You are listening to the phone ringÂ
Like a church bell sounding out the hour.Â
And the ringing cuts the silenceÂ
Like a knife leaving little pieces left of your life.Â
You are watching the night shadows grow tall
Swallowing you in terror like the foot on the wall.Â
Shake me down to the soil of a dream.Â
Take me whole and take me clean.Â
Take me from this reality cold and mean.Â
Cold and mean.Â
I can't answer I can't speak to anyone
Not until I witness the next rising of the sun.Â
It's this darkness it's like a lead weight in my shoe.
I couldn't rise to answer even if I wanted to.Â
Shake me down to the soil of a dream.Â
Take me whole and take me clean.Â
Take me from this reality cold and mean.Â
Shake me down to the soil of a dream.Â
Take me whole and take me clean.
Take me from this reality cold and mean.Â
Shake me down to the soil of a dream.
Take me whole and take me clean.Â
Take me from this reality cold and mean.Â
Cold and mean.
i love us both but i don't feel good
so i keep pulling over
and looking under
the hood
i love us both but i'm at wit's end
where does your compromise begin
and mine end?
i love us both but what
world's it gonna be?
the one according to you
or the one according to me?
i don't feel good so ...
now do my problems include
talks with doctors who don't even understand
about food?
i think in ancient china they kinda
figured out how the body works
but our culture is just a roughneck
teenage jerk
with a bottle of pills
and a bottle of booze
and a full round of ammunition
and nothing to lose
and is it really the best we can do
to arm wrestle over whose world it's gonna be?
(the one according to you
or the one according to me)
i love us both and i'll see ya
if you'll see me
So that's how you found me
Rain falling around me
Lookin down at a worm
With a long way to go
And the traffic was hissing by
And i was homesick
And i was high
I was surrounded by a language
In which i could say only hello
And thank you very much
But you spoke so i could understand
And i drew a treasure map on your hand
And you were no picnic
You were no prize
But you had just enough pathos
To keep me hypnotized
Hypnotized
The map led to an island
In a sea of store-bought dreams
Where soulless singers sang
Over beats built by machines
And lovely girls were hovering
Above my head like gulls
With their long slender necks
And their delicate skulls
And i was no picnic
I was no prize
But i had just enough sweetness
To keep you hypnotized
Hypnotized
So that's how you found me
Rain falling around me
Lookin down at a worm
I hate you sometimes
But I love to be your queen
You are my muse
Got me smoking nicotine
I watch you sometimes
From oh so far away
But I can't forget you
Or anything you said
You sang that song in my ear
And it tickled those tiny hairs
Love is a puzzle
Some pieces they adjoin
It's not like that with us
But I keep flipping that coin
I watch you sometimes
From oh so far away
But I can't forget you
Or anything you say
You sang that song in my ear
Millennium theater
Get out there and buy that water and gas
Ramadan orange alert
Everybody put on your gas mask
First leak it out about the president
Then stand up and shout "impeachment"
Pulling coat tails out from under that little V.P.
Before he has a chance to get in the driver's seat
Millennium spectacle
Everybody put on a show
Slip a little prince in the back door
21st century here we go
Digital whiplash
So many formats so little time
While out in TV nation
Under darkening skies
The resistance is just waiting
To be organized
Millennium theater
Chief justice is for sale
Yucca mountain goddesses
Their tears they form a trail
Trickle down Israel
Patriarchies realign
The ice caps melt
And New Orleans bides her time
New Orleans bides her time
Ladies and gentlemen
Welcome to tonight's show
The millennium theater
Asks that you not smoke
Please turn off your cell phones
Step up and forfeit your frontal lobe
To the sexed up stroll of celebrity
Never mind that the nanoseconds in between
Are some of the darkest darkness that you've ever seen
Keep your eye on my finger
And listen to the sound of my voice
Get your subliminal decree
And your false security
Be all that you can be
Be all that you can be
In hospitals and schools
Airports and banks and bars
Big ones on street corners
Little ones driving by in cars
And glowing through countless
Bedroom curtains at night
That 30k tone
And that pale blue light saying
Daddy knows best
Yes, this is the news
In 90 second segments officially produced
And aired again and again and again
By the little black and white pawns
Of the network yes men
While the stars are going out
And the stripes are getting bent
And cancer, the great teacher
Has been opening schools
Downstream from every factory
Still, everywhere fools are
Squinting into microscopes
Researching cells
Trying to figure out a way
That we can all live in hell
Well, step back, look up
You'll see I'm dimming the sun
But you won't, will you?
Oh, that's a good little one
'cause daddy knows best
Yes, this is the news
In 90 second segments officially produced
And aired again and again and again
By the little black and white pawns
Of the network yes men
While the stars are going out
And the stripes are getting bent
The stars are going out
When the joy had left your body
And you were locked into your own pulse
You used to love to sit by the water
And watch it lapping on the rocks
And every time you put your feet in
You cry out and you pray
But its all downhill from here, baby
So naturally, I can't stay
First you roll your eyes to heaven
Say you've never had love so divine
But it will go from more than ever
To not enough in no time
You will push and
You will push until
You push me away
I hear you cry out for your water
I know you'll curse it someday
I guess for me there's been few
Who've walked up smiling and drawn a line
Between so far and from now on
Yes a big glowing life time
And I've been disappointed
I've been heart-broken
I too have loved from afar
But we are 78% water
Even our pumping hearts
I will lean into you
and you can be the wind
I will open up my mouth
and you can come rushing in
you can rush in so hard
and make it so I can't breathe
I breathe too much anyway
I can do that anyday
I just wish I knew who you were
I wish you'd make yourself known
probably you don't know I'm her
the woman you want to call home
I'll keep my ear to the wall
I'll keep my eye on the door
'cause I've heard all my own jokes
and they're just not funny anymore
I laugh too much anyway
I can do that anyday
have you ever been bent or pulled
have you ever been played like strings
if I could see you I could strum you
I could break you
make you sing
but I guess you can't really see the wind
it just comes in and fills the space
and everytime something moves
you think that you have seen its face
and I've always got my guitar to play
Come home and my guitar
Has nothin to say to me
I recoil from all my friends
And then I'm in misery
Been so long since I've been held
Really since I was his
Probably just need to be held
That's probably all it is
Course, then I think of my dad
Who time travels mostly now
Back to when he was free
And holding out hope somehow
Who sits all day in a line
Of wheelchairs against a wall
Inventing ways to play out time
Like us all
Like us all
To all the people out there tonight
Who are comforting themselves
If you should happen to see my light
You can stop and ring my bell
I'm just sittin here in this sty
Strewn with half written songs
Taking one breath at a time
Nothin much going on
Nothin much going on
Little flashing zero
On my answering machine
Rats scratching at my brain
Brain shuffling its feet
Yes I have my father's heart
It may or may not keep on trying
Can't really tell you what it is
Keeps me this side of that dark line
But I'm not there to take care of him
And I'm not here to take care of me
I'm going outside to watch the house burn down
Across the street
I'm going outside to watch the house burn down
Across the street
To all the people out there tonight
Who are comforting themselves
If you should happen to see my light
You can stop and ring my bell
I'm just sitting here in this sty
Strewn with half written songs
Taking one breath at a time
Nothin much going on
Thirty-three years go by
And not once do you come home
To find a man sitting in your bedroom
That is
A man you don't know
Who came a long way to deliver one very specific message:
Lock your back door, you idiot
However invincible you imagine yourself to be
You are wrong
Thirty-three years go by
And you loosen the momentum of teenage nightmares
Your breasts hang like a woman's
And you don't jump at shadows anymore
Instead you may simply pause to admire
Those that move with the grace of trees
Dancing past streetlights
And you walk through your house without turning on lamps
Sure of the angle from door to table
From table to staircase
Sure of the number of steps
Seven to the landing
Two to turn right
Then seven more
Sure you will stroll serenely on the moving walkway of memory
Across your bedroom
And collapse with a sigh onto your bed
Shoes falling
Thunk thunk
Onto the floor
And there will be no strange man
Suddenly all that time sitting there
Sitting there on what must be the prize chair
In your collection of uncomfortable chairs
With a wild look in his eyes
And hands that you cannot see
Holding what?
You do not know
So sure are you of the endless drumming rhythm of your isolation
That you are painfully slow to adjust
If only because
Yours is not that genre of story
Still and again, life cannot muster the stuff of movies
No bullets shattering glass
Instead fear sits patiently
Fear almost smiles when you finally see him
Though you have kept him waiting for thirty-three years
And now he has let himself in
And he has brought you fistfuls of teenage nightmares
Though you think you see, in your naivete
That he is empty handed
And this brings you great relief
At the time
New as you are, really, to the idea that
Even after you've long since gotten used to the parameters
They can all change
While you're out one night having a drink with a friend
Some big hand may be turning a big dial
Switching channels on your dreams
Until you find yourself lost in them
And watching your daily life with the sound off
And of course having cautiously turned down the flame under your eyes
There are more shadows around everything
Your vision a dim flashlight that you have to shake all the way to the outhouse
Your solitude elevating itself like the spirit of the dead
Presiding over your supposed repose
Not really sleep at all
Just a sleeping position and a series of suspicious sounds
A clanking pipe
A creaking branch
The footfalls of a cat
All of this and maybe
The swish of the soft leather of your intruder's coat
As you walk him step by step back to the door
Having talked him down off the ledge of a very bad idea
Soft leather, big feet, almond eyes
The kinds of details the police officer would ask for later
With his clipboard
And his pistol
I was born to two immigrants
Who knew why they were here
They were happy to pay taxes
For the schools and roads
Happy to be here
They took it seriously
The second job of citizenry
My mother went campaigning door to door
And holding to her hand was me
I was just a girl in a room full of women
Licking stamps and laughing
I remember the feeling of community brewing
Of democracy happening
But I suppose like anybody
I had to teach myself to see
All that stuff that got lost
On its way to church
All that stuff that got lost
On its way to school
All that stuff that got lost
On its way to the house of my family
All that stuff that was not lost on me
Teach myself to see each of us
Through the lens of forgiveness
Like we're stuck with each other (god forbid!)
Teach myself to smile and stop and talk
To a whole other color kid
Teach myself to be new in an instant
Like the truth is accessible at any time
Teach myself it's never really one or the other
There's a paradox in every paradigm
I was just a girl in a room full of women
Licking stamps and laughing
I remember the feeling of community brewing
In order to
Say thank you to you
I must do it intentionally
But tonight with every breath
I can feel my death
Sure as I can feel my knees
You were my modulation
So that's what you will always be
We took each other higher
We set each other free
Course, neither of us were wearing helmets
And our blood was just everywhere
And when the morphine kicked in later
The censors threw their hands up in despair
And that's when the truth came marching in
And promptly pulled the plug
But you were better than any drug
You were better than any drug
In order to
Say thank you to you
I must do it intentionally
But tonight with every breath
I can feel my death
Sure as I can feel my knees
You were my modulation
And that's what you will always be
We took each other higher
Then we set each other free
You wandered in
To the forest
Following that shiny red ball
And by the time you looked up
You were lost
But that's not all
You confused your journey
With my journey
You tried to nail me
Like minerva to your bow
But my job here
Is not to deliver you
But to hold a mirror
Till you see how
Oh say can you see me
Oh say can you see me
Oh say can you see me over here?
You want me
To tell you a story
But I am weary
Of entertaining
I'll have more to say when I'm happy
'Course, then I'll have less to sing
But there's no me
Left for me
No incidental time of day
No wild adventures
Except in darkness
So dark I'd rather not say
Oh say can you see me
Oh say can you see me
Oh say can you see me over here?
Over here
There's really no hope for me
And that three second rule
Somethin gets dropped
And still I'm the slowest damn fool
Slow to realize what's really going on
Slow to know in a moment
Who or what has gone wrong
I wanna tighten down on the lag time
Your consonants were buzzing
Around your head like flies
Your true colors were showing
And your shape and your size
You were drinking your way though it
I was shrinking right there inside of my clothes
My eventual twenty/twenty
Arms crossed
Tapping her toe
I gotta tighten down on the lag time
Survivors are part turtle
We are part potato bug
We know enough to go fetal
'Til it's still up above
And you gotta crawl through the desert
Between when you hear it
And when you can play it with your hands
Just to rendezvous with whoever you are
When you finally understand
I gotta tighten down on the lag time
I wanna tighten down on the lag time
That's just my cowgirl alter-ego
Riding on her bar room bull
Dripping with the sweat of irony
As the cowboys whoop and drool
Shooting glances at the mirror
To see if her scar is showing
She is truly going nowhere tonight
Lecherous old lady wanna-be
Much too young and shy
Flailing her whole life
Just thinking she can teach herself to fly
Vehement romantic
Frantic for forever right now
But forever's going nowhere tonight
Sick of goading her self-loathing
She thinks, I think I'd better leave
'Course whiskey makes me smarter
And I'm happy as can be
But please excuse me darlin
It's not you
It's me
And there's a dusty old dust storm on mars, they say
So tonight you can't see it too clear
Still I stood in line to look through their telescope
Looked like a distant ship light
As seen from a foggy pier
And I know that I was warned
Still it was not what I hoped
Yes I know that I was warned
Still it was not what I hoped
I think I'm done gunnin to get closer
To some imagined bliss
I gotta knuckle down
And just be ok with this
I'm gonna knuckle down
Just be ok with this
'Course that star struck girl is already someone I miss
I swear some stuff you just see better from further away
And I think I communicate best now, the less I say
And I can't dance if the band can't play
And the vibe is going nowhere tonight
'Cuz somewhere between Hollywood and its pretty happiness
And an anguish so infinite it's anybody's guess
Is a place where people are all teachers
And this just one long class
And that ass will get you nowhere tonight
There's a dusty old dust storm on mars they say
So tonight you can't see it too clear
Still I stood in line to look through their telescope
Looked like a distant ship light
As seen from a foggy pier
And I know that I was warned
Still it was not what I hoped
Yeah I know that I was warned
Still it was not what I hoped
I think I'm done gunnin to get closer
To some imagined bliss
I gotta knuckle down
Just be ok with this
Gotta knuckle down
Just be ok with this
'Course that star struck girl
You cried and you cried and you cried wolf
So it took me a minute to understand
That you really were hurt bad
That day you deeply cut your hand
And then that look that you gave me
Sent me rushing through guilt's door
I'd already started to feel callous
Like I really should care more
It was my work that kept me upright
So you called it a crutch
While I drifted off
Into dreams of such and such
And by the time we'd come full circle
We knew exactly what to do
Just keep looking at the triangle
Instead of what it's pointing to
But you can't will yourself happy
You can't will your cunt wet
You can't keep standing at the station
Pretending you're being met
You can't wear a sign that says 'yours'
When that ain't what you get
It flows and flows away from me
My love is a stream
Your love is a vaudeville show
So charming and obscene
We both had our moments
We both had our fun
And then I hated to prove 'em all right
All those who said I'd run
But you can't will yourself happy
You can't will your cunt wet
You can't keep standing at the station
Pretending you're being met
You can't keep wearing a sign that says 'yours'
There you were day after day
Six feet
Twenty feet
Two feet away
Right in my pocket singin me a song
Makin my heart race all day long
And we talked it out and we talked it down
But your eyes were not listening
And my ears were looking around
For another song to sing
But it was you each time
It was you
The answer to each moment must be yes
And the question... can you live with that?
