You're playing games and need something to chew
You're super hungry so what do I do?
I PUT THAT MEAT IN YOUR MOUTH
I PUT THAT MEAT IN YOUR MOUTH
YOU KNOW YOU LOVE IT WHEN I PUT THAT MEAT IN YOUR MOUTH
UHHHH
you're out on a date macking on some stew
Your girl's super picky so what do you do?
YOU PUT THAT MEAT IN HER MOUTH
YOU PUT THAT MEAT IN HER MOUTH
FIRST DATES ARE ALWAYS GREAT WHEN YOU PUT THAT MEAT IN
HER MOUTH
OHHHH
Her mom got mad 'cause you were out too late
Said "be back by midnight" now she's really irate
PUT THAT MEAT IN HER MOUTH
PUT THAT MEAT IN HER MOUTH
MOMS ALWAYS LOVE GETTING THAT MEAT IN THEIR MOUTHS
YEAH
You're chilling with the dudes and the game's almost
through
The pizza never came so what do you do?
YOU PUT THAT MEAT IN THEIR MOUTHS
YOU PUT THAT MEAT IN THEIR MOUTHS
DUDES LOVE OTHER DUDES PUTTING MEAT IN THEIR MOUTHS
YEAH
When you're home all alone and wanna try something new
You look down at your meat, what do you do?
YOU PUT THAT MEAT IN YOUR MOUTH
YOU PUT THAT MEAT IN YOUR MOUTH
YOU KNOW YOU LOVE IT WHEN I PUT THAT MEAT IN MY MOUTH
OHHH
I'll tell you 'bout one day when I was young, I was
flippin through the channels when I saw something on,
something about robots that destroy each other, it made
me want to go blow up my mother.
Oooh, Anthony is not alone, it made me wanna go blow up
my home, originally I did that and your point? I love
bad grammar and I wish I could rhyme!
If you didn't get what were talkin' about, we're
talkin' 'bout the most amazing thing around, if you
think the transformers, you was right cause everybody
knows that they hella tight!
Transformers creators wouldn't pay us to make this rap,
they told us that the script was full of nonsense! I
bet that you thought I was gonna say crap cause it
rhymes with rap, but I'm better than that!!
Transformers WILL punch you in the face
Transformers WON'T do the macarena
Transformers always say no to drugs
Transformers: robots in disguise
They don't even need to use a glock, they can take you
down with their electric shock! Harder than a body slam
from the rock but not as much as a slap from my--hand!
Oooh, have you heard about optimus prime? Sweeter than
a cherry, sour than a lime, if your booty's gettin hot
and it keeps getting hotter, he'll turn into a
firetruck and spray you with water!
Optimus knows how to use his hose, he be treatin' his
friends like he treats his hoes, stuffin pixie stix
right through his nose, until his nose unloads and
explodes busloads!
Oooh, right now we switch it up, like when decepticon
kicked autobot butt! And, thunderblast is a slut--what?
sh-she is.
Transformers WILL find a cure for death.
Transformers WON'T do your algebra.
Transformers are against terrorism!
Transformers: robots in disguise
The dopest parties are thrown by the autobots, disco
dancin' and chicks hella hot! They got moves like you
ain't never got! No weed, no spank, no crap, no game!
They don't need their stuff to keep their party insane,
moves so whack that you can't explain, dancing's so
crazy that'll melt your brain, moves that decepticon's
can never obtain, hear that Megatron? You ain't got no
game! Autobots, throw it up! Makin it a game! You fight
to contain the shame you've obtained, Optimus will take
you out with a megaballame!(wtf?)
Transformers don't give a damn what you all say,
TRANSFORMERS, hit the club like, every day!
TRANSFORMERS blow things up with satisfaction, they
blow up in your face like a chain reaction!
Transformers WILL run for president
Transformers WON'T dress for halloween
Transformers hardcore since '84
Transformers.
Well, I'm the...
Teleporting, teleporting, teleporting,
Fat guy!
Teleporting, teleporting, teleporting,
Fat guy!
