Lurch

The Addams Family XXX (2011)

Actors: Rodney Moore (editor), Nina Hartley (actress), Alanah Rae (actress), Amber Rayne (actress), Aurora Snow (actress), India Summer (actress), Rodney Moore (producer), Rodney Moore (director), Bill Bailey (actor), Seth Gamble (actor), Chris Johnson (actor), Rodney Moore (actor), Rocco Reed (actor), Barry Scott (actor), Evan Stone (actor),

Genres: Adult, Comedy,

Quotes:

Morticia Addams: And after that, I think it's high time that Wednesday and I had that special mother-daughter talk.::Gomez Addams: Ah! On where to bury the bodies.::Morticia Addams: No, silly, we had that talk a year ago. I mean the talk about how to be a woman and what it means to have those special urges.

Zompire! Dr. Lester's Monster (2010)

Actors: Beth Hubbard (actress), James B. Cox (actor), Blake Heiss (actor), Mairin Hart (actress), Lucien Knotter (writer), Kiah S. Jones (actress), Lucien Knotter (director), Ed Lloyd Moore (actor), Andreas Chalikias (actor), Kevin Lander (actor), James Littlejohn (actor), Clayton Stone (producer), Clayton Stone (actor), Lucas Glashoff (editor), Jef Johnson (actor),

Plot: Dr. Lester [Ed Moore] just can't catch a break. For the umpteenth time, his application to the Mad Scientist Guild has been denied. With one final chance to prove his worthiness, he sets out to create the ultimate scary monster: a half zombie, half vampire hybrid, the doubly undead, zompire [Blake Heiss]! But when his creation turns out to be the least scary thing imaginable, the tables are turned and hilarity ensues in a comedy you'll go gaga for!

Keywords: dancer, laboratory, mad-scientist, monster, secret-society, spoof, vampire, zombie
Genres: Comedy, Horror, Short,
Taglines: The undead undead.

Celtic Pride (1996)

Actors: Judd Apatow (producer), Judd Apatow (writer), Daniel Stern (actor), Damon Wayans (actor), Gail O'Grady (actress), Colin Quinn (producer), Will Lyman (actor), Christopher McDonald (actor), Darrell Hammond (actor), Paul Guilfoyle (actor), Dan Aykroyd (actor), Roger Birnbaum (producer), Jeffrey Ross (actor), Colin Quinn (writer), Judd Apatow (writer),

Plot: The National Basketball Association play-offs are taking place, and the Boston Celtics are facing the Utah Jazz in a crucial series. This is also the last year that any games will be played in the Boston Garden, which is going to be torn down after the end of the season. Mike and Jimmy, two die-hard sports fans who will risk anything for the Celtics to win, are really getting into the games. The Celtics would be a sure win if it weren't for Lewis Scott, the cocky, loud-mouth star of the Jazz. After Scott himself punishes the Celtics in a bad loss, Mike and Jimmy decide to take things into their own hands by kidnapping Scott and holding him until after the crucial game takes place.

Keywords: athlete, bar, basketball, basketball-fan, basketball-player, boston-celtics, boston-massachusetts, friend, irish-american, kidnapping
Genres: Comedy, Sport,
Taglines: If you can't beat 'em... steal him!

Quotes:

Mike O'Hara: Hey Scott! I heard Manute Bol is banging your mom!::Jimmy Flaherty: Manute Bol! Your mom!::Lewis Scott: Oh, that's whitty, whitey.

Jimmy Flaherty: [playing Invent-A-Drink] This one is called Jimmy's Dick. It's short [sets down shot glass] fat [sets another shot glass to the right] but it fills the gap. [sets down one in the middle]

Suzy: [handing Jimmy a hotdog] ...I toasted it just the way you like.::Jimmy Flaherty: How'd you do that? There's no toaster around here.::Suzy: I used my curling iron.

Mike O'Hara: [after hearing Marv Albert mention talking about him and Jimmy on the radio] ...Jimmy! Marv Albert's talking about us on the radio... Ohhh I could die now!

Mike O'Hara: [having been embarrassed in front of Larry Bird] Where are our drinks?

[Nick the landlord wants the rent]::Mike O'Hara: Write a check.::Jimmy Flaherty: It'll bounce.::Mike O'Hara: Write it anyway.

Jimmy Flaherty: You're still dwellin' on that Buckner thing?::Mike O'Hara: Yeah, Chris McCarthy.

Lurch: Yo, coach, I'll play. Just give me a chance. I can handle the rock.::Coach Kimball: I'll call you if I need you, Lurch.::Lurch: Don't dog me, coach. I've got the bad crap.::Coach Kimball: Well, I'll tell you what, you take the bad crap and this basketball and DO THE DRILLS! Now!::[Lurch misses a sure slam dunk]::Coach Kimball: I hate my life.

Lewis Scott: Who are you man? Some bitter ex-high school player who never really made it? You sit around, watching sports, criticizing professional athletes 'cause you wish it was you out there.::Mike O'Hara: [Scoffs] You are so far off. It's sad. [Groans Quietly]

Mike O'Hara: [Jimmy punched him] Why did you do that for?::Jimmy Flaherty: I am sick and tired of your bullshit!

