher up where you can pass the buck
Oh, gee, I wish I was back in the Army
[2nd Refrain, for female:]
Gee, I wish I was back in the Army
The Army was the place to find romance
Soldiers and WACS
The WACS who dressed in slacks
Dancing cheek to cheek and pants to pants
There's a lot to be said for the Army
A gal was never lost for company
A million handsome guys
With longing in their eyes
And all you had to do was pick the age, the weight, the size
Oh, gee, I wish I was back in the Army
[3rd refrain:]
Gee, I wish I was back in the Army
The shows we got civilians couldn't see
How we would yell for Dietrich and Cornell
Jolson, Hope and Benny all for free
[Alternate line from sheet music:
Crosby, Hope and Jolson all for free]
There's a lot to be said for the Army
The best of doctors watched you carefully
A dentist and a clerk
For weeks and weeks they'd work
They'd make a thousand dollar job and give it to a jerk
Oh, gee, I wish I was back in the Army
[Coda:]
Three meals a day
For which you didn't pay
A million handsome guys
With longing in their eyes
I thought that I was through with all my care and strife
But after months and months of tough civilian life
Oh, gee
I wish I was back in the Army now

[1st verse:]
Honey, I've been thinking
About the cozy little flat
The one we'll soon be looking at
To furnish up with this and that
Honey, I can picture
The happy smile upon your face
When we both get started
Furnishing up the place
My dearie
[Refrain:]
I'll hang the picture on the wall
You'll hold the chair so I don't fall
My honey
While I lay the carpet in the dining room
You'll be busy with a broom
I'll place the dishes on the shelf
You'll change them, dear, to suit yourself
When ev'rything is furnished there
We'll cuddle in the morris chair
We'll be such a happy pair
Furnishing a home for two
[2nd verse:]
You'll do all the shopping
'Twill help you pass the time away
That's how you'll spend most of the day
Including all my hard-earned pay
We will have a parrot
So when I have to go away
You will think I'm near you
I'll teach the bird to say
'I love you'

[1st verse:]
I've often wandered down
To dreamy Chinatown
The home of Ching-a-ling
It's fine! I must declare
But now I'm going where
I can see the real, real thing
[Refrain:]
I'll soon be there
In a bamboo chair
For I've got my fare
From here to Shanghai
Just picture me
Sipping Oo-long tea
Served by a Chinaman
Who speaks a-way up high
('Hock-a-my, Hock-a-my')
I'll eat the way they do
With a pair of wooden sticks
And I'll have Ching Ling Foo
Doing all his magic tricks
I'll get my mail
From a pale pig-tail
For I mean to sail
From here to Shanghai
[2nd verse:]
I'll have them teaching me
To speak their language, gee!
When I can talk Chinese
I'll come home on the run
Then have a barr'll of fun
Calling people what I please

[Verse:]
Why do I allow my heart to make decisions for me?
Why do I keep list'ning to my heart?
Why do I get so involved when I would rather be free?
Maybe it's because I'm not so smart
[Refrain:]
Fools fall in love
Only lunatics fall in love
And I'm a fool
Fools seek romance
Only idiots take the chance
And I'm a fool
I should be able to put all my feelings aside
I should be able to take one free ride in my stride
But fools cannot play
They get serious right away
And break the rule
My heart's on fire when I know I ought to keep cool
Fools fall in love and I'm such a fool
[2nd verse:]
Why do you get so involved when you would rather be free?
Why not give your heart what it may crave?
Why not let your heart decide the question, Which will it be:
Old man's darling or a young man's slave?

[1st verse:]
Look at the crowd up the avenue
Oh, don't you know where they're going to?
They're on their merry way
To turn night into day
Dressed in their best, they're a happy mob
Soon, to a tune, they'll be on the job
If you care to join them
Just hurry along
[Refrain:]
Follow the crowd, follow the crowd
Come with me, you're going to be so proud
Don't stay behind, go where you'll find
Thousands of dreamy Tango dancers
Come, my honey, come!
The drummer's drum
Will make things hum!
The whole night long
We'll dance away the blues
Take an extra pair of shoes!
Come, come, come, come and follow the crowd
[2nd verse:]
You'll hear a jew'l of an orchestra!
Best of the rest in America!
Each syncopated beat
Just goes right to your feet
Heirs, millionaires, all the best of them
Glide side by side with the rest of them
They'll be glad to meet you
Just hurry along

[Interloc'ter:]
Ladies and gentlemen, be seated
Mister Bones, Mister Bones
How do you feel, Mister Bones?
[Bones:]
Rattlin'!
[Interloc'ter:]
Mister Bones feels rattlin'!
Ha, ha, ha, ha, that's a good one
Tell a little story, Mister Bones
[Chorus:]
Tell a little story, Mister Bones
[Bones:]
How can you keep an angry dog from biting you on Monday?
[Interloc'ter:]
That joke is old, the answer is to kill the dog on Sunday
[Bones:]
That's not the way to keep a dog from biting you on Monday
[Interloc'ter:]
How would you bring the thing about?
[Bones:]
Have the doggie's teeth pulled out!
[Interloc'ter:]
Oh, Mister Bones, that's terrible!
[Chorus:]
Yes, Mister Bones, that's terrible!
[Interloc'ter:]
And now we'll hear the ballad singer's pet
A song we'll ne'er forget
By the barnyard quartette
[Quartette:]
Yes, my darling, you shall be, shall be
Always young and fair to me
That's a song that never will grow old
'Silver threads among the gold'
[Tambo:]
Mister Interloc'ter
[Interloc'ter:]
What is wrong with you?
[Tambo:]
I know of a doctor
[Interloc'ter:]
Tell about him, do
[Tambo:]
Sad to say, one day he fell
Right into a great big well
[Interloc'ter:]
That's too bad
[Tambo:]
It serves him right
[Interloc'ter:]
Why speak in such a tone?
[Tambo:]
He should have attended to the sick
And let the well alone
[Quartette:]
That's a joke that was told
By the minstrel men we miss
When Georgie Primrose used to sing
And dance to a song like this:

[Verse:]
Down in the land of the cocoanuts
Before the welcome season shuts
A million 'million dollar nuts' will be found
Down in the land where the trees are tall
We're asking you to pay a call
And live where it is summer all the year 'round
Buy a lot, any piece that we've got
Will increase ev'ry season
Ask us why ev'ryone wants to lie in the sun, there's a reason
One little ride in a Pullman car
A night and day and there you are
Come on, it's time you should be Florida bound
[Refrain:]
In the lovely land of Florida
Sunny Florida by the sea
All the sunshine in America
Is in Florida you'll agree
When they're freezing up north
Sneezing up north
Always it's July the Fourth
In the lovely land of Florida
Sunny Florida by the sea

[Louisianans:]
What's this we hear?
Please make it clear
Are we to understand a wedding is near?
[Jim?:]
Congratulations are in order
She's in love and her heart is gone
[Marina:]
I met a wonderful man
That's how it began
[Louisianans:]
Proving sex, S-E-X, marches on
[Loganberry:]
I don't know just what happened in that private dining room
I entered as a Senator and came out as a groom
[Marina:]
We were two lonely hearts beating as one
[Loganberry:]
Being mis'rable is oh! such a lot of fun
[Jim:]
I hate the lies you told to me
The bill of goods you sold to me
I hate the things that make you untrue
I hate your last goodbye, I honest I do
[Marina:]
Outside of that, I love you
[Loganberry:]
Ev'rybody drink with me, drink with me
Under the table come sink with me
Very happy am I
And I wish I knew why
[Louisianans:]
We'll be glad to drink with you, drink with you
[Jim?:]
A toast to the bride and groom
[Louisianans:]
Louisiana purchase, I'll tell you what it means
It means I'd like to sell you New Orleans

At last! At last!
Something new in the show at last
Something new, if you please
We won't pull the same old wheeze
We mean that we won't reprise
The chorus of one of the melodies
At last! At last!
Here's a show that'll end at last
Without a reprise and that's news
They looked up the Constitution and they couldn't find a word
That said we had to sing a song that you'd already heard
The finest legal minds have met and everyone agrees
That when we reach the finale we don't have to sing a reprise
At last! At last!
We've come to the end at last
It'll all be over soon
But we don't intend to croon
The composer's favorite tune
The one they sang beneath the moon
Now we'll explain a reprise
It's that certain song they sing all through the show
And the one they sing again before you go
But the judges met and everyone agrees
That we will have to end without a reprise
Yes, we will have to end without a reprise
In your Easter bonnet, with all the frills upon it
You'll be the grandest lady in the Easter parade
No, you can't do that
You can't do that
You can't sing again about your Easter hat
We're having a heat wave, a tropical heat wave
The temp'rature's rising, it isn't surprising
She certainly can can-can
No, you can't repeat
You can't repeat
You can't sing again about the can-can heat
I've got Harlem on my mind
And I'm longing to be lowdown
No, you can't do that
You can't do that
Because if you do we're gonna leave you flat
Never mind that introduction for we don't intend to sing
The chorus of 'How's Chances?' as it wouldn't mean a thing
We'd like to sing a song that wasn't written for the score
A simple little chorus that they haven't heard before
A simple little chorus that you haven't heard before:
[Refrain:]
Not for all the rice in China
Not for all the grapes in France
Would I exchange the pleasure
That I get with every measure
When we dance
Not for all the kilts in Scotland
Not for all the bulls in Spain
Would I give up arriving
At your house although you're driving
Me insane
Not for all the onions in Bermuda
Or the cheeses that are made by the Swiss
Would I exchange that first kiss
That you gave me
Not for all the beans in Boston
Not for all the steaks in Moore's
Would I agree to part with
All the joy you filled my heart with
When you said, 'I'm yours'
[Alternate line:]
Not for all the knobs on doors

[Louisianans:]
Somebody handed us a ticket to picket
They want pickets so here we are
[Loganberry:] Pickets?
[Louisianans:] Yes, pickets!
[Madame Bordelaise:] It's a trick, a trick!
[Jim:]
You know that it's a fact
That since the Wagner Act
The head of labor says
That a candidate for prez
Mustn't cross a picket line
[Louisianans:] Mustn't cross a picket line
[Marina:]
With labor you'll be through
They will never vote for you
If you cross a picket line
[Louisianans:]
If you cross a picket line
Yes, a candidate for president must never cross a picket line
[Madame Bordelaise:]
Don't listen to the pickets, Ollie, dear
Let's go inside, it means your whole career
[Loganberry:]
A candidate can leave his party flat
And wind up on the opposition ticket
He can double-cross his other brother rat
But he mustn't hurt the feelings of a picket
[Louisianans:]
No, he mustn't hurt the feelings of a picket
Louisiana purchase, I told you what it means
So won't you let me sell you New Orleans
Come on, come on
And you all can go to town way down in New Orleans

[Bing:] Here she comes down the street
[Fred:] I'll admit my defeat
[Bing:] I've won my hot toddy
[Fred:] Over my scarred body
[Bing:] I knew that I'd win singing
[Fred:] But wait until she gets a load of your dancing
[Bing:] We'll stay at the inn singing
[Fred:] All by myself I'll have to stick to my dancing
[DALE:]
Oh, no, my friend, I'm here to end
Your dancing trouble and strife
[Fred:]
This will be fun, Miss 'Hit-and-Run'
Has come back into my life
[Bing:] We'll stay at the inn...
[Fred:] We'll have to begin...
[Bing:] Singing!
[Fred:] Dancing!
[Bing & REYNOLDS:] We've each other to cling to
[Bing:] You'll be easy to sing to
[Fred:] And you're easy to dance with
[ALL:]
So let the old year die with a fond good-bye
And our hopes as high as a kite
How can our love go wrong if we start the new year right?

[Verse:]
Crocodile tears will not be shed
They're not for a lady like I'm
I can recall what my aunt said
When she married for the twentieth time
[1st refrain:]
Falling out of love can be fun
After love is over and done
It's an awful blow and although it's upsetting
So much you can do while you're forgetting
Falling out of love can be fun
When you've find your lover has gone
Get your second wind and go on
There's an old affair that is there for renewing
In your grief, do you know what you're doing?
Falling out of love can be fun
Soon, you'll be swinging in a hammock on a porch
One arm wrapped around someone else
The other arm carrying a torch
Love can give a lady a clout
And she may be down but not out
Get yourself a date, don't you wait for the count of ten, then
Falling out of love can be falling in love again
[2nd refrain:]
Falling out of love can be fun
Someone else can soon be the one
By another name, he's the same as his brother
Close your eyes and one is like the other
Falling out of love can be fun
When he goes before you have wed
And the stork is over your head
Soon you're gonna be with a she or a laddie
Smile as you go shopping for a daddy
Falling out of love can be fun
Soon, you'll be losing all your troubles and your fears
One eye winking at someone else
The other eye filling up with tears
When you find your lovin' romance
Gets a sudden kick in the pants
Get yourself surrounded and bounded with lots of men, then
Falling out of love can be falling in love again

[1st verse:]
There's a wonderful glow in the eyes of youth
As over the crystal she bends
For she's anxious to know what the eyes of youth
Will see when her journey ends
[Refrain:]
Gazing in the future
Through the eyes of youth
Wond'ring what awaits
Behind the mystic gates
Will she find a bluebird
When she learns the truth
Or will the years bring sadness and tears
To the eyes of youth
[2nd verse:]
May the finger of Fate point the crimson way
And guide her to happiness soon
May it open the gate to a perfect day
That ends with a honeymoon

[1st verse:]
People here are going wild
Every woman, man and child
Has some ragtime on the brain
Every band and orchestra
Playing in America
Plays a syncopated strain
It's floating in the air
You hear it everywhere
[Refrain:]
Everything in America is ragtime
They talk in ragtime
It seems to be the fashion
Their only passion is swaying to and fro
Snapping fingers so
Acting as though they were having a jag-time
The U.S.A. is a land of syncopation
It seems the nation
Is just a million acres
Of shoulder shakers
Composers, just as thick as bees
Writing raggy melodies
They're even making Gaby Deslys sing ragtime
[2nd verse:]
In the subway every night
Folks start swaying left and right
While they read the evening news
When a baby starts to cry
Longing for a lullaby
Mother sings the Memphis Blues
You can't drive it away
Because it's here to stay

[Verse:]
I've been trav'ling far and wide
Over on the other side
And it's strange what a change is happ'ning all around
Years ago it used to be
Shaking hands across the sea
Now we meet
Shaking feet
For this is what I found
[Refrain:]
Ev'ryone in the world is doing the Charleston
They do it in London, they do it in France
In Spain and Italy and in Germany they all Charleston
No matter how far you roam away from home
You'll find them doing that dance
That certain step that was all the craze
With those Lenox Avenue shieks
Is being done by the Portuguese
The Armenians and the Greeks
Papers say that most ev'ry day there's a European who
Sprained his knee in the Charleston, Charleston
Because they're all doing it now

[1st verse:]
Honey, honey, can't you hear?
Funny, funny music, dear
Ain't the funny strain
Goin' to your brain?
Like a bottle of wine, fine
Hon', hon', hon', hon' take a chance
One, one, one, one little dance
Can't you see them all
Swaying up the hall
Let's be gettin' in line
[Refrain:]
Ev'rybody's doin' it
Doin' it, doin' it
Ev'rybody's doin' it
Doin' it, doin' it
See that ragtime couple over there
Watch them throw their shoulders in the air
Snap their fingers
Honey, I declare
It's a bear, it's a bear, it's a bear
There!
Ev'rybody's doin' it
Doin' it, doin' it
Ev'rybody's doin' it
Doin' it, doin' it
Ain't that music touching your heart
Hear that trombone bustin' apart?
Come, come, come, come let us start
Ev'rybody's doin' it now
[2nd verse:]
Baby, baby get a stool
Maybe, maybe I'm a fool
Honey, don't you smile
Let us rest a while
I'm so weak in the chest, best
Go, go, go, go get a chair
No, no, no, no leave it there
Honey, if the mob
Still are on the job
I'm as strong as the rest

[Verse:]
Soon you'll hear a tune
That's gonna lift you out of your seat
It could be sweeter but then the meter
Was written especi'lly for your feet
Fly away up high
Upon a syncopated balloon
A little ginger will never injure
Hear them tuning up, they'll be playing soon
[Refrain:]
Ev'rybody step to the syncopated rhythm
Let's be goin' with 'em when they begin
You'll be sayin' Yes Sir the band is grand
He's the best professor in all the land
Listen to the pep that emerges from the middle
Of the jazzy fiddle under his chin
Oh, what music
The clarineter could not be better
Hear that strain
I don't know just what it is but it's great
They simply ruin it
Look at 'em doin' it
Come, come don't hesitate
Ev'rybody step if you want to see a glutton
When it comes to struttin' over the ground
Wait'll you see my little sweetie and me
Step, step, stepping around
In A Cozy Kitchenette Apartment
[Verse:]
I'm getting tired of eating in restaurants
They don't appeal to me
If we could own a cute apartment
I'd know just what a joyful heart meant
I hate to think of waiters and bill-of-fares
When evening time draws near
Three little rooms will be just like heaven
When we are married dear
In a
[Refrain:]
Cozy kitchenette apartment for two
I'll be setting the table
While you're cooking a stew
For me and you
I'll be there to help you put the dishes away
Then together we'll listen to the phonograph play
The tuneful Humoresque
And oh, what bliss
When it's time to kiss
In a cozy kitchenette apartment for two

[Verse:]
Love sees ev'rything right but love can be blind
I've seen things with my heart instead of my mind
Love sees ev'rything high when ev'rything's low
And the first to be hurt is the last one to know
[Refrain:]
Ev'rybody knew but me
You were longing to be free
I thought that I was in clover but my dreams were over
And ev'rybody knew but me
We were in a minor key
We were bound to disagree
And ev'rybody saw the things that I was too much in love to see
You were getting thru and ev'rybody knew but me

