….the more they are changed.

life walks forward down a path of its own choosing, on its own mission, at its own pace, within its own time, and i’ve known for decades the baseless futility of attempting to steer it solely for my own purposes. sometimes you have roll with what you’re given, and you otherwise work within the gaps to make it your own thing.

and i am somewhere in the gaps, or at least i try to be.

the rains of late have been a fitting backdrop for these days. my life, changing once again, gets redefined, and the world weeps. no, i don’t really think that, but it’s sometimes comforting to think that way, at least until you think about all the people affected by the flooding. so i only think about it that way when the rain is actually coming down, and i’m out in it, getting soaked.

but it’s finally getting cool enough where that’s no longer a comfortable venture.

old habits like this, they die hard. but they are dying, and not just for her. they pass away for lack of my attention, and the lack of their ability to capture it away from her.

it hasn’t been so painful as i feared.