Mask of Death (1996)

Actors: John Dunning (producer), David Mitchell (producer), Jerry Wasserman (actor), Dave 'Squatch' Ward (actor), André Link (producer), Rae Dawn Chong (actress), Tom Cavanagh (actor), Kevin McNulty (actor), Lauro Chartrand (actor), Lorenzo Lamas (actor), Billy Dee Williams (actor), Lorenzo Lamas (actor), Hiro Kanagawa (actor), Norman Orenstein (composer), Jeff Sackman (producer),

Plot: While attempting to flee from the FBI, the criminal Frank Dallio kills Detective McKenna's wife, Rachel. McKenna himself is shot in the face by the professional killer Lyle Mason, who dies in a car crash shortly thereafter. The FBI persuades McKenna to undergo facial surgery and take the place of Lyle Mason in order to find Dallio and a valuable microchip.

Keywords: action-hero, actor-playing-multiple-roles, beretta, blood, blood-spatter, brawl, brunette, cell-phone, desert-eagle, disarming-someone
Genres: Action, Thriller,
Taglines: Danger has a new face

Quotes:

Agent Jeffries: What would Lyle Mason do?::McKenna: I dunno, bust some heads?

[after killing a guy, acting as Lyle Mason]::McKenna: Next!

Agent Jeffries: Do you ever stop eating?::Mickelson: It's my metabolism!

Agent Jeffries: You blew up 3 million dollars! My boss is gonna have a hard time explaining this to headquarters!::Cassandra Turner: Your boss is an asshole!

Bloodfist VII: Manhunt (1995)

Actors: Don 'The Dragon' Wilson (miscellaneous crew), Michael McDonald (actor), Rob Kerchner (writer), Mike Elliott (producer), Roger Corman (producer), Art Camacho (miscellaneous crew), Don 'The Dragon' Wilson (producer), Steven Williams (actor), Don 'The Dragon' Wilson (actor), Stephen Quadros (actor), Mike Upton (producer), Rick Dean (actor), Tami Mor (costume designer), Rachel Atkinson (miscellaneous crew), Cyril O'Reilly (actor),

Plot: Don "the Dragon" Wilson is a man pursued. Branded a cop-killer, he must fight simply to stay alive, and to clear his name... with the very police who framed him.

Keywords: action-hero, art, beating, beretta, blood, blood-spatter, brawl, chop-socky, combat, crooked-cop
Genres: Action, Thriller,

Punters (1984)

Actors: Sean Bean (actor), Peter Howitt (actor), Christopher Menaul (director), Andrée Molyneux (producer), Janet Dale (actress), Lesley Clare O'Neill (actress), Julie Shipley (actress), Stephen Wakelam (writer), Dorothy Vernon (actress), Tony Capstick (actor), Johnny Allan (actor), Marie Wilson (actress), Mick Ward (actor), Tom Davidson (actor),

Genres: Comedy,

Halloween with the New Addams Family (1977)

Actors: John Astin (actor), Vito Scotti (actor), David Wader (miscellaneous crew), Henry Darrow (actor), Carolyn Jones (actress), Jackie Coogan (actor), Carolyn Jones (actress), Charles W. Fries (producer), Parley Baer (actor), Elvia Allman (actress), Felix Silla (actor), Ted Cassidy (actor), Vic Mizzy (composer), Charles M. Fries (producer), Patrick Campbell (actor),

Genres: Comedy, Horror,

Quotes:

Gomez Addams: To be, or not to be? NOT to be... THAT is the ANSWER!

Morticia Addams: [an explosion is heard from the kitchen] Did you leave a cake in the oven, Mama?::Grandmama Addams: It's that woman again! That's my kitchen, not an airport!

Morticia Addams: [singing] Christmas and Easter bring wonderful treasures/spirits and pumpkins bring far greater pleasures.

Uncle Fester: We get the strangest people in here.

First Cop: Sorry folks, but the neighbors complained about the noise.::Morticia Addams: But this is a holiday, and a very special holiday for the Addams family, everyone here is a relative.::Uncle Fester: [brings in the crooks] I'm sorry you're mistaken, Morticia, these two aren't.::First Cop: Well... Bones Lafferty, and Louie the Lard?::Gomez Addams: You must be mistaken officer, these people are family. [Fester shakes his head]::Boss Crook: No, we - we just said that... we're not members of this family. They've got a lion, a lion! In the basement, and a lady flew out the window!::Little Bo Peep: That was no lady, it was a pterodactyl.

Fake Gomez: [Fester has him on the rack, mistaking him for Gomez] I'm just a guest here, take off my mask and you'll see.::Uncle Fester: An imposter! That's the first mistake I ever made on the rack, if I stretched you out, I could see about having you shortened. And if your socks are stretched, I'll be very happy to knit you a new pair.

[repeated line]::Uncle Fester: Don't step on Kitty Kat's tail!

Uncle Fester: Don't step on Kitty Kat's tail.::Mikey: Do I look like the kind of guy who'd step on Kitty Kat's tail? [leaves, Kitty Kat roars and Mikey returns terrified and his clothes torn]::Uncle Fester: You stepped on Kitty Kat's tail.