Becomes the test
So you weigh it against that aching in your chest
And that secretly relentless emptiness
And you talk it out and you talk it down
But your eyes are not listening
And my ears are running around
Looking for another song to sing
But it is you each time
It is you
So my heart finally broke
It was so long bent
And it broke in three places
When it finally went
It wanted only to say what it meant
So it suffered every punishment
Now it lives in a shack outside of town
And only the wolves are out there listening
And in her dreams they chase her down
Their moonlit eyes are glistening
And it is you each time
As dolls go I am broken
And you could just let that get us off the hook
But from under the umbrella of the unspoken
I see you giving me that look
Baby, you're right as rain about the benefits
But you might be wrong about the costs
And it feeds my heart that you came looking for me
But I'm thinkin I need to stay lost
So I won't say I saw you fibbing
Or jump-jigging across the floor
I won't say you walked me to my car
And draped your arm on my open door
I know my mind is made of matter
But I need to know exactly
What is the matter at it's core?
Because my heart is just a muscle
And simply put, it's sore
So never mind about the benefits
And never mind about the costs
That don't change the basic premises
In which I am surely lost
So I won't say I saw you fibbing
Or jump-jigging across the floor
I won't say you walked me to my car
Life knocked me off my platforms
So I pulled out my first pair of boots
Bought on the street at astor place
Before New York was run by suits
And I suited up for the long walk
Back to myself
Closer to the ground now
With sorrow
I am an all powerful amazon warrior
Not just some sniveling girl
So no matter what I think I need
You know I can't possibly
Have a need in this world
Come and come for that sweet sweetness
I'll be your never ending vending machine
I could never need to be alone
Never need to be my own
As much as you need your queen
I know men are delicate
Origami creatures
Who need women to unfold them
Hold them when they cry
But I am tired of being your savior
And I am tired of telling you why
And since when did this me me me
Become the be all and end all of me
Oh listen to you talk to me
Long time love has got to breathe, babe
You got to let it ebb and flow
If you want a ball to bounce
You gotta let it go
Just let it go
I know men are delicate
Origami creatures
Who need women to unfold them
Hold them when they cry
But I am tired of being your savior
I got pulled over in west Texas
so they could look inside my car
he said are you an american citizen
I said
yes sir
so far
they made sure I wasn't smuggling
someone in from Mexico
someone willing to settle for america
'cause there's nowhere else to go
and every state line
there's a new set of laws
and every police man
comes equipped with extended claws
there's a thousand shades of white
and a thousand shades of black
but the same rule always applies
smile pretty, and watch your back
I broke down in Louisiana
and I had to thumb a ride
got in the first car that pulled over
you can't be picky in the middle of the night
he said
baby, do you like to fool around
baby, do you like to be touched
I said
maybe some other time
fuck you very much
and every state line
there's a new set of laws
and every police man
comes equipped with extended claws
there's a thousand shades of white
and a thousand shades of black
but the same rule always applies
smile pretty, and watch your back
I'm in the middle of alabama
they stare at me where ever I go
I don't think they like my haircut
I don't think they like my clothes
I can't wait to get back to New York City
where at least when I walk down the street
nobody ever hesitates
to tell me exactly what they think of me
and every state line
there's a new set of laws
and every police man
comes equipped with extended claws
there's a thousand shades of white
and a thousand shades of black
but the same rule always applies
smile pretty, and watch your back
a little town in pennsylvania
there was snow on the ground
I parked in an empty lot
where there was no one else around
but I guess I was taking up too much space
as I was trying to get some sleep
'cause an officer came by anyway
and told me I had to leave
and every state line
there's a new set of laws
and every police man
comes equipped with extended claws
there's a thousand shades of white
and a thousand shades of black
but the same rule always applies
What's the point
Of all this pointless proximity
If you won't talk
Take me for a walk
Through a little story
All these years
Have made me sick to tears
Of such mysteries
Why should I keep you
If you won't keep me
Company?
Til I get to know you
I ain't gonna show you nothing
Wordlessly
Whatchoo think this is?
You think that that grin
Gonna get you in
Where you wanna be?
Do I have to stand under your little cloud
Just to get near you
Baby can't you help this little girl
Not to fear you
Why don't you just talk
Take me for a walk
Through a little story
And tell me
Why should I keep you
If you won't keep me
You broke me bodily
The heart ain't the half of it
And I'll never learn to laugh at it
In my good natured way
In fact I'm laughing less in general
But I learned a lot at my own funeral
And I knew you'd be the death of me
So I guess that's the price I pay
I'm trying to make new memories
In cities where we fell in love
My head just barely above
The darkest water I've ever known
You had me in that cage
You had me jumpin through those hoops for you
Still, I think I'd stoop for you
Stoop for your eyes alone
From that bomb shell moon in yet another lovely dress
To the deep mahogany sheen of a roach
I am trying to take an appreciative approach
To life in your wake
I focus on the quiet now
And occasionally I'll fall asleep somehow
And emptiness has its solace
I said Venice
You heard Vegas
Now I say either way
Baby let's go
I get so shaky
And I just can't shake it
I bliss like this
I'm one of those
But I don't wanna wear you
Wear you like a band-aid
Wave you like a ticket
Out of my good grief
I just wanna know you
Know you like I know my garden
What you smell like when you're bloomin
What lives underneath
Deep down underneath
Way down underneath
We do a whole lotta laughin
At the shyness that surrounds us
I do a whole lotta lookin
Somewhere else
I don't need to look
No, I can just feel you
Besides every time I see you
It just forces me to look at myself
Cuz I get so shaky
And I just can't shake it
I bliss like this
I'm one of those
And I said Venice
And you heard Vegas
But now I say either way
Let's go
More and more there is this animal
Looking out through my eyes
At all the traffic on the road to nowhere
At all the shiny stuff around to buy
At all the wires in the air
At all the people shopping
For the same blank stare
At america the drastic
That isolated geographic
That's become infested with millionaires
When you grow up surrounded
By willful ignorance
You have to believe
Mercy has its own country
And that it's round and borderless
And then you have to grow wings
And rise above it all
Like there
Where that hawk is circling
Above that strip mall
More and more there is this animal
Looking out through my eyes
Seeing that animals only take from this world
What they need to survive
But she is prowling through all the religions of men
Seeing that time and time and time again
Their gods have made them
Special and above
Nature's law
And the respect thereof
And I think when you grow up surrounded
By willful ignorance
You have to believe that mercy has its own country
And that it's round and borderless
And then you just grow wings
And rise above it all
Like there where that hawk is circling
Above that strip mall
Ask any eco-system
Harm here is harm there
And there and there
And aggression begets aggression
It's a very simple lesson
That long preceded any king of heaven
And there's this brutal imperial power
That my passport says I represent
But it will never represent where my heart lives
Only vaguely where it went
Cuz I know when you grow up surrounded
By willful ignorance
You learn that mercy has its own country
And that it's round and borderless
And then you just grow wings
And rise above it all
Like there
Where that hawk is circling
What dreams cause me
To abandon my pillow each night?
Push away each of them, in fact
Since there always seem to be more than one
Then wake to aching stiff neck twisted
Tits and face smashed against the mattress
Legs and arms akimbo
Like the high pitched body of a jumper
Waiting for her chalk outline
Standing just outside
The circle of light
Avoiding the pool cues
Watching the game
Waiting for you
Hanging in the doorway
Like smoke
Like mistletoe
This is where I'll be
Whenever you come or go
I'm gonna roll you over
Gonna peel you back
Expose your tender center
Watch the juices flow from the crack
Gonna peel you out of your protective shell
Or I might have to break right in there and raise some hell
I don't have no grand plan for you and me
Just nothing is impossible
Nothing is unlikely
I'm just riding the tide
Nothing more
And it's bound to take me out some
Before it brings me back to shore
When you look in the mirror
Do you see visions of your past
I ain't got time for halfway
I ain't got time for halfassed
When I look in the mirror
I see my days to come
And my face is just a trace
Of where I'm coming from
Just outside the circle of light
Is where you've been living
Your whole life
You've got to jump into the center
And launch your attack
And then you've got to crawl back
In the corners
Where it's really black
life in the circus ain't easy
but the folks on the outside don't know
the tent goes up and the tent comes down
and all that they see is the show
and the ladies on the horses look so pretty
and the lions are lookin real mad
and some of the clowns are happy
and some of the clowns are sad
but underneath
there's another expression
that the makeup isn't making
life under the big top
it's about freedom
it's about faking
there's an art to the laughter
there's a science
and there's a lot of love
and compliance
welcoem to the freakshow
here we go...
we live to hear the slack-jawed gasping
we live under a halo of held breath
and when the children raise up a giant shield
of laughter, it's like they're fending off death
and we can make somethig bigger
then anyone of us alone
and then the clowns will take off their makeup
and the people will go home
but life on the outside ain't easy
no sequins, no elephants,
no parading around
yeah, the tent goes up
and the tent comes down
and they're stuck in this fucking town
you need a lot of love and compliance
welcome to the freakshow
you were fresh off the boat from virginia
i had a year in new york city under my belt
we met in a dream
we were both 19
i remember where we were standing
i remember how it felt
2 little girls growing out of their training bras
this little girl breaks furniture, this little girl breaks laws
2 girls together
just a little less alone
this little girl cries wee wee
all the way home
you were always half crazy, now look at you baby
make about as much sense as a nursery rhyme
love is a piano dropped out a four story window
and you were in the wrong place at the wrong time
i don't like your girlfriend, yeah i don't like her
never seen one of your lovers do you so much harm
i loved you first and you know i would prefer
if she didn't empty her syringes into your arm
here comes little naked me padding up to the bathroom door
to find little naked you slumped on the bathroom floor
so i guess i'll just stand here with my back against the wall
while you distilled your whole life down to a 911 call
so now you bring me your bruises
so i can oh and ah at the display
maybe i'm supposed to make one of my famous jokes that makes everything ok
maybe i'm supposed to be the handsome prince who rides up and unties your hands
or maybe i'm supposed to be the furrow-browed friend who thinks she understands
cradling the softest, warmest part of you in my hand
feels like a little baby bird fallen from the nest
i think that your body is something i understand
i think that i'm happy, i think that i'm blessed
i've got a lack of inhibition
i've got a loss of perspective
i've had a little bit to drink
and it's making me think
that i can jump ship and swim
that the ocean will hold me
that there's got to be more
than this boat i'm in
'cuz they can call me crazy if i fail
all the chance that i need
is one-in-a-million
and they can call me brilliant
if i succeed
gravity is nothing to me, moving at the speed of sound
i'm just going to get my feet wet
until i drown
and i teeter between tired
and really, really tired
im wiped and im wired but i guess its just as well
because i built my own empire
out of car tires and chicken wire
and i'm queen of my own compost heap
and i'm getting used to the smell
and i've got a lack of information
but i got a little revelation
and i'm climbing up on the railing
trying not to look down
i'm going to do my best swan dive
in the shark-infested waters
i'm gonna pull out my tampon
and start splashing around
'cuz i don't care if they eat me alive
i've got better thing to do than survive
i've got a memory of your warm skin in my hand
and i've got a vision of blue sky and dry land
i'm cradling the hardest, heaviest part of me in my hand
the ship is pitching and heaving, my limbs are bobbing and weaving
and i think this is what i understand
i just need a little vaccination for my far-away vacation
i'm going to go ahead boldly because a little bird told me
that jumping is easy, that falling is fun
up until you hit the sidewalk, shivering, stunned
and they can call me crazy if i fail
all the chance that i need
is one-in-a-million
and they can call me brilliant
if i succeed
gravity is nothing to me
moving at the speed of sound
i'm just gonna get my feet wet
sitting in my glasshouse
while your ghost is sleeping down the hall
watching the little birds fly
kamikaze missions into the walls
think i'm gonna stay in today
sit on my couch and watch them fall
life just keeps getting harder
keeps getting harder to hide
darker it is around me
easier it is to see inside
and outside the glass
the whole world is magnified
and its barely an inch
from here to the other side
guess that push has come to this
so i guess this must be shove
but before you throw those stones at me
tell me what's your house made of
and before you'll know what i'm doing wrong
you're going to have to get in line
for the purposes of this song
lets just say i'm doing fine
sure, i'm doing fine
trapped in my glasshouse
crowd has been gathering since dawn
make a pot of coffee
while catastrophe awaits me out on the lawn
think i'm going to stay in today
pretend like i don't know what's going on
seems that push has come to this
so i guess this must be shove
but before you throw those stones at me
tell me what's your house made of
and before you'll know what i'm doing wrong
you're going to have to get in line
so for the purposes of this song
lets just say i'm doing fine
sure, i'm doing fine
sitting in my glass house
some guy tried to rub up against me
in a crowded subway car
some guy tried to feed me some stupid line
in some stupid bar
I see the same shit everyday
the landscape looks so bleak
I think I'll take the first one of you's home
that does something unique
some chick says
thank you for saying all the things I never do
I say
the thanks I get is to take all the shit for you
it's nice that you listen
it'd be nicer if you joined in
as long as you play their game girl
you're never going to win
today I just want someone to entertain me
I'm tired of being so fierce
I'm tired of being so friendly
you don't have to be a supermodel
to do the animal thing
you don't have to be a supergenius
to open your face up and sing
somebody do something
anything soon
I know I can't be the only
whatever I am in the room
so why am I so lonely?
why am I so tired?