I get back from time,
I got my power glove,
Burt Renolds stole it from me,
Got it back,
Teleporting fat guy,
He's teleporting,
And he's so damn fat,
Yeah, I am,
Teleporting fat guy
Teleporting, teleporting, teleporting,
Fat guy!
Teleporting, teleporting, teleporting,
Fat guy!
Punch Burt Renolds right in the face,
Made him look like such a disgrace,
Ian: (There's another bus stop down the street)
Cause I'm the teleporting,
teleporting fat guy,
Punch you in the back guy,
I'm from outer space,
Teleporting fat guy,
Teleporting fat guy
Teleporting fat guy,
There comes a time in every mans life
when he grows hair where it used to be bare
I know you're feeling weird, but you should be happy
You don't have a vagina, that would be crappy
Because periods suck (and commas rule!)
This is Sex Education, not grammar, fool!
Chorus:
When she gives you affection, you better wear
protection
That skank might have an infection, are you paying
close attention?
In Sex Ed, remember what you read
Just forget what the others have said
get it through your head, use your brain before you go
to bed
And it takes only one sperm cell to make a baby,
And if you think they are cute, then you must be crazy
Babies suck because they barf and poo and cry
They have the ability to pee in your eye
(OH MY GOD IT BURNS!)
And did we mention
The risk of getting STDs
Not just gross hookers have it
Even Dennis Rodman could get a bit
You don't know who Dennis Rodman is?
Well maybe you should watch more basketball
Wait a second this is not about sports
Quick fact! You can't get girls when you're wearing
these shorts
Chorus:
When she gives you affection, you better wear
protection
That skank might have an infection, are you paying
close attention?
In Sex Ed, remember what you read
Just forget what the others have said
get it through your head, use your brain before you go
to bed
Your body is growing
You will get hairy
Your puny voice will start to change
And your no-no place will feel a bit strange
Your pits will stink
You'll get zits on your face
Without this knowledge you will scare girls away
Whoa yeah, Segway Polo
Gotta hit the ball with the wooden mallet
Even the professionals don't know how to ride a segway
scooter
It's okay bro, hug it out, yeah.
Hit the ball into the goal
Because that's how you win at Segway Polo
This is the most intense sport I've ever-
Whoa! That guy's wearing lederhosen yeah
Oh no! There appears to be a dispute on the field!
This German dude is really pissed off
Dude, chill out. It's just Segway Polo
Kid Rock was not paid enough to listen to your crap
There's an ambulence in case you get a boo-boo
There's a merch table in case you want to buy crap
Electric unicycles pretty much kick ass!
This guy's going through a mid-life crisis
Segway Polo, heck yeah!
Kid Rock, heck yeah!
Black people, Heck yeah!
Bouncing boobies, HECK YEAH!!!
This guy's waiting for some surprise butt ***
HERE IT COMES!
Look at me mom! I'm failing on the internet!
This guy's getting tired of playing Segway Polo
Because standing on a segway is very physically
demanding
Oh snap! It's tied! Have to go to a shoot out!
I'm super excited! They're super excited!
LET'S DO THIS!
Shoot
Miss
Shoot
Miss
Shoot
Miss
Shoot
Miss
Shoot
Whoa score!
YOU WIN!
So take that to your spleen,
cause I'm now a part of P.E.N Fifteen!
I'm a member, it's true
I wonder what kind of awesome s*** we'll do.
Maybe fly and kill evil kings!
I hope we do a crap-load of badass things.
I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings,
and all my dreams come true!
Many secrets will be revealed.
Will I get a sword and a sweet-ass shield?
My life has changed and my fate is sealed.
And I can stop sniffing glue,
until my lips turn all blue
BAD GUYS!
WATCH OUT!
I'll slap your face
with a big-ass trout.
You'll never know the wonderousness,
'cause you're now the stupidest,
And I'm the king of awesomeness.
I'd give it all for-
Love the taste of-
I'm on my knees for-
Take the girth of-
P.E.N Fifteen!
Can't get enough of-
P.E.N Fifteen!