(Irving Berlin and Vincent Bryan)
[1st verse:]
Down below the Dixie line in Alabam'
Lived a lovin' piano player, Ephraham
'Cause he never took a lesson
He had ev'rybody guessin'
How he played with such a lovin' tone
Any old piano that he could annoy
Ephraham would call an instrument of joy
When it came to make a piano
Cry out in a fancy manner
Ephraham was in a class alone
[Refrain:]
Ephraham played upon the piano
Ephraham, he had a great left hand
Ephraham in his fancy manner
Made an upright sound like a 'Baby Grand'
[2nd verse:]
Any kind of music he could understand
Still he didn't play by ear, he played by hand
When he started fishin'
For the tune that you'd been wishin'
Ev'ry other good musician stepped aside
Ephraham was never known to lose his head
I remember once a certain lady said
'Can you play a fiddle, Mister?'
He looked up and answered, 'Sister
I don't know because I never tried'

[1st refrain:]
Empty pockets but a heart full of love
A heart full of love for you
Cash not any, not one red penny
But kisses many for you
Empty pockets but a heart beating fast
As fast as the stars above
Please say that you'll get by with just a guy
With empty pockets filled with love
[2nd REFRAIN, sung in counterpoint:]
You can't eat love, you can't drink love
You can't wear love like you would a gown
I trust love but just love
Won't pay for caviar
Won't buy that motor car
Or a house in town
You can't spend love, you can't lend love
You must end love when the chips are down
Love flies out the window when there's nothing to eat
Nothing to drink, nothing to wear but a frown
And the chips are down

[Verse:]
A bunny for my honey
A dolly with a curl
An aeroplane
An electric train
And a teddy bear for my girl
A kitty for my pretty
A castle for my love
Gee!
What do I see?
Brother, if that's a drum
That's for me
[Refrain:]
I'm drum crazy, yes
I'm drum crazy, yes
I'm plumb crazy for drums
I've got drumsticks full of hot licks and a roll
Loaded with soul, under control
First, soft violins
Then, sweet saxophones
Then, blue clarinets croon
When it's my turn I turn into a loon
When the drum takes the melody
When the drum carries the tune

(Irving Berlin and Vaughn De Leath)
[1st verse:]
Shadows fall on nursery wall
It is the end of the day
Mammy comes and softly hums
To her child at play
[Refrain:]
Drowsy head
Drowsy head
Close your eyes and go to bed
Go put your toys away
You've played enough today
Shadows are falling
Sandman is calling
Go to sleep
Go to sleep
Pray the Lord your soul to keep
Hush a-bye, my baby
Don't you dare to peep
Mammy's little drowsy head
[2nd verse:]
Shadows fall on nursery wall
Daylight is passing by
Baby calls to her dolls
That same lullaby

[1st verse:]
The sunbeams have taken their flight
The day slowly turned into night
All nature's at rest
The birds in their nest
Sleep on 'neath the moon's silv'ry light
The shadows of eve ease my heart
For now that we've drifted apart
I find joys anew while dreaming of you
Dreams that can ne'er come true
[Refrain:]
Dreams, just dreams
My beautiful golden dreams
It seems my dreams
Are missives of sweet consolation
Each dream I dream
Turns gloom to a bright sunbeam
Since the love that I gave
Found a grave, all I crave
Is dreams, just dreams
[2nd verse:]
I wake with the morning my dear
The sun up above shining clear
The flowers seem gay to welcome the day
A day that will seem like a year
My goal is a land so it seems
Where night never turns to sunbeams
The world I would give to go there and live
Live with my golden dreams

(Words by Jean Havez, Music by Irving Berlin)
[Verse:]
When darkness comes and the soldier
Goes to the land of dreams
Comes stealing some little angel
Borne by the starlight beams
Soothing all of his care
With some beautiful prayer
Blessings numbering while he's slumbering
So peacefully there
[Refrain:]
Dream on, little soldier boy
May a golden vision fill your heart with joy
May all your happiest hours come back in dreams
May sunshine follow the show'rs with brightest beams
Wander with a peaceful mind
In the land of fancy with the girl you left behind
Sleep on whatever befalls
Till dawn when reveille calls
Dream on, little soldier boy
You've work to do on the morrow
Dear little soldier lad
Grim war may add to your sorrow
You may be sick and sad
Even though you may fall
Sleep, forgetting it all
Resting cozily, dreaming rosily
Awaiting your call

[1st verse:]
Honey darlin' take your time
Don't you hurry, baby mine
Throw your lovin' arms around me
Oh! Oh! Oh! I'm feelin' so fine
Won't you squeeze my hand again
Squeeze it hard, I feel no pain
Don't deny me, satisfy me
To that draggy strain
[Refrain:]
Oh! that draggy rag!
Oh! that easy drag
Don't you hurry, honey, or you'll cause me pain
I want to go to heaven on an Erie train
Slide, glide, not too fast
Go slow to the last
I love my quick decision, hon'
But Oh! that draggy rag
[2nd verse:]
I could almost swear I see
Two of you, and now it's three
I believe my mind is wand'rin'
Oh! Oh! Oh! poor delicate me
Honey, dear, I'm suff'rin' so
Get your hat and we will go
Don't decline, dear, take your time, dear
Let us walk out slow

[Verse:]
I really think that Broadway
Is just a false alarm
It's just a great big fraud-way
Compared to a farm
A lot of folks may like it
But I could not agree
It may be good enough for them
But not for me
[Refrain:]
I'm gonna stay right here where the Jack O'Lanterns grow
I'm gonna wake each morn when the rooster starts to crow
Then when I'm through milking the cow
I'll be out working the plow
While the birds
Sing a little 'Hello'
I'm gonna settle down with a certain gal I know
Until the day comes 'round when I must really go
Then should the Angels whisper 'What have you been?'
I'll say 'I've been a Reuben
Down where the Jack O'Lanterns grow'
[2nd verse:]
I stop my work at sundown
And if I want to roar
I comb my hair and run down
To Si's groc'ry store
I hear the latest songs there
I've got them all down pat
I know 'Poor Butterfly' by heart
Just think of that!

(Vincent Bryan, Irving Berlin and Ted Snyder)
[1st verse:]
Why do they rave about beautiful France
Where the wine flows and the maidens entrance
Why go to Berlin, Vienna or Rome
We can enjoy all their joys here at home
In old New York up at Long Acre Square
Turn 'round the corner, you'll find yourself there
Millions of miles from all trouble and care
Two doors from Heaven the Folies Bergere
[Refrain:]
Down, down, down, down, down to the Folies Bergere
Order a Taxi, a cab or a car
Go where the girlies sing oo la, la
Girls, boys, joys, noise, laughter and music all there
Ask me where? Where? Where?
Down to the Folies Bergere
[2nd verse:]
Why do they sing of the Rathskeller's joys
Who go to places just meant for the boys
We'll get the girls and we'll bring them along
Down to the folies, they'll see nothing wrong
Bring down your sweetheart and give her a seat
If your wife's there get a gallery seat
Then if your wife and your sweetheart should meet
Thirty-two exits lead out to the street

[1st verse:]
I feel-a much-a bad like anything
All the night I nunga canna sleep
It's a my pizon Pasquale
He say we take da car
And see Dorando race a-'Long-a-ship'
Just like the sport, I sell da barbershop
And make da bet Dorando he's a win
Then to Madees-a Square
Pasquale and me go there
And just-a like-a dat, da race begin
[Refrain:]
Dorando! Dorando!
He run-a, run-a, run-a, run like anything
One-a, two-a hundred times around da ring
I cry, 'Please-a nunga stop!'
Just then, Dorando he's a drop!
Goodbye poor old barber shop
It's no fun to lose da mon
When de son-of-a-gun no run
Dorando
He's a good for not!
[2nd verse:]
Dorando, he's a come around next day
Say, 'Gentlemen, I wanna tell-a you
It's a one-a bigga shame
I forgot da man's a-name
Who make me eat da Irish beef-a stew
I ask-a him to give me da spaghett
I know it make me run a-quick-a-quick
But I eat da beef-a stew
And now I tell-a you
Just like da pipps it make me very sick

[1st verse:]
You may have a certain someone in mind
Someone that some day you're hoping to find
The one that you'll adore is worthwhile waiting for
But the rest of the world is mating while you sit there waiting
Refrain:]
Don't wait too long
With your castles in the sky
Don't wait too long
While you're waiting, time will fly
Love songs are best when they're sung
In the Springtime when ev'rything's young
Don't wait too long
Happiness may pass you by
[2nd verse:]
So much time is wasted waiting around
Just for someone who may never be found
And when the years have flown, you may be all alone
Looking back on the days you wasted, leaving life untasted

(E. Ray Goetz and Irving Berlin)
[1st verse:]
Mother often said to me, 'Someday a beauty fair
You may, or may not grow to be, in any case beware
Beside a fellow's side, a gown your faults will always hide
But not beside a fellow's side, beside the ocean side
He's there when you go in without a doubt
He's liable to be gone when you come out
[Refrain:]
Don't take your beau to the seashore
When bathing, don't take your beau to the shore
For bathing suits reveal what petticoats conceal
And if there's a slight defection
You will never stand inspection
When you go down to the seashore
Take my advice and you won't go wrong
Girls, when you go, if you've nothing to show
Don't take your beau along
[2nd verse:]
Mother knew a thing or two, she told me father dear
Had never seen her bathing, that's the reason I am here
An ankle should be covered good until the show'r of rice
And even then it's none too safe to show it more than twice
Although we know that love is blind, be wise!
A bathing suit may open up his eyes

[1st verse:]
Down in the land of the Argentine
That's where you'll see the fandango
Done in a way that you've never seen
That's where they started the tango
But outside of their dancing
It's a land of entrancing
Romancing as well
[Refrain:]
Come to the land of the Argentine
Where ev'ry girl is a Tango Queen
And ev'ry boy is a star with his guitar
He can play it till you get a thrill with ev'ry bar
You haven't lived till you've gone and seen
The sunny home of the tambourine
Where the Spanish Romeos and their Juliets
Lovey dovey to the tune of their castanets
I'm pretty certain that you'll be keen
About the land of the Argentine
[2nd verse:]
Down in the land of the Argentine
Home of the fair Senorita
They are the loveliest ever seen
No girl could ever be sweeter
'Neath the wonderful moonlight
Ev'ry night is a June night
And spoon night as well

[Verse:]
Poor little immigrant feeling Oh, so sad
I came from Petrograd with ev'rything I had
Now that I'm over here they won't let me stay
That's why I'm so unhappy today
Please don't send me away
[1st refrain:]
Don't send me back, I don't want to go back to Petrograd
Don't send me back, I don't want to go back to my hometown
There's millions of people on the shore
Why can't you make room for just one more
There's a boy that I love waiting out on the pier
How can I go when my heart is over here
Give me the chance that you gave all my friends from Petrograd
I want to be in the land of the free and settle down
That Liberty statue down the bay
Is looking right at you and seems to say
Oh! don't send her back
It's terrible in my hometown
[2nd refrain:]
Don't send me back, I don't want to go back to Petrograd
Don't send me back, I don't want to go back to my hometown
The very best people that you know
Were foreigners not so long ago
When they came over here they were all immigrants
So were their cousins and their uncles and their aunts
Give me the chance that you gave all my friends from Petrograd
I want to be in the land of the free and settle down
I'll promise to work the best I can
I'll even wash sheets for the Ku Klux Klan
Oh! don't send me back
It's terrible in my hometown

(Edgar Leslie and Irving Berlin)
[1st verse:]
I met Henry at a swell affair
Mother heard he was a millionaire
I told him that he may call some night
He seemed pleased and then replied, 'All right!'
Sunday, Henry thought he'd look us up
Dropped in while the folks were having sup
Henry felt embarrassed for he thought I'd be alone
So my mother called me over and said in a whispered tone:
[Refrain:]
Put out your little sister Millie
Put out your little brother Willie
Tell Aunt Marie to be going on her way
Don't forget to say: 'Call another day!'
Put father wise to put out Molly
Tell him to put her on a trolley
You may have some fun, put out ev'ry one
But don't put out the light
[2nd verse:]
Soon I had the parlor to myself
Placed the lamp upon the mantelshelf
Then he got as loving as could be
Asked if I would sit upon his knee
After spooning for an hour or more
He said, 'Dear, my eyes are getting sore
Doctor said the light is detrimental to my eyes'
Now I would have done it gladly had my mother not advised:

Don't be afraid of romance
Don't be so frightened, come on take a chance
Don't stop to question is this the real thing
Don't be afraid to let go
Don't run away till you know
Romance is best while you're young
That's when the sweetest of love songs are sung
That's when your daydreams are filled with moonlight
Don't be afraid when you start
You have nothing to lose but your heart

[1st verse:]
Did you ever fall in love with a bonehead
A stoneheaded man
A man who doesn't know that the lights a-burning low
Mean he should be most loveable
That's the very kind of a man I'm in love with
A dove with no heart
When he should hug, snug like a bug within a rug
That's the time he wants to part
[Refrain:]
Dog gone that chilly man of mine
Overboard I'd shove him
Just because he made me love him
Dog gone that chilly man of mine
He's as cold a lover as the pole that Cook discovered
Dog gone that icy man of mine
With a heart just like a fan
For when I'm all fussed up for an ever lovin' spoon
He's out in the garden making faces at the moon
And I sigh and I cry
Dog gone that chilly man
[2nd verse:]
When your heart is jumping up to your collar
You holler for love
And that's the time a man should be doing all he can
To love his gal most beautiful
When I ask him for a kiss on his call-days
He'd always refuse
What would you think of any man who talks of love
While he reads the daily news?

[1st verse:]
Liza Green felt awf'ly sick
Sent out for the doctor quick
The doctor called around, these words to say
'You're suff'ring from a love attack
And if you want to bring health back
A loving man must love you every day'
Then he turned to say goodbye
Just to hear Eliza cry:
[Refrain:]
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Doctor (oh, doctor)
Won't you kindly hear my plea? (oh, doctor)
I know, you know, doctor (oh, doctor)
Exactly what is best for me (oh, doctor)
Hear me sigh, hear me cry
Surely you ain't gonna let me die
For if some love will make me gain
Do your duty doctor, cure my pain
[2nd verse:]
Doctor said, 'I can't decline
Curing patients is my line'
Then started lovin' Liza good and strong
Soon she was feeling well once more
The doctor then looked t'ward the door
And said, 'I guess I'd best be getting along'
But Eliza hollered quick
'Oh, I fear I'm getting sick'

[Verse:]
When you accuse me of being untrue, my dear
It hurts me so, you'll never know
There's no one else that I'm loving but you, my dear
That's true and so you ought to know
[1st refrain:]
I don't go out with other guys
-I saw you myself with my own eyes
Do you believe your eyes or do you believe your baby?
Whoever told you, told you lies
-I saw you myself with my own eyes
Do you believe your eyes or do you believe your baby?
You say you saw me dancing around until three
But I was home with Mother, so it wasn't me
It must have been two other guys
-I saw you myself with my own eyes
Do you believe your eyes or do you believe your baby?
[Alternate lines in 2nd Refrain:]
It isn't quite what you'd surmise
-I saw you myself with my own eyes
Do you believe your eyes, you baby, don't tell lies
-Well, come on, dear, I'm wise
Do you believe your baby?
-I don't believe my baby

[1st verse:]
England and Italy and Germany and France
We came here to discuss the debts
And we're leaving with no regrets
For England and Italy and Germany and France
We have more than reached our aim
And we're mighty glad we came
[Europe's Refrain:]
We've had a lovely conference with the U.S.A.
We'll pay our debts in silver and we'll be glad to pay
In a month or two we think we can pay our debts in zinc
And the next year we'll begin paying off what's left in tin
Oh, how we love America for she never makes a fuss
That's why we love America and America loves us
We'll tell our countries what we did and they're bound to say
If you think we can pay them off in wood, go back to the U.S.A.
[2nd verse:]
England and Italy and Germany and France
Here's some news that you ought to know
Off the gold standard we must go
Like England and Italy and Germany and France
We are going to inflate
And we're very glad to state:
[America's Refrain:]
Let the pound go up, the franc go up, the mark go up as well
Uncle Sam will be in Heaven when the dollar goes to Hell
For the stocks go up, the bonds go up, when no one wants to sell
Uncle Sam will be in Heaven when the dollar goes to Hell
Of course, our friends won't like it across the ocean blue
But we can greet our neighbors with a hey nonny nonny and a nuts to you
Let them call us this and call us that but while they scream and yell
Uncle Sam will be in Heaven when the dollar goes to Hell
[Europe's refrain is then sung in counterpoint with an altered
Stanza and a half of 'The Star Spangled Banner']

[1st verse:]
Dear Mayme, I want to explain
Why I sat down to write you this note
Gee, Mayme, I do feel ashamed
It's the first letter I ever wrote
There's some little something 'way down in my heart
I haven't the nerve to say
But sooner or later I must make a start
So it might as well be today
[Refrain:]
I love you, I love you, I love you, Mayme
I'd like to be there with a pretty spiel
But three simple words can explain how I feel
I love you, I want you, I need you, is all that I know
My love to your ma, kind regards to your pa
And kisses to you from Joe
[2nd verse:]
P.S. Dear Mayme can you guess
Who I saw, well it's old Parson Brown
Gee whiz, he was chock full of biz'
And he wants you and me to come 'round
Now I've bought a bargain, a nice wedding ring
Worth twenty, I bought it for ten
Jim Jones wants to buy it for fifteen next spring
Do you want me to sell it again?