Mother Frump: [to the relatives in the graveyard] I want to apologize to you all, I almost gave up the old broom and fly recipe. I was wrong, I forgot the old family motto, "Never say die!" [buried relatives applaud] Thank you, well, back to the drawing board.

Morticia Addams: This is Mr. Grim, show him the house.::Grandmama Addams: He's in it.

While the Cat's Away... (1972)

Actors: Chuck Vincent (editor), Darby Lloyd Rains (actress), Marlene Willoughby (actress), Chuck Vincent (producer), Chuck Vincent (writer), Chuck Vincent (director), Roger Caine (actor), Britt Corvin (actress), Calvert DeForest (actor), Duane Tucker (actor), Barbara Benner (actress), Allan Shackleton (producer), Dulce Mann (actress), Jim Petri (composer), Hank Russo (writer),

Genres: ,
Taglines: She loves to play. She goes all the way. She's SUPURRTAIL!! She's X-rated and in COLOR! The picture that gives it to you in the ear!

Smoke (1971)

Actors: Håkan Serner (actor), Ulf Brunnberg (actor), Louise Brattberg (editor), Christina Lindberg (actress), Frank Sundström (actor), Torbjörn Axelman (director), Torbjörn Axelman (writer), Lee Hazlewood (actor), Lee Hazlewood (writer), Lee Hazlewood (composer), Axelle Axell (actress), Cia Löwgren (actress), Miel Saan (actress), Lena Edling (actress), Monika Karlberg (actress),

Plot: A group of Americans who live together in an old mansion somewhere in Sweden spend their time between working at the local airplane plant and hanging out with their revolutionary friends. Smoke (Lee Hazlewood) has something going with his boss's daughter, but when the boss finds out, he has some dudes beat up Smoke. This leads to a strike among the workers, and a break between the boss and his daughter who goes to live with Smoke and his friends. In order to save his job from angry stockholders, the boss offers Smoke a sizable amount of money to end the strike; but when Smoke and the guys spend the money on guns things get out of hand.

Keywords: boss, dog, female-nudity, labor-strike, murder, one-word-title, police, pot-smoking, rifle, sex
Genres: Drama,

The Nitwits (1935)

Actors: Edward Peil Sr. (actor), Gil Perkins (actor), George Magrill (actor), Edgar Dearing (actor), William Gould (actor), Dick Gilbert (actor), Willie Best (actor), Dick Curtis (actor), Donald Haines (actor), Hale Hamilton (actor), Pat Harmon (actor), Arthur Aylesworth (actor), Lew Kelly (actor), Donald Kerr (actor), Jack Perry (actor),

Plot: Johnnie is a would-be songwriter; Newton is a would-be inventor. Both work at a cigar stand in the lobby of an office building. Johnnie wants to sell a song to Winfield Lake, a song publisher and the owner of the building. Lake's secretary, Mary, is Johnnie's sweetheart. When Lake turns up dead, circumstances conspire to make Mary and Newton think that Johnnie is the killer. They conspire again to implicate Mary, who goes to jail. But who really shot Lake? Who is the Black Widow, the blackmailer who had threatened him? The other characters in this wacky murder mystery are: Lake's suspicious wife, a self-satisfied private detective, a seemingly slow-witted janitor, Lake's auditor, a songwriter who thinks Lake is stealing from him and another who thinks everyone is stealing from him. It's up to Newton and his truth machine to reveal the real killer.

Keywords: auditor, bathtub, black-cat, blackmail, boyfriend-girlfriend-relationship, cigar-stand, costume, dancing, dice, elevator
Genres: Comedy, Crime, Mystery,

Quotes:

[first lines]::Male Singer: [singing] I'm not the same at all, / And I can blame it all; / I thought that love was a lark. / There's something strange in me, / The sudden change in me; / I walk around in the dark. / Suddenly I found a star. / You've opened my eyes. / You made me see the light, / The beauty of the night. / You've opened my eyes. / You taught me to see / The sunny side of things. / The heart within me sings. / You brought this to me.

Newton: It's the greatest idea I've ever had. And, boy, you know I've had a lot of them.::Johnnie: Yeah, but none of them ever worked.::Newton: A mere coincidence.

Newton: What kind of snuff you want? The left-handed or the right-handed kind?::Sleepy: I want the sniffin' kind.

Newton: He walked out on us. Remind me to hate him, will you?

Newton: Sonny, you've got the brain of a six-year-old boy. And I'll bet even he was glad to get rid of it.

Newton: I cut his ear from throat to throat.

Newton: I shot him through the heart.::Capt. Jennings: Winfield Lake was shot in the head.::Newton: Well, his heart was in his mouth.

Johnnie: I reiterate...::Newton: So do I!::Johnnie: I reiterate...::Newton: Captain, are you going to let him get away with that? I reiterated first.

[last lines]::Johnnie: How many of these little blessed events do you expect to have?::Mary Roberts: Oh, one or two, but no more than...::[the truth machine zaps her]::Mary Roberts: Three! Four! Five! Six! Seven! Eight! Nine! Ten!::Johnnie: Here, here, shut that thing off!