Dedicate my life to-
It was the year 2005, Youtube had just begun
So we made a video, just for fun
We lip synced the Pokemon theme, we thought it was
alright
But randomly, some dick removed it, claiming copyright
POKEMON, YOU DON'T KNOW THE LAW
Why can't you see, it was a parody
POKEMON
Oh, you used to be cool, 'til you turned into a tool
POKEMON, YOU CAN GO TO HELL
It got tons of views, your legal team's full of n00bs
Mess with me and I'll teach you,
POKEMON!
TRY TO SUE US NOW!
Try to sue us now!
Had 24 million views
The most viewed on YouTube's space
But the legal douches flagged it
Robbed our rightful place
Let's kick their ass, the time is right
There's no better team
Arm-in-arm we'll win the fight
It's always been our dream!
POKEMON, YOU DON'T KNOW THE LAW
Why can't you see, it was a parody
POKEMON
Oh, you used to be cool, 'til you turned into a tool
POKEMON, YOU CAN GO TO HELL
It got tons of views, your legal team's full of n00bs
Mess with me and I'll teach you,
POKEMON!
Try to sue us now!
POKEMON, YOU DON'T KNOW THE LAW
Why can't you see, it was a parody
POKEMON
Ooooh, you used to be cool, til you turned into a tool
POKEMON, YOU CAN GO TO HELL
It got tons of views, your legal team's full of noobs
Mess with me and I'll teach you
POKEMON!
TRY TO SUE US NOW!
The greatest thing ever just happened to me
(You see!) Take that, Mom, you can't tell me how to be
I'm livin' on my own and I've got no rules
Yeah, I rule my own house and I'll tell you what I'll
do (ha!)
First, I'll grab some milk; drink straight from the jug
Then grab a sandwich, eat it butt-naked on the rug
All these whack fruit snacks with only five in a
pack...
"Only eat one, young man" F**K THAT! I'll snack 'til I
yack !
No more parents! No more rules! Yeah, nice try, Mom,
but I ain't no fool
No more bath time! No more hugs! And if I feel like it,
I will crap on the rug.
No more mommy! No more dad! Livin' on my own; most fun
I've ever had
I'm eatin' cookies for breakfast 'cause I don't give a
f**k
Shoot your squirties in the air and scream PARENTS
SUCK!
My parents ain't around to tell me what I can't say, so
I yell "f**k" "s**t" and "darn" every day.
My parents ain't around to tell me what to do, so I
leave the door open while I take a big poo
My parents ain't around to make me mow the lawn,
instead I'll watch dirty vids with the volume on
My parents ain't around to say I can't watch certain
flicks. They didn't let me watch Bambi, what a bunch of
dicks!
No more parents! No more rules! Yeah, nice try, Mom,
but I ain't no fool
No more bath time! No more hugs! And if we feel like
it, we will crap on the rug.
No more mommy! No more dad! Finally I can wear my
skanky top that I had
I'm eatin' shards of glass 'cause I don't give a f**k!
Shoot your squirties in the air and scream PARENTS
SUCK!
No one to make me clean my room each day of the week
No one to read me bedtime stories and kiss me on my
cheek
No one to zip my jacket when it's cold outside
No one to tell me to take my insulin when I'm 'bout die
No one to do my laundry when it stinks up the house
No one to cuddle at night when I'm scared of a mouse
No one to tell me to not take candy from strangers
No one to tell me not to show my peepee to strangers
Anthony: Hey mom...
Mom: Hi son!
Anthony: ...do you think I can move back in?
Walkin' down the street and everybody's starin'
Just jealous of what I'm wearin'
That's right it's a fanny pack, bitches
Hot pink and matches my britches
You're thinking "that guy's insane
Damn, what's his name? What's wrong with his brain?"
I'm perfectly sane, just hear what I say
Everything I need's just one zip away
My fanny pack, my fanny pack is all I need
It's on my waist while I shower and while I pee
It holds my hairspray so I look good every day
It holds me tight and keeps the Boogie Man away
You can't mess with my fanny pack, I'm a maniac
It's a fact, you better watch your back
Packs more than a back pack
One time i looked inside and I found an iMac
Only tough guys wear fanny packs
Hulk Hogan, Chuck Norris and this guy...