[1st verse:]
I'm in love like a dove
Got no time to work-a with da pick and shov'
Feel so gay that I say
If I die tomorrow, honest boss I feel no sorrow
'Cause I feel so fine all the time
Got-a such-a feeling like da champagne wine
Since I met-a my sweet Annette-a much love I get-a for mine
[Refrain:]
My gal, she's-a got-a such-a figure
So big, maybe it's a little bigger
Small feet just-a like-a Japaneese-a
Big waist, it take me seven days to squeeze 'er
My gal, she's a dream-a, peach-a, cream-a
Sweet to beat the band and
When you see a miss who got-a shape-a like-a diss
Dat's-a my gal
[2nd verse:]
My gal's pop he's nice wop
He's-a got-a much-a swell-a barber shop
Once he said when we wed
If the business is rotten he's a shave-a me for not'in'
And he's got some gal what
Manicure my fingers ev'ry day for not'
Feel so glad that I can't get mad and I feel yet better than that

[Verse:]
Tonight, I'll take you to the Mardi Gras
Where we will dance and sing
Tonight, we'll hitch our wagon to a star
And be a Queen and King
Tonight, I'll take you to the masquerade
And all that I will ask
Tonight, is that I meet you unafraid
When you remove your mask
[Refrain:]
Come along and dance with me, dance with me
Into my arms and romance with me
As we walk down the street
Hear my heart miss a beat
Maybe you could fall for me, fall for me
And be the Belle of the Ball for me
We could be such a happy pair
Honest, I promised my heart we'd be there
So, come on and dance with me, dance with me
Tonight at the Mardi Gras

(Words by Irving Berlin, Music by George W. Meyer)
[1st verse:]
Some folks who are stout
Worry, there's no doubt
Doctors come and shout:
'Cut your eating out'
I just have to grin
At that double chin
Really, it's a sin
They could all be thin
[Refrain:]
It's very simple if you care to try it
A million people are reducing by it
You needn't bother 'bout a silly diet
Try a One-Step or a Fox-Trot
Go right ahead and eat a great big luncheon
I guarantee that you will soon have one chin
Instead of two or three
Just take a tip from me
Dance and grow thin
[2nd verse:]
Throw your diet book
In the nearest brook
Chase that weary look
Fox-trot with your cook
Starving is abuse
There is no excuse
You can all reduce
Your... well, what's the use?

[1st verse:]
Dearie, dearie, linger nigh
Hear me, hear me, hear me sigh
Since you told me that you love me
I've been feeling so fine
Some sweet something 'round my heart
Has been thumping from the start
I just feel like I've been bathing
In an ocean of wine
[Refrain:]
Cuddle up, my bunch of joy
Cuddle up and hold me, fold me
Come and build a nest on my lovin' breast
Nestle to your Venus
Nothing can come between us
Cuddle up, my bunch of joy
Cuddle up, caress me, press me
Oh, my darling beau
I want to show I love you so
And if you want to know just how I love you, dear
Come and cuddle up now
[2nd verse:]
Peachy, peachy, turtle dove
Teach me, teach me how to love
Tell me that you're glad you found me
Oh, my loveable boy
Meet me, greet me with a kiss
Sweety, treat me to some bliss
Throw your great big arms around me
Till I holler for joy

[Verse:]
We have heard the wise men say
Each working day
Should have an hour of play
So if you'll come with me I'll show the way
Where all the playthings are
It's not so very far
[Refrain:]
Come along to toy town
Let me take you there
It's a wondrous joy town
Free from ev'ry care
Come join the curly heads
That glisten with gold
There's room for silver threads
No matter how old
When you see the playthings
You will dance and sing
Come and hear them say things
When you pull the string
'Twill take you back to the shack
Where you played upon the floor
Come to toy town
And be a kiddy once more
[2nd verse:]
If your hair is tinged with gray
A toy each day
Will keep the gray away
We really never grow too old to play
The land of harmless toys
Makes old folks girls and boys

[Verse:]
[Boy:]
How do you do?
[Girl:]
How do you do?
[Boy:]
Do you think the weather's nice enough to do a sextette?
[Girl:]
I think so, don't you?
[Boy:]
If you think so, I've got to think so too!
[Girl:]
What'll we sing?
[Boy:]
Any old thing
[Girl:]
Is the music very pretty to your little sextette?
[Boy:]
It was written especially for us
[Girl:]
Let us hear the chorus
[Refrain:]
[Boy:]
Come along, come along, come along
Come along, come along, come along
That's all they ever sing in this kind of a song
[Both:]
Come along, come along, come along
Come along, come along, come along
They never say just where they're going
But they holler, come along, and so
Come along, let's go inside
And we'll take a little ride
You will sit right by my side
Come along let's go

[1st verse:]
Last winter Liza Snow
Picked up a book called Romeo
She read a page or so
Then hunted for a man
Soon she was dreaming of
A beau who cooed just like a dove
A man who sho' could love
Like a Romeo can
She wandered out one night
Beneath the pale moonlight
And sang with all her might
This ancient cry
[Refrain:]
Where art thou, Romeo
My colored Romeo
The balcony wants to see he and she, you and me
Come out and pet your colored Juliet
Don't linger, do it now
Come kiss my fevered brow
Shakespear's love come and show me, colored Romeo
[2nd verse:]
Miss Liza's father Joe
Did not approve of Romeo
But Liza loved him so
They ran off in a car
They made a mile or three
In almost nothing, don't you see
The auto struck a tree
Then they didn't go far
Miss Liza from the ground
Kept gazing all around
Her beau could not be found
So Liza cried

[1st verse:]
Old man Rosenthal lay sick in bed
Soon the doctor came around and said
'No use crying, the man is dying. He can't live very long!'
'Send my son here to my side,' they heard the old man say
'I've got something to tell him before I pass away'
Soon his son was sitting by his bed
'What's the matter, Papa dear?' he said
The old man said, 'My son, before my days are done
I want you to know:
[Refrain:]
Cohen owes me ninety-seven dollars
And it's up to you to see that Cohen pays
I sold a lot of goods to Rosenstein and Sons
On an I.O.U. for ninety days
Levi brothers don't get any credit
They owe me for one hundred yards of lace
If you promise me, my son, you'll collect from ev'ry one
I can die with a smile on my face'
[2nd verse:]
Old man Rosenthal is better now
He just simply wouldn't die somehow
He is healthy and very wealthy since he got out of bed
Such a change you never saw, he's got such rosy cheeks
He picks up in just one week what should take weeks and weeks
Ev'ryone who knew that he was sick
Couldn't tell how he got well so quick
They went and asked him to explain how he pulled through
Rosenthal replied:
[2nd refrain:]
Cohen owed me ninety-seven dollars
And my son went out and made poor Cohen pay
A bill was owed to me by Rosenstein and Sons
And they settled on that very day
What could my son do with all that money
If I should leave it all and say goodbye?
It's all right to pass away, but when people start to pay
That's no time for a bus'nessman to die

[1st verse:]
Singing is a part of ev'ry creature
Ev'rybody likes to hum a tune
Let me be your little singing teacher
I've prepared your lesson
You can learn it soon
[Refrain:]
Strike a key and begin with do
Do re mi and the rest you know
One, two, three, come along, let's go
Climbing up the scales
Oh, what fun going up and when
That's all done you go down and then
Ev'ryone should begin again
Climbing up the scales
A tenor or a soprano
Can try it on a piano
Strike a key and begin with do
Do re mi and the rest you know
One, two, three, come along, let's go
Climbing up the scales
[2nd verse:]
In this very ordinary chorus
There's an old effect that never fails
So we'll ask you to do something for us
While we sing the chorus
You go up the scales

[1st verse:]
In a garden fair
Sat a happy pair
'Neath a shady maple tree
She had promised him
'We'll be married, Jim
To the chimes of Trinity
'Tis the month of May
But next Christmas day
I will be your blushing bride
Don't you worry, dear
It will be soon be here'
But he looked at her and sighed
[Refrain:]
Christmas chimes mean happy times
For you and me, sweetheart
Winter time means you'll be mine
And never more to part
Honeymoon can't shine too soon
I wish it were today
Girlie mine, don't christmas time
Seem years and years away?
[2nd verse:]
'There is nothing dear
That I have to fear
If I can't afford the ring
Santa Claus is kind
And I'm sure he'll find
Just a plain gold band to bring
It's been just a year
Since I met you, dear
But it seems just like a day
If I only could
Girlie dear, I would
Turn December into May'

[Verse:]
The the'ter, the the'ter
What's happened to the the'ter?
Especially where dancing is concerned
[1st refrain:]
Chaps who did taps aren't tapping anymore
They're doing choreography
Chicks who did kicks aren't kicking anymore
They're doing choreography
Queens with routines
That would stop the show in days that used to be
One and all they're not chancing
What we used to call dancing
Instead of dance, it's choreography
Jakes who did breaks aren't breaking anymore
They're doing choreography
Who did softshoe doesn't do it anymore
They're doing choreography
Heps who did steps
That would stop the show in days that used to be
Through the air they keep flying
Like a duck that is dying
Instead of dance, it's choreography
[As sung in the film:]
The the'ter, the the'ter
What's happened to the the'ter?
Especially where dancing is concerned
Chaps who did taps aren't tapping anymore
They're doing choreography
Chicks who did kicks aren't kicking anymore
They're doing choreography
Heps who did steps
That would stop the show in days that used to be
Through the air they keep flying
Like a duck that is dying
Instead of dance, it's choreography

[Verse:]
Charlie Younge lay smoking on his bunk one night
Something happened, filling Charlie Younge with fright
Someone placed a bunch of firecrackers under his bunk
And touched the stem of each of them
With a piece of lighted punk
Charlie jumped up in the air
Filled with rage he started to swear
[Refrain:]
'Hop Toy, Ming Foy, Sing Goy, Ung Loy
Suey Pow, Yenshee Gow Main'
That bunch of crackers exploded
With a bing, bang, boom
And so did Charlie Younge
In his native tongue
With a
'Hop Toy, Ming Foy, Sing Goy, Ung Loy
Hunka Chinee punk'
Which means
'Who the 'hell-ee' put those firecrackers under my bunk?'

Dukta Dukta
Sha hey mo ringta
Cha-wa-ooh eh
Hoo-eh
Hey ah prina
Ha ley ha blue eh
Ta hee ah hu-eh
Ta hee ah hu-eh

[1st refrain:]
Money, money, money, money, money, money
Can you use any money today?
Money, money, money, money, money, money
Nice new bills that we're giving away
There are photographs on ev'ry one
Lincoln, Grant and Washington
Or you might like the ones with Henry Clay
Can you use any money today?
Two million, four million, six million, eight million, ten
Take what you want, when it's gone you can come back again
Bills that haven't been printed yet
You can have them by the sack
Coins that haven't been minted yet
That you never have to give back
Money, money, money, money, money, money
Uncle Sam puts it right on the line
And if we ever run out of checks for him to sign
You can have mine
All of mine
You can have mine
[2nd refrain:]
Money, money, money, money, money, money
Can you use any dollars today?
Money, money, money, money, money, money
We've so much that it gets in our way
In our Treas'ry there's a mighty sum
Millions we've subtracted from
The envelopes that hold our take home pay
Can you use any money today?
Home in the states underground there's a cave full of gold
Back up a truck and we'll fill it with all it can hold
Take ten million and please don't fuss
If you find it can't be spent
You can lend it right back to us
And we'll pay you seven percent
Money, money, money, money, money, money
Uncle Sam puts it right on the line
And if that feller with whiskers ever should decline
You can have mine
All of mine
You can have mine

[1st verse:]
Spooning and crooning they sit
Loving it quite a bit
Telling lies by the pack
See him steal a kiss from the pretty miss
Watch him put it back, smack!
'Honey, oh, honey, I swear
By my hair that I care
For nobody but you
Can't you tell the way I woo
That I love you, love you true?'
Then the maiden sings this chorus old
But sings it, oh, so new
[Refrain:]
Bring me a ring in the Spring
And I'll know that you love me
A simple band of gold
Just like your father gave your mother in the days of old
Say what you may, what you say
Doesn't mean that you love me
So if you want me to
Love you true
Bring me a ring in the Spring
And I'll know that you love me
[2nd verse:]
'Whispering nothings, my dear
In my ear when I'm near
Is as sweet as can be
But I sit and grieve when you have to leave
That's what worries me, see!
When I'm just bathing in woe
Don't you know that my beau
Should be right by my side?
Then again I've tried and tried
To become a blushing bride
If you love me, tie it with a knot
That cannot be untied'

[1st verse:]
Nellie Green met Harry Lee
At a masquerade the other night
He liked she and she liked he
Just a case of love at single sight
He took Nellie home that eve
Also took the number of her phone
Just before he took his leave
Nellie whispered in the cutest tone
[Refrain:]
Call me up some rainy afternoon
I'll arrange for a quiet little spoon
Think of all the joy and bliss
We can hug and we can talk about the weather
We can have a quiet little talk
I will see that my mother takes a walk
Mum's the word when we meet
Be a mason, don't repeat
Angel eyes, are you wise?
Goodbye
[2nd verse:]
He look'd wise, then looked for rain
Sure enough it rained that Saturday
'Give me three, four, five, six Main
Nellie dear, prepare I'm on my way'
When he rang the front door bell
No one there responded to his call
Soon he heard his pretty Nell
Singing to somebody in the hall
[2nd refrain:]
Call me up some rainy afternoon
Then again how's the evening for a spoon
Call around tomorrow night
We can then put out that fire in the furnace
My mama will sure be out of town
She'll be entertained by Mister Brown
My Papa won't be 'round, he will call on Missus Brown
Angel pet, don't forget
Goodbye

[1st verse:]
All the boys are feeling blue
Seems they don't know what to do
One little wonderful girl
Set all their hearts in a whirl
Ever since she came to town
She has turned things upside down
They'd love to speak of romance
But they never get the chance
[Refrain:]
She's so beautiful Oh! so beautiful
But! She's just the least bit crazy
She's so wonderful Oh! so wonderful
But! She's a nut She's a nut
She looks like Tiffany's window
When she's got her jewels on
In her limousine
She looks like a queen
But! She's just a little bit gone
All the boys in town
Follow her around
But! She doesn't seem to know it
They have never met
For they never get
An invitation to call
She's got a husband who is eighty years old
He's got a million and a terrible cold
She's just a little bit crazy
About her husband, that's all
[2nd verse:]
All the other girls in town
Wear a rather jealous frown
She has upset their affairs
Taken the boys unawares
Still the boys are feeling blue
They are puzzled what to do
Her beauty drives them insane
Still they pursue her in vain

[Verse:]
All alone I am yearning to be with you again
For a spark is still burning, it will ever remain
But I'm yearning in vain
[Refrain:]
The moon is high, the sky is blue
And here am I, but where are you?
A night like this was meant for two
And I am here, but where are you?
Have you forgotten
The night that we met?
With so much to remember
How could you forget?
The dreams I dream have yet to come true
My dreams and I are here, but where are you?

I got the sun, the moon, the stars, the sky
And things of a personal have I
But I ain't got a man, I ain't got a man
They say I'm blessed with what it takes for guys
And there is a definite gleam in my eyes
What's the good of a gleam in your eyes
When you ain't got a man?
Love
I'm a sitting duck, a wounded quail or grouse
What's the good of love without a man around the house?
I got the ground, the dough to build a hut
I've talked to the architect who'll do the job, but
What's the good of a house that is built on a blueprint or plan
When you ain't got a man, when you ain't got a man

[1st verse:]
Abie Bloom loved Miss Rosie Cohen
Abie as a bus'ness man was in a class alone
Rosie's family were satisfied
Abie owned a clothing store, a bus'ness man
Ev'ry month Rosie's father Mose
Walked in Abie's clothing store and took a suit of clothes
One day Abie drew Rosie near
And whispered these words in her ear:
[Refrain:]
Bus'ness is bus'ness, Miss Rosie Cohen
I've got to pay for ev'rything I own
Seven suits of clothes your father took out from my store
All he says is 'Charge it to my future son-in-law'
Tell your expensive father C.O.D.
Don't mean, 'Come on down to my store'
Ev'ry little dollar carries int'rest all it's own
Bus'ness is bus'ness, Rosie Cohen!
[2nd verse:]
Abie said, 'Listen Rosie dear
Ev'ry month a suit means just a dozen suits a year
Seven years and then your father Mose
He will have enough to start a clothing store
Then again, father is no fool
He can tell a cotton suit from one that's made of wool
Since I fell in love with you Rose
Your father is so hard on clothes

[Verse:]
Snappy music is the only music that was ever meant for me
A little spice is very nice in ev'ry melody
Let me mingle with a peppy jingle
That the jazz bands love to play
I'm a swifty
Very nifty
That's why I say
[Refrain:]
Bring on the pepper
We need a lot of pepper
You've got to be a stepper with a barrel of speed
Make it good and snappy if you want to get by
Make 'em think you're happy though you're ready to die
When you begin it
Put lots of ginger in it
About a mile a minute is the tempo we need
Slow folks are no folks
To trouble with, no, indeed!
Lots of pep will make an undertaker
Rock with joy and laughter
If you can sprinkle a cute little twinkle
You'll find that's the wrinkle we're after
Just keep a-goin'
And don't forget to throw in
A bit of Georgie Cohan that we know
Lots of tobasco
That's all we ask so
Bring on the pepper, let's go

[1st verse:]
Kindly lend an ear to my appeal
I've lost the only man I had
You will know just how I feel
When I tell you I'm sadder than sad!
Ever since he left I'm looking pale
And ev'ry day I lose a pound
Won't you help me look around
Till my ever-lovin' man is found
[Refrain:]
Bring back my lovin' man
Bring back my great big bunch of sweetness
Bring back them kisses sweet
Find 'em! Find 'em!
The kisses with the steam behind 'em!
Beneath the carpet in my hall
I got a little money
Take it all! Take it all!
If you will bring back
To me my ever-lovin' man
[2nd verse:]
All I do is worry, day and night
I've lost the roses off my cheek
And I've lost my appetite
Haven't eaten a thing for a week
If you saw the foolish things I do
I know you'd stand right up and laugh
I've just kiss'd away 'most half
Of his ever-lovin' photograph

