This is Kaiden during his first week and also includes more info about what led up to Kaiden's birth, etc. Kaiden was put straight onto CPAP after birth to help him with his breathing but was transfreed onto a ventilator after a little while because he was needing a bit more help. A few days after Kaiden was born we were taken into a little room by a doctor where he told us what was wrong with Kaiden. We were told he had an enlarged liver and spleen, 2 bleeds within his brain which had caused calcifications, jaundice, extremely low platelets (his platelet count was 9000, a normal babies is between 150 000 and 200 000) and low birth weight. He told us that Kaiden had Congenital Cytomegalovirus and rattled off a list of complications Kaiden would likely end up with- Cerebal Palsy, Autism, Mental Retardation, Blindness, Developmental Delay and Deafness. I went home to Google it and what i found made the tears stream down my face uncontrolably... I saw pictures of children who couldnt walk, talk, eat, stand, sit, crawl, etc. I was devastated, how could this happen to me? I had been so careful throughout my entire pregnancy. It just didnt seem fair that this could happen to me when i had been so "good" during pregnancy and yet there are drug addicts out there who have perfectly normal, healthy babies. My world fell apart, i started having panic attacks and couldnt sleep very well. I had one day where i just couldnt bring myself to look at Kaiden, i was so scared, so disappointe and so devastated. All i could think was that ill never have a "normal" child, he'll never run around and play and he'll be teased his whole life. I was discharged after 5 days and we had to drive home all alone, leaving Kaiden in the hands of strangers... I did however get my first hold that day though. I remember thinking that he was heavier than id thought he would be... Christian (Kaiden's Dad) wasnt able to hold him because he had a cold.

• published: 24 Jul 2011
• views: 6448
• author: calakihata