Diss me and you better watch your back
I'll smack you with my 20 pound fanny pack
I've been attacked by a wild beast
I think it was a furry hippopotamus from Greece
I needed a weapon for the fight
What I pulled out was a stick of dynamite
Makes great gifts for the holidays
"It's my d*** in a pack, babayyyy"
If you talk smack, I'll put you in my sack
Feet in the sand,
Sunglasses on my face,
Hat on my head,
I'm in surf city,
I'M IN SURF CITY!
Watch me play my miniature golf,
Get it in the hole,
Panthers biting my hand,
It hurts,
Tiki man humping just for fun,
Feeding dolphins out of my hand cause I
can,
CANNON PENIS!!!
This tiki man's biting off my head,
SKEE BALL IS FUN!!!
Even though I'm really bad at it,
I am on a pirate ship,
I'm going to kill you,
I'm in front of the ocean,
Now I'm in the ocean,
OH MY GOD THIS PIZZA IS AMAZING!!!
Surfboards!
WHY DO I SUCK SO MUCH AT SKEE
BALL?!
Ice cream!
Milky Milkshake
Milky Milkshake!
Milky Milkshake
Dancin' with my milkshake, baby.
OH YEAH!
Yeah, I'm dancin' with my milkshake!
Oh, I love my milky, milky milkshake, baby!
Milky Milkshake
Milky Milkshake
Milky Milkshake
Shakin' my milk milk baby!
Shaking my milkshake on the dance floor!
Milky Milkshake
Milky Milkshake!
Milkshakes are my favourite things in the world!
One time I drank 5 of them, then I hurled
Milkshakes make me super happy...
If they didn't exist that would be crappy!
Milky Milkshake
Milky Milkshake
Milky Milkshake!
Oh my milkshake!
Milky Milkshake
Milky Milkshake!
Oh my milkshake!
Milky Milkshake!
Give it baby!
Milkshakes are my favourite things in the world!
I drank five of them,
Then I hurled!
Milkshakes make me super happy!
If they didn't exist, that would be crappy!
Milky Milkshake
Milky Milkshake
Milky Milkshake!
Ooo!
Give me that milkshake!
Milky Milkshake
Ooo!
My milkshake!
Oh I'm shaking my milkshake!
Milky Milkshake!
Ooo! Give me that milkshake!
GIMME IT!
Okay... you can have some!
Yeah my name is Link, man, I'm more well known than Lil
Wayne
Oh you thought my name was Zelda? THAT'S A F**KING
GIRL'S NAME!
I've saved the world like fifteen times and saved
the princess from demise
And I do it all alone, with no help and no advice
"Hey, Look, Listen" Hey, look, listen, you f**king
annoying fairy
I'd rather be forced to listen to constant Katy Perry
I think it's time I got some recognition, don't you
think?
Legend of Zelda? SCREW THAT! Legend of LINK.
----------
'Cause he's the L to the I to the N to the K
Wears tights every day, don't give a damn what you say
Got bigger balls than even Evel Knievel
And he ain't gonna stop 'til the world is free of evil
----------
I'll break all your pots and I best not hear your
bitchin'
I've got the Triforce of courage, BITCH! So you better
listen (that's right)
I'm called bushwhacker and my bank account's maxed out
Got 999 rupees and my leather wallet's packed now
Can't back down, can't slack now, the world needs me to
attack now
Yet I'm forced to pay out the ass for these bombs in
Castle Town
Just give me some heart containers and let me spit on
my ocarina
So I can kick that dumbass Ganon all the way to
Argentina
----------
'Cause he's the L to the I to the N to the K
Wears tights every day, don't give a damn what you say
Got bigger balls than even Evel Knievel
And he ain't gonna stop 'til the world is free of evil
----------
Yo, you low-life elf, need a ride up to the North Pole?
Santa's got a thing for elfs and he's getting' his
marriage annulled.
You really think saving the princess will convince me
you're straight? (Ha-ha!)
The "Uggs and Skirt" fad is so 2008!
Oh snap, it's Ganondorf tryin' to jock on my style
Batman's cape, Lincoln's beard, were you dressed by a
child?
You're a ginger with no soul and you look like a
f**king troll
Isn't kidnapping helpless girls getting a little bit
old?