[1st verse:]
You know how you feel when your rich Uncle dies
And leaves you a lot and a house?
Well, that's how I felt when I first met Miss Lena
Sweet little neat Lena Kraus
I just hate to think how she came in my life
Like a landlord what comes for the rent
The rent was my heart when she took it apart
Just how she came she went
[1st refrain:]
Oh, when I think of my Lena
My face turns so white just like starch
The hand organs play pretty love songs all day
But to me it's just plain fun'ral march
It's bad to be sad, to be glad when you're sad
Can't be did as you all must agree
If you feel like I feel and you hear my appeal
Oh! bring back my Lena to me
[2nd verse:]
I cry when I think what a woman she was
What cost dollars she bought for a cent
When she broke a glass why it wouldn't be broke
Ach! no, it would only be bent
To cry over milk that's been spilt isn't good
But the feeling that I'm feeling now
It wasn't just one glass of milk that I spilt
When Lena went, then went the cow
[2nd refrain:]
Oh, when I think of my Lena
I think of a girl who could cook
Some sweet sauerkraut that would swim in your mouth
Like the fishes that swim in the brook
When I think of a meal that was real I just feel
Like a ship with no sail on the sea
There's no tears in my eyes, but my appetite cries
Oh! bring back my Lena to me

[1st verse:]
Barnum and Bailey were wonderful showmen
In the theatrical world there are no men
Who would claim to be their equal
And the sequel
Was, they made the 'tin,' packed them in ev'ry season
I know it well and I'll tell you the reason
They were a pair of handbill throwers
Horn blowers
You must talk about yourself
Or they'll put you on the shelf
[Refrain:]
Blow your horn
Let 'em know you're comin'
Blow your horn
That'll start 'em hummin'
Just make a whole lot of noise
The only way to collar ev'ry dollar is to holler
Mister Barnum said
Ev'ry other minute
There's another one born
You'll strike it
Just like Barnum
Make 'em like it
Gosh darn 'em
Yell out
You'll sell out
If you'll only blow your horn
[2nd verse:]
Some people argue against advertising
How they can feel as they do is surprising
I'm a walking eight sheet poster
I'm a boaster
The red, white and blue and its value was doubted
Till Georgie Cohan started singing about it
Now, ev'ryone who was against it
Commenced it
You will be a household word
If you just make yourself heard

[Verse:]
I used to own a vicious looking dog who wouldn't bite
I used to know a dangerous looking man who couldn't fight
My brother trained wild animals but they were really tame
And now I've tasted of a drink that strikes me just the same
[Refrain:]
Bevo, oh, oh, oh, Bevo
You're the grandest imitation that we know
You're the only drink that a soldier can pick
You taste like lager but you haven't got the kick, oh!
Bevo, oh, oh, oh, Bevo
Tho' you haven't got a punch up your sleeve-o
All the soldiers insist
That a Christian Scientist
Could easily come staggering home on Bevo

[Verse:]
'For ev'ry rose that withers and dies
Another blooms in its stead
A new love waits to open its eyes
After the old love is dead'
That sounds all right in a careless rhyme
But there's seldom a second time
[Refrain:]
Better luck next time
That could never be
Because there ain't gonna be no next time for me
No, siree
Made up my mind to make another start
I've made my mind up but I can't make up my heart
I'd like a new lucky day
That would be nice
But this comes just once in a lifetime
Not twice
So don't say
Better luck next time
That can never be
Because there ain't gonna be no next time for me

[Verse:]
Very many years ago
Mister Edgar Allan Poe
Wrote a little poem I know
Called 'Bells'
When I read those clever rhymes
Of the many different chimes
I could almost hear them ringing
Ding dong dinging
[Refrain:]
Phone bells, sleigh bells
And very merry Christmas day bells
The brazen fire bells that ring with fear
And happy New Year bells that ring out once a year
Cow bells, door bells
For all I know there may be more bells
But the poet tells
That wedding bells
Have the sweetest little ding dong of all

[Verse:]
Be careful of the Senorita
Who knows the value of a fan
That's how a beautiful Chiquita
Becomes acquainted with a man
I've seen them flirting with a stranger
And when the game of love began
He didn't realize the danger
Behind her fan
[Refrain:]
Eyes of brown are peeping at you
From behind the fan
No one knows just what they can do
To the heart of a man
There behind a shelter of lace
Lies a hidden plan
You may find a heavenly face
With the heart of a devil behind the fan

[1st verse:]
Jealous little maid was sadly crying
Crying 'cause her little heart was hurt
Told her fellow there was no denying
She saw him flirt
Fellow whispers, 'Let your heart be cheery
Won't you let me dry those tears away?
Be your own sweet self and cuddle near me
There is something sweet I want to say'
[Refrain:]
I may take a walk with Dolly
I may smile at pretty May
I may have a talk with Molly
Or with Polly, or even Fay
I may flirt with charming Carrie
As another boy would do
But before I go and marry
I will have a talk with you
[2nd verse:]
'When I noticed something sweet in Molly
That's the time I loved your baby smile
When I saw how cute and neat was Dolly
I liked your style
Fellows raved to me about a prize, dear
Meaning Carrie's pretty eyes of blue
So I went and gazed into her eyes, dear
That's the day I fell in love with you

[Verse:]
Why am I lonely and why am I blue?
And why am I thinking, just thinking of you?
Why should I care if you've broken your vow?
And why do I wonder who's kissing you now?
[Refrain:]
Because I love you
I've tried so hard but can't forget
Because I love you
You linger in my memory yet
Because I miss you
I often wish we'd never met
And though you left a tear
As a souvenir
It doesn't matter dear
Because I love you
[2nd verse:]
Off with the old love and on with the new
Is easy to say but not easy to do
What does it matter how far we're apart
You're out of my life, dear, but still in my heart

[Verse:]
Lonesome little shopgirl
Sitting home alone
No boy about
To take her out
She is very pretty
But nobody knows
Lonesome little Rose
Hasn't any clothes
[Refrain:]
Beautiful faces need beautiful clothes
Satins and laces, nice ribbons and bows
An ankle may be a joy
But any boy who gazes
Won't warble its praises
Unless it's covered by attractive hose
Many a shopgirl whom nobody knows
Would be the top girl in musical shows
If she were dressed in the best
From her head right down to her toes
For beautiful faces need beautiful clothes

[Verse:]
There's nothing new beneath the sun
Except the new dance I've invented
And it's really lots of fun
Come on now, take your place
And soon you'll get the knack
You don't stand face to face
You do it back to back
[Refrain:]
Dancing back to back
Takes you off the beaten track
You don't look at your partner at all
When you dance back to back
That's that new attack
That the other dances lack
You can see what goes on in the hall
When you dance back to back
Your partner won't see you
Make eyes at who's dancing by
Your partner won't mind it
She's doing the same, that's why
You must dance back to back
Let me place you in the pack
Cut the cards and I'll deal you a queen and a jack
Back to back
[Patter, in film:]
Take your partner on the floor and stand back to back
Hold your partner gently by the hand back to back
After you have done it, you'll get hep to the knack
'Stead of steppin' front to front, you step back to back
Everybody's dancing back to back [... etc.]

[Verse:]
What a beautiful morning
What a wonderful day
We can hear the birds singing
As we go on our way
Like a couple of children
We're so happy and gay
For we've been married two years now
And we're gonna be divorced today
[Refrain:]
The Judge is waiting
At the court around the corner
For the wife and me
With the final decree
You'll see a happy groom and bride
Standing side by side
Receiving congratulations
When the knot is untied
A foxy lawyer
At the court around the corner
Will collect his fee
The minute we're free
We'll be divorced and then
We'll soon be married again
At the court around the corner
The little wife and me

[Verse:]
The day is done, the setting sun is sinking behind the blue
And on its way it seems to say I'm glad that my work is through
Night is drawing near, stars will soon appear
Buildings are beginning to light up their windows
And as for me I'm glad to be
At peace with the world with you
[Refrain:]
I love to spend the evening
At peace with the world with you
A cozy room, a comf'table chair
And never a care as long as you're there
The day may have its worries
For skies are not always blue
But when the day has flown, how sweet to be alone
At peace with the world, in the evening with you
[Alternate word: 'golden' for 'setting']

[1st verse:]
Tonight I'm dreaming of Araby
That's where my dreams seem to carry me
Where ev'rything is Oriental
And ev'ryone is sentimental
There in the shade of the shelt'ring palms
I met a maiden fair
I long to hold her gently in my arms
Oh, how I wish I was there
[Refrain:]
Araby, when shades of night appear
I seem to hear you calling
Araby, you seem to beckon and I reckon
I'll be hurrying back again
Seems to me
A maiden's face appears
I see her tears are falling
Falling because I left her there
That's why I long to be
Where all those happy faces
Wait for me
Beside the fair oasis
Soon, you'll see
Within a caravan
An Arab man will take me
Over the desert back to Araby
[2nd verse:]
Someday you'll find me in Araby
Where someone's waiting to marry me
I can't forget the day we parted
She said I left her broken hearted
I helped her on to a camel's back
Before she rode away
She made me promise that I would come back
I'll keep my promise someday

[Stage version:]
[Opening Letter]
[Secretary:]
Mister Lebowitz's office
He's busy
Who shall I say?
Yes, sir
I'll be glad to
I'll tell him
Okay
[Lawyer:]
Take a letter to Mr. B. G. DeSylva
My dear Mister DeSylva
I've read the book of your show
And as your legal advisor, I'm writing to let you know
That you're skating on very thin ice
And since you've asked my advice
Let me warn you it can't be done
I know it's all in fun
But there is a state called Louisiana
And anyone can tell
That both your acts are based on facts
And they're gonna be sore as hell
You won't get away with it -- they'll sue
You and Ryskind and Berlin, too
Because
There are laws
Laws that specifically say
You can't write a book or a play
Based on characters living today
And that's what you've done
I know it's in fun
But, for instance, the very first scene
The character you call the Dean
You've changed the name but just the same
They're going to know who you mean
And you won't get away with it, oh no
The minute you open they'll close the show
And they'll sue
They'll sue
You and Ryskind and Berlin, too
And the cast will go to jail
Of that I have no doubt
But speaking as your attorney
Let me say that there is a way out
You can make the whole thing legal
Without changing a line in your book
It can still be Louisiana
You can call a crook a crook
But you must say it's based on fiction
And everything will be fine
Yours truly, Sam Lebowitz
Of Rafferty, Driscoll and O'Brien
[Opening Chorus]
[Louisianans:]
Before we start the show
We'd like to have you know
The characters portrayed
In our musical charade
Have not been based on persons living or dead
They've all been made up out of the author's head
Instead
The things that we reveal
Never happened, they're not real
In spite of what you've heard or what you've read
The politicians we investigate
Could come from Maine or Kansas, or Montana
So we laid our story in a mythical state
A mythical state we call Louisiana
Within our simple plot
You'll notice quite a lot
Of references to crooks
Who have monkeyed with their books
And with those gentlemen we're not too gentle
If they seem like men you've read about
It's purely accidental
The law says shows like this one can get by
With one restriction
It must be fiction
We've tried to stay within the law, that's why
We laid the scenes
In New Orleans
A city we've invented so that there would be no fuss
If there is such a place, it's certainly news to us
Again, the same old word
No matter what you've heard
The villains in our show
Are just characters, and so
If an arrow seems to strike
Someone who's investigated
If he looks to you just like
Someone to whom you're related
Don't go out and sue
We don't mean you
It's fiction so don't be temperamental
If your sons are millionaires
Don't start trembling in your britches
When a character declares
That you're dirty sons of riches
Don't go out and sue
We don't mean you
The likeness is purely accidental
So, please bear this in mind
Our show is of the mythical kind
The book is mythical
The score is mythical
To make them mythical was our only chance
The girls are mythical
The boys are mythical
And now we'll let our mythical show advance
And go into our mythical dance
[Film version:]
[Opening Letter]
[Lawyer:]
Take a letter to Paramount Studios, Hollywood
Gentlemen,
I've read the book of your show
And as your legal advisor, I'm writing to let you know
That it really can't be done
I know it's all in fun
But there is a state called Louisiana
And anyone can tell
That they're gonna be sore as --
Well, you won't get away with it -- they'll sue
You and the writers and the actors, too
Because
There are laws
Laws that specifically say
You can't write a book or a play
Based on characters living today
Yes, the cast will go to jail
Of that I have no doubt
But speaking as your attorney
Let me say that there is a way out
You can make the whole thing legal
Without changing a line in your book
It can still be Louisiana
You can call a crook a crook
But you must say it's based on fiction
And everything will be fine
Yours truly, Sam Horowitz
Of Rafferty, Driscoll and O'Brien
[Opening Chorus]
[Louisianans:]
Before the picture starts
We say with all our hearts
The characters portrayed
In our musical charade
Have not been based on persons living or dead
They've all been made up out of the author's head
The politicians we investigate
Could come from Kansas, Maine or Indiana
So we laid our story in a mythical state
A mythical state we call Louisiana
Within our simple plot
You'll notice quite a lot
Of references to crooks
Who have monkeyed with their books
The law says shows like this one can get by
With one restriction
It must be fiction
We've tried to stay within the law, that's why
We laid the scenes
In New Orleans
A city we've invented so that there would be no fuss
If there is such a place, it's certainly news to us
Yes, it's certainly, certainly news to us
Mythical! Mythical!
Fiction! Fiction!
Mythical! Mythical!
Fiction! Fiction!
Mythical! Fiction!
Mythical! Fiction!
Aaaaah!

Come on and hear (2x), Alexander's Ragtime Band,
Come on and hear (2x), it's the best band in the land!
They can play a bugle call like you never heard before,
So natural that you want to go to war--
That's just the bestest band what am, Honey Lamb!
Come on along (2x), let me take you by the hand
Up to the man (2x), who's the leader of the band,
And if you want to hear the Swanee River played in ragtime
Come on and hear (2x), Alexander's Ragtime Band!

[Verse:]
The tall man with the high hat and the whiskers on his chin
Will soon be knocking at your door and you ought to be in
The tall man with the high hat will be coming down your way
Get your savings out when you hear him shout 'Any bonds today?'
Refrain:]
Any bonds today?
Bonds of freedom
That's what I'm selling
Any bonds today?
Scrape up the most you can
Here comes the freedom man
Asking you to buy a share of freedom today
Any stamps today?
We'll be blest
If we all invest
In the U.S.A.
Here comes the freedom man
Can't make tomorrow's plan
Not unless you buy a share of freedom today
First came the Czechs and then came the Poles
And then the Norwegians with three million souls
Then came the Dutch, the Belgians and France
Then all of the Balkans with hardly a chance
It's all in the Book if only you look
It's there if you read the text
They fell ev'ry one at the point of a gun
America mustn't be next
Any bonds today?
All you give
Will be spent to live
In the Yankee way
Scrape up the most you can
Here comes the freedom man
Asking you to buy a share of freedom today

Angels of mercy, there's so much to do
The heavens are gray overhead
Angels of mercy, they're calling to you
So march with your crosses of red
March where the darkness shuts out the light
March where there is no dawn
Angels of mercy, the world's covered with night
But your mercy goes marching on
Angels of mercy thru darkest night
Your mercy goes marching on

[1st verse:]
I had girls by the score
Yes, a hundred or more
Each one as nice as could be
It was hard to decide
Which I'd want for my bride
They all looked lovely to me
While I was trying to choose one
I met a wonderful girl
She came tripping along
Like a beautiful song
Setting my brain in a whirl
[Refrain:]
I was growing very fond of Molly
When along came Ruth, along came Ruth
I thought an awful lot of Dolly
When Ruth came along
My head began to 'Merry-go-round'
I almost married Polly
I was making love to May
When along came Ruth
And to tell the truth
She stole my heart away
[2nd verse:]
There's a right little girl
With the right little curl
For ev'ry right little boy
When she comes, you'll forget
All the others you've met
Sorrow will turn into joy
She doesn't have to be pretty
She doesn't have to be wise
When she comes you will find
Tho' they say love is blind
She'll make you open your eyes

[1st verse:]
When I was young
My father said to me 'Learn a trade
Learn a trade
Do me a favor and become an engraver
For engravers are well-paid
If I'd have done what father wanted
Imagine what I'd miss
There is no doubt
I was cut out
For a life like this
[1st refrain:]
I come around to the theatre in my automobile
Singing, 'This is the life, this is the life'
Surrounded by chorus ladies in the troupe
I spend all my time in a chicken coop
They come to my dressing room as cute as can be
Saying 'Won't you hook up my dress for me?'
And it makes me mad to think my dear old dad
Wanted me to learn a trade
[2nd verse:]
When I come out
With lots of powder upon my sleeve
On my sleeve
Somebody rested on my new double-breasted
I believe you've got me, Steve
I always kiss the prima donna
In every we scene we act
Leave it to me
That has to be
It's in my contract
[2nd refrain:]
I leave the show ev'ry evening in my automobile
Singing, 'This is the life, this is the life'
My supper consists of chicken a la King
I get indigestion and everything
A ring on my finger with a four carat stone
Twenty payments more and it's all my own
And it makes me mad to think my dear old dad
Wanted me to learn a trade

[Verse:]
I've a longing to go
Where the oranges grow
I know a cozy nest
'Way out west
And I miss it so
California my own
Oh how lonely I've grown
That's why I'm on the run
To the one
I left there all alone
[Refrain:]
Arm in arm we will rove
Thro' a sweet orange grove
Far away in California
Like a bird I mean to fly west again
And I'll hold her close to my breast again
When the blossoms unfold
And the green turns to gold
Some fine day in California
You'll see a happy girlie and a happy fellow
'Mid the fields of yellow
In an orange grove

[Frank's Refrain:]
We'll have an old-fashioned wedding
Blessed in the good old-fashioned way
I'll vow to love you forever
You'll vow to love and honor and obey
Somewhere in some little chapel
Someday when orange blossoms bloom
We'll have an old-fashioned wedding
A simple wedding for an old-fashioned bride and groom
[Annie's Refrain (In Counterpoint):]
I wanna wedding in a big church with bridesmaids and flower girls
A lot of ushers in tailcoats, reporters and photographers
A ceremony by a bishop who will tie the knot and say
'Do you agree to love and honor?' Love and honor, yes, but not obey
I wanna wedding ring surrounded by diamonds in platinum
A big reception at the Waldorf with champagne and caviar
I wanna wedding like the Vanderbilts have, ev'rything big, not small
If I can't have that kind of a wedding I don't wanna get married at all
[Codas (In Counterpoint):]
[Frank:]
We'll have an old-fashioned wedding
[Annie:]
If it's not a big wedding I don't wanna get married at all