I need company
I need backup
cold and drizzly night in chicago's deep dish
fluorescent light of the bathroom
shows my hands as they are
see an eyelash on my cheek
pick it off and make a wish
and walk back out into the bar
wind at the windows
neon lights the patterned pane
the waitress wields the weight
of her tray around her palm
the doorman cups his hand
and lights his cigarette again
and the rain marches on
this is only a possibility in a world of possibilities
there are obviously there are many possibilities
ranging from small to large
before long there will be short
before short there was nothing
when there was nothing
tehere was always the possibility
of something becoming what it is
don't even bother trying
to say something clever
clever is as clever does
no matter what it says
i'm looking for a sign
says you're for real this time
but i don't trust what's in your head
i walk up to the bar
and point to the top shelf
and then i throw my head back
and laugh at myself
i raise a toast to all our saviors
each so badly behaved
it's too bad that tehir world
is the one that they saved
there's a spider spinning cobwebs
from your elbow to the table
while my eyes ride the crowd
in a secret rodeo
i smile with my mouth
lift my watch up to the light
say oh, look, i have to go
now you got to dance with me, now is when
it's gotta be
cuz i can't wait for the dance floor to fill in
if you want to dance with me, i'll show you
how it's gonna be
i do it for the joy it brings
because i'm a joyful girl
because the world owes me nothing
and we owe each other the world
i do it because it's the least i can do
i do it because i learned it from you
i do it just because i want to
because I want to
everything i do is judged
and they mostly get it wrong
but oh well
'cuz the bathroom mirror has not budged
and the woman who lives there can tell
the truth from the stuff that they say
and she looks me in the eye
and says would you prefer the easy way?
no, well o.k. then
don't cry
and i wonder if everything i do
i do instead
of something i want to do more
the question fills my head
i know that there's no grand plan here
this is just the way it goes
and when everything else seems unclear
i guess at least i know
One, two
One, two, three, four
Well, the heat is so great
It plays tricks with the eye
It turns the road into water
And then from water to sky
And there's a crack in the concrete floor
And it starts at the sink
There's a bathroom in a gas station
And I've locked myself in it to think
And back in the city
The sun bakes the trash on the curb
The men are pissing in doorways
And the rats are running in herds
And I got a dream with your face in it
That scares me awake
I put too much on the table
Now I got too much at stake
And I might let you off easy
Yeah, I might lead you on
I might wait for you to look for me
And then I might be gone
There's where I come from and where I'm going
And I am lost in between
I might go up to that phone booth
And leave a veiled invitation on your machine
And you'll stop me, won't you
If you've heard this one before
The one where I surprise you
By showing up at your front door
Saying let's not ask what's next or how, or why?
I am leaving in the morning, so let's not be shy
I'll be shy
The door opens, the room winces
The housekeeper comes in without a warning
I squint at the muscular motel light
And say, "Hey, good morning"
As she jumps her keys jingle
And she leaves as quickly as she came in
And I roll over and taste the pillow with my grin
Well, the sheets are twisted and damp
But the heat is so great
And I swear I can feel the mattress
Sinking underneath your weight
Oh, sleep is like a fever
And I'm glad when it ends
And the road flows like a river
And it pulls me around every bend
And you'll stop me, won't you
If you've heard this one before
Or the one where I surprise you
By showing up at your front door
Saying let's not ask what's next or how, or why?
I am leaving in the morning, so let's not be shy
I'll be shy
Oh, shy
Well, the heat is so great
It plays tricks with the eye
It turns the road into water
And then from water to sky
And there's a crack in the concrete floor
And it starts at the sink
There's a bathroom in a gas station
And I've locked myself in it to think
And you'll stop me, won't you
If you've heard this one before
Or the one where I surprise you
By showing up at your front door
Saying let's not ask what's next or how, or why?
I am leaving in the morning so let's not be shy
And you'll stop me, won't you
If you've heard this one before
Or the one where I surprise you
By showing up at your front door
Saying let's not ask what's next or how, or why?
I am leaving in the morning so let's not be shy
I'll be shy
Buildings and bridges
are made to bend in the wind
to withstand the world,
that's what it takes
All that steel and stone
is no match for the air, my friend
what doesn't bend breaks
what doesn't bend breaks
we are made to bleed
and scab and heal and bleed again
and turn every scar into a joke
we are made to fight
and fuck and talk and fight again
and sit around and laugh until we choke
sit around and laugh until we choke
I don't know who you were expecting
probably some bitch who does not budge
with eyes the size of snow
I may get pissed off sometimes
but you seem like the type to hold a grudge
and in the end, I just let go...
Buildings and bridges
are made to bend in the wind
to withstand the world,
that's what it takes
All that steel and stone
is no match for the air, my friend
what doesn't bend breaks
you could always hear the rub squeaking
of those two tree limbs
'til one day one of them came down
taken down by the wind
but on the one that's still there
you can still see where the bark was
rubbed bare
it's a metaphor if you know what I mean
how have you been?
me and you
and your girlfriend makes three
in the interest of even numbers
I will make myself scarce
I will make myself scarcely me
but I'll be outside your window at night
pull up your shades
leave on your light
I don't want to come in between
I just want to know
how have you been
I leave for a living
music's just something I do
on my way out the door
and I'd do almost anything once
something about you
I think I'd do you more
if I had my way I'd stay here
and watch your hair grow for a while
it makes me smile just to dream of it
You give me that look that's like laughing
with liquid in your mouth
like you're choosing between choking
and spitting it all out
like you're trying to fight gravity
on a planet that insists
that love is like falling
and falling is like this
Feels like reckless driving when we're talking
It's fun while it lasts, and it's faster than walking
But no one's going to sympathize when we crash
They'll say "you hit what you head for, you get what you ask"
and we'll say we didn't know, we didn't even try
one minute there was road beneath us, the next just sky
I'm sorry I can't help you, I cannot keep you safe
I'm sorry I can't help myself, so don't look at me that way
we can't fight gravity on a planet that insists
that love is like falling
I'm still here because
I've got nothing else to do
you're an asshole
but I'm getting used to you
I like the fact that
you talk incessantly
I got a thing for assholes
who tell good stories
I think that drinking
is the only thing that you do right
you're gonna self-destruct
I think that's what I like
you like me so you try and make me
feel like shit
I think it's kind of funny yeah
I kind of enjoy it
if you're gonna do it, overdo it
that's how you know you're alive
go ahead, take yourself a coma nap
take a puddle dive
you said, this is my bedroom window
you said, this is my view
you said, lie down here with me
and see the things that I do
like you were trying to tell me something
about the way you live
like you would give me something
if you had something to give
and for all your talk
you don't say much that's real
I think I know more than you
about the way that you feel
I understand your anger
and your apathy
I think if I was you,
you're who I'd be
I'm still here
'cause I got nothing else to do
you're an asshole but
I'm getting used to you
I could love you, yeah
I've entertained the thought
but I could never like you
How come I can pick my ears
but not my nose
who made up that rule anyway
how can you say that's the way it is
that's just the way it goes
why don't you decide for yourself
what you can do
and what you can say
how come I can pick my friends
but not my enemies
what is it about me that offends
what is it about me
'cause you know I'm only five foot two
and I'm giggly wiggly
tell me again, what did I do
why are you scared of me
I fight with love
and I laugh with rage
you've gotta live light enough
to see the humour
and long enough to see some change
I think shy is boring
I think depressed is too
I think pretty is nice
but I'd rather see something new
all these plastic people
got their plastic surgery
but we got a big big beautiful
we got it for free
who you gonna be
if you can't be yourself
you can't get it from t.v.
you can't force it on
anybody else
you know they come to clear cut
they come to strip mine
they come for some of my big butt
my big brain
or just a little time
they wanna take me out to dinner
think I'm a bitch if I don't go
seems like the people who actually like me
won't allow me to say no
your idea of a conversation
is the third degree
but I don't really know you
and I don't really want to talk about me
'cause I'm not going to pretend
that I don't pick my nose
that's just the way it is, my friends
that's just the way it goes
this is who I am
what I do
and what I say
if you like it, let it be
if you don't, please do the same
I fight with love
I laugh with rage
you gotta live light enough to see the humour
I know so many white people
I mean, where do I start?
the trouble with white people
is you can't tell them apart
I'm so bad with names and dates and times
but I'm big on faces
that is, except for mine
I believe you when you tell me
we've met before
this time you've got my interest
this time you've got the floor
why don't you go and tell me something
I don't already know
give me something to remember you by
when you go
I eat too much
I laugh too long
maybe I'll like too much of you
when I'm gone
let's go over to the window
and sit in the neon light
let's go out walking
you know, it's garbage night
let's go down to the east river
and throw something in
something we can't live without
and then let's start again
the more you talk
the more I get
the sense of something
that hasn't happened yet
the more you talk
the more I want to know
the way I'll remember you
when I go
I eat too much
I laugh too long
maybe I'll like too much of you
when I'm gone
I am so many white people
I mean where do I start
they've got lots of personalities
I just can't tell them apart
and I never remember anything
except for those things
which I never forget you know
there's no in between
I'm big on your face
yeah it's big in my mind
you're like the rest of the human race
my lipstick
jumped ship
to a styrofoam cup
with the coffee gone
the conversation strong
all I got left to give
baby, is up
but sentiments like shadows grow
oh so long
guess I gotta go
don't get up
don't cry
it's really very simple
just kiss my cheek and say goodbye
I never really go anywhere anyway
I just pass through from time to time
bye bye baby
baby bye bye
maybe I'll see you
next time I'm in town
maybe when I'm through
falling off the face of the earth
I'll come back around
you know I love to come back around
ten hours of driving
will make your mind
kind of numb
but it's better than
ten dollars an hour
slamming a hammer on my thumb
and it's better than
five dollars an hour
selling people shit
I wouldn't buy myself
at least at the end of the day
I'm always somewhere else
bye bye baby
baby bye bye
maybe I'll see you
next time I'm in town
maybe when I'm through
falling off the face of the earth
I'll come back around
state trooper thinks I drive too fast
pulled me over to tell me so
I say out here on the prarie
any speed is too slow
I miss brooklyn I miss my crew
let's start over
I missed my cue
guess I just forgot
who I was talking to
I should have recognized
that fierce look in his eyes
I've seen it in the mirror
so many times
he's going to put his two cents in
'cause he's got a gun
but I'm gonna put in three
'cause history owes me one
guess I came out here to see some
stuff for myself
I mean, why leave the telling
up to everybody else
this may be god's country
but it's my country too
move over mr. holiness
and let the little people through
thank you for serving and protecting
the likes of me
thank you for the ticket
now can I leave?
