Eydie Gormé

Isn't She Great (2000)

Actors: Paul Benedict (actor), Peter Blaikie (actor), Larry Block (actor), Jean-Guy Bouchard (actor), James Brown (actor), Maurice Carlton (actor), Johnny Carson (actor), John Cleese (actor), David Costabile (actor), John Cunningham (actor), Charles S. Doucet (actor), Jack Eagle (actor), Clebert Ford (actor), Brett Gillen (actor), Carl Alacchi (actor),

Plot: An unsuccessful over-the-top actress becomes a successful over-the-top authoress in this biography of Jacqueline Susann, the famed writer of "The Valley Of The Dolls" and other trashy novels. Facing a failing career, Susann meets a successful promoter who becomes her husband. After several failures to place her in commercials and a TV quiz show, he hits upon the idea for her to become a writer. In the pre-60's, her books were looked upon as trash and non-printable. But then the sexual revolution hit and an audience was born for her books. The story shows the hidden behind the scenes story of Susan's life, including her autistic son and her continuing bout with cancer that she hid up to her death.

Keywords: 1930s, 1940s, 1950s, 1960s, 1970s, author, autism, autistic-son, based-on-article, breast-cancer
Genres: Biography, Comedy, Romance,
Taglines: Talent isn't everything.

Quotes:

[About a necklace]::Florence Maybelle: If a man ever bought that for me, not only would I have sex with him, but I would ENJOY it!

Jacqueline Susann: All I know about are people fucking their way to the movies, and popping pills and ending up in the gutter. All I know about are aging stars, hopeful whores, and cheap studs. All I know about are tits, ass, and the truth... and nobody writes books about that.

Irving Mansfield: Good luck. Keep it dirty!

Michael Hastings: Mimsy.::Jacqueline Susann: Mimsy? Is that code?

Jacqueline Susann: You're a tight-ass and a smart cookie, but are you my friend?

Henry Marcus: It's not a book anymore. It's a bestseller.

Mrs. Ramirez: These women are animals! If my daughter acted like that, I would strangle her with my bare hands!

Mrs. Ramirez: I think it is the greatest book ever written.

Michael Hastings: It's bestselling pap!

Saturday Night Live: The Best of Chris Rock (1999)

Actors: Dana Carvey (actor), Dana Carvey (actor), Tom Davis (actor), Chris Farley (actor), Michael J. Fox (actor), Darrell Hammond (actor), Phil Hartman (actor), Phil Hartman (actor), Kyle MacLachlan (actor), Tim Meadows (actor), Tim Meadows (actor), Dennis Miller (actor), Dennis Miller (actor), Tracy Morgan (actor), Jim Breuer (actor),

Plot: Before he was the HBO stand-up comedian we all know and love, Chris Rock was on Saturday Night Live doing stand up comedy, expressing his feelings on crime, taxes, prison, holidays, and other topics of society. He also portrayed hilarious characters as Luther Campbell, Onski, Old Man Ernie, and the hilarious talk-show host Nat X!

Keywords: actor-playing-multiple-roles, african-american, archive-footage, based-on-tv-series, black-comedy, celebrity, celebrity-impersonation, character-name-in-title, comedian, compilation
Genres: Comedy, Documentary,

Quotes:

Chris Rock: It's sad that your taxes don't cover any medical. No medical. I think doctors make too much money, you know why? Because they don't cure anything. Everything they cured, they cured 50 years ago. They ain't cured anything in a long time, man, you know, diseases are piling up, man, we've cancer, sicacell, and Geri's Kids still limping around. Come on, Man, get rid of something. Some diseases, they just gave up on. They said: "To hell with it!" Like blindness. You go blind, they don't got nothing for you. You go to a doctor, tell him you're blind, he says, "Hey why don't you get this dog to drag your blind ass around." Where's the medicine? Where's the science? I'm blind! I can't see! There's people that can see that can't handle a dog! Come on, give me a midget or something!