[Verse:]
Nothing's as old as last year's rhythm, nothing's forgotten so soon
Nothing's as dated as last year's syncopated tune
Ragtime is dead and so is jazz, and swing will leave us cold
There's only one kind of music that never grows old
[Refrain:]
An old-fashioned tune always is new
It never seems to go out of style
For just when you start thinking it's through
It comes down from the shelf with a smile
A simple melody will always linger
I mean the kind you pick out with one finger
If you have some thoughts rhyming with June
Express them in an old-fashioned tune

Eagles, American eagles
America sings of her wings in the sky
Eagles, American eagles
America's strong just as long as they fly
Give us some more bombers to attack with
More bombers till the skies are black with
Eagles, American eagles
America sings of her kings in the sky

[1st verse:]
See those sweethearts
They've just been married, they'll be leaving soon
They're getting ready to begin a lifelong honeymoon
See the old folks crowding around them
Gladness fills the room
Just hear the bride's old mother
Whispering to the groom
[Refrain:]
Treat her like a baby, for she's only a baby
When you take her with you, lad
You are taking all we had
I know she'll be a comfort to you like she's always been to me
So do be kind and keep unhappiness away
And when you find her golden hair is turning gray
Continue to treat her like a baby
[2nd verse:]
See those sweethearts
Rocking a cradle with a baby boy
After a year of wedded bliss, he came to bring them joy
Listen to them planning his future
Hear his father say
'I picture some girl's mother
Saying to him someday'
[Double version:]
I would like to marry you, honey
-You don't mean it, dear
Honest and truly, won't you have me?
-You won't do, I fear
I've saved up a bundle of money
-Love you cannot buy
How can I make you love me?
-Dear, would you like to try?
-Treat me like a baby
You'll grow tired of it maybe
-Baby names just set me wild
I think you're a spoiled child
-At night when I grow tired and weary
I'll hold you on my knee
-And while I sleep
I'll keep the 'boogie-man' away
-I'll never weep
And when your hair is turning gray
-Continue to treat me
Like a baby

[1st verse:]
You know the tale of the girl who was sittin'
By the fire, with her kitten
It's a story that was written long ago
You know that she was about to retire
When the glass above the fire
Seemed to suddenly expire like the snow
You know when the way was cleared
That she disappeared
Thro' the looking glass
You know that her name was Alice
So come along if you care
We'll take you there
You must prepare
To be a kiddie like you were when you read
Of the girl who was sittin' by the fire with her kitten
In the story that was written long ago
[Refrain:]
Come along with Alice
Into wonderland
To the lovely palace
Where they're all so grand
See the funny people
Strolling hand in hand
Come along and pass through the looking glass
Into wonderland
[2nd VERSE (more or less):]
Come take a peep at the queer-looking duchess
With the rabbit in her clutches
Which is just about as mauch as he can stand
There's Tweedledum, Tweedledee, hear them prattle
All about the broken rattle
Tweedledee has got a battle on his hands
Look here, you can see the Walrus
And there's the Carpenter by his side
Look there, at the little oysters
And Humpty Dumpty who'd fall
Down from the wall
That isn't all
You'll be delighted with the high-hatted man
Called the mad little hatter
Never mind about his patter
'Cause it really doesn't matter but it's grand

[1st verse:]
Alexander Adams played a clarinet
Brought out music that no one has brought out yet
Miss Eliza Johnson was his angel pet
And Alexander was her one best bet
Strange to say they quarreled on last Sunday night
Monday evening Alexander came in sight
Played his clarinet beneath her window light
To hear Eliza yell with all her might
[Refrain:]
Honey, is that you? yes, yes
Don't even have to guess, my honey, what brought you?
Oh pet, I see you brought your clarinet
My honey, I'm angry, no, no
For lawdy sake don't dare to go
My pet, I love you yet
And then besides, I love your clarinet
[2nd verse:]
Alexander played his clarinet with vim
Up to Liza's door, then played himself right in
When he got inside he played and played like sin
Then played her cards to see who'd buy the gin
When he left, Miss Liza tried some sleep to get
Dreamt her Romeo came back to Juliet
Also dreamt he brought with him his clarinet
If no one woke her, she'd be shouting yet

[1st verse:]
Listen to me, honey dear
Something's wrong with you I fear
It's getting harder to please you
Harder and harder each year
I don't want to make you blue
But you need a talking to
Like a lot of people I know
Here's what's wrong with you
[Refrain:]
After you get what you want, you don't want it
If I gave you the moon, you'd grow tired of it soon
You're like a baby
You want what you want when you want it
But after you are presented
With what you want, you're discontented
You're always wishing and wanting for something
When you get what you want
You don't want what you get
And tho' I sit upon your knee
You'll grow tired of me
'Cause after you get what you want
You don't want what you wanted at all
[2nd verse:]
Don't you say that I'm unkind
Think it over and you'll find
You've got a changeable nature
You're always changing your mind
There's a longing in your eye
That is hard to satisfy
You're unhappy most of the time
Here's the reason why
[Alternate Line:]
And tho' you sit upon my knee

[1st verse:]
Before you get married your sweetheart is your sweetheart to the dot
But after you marry, your sweetheart, girls
Becomes your sweetheart not
Of course there are many exceptions
To most ev'ry rule, but then
In this very case, any time, any place
Eleven times out of ten
[Refrain:]
After the honeymoo-oon
After the honeymoon
I'll wager my life there are millions of men
Who wish that their wives were their sweethearts again
After it's Mister and Missus
There's often a year between kisses
A sweet wedding cake only gives you an ache
After the honeymoon
[2nd verse:]
Before your engagement you want your love to stand and stand around
But after the wedding, it changes to
'For goodness sake sit down!'
You want who you want in the summer
You get who you want that fall
But after you've got who you wanted, it's not
The one whom you wanted at all

1st refrain:]
Upon a February morn
A tiny baby boy was born
Abraham, Abraham
When he grew up this tiny babe
Folks all called him Honest Abe
Abraham, Abraham
In eighteen sixty, he became
The sixteenth president
And now he's in the hall of fame
A most respected gent
That's why we celebrate
This blessed February date
Abraham, Abraham
When black folks lived in slavery
Who was it set the darkie free?
Abraham, Abraham
When trouble came down from the shelf
Who's heart was bigger than himself?
Abraham, Abraham
The country's going to the dogs
They shouted loud and long
Then from a cabin made out of logs
The right man come along
And that is why we celebrate
This blessed February date
Abraham, Abraham
The U.S.A.'s united thanks
To one whose name was Nancy Hanks
Abraham, Abraham
She gave this land the finest son
Who ever went to Washington
Abraham, Abraham
Someone told him General Grant
Was drinking every night
He answered, 'Go see if you can't
Get all my generals tight'
That's why we celebrate
This blessed February date
Abraham, Abraham
[Coda:]
Thank the Lord for
Abraham
Abraham

[Verse:]
Now that your drinking days are thru
Come along with me
I've got a brand new jag for you
It's a melody
Syncopated music
Goes right to your head
I'd like to treat you to a cocktail
Before you go to bed
[Refrain:]
Come along, oh! come along
And have a syncopated cocktail
Come along, oh! come along with me
You'll find that anyone can get a bun
On a jazzy melody
Never mind your cocktail shakers
Just shake your lingerie
Your shimmies
Come along and hum a song
That's bound to make you kind of dizzy
Get a jag upon a raggy melody
They're fascinating, intoxicating
Come along and have a syncopated cocktail with me

A night in June, a silv'ry moon
A falling star, a steel guitar
A plaintive tune
A love-sick boy, a heart a-whirl
A serenade to an old-fashioned girl
A perfect dream, a matchless pearl
A serenade to an old-fashioned girl
A lovely maid, a half-drawn shade
A serenade to an old-fashioned girl

[As sung by Mitzi Gaynor and Ethel Merman:]
[Merman:] I'm an old salt
[Gaynor:] I'm a young salt
[Both:] In the Navy we've been working very hard
[Merman:] I was part of the Flotilla with Dewey in Manila
[Gaynor:] I'm a new recruit at the Brooklyn Navy yard
[Both:] Tonight we're on a spree and feeling flow'ry
[Both:] We've got a date with gals and drink and food
[Gaynor:] Across the Brooklyn Bridge and to the Bow'ry
[Merman:] And I'm gonna get the kid tattooed
[Gaynor:] Tattooed?
[Merman:] Tattooed!
[Both:] A sailor's not a sailor 'til a sailor's been tattooed
[Merman:]
Here's an anchor from a tanker
That I sailed upon when first I went to sea
Here's another of my mother
Takes me back to when I sat upon her knee
Here's a crimson heart with a Cupid's dart
Here's a Battle Cruiser and when I sit down
On that, too
There's a tattoo
Of my home town
[Gaynor:] To the Bow'ry
[Merman:] To the Bow'ry
[Gaynor:] 'Cross the Brooklyn Bridge and I'm just in the mood
[Merman:]
He'll be filled with diff'rent mixtures
And covered up with pictures
[Gaynor:]
I can't wait to be, 'twill be great to be tattooed
[Merman:] Tattooed?
[Gaynor:] Tattooed!
[Both:] A sailor's not a sailor 'til a sailor's been tattooed

A man chases a girl until she catches him
He runs after a girl until he's caught
He fishes for a girl until she's landed him
It all comes out exactly the way she thought
Uncertain, he tags along behind
Uncertain, till she makes up his mind
A man chases a girl until she catches him
But don't run too fast while you are saying 'No'
And once you've caught him don't ever let him go

[Refrain:]
A little bungalow an hour or so from anywhere
A little cozy nest, the kind that's best for two
Among the shady trees, with birds and bees, and lots of air
And just enough o' ground to fool around with you
Away from all the crowds we'll watch the clouds go drifting by
And when the moon above presents a lovely view
There'll be a room in blue, the one that you would occupy
It's understood that I would occupy it too

We're a couple of swells
We stop at the best hotels
But we prefer the country far away from the city smells
We're a couple of sports
The pride of the tennis courts
In June, July and August we look cute when we're dressed in shorts
The Vanderbilts have asked us up for tea
We don't know how to get there, no siree
No, siree
We would drive up the Avenue, but we haven't got the price
We would skate up the Avenue, but there isn't any ice
We would ride on a bicycle, but we haven't got a bike
So we'll walk up the Avenue
Yes, we'll walk up the Avenue
And to walk up the Avenue's what we like
Wall Street bankers are we
With plenty of currency
We'd open up the safe but we forgot where we put the key
We're the favorite lads
Of girls in the picture ads
We'd like to tell you who we kissed last night but we can't be cads
The Vanderbilts are waiting at the club
But how are we to get there, that's the rub
That's the rub
We would sail up the Avenue, but we haven't got a yacht
We would drive up the Avenue, but the horse we had was shot
We would ride on a trolley car but we haven't got the fare
So we'll walk up the Avenue
Yes, we'll walk up the Avenue
Yes, we'll walk up the Avenue till we're there
We would swim up the Avenue but we haven't any lake
So we'll walk up the Avenue
Yes, we'll walk up the Avenue
Yes, a walk up the Avenue's what we'll take

[As sung in film by Bing Crosby and Fred Astaire:]
[Both:] In us you see a couple of song and dance men
[Bing:] I'm the song
[Fred:] I'm the dance
[Both:] For laughter, joy and happiness, we're advance men
[Bing:] With a song
[Fred:] And a dance
[Bing:] I sing for my supper
[Fred:] I dance for my lunch
[Bing:] I croon when the landlord comes around
[Both:] For miles around the women and children pass out cold
[Bing:] When my voice hits the air
[Fred:] And my feet hit the ground
[Bing:] Last night
[Fred:] Out in the moonlight
[Bing:] I came to serenade
[Fred:] A very pretty maid
[Bing:] I sang her to sleep with 'Asleep in the Deep'
[Fred:] That always makes them collapse
[Bing:] I saw her eyes close, then she started to doze
[Fred:] But she arose when I sounded taps
[Both:] Which goes to show what women will do when we're around
[Bing:] And my voice hits the air
[Fred:] And my feet hit the ground

[Verse:]
Poets love to sing of Paris in the Spring
They say it's something that you can't conceive
I don't know a thing of Paris in the Spring
I've never been abroad but I believe
[Refrain:]
A beautiful day in Brooklyn is more beautiful
Than a beautiful day in any other place
When the sun comes shining through
Over Flatbush Avenue
You wake with a smile on your face
The weather man doesn't have to say it's beautiful
When you open your window ev'rything's okay
If a tree that grows in Brooklyn could speak, it would say
'A beautiful day in Brooklyn is a most beautiful day'

[1st verse:]
One little kiss, a moment of bliss, then hours of deep regret
One little smile, and after a while, a longing to forget
One little heartache left as a token
One little plaything carelessly broken
[Refrain:]
Remember the night, the night you said, 'I love you'
Remember
Remember you vowed by all the stars above you
Remember
Remember we found a lonely spot
And after I learned to care a lot
You promised that you'd forget me not
But you forgot to remember
[2nd verse:]
Into my dreams you wandered it seems, and then there came a day
You loved me too, my dreams had come true, and all the world was May
But soon the Maytime turned to December
You had forgotten, do you remember?

[1st verse:]
Not so far from here
There's a very lively atmosphere
Ev'rybody's going there this year
And there's a reason
The season opened last July
Ever since the U.S.A. went dry
Ev'rybody's going there and I'm going, too
I'm on my way to
[Refrain:]
Cuba, there's where I'm going
Cuba, there's where I'll stay
Cuba, where wine is flowing
And where dark-eyed Stellas
Light their fellers' Panatellas
Cuba, where all is happy
Cuba, where all is gay
Why don't you plan a
Wonderful trip
To Havana?
Hop on a ship
And I'll see you in C.U.B.A.
[2nd verse:]
Take a friend's advice
Drinking in a cellar isn't nice
Anybody who has got the price
Should be a Cuban
Have you been longing for the 'smile'
That you haven't had for quite a while?
If you have, then follow me and I'll show the way
I'm on my way to
[Counterpoint Refrain:]
Why don't you do your drinking like a Cuban
Instead of hiding in a cellar?
Since Prohibition, tell me, pal, have you been
A very frightened little feller?
Why don't you pour it from the bottle
'Stead of a tiny silver flask?
Drink your Scotch, rum and gin
Where the dries can't get in
The finest bars are there, cigars are there
That only are made in Cuba
I'm not a drinking lady, I never smoked a Panatella
But I'm a she who likes to be where all is gay, okay!
So let us leave our cares and troubles behind
And tell 'em our new address
Is where they stay up late and drink till they're blind?
Blind, but nevertheless
They're glad to see you in C.U.B.A.
[Coda:]
Why don't you travel with us on a train or a bus
To Miami where we can begin
To plan a wonderful trip on a plane or a ship
That'll take us from Florida to Havana?
See you in C.U.B.A!
[Alternate Lines:]
Cuba, that's where I'm going
Cuba, that's where I'll stay
And where those dark-eyed Stellas

[Kenneth's Refrain:]
I hear singing and there's no one there
I smell blossoms and the trees are bare
All day long I seem to walk on air
I wonder why
I wonder why
I keep tossing in my sleep at night
And what's more I've lost my appetite
Stars that used to twinkle in the skies
Are twinkling in my eyes
I wonder why
[Sally's Refrain (in counterpoint):]
You don't need analyzing
It is not so surprising
That you feel very strange but nice
Your heart goes pitter patter
I know just what's the matter
Because I've been there once or twice
Put your head on my shoulder
You need someone who's older
A rubdown with a velvet glove
There is nothing you can take
To relieve that pleasant ache
You're not sick
You're just in love

[1st verse:]
Big pale moon
Was shining down on Tennessee
Birds in tune
Sang love's sweet melody
Homesick coon
Was sighing tenderly
And pretty soon
I listened to his plea
[Refrain:]
Lindy, Lindy, how much longer must I wait?
The 'Good Book' says that man must take unto himself a mate
You need somebody who
Will cuddle up close to you
Next winter, Lindy
When the weather is windy
You know that birds and bees and chickens raise a family
And what was meant for them was meant for Lindy and me
[2nd verse:]
Big pale moon
Still shining down on Tennessee
Birds in tune
Hum that same melody
Honeymoon
Will come eventually
And that same coon
Is urging hopefully

[1st verse:]
My heart goes pitter patter, no one knows what's the matter
Just received a telegram from Alabam' my home
That's why I'm gonna worry 'til the time when I hurry
Right back to that cabin door, never more to roam
[Refrain:]
Some sunny day with a smile on my face
I'll go back to that place far away
Back to that shack and that red-headed hen
She'll say, 'How have you be'n?'
Then go back to the hay and lay me my breakfast
Some sunny day I'll be on that express
Flying away to my little bunch of happiness
Oh, how I pine for those lips sweet as wine
They'll be pressed close to mine some sunny day
[2nd verse:]
Sunny Spring is the season when birds sing, there's a reason
Rolling stones who hear their song begin to long for home
Lohengrin, Mister Verdi don't begin with a birdie
Telling you to go back home, never more to roam

[1st verse:]
Honey, did you see that bill
Pasted there on yonder hill?
Kindly pay attention
To what the letters mention
'Twill give you a wonderful thrill
Chase away those weary blues
Ain't you heard the happy news?
[Refrain:]
'Circus is coming to town
'Circus is coming to town
Two dozen acrobats from o'er the foam
And Salome
Hip-hip-hippodrome
Come see the comical clown
Turning himself upside-down
Come and purchase a photograph
Of the freaks and the big giraffe
Open your dining room and start to laugh
The circus is coming to town
[2nd verse:]
Come and see the big parade
Jazzy music will be played
Just before we're seated
I'll see that you are treated
To peanuts and red lemonade
Barnum had the right idea
Come and give him one big cheer

THEY GO TO-GETH-ER, LIKE SUN-NY WEATH-ER GOES WITH THE MONTH OF MAY.
I'VE STUD-IED GIRLS AND MU-SIC, SO I'M QUAL-I-FIED TO SAY
Chorus
A PRET-TY GIRL IS LIKE A MEL-O-DY THAT HAUNTS YOU NIGHT AND DAY,
JUST LIKE THE STRAIN OF A HAUNT-ING RE-FRAIN,
SHE'LL START UP-ON A MAR-A-THON AND RUN A-ROUND YOUR BRAIN.
YOU CAN'T ES- CAPE SHE'S IN YOUR MEM-O-RY. BY MORN-ING NIGHT AND NOON.
SHE WILL LEAVE YOU AND THEN COME BACK A-GAIN,

[1st verse:]
Hear the dicky birds singing
What a beautiful song
Serenading a couple
See them strolling along
Hear them talking it over
Hear them naming the day
The little chappy looks happy
Listen, can't you hear him say
[Refrain:]
Ev'rything is rosy now for Rosie
Ev'rything is rosy now for me
The bells are pealing
Oh, what a feeling
The future looks so flowery
There's a little cottage nice and cosy
Ev'rything was paid for C.O.D.
Now Rosie's busy with her wedding duds
Soon there'll be a lot of baby buds
Hanging 'round my Rosie and me
[2nd verse:]
Hear the wedding bells ringing
With a lovely ding dong
Hear the choir boys singing
What a beautiful song
Hear the minister saying
Honor, love and obey
They're all in clover, it's over
Listen to the bridegroom say

(musical intro)
I lost the sunshine and roses, I lost the heavens of blue,
I lost the beautiful rainbow, I lost the morning dew.
I lost the angel who gave me summer, the whole winter too.
I lost the gladness that turned into sadness,
When I lost you.
(musical interlude)
And I lost the angel who gave me summer, the whole winter too.
I lost the gladness that turned into sadness,

Gone is the romance that was so divine.
'tis broken and cannot be mended.
You must go your way,
And I must go mine.
But now that our love dreams have ended...
What'll I do
When you are far away
And I am blue
What'll I do?
What'll I do?
When I am wond'ring who
Is kissing you
What'll I do?
What'll I do with just a photograph
To tell my troubles to?
When I'm alone
With only dreams of you
That won't come true
What'll I do?