You think Zelda's stupid enough to get kidnapped so
often?
She runs off to my castle, into my room and begs to get
locked in.
Yeah, she's sick of your little Deku nuts and your
girly fairy face
L-I-N-K? More like L-I-N-Gay.
Man, you should've been aborted, just like the Jersey
Shore
It's a damn lie you told about Zelda 'cause she loves
my master sword
It's a shame your whole life's been a waste trying to
rule Hyrule
'cause today will be the day known as "The day you got
schooled"
----------
'Cause he's the L to the I to the N to the K
Wears tights every day, don't give a damn what you say
Got bigger balls than even Evel Knievel
Throw my burger in the air
And I drink some of your soda
Then I do a little bit of hopscotch
And bust out the Macarena
Then I train my dog to sit
And then I train my mom to sit
Knit a sweater to impress the girls
But I'm not very good at knitting
That was the most embarrassing thing I've ever done,
But the girls taking pictures, thought that it was fun
I was running away and I tripped on my pants,
But I saved myself with the cool breakdance!
Now it's time to eat my burger
And enjoy it's awesome taste.
I'm gonna open my mouth super wide
MAX!
Max had a car that's really sweet
Doesn't wear a seatbelt cause that's for geeks
Not just that but it chafs his neck
And he thinks it's stupid as heck
Max! Max! Max!
Max has got a car!
Yeah, a car!
A two door freakin' car!
It's fast! It's fast!
It's really freakin' fast!
And, it is, really badass!
Max doesn't stop at stop signs
Cause they're retarded
What is that smell I'm smelling?
He just farted
Never signals while changing lanes
Drives with no hands cause he's insane
And if you think that is absurd
He'll turn to you and flip a bird
Max! Max! Max!
Max has got a car!
Yeah, a car!
A two door freakin' car!
It has, gold rims!
They are really sick!
Yeah, like Max!
Max is really sick!
He talks on his cell phone
He doesn't use a bluetooth
And if you dent his car
He'll hit your face like Babe Ruth
Uses the most expensive gas
His driving skills are unsurpassed
Does doughnuts every chance he gets
He's even cooler than Pete Wentz
Max! Max! Max!
Max has got a car!
Yeah, a car!
A two door freakin' car!
He will, get his, license in six months
But now, he has, a provisional license
Wait!
He only has his provisional driver's license?
But that means he needs a parent riding in the car at
all times!
What!?
His mom's been in the back seat the whole time?
So she's condoning these illegal activities!?
Shame on you, Max's mom!
Shame!
Max!
Look out! A cliff!
Right in front of you!
Yeah! A cliff!
A big ass freakin' cliff!
Crap! You are, flying off a cliff!
I hope, you are, wearing your seatbelt!
Oh and he's not wearing his seatbelt
I guess he didn't like how it felt
Now he's broken his manly legs
Max, hope you won't repeat the same mistakes
Happy cow happy cow wherever you go.
Happy cow happy cow take it to and fro.
Happy cow happy cow follows you all day.
Happy cow happy cow play play play.
Happy cow Happy cow better than the rest.
Happy cow happy cow is the best.
Happy cow Happy cow never goes away.
Happy cow happy cow you must always play.
Happy cow Happy cow you will never be bored.
Happy cow Happy cow never be ignored.
Happy cow Happy cow steals your will to live.
There's a thing or two about high school that you need
to know.
We wish we had known this when we were freshmen.
Watch out for Freshman Friday: the most dangerous day
of the week.
You thought you were excited for the weekend,
But this is where your week ends.
Four more years of obeying authority,
Without question.
Don't reach super sighted.
There's only 1,416 pages left to read;
It will be time to celebrate, when it's time to
graduate.
Whatever you do,
Don't you ever bring a roller backpack to school.
Because douchebag kids will kick them over.
We don't see why, though-
They're really convenient!
If a girl gives you a smile, don't be deceived:
She wants you to father her child.
And he's probably not even cute!
The only good about high school
Is that there's super badass playgrounds-
They have the best swings ever!
I once jumped five feet in the air!
Four more years of obeying authority,
Without question.
Don't reach super sighted.
