Simon

Carl, a successful Wall Street stockbroker, loses his job and his wife, and finds himself in Harlem, sharing a tenement apartment with his simple brother Simon. Just as Carl's situation couldn't get any worse, a stroke of luck lands Simon a high-paid position with a cable TV network, forcing Carl to come to terms with his brother's success.

Cast

• Harland Williams
• Jason Bateman
• Andrea Bendewald
• Paxton Whitehead
• Patrick Breen
• David Byrd
• Clifton Powell
• Geoffrey Lower
• Al Ruscio
• Terence Paul Winter
• Jasper Cole
• Brandon Maggart
• Pat Millicano
• Elisa Donovan
• Kate Hodge
• Cynthia Madvig
• Judie Aronson
• Eric Menyuk
• Melissa De Sousa
• Shelley Robertson
• Levan Uchaneishvili
• Christopher V. Nelson
• Melora Walters

• Season 1
• Episode 1: Watch This
  USA:10 September 1995...
• Episode 2: Simon Goes on a Date
  USA:17 September 1995...
• Episode 3: Simon Gets a Butler
  USA:24 September 1995...
• Episode 4: Simon Gets Carl a Job
  USA:1 October 1995...
• Episode 5: Simon's Ship Comes In
  USA:8 October 1995...
• Episode 6: Simon Says Surprise!
  USA:15 October 1995...
• Episode 7: Simon Has Faulty Pants
  USA:29 October 1995...
• Episode 8: Simon Plays Carnegie Hall
  USA:5 November 1995...
• Episode 9: Simon Hunts a Rat
  USA:12 November 1995...
• Episode 10: Simon and the She-Devil
  USA:19 November 1995...
• Episode 11: Simon Saves a Restaurant
  USA:26 November 1995...
• Episode 12: You Can Run from Christmas, But You Can't Hide
  USA:17 December 1995...
• Episode 13: Simon Kicks Ass
  USA:7 January 1996...
• Episode 14: Simon Takes the Helm
  USA:14 January 1996...
• Episode 15: Simon Sinks the Putts
  USA:4 February 1996...
• Episode 16: Simon Gets the Goal
  USA:18 February 1996...
• Episode 17: Simon Night Fever
  USA:25 February 1996...
• Episode 18: Simon Makes the Split
  USA:1996...
• Episode 19: Simon Looks a Gift Horse in the Mouth
  USA:1996...
• Episode 20: Simon Saves Tinky Town
  USA:1996...
• Episode 21: Simon Goes to the Dogs
  USA:1996...

• Simon - Joan Armatrading
• Simon - Lifehouse
• Simon - Phantom Planet
• Simon - Impossibles
• Simon - Dr. Dooom
• Simon - Zolof The Rock & Roll Destroyer
• The 59th Street Bridge Song (Feelin' Groovy) - Simon
• Last Night I Had The Strangest Dream - Simon
• The Boxer - Simon

He's from Ohio
Lives with his mother
He loves the woman
Who loves his brother
What can he do now?
As she walks across the floor
Here comes his brother
Walkin' sideways through the door
Was the same at school
He played the fool
Or took a back seat
While Simon ruled
He played by himself a lot
And people called him shy
His mother said, "Be more friendly"
And he would ask her, why
"Has Simon got to be more friendly
And do I have to be like him?"
And mother said, "No son, be yourself
Be more like I tell you, you gotta be like me
Be like I tell you, be like me"
Now when Kathleen
She came on the scene
He saw her first
And then Simon spoke
He took her to places
That completely turned her head
Gave her practical things
Like diamonds for her neck
Has Simon got to be so friendly?
Sometimes he makes me want to kill
Look at 'em dancing
While he's standin' by the wall
There's gonna be trouble
When the time to leave is called
And Simon won't be feelin' friendly
He'll be lyin' too close to the floor
And mother said, "Oh, son, be yourself
Be more like I tell you, you gotta be like me
Be like I tell you, you gotta be yourself

Catch your breath hit the wall scream out loud as you start to crawl back in
Your cage the only place where they will leave you alone 'cause the weak will
Seek the weaker until they've broken them could you get it back again
Would it be the same fulfillment to their lack of strength
At your expense left you with no defense they tore it down and i have
Felt the same as you, I've felt the same as you, I've felt the same
Locked inside the only place where you feel sheltered where you feel safe
You lost yourself in your search to find something else to hide behind
The fearful always preyed upon your confidence
Did they see the consequence when they pushed you around
The arrogant build kingdoms made of the different ones
Breaking them 'til they've become just another crown
Refuse to feel, Anything at all refuse to slip, Refuse to
Fall can't be weak, Can't stand still you watch your back,
'Cause no one will you don't know why they had to go
This far traded your worth for these scars for your only
Company don't believe the lies that they told to you
Not one word was true you're alright, You're alright,

time and time again
the words are messy and hard to read
(you should take your time)
i'll give it a rest
but i've got plenty of pages left
the cold unfeeling pupils
are staring back at me
because they've been programmed
to turn on and off their pixels
flash
the world empire strengthens
as voltage powers all
we shall fall
as the world goes on the internet
leave it up to me
and i'll see everything comes out well
(you should save your file)
i'll be finished soon
but if the system crashes
i'll resume
the hard drive has an ego
the circuit boards have won
digits too
but did you know
we'll let them decide
now

he wakes himself up with a monkey wrench, straightens out
his spine,
he does it all the time, everytime.
no matter how hard he may scrub, he's just rubbing it in.
he washes his hair with a bar of soap, but it doesnt get
it clean.
its like a smack in the face, or a shot in the arm,
he doesnt appear but he doesnt do any harm.
he'd rather just sustain in his comfortable routine,
his comfortable routine and a mad magazine
he's got a ball point pen tattoo on the skin streched
across his bones.
theres nothing worse than being in a crowded room,
and feeling all alone
he's got a ball point pen tattoo on the skin streched
across his bones.
theres nothing worse than being in a crowded room,
and feeling all alone
sits on the curb from dusk till dawn, he's peeling off
his core,
ripped up and torn
its better living through chemistry, its an escape,