What'll I do with just a photograph
To tell my troubles to?
When I'm alone
With only dreams of you
That won't come true

Love is beautiful, love is swell
Love is as sweet as a nut
Love is grander than tongue can tell
Love is remarkable, but
Look at what it did to Antony
It made a fool out of Antony
If love could do that to Antony
What chance have I with love?
Look at what it did to Romeo
It dealt poor Romey an awful blow
If love could do that to Romeo
What chance have I with love?
Look at what it did to Samson
'Til he lost his hair he was brave
If a haircut could weaken Samson
They could murder me with a shave
Look at what it did to Bonaparte
He lost his head when he lost his heart
If he kicked over the apple cart
What chance have I
An ordinary guy

[Verse:]
It's smart to be thrifty when times are so bad
Let's be patriotic, but let's not go mad
We must cheer the colors we prize
So here's what I strongly advise
[Refrain:]
We'll just have two cheers instead of three
For the land of the brave and the free
Instead of three cheers, we'll just have two
For the red and the white and the blue
So when we cheer the stars and stripes here's what we'll do
We'll cheer the red and cheer the white but not the blue
And just have two cheers instead of three
For the land of the brave and the free
[Patter:]
Why give them three cheers when two will more than do?
If there must be cheers then let there just be two
And the speeches that you make to Uncle Sam

I just got an invitation through the mails:
"your presence requested this evening, it's formal
A top hat, a white tie and tails"
Nothing now could take the wind out of my sails
Because I'm invited to step out this evening
With top hat, white tie and tails
I'm puttin' on my top hat
Tyin' up my white tie
Brushin' off my tails
I'm dudein' up my shirt front
Puttin' in the shirt studs
Polishin' my nails
I'm steppin' out, my dear
To breathe an atmosphere that simply reeks with class
And I trust that you'll excuse my dust when I step on the gas
For I'll be there
Puttin' down my top hat
Mussin' up my white tie

This year's crop of kisses
Don't seem as sweet to me
This year's crop just misses
What kisses used to be
This year's new romance
Doesn't seem to have a chance
Even helped by mr. moon above
This year's crop of kisses is not for me

They say that falling in love is wonderful
It's wonderful, so they say
And, with a moon up above, it's wonderful
It's wonderful, so they tell me
I can't recall who said it
I know I never read it
I only know they tell me that love is grand
The thing that's known as romance is wonderful, wonderful
In every way, so they say

To leave your house some morning
And, without any warning
You're stopping people, shouting that love is grand
To hold a girl in your arms is wonderful, wonderful
In every way

There may be trouble ahead
But while there's music and moonlight (moonlight and music) and love and romance
Let's face the music and dance
Before the fiddlers have fled
Before they ask us to pay the bill, and while we still have that chance
Let's face the music and dance
Soon, we'll be without the moon
Humming a different tune - and then...
There may be teardrops to shed
So (but) while there's music and moonlight (moonlight and music) and love and romance
(let's face the music and dance, dance)
(let's face the music - let's here that music)

You're lonely and I'm lonely, so why can't we be lonely together?
The night is young and while it grows older
We can't forget crying on each other's shoulder.
The sky's cloudy 'cause we're lonely, but soon we'll see a change in the weather,

I've got the question
I've had it for days
You've got the answer, dear
I'll put the question
In one little phrase
Say what I want to hear
Who do you love I hope
Who would you kiss I hope
Who is it going to be
I hope, I hope, I hope it's me
Who do you want I hope
Who do you need I hope
Who is it going to be
I hope, I hope, I hope it's me
Is it the baker who gave you a cake
I saw that look in his eye
Is it the butcher who brought you a steak
Say that it is and I'll die
Who do you love I hope
Who would you kiss I hope
Who is it going to be
I hope, I hope, I hope it's me
I heard your question
The answer you know
Love is my middle name
You asked a question
That worried you so
Mind if I do the same
Who do you love I hope
Who would you kiss I hope
Who is it going to be
I hope, I hope, I hope it's me
Who do you want I hope
Who do you need I hope
Who is it going to be
I hope, I hope, I hope it's me
Is it the blondie who acted so shy
I heard the things that she said
Is it the redhead who gave you the eye
Say that it is and your dead
Who do you love I hope
Who would you kiss I hope
Who is it going to be

I love you which is easy to see
But I have to keep guessing how you feel about me
You listen to the words that I speak
But I feel that you listen with your tongue in your cheek
You're laughing at me
I can't get sentimental
For you're laughing at me I know
I want to be romantic but I haven't a chance
You've got a sense of humor, and humor is death to romance
You're laughing at me
Why do you think it's funny
When I say that I love you so?
You've got me worried and I'm all at sea
For while I'm crying for you

I could dance nightly
Just holding you tightly
My sweet
I could keep right on
Because you're so light on
Your feet
You're easy to dance with
There is no doubt in
The way we stand out in
The crowd
Though it's called dancing
To me it's romancing
Out loud
You're easy to dance with
Loving you
The way I do
Makes you easy to dance with
That is why I'm always right on the beat
All those charms
In one man's arms
Makes you easy to dance with
I can hardly keep my mind on my feet
Let's dance forever
Come on, say we'll never
Be through

Can't run away from you, dear
I've tried so hard but I fear
You'll always follow me near and far
Just when I think that I'm set
Just when I've learned to forget
I close my eyes, dear, and there you are
You keep coming back like a song
A song that keeps saying, remember
The sweet used-to-be
That was once you and me
Keeps coming back like an old melody
The perfume of roses in may
Returns to my room in december
From out of the past where forgotten things belong

[maizie:]
You can have him
I don't want him
He's not worth fighting for
Besides there's plenty more where he came from
I don't want him
You can have him
I'm giving him the sack
And he can go right back where he came from
I could never make him happy
He'd be better off with you
I'm afraid I never loved him
All I ever wanted to do was
Run my fingers thru his curly locks
Mend his underwear and darn his socks
Fetch his slippers and remove his shoes
Wipe his glasses when he read the news
Rub his forehead with a gentle touch
Mornings after when he's had too much
Kiss him gently when he cuddled near
Give him babies one for ev'ry year, so you see
I don't want him, you can have him
You can have him, I don't want him
For he's not the man for me
[monique:]
You can have him
I don't want him
He's not worth fighting for
Besides there's plenty more where he came from
I don't want him
You can have him
He isn't my concern
And he can just return where he came from
I would look a trifle silly
Taking him away from you
That was never my intention
All I ever wanted to do was
Close the window while he soundly slept
Raid the icebox where the food is kept
Cook a breakfast that would please him most
Eggs and coffee and some buttered toast
Wake him gently with a breakfast tray
After breakfast clear the things away
Bring the papers and when they've been read
Spend the balance of the day in bed, so you see
I don't want him, you can have him
You can have him, I don't want him

My thoughts go back to a heavenly dance
A moment of bliss we spent
Our hearts were filled with a song of romance
As into the night we went
And sang to our hearts' content
The song is ended
But the melody lingers on
You and the song are gone
But the melody lingers on
The night was splendid
And the melody seemed to say
"summer will pass away
Take your happiness while you may"
There 'neath the light of the moon
We sang a love song that ended too soon
The moon descended
And I found with the break of dawn
You and the song had gone

Charted by frank at # 11 in 1946
Charted by eddy howard at # 23 in 1947
The girl that I marry will have to be
As soft and as pink as a nursery
The girl I call my own
Will wear satins and laces and smell of cologne
Her nails will be polished and, in her hair,
She'll wear a gardenia and I'll be there
`stead of flittin', I'll be sittin'
Next to her and she'll purr like a kitten
A doll I can carry, the girl that I marry must be

Her nails will be polished and, in her hair,
She'll wear a gardenia and I'll be there
`stead of flittin', I'll be sittin'
Next to her and she'll purr like a kitten

Supper time
I should set the table
'cause it's supper time
Somehow I'm not able
'cause that man o'mine
Ain't comin' home no more
Supper time
Kids will soon be yellin'
For their supper time
How'll I keep from tellin'
Them that man o'mine
Ain't comin' home no more?
How'll I keep explainin' when they ask me where he's gone?
How'll I keep from cryin' when I bring their supper on?
How can I remind them to pray at their humble board?
How can I be thankful when they start to thank the lord
Lord!
Supper time
I should set the table
'cause it's supper time
Somehow I'm not able
'cause that man o'mine

Here he comes lookin' for his baby
It's for sure, sure and not for maybe
Don't ask when will the lucky day be
Here he comes and let him tell you himself:
If I seem to scintillate
It's because I've got a date
A date with a package of
The good things that come with love
You don't have to ask me
I won't waste your time
But if you should ask me
Why I feel sublime
Steppin' out with my baby
Can't go wrong 'cause I'm in right
It's for sure, not for maybe
That I'm all dressed up tonight
Steppin' out with my honey
Can't be bad to feel so good
Never felt quite so sunny
And I keep on knockin' wood
There'll be smooth sailin' 'cause I'm trimmin' my sails
With a bright shine on my shoes and on my nails
[alternate line: in my top hat and my white tie and my tails]
Steppin' out with my baby
Can't go wrong 'cause I'm in right
Ask me when will the day be

FRANK BUTLER:
I've had my way with so many girls
An' was lots of fun.
My scheme was to know many girls
To keep me safe from one
I find it can be done.
My defenses are down
She's broken my resistance
And I don't know where I am
I went into the fight like a lion
But I came out like a lamb.
My defenses are down
She's got me where she wants me
And I can't escape no how
I could speak to my heart when it wakened
But my heart won't listen now.
Like a toothless, clawless tiger,
Like an organ-grinder's bear,
Like a knight without his armor,
Like Samson without his hair.
My defenses are down
I might as well surrender
For the battle can't be won.
But I must confess that I like it,
So there's nothing to be done.
Yes, I must confess that I like it
Being miserable's gonna be fun
MALE CHORUS:
His defenses are down
She's broken my resistance
And he's in an awful jam.
FRANK BUTLER:
I went into the fight like a lion
MALE CHORUS:
But you came out like a lamb.
FRANK BUTLER:
My defenses are down
MALE CHORUS:
She's got you where she wants you
And you can't escape no how
FRANK BUTLER:
I could speak to my heart when it wakened
MALE CHORUS:
But my heart won't listen now.
FRANK BUTLER:
Like a toothless, clawless tiger,
Like an organ-grinder's bear,
MALE CHORUS:
Like a knight without his armor,
FRANK BUTLER:
Like Samson without his hair.
My defenses are down
FRANK BUTLER and MALE CHORUS:
I might as well surrender
For the battle can't be won.
FRANK BUTLER:
But I must confess that I like it,
So there's nothing to be done.
FRANK BUTLER and MALE CHORUS:
Yes, I must confess that I like it

Manhattan, Manhattan, Manhattan, Manhattan
Manhattan madness
You've got me at last
I'm like a fly upon a steeple
Watching seven million people
Do a rhythm
That draws me with 'em
Manhattan, Manhattan, Manhattan, Manhattan
Manhattan madness
You're going too fast
I'm like a baby on a rocker
Watching Father Knickerbocker
Being busy
I'm getting dizzy
When shadows creep, in my bed I tumble
But never sleep for I hear the rumble
In the street, the tramping of feet
That haunt me the whole night long
And through the day I'm watching the drama
That people play in your panorama
And I hear in tones very clear
The sound of your restless song
Subways below and trains above racing
Packed with humanity
Taxis and trucks and trolley cars chasing
Busy as they can be
Steaming machines and riveters grating
Motors instead of men
Buildings go up with wrecking crews waiting
To tear them down again
Newsies that shout sensational headlines
Peddlers with things to sell
Noisy cafes and whispering breadlines
Children that scream and yell
Whistles and bells and siren horns blowing
Pistols that crack and roar
Traffic that stops and goes without knowing
What's all the shooting for
Manhattan, Manhattan, Manhattan, Manhattan
Manhattan madness
You've got me at last
I'm like a fly upon a steeple
Watching seven million people
Do a rhythm
That draws me with 'em

Let's take an old fashioned walk, I'm just bursting with talk.
What a tale could be told if we went for an old fashioned walk.
Let's take a stroll through the park, down a lane where it's dark
And a heart that's controlled, may relax on an old fashioned walk.
I know for a couple who seem to be miles apart,
There's nothing like walking and having a "heart to heart."
I know a girl who declined, couldn't make up her mind.

[Verse:]
Why worry when skies are gray
Why should we complain
Let's laugh at the cloudy day
Let's sing in the rain
Songwriters say the storm quickly passes
That's their philosophy
They see the world through rose-colored glasses
Why shouldn't we?
[Refrain:]
Just around the corner
There's a rainbow in the sky
So let's have another cup o' coffee
And let's have another piece o' pie!
Trouble's just a bubble
And the clouds will soon roll by
So let's have another cup o' coffee
And let's have another piece o' pie
Let a smile be your umbrella
For it's just an April show'r
Even John D. Rockefeller
Is looking for the silver lining
Mister Herbert Hoover
Says that now's the time to buy
So let's have another cup o' coffee
And let's have another piece o' pie!
[Alternate Lines:]
Things that really matter

The weather is fright'ning
The thunder and lightning
Seem to be having their way
But as far as I'm concerned, it's a lovely day
The turn in the weather
Will keep us together
So I can honestly say
That as far as I'm concerned, it's a lovely day
And everything's o.k.
Isn't this a lovely day
To be caught in the rain?
You were going on your way
Now you've got to remain
Just as you were going, leaving me all at sea
The clouds broke, they broke and oh!
What a break for me
I can see the sun up high
Tho' we're caught in the storm
I can see where you and i
Could be cozy and warm
Let the rain pitter patter
But it really doesn't matter
If the skies are gray

I've been a roaming romeo
My juliets have been many
But now my roaming days have gone
Too many irons in the fire
Is worse than not having any
I've had my share and from now on:
I'm putting all my eggs in one basket
I'm betting ev'rything I've got on you
I'm giving all my love to one baby
Heaven help me if my baby don't come through
I've got a great big amount
Saved up in my love account
Honey
And I've decided
Love divided
In two
Won't do
I'm putting all my eggs in one basket
I'm betting everything I've got on you
I've been a roaming juliet
My romeos have been many
But now my roaming days have gone
Too many irons in the fire
Is worse than not having any
I've had my share and from now on:
I'm putting all my eggs in one basket
I'm betting ev'rything I've got on you
I'm giving all my love to one baby
Heaven help me if my baby don't come through
I've tried to love more than one
Finding it just can't be done
Honey
There's one I lie to
When I try to
Be true
To two
I'm putting all my eggs in one basket

Like the Seminole, Navajo, Kickapoo
Like those Indians
I'm an Indian too
A Sioux
A Sioux
Just like Battle Axe, Hatchet Face, Eagle Nose
Like those Indians
I'm an Indian too
A Sioux
A Sioux
Some Indian summer's day
Without a sound
I may hide away
With Big Chief Hole-in-the-Ground
And I'll have totem poles, tomahawks, pipes of peace
Which will go to prove
I'm an Indian too
A Sioux
A Sioux
With my chief in his teepee
We'll raise an Indian family
And I'll be busy night and day
Looking like a flour sack
With two papooses on my back
And three papooses on the way
Like the Chippewa, Iroquois, Omaha
Like those Indians
I'm an Indian too
A Sioux
A Sioux
Just like Rising Moon, Falling Pants, Running Nose
Like those Indians
I'm an Indian too
A Sioux
A Sioux
Some Indian summer's day
Without a care
I may run away
With Big Chief Son-of-a-Bear
And I'll wear moccasins, wampum beads, feather hats
Which will go to prove
I'm an Indian too
A Sioux

How can I tell you what is in my heart?
How can I measure each and every part?
How can I tell you how much I love you?
How can I measure just how much I do?
How much do I love you?
I'll tell you no lie
How deep is the ocean?
How high is the sky?
How many times a day do I think of you?
How many roses are sprinkled with dew?
How far would I travel
To be where you are?
How far is the journey
From here to a star?
And if I ever lost you
How much would I cry?
How deep is the ocean?