There's only 1,416 pages left to read;
It will be time to celebrate, when it's time to
graduate.
To think about how happy I was before I came,
Running out of every room I walked in today.
But the most miserable part,
Is that it's only the first day.
If high school was compared to seeing your mom in a
Playboy Magazine,
Then maybe high school isn't that bad,
'Cause that'd be the biggest boner kill in history...
Here's the thing about saying firetruck,
It starts with F and it ends in UCK!
So when you're in trouble or out of luck
You no longer have to exclaim
"Oh F***!"
Hey, look at that!
They just bleeped me!
Just say firetruck, it's so easy!
Let's just take a moment
Just sit right there!
I'll tell you can say firetruck, anywhere!
Stub your toe, FIRETRUCK!
Lose your cash, FIRETRUCK!
You're naked and your parents come home, FIRETRUCK!
Fail your class, FIRETRUCK!
Scratch your ass, Firetruck! :)
Cut your nails too short and it hurts, FIRETRUCK!
Crap your pants, FIRETRUCK!
Bite your tongue, FIRETRUCK!
No one shows up to your party, FIRETRUCK!
Red-ring of death, FIRETRUCK!
Forget to breathe, FIRETRUCK!
Found out your mom is your dad, FIRETRUCK!
Say firetruck at every chance you see
It's even more fun when it gets bleeped!
Say it with me now,
Don't make this suck!
FFFFFFFFF***************UUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKKK!
Whoa, man! Did you just say F***?
No man, I just said firetruck!
(Vocal) But... when you bleep it... it says f***!
(Singing)Who cares man, we're saying firetruck!
Lose your teeth, FIRETRUCK!
iPhone bill, FIRETRUCK!
Jonas Brothers stuck in your head, FIRETRUCK!
Crash your car, FIRETRUCK!
Into your dog, FIRETRUCK!
Find out your dog is your mom, FIRETRUCK!
(Vocal) Wait... so, my mom is my dog?
And your dad!
This is ridiculous!
You act like it's not normal!!
IT'S NOT!
It is in Canada.
They have Man-Dog-women in Canada?
Yep.
(Singing)Fail science, FIRETRUCK!
Eat a pencil, FIRETRUCK!
There's over 500 Pokemon?! WHAT THE FIRETRUCK!
Lose the game, FIRETRUCK!
David Blaine, FIRETRUCK!
Get run over by a...
(Vocal) What?
(Singing) Firetruck!
(Vocals) So yeah.
Next time you want to say the F-word,
Just say firetruck.
It's more polite.
And if you didn't like this video?
Cute, furry kittens
Snacking on my grass
I didn't know what they were doing there
So I took them into my house
That was a big mistake
And I'll tell you why
Never let a cat eat so much grass
Or they'll barf all over your place
Cute little kittens
Eat, eat, eat, all your grass
Cute little kittens
Walk, walk, walk, into your house
Cute little kittens
Barf, barf, barf, on your floor
Cute little kittens
Make, make, make, you clean it up
Those little kittens
Are out to get you!
You better watch out
They'll kill you in your sleep!
I then took those kittens
Took them out of my house
I put my foot up their ass
And kicked them into the sky!
Those little kittens flew
Flew right into space
That was the last I heard of them
There was this one time not too long ago
I saw this one girl that made my heart explode
She wasn't like the rest, no, she wasn't a ho
If I made her my girl, my life would be whole
I've never spoken to her, not even a word
I know that you're thinking that sounds absurd
But believe me I've tried, but to no avail
When I flirt with girls, I always fail
Boxman, Boxman, Boxman can't get a girlfriend
He's trying, real hard, but he can't get a girlfriend
It's about time that I face my fears
Or I'll regret this for years and years
Man, I'm so nervous, I think I might hurl...
Hey there Boxman, my name is pretty girl
Oh wait, i'm sorry, i'm not good at this
...You smell that? it smells like piss
Oh God, excuse me, just ignore the pee
Will you please go on a date with me?