you know I have left everywhere
I have ever been
I don't really recommend it
though not like anyone asked me
maybe you and I
will meet again someday
I've been known to
come down this road
call it destiny
and then again
maybe not
I'm not hurting anyone
I'm just telling my truth
and if there
if there is something wrong
then maybe
there's something wrong with you
what's the big deal
get over it
relax
just 'cause I do up in your face
what other people do behind your back
why we all gotta look
gotta act the same
I say
if you're born a lion
don't bother trying to act tame
everything I do
I do for the first time
I got a big crush on you
and it's crushing my mind
can I follow you home
and listen to you think
leave my lip prints on your cups
leave my hairs in your sink
they think I'm out there
out there living on the fringe
well
this is my world
and I invited them in
they should try living
by my rules for a day
nobody would die
there'd be lots of stuff to say
I'm not hurting anyone
sitting in the boardroom
the I'm-so-bored room
listening to the suits
talk about their world
they can make straight lines
out of almost anything
except for the line
of my upper lip when it curls
dressed in my best greasy skin
and squinty eyes
I'm the only part of summer here
that made it inside
in the air-conditioned building
decorated with coporate flair
I wonder
can these boys smell me bleeding
though my underwear
there's men wearing the blood
of the women they love
there's white wearing the blood of the brown
but every woman learns to bleed from the moon
and we bleed to renew life
every time it's cut down
I got my vertebrae all stacked up
as high as they go
I but I still feel myself sliding
from the earth that I know
so I excuse myself and leave the room
say my period came early
but it's not a minute too soon
I go and find the only other woman on the floor
is the secretary sitting at the desk by the door
I ask her if she's got a tampon I could use
she says
oh honey, what a hassle for you
sure I do
you know I do
I say
it ain't no hassle, no, it ain't no mess
right now it's the only power
that I possess
these businessmen got the money
they got the instruments of death
But I can make life
I can make breath
sitting in the boardroom
the I'm-so-bored room
listening to the suits talk about their world
I didn't really have much to say
the whole time I was there
so I just left a big brown bloodstain
Susan is a connotation
At less than arms length
She has the strength of an opinion
Her promises are like the night overcast
Like the stars she doesn't show
And when she does, she doesn't last
You can see her goodness
Like her breath on a window pane
And then she turns her head
And it is gone again
And while I'm left waiting
She'll wax and she'll wane
And maybe she'll come here again
And susan was at the other end of the line
And she received me just in time
And I lean to her like a preference of mine
Like a reference to friendship
She defined my time
Now I'm waiting for susan
I don't know where I am in line
I'm waiting for susan
On the underside of your salutation
I can hear you turning inward
Hello is such a thin word
You're going to have to hide doubletime from me
'cause I read our poetry, and I can see when it doesn't rhyme
You said you either wanted me home
Or you wanted to be alone[? ]
Or you wanted to be alone
And I felt you decide
I have heard all the words you hold inside
We were knitted like yarn
In the morning you were the snooze button on my alarm
And now goodnight is just the gesture of an arm
Well I think I understand
But I don't think I agree
Sometimes I want to amend
And sometimes I just want to be free
If we can try forgiving
If we can try to go on living
Like some kind of amateur team
Anyone can see that love
Is waiting u s more than m e
That's for me
The subway car smells like an animal's cage
And don't you feel like the captain riding in a rage
Oh the city's sweet as cider...sours with age
The toss between fear and freedom
Looking for a familiar sign
And the man sitting next to you says "hey baby, can you spare a dime? "
Oh the city's sweet as cider... sours in time
You turn to see his pants from 1965 with the holes in the pockets
And the fly open wide
And just when he starts to make you nervous, suddenly he starts to cry
Oh the city's sweet as cider...passes some people by
And on the other side of the darkness
Where the tunnel closes inside
You can only come out even in this town
But girl, you have come out alright
Oh the city's sweet as cider...isn't sweet at night
she was hungry
so hungry
she was trying to think clear
she kept opening the fridge door
staring at the mustard and the beer
then finally she went out into the rain
carrying her bicycle chain
and her feet were the pedals
while her appetite steered
and after that she just followed her nose
and fate is not just
whose cooking smells good
but which way the wind blows
she lay down in her party dress
and never got up
needless to say
she missed the party
she just got sad
then she got stuck
she was bending
like something brittle
trying hard to bend
she was numb
with the terror
of losing her best friend
we never see things changing
we only see them ending
and some vicious whispering voice kept saying
you have no choice
you have....
'cause when I look at you I squint
you are that beautiful
and my pussy is a tractor
and this is a tractor pull
and I am haunted
by my illicit exquisite dream
but I can't really wake up
so I just drift in between
thinking the glass is half-empty
and thinking it's not quite full
the pouring rain is no place for a bicycle ride
try to hit the brakes and you slide
slide
slide
slide
the pouring rain is no place for a bicycle ride
try to hit the brakes and you
slide
slide
slide
slide
slide
slide
slide
slide
I always escape where I have been.
I leave you looking for my face,
Wondering what it was you've seen
Down the long dark hallway in flight heading back from which I came.
I am a creature of the night and silver ingrid is my name.
Silver ingrid be my teacher, show me laughter laced with love.
Tell my theories of the wind song on the wings of a dove.
Silver ingrid, be my teacher, show me laughter laced with love.
he caresses every bottle
like it's the first one he's had
saying
it ain't love
but it ain't bad
it's the only reward
bestowed upon me
and I have served faithfully
I can see he is scarred
from doing some hard time
but I let alone what is broken
'cause it isn't mine
he strikes out at me
when I am within reach
then he reaches for me
when I draw the line
sometimes it seems like love
is just a fancy word for compromise
you gotta read between the years
you gotta write between the lines
you gotta try to understand
the grandness of the man behind the petty crimes
and let him off easy sometimes
I have only just met
an old old friend
we've been walking around holding hands
I hope some day he can bend
as far as it takes to understand
I'll be your biggest fan, I will be your fool
I'll be your exception to every rule
and I ain't the type to bitch
I ain't the type to cry
I'll sit at your red light
and wait for your ship to go by
and this vague little smile is my all-purpose expression
the meaning of which I will leave to your discretion
yeah my distraction is my defense against this lack of inspiration
against this slowly deflation
yeah the further the horizon you know the more it warps my gaze
the foreground's out of focus but you know I kinda hope it's
just a phase, just a phase
just a phase, just a phase
just a phase, just a phase
just a phase
I've been through and through this, I know just how it goes
you'll have no idea, you'll have no need to know
I will make your body grow wings and take flight
I will erase sound, I will erase light
I said this vague little smile is my all-purpose expression
the meaning of which I will leave to your discretion
yes my distraction is my defense against this lack of inspiration
against this slowly deflation
yeah the further the horizon the more it warps my gaze
and the foreground's out of focus but you know I kinda hope it's
just a phase, just a phase
just a phase, just a phase
just a phase, just a phase
your body
forshortened below your shoulders
your face so close it's out of focus
way down the hallway
comes the sound of your shoes
this is when I think about when I think about you
if we let our love off of it's leash
do you fear like I fear how fierce it would be?
your headlights sweepin'
across my ceiling
the breath of my smile
the depth of my feeling
way down in my dark light of shadows
your life with sharp things that glow
this is what I think about when I think about you
if we let our love off of its leash
do you fear like I fear how fierce it would be?
oh my my
oh my my
oh my my
oh my my
oh my my
oh my my
oh my my
Girl, what are you gonna do with this time?
You are on your own with a question on your mind.
Ain't it a funny thing to accept that you are the worst company that you have ever kept?
What are you gonna do?
You are living all alone, there's no place to go out to and no reason to come home.
And oh, it's so ironic, you the girl with all the friends
Just sitting in such solitude trying desperately to mend.
And suddenly the four walls start closing in around.
The daily defenses are all falling down.
What are you gonna do?
You are living all alone, there's no place to go out to and no reason to come home.
And you just can't seem to follow through with anything that you start to do.
You leave the television talking to the empty air.
You leave your plate half full and you comb half your hair.
What are you gonna do?
guess there's something wrong with me
guess I don't fit in
no one wants to touch it
no one knows where to begin
I've got more than one membership
to more than one club
and I owe my life
to the people that I love
he looks me up and down
like he knows what time it is
like he's got my number
like he thinks it's his
he says,
call me, Miss DiFranco,
if there's anything I can do
I say,
It's Mr. DiFranco to you
somedays the line I walk
turns out to be straight
other days the line tends to
deviate
I've got no criteria for sex or race
I just want to hear your voice
I just want to see your face
She looks me up and down
like she thinks that I'll mature
like she's got my number
like it belongs to her
she says,
call me, Ms. DiFranco
if there's anything I can do
I say, I've got spots
I've got
stripes, too
their eyes are all asking
are you in, or are you out
and I think, oh man,
what is this about?
tonight you can't put me
up on any shelf
'cause I came here alone
I'm gonna leave by myself
I just want to show you
the way that I feel
and when I get tired
you can take the wheel
to me what's more important
is the person that I bring
not just getting to the same restaraunt
and eating the same thing
guess there's something wrong with me
guess I don't fit in
no one wants to touch it
no one knows where to begin
I've more than one membership
to more than one club
I'm okay
if you get me at a good angle
and you're okay
in the sort of light
and we don't look
like pages from a magazine
but that's all right
that's all right
I crashed your pickup truck
and then I had to drive it back home
I was crying
I was so scared
of what you would do
of what you would say
but you just started laughing
so I started laughing along
saying, it looks a little rough
but it runs okay
it looks a little rough
but it runs good anyway
we get a little further from perfection
each year on the road
I guess that's what they call character
I guess that's just the way it goes
better to be dusty than polished
like some store window mannequin
why don't you tocuh me where I'm rusty
let me stain your hands
when you're pretty as a picture
they pound down your door
but I've been offered love
in two dimensions before
and I know that it's not all
it's made out to be
let's show them how it's done
you think I wouldn't have him
unless I could have him by the balls
you think I just dish it out
you don't think I take it at all
you think I am stronger
you think I walk taller than the rest
you think I'm usually wearing the pants
just 'cause I rarely wear a dress
well...
when you look at me
you see my purpose,
see my pride
you think I just saddle up my anger
and ride and ride and ride
you think I stand so firm
you think I sit so high on my trusty steed
let me tell you
I'm usually face down on the ground
when there's a stampede
I'm no heroine
at least, not last time I checked
I'm too easy to roll over
I'm too easy to wreck
I just write about
what I should have done
I just sing
what I wish I could say
and hope somewhere
some woman hears my music
and it helps her through her day
'cause some guy designed
these shoes I use to walk around
some big man's business turns a profit
every time I lay my money down
some guy designed the room I'm standing in
another built it with his own tools
who says I like right angles?
these are not my laws
there are not my rules
I'm no heroine
I still answer to the other half of the race
I don't fool myself
like I fool you
I don't have the power
it was good
good to see you again
good to meet your girlfriend
I'll try not to wonder where you are
when you go outside to kiss her
in the front seat of your car
it is good
good to be back home
how I missed this time zone
strangers are exciting
their mystery never ends
but there's nothing like looking at your own history
in the faces of your friends
and it's bad
to have eyes like neon signs
flashing open open open
open open open open open
open all the time
and it's bad
that I wrapped you in a fantasy
and I carry you with me
but lately it seems like everybody's
joined at the hip
and I'm still fancy
I'm so fancy
fancy free
sometimes the beauty is easy
sometimes you don't have to try at all
sometimes you can hear the wind blow in a handshake
sometimes there's poetry written right
on the bathroom wall
and it's bad
that I took that second look
I guess I'm an open book
you know I didn't really intend
to embrace you that long
but then again I wasn't the only one
you wander into the forest
following that shiny red ball
and by the time you looked up
you were lost, that's not all
instead of being the hero boy
he finds his way and emerges a man
you just start cutting me down tree by tree
as fast as you can
oh say can you see me
oh say can you see me
oh say can you see me
over here, over here
you want me to tell you a story
but I am weary of entertaining
I'll have more to say when I'm happy
'course then I'll have less to say
'cause there's no me left for me
no anecdotal term of ? here
no wild adventures, except in darkness
so dark, I'd rather not say
oh say can you see me
oh say can you see me
oh say can you see me
I am wading through the waters wanting you.
I don't dare look cause I'll see right through.
I tried to warm myself to sleep, but now I'm wading way too deep.
I can't scream my sirens any higher, cause I'm bound to find a fire.
I can smell your closeness though you hide in your tower
The peasant boy playing with the princess of power.
And out of the struggle of your isolation, comes a redemption of innocence by association.
I can't scream my sirens any higher, cause I'm bound to find a fire.
So I will play your game, cause it's my game too.
A stranger's arithmetic where one and one don't make two.
I can sense a softness there, can you imagine the lifelessness that we could share.
For lee I'm cement, but behind the buttons on my blouse
My heart is bent between fair weather and a woman who may never be.
A woman who would be me.
Or the smell of women with a recipe.
All those voices stirring jealousy into the sounds cooking in me.
Well, I lost five seconds to the powers that be.
And then a man, some man defined chronologically.
Wet in my mind, dripping into the rest of me.
For your desire distorts, disguises what comes naturally.
Oh, and soft smells from apartment two and some farm outside.
My body brings it's smells to what it's tried.
And some hair is healthy, but all hair is dead.
And I think that's what it's like in my head.
For lee I'm cement, but behind the buttons on my blouse
Things can't get much weirder
This can't get much worse
Don't know why you wouldn't kiss me
But it's a good thing I asked you first.
You were a big strapping boy with a boner.
Yeah I felt it when you hugged me goodbye
You gave me an evening I'll never forget
No matter how hard I try.
Yeah you were just mister flirtatious
All night just workin' that ass
Well you know it's uncool to bring it to school
If you don't want to share with the class
I am just Mrs. Embarrassed
I feel like a dirty old man
I've got my eye on a guy
That just moved out of mom's house
With his pretty head stuck in the sand
You've earned yourself a place in my memory
By being the one who said no
Where are my fucking care keys
I think I'll just go
Surprise surprise now you miss me
Now that I'm not in your face
Surprise surprise now you're calling me
Now that you feel safe
Do you think that I could be your prom date
You could do us a stiff little dance
Except that this isn't high school, baby
And you had your chance
You had your chance
You've earned yourself a place in my memory
By being the one who said no
Now where are my fucking car keys I think I should go
Hey look! car keys... bye!] things can't get much weirder
This can't get much worse
Don't know why you wouldn't kiss me
But it's a good thing I asked you first.
You were a big strapping boy with a boner.