Strange
How a dreary world can suddenly change
To a world as bright as the evening star
Queer
What a difference when your vision is clear
And you see things as they really are
I used to be color-blind
But I met you and now I find
There's green in the grass
There's gold in the moon
There's blue in the skies
That semi-circle that was always hanging about
Is not a storm cloud, it's a rainbow
And you brought the colors out
Believe me it's really true
Till I met you I never knew
A setting sun could paint such beautiful skies
I never knew there were such lovely colors
And the big surprise
Is the red in your cheeks
The gold in your hair

[1st verse:]
As a child I went wild when a band played
How I ran to the man when his hand swayed
Clarinets were my pets, and a slide trombone I thought was simply
Divine
But today when they play I could hiss them
Ev'ry bar is a jar to my system
But there's one musical instrument that I call mine
[chorus:]
I love a piano, I love a piano
I love to hear somebody play
Upon a piano, a grand piano
It simply carries me away
I know a fine way to treat a steinway
I love to run my fingers o'er the keys, the ivories
And with the pedal I love to meddle
When padarewski comes this way
I'm so delighted if I'm invited
To hear that long haired genius play
So you can keep your fiddle and your bow
Give me a p-i-a-n-o, oh, oh
I love to stop right beside an upright
Or a high toned baby grand
[2nd verse:]
When a green tetrazine starts to warble
I grow cold as an old piece of marble
I allude to the crude little party singer who don't know when to pause
At her best I detest the soprano
But I run to the one at the piano

Taking stock of what I have and what I haven't
What do I find?
The things I got will keep me satisfied
Checking up on what I have and what I haven't
What do I find?
A healthy balance on the credit side
Got no diamond
Got no pearl
Still I think I'm a lucky girl
I got the sun in the morning and the moon at night
I got the sun in the morning and the moon at night
Got no mansion
Got no yacht
Still I'm happy with what I got
I got the sun in the morning and the moon at night
I got the sun in the morning and the moon at night
Sunshine
Gives me a lovely day
Moonlight
Gives me the Milky Way
Got no checkbooks
Got no banks
Still I'd like to express my thanks
I got the sun in the morning and the moon at night
I got the sun in the morning and the moon at night
And with the sun in the morning
And the moon in the evening
I'm all right
Got no mansion
Got no yacht
Still I'm happy with what I got
I got the sun in the morning and the moon at night
I got the sun in the morning and the moon at night
Got no silver
Got no gold
What I got can't be bought or sold
I got the sun in the morning and the moon at night
I got the sun in the morning and the moon at night
Sunshine
Gives me a lovely day
Moonlight
Gives me the Milky Way
Got no checkbooks
Got no banks
Still I'd like to express my thanks
I got the sun in the morning and the moon at night
And with the sun in the morning
And the moon in the evening
I'm all right
Sunshine
Gives me a lovely day
Moonlight
Gives me the Milky Way
Got no heirlooms
For my kin
Made no will but when I cash in
I leave the sun in the morning and the moon at night
And with the sun in the morning

Don't ask me just how it happened,
I wish I knew.
I can't believe that it's happened,
And still it's true.
I got lost in his arms, and I had to stay.
It was dark in his arms, and I lost my way.
From the dark came a voice, and it seemed to say,
"there you go, there you go."
How I felt, as I fell, I just can't recall.
But his arms held me fast and it broke the fall.
And I said to my heart as it foolishly
Kepte jumping all around.
I got lost

Who's got the stuff that made the Wild West wild?
Who pleases ev'ry woman, man and child?
Who does his best to give the customers a thrill?
-Who?
Colonel Buff'lo Bill
Who's got the show that gets the most applause?
Five hundred Indians and fifty squaws
Ten feature acts and there's the special feature still
-Who?
Colonel Buff'lo Bill
Did you ever see a cowboy rope a steer?
-No, we haven't
Or an Indian with feathers throw a spear?
-No, we haven't
Or a marksman shoot an earring from an ear?
-No, we haven't
Did you ever see a hold up?
-No, sir
Then gather closer
And let me give you some of the atmosphere
The hour is midnight and all is still
We see the stagecoach climbing up a hill
Going along a mountain trail carrying passengers and mail
Never suspecting danger as they roll along
The watchful driver is in his seat
His trusty rifle lying at his feet
Some of the passengers inside seem to be dozing as they ride
Never suspecting there is something really wrong
Suddenly there's a shout
-What is it all about?
What is it all about you ask? It's Indians
-Indians!
Indians
-Indians!
Very notable, cut your throat-able Indians
-Indians!
Just when they've taken ev'ryone by force
Who makes an entrance on a big white horse?
Who starts a' shootin' till there's no one left to kill
-Gen'ral Grant?
No! Colonel Buff'lo Bill!
-Certainly this is quite a thrill, better than all the vaudeville

Heaven, I'm in heaven
And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak
And I seem to find the happiness I seek
When we're out together dancing cheek to cheek
Heaven, I'm in heaven
And the cares that hung around me through the week
Seem to vanish like a gambler's lucky streak
When we're out together dancing (swinging) cheek to cheek
Oh I love to climb a mountain
And reach the highest peak
But it doesn't thrill (boot) me half as much
As dancing cheek to cheek
Oh I love to go out fishing
In a river or a creek
But I don't enjoy it half as much
As dancing cheek to cheek
(come on and) dance with me
I want my arm(s) about you
That (those) charm(s) about you
Will carry me through...
(right up) to heaven, I'm in heaven
And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak
And I seem to find the happiness I seek
When we're out together dancing, out together dancing (swinging)
Out together dancing cheek to cheek

Must you dance every dance with the same fortunate man?
You have danced with him since the music began.
Won't you change partners and dance with me?
Must you dance quite so close with your lips touching his face?
Can't you see
I'm longing to be in his place?
Won't you change partners and dance with me?
Ask him to sit this one out.
While you're alone,
I'll tell the waiter to tell
Him he's wanted on the telephone.
You've been locked in his arms ever since heaven-knows-when.
Won't you change partners and then,

Be careful, it's my heart
It's not my watch you're holding, it's my heart
It's not the note that I sent you that you quickly burned
It's not the book I lent you that you'll never return
Remember, it's my heart
The heart with which so willingly I part
It's yours to take, to keep or break
But please, before you start

ANNIE: Anything you can do I can do better
......I can do anything better than you
FRANK: No, you can't
ANNIE: Yes, I can
FRANK: No, you can't
ANNIE: Yes, I can
FRANK: No, you can't
ANNIE: Yes, I can, yes, I can
FRANK: Anything you can be I can be greater
......Sooner or later I'm greater than you
ANNIE: No, you're not
FRANK: Yes, I am
ANNIE: No, you're not
FRANK: Yes, I am
ANNIE: No, you're not
FRANK: Yes, I am, yes I am
FRANK: I can shoot a partridge with a single cartridge
ANNIE: I can get a sparrow with a bow and arrow
FRANK: I can live on bread and cheese
ANNIE: And only on that?
FRANK: Yes
ANNIE: So can a rat
FRANK: Any note you can reach I can go higher
ANNIE: I can sing anything higher than you
FRANK: No, you can't
ANNIE: Yes, I can
FRANK: No, you can't
ANNIE: Yes, I can
FRANK: No, you can't
ANNIE: Yes, I can
FRANK: No, you can't
ANNIE: Yes, I can
FRANK: No, you can't
ANNIE: Yes, I can
ANNIE: Anything you can buy I can buy cheaper
......I can buy anything cheaper than you
FRANK: Fifty cents
ANNIE: Forty cents
FRANK: Thirty cents
ANNIE: Twenty cents
FRANK: No, you can't
ANNIE: Yes, I can, yes, I can
FRANK: Anything you can say I can say softer
ANNIE: I can say anything softer than you
FRANK: No, you can't
ANNIE: Yes, I can
FRANK: No, you can't
ANNIE: Yes, I can
FRANK: No, you can't
ANNIE: Yes, I can, yes, I can
FRANK: I can drink my liquor faster than a flicker
ANNIE: I can do it quicker and get even sicker
FRANK: I can open any safe
ANNIE: Without being caught?
FRANK: Sure
ANNIE: That's what I thought (you crook)
FRANK: Any note you can hold I can hold longer
ANNIE: I can hold any note longer than you
FRANK: No, you can't
ANNIE: Yes, I can
FRANK: No, you can't
ANNIE: Yes, I can
FRANK: No, you can't
ANNIE: Yes, I can, yes, I can
FRANK: No, you can't - yes, you can
ANNIE: Anything you can wear I can wear better
......In what you wear I'd look better than you
FRANK: In my coat
ANNIE: In your vest
FRANK: In my shoes
ANNIE: In your hat
FRANK: No, you can't
ANNIE: Yes, I can, yes, I can
FRANK: Anything you can say I can say faster
ANNIE: I can say anything faster than you
FRANK: Noyoucan't
ANNIE: YesIcan
FRANK: Noyoucan't
ANNIE: YesIcan
FRANK: Noyoucan't
ANNIE: YesIcan
FRANK: Noyoucan't
ANNIE: YesIcan
FRANK: I can jump a hurdle
ANNIE: I can wear a girdle
FRANK: I can knit a sweater
ANNIE: I can fill it better
FRANK: I can do most anything
ANNIE: Can you bake a pie?
FRANK: No
ANNIE: Neither can I
FRANK: Anything you can sing I can sing sweeter
ANNIE: I can sing anything sweeter than you
FRANK: No, you can't
ANNIE: Yes, I can
FRANK: No, you can't
ANNIE: Oh, yes, I can
FRANK: No, you can't
ANNIE: Yes, I can
FRANK: No, you can't
ANNIE: Yes, I can
FRANK: No, you can't, can't, can't
ANNIE: Yes, I can, can, can, can
FRANK: No, you can't

Say it isn't so,
Say it isn't so,
Everyone is saying
You don't love me,
Say it isn't so.
Everywhere I go,
Everyone I know,
Whispers that you're growing tired of me,
Say it isn't so.
People say that you,
Found somebody new,
And it won't be long
Before you leave me,
Say it isn't true,
Say that everything is still okay,
That's all I want to know,
And what they're saying,

Where the dreamy volga flows
There's a lonely russian rose
Gazing tenderly
Down upon her knee
Where a baby's brown eyes glisten
Listen
Ev'ry night you'll hear her croon
A russian lullaby
Just a little plaintive tune
When baby starts to cry
Rock-a-bye my baby
Somewhere there may be
A land that's free for you and me

The moon and you appear to be
So near and yet so far from me
And here am I on a night in june
Reaching for the moon and you,
I wonder if we'll ever meet
My song of love is incomplete
I'm just the words, looking for the tune
Reaching for the moon and you.

I'm just the words, looking for the tune

Have you seen the well-to-do
Up and down park avenue
On that famous thoroughfare
With their noses in the air
High hats and narrow collars
White spats and lots of dollars
Spending every dime
For a wonderful time
Now, if you're blue
And you don't know where to go to
Why don't you go where fashion sits
Puttin' on the ritz
Different types who wear a daycoat
Pants with stripes and cutaway coat
Perfect fits
Puttin' on the ritz
Dressed up like a million dollar trooper
Trying hard to look like gary cooper
Super-duper
Come, let's mix where rockefellers
Walk with sticks or "umberellas"
In their mitts
Puttin' on the ritz
------ short instrumental break ------
Tips his hat just like an english chappie
To a lady with a wealthy pappy
Very snappy
You'll declare it's simply topping
To be there and hear them swapping
Smart tidbits

What makes you think I'm crazy about you?
What makes you think I can't do without you?
I've looked you over carefully
And if I never see you again, it's soon enough for me
I hate the ground you walk upon
I hate the phone you talk upon
I hate 'most ev'rything that you do
I hate that funny little mouth you drink with
That peanut on your shoulders that you think with
I hate the rouge upon your lips
The polish on your finger tips
I hate your eyes of heavenly blue
I hate the way you sigh, honest I do
Outside of that, I love you
[Female version:]
I hate the way you comb your hair
I hate the flashy clothes you wear
I hate the patent shine on your shoe
I hate the closet that you keep your clothes in
I hate the handkerchief you blow your nose in
I hate the smell of your cigar
The way you lean against a bar
I hate the jokes you tell that are blue
I hate that fancy tie, honest I do

Oh, my mother was frightened by a shotgun, they say
Thats why I'm such a wonderful shot.
I'd be out in the cactus and I'd practice all day,
And now tell me what have I got?
I'm quick on the trigger with targets not much bigger than a pinpoint
I'm number one, but my score with a feller
Is lower than a celler, oh you can't get a man with a gun.
When I'm with a pistol, I sparkle like a crystal
yes, I shine like the morning sun,
but I lose all my luster, when with a bronco buster,
oh you can't get a man with a gun.
With a gu-un, with a gu-un, oh you can't get a man with a gun
If I went to battle with someone's herd of cattle
You'd have steak when the job was done.
But, if I shot the herder, they'd holler bloody murder
and you can't shoot a male in the tail like a quail,
Oh you can't get a man with a gun.
I'm cool, brave, and daring to see a lion glaring
when I'm out with my Remington.
But a look from a mister will raise a fever blister
oh you can't get a man with a gun
The gals with umbrellas are always out with fellers
in the rain or the blazin sun
But a man never trifles with gals who carry rifles
oh you can't get a man with a gun.
With a gu-un, with a gu-un, oh you can't get a man with a gun.
A man's love is mighty, he'll even buy a nightie
for a gal who he thinks is fun.
But they don't buy pajamas for pistol packin mamas
and you can't get a hug from a mug, with a slug

Frank:
We’ll have an old fashioned wedding
Blessed in the good old fashioned way
I’ll vow to love you forever
You’ll vow to love and honour and obey
Somewhere in some little chapel
Someday when orange blossoms bloom
We’ll have an old fashioned wedding
An simple wedding for an
Old-fashioned bride and groom
Annie:
I want a wedding in a big church
With bridesmaids and flower girls
A lot of ushers in tailcoats,
Reporters, and photographers
A ceremony with a bishop
who will tie the not and say
Do you agree to love and honour,
Love and honour yes, but not obey
I want a wedding that’s surrounded
By diamonds and platinum
A big reception at the Whaldorf
With Champaign and caviar
I want a wedding like the Vanderbilt’s had
Everything big not small
If I can’t have that kind of a wedding
I don’t want to be married at all.

Why don't you just give in?
Just like a Siamese twin
I mean to stick to you
Until you do
I won't take it on the chin
You'll never leave me flat
I'm not a "last year's hat"
That you can cast aside
I've got my pride
And I won't stand for that
You can't brush me off
As you would a speck of powder, you may try
But you can't brush me off
You can't shout me down
You can yell but I'll yell louder, you can try
But you can't brush me off
You can say you're out but I'll keep phoning
You can tell me goodbye
You can tell me but I
Won't go
You can't leave me cold
As you would a plate of chowder, you may try
But you can't brush me off
What is this all about?
You've got me wrong, no doubt
I give you all my time
Believe me, I'm
Not looking for some way out
I want you for my wife
Sharing my care and strife
And that may not be fun
For when it's done
You're stuck with me for life
You can't brush me off
As you would a fresh mosquito, you may try
But you can't brush me off
You can't rub me out
Like a spot on my tuxedo, you may try
But you can't brush me off
You can cut me dead but I won't mind it
You may injure my pride
Still I'll never decide
To go
You can't drop me fast
As you would a live torpedo, you may try
But you can't brush me off
You can't brush me off
Like a colored pullman porter, you may try
But you can't brush me off
You can't lock me out
Like a frightened farmer's daughter, you may try
But you can't brush me off
You can drop a hint but I won't take it
You can tell me bad news
I intend to refuse
To go
You can't give me back
As you would a leaded quarter, you may try

I'm dreaming of a white christmas,
Just like the ones I used to know
Where the treetops glisten and children listen
To hear sleigh bells in the snow
I'm dreaming of a white christmas,
Just like the ones I used to know
Where the treetops glisten and children listen
To hear sleigh bells in the snow
I'm dreaming of a white christmas,
With every christmas card I write
May your days be merry and bright,
And may all your christmases be white
I'm dreaming of a white christmas,
Just like the ones I used to know
May your days be merry and bright,
And may all your christmases be white
I'm dreaming of a white christmas,
With every christmas card I write
May your days be merry and bright,
And may all your christmases be white
May your days be merry and bright,
And may all your christmases be white
And may all your christmases be white (all your christmases be white)
And may all your christmases be white (all your christmases be white)
And may all your christmases be
(all your christmases be white)

sheet music version:]
A bunch of frightened rookies were list'ning filled with awe
They listened while a sergeant was laying down the law
They stood there at attention, their faces turning red
The sergeant looked them over and this is what he said
This is the Army, Mister Jones!
No private rooms or telephones
You had your breakfast in bed before
But you won't have it there any more
This is the Army, Mister Green!
We like the barracks nice and clean
You had a housemaid to clean your floor
But she won't help you out any more
Do what the buglers command
They're in the Army and not in a band
This is the Army, Mister Brown!
You and your baby went to town
She had you worried but this is war