Chris Rock: There's this big fuss about prison over crowding! Prison over crowding. I don't get it. I thought that was the whole idea of prison, a place for prisoners to feel uncomfortable. At my house we used to sleep four to a bed but we never tried to hang my father. Jails are so nice they go back twice. They don't have this problem in other countries. Nobody goes to Siberia twice. Nobody goes to Iran twice because it's hard to snatch another purse if you don't got another hand. It's pretty hard to lie to the judge with no tongue in your mouth! We're too nice to our criminals! Prisoners get three meals a day, homeless people don't get anything. That's messed up. I think criminals should get one meal a day: dinner. And not on a tray like normal people, they should put a cow in the courtyard and whatever happens, happens. You miss a meal go to deathrow and get the extra meat off the electric chair. I know that's harsh, but I hate the electric chair. Because electricity goes through there and electricity costs money, tax payers money! My $50! There are alot of cheap ways to kill someone. Like stabbing don't cost a damn thing. Get a stabbing chair. That's all I got to say, Man!::Kevin Nealon: Chris Rock, ladies and gentlemen.

Onski: Yo whassup? Whassup? Welcome to I'm Chillin'. I'm your host, Onski, and sittin' by my side is my real cool cat, he knows where it's at, he's my brother phat, my acrobat, my laundromat, my aristocrat, my diplomat, my place mat, my Gilligan's hat, my fire side chat, and he's all bizzat! B. Real!

[On the Bensonhurst Dating Game]::Stacey: Okay, number three, if I were a flavor of ice cream, what flavor would I be ancd what would you do with me?::Kevin Stubbs: You would be red raspberry and I'd lick you all over.::Andy Perotta: Excuse me, what did you just say?::Kevin Stubbs: I said what they said!::Andy Perotta: I heard what you said, I'm saying next time you better be a little smarter.::Kevin Stubbs: But I said what they said!::Andy Perotta: Use your head.

Nat X: My next guest starred in the TV movie of the week. Please welcome Tori Spelling. [Tori walks out on stage] Sit your rich white ass down!::Tori Spelling: Hi Nat. Good to be here. How are you?::Nat X: Look, don't come here kissing my behind. The only reason you here is because your daddy paid me okay? Now I saw your movie of the week.::Tori Spelling: Did you like it?::Nat X: Let me put it this way. I've seen better action in a Cambodian whorehouse.

Nat X: I'll beat your ass so bad you'll be the only guy in Heaven with a wheelchair.

Chris Rock: I was the only black kid in my grade. I felt like Franklin from The Charlie Brown Show. You've seen Franklin for 25 years and not one line! Nothing. Twenty five years! Everyone on Charlie Brown is their own character that's all thought out, you know, Linus got the blanket, Lucy's a bitch, Shroder plays the piano, Peppermint Patty's a lesbian. Everybody got their thing except Franklin. Come on, give him a Jamacian accent for something! Twenty five years man! They don't even invite him to the parties, but Snoopy's dancing his ass off. He's in the house, I don't believe it! Pig Pen's in the house! Pig Pen! I'm upset. I gotta go! I can't take this! That damn dog!

Wife: We closin' shop now right?::Old Ernie: Who said. I never said that.::Wife: You did, you mind changing, scheduel forgetting fool.::Old Ernie: Well tonight I wanna stay open you clock watching, early closing, lazy not working, back talking, [Wife agrees to close] you late staying, always agreeing, butt kissing, [Wife inquires as to when are they going to close] You when-are-we-gonna-close-up-and-go asking, turtle neck wearing, attitude giving, free loading, going in the back room, butt wiggling, not listening, you coming in from the back room box carrying, teeth sucking, head shaking, husband ignoring, you're not hearing me, isle reshelving, inventory taking, new price tag giving, thinking I was done but I'm not done because I'm still talking, I got more to say you head neck wearing, uh... Ozone destroying, um... [looks in dictionary] polar ice cap melting, earring wearing, walking out of my site, ducking down behind the damn thing, 38 Calibur Pistol shooting, pointing at me, [Wife fires] Husband shooting, mess making, [Wife fires again], two time shooting neither time fairly wounded. [Wife shoots again] Okay, let's close the store.

Chris Rock: So we got a big election coming up. Who's gonna win? Bill or Bob? Bob or Bill? I like Clinton. Know why I like Clinton? Because he's got real problems. He don't got president problems, he got real problems like you and me, like running out of money, his wife's a pain in the ass, all his friends are going to jail. I know Bill Clinton, I *AM* Bill Clinton!

Chris Rock: Everyone in this room has atleast one gay cousin. You're all thinking about them now aren't you? Well I've got a gay uncle. I call him Aunt Tom. I love my Aunt Tom. I know right now if I was in a fight, my Aunt Tom would take off his pumps and whoop some ass!