And I felt it in your goodbye
You're leaving I'll never forget
No matter how hard I try
second intermission
anticipation
you know the third act
small talk drops out of the play
you're standing in the lobby
tightening your tourniquet
waiting for it
and then the bell sounds
and the lights flash
and there's all these questions milling around
and there's no time to ask
no bliss for little miss leading
cuz she's learning about bleeding
but what is love if not exquisite
our only saving grace
or is it?
and somewhere inside your iris
blooms the reflection of my surprise
as you stroll past every last do not enter
and touch me at my epicenter
and the bell sounds
and the lights flash
and there's all these questions milling around
and there's no time to ask
I'm always trying to get there
I never really get there
to that quiet place where
I accept myself
instead I'm deep inside some high school
locker room no clothing
popping the zits of my self loathing
under fluorescent lights
and the bell sounds
and the lights flash
and there's all these questions milling around
and you're too ashamed to ask
second intermission
anticipation
you know the third act
small talk drops out of the play
and you're standing in the lobby
tightening your tourniquet
waiting for it
waiting for it
pale purple nipples
goose pimpled
she shivers shifts from a walk to a trot
alone in the city
infested with faces
immune to new friendships
interested in places she's never seen
she says everything is grey here
and nothing is green
the girls from down the street
sixteen, seventeen years old
you can smell them getting pregnant
you can hear their rock and roll
that's america
you have to be tough
like a glad trash bag
the government's an old nag
with a good pedigree
but pedigree's don't help you and me
I see the precedent is grey here
and nothing is green
unless something unforseen happens
I'm surrounded by the haves
they say I can have some too
just because of what I do
do they think a lot
about those who have not
or does it just distract them
from what they do
most of us have grey
except for those who can pay
for green
I'm torn
I'm torn
rejecting outfits offered me
regretting things I've worn
when I was still playing roles
to fill holes
in my conception of who I am
you know, now I understand
it's not important to be defined
it's only important to use your time well
well time is something nobody can buy
and nobody can sell you
so don't let anybody tell you
they have the advantage
because all the grey people can say every day
doesn't mean anything
if your mind is green
pale purple nipples
goose pimpled
she shivers shifts from a walk to a trot
alone in the city
infested with faces
immune to new friendships
interested in places she's never seen
she says everything is grey here
otherwise I'd stay here
but I'm looking for green
I'm imagining your frame
every angle
and every plane
I'm imagining your smell
the one that mingled with mine
once upon a time
thoughts of you
are picketing my brain
they refuse
to work such long hours without rest
in unstable conditions at best
they're out there every day
holding up there signs
and thoughts of no other man but you
could possibly get through
the picket lines
to enter into my mind
I'm imagining your laugh again
the one you save for your family
and your very
close
friends
I'm imagining the way you say my name
I don't know when
I'm going to hear it again
my friends can't tell
my laughter from my cries
someone tell this photograph of you
to let go of my eyes
I'm imagining your frame
I'm imagining your smell
I'm imagining your laugh again
perpetrating counter-culture she is walking through the park
first light ugly and more muscular than the dark
pushing poems at the urban silence
drawing portraits of the passers-by
sitting on the curb
combining traffic sounds
getting dirty looks and dirty jeans
on the dirty ground
she says I can't figure out what kind of life this is
comedy or tragedy I just know it's show biz
and what if I don't agree
with the lines I have to read
they don't pay me enough
the way I see it
freedom and democracy
that's the word from washington every day
the americat's asleep
with warm milk and cliches
and people are expendable along the way
your dollar is dependable
what more can we say
would you like some dog coffee
it's all that we've got
you can have some
you can have not
would you like some dog coffee
it's all that we've got
we're taking care of big business
I am walking
out in the rain
and I am listening to the low moan
of the dial tone again
and I am getting
nowhere with you
and I can't let it go
and I can't get through...
the old woman behind the pink curtains
and the closed door
on the first floor
she's listening through the air shaft
to see how long our swan song can last
and both hands
now use both hands
oh, no don't close your eyes
I am writing
graffitti on your body
I am drawing the story of
how hard we tried
I am watching your chest rise and fall
like the tides of my life,
and the rest of it all
and your bones have been my bedframe
and your flesh has been my pillow
I am waiting for sleep
to offer up the deep
with both hands
in eachother's shadows we grew less and less tall
and eventually our theories couldn't explain it all
and I'm recording our history now on the bedroom wall
and eventually the landlord will come
and paint over it all
and I am walking
out in the rain
and I am listening to the low moan of the dial tone again
and I am getting nowhere with you
and I can't let it go
and I can't get though
So now use both hands
please use both hands
oh, no don't close your eyes
I am writing graffitti on your body
I am drawing the story of how hard we tried
hard we tried
sleep walking through the all-nite drug store
baptized in fluorescent light
i found religion in the greeting card aisle
now i know hallmark was right
and every pop song on the radio
is suddenly speaking to me
art may imitate life
but life imitates t.v.
'cuz you've been gone exactly two weeks
two weeks and three days
and let's just say that
things look different now
different in so many ways
i used to be a superhero
no one could touch me
not even myself
you are like a phone booth
that i somehow stumbled into
and now look at me
i am just like everybody else
if i was dressed in my best defenses
would you agree to meet me for coffee
if i did my tricks with smoke and mirrors
would you still know which one was me
if i was naked and screaming
on your front lawn
would you turn on the light and come down
screaming, there's the asshole
who did this to me
stripped me of my power
stripped me down
i used to be a superhero
no one could touch me
not even myself
you are like a phone booth
that i somehow stumbled into
and now look at me
i am just like everybody else
yeah you've been gone exactly two weeks
two weeks and three days
and now i'm a different person
different in so many ways
tell me what did you like about me
and don't say my strength and daring
'cuz now i think i'm at your mercy
and it's my first time for this kind of thing
i used to be a superhero
i would swoop down and save me
from myself
but you are like a phone booth
that i somehow stumbled into
and now look at me
i am just like everybody else
(inspired by the WTC disaster)
yes,
us people are just poems
we're 90% metaphor
with a leanness of meaning
approaching hyper-distillation
and once upon a time
we were moonshine
rushing down the throat of a giraffe
yes, rushing down the long hallway
despite what the p.a. announcement says
yes, rushing down the long stairs
with the whiskey of eternity
fermented and distilled
to eighteen minutes
burning down our throats
down the hall
down the stairs
in a building so tall
that it will always be there
yes, it's part of a pair
there on the bow of Noah's ark
the most prestigious couple
just kickin back parked
against a perfectly blue sky
on a morning beatific
in its Indian summer breeze
on the day that America
fell to its knees
after strutting around for a century
without saying thank you
or please
and the shock was subsonic
and the smoke was deafening
between the setup and the punch line
'cause we were all on time for work that day
we all boarded that plane for to fly
and then while the fires were raging
we all climbed up on the windowsill
and then we all held hands
and jumped into the sky
and every borough looked up when it heard the first blast
and then every dumb action movie was summarily surpassed
and the exodus uptown by foot and motorcar
looked more like war than anything I've seen so far
so far
so far
so fierce and ingenious
a poetic specter so far gone
that every jackass newscaster was struck dumb and stumbling
over 'oh my god' and 'this is unbelievable' and on and on
and I'll tell you what, while we're at it
you can keep the pentagon
keep the propaganda
keep each and every TV
that's been trying to convince me
to participate
in some prep school punk's plan to perpetuate retribution
perpetuate retribution
even as the blue toxic smoke of our lesson in retribution
is still hanging in the air
and there's ash on our shoes
and there's ash in our hair
and there's a fine silt on every mantle
from hell's kitchen to Brooklyn
and the streets are full of stories
sudden twists and near misses
and soon every open bar is crammed to the rafters
with tales of narrowly averted disasters
and the whiskey is flowin
like never before
as all over the country
folks just shake their heads
and pour
so here's a toast to all the folks who live in Palestine
Afghanistan
Iraq
El Salvador
here's a toast to the folks living on the pine ridge reservation
under the stone cold gaze of mt. Rushmore
here's a toast to all those nurses and doctors
who daily provide women with a choice
who stand down a threat the size of Oklahoma City
just to listen to a young woman's voice
here's a toast to all the folks on death row right now
awaiting the executioner's guillotine
who are shackled there with dread and can only escape into their heads
to find peace in the form of a dream
'cause take away our playstations
and we are a third world nation
under the thumb of some blue blood royal son
who stole the oval office and that phony election
I mean
it don't take a weatherman
to look around and see the weather
Jeb said he'd deliver Florida, folks
and boy did he ever
and we hold these truths to be self evident:
#1 George W. Bush is not president
#2 America is not a true democracy
#3 the media is not fooling me
'cause I am a poem heeding hyper-distillation
I've got no room for a lie so verbose
I'm looking out over my whole human family
and I'm raising my glass in a toast
here's to our last drink of fossil fuels
let us vow to get off of this sauce
shoo away the swarms of commuter planes
and find that train ticket we lost
'cause once upon a time the line followed the river
and peeked into all the backyards
and the laundry was waving
the graffiti was teasing us
from brick walls and bridges
we were rolling over ridges
through valleys
under stars
I dream of touring like Duke Ellington
in my own railroad car
I dream of waiting on the tall blonde wooden benches
in a grand station aglow with grace
and then standing out on the platform
and feeling the air on my face
give back the night its distant whistle
give the darkness back its soul
give the big oil companies the finger finally
and relearn how to rock-n-roll
yes, the lessons are all around us and a change is waiting there
so it's time to pick through the rubble, clean the streets
and clear the air
get our government to pull its big dick out of the sand
of someone else's desert
put it back in its pants
and quit the hypocritical chants of
freedom forever
'cause when one lone phone rang
in two thousand and one
at ten after nine
on nine one one
which is the number we all called
when that lone phone rang right off the wall
right off our desk and down the long hall
down the long stairs
in a building so tall
that the whole world turned
just to watch it fall
and while we're at it
remember the first time around?
the bomb?
the Ryder truck?
the parking garage?
the princess that didn't even feel the pea?
remember joking around in our apartment on avenue D?
can you imagine how many paper coffee cups would have to change their design
following a fantastical reversal of the New York skyline?!
it was a joke, of course
it was a joke
at the time
and that was just a few years ago
so let the record show
that the FBI was all over that case
that the plot was obvious and in everybody's face
and scoping that scene
religiously
the CIA
or is it KGB?
committing countless crimes against humanity
with this kind of eventuality
as its excuse
for abuse after expensive abuse
and it didn't have a clue
look, another window to see through
way up here
on the 104th floor
look
another key
another door
10% literal
90% metaphor
3000 some poems disguised as people
on an almost too perfect day
must be more than poems
in some asshole's passion play
so now it's your job
and it's my job
to make it that way
to make sure they didn't die in vain
sshhhhhh....
baby listen
they told you your music
could reach millions
that the choice was up to you
you told me they always
pay for lunch
and they believe in what i do
and i wonder
if you miss your old friends
once you've proven what you're worth
yeah i wonder
when you're a big star
will you miss the earth
and i know you would always want more
i know you would never be done
'cuz everyone is a fucking napoleon
yeah everyone is a fucking napoleon
and the next time
that i saw you
you were larger than life
you came and you conquered
you were doing alright
you had an army
of suits behind you
and all you had to be was willing
and i said i still
make a pretty good living
you must make a killing
a killing
and i hope that you are happy
i hope at least you are having fun
'cuz but everyone is a fucking napoleon
yeah everyone is a fucking napoleon
now you think, so that is
the way it's gonna be
that's what this is all about
i think that that is
the way it always was
you chose not to notice until now
yeah now that there's a problem
you call me up to confide
and you go on for over an hour
'bout each one that took you for a ride
and i guess that you dialed my number
'cuz you thought for sure that i'd agree
i said baby, you know i still love you
but how dare you complain to me
everyone is a fucking napoleon
when I was four years old
they tried to test my I.Q.
they showed me a picture
of 3 oranges and a pear
they said,
which one is different?
it does not belong
they taught me different is wrong
but when I was 13 years old
I woke up one morning
thighs covered in blood
like a war
like a warning
that I live in a breakable takeable body
an ever-increasingly valuable body
that a woman had come in the night to replace me
deface me
see,
my body is borrowed
yeah, I got it on loan
for the time in between my mom and some maggots
I don't need anyone to hold me
I can hold my own
I got highways for stretchmarks
see where I've grown
I sing sometimes
like my life is at stake
'cause you're only as loud
as the noises you make
I'm learning to laugh as hard
as I can listen
'cause silence
is violence
in women and poor people
if more people were screaming then I could relax
but a good brain ain't diddley
if you don't have the facts
we live in a breakable takeable world
an ever available possible world
and we can make music
like we can make do
genius is in a back beat
backseat to nothing if you're dancing
especially something stupid
like I.Q.
for every lie I unlearn
I learn something new
I sing sometimes for the war that I fight
'cause every tool is a weapon -
don't ask me why I'm crying
I'm not going to tell you what's wrong
I'm just gonna sit on your lap
for five dollars a song
I want you to pay me for my beauty
I think it's only right
'cause I have been paying for it
all of my life
I'm gonna take the money I make
I'm gonna take the money I make
I'm gonna take the money I make
and I'm gonna go away...
we barely have time to react in this world
let alone rehearse
and I don't think I'm better than you
but I don't think that I'm worse
women learn to be women
and men learn to be men
and I don't blame it all on you
but I don't want to be your friend
I'm gonna take the money I make
I'm gonna take the money I make
I'm gonna take the money I make
and I'm gonna go away...