Boxman, Boxman, Boxman just got a girlfriend
Even after pissing his pants, Boxman just got a
girlfriend
Why you with a box when you're lookin' so hot
You know that kinda thing will get you shot
Humans and boxes just don't intertwine
I could have you arrested for this crime
What's wrong with you man? It's the 21st century
Why you gotta go and act so elementary
I'm human inside, although it doesn't show
Come on baby, lets go
I'm not gonna let people bring me down
Now that's just something that I won't allow
I taught myself that i should just walk away
But then I always throw boiling water in their face
If there's something that I've learned from all this
It's that love is not about a kiss or chocolates
But sticking together through thick and thin
And if someone's a dick, throw hot water on him
Boxman, Boxman, Boxman has got a girlfriend
He's wanted for attempted murder, but he still has a
girlfriend
Boxman, Boxman, Boxman has got a girlfriend
all I hear about is christmas spirit
f--- that s---, man, i don't wanna hear it
christmas as a box sucks and i fear it
not this time, i'm not gonna be near it
i need to find a way to get away from it all
the mountains would probably be a good call
only snow and trees is what i recall
i need to get there fast. oh s---, there's a wall
I'll tell you why I hate this time of the year
last christmas my family came to spread cheer
they gave me a bunch of gifts that teased me
none of the presents were aimed to please me
so that's why christmas is spent by myself
no more santa and his f---ing elf
but now i've reached my destination
and i can have fun without hesitation
(boxman / boxman's christmas / it's the boxman
christmas / boxman christmas / boxman christmas)
hey man, why'd you hit my girlfriend for?
want me to flatten you, use you as a floor?
no, no, no, i was just trying to have fun
oh, you have a bat? well, i have a gun
calm down guys, no need to fight
i can give ya'll some --- tonight
that sounds pretty good, my hoe is right
yeah that's a great way to settle this plight
just hurry up and get into our ride
there is even some free candy inside
hey now, what are those shirts you're wearing
and what are those box cutters you're bearing
it was your kind that changed our life, you see
our family we killed in a box factory
now we'll remove you from history
look over there, i think i see bruce lee
now you see the kind of crap i go through
but now i look at life with a different view
my faith in my family's been rebuilt
My name is boxman, I'm runnin for pres
I know I'm gonna win cause i'm better than the rest
I'm here to fix the U.S. so don't get stressed
And I'm the best dressed, but I digress
The North to the South to the East to the West
America will look like less of a mess
McCain's not the best, I must confess
Now let me try to express my detest
1 He's bald and stanky
2 He's old and cranky
3 He's got hair on his back
4 He smokes a lot of crack
As you can see, John McCain is a joke
He's in his mid 70s, he's bound to have a stroke
The other candidates will feel the pain
When I blaze the trail with my campaign
Boxman is runnin for president
Boxman is the number one candidate
Boxman will give McCain Chicken pox
Boxman is the only man in a box
Barack Obama's not the right choice either
If it was up to me you'd vote for neither
Both McCain and Obama should get the axe
Just let me tell you these Obama facts
1 He's got a chubby belly
2 His pits are really smelly
3 Osama's his brother
4 He slept with my mother
So please make the right choice and vote for me
You'll see I'll fix the 'E'conomy
I guarantee health care would be free
And every day of your life would be filled with glee
Now let's talk about the war in Iraq
And how we're wasting our time with that crap
It'd be faster with my new policy
To just nuke each enemy country
Boxman is runnin for president
Boxman is the number one candidate
Boxman will steal Obama's socks
Boxman is the only man in a box
Let's stop wasting money on education
And quit spending cash on transportation
Let's focus on something for the population
Like the eradication of constipation
So when it comes time for you to choose
Which candidate will wear the president's shoes
You'll vote for me and I'll tell you why
I'm a nice guy and get nothing in return but
Cut in line, mean mugged, smacked on the butt
By the way, saying "Good game" doesn't mean it's OK
Guy on guy butt slapping's really gay
No, that's not me now, I'm Boxman version two
Out with the old box, in with the new
Don't expect a dance from me that's so overplayed
Boxman Dance time won't get me laid
The old me would be polite and hold open doors
Not the new me, I'll walk past 'cause I'm hardcore
Hand me that paper, no I won't say please
Because I'm a BAMF like Sue from Glee
Which gang should I join? The Bloods or the Crips?