There's no business like show business like no business I know
Everything about it is appealing, everything that traffic will allow
Nowhere could you get that happy feeling when you are stealing that extra bow
There's no people like show people, they smile when they are low
Even with a turkey that you know will fold, you may be stranded out in the cold
Still you wouldn't change it for a sack of gold, let's go on with the show
The butcher, the baker, the grocer, the clerk
Are secretly unhappy men because
The butcher, the baker, the grocer, the clerk
Get paid for what they do but no applause.
They'd gladly bid their dreary jobs goodbye for anything theatrical and why?
There's no business like show business and I tell you it's so
Traveling through the country is so thrilling, standing out in front on opening nights
Smiling as you watch the theater filling, and there's your billing out there in lights
There's no people like show people, they smile when they are low
Angels come from everywhere with lots of jack, and when you lose it, there's no attack
Where could you get money that you don't give back? let's go on with the show
(there's no business like show business like no business I know)
You get word before the show has started that your favorite uncle died at dawn
Top of that, your pa and ma have parted, you're broken-hearted, but you go on
(there's no people like show people, they smile when they are low)
Yesterday they told you you would not go far, that night you open and there you are

I was born on a thousand acres of Oklahoma land
Nothing grew on the thousand acres for it was gravel and sand
One day father started digging in a field
Hoping to find some soil
He dug and he dug and what do you think?
Oil, oil, oil
The money rolled in and I rolled out with a fortune piled so high
Washington was my destination
And now who am I?
I'm the chosen party giver
For the White House clientele
And they know that I deliver
What it takes to make 'em jell
And in Washington I'm known by one and all
As the hostess with the mostes' on the ball
They could go to Elsa Maxwell
When they had an axe to grind
They could always grind their axe well
At the parties she designed
Now the hatchet grinders all prefer to call
On the hostess with the mostes' on the ball
I've a great big bar and good caviar
Yes, the best that can be found
And a large amount in my bank account
When election time comes 'round
If you're feeling presidential
You can make it, yes, indeed
There are just three things essential
Let me tell you all you need
Is an ounce of wisdom and a pound of gall
And the hostess with the mostes' on the ball
An Ambassador has just reached the shore
He's a man of many loves
An important gent from the Orient
To be handled with kid gloves
He can come and let his hair down
Have the best time of his life
Even bring his new affair down
Introduce her as his wife
But she mustn't leave her panties in the hall
For the hostess who's the hostess with the mostes' on the ball
[Encore:]
I've been highly complimented
And I thank you what is more
You'll be damned well represented
By your new ambassador
For my one ambition is to make them fall
For the hostess with the mostes' on the ball
In the handbag that I'll carry
There's a precious little note
To their highnesses from Harry
Introducing me he wrote:
"I'll appreciate a favor large or small
For the hostess with the mostes' on the ball"
There'll be no mistakes, I've got what it takes
To make friends across the sea
I'll make being smart an important part
Of my foreign policy
I'll cement our good relations
When I give my first affair
There'll be special invitations
To the Duke and Duchess there
Who's already written asking them to call
Not the priestess with the leastes'

[1st verse:]
Once I got stuck on a sweet little German
And oh what a German was she
The best that was walking, well what's the use talking
Was just made to order for me
So lovely, and witty, more yet she was pretty
You don't know until you have tried
She had such a figure, it couldn't be bigger
And there was some more yet beside
[chorus:]
Oh how that German could love
With a feeling that came from the heart
She called me her honey, her angel, her money
She pushed ev'ry word out so smart
She spoke like a speaker, and oh what a speech
Like no other speaker could speak
Ach my what a German when she kissed her Herman
It stayed on my cheek for a week
[2nd verse:]
This girl could squeeze, and it never would hurt
For that lady knew just how to squeeze
Her loving was killing, more yet she was willing
You never would have to say please
I just couldn't stop her, for dinner and supper
Some kisses and hugs was the food
When she wasn't nice it was more better twice
When she's bad she was better than good
[2nd chorus]
Oh how that German could love
With a sweetness that's sweeter than sweet
Just say what you please, you would hug and you'd squeeze
Just the shoes that she wore on her feet
Her smile was like money that somebody owed you
That somebody wanted to give
When you felt like dying and she started sighing
Ach my it was worthwhile to live
[3rd verse:]
Sometimes we'd love for a week at a time
And it only would seem like a day
How well I remember, one night in December
I felt like the middle of May
I'll bet all I'm worth that when she came on earth
All the angels went out on parade
No other one turned up, I think that they burned up
The pattern from which she was made
[3rd chorus:]
Oh how that German could love
With a love like you see in a play
When she said, "My dear," it would ring in my ear
For a year, and a week and a day
Her no was like yes, and her yes was like no
It was something like yes, it was, well
When we got together ach donner und vetter

I've been a soldier quite a while
And I would like to state
The life is simply wonderful
The Army food is great
I sleep with ninety-seven others in a wooden hut
I love them all
They all love me
It's very lovely but
Oh!How I hate to get up in the morning
Oh!How I'd love to remain in bed
For the hardest blow of all
Is to hear the bugler call
Ya gotta get up
Ya gotta get up
Ya gotta get up this morning
Someday I'm going to murder the bugler
Someday they're going to find him dead
I'll amputate his reveille
And step upon it heavily
And spend the rest of my life in bed
[alternate lines in 2nd chorus:]
And then I'll get that other pup

Behind the hill
There's a busy little still
Where your pappy's workin' in the moonlight
Your lovin' pa
Isn't quite within the law
So he's hidin' there behind the hill
Bye bye, baby
Stop your yawnin'
Don't cry, baby
Day will be dawnin'
And when it does
From the mountain where he was
He'll be comin' with a jug of moonshine
So count your sheep
Mama's singin' you to sleep
With a moonshine lullaby
Dream of pappy
Very happy
With his jug of mountain rye
So count your sheep
Mama's singin' you to sleep

Maybe it's because the kiss you gave me, touched my heart and went right through.
I can't tell you why, I only know that I fell helplessly in love with you.
How I fell in love with you!
I could say you're grand and therefore I care for you so.
But there is a why and wherefore and I'd like to know.
Maybe it's because the star I wished on, made a certain wish come true.
Or it just should be that you were meant for me, and maybe I was meant for you.
Maybe it's because the song we danced to, told a story old and new.

Louisiana purchase, I'll tell you what it means
It means I'd like to sell you New Orleans
Come on, come on
And you all can go to town way down in New Orleans
Louisiana salesman with nothing in his jeans
That's why I'd like to sell you New Orleans
Come on, come on
And do all the things there are to do in New Orleans
Where does that heat come from?
That rhythmic beat come from?
And that red meat come from?
New Orleans
Louisiana purchase, I told you what it means
So won't you let me sell you New Orleans?
Come on, come on

As you listen to the band don't you get a bubble?
As you listen to them play don't you get a glow?
If you step out on the floor
You'll forget your trouble
If you go into your dance
You'll forget your woe
Come
Get together
Let the dance floor feel your leather
Step as lightly as a feather
Let yourself go
Come
Hit the timber
Loosen up and start to limber
Can't you hear that hot marimba?
Let yourself go
Let yourself go
Relax
And let yourself go
Relax
You've got yourself tied up in a knot
The night is cold but the music's hot
Come
Cuddle closer
Don't you dare to answer "no, sir"
Butcher, banker, clerk and grocer

It's a lovely day tomorrow,
Tomorrow is a lovely day,
Come and feast your tear-dimmed eyes on tomorrow's clear blue skies,
If today your heart is weary,
If every little thing looks gray,
Just forget your troubles and learn to say,

It's a lovely day today
So whatever you've got to do
You've got a lovely day to do it in, that's true
And I hope whatever you've got to do
Is something that can be done by two
For I'd really like to stay
It's a lovely day today
And whatever you've got to do
I'd be so happy to be doing it with you
But if you've got something that must be done
And it can only be done by one
There is nothing more to say
Except it's a lovely day for saying
It's a lovely day
It's a lovely day today
And whatever I've got to do
I've got a lovely day to do it in, that's true
But perhaps whatever I've got to do
Is something that can be done by two
If it is then you could stay
It's a lovely day today
But you're probably busy too
So I suppose there's nothing we can do
For if you've got something that must be done
And it can only be done by one
There is nothing more to say
Except it's a lovely day for saying
It's a lovely day
It's a lovely day today
If you've something that must get done
Now don't forget two heads are better than just one
And besides I'm certain if you knew me
You'd find I'm very good company
Won't you kindly let me stay?
It's a lovely day today
And whatever we've got to do
We've got a lovely day to do it in, that's true
And I know whatever we've got to do
Is something that can be done by two
I'll say it's a lovely day for saying

[Verse:]
Brothers
And sisters
Listen
You non-believers, listen
You better start to believe
All you doubters
Be "hallelujah shouters"
Or else you're going to grieve
There's no time to wait
You may be too late
So, listen
You don't know what you're missin'
Until you start to believe
[Refrain:]
If you believe that there's a heaven
You'll get to heaven
If you believe
If you believe that there are angels
You'll see the angels
If you believe
I'm not making promises
To the doubting Thomases
But if you believe the Lord can help you
The Lord will help you
If you believe
[Patter:]
-We do, we do, we do
Do you believe?
-We do, we do, we do
Do you believe?
-We do, we do, we do
Well, Jonah went out one night in a gale
Do you believe that?
-We do, we do, we do
Soon, he was swallowed up by a whale
Do you believe that?
-We do, we do, we do
Daniel lay down with lions that roared
Noah was on his ark when it poured
Moses looked up and he spoke to the Lord
Do you believe that?
Do you believe that? We do

The snow is snowing and the wind is blowing
But I can weather the storm!
What do I care how much it may storm?
For I've got my love to keep me warm
I can't remember a worse december
Just watch those icicles form!
Oh, what do I care if icicles form?
Oh, I've got my love to keep me warm
Off with my overcoat, off with my glove
I need no overcoat, I'm burning with love!
My heart's on fire, the flame grows higher
So I will weather the storm!
What do I care how much it may storm?
Oh, I've got my love to keep me warm
The snow is snowing, the wind is blowing
But I can weather the storm!
What do I care how much it may storm?
Oh, I've got my love to keep me warm
I can't remember a worse december
Just watch those icicles form!
What do I care if icicles form?
Oh-ho-ho, I've got my love to keep me warm
Off with my overcoat, off with my glove
I need no overcoat, I'm burning with love!
My heart's on fire, the flame grows higher
So I will weather the storm!
What do I care how much it may storm?

FRANK:]
I'm honored, I'm flattered, this greeting really mattered
This welcome is grand but I'm really concerned
I like your attention, but this I have to mention
You're playing with fire and you're apt to get burned
There's a girl in Tennessee
Who's sorry she met up with me
Can't go back to Tennessee
I'm a bad, bad man
There's a girl in Omaha
But I ran faster than her pa
Can't go back to Omaha
I'm a bad, bad man
There's a girl in Wyoming and they're combing Wyoming
To find the man in white who was out with her that night
There's a girl in Arkansas
The sheriff is her brother-in-law
Can't go back to Arkansas
I'm a bad, bad man
[GIRLS:]
You're making too much fuss
For we don't give a tinker's cuss
We've been out, yes, each of us
With a bad, bad man
We've been chasing up and down
That other show has just left town
And the one who played the clown
Was a bad, bad man
You may love us and leave us, but the parting won't grieve us
We'll turn the other cheek when the minstrels come next week
When the show folks come to call
A girl may slip but she won't fall
We'll give some but won't give all
To a bad, bad man
[FRANK:]
For years I have yearned to play towns I could return to
And "this may be it" from the way that you speak
I'm glad you're not frightened, the atmosphere has brightened
And now let's make plans for a wonderful week
Monday when my show is done
I'll teach you how to shoot a gun
You may find it lots of fun
With a bad, bad man
Tuesday there's no matinee
But I'll be in my tent all day
You can come around and play
With a bad, bad man
Send your mothers on Wednesday because Wednesday's old hens' day
But Thursday is sublime, I'll have lots of open time
Friday night will be the test
If Saturday you're still my guest
Sunday you can come and rest

TOMMY:]
What is mine, dear, will be yours
When the sun shines and when it pours
Summer, Winter, Spring and Fall
Fifty-fifty in ev'rything
Haven't got much, even that much to my name
Fortune's door shut, can't get in, but just the same
My ear for music, my feet for dancing, my lips for kissing
I'll share it all with you
My sense of humor, my disposition, my rosy future
I'll share it all with you
Someday, honey, I'll have money
You know what that brings
Furs and diamond rings
And besides those things
There'll be
My ear for music, my feet for dancing, my lips for kissing
I'll share it all with you
[WINNIE:]
My head for thinking, my face for smiling, my hands for cooking
I'll share it all with you
My understanding, my loving nature, my good intentions
I'll share it all with you
I'm not twenty but there's plenty
Underneath my hat
I know where I'm at
And on top of that
There'll be
My ear for music, my feet for dancing, my lips for kissing

I guess there's nothing to do
And nothing to say,
But simply go on my way
And call it a day.
I guess I'm ready to go
Right back on the shelf,
Because at last I've learned
Where you're concerned,
I've just been fooling myself.
I never had a chance,
I thought you cared for me,
But now I see I never had a chance.
I never had a chance.
Though you never told me so,
Somehow I know I never had a chance.
I knew we'd have to part,
For I could always reach your lips
But I could never reach your heart.
My dream about romance
Ended in a friendly chat.
But more than that,
I never had a chance.
I never had a chance,
I thought you cared for me,
But now I see I never had a chance.
I never had a chance.
Though you never told me so,
Somehow I know I never had a chance.
I knew we'd have to part,
For I could always reach your lips
But I could never reach your heart.
My dream about romance
Ended in a friendly chat.
But more than that,

[Verse:]
[Pickles:]
You're compromising me
But that's exactly as it ought to be
I simply fell for you because I wanted to fall
Don't speak of wedding chimes
Because we mustn't be behind the times
Besides a wedding isn't necessary at all
[1st refrain:]
Don't worry because I fell
You don't have to do right by Nell
'Cause I don't wanna be married, I just wanna be friends
Don't worry 'cause I gave in
Best of families live in sin
'Cause they don't wanna be married, they just wanna be friends
While all the happy married couples sit and fight
We'll be still going strong
And fifty million Frenchmen say it's quite alright
And that many can't be wrong
I never would change my name
Even after the baby came
'Cause I don't wanna be married, I just wanna be friends
[2nd refrain:]
[Joe:]
My father would give me hell
If I didn't do right by Nell
But I don't wanna be married, I just wanna be friends
Please grant me my father's wish
Shotgun weddings are just his dish
I don't wanna be married, I just wanna be friends
The kiddies wouldn't like it, they'd be awfully mad
'Twould be known near and far
To be a little "who's-this" isn't really bad
For some of my best friends are
If not for the family
Make an hon'rable man of me!

Too Long, I held you close to my heart,
Too much, I loved you right from the start,
Too soon, you vanished out of my dreams,
Too late, to start all over it seems...
It's over, all over
And soon somebody else will make a fuss about you
But how about me?
It's over, all over
And soon somebody else will tell his friends about you
But how about me?
You'll find somebody new
But what am I to do?
I'll still remember you
When you have forgotten
And maybe, a baby
Will climb upon your knee and put it's arms about you
But how about me?
Moonlight, was beaming down from the sky,
Lovelight, was gleaming deep in your eye,
Sunlight, for just a moment and then,
Twilight, and I was lonely again,
It's over, all over
And soon somebody else will tell his friends about you
But how about me?
You'll find somebody new
But what am I to do?
I'll still remember you
When you have forgotten
And maybe, a baby
Will climb upon your knee and put it's arms about you

Get thee behind me, satan
I want to resist
But the moon is low and I can't say "no"
Get thee behind me
Get thee behind me, satan
I mustn't be kissed
But the moon is low and I may let go
Get thee behind me
Someone I'm mad about
Is waiting in the night for me
Someone that I mustn't see
Satan, get thee behind me
He promised to wait
But I won't appear and he may come here
Satan, he's at my gate
Get thee behind me
Stay where you are

ANNIE OAKLEY and FEMALE CHORUS:
Folks are dumb where I come from,
They ain't had any learning.
Still they're happy as can be
Doin' what comes naturally (doin' what comes naturally).
Folks like us could never fuss
With schools and books and learning.
Still we've gone from A to Z,
Doin' what comes naturally (doin' what comes naturally)
You don't have to know how to read or write
When you're out with a feller in the pale moonlight.
You don't have to look in a book to find out
What he thinks of the moon and what is on his mind.
That comes naturally (that comes naturally).
My uncle out in Texas can't even write his name.
He signs his checks with "x's"
But they cash them just the same.
If you saw my pa and ma,
You'd know they had no learning,
Still they've raised a family
Doin' what comes naturally (doin' what comes naturally)
Cousin Jack has never read an almanac on drinking
Still he's always on the spree
Doin' what comes naturally (doin' what comes naturally).
Sister Sal who's musical has never had a lesson,
Still she's learned to sing off-key
Doin' what comes naturally (doin' what comes naturally).
You don't have to go a private school
Not to pick up a penny near a stubborn mule,
You don't have to have a professor's dome
Not to go for the honey when the bee's not home.
That comes naturally (that comes naturally).
My tiny baby brother, who's never read a book,
Knows one sex from the other,
All he had to do was look,
Grandpa Bill is on the hill
With someone he just married.
There he is at ninety-three,

[Verse:]
Back to the olden
Days that were golden
Memory often strays
Before anyone could gaze
At Molly's and May's
Little ankle displays
Time with its changes
Often arranges
Styles that become the craze
But I am yearning
To be returning
Back to those crinoline days
[Refrain:]
In those dear old crinoline days
Old fashioned people with their old fashioned ways
When the girl a fellow courted
Was the girl he married and supported
Back in eighteen seventy-four
Rosy complexions weren't bought in a store
Granny and grand-daddy longingly gaze

Come on and hear (2x), alexander's ragtime band,
Come on and hear (2x), it's the best band in the land!
They can play a bugle call like you never heard before,
So natural that you want to go to war--
That's just the bestest band what am, honey lamb!
Come on along (2x), let me take you by the hand
Up to the man (2x), who's the leader of the band,
And if you want to hear the swanee river played in ragtime