I was eleven years old
he was as old as my dad
and he took something from me
I didn't even know that I had
so don't tell me about decency
don't tell me about pride
just give me something for my trouble
'cause this time, it's not a free ride
I'm gonna take the money I make
I'm gonna take the money I make
I'm gonna take the money I make
and I'm gonna go away...
don't ask me why I'm crying
I'm not going to tell you what's wrong
I'm just gonna sit on your lap
for five dollars a songs
I want you to pay me for my beauty
I think it's only right
'cause I have been paying for it
all of my life
now I just wanna take
and I'm just gonna take
I'm gonna take
in the jukebox of her memory
the list of names flips by and stops
she closes her eyes
and smiles as the record drops
then she drinks herself up and out
of her kitchen chair
and she dances out of time
as slow as she can sway
for as long as she can say
this dance is mine
this dance is mine
her hair bears silent witness
to the passing of time
tattoos like mile markers
map the distance she has gone
winning some, losing some
she says my sister still calls every sunday night
after the rates go down
and i can never manage to say anything right
my whole life blew up
and now its all coming down
and she says leave me alone
tonight i just wanna stay home
she fills the pot with water
she drops in the bone
she says, i've got a darkness that i have to feed
i've got a sadness
that grows up around me like a weed
and i'm not hurting anyone
i'm just spiraling in
as she closes her eyes
and hears the song begin again
she appreciates the phone calls
the consoling cards and such
she appreciates all the people
who come by and try to pull her back in touch
they try to hold the lid down tightly
and they try to shake well
but the oil and water
just want to separate themselves
she drinks herself up and out of her kitchen chair
and she dances out of time
as slow as she can sway
for as long as she can say
this dance is mine
this dance is mine
thank you
for letting me stay here
thank you for taking me in
thank you
for the beer and the food
thank you
for loaning me bus fare
thank you for showing me around
that was a very kind thing to do
thank you
for the use of the clean towel
thank you for half of your bed
we can sleep here like brother and sister,
you said
but you changed the rules
in an hour or two
and I don't know what you
and your sisters do
but please don't
please stop
this is not my obligation
what does my body have to do
with my gratitude?
look at you
little white lying
for the purpose of justifying
what you're trying to do
I know that you feel my resistance
I know that you heard what I said
otherwise you wouldn't need the excuse
thank you
for letting me stay here
thank you for taking me in
I don't know where else
I would have turned
but I don't come and go
like a pop song
that you can play incessantly
and then foget when it's gone
you can't write me off
and you don't turn me on
so don't change the rules
in an hour or two
I don't know what you and your
sisters do
but please don't
please stop
this is not my obligation
what does my body have to do
squint your eyes and look closer
I'm not between you and your ambition
I am a poster girl with no poster
I am thirty-two flavors and then some
and I'm beyond your peripheral vision
so you might want to turn your head
cause someday you're going to get hungry
and eat most of the words you just said
both my parents taught me about good will
and I have done well by their names
just the kindness I've lavished on strangers
is more than I can explain
still there's many who've turned out their porch lights
just so I would think they were not home
and hid in the dark of their windows
til I'd passed and left them alone
and god help you if you are an ugly girl
course too pretty is also your doom
cause everyone harbors a secret hatred
for the prettiest girl in the room
and god help you if you are a pheonix
and you dare to rise up from the ash
a thousand eyes will smolder with jealousy
while you are just flying back
I'm not trying to give my life meaning
by demeaning you
and I would like to state for the record
I did everything that I could do
I'm not saying that I'm a saint
I just don't want to live that way
no, I will never be a saint
but I will always say
squint your eyes and look closer
I'm not between you and your ambition
I am a poster girl with no poster
I am thirty-two flavors and then some
And I'm beyond your peripheral vision
So you might want to turn your head
Cause someday you might find you're starving
who's gonna give a shit
who's gonna take the call
when you find out that the road ahead
is painted on a wall
and you're turned up to top volume
and you're just sitting there in pause
with your feral little secret
scratching at you with its claws
and you're trying hard to figure out
just exactly how you feel
before you end up parked and sobbing
forehead on the steering wheel
who are you now
and who were you then
that you thought somehow
you could just pretend
that you could figure it all out
the mathematics of regret
so it takes two beers to remember now
and five to forget
that i loved you so
yeah, i loved you, so what
how many times undone
can one person be
as they're careening through the facade
of their favorite fantasy
you just close your eyes slowly
like you're waiting for a kiss
and hope some lowly little power
will pull you out of this
but none comes at first
and little comes at all
and when inspiration finally hits you
it barely even breaks your fall
who were you then
and who are you
now that you can't pretend
that you can figure it all out
subtract out the impact
and the fall is all you get
so it takes two beers to remember now
and three more to forget
that i loved you so
yeah, i loved you, so what
i loved you
she was shaking and talking
louder and louder
each sentence was sifted
to a very fine powder
her face was wet and tight
her grip was cold and light
a strong wind could blow you down
I heard myself say
word up sister
a strong wind
could take me away
I said how long have
you been at large
they told me you were stashed
last time I asked
she said I've been out now
for all of three hours
I just resurfaced
and here you are
I must admit
that it has been hard
so far
I said skeletons are fine
your closet or mine
and we took turns recounting
the details of lost time
and when we had both
admitted it all
we threw our heads back
and laughed until we cried
we laughed because the world
is absurd and beautiful and small
there we were
washed up on the curb
as the rush hour traffic
went out with the tide
and I was aware that
with every word spoken and shared
I could see her shaking subside
I said sister looks to me
she went over to his apartment
clutching her decision
and he said, did you come here to tell me goodbye?
so she built a skyscraper of procrastination
and then she leaned out the twenty-fifth floor window
of her reply
and she felt like an actress
just reading her lines
when she finally said
yes. it's really goodbye this time
and far below was the blacktop
and the tiny toy cars
and it all fell so fast
and it all fell so far
and she said:
you are a miracle but that is not all
you are also a stiff drink and i am on call
you are a party and i am a school night
and i'm lookin' for my door key
but you are my porch light
and you'll never know, dear
just how much i loved you
you'll probably think this was
just my big excuse
but i stand committed
to a love that came before you
and the fact that i adore you
is but one of my truths
what of the mother
whose house is in flames
and both of her children
are in their beds crying
and she loves them both
with the whole of her heart
but she knows she can only
carry one at a time?
she's choking on the smoke
of unthinkable choices
she is haunted by the voices
of so many desires
she's bent over from the business
of begging forgiveness
while frantically running around
putting out fires
but then what kind of scale
compares the weight of two beauties
the gravity of duties
or the ground speed of joy?
tell me what kind of gauge
can quantify elation?
what kind of equation
could i possibly employ?
and you'll never know, dear
just how much i loved you
you probably think this was
just my big excuse
but i stand committed
to a love that came before you
and the fact that i adore you
is just one of my truths
so i
i'm goin' home
to please the one i so love pleasing
and i don't expect
he'll have much sympathy for my grieving
but i guess that this is the price
that we pay for the privilege
of living for even a day
in a world with so many things
worth believing
i'll sing you a song that starts out descriptive
and locates a time and a place
like a dinner table where a whole family
is just sitting down to say grace
an old old song that moves into action
taking its sweet sweet time
and waits until we all say amen
again and again in rhyme
it's the story of a father and a mother
who battle each other over nothin'
with a couple of kids trying to figure
which way the plot's spinning
who's winning and who is bluffing
it's a story as common as a penny, son
it ain't really worth anything to anyone
poor little sore little song
that aches like a muscle each time that it moves
sad little song that you play
and you play and you play
and you play 'til you lose
while history is outside writing a recipe book
for every earthly pain
this song is inside finger painting dark swirls
again and again and they all look the same
cuz what if you come home from school one day
and you find your whole family's at war
and there's this ominous silence just waiting to be broken
and there's secret places for hiding underneath the floorboards
and everyone seems to be bracing
for the subharmonic thunder of the next bomb
and everyone seems to be waiting for the cops to bust in
with their guns drawn
at the bleak light of dawn
it's a story as common as a penny, son
if you ask me
i'll say
yes please
to you today
so don't ask me
cuz i'm weak that way
just don't ask me
o.k.
i'm so glad we got that
straightened away
if you see me
walk by
you better just let me
walk by
you better not
bat your pretty eyes
you better not
stop me to say hi
i got a sweet tooth today
so you better not cut that pie
if you ask me
i'll say
yes please
to you today
so don't ask me
cuz i'm weak that way
just don't ask me
even when i look right at you
i always just see through
and i always just see new things
to admire about you
am i what you thought you were getting?
does this love we make make you proud?
does it look like it did on the menu
minus, of course, the little dark cloud?
'course when we signed up for forever
we had no idea it was in here
i guess always is all this and then some
i guess at least that much is clear
and whenever i look at you
you know, i always just see through
and i always just see new things
the sky is grey, the sand is grey, and the ocean is grey. i feel right at
home in this stunning monochrome, alone in my way. i smoke and i drink and
every time i blink i have a tiny dream. but as bad as i am i'm proud of the
fact that i'm worse than i seem. what kind of paradise am i looking for? i've
got everything i want and still i want more. maybe some tiny shiny thing will
wash up on the shore. you walk through my walls like a ghost on tv. you
penetrate me and my little pink heart is on its little brown raft floating out
to sea. and what can i say but i'm wired this way and you're wired to me, and
what can i do but wallow in you unintentionally? what kind of paradise am i
looking for? i've got everything i want and still i want more. maybe some tiny
shiny key will wash up on the shore. regretfully, i guess i've got three
simple things to say. why me? why this now? why this way? overtone's ringing,
undertow's pulling away under a sky that is grey on sand that is grey by an
ocean that's grey. what kind of paradise am i looking for? i've got everything
i want and still i want more. maybe some tiny shiny key will wash up on the
she was cuffed to the truth like the truth was a chair with a bright interrogation
light in her eyes. and her conscience with a cigarette just stood there,
waiting for her to crack, waiting for her to cry. they scampered through the
room like a roach across a wall. yeah, they made her skin sore. yeah, they
made her skin crawl. they said, "we got this confession. we just need for
you to sign. why don't you just cooperate? make this easier on us all? make
this easier on us all... just make this easier on us all." there was
light and then there was darkness. and there was no line in between. and asking her heart for
guidance was like pleading with a machine. yeah, cause joy
it has its own justice and my dreams are languid and lawless. and everything
bows to beauty when it is fierce and it is flawless... when it
is fierce... when it is flawless..." on the table were two zip-loc baggies
containing her eyes and her smile. they said we're keeping these as evidence until
this thing goes to trial. meanwhile anguish was fingering solace in another room down the hall.
both were love's accomplices but solace took the fall. now look at her book of
days, it's the same on every page. she's got a little tin cup with her heart
in it to bang along the bars of her rib cage... to bang along the bars of her
rib cage... there was light and then there was darkness. and there was no line
in between. and asking her heart for guidance was like pleading
with a machine. cause joy it has it's own justice and my dreams are made with
all of us. they said "everything bows to beauty when it is fierce and it is
flawless... when it is fierce... when it is flawless..." fierce...
tiptoeing through the used condoms
strewn on the piers
off the west side highway
sunset behind the skyline of jersey
walking towards the water
with a fetus holding court in my gut
my body highjacked
my tits swollen
I'm sore
the river has more colors at sunset than my sock drawer ever dreamed of
I could wake up screaming sometimes
but I don't
I could step off the end of this pier
but I've got shit to do
and I've an appointment on tuesday
to shed uninvited blood and tissue
I'll miss you I say to the river
to the water
to the son or
daughter I thought better of
I could fall in love with jersey at sunset
but I leave
the view
to the rats
got a garden of songs where i grow all my thoughts
wish i could harvest one or two for some small talk
i'm always starving for words when you're around
nothing on my tongue so much in my ground
half the time i got my gaze trained on your motel door
fourth door from the end
rest of the time my gaze lays like a stain on the carpeted floor
if it weren't for my brain i'd go over and make friends
too bad about my brain 'cause i'd like to make friends.
see the little song bird unable to make a sound
even though she follows her words from town to town
we both have gardens of songs and maybe its okay
i wish i didn't have this nervous laugh
i wish i didn't say half the stuff i say
i wish i could just learn to cover my tracks
i guess i'm not concerned about getting away
'cause every time i try to hold my tongue
it slips like a fish from a line
they say if you want to play
you should learn how to play dumb
i guess i can't bring myself to waste your time
'cause we both know what i've been doing
i've been intentionally bad at lying
you're the only boy i ever let see through me
and i hope you beleive me when i say i'm trying
and i hope i never improve my game
yeah i'd rather have these things weighing on my mind
and at the end of this tunnel of guilt and shame
there must be a light of some kind
there must be a light of some kind
i must have blown a fuse or something
cause it was so dark in my mind
she came up to me with the sweetest face
and she was holding a light of some kind
and i still think of you as my boyfriend
i don't think this is the end of the world
but i think maybe you should follow my example
and go meet yourself a really nice girl
'cause we both know. . .
in the end the world comes down to just a few people
but for you it comes down to one
but no one ever asked me if i thought i could be
everything to someone
there's a crowd of people harboured in every person
there are so many roles that we play
and you've decided to love me for eternity
i'm still deciding who i want to be today
hour follows hour
like water follows water
everything is governed by the rule
of one thing leads to another
you can't really place blame
cuz blame is much to messy
some was bound to get on you
while you were tryin to put it on me
and don't fool yourself
into thinking things are simple
nobody's lying still the stories don't line up
why do you try to hold on
to what you'll never get a hold on
you wouldn't try to put the ocean
in a paper cup
cuz i have had something to prove
as long as i know thers something
that needs improvment
and you know that every time i move
i make a woman's movement
and first you decide
what you've gotta do
then you go out and do it
and maybe the most we can do
then you go out and do it
and maybe the most we can do
is just to see eachother through it
hour follows hour like water in a river
and from one to the next
we don't know what each hour will deliver
we just call it like we see it
call it out loud as we can
and then afterwards we call it all water over the dam
maybe the moral higher ground
ain't as high as it seems
maybe we are both good people
done some bad things
i just hope it was okay
i know it wasn't perfect
i hope in the end we can laugh
and say it was all worth it
cuz i have had something to prove
as long as i know something
that needs improvement
and you know that everytime i move
i make a woman's movement
and first you decide what you've gotta do
then you go out and do it
and maybe the most that we can do
is just to see eachother through it
we make our own gravity to give weight to things
then things fall and they break and gravity sings
we can only hold so much is what i figure
try and keep our eye on the big picture
picture keeps getting bigger
and too much is how i love you
but too well is how i know you
and i've got nothing to prove this time
just something to show you
i guess i just wanted you to see
the big day has come
the bell is sounding
i run my hands through my hair one last time
outside the prison walls
the town is gathering
people are trading crime for crime
everyone needs to see the prisoner
they need to make it even easier
they see me as a symbol, and not a human being
that way they can kill me
say it's not murder, it's a metaphor
we are killing off our own failure
and starting clean
standing in the gallows
everyone turned my way
i hear a voice ask me
if I've got any last words to say
and i'm looking out over the field of familiar eyes
somewhere in a woman's arms a baby cries
i think guilt and innocence
they are a matter of degree
what might be justice to you
might not be justice to me
i went to far, i'm sorry
i guess now i'm going home
so let any amongst you cast the first stone
now we've got all these complicated machines
so no one person ever has to have blood on their hands
we've got complex organizations
and if everyone just does their job
no one person has to understand
you might be the wrong colour
you might be too poor
justice isn't something just anyone can afford
you might not pull the trigger
you might be out in the car
and you might get a lethal injection
'cause we take a metaphor that far
the big day has come
the bell is sounding
i run my hands through my hair one last time
outside the prison walls
the town has gathered
people are trading crime for crime
people are trading crime for crime
I want somebody who sees the pointlessness
and still keeps their purpose in mind
I want somebody who has a tortured soul
some of the time
I want somebody who will either put out for me
or put me out of misery
or maybe just put it all to words
and make me say, you know
I never heard it put that way
make me say, what did you just say?