Why not combine the two? Purple is hip
(Barney is a dinosaur from our imagination)
Let's see that dinosaur's gang operation
He's a Boxman version two
Everything you knew about him's now untrue
He's a Boxman two point oh
He's really badass like G.I. Joe
He's a Boxman in a gang
They make him do things that are insane
He's a Boxman as you can see
Breaking that table was really mean
So maybe gang life ain't all it's cracked up to be
Hanging out with old men who live at home just ain't
for me
Oops Forgot to wear my undies
They all saw my box-butt and made fun of me
Stop, everybody put your hands in the air
There's a gang affair going on in here, I'm aware
Holy f**ing sh**, I'm f***ing out of here, man
I had nothing to do with any of their plans
Whoa, oh my God, dude, what the hell is all this?
Gangs play Pokemon? You can't be serious
Hey, is that a Snorlax? that card is super cool
I'll trade you for my Squirtle, Mewtwo, and Tentacruel
Now I'm a box living in a box on the street
All 'cause I wanted street cred from the industry
I don't care if people don't like what they see
If they got beef with me, they can go hump a tree
He's a Boxman version two
Everything you knew about him's now untrue
He's a Boxman two point oh
He really really really likes The Cosby Show
He's a Boxman acts like himself now
Doesn't try to act like the rest of the crowd
He's a Boxman now he's cleaner
Hey, Lou
What's up, dude?
I forgive you for throwing a boulder at me
And you, yeah, you
You are really cool
I watch re-runs of The Hulk at night
So I can see you
I hope you wanna hang out with me
I really hope you do
And if you don't, that's all right
I'll peer you through your window at night
But I swear, I'm not a stalker
I have pictures of you in my locker
I don't know what I would do if I don't ever hang out
with you
Work out and get super buff
Lift weights and do manly stuff
Like go hunting and watch NASCAR
Woah.
Ian's sad.
He's lost his friend, who is now a Mexican.
Oh yeah
He's eating ice-cream
Woah, what the hell is that?
I think it is a blow-up doll
Oh, now look at Anthony
He has got a taco in his hat
WTF? That guy thinks he's phat
And by "phat" I mean the P-H-A-T version of that
Woah it's that creepy guy again
On the first day of Christmas,
My homie got for me,
A copy of my favorite movie
On the second day of Chirstmas,
My homie got for me,
Two double Ds,
And a copy of my favorite movie
On the third day of Christmas,
My homie got for me,
Three fresh tats,
Two double Ds,
And a copy of my favorite movie
On the fourth day of Christmas,
My homie got for me,
Four hummers humming,
Three fresh tats,
Two double Ds,
And a copy of my favorite movie
On the fifth day of Christmas,
Mt homie got for me,
Five golden grills,
Four hummers humming,
Three fresh tats,
Two double Ds,
And a copy of my favorite movie
On the tenth day of Christmas,
My homie got for me,
Ten food stamps,
Nine knives a stabbin',
Eight beeps a beepin',
Seven spinners spinnin',
Six glocks a poppin',
Five golden grills,
Four hummers humming,
Three fresh tats,
Two double Ds,
And a copy of my favorite movie
On the eleventh day of Chrismas,
My homie got for me,
Eleven snipers snipping,
Ten food stamps,
Nine knives a stabbin',
Eight beeps a beepin',
Seven spinners spinnin',
Six glocks a poppin',
Five golden grills,
Four hummers humming,
Three fresh tats,
Two double Ds,
And a copy of my favorite movie
On the twelveth day of Chirstmas,
My homie got for me,
Twelve manicures,
Eleven snipers snipping,
Ten food stamps,
Nine knives a stabbin',
Eight beeps a beepin',
Seven spinners spinnin',
Six glocks a poppin',
Five golden grills,
Four hummers humming,
Three fresh tats,
Two double Ds,
![B.o.B - Nothin' On You [feat. Bruno Mars] (Official Video)](http://web.archive.org./web/20130430003706im_/http://i.ytimg.com/vi/8PTDv_szmL0/default.jpg "B.o.B - Nothin' On You [feat. Bruno Mars] (Official Video)")