[Dr. Dooom]
Yeah~! Simon
I'm talkin to you
This motherfucker right here's for you
You got a lot of motherfuckers comin up on your show
And you try to act like you motherfuckin judgin every-
fuckin-body
You ain't no-motherfuckin-body
Fuck American Idol, Simon and his whack ass!
He can kiss the bottom of my foot and Paula can kiss my
black ass
That show is for no pro, it's for a jackass
I piss on the ratings with a scuba diving tank with a
German mask
The type of guy to defecate on jazz and bluegrass
Paint your face black I guarantee all your assets
you'll leave with a blue ass
I'm that insurance guy that come with a tow truck, when
your Maybach crash
These microphone niggaz with big budgets is trash
Lassie type niggaz who don't bark back, they sneak bite
niggaz
I'm ready for combat with poison down on the floor
You come up and test my shit like a rat
You pick a spot where you think you fuckin hot
and watch me wipe my ass wit'cha baseball cap
I piss on your pants from the Gap
Your bitch be fucked up with Noxzema on her face with a
headwrap
That shit your spit to everybody is head crap
Fuck with Franklin Fred rap
You're just a man sneakin back through a crack in rap
Flip your fuckin toupee like a flapjack
You a sap in rap, that bitch ain't got no fat ass in
the magazines
That's mad flat, she's just hyped up with a corny
basketball ass
That's mad fat, in fact she's a DVD homeless cat
Somebody I wouldn't want to dance to my track
Or put on some pants to my track
How you gon' stand there? You better be in a b-boy
stance to my track
Everybody flippin over a bullshit thong in your
buttcrack
Now I'm hyper toned up with a Corona
She ain't got gas in her ass to get from Corona
She's a roommate livin on a budget from a loaner
A grown-ass woman flyin back and forth to a yellow
Toyota
Fuckin with some cornbread ten carat gold chain nigga
that look like Yoda
How the fuck you gon' represent plastic surgery?
Yo' ass, movin in with the club promoter
How long you gon' do that shit 'til you get older and
bolder?
With strength from the butt needles
I'm that nigga that's low-key in the spotlight
Watchin your peoples, on some real life
I'm surreal trife, watchin these girls out in Vegas
Askin Carmelo Anthony to turn on they Con Edison lights
Yeah~! We rule
Dr. Dooom is in the fuckin room
Now you take that motherfucker personal
I want y'all to cover your ass
I'ma be there! Motherfucker I'ma be there
Right in the back of your fuckin dandruff, right on top
of your hair

Simon was an engineer
Scientific stratosphere
He lost his mind long ago
And no one knew
Accumulating cult-like literature and such
Writing he wrote all his friends of what he learned of cults
Peter was an architect
One night when he went to bed
He heard knocking at his door
So he looked out
Outside he saw something crawl into his house
What now!?
Hallucinating he hunted then he dressed for work
Simon, Peter

Slow down, you move too fast
You got to make the morning last
Just kicking down the cobblestones
Looking for fun and feeling groovy
Ba da da da da da da, feeling groovy
Hello lamppost, what'cha knowing
I've come to watch your flowers growin'
Ain't cha got no rhymes for me?
Doo-it in doo doo, feeling groovy
Ba da da da da da da, feeling groovy
I got no deeds to do
No promises to keep
I'm dappled and drowsy and ready to sleep
Let the morning time drop all its petals on me
Life I love you, all is groovy

Last night I had the strangest dream
I ever dreamed before
I dreamed the world had all agreed
To put an end to war
I dreamed I saw a mighty room
The room was filled with men
And the paper they were signing said
They'd never fight again
And when the papers all were signed
And a million copies made
They all joined hands and bowed their heads
And grateful prayers were prayed
And the people in the streets below
Were dancing round and round
And guns and swords and uniforms
Were scattered on the ground
Last night I had the strangest dream
I ever dreamed before
I dreamed the world had all agreed
To put an end to war

I am just a poor boy
Though my story seldom told
I have squandered my resistance
For a pocketful of mumbles, such are promises
All lies and jest
Still, a man hears what he wants to hear
And disregards the rest
When I left my home and my family
I was no more than a boy
In the company of strangers
In the quiet of the railway station, running scared
Laying low, seeking out the poorer quarters
Where the ragged people go
Looking for the places
Only they would know
Lie-la-lie..
Asking only workman's wages
I come looking for a job but I get no offers
Just a come- on from the whores on seventh avenue
I do declare
There were times when I was so lonesome
I took some comfort there
Ooh la la la la la la
Lie-la-lie...
then I'm laying out my winter clothes
And wishing I was gone
Going home
Where the New York City winters aren't bleeding me
Leading me
Going home
Lie-la-lie...
In the clearing stands a boxer
And a fighter by his trade
And he carries the reminders
Of every glove that laid him down
And cut him 'til he cried out
In his anger and his shame
"I am leaving I am leaving"
But the fighter still remains
Lie-la-lie...