I want somebody who can hold my interest
hold it and never let it fall
someone who can flatten me with a kiss
that hits like a fist
or a sentence, that stops me like a brick wall
because if you hear me talking
listen to what I'm not saying
if you hear me playing guitar
listen to what I'm not playing
and don't ask me to put words
to all the spaces between notes
in fact if you have to ask, forget it
do and you'll regret it
I'm tired of being the interesting one
I'm tired of heving fun for two
just lay yourself on the line
and I might lay myself down by you
but don't sit behind your eyes
and wait for me to surprise you
I want somebody who can make me
scream until it's funny
give me a run for my money
I want someone who can
twist me up in knots
tell me, for the woman who has everything
what have you got?
I want someone who's not afraid of me
or anyone else
in other words I want someone
who's not afraid of themself
I'm gonna turn
and walk away
you can wait
til I am far along
then run and come
and catch my arm
and say you'd die
if I were gone
I want to hear you
call my name
it's too easy
just to say it soft
I don't like my language
watered down
I don't like my edges
rounded off
I can't always wait
for your circumstance to improve
love is loose it
shifts each time you move
go ahead, put my back
against the wall
give it all up
or don't give it to me at all
you never know this could be
our last night
so step back
step back into the light
so I can see your sillouette
I'm not done looking yet
safe the profile for the camera
give me your eye to eye
I know all your secrets
and you know all of mine
mostly I don't go
for the soft focus and the fantasy
I need something real
I can think
and say and see so
I'm going to turn
and walk away
you wait til I am far along
then run and come
and catch my arm
and say you'd die
if I were gone
yes I'm going to turn
and walk away
you can watch me go
No no no no no no no no no no no no
No more
No no no no no no no no no no no no
No more
No no no
No more
It's gonna be sudden
It's gonna be strange
I'm gonna turn on a dime
Give you five cents change
It's gonna be long overdue
It's all gonna come out
Outta me, on to you
Outta me, onto you...
One of these days
You're gonna push too hard
We'll go on like we've always done
'Til you go too far
Yeah one of these days
It's gonna reach the top
Then it's gonna start to spill
And it's not gonna stop
Outta me, onto you...
No more...
Some people wear their smile like a disguise
Those people who smile a lot
Watch the eyes
I know it 'cuz I'm like that a lot
You think everything's okay
And it is
'Til it's not
Outta me, onto you...
No more
Some people wear their heart
Up on their sleeve
I wear mine underneath my right pant leg
Strapped to my boot
Don't think cause i'm easy, i'm naive
Don't think I won't pull it out
Don't think I won't shoot
Outta me, onto you...
Most people like to talk a lot
Including you
You know there isn't much I have to say
That I wouldn't rather
Just shut up and do
I'm gonna miss you
When you're gone
Yeah I'm gonna be torn
Just remember that I love you
Just remember you were warned
Outta me, onto you...
No more...
No more
you can't get through it
you can't get over it
you can't get around
just like in a dream
you'll open your mouth to scream
and you won't make a sound
you can't believe your eyes
you can't believe your ears
you can't believe your friends
you can't believe you're here
and you're not gonna get through it
so you are going down
i put a cup out on the window sill
to catch the water as it fell
now i got a glass half full of rain
to measure the time between
when you said you'd come
and when you actually came
little mister limp dick
is up to his old tricks
and thought he'd call me
one last time
but i'm just about done
with the oh-woe-is-me shit
and i want everything back
death
has been your lover
he has brought you
the edges of your life
and now you are looking over
and all we can say is
it's gonna be all right
and I am looking forward
to looking back on these days
when on every corner
someone holds a sign
that says I'm homeless
I'm hungry and
I have AIDS
how will they define our generation
in the coming decades
who will tell the story
and what will they say?
will they say the victims
were thought of as criminals
while the guilty sat on high
deciding their fate
ticking off statistics in their spare time
tell me,
which is the crime?
may you never test positive
pregnancy
may you never be the receptacle of blame
may you never be the scapegoat
for a whole
world full of shame
may you never be fighting for your life
and at the same time
have to fight for your name
there are too few who open both eyes
we sit back in our easy chairs
and we try to sympathize
whether from the point of a needle or
the edge of our beds
we too, like too many others,
could be dead
our actions
will define us
before a single definition can be said
yeah, so what if god is testing us
what if that's true
what are you going to do
what is the answer
amazing grace
how sweet the sound
that saved a wretch like me
i once was lost
but now i'm found
was blind but now i see
'twas grace that taught
my heart to fear
and grace my fears relieved
how precious did
that grace appear
the hour i first believed
through many dangers
toils and snares
i have already come
'twas grace that brought me
safe thus far
and grace will lead me home
and when this heart
and flesh shall fail
and mortal life shall cease
i shall possess
within the vail
tonight you stooped to my level
i am your mangy little whore
you are trying to find your underwear
and then your socks and then the door
and you're trying to find a reason
why you have to leave
i know it's 'cuz you think you're adam
and you think i'm eve
you rhapsodize about beauty
and my eyes glaze
everything that i love is ugly
i mean really, you would be amazed
just do me a favor
it's the least that you can do
just don't treat me like i am
something that happened to you
i am truly sorry about all this
you put a tiny pinprick
in my big red balloon
and as i slowly start to exhale
that's when you leave the room
i did not design this game
i did not name the stakes
i just happen to like apples
and i am not afraid of snakes
i am truly sorry about all this
i envy your ignorance
i hear that it's bliss
so i let go of the ratio
of things said to things heard
and i leave you to your garden
and the beauty you preferred
and i wonder what of this
will have meaning for you
when you've left it all behind
i guess i'll even wonder
if you meant it
I am evening the score
I am cutting the umbilical cord
curled with my teeth against my knees
I am scratching at my consciousness
like a bitch with fleas
I think you'll be greatly pleased
to learn that yours was the hardest
itch to relieve
this is me
without my hair
welcome to my open stare
I got nothing to hide no more
why disguise what isn't there
I am an eyesore
I am a detour
you can find me crying on
the shoulder of the road
and I will tell you
what you want to hear
before you go
and that is that
yours was the hardest itch to relieve
yours was the hardest itch to relieve
I've mapped out my course
looks like it's all uphill
I've got a heavy heart to carry
but a very strong will
it's just hard to travel
in the shadow
of regret
in fact it's so hard
she sat there like a photograph
of someone much further away
we shared a brief bus stop
on one of those inbetween days
she gave me her smile
and I looked underneath
at the lipstick on her teeth
she asked me for a light
and if I thought her hair looked okay
we grew out of the small talk
into stuff strangers just don't say
we discovered we are both
pleasently furious half of the time
when we're not just toeing the line
we sat underneath the shelter
as the rain came down outside
the bench was cold
against the underside of our thighs
I said I think we need new responses
each question's a revolving door
and she said, yeah,
my life may not be something special
but it's never been lived before
we decided our urgency will wane
when we grow old
and there will be a new generation of anger
new stories to be told
but I said, I don't know if I can wait
for that peace to be mine
and she said, well, you know,
we've been waiting for this bus
i'm losing my love of adventure
i'm losing all respect
for me and myself tonight
i wonder what happens if i get to
the end of this tunnel
and there isn't a light
ive worn down the treads
on all of my tires
i've worn through the elbows
and the knees of my clothing
and i'm stumbling down
the gravel driveway of desire
trying not to wake up
my sleepy self-loathing
do you ever have that dream
when you open your mouth
and you try to scream
but you can't make a sound
that's everyday starting now
that's everyday starting now
dont tell me it's gonna be alright
you can't sell me on your optimism tonight
it's a stiff competition
to see who can stay up later
the stars or the street lights
and all they really want
is to be alone with the darkness
no more wish i may
no more wish i might
it takes a stiff upper lip
just to hold up my face
i gotta suck it up and savor
the taste of my own behavior
i am spinning with longing
faster then a roulette wheel
this is not who i meant to be
this is not how i meant to feel
i don't think i am strong enough
to do this much longer
god, i wish i was stronger
this song could never be long enough
to express every longing
we can touch
touch our girl cheeks
and we can hold hands
like paper dolls
we can try
try eachother on
in the privacy
within new york city's walls
we can kiss
kiss goodnight
and we can go home wondering
what would it be like if
if I did not have a boyfriend
we could spend
the whole night
I am waking up
in her bed
I sing 1st avenue
the open window said
always late to sleep
late to rise
lying here watching the day go by
in the living room
there are people on the carpet
having stupid conversations
just to hear themselves talk
and I am drifting through
I am heading for the kitchen
you cease to smell the steel plant
after you've lived there for a while
smoke is snow is ash are leaves that blow
through the air aloft
all our houses dim their sliding
to the same soot gray style
and we hang our laundry out on sundays
when they turn the furnaces off
everybody's daddy works up on the line
the stienbrenners and the wilczewskis
have been there the longest time
everybody's mommy squints into the sun
sunday afternoon after all the laundry's done
sometimes a distant siren
can set a dog to barking late at night
then it dominos on down
til every dog is joining in
the first rumours of the layoffs
sang like a distant siren might
and we all perked up our ears
and paced the fence
of the ensuing din
every night, we were glued to the tv news
at six o'clock
cuz it was hard to tell what was real
and what was talk
they explained about the cutbacks
all the earnest frowns
but what they didn't say was that the plant
was slowly shutting down
this town is not the kind of place
that money people go
they make their jokes up on the tv
about all the snow
and they're building condos downriver
from where the plant had been
but nobody really lives here
now that the air is clean
the president assured us
it was all gonna trickle down
like it'd be raining so much money
that we'd be sad to see the sun
mr. wilczewski's brother had some business
out in denver
so they left denver
and everybody knows they were the lucky ones
you cease to smell the steel plant
We all feel the same
All pleasure nothing to gain
I've known you from the start
I've grown used to your wooden heart
Now you know my name
You search your empty brain in vain
If you don't change your ways
You'll end up here with me ungraced
Without you they'll never know
Without you my life won't flow
Without you they'll never show
Without you the night won't go
Without you I'm left alone
Without you I'm on my own
Without you I lay in pain
Without you I've gone insane
Now you must decide
What good's a lie when you've nothing to hide
Maps they'll never show
They're dumb like you, they never know
It's time we said goodbye
Bury your head and silence your cry
Know the feel of pain
Join our world and play our game
Without you they'll never know
Without you my life won't grow
Without you they'll never show
Without you the night won't go
Without you I'm left alone
Without you I'm on my own
Without you my life's a waste
Just for you I wrap my face
Without you I'm left alone
Without you I'm on my own
Without you I lay here in pain
Without you I've gone insane
Whatever you may think of me
Don't ever take my dignity (x4)
Whatever you may do to me
Don't crucify my dignity
I stood there beside myself
Thinking hard about the weather
Then came by a friend of mine
Suggested we go out together
Then I knew it from the start
This friend of mine would fall apart
Pretending not to see his gun
I said let's go out and have some fun
I know you know
We believe in a land of love
I know you know
We believe in a land of love
I have always thought about
Staying here and going out
Tonight I should have stayed at home
Playing with my pleasure zone
He has always been so strange
I'd often thought he was deranged
Pretending not to see his gun
I said let's go out and have some fun
I know you know
We believe in a land of love
I know you know
We believe in a land of love
Gonna go out to the arrivals gate at the airport
And sit there all day
Watch people reuniting, public affection so exciting
It even makes airports okay
Watching children run with their arms outstretched
Just to throw those arms around their grandpa's necks
Watching lovers plant kisses
Old men to their misses at the arrivals gate
Watching a mother with a mother's smile
Don't tell me to move, I just wanna sit here for a while
I have determined, it's a sure cure for cancer
Watching excitement turn family dogs into dancers
At the arrivals gate, at the arrivals gate
At the arrivals gate, at the arrivals gate
I got me a white bread sandwich with some shredded lettuce
And then I got me a ringside view for my quaint little fetish
I just wanna drain my little pink heart of all its malice
And kick back for the afternoon in this fluorescent palace
Everybody's in a hurry here in purgatory except for me
I'm where I need to be, except for me
I'm where I need to be, except for me
he said ani, you've gotten tough
'cause my tone was curt
yeah, and when I'm approached in a dark alley
I don't lift my skirt
in this city
self-preservation
is a full time occupation
I'm determined
to survive on this shore
you know I don't
avert my eyes anymore
in a man's world
I am a woman by birth
and after nineteen times around I have found
they will stop at nothing once they know what you are worth
talk to me now
I played the powerless
in too many dark scenes
and I was blessed with a birth and a death
and I guess I just want some say in between
don't you understand
in the day to day
and the face to face
I have to act
just as strong as I can
just to preserve a place
where I can be who I am
so if you still know how
I've been waiting to hear your voice for too long now
One way conversations do not work somehow
Tell me how does one get your soul in touch with the one above
When one way conversations pay a price for the use of love
I tried so hard last night you would not talk to me
I live with the fear of the few with the gift
And I know what's going to be
Why did you never speak my name in front of my family
You gave a gift that you then took away
Like you never did before
Your name might be God but you don't say that much to me
Your name might be God but you don't say that much to me
We might be your black sheep
But you forgot us a long time ago
We might be your lost sheep
But it's time you remembered us now
As we spend our days together, nothing can go wrong
No one told the truth about it because it was so strong
If you ever think of me, if you hear my name
If you read between the lines, you'll hang your head in shame
These ears will never hear, the ice will never freeze
Whatever I have done for you I did because you complained
( Whatever you may think of me whatever you may say
I've lived my whole life in danger,
You've lived your life in hate )*
Hello, everyone, it's nice to be here
I've come so far to see you all
I can see your deep blue eyes
They sleep beneath the open sky
Before you stands one like your brother
Swear to God he needs no other
But how can I afford to be
Here with you so carelessly
You know what you did was so unkind
You search for the life we need to find
There's right and there's wrong
And there's good and there's bad
And there's an answer to this I wish I had
Oh, you know what I mean, yes you do
Oh, you know what I mean, yes you do
Well we had a party in our hotel last night
It ended up in an awful fight
My friend left me and my heart too
I hope I don't end up like you
Oh, you know what I mean, yes you do
Oh, you know what I mean, yes you do
Your country is a wonderful place
It pales my England into disgrace
To buy a drink that is so much more reasonable
I think I'll go there when it gets seasonable
You know what you did was so unkind
You search for the life you need to find
There's right and there's wrong
And there's good and there's bad
And there's an answer to this I wish I had
Oh, you know what I mean, yes you do
Oh, you know what I mean, yes you do
she says forget what you have to do
pretend there is nothing
outside this room
and like an idea she came to me
but she came too late
or maybe too soon
I said please try not to love me
close your eyes, I'm turning on the light
you know I have no vacancy
and it's awfully cold outside tonight
the rain stains the brick a darker red
slowly I'm rolling out of her bed
the rain stains the streets a darker black
I dress my face in stone
because I can't go back
I feel her eyes watching me
from behind the curtain of her hair
and she says I'm sorry
I didn't mean to stare
I say I think I really have to go now
but oh baby, maybe someday
tending the garden of noise
when I grow the traffic
and the churchbells
and the neighborhood boys
singing to myself
as the solitude sets in
in tune with the symphony
of south brooklyn
I sing
rockabye, rockabye baby
rockabye, the baby that is me
rockabye, rockabye baby
rockabye til I'm fast asleep
the tunnel is train torn
the tracks are worn and sore
I can feel the rattle
riding up through the floor
she jumped the turnstyle
he paid for his ride
I am the echo in the station
where their footfalls collide
I left her at the epicenter
we were trembling dutifully
I left him too
I left parts of me
singing rockabye...
I said today I am leaving
in every sense of the word
but I'm in love with your memory already
everything I've seen and heard
and I will go singing
as the solitude sets in
in time with the rythym
of everywhere I have been
Ever since I've seen your face
This life of mine has gone to waste
I was young and you were old
And I always knew you were cold
At the start you had a heart
But in the end you lost your friend
Can you see your own dark face?
It's dieing in a lonely place
Oh, how I cannot bear the thought of you
I said, oh, how I cannot bear the thought of you
As we get old, we lose our place
Reflecting back the world's disgrace
I feel so low, I feel so humble
Sometimes in life we take a tumble
Don't let anybody tell you that you're no good
Cause you know they would
Don't let anybody tell you what you should do
Cause it's not that way and...
Oh, how I cannot bear the thought of you
I said, oh, how I cannot bear the thought of you
We were young and we were pure
And life was just an open door
I said oh, oh, how I cannot bear the thought of you
You were me and I was you
This world of ours it felt brand new
You took me a little further...
I heard it all before, I've heard it all before
I can't hear it anymore
Your hair was long, your eyes was blue
Guess what I'm gonna do to you
Oh, how I cannot bear the thought of you
I said, oh, how I cannot bear the thought of you
We were young and we were pure
And life was just an open door
I said oh, oh, how I cannot bear the thought...
Oh, how I cannot bear the thought of you
I said oh, oh, how I cannot bear the thought of you
We were young and we were pure...
the butter melts out of habit
the toast isn't even warm
the waitress and the man in the plaid shirt
play out a scene they've played
so many times before
I am watching the sun stumble home in the morning
from a bar on the east side of town
and the coffee is just water dressed in brown
beautiful but boring
he visited me yesterday
he noticed my fingers
and asked me if I would play
I didn't really care a lot
but I couldn't think of a reason why not
I said if you don't come any closer I don't mind if you stay
my thighs have been involved in many accidents
and now I can't get insured
and I don't need to be lured by you
my cunt is built like a wound that won't heal
and now you don't have to ask
because you know how I feel
you know how I feel
art is why I get up in the morning
but my definition ends there
and it doesn't seem fair
that I'm living for something I can't even define
there you are right there
in the meantime
I don't want to play for you anymore
show me what you can do
tell me what are you here for
I want my old friends
I want my old face
I want my old mind
fuck this time and place
the butter melts out of habit
I opened a bank account
when I was nine years old
I closed it when I was eighteen
I gave them every penny that I'd saved
and they gave my blood
and my urine
a number
now I'm sitting in this waiting room
playing with the toys
and I am here to exercise
my freedom of choice
I passed their handheld signs
went through their picket lines
they gathered when they saw me coming
they shouted when they saw me cross
I said why don't you go home
just leave me alone
I'm just another woman lost
you are like fish in the water
who don't know that they are wet
as far as I can tell
the world isn't perfect yet
his bored eyes were obscene
on his denim thighs a magazine
I wish he'd never come here with me
in fact I wish he'd never come near me
I wish his shoulder
wasn't touching mine
I am growing older
waiting in this line
some of lifes best lessons
are learned at the worst times
under the fierce flourescent
she offered her hand for me to hold
she offered stability and calm
and I was crushing her palm
through the pinch pull wincing
my smile unconvincing
on that sterile battlefield that sees
only casualties
never heros
my heart hit absolute zero
Lucille, your voice still sounds in me
mine was a relatively easy tragedy
now the profile of our country
looks a little less hard nosed
but that picket line persisted
and that clinic's since been closed
they keep pounding their fists on reality
hoping it will break
but I don't think there's a one of us
it's not so much that we got closer
it's that her face just go tbigger
and by the time it was filling up my whole view
i figured my face had got bigger too
so i used it ot try and way her
say something to her
make my case
but my face
never had a chance
all along it was the wrong song and dance
i just stood there
without even a stance
helpless to her advance
and her retreat
backspace, delete
it wasn't so much that we fell in love as
my life just seemed to come down
to a slow walk on a straight line
between her smile and her frown
and maybe we never were as close
as we should have been
but i didn't know what i now now, then
I know this bar
With a jukebox full of medicine
And christmas lights blinking
Around a clouded mirror
Its not that far
From Voelkers Bowling alley
Just go up there and turn right
Its about 3 blocks from here
You'll probably find grace
Her shift starts at happy hour
She's got this sweet face
Easy as tea leaves to read
You gotta know what to look for
You gotta know what's there to find
But I guess you don't really know her
So nevermind
I used to hang out a lot around there
In that part of town
Where all the white kids
still have feathered hair
I know this song
With this one really killer line
I don't remember it exactly
But it slays me everytime
Its on the jukebox there
Number 5403
Go put that song on for me won't you
in walked a man in the shape of a man
holding a hat-shaped hat
he held up two fingers and said 'how many fingers?"
and i said 'Peace man, that's where it's at"
i said you are what you do in order to
prevent becoming what you're busy not doing
and if you do do it truly
then you arrive at it newly
then in the end you are absolved
and the problem of heaven is solved
and the man broke into a smile,
like he was breaking into a song
and he was broken and smiling
and i was singing along
and we agreed completely agreetly about most things
'til the sun set sweetly
like it does in those paintings
the ones they hang in hotel rooms
the ones they bolt to the wall
as though anyone would want to steal them at all
we talked like children without breathing
'til i stopped this lady as she was leaving
and i said 'excuse me,
but do you know what time it would be
if we were on mars ?'
and she held up her hand
like a crossing guard stopping the cars
and she said
five in the morning
in walked a man
in the shape of a man
I opened the fire door
to four lips
none of which were mine
kissing
tightened my belt around my hips
where your hands were missing
and stepped out into the cold
collar high
under the slate grey sky
the air was smoking and the streets were dry
and I wasn't joking when I said
Good Bye
magazine quality men talking on the corner
French, no less much less of them then us
so why do I feel like something's been rearranged?
you know, taken out of context I must seem so strange
killed a cockroach so big
it left a puddle of pus on the wall
when you and I are lying in bed
you don't seem so tall
I'm singing now because my tear ducts are too tired
and my brain is disconnected but my heart is wired
I make such a good statistic
someone should study me now
somebody's got to be interested in how I feel
just 'cause I'm here
and I'm real
oh, how I miss
substituting the conclusion to confrontation with a kiss
and oh, how I miss
walking up to the edge and jumping in
like I could feel the future on your skin
I opened the fire door
to four lips
none of which were mine
kissing
come
come away
come away from
come away from it
next to the glass ashtray
in a little plastic baggy
is a bitter rock remedy
really good stuff
but i take offense to the fact
that you're so hell bent
are you trying to tell me this world
just isn't beautiful enough?
do you want to get off?
is this your stop?
do you gotta have a tripledecker super fudge sundae
with a goddamn cherry on top?
i mean, what makes you so lavish
that you can afford
to spend every sober moment feeling angry and bored
why don't you come
come away
come away from it
why?
we used to hold hands down
those unfamiliar streets
you used to take me diving
into the watery blue deep
but now you're trying to find every tiny treasure
every shiny penny of pleasure
satisfy every selfish purpose
before you swim back up to the surface
why don't you come
come away
come away from it
you think that i just don't like it anymore
but i'll tell you what i don't like
i don't like that i had to put the training wheels
back onto your bike
and i don't like the extravagance
or the way you taste when i kiss you
i don't like being left alone
baby, don't you think i miss you?
why don't you come
come away
come away from it
How pleased can one sun setting make you
If you humble yourself to it?
How grateful can you really say that you are
Just to be here and live through it?
And when beauty asks a question
How often do you reply?
How often do you wonder
About life on the other side?
On the other side of sorrow
On the other side of rage
On the other side of okay
Okay at all in any way
Imagine what loneliness
Will drive someone to do
Now multiply that times me
And multiply that times you
Now imagine what it would take
To make this all happen again
And just when you think you're gonna cry
Multiply that times ten
You are distracting me from all other activities
And I know the fact of your presence
Will dominate my memory of this restaurant
This table, this day and this town
'tis of thee
they caught the last poor man
on a poor man's vacation
they cuffed him and confiscated his stuff
they dragged his black ass down to the station
and said, ok, the streets are safe now
all your pretty white children can come out and see spot run
and they came out of their houses
and they looked around
but they didn't see no one
my country 'tis of thee
to take swings at each other on the talkshow tv
why don't you just go ahead and turn off the sun
cuz we'll never live long enough
to undo everything they've done to you
undo everything they've done to you
above 96th street
they're handing out smallpox blankets so people don't freeze
the old dogs have got a new trick
it's called criminalize the symptoms
while you spread the disease
and i hold on hard to something
between my teeth when i'm sleeping
i wake up and my jaw aches
and the earth is full of earthquakes
my country 'tis of thee
to take swings at each other on the talkshow tv
why don't you just go ahead and turn off the sun
cuz we'll never live long enough
to undo everything they've done to you
undo everything they've done to you
they caught the last poor man
flying away in a shiny red cape
they took him down to the station
and they said, boy, you should've known better
than to try to escape
i ran away with the circus
cuz there's still some honest work left for bearded ladies
since they put everyone in jail
exceot the cleavers and the brady's
my country 'tis of thee
to take swings at each other on the talkshow tv
why don't you just go ahead and turn off the sun
cuz we'll never live long enough
to undo everything they've done to you
Pavlov hits me with more bad news every time I answer the phone
so I play and I sing and I just let it ring,
all day when I'm at home
a defacto choice of
macro-microcosmic melancholy
but baby any way you slice it,
I'm thinkin I could just as soon use the time alone
yeah the goons have gone global
and the CEO's are shredding files
and the democrans and the republicrats
are flashing their toothy smiles
and Uncle Tom is posing for a photo-op with the oval office klan
and Uncle Sam is riggin' cockfights in the promised land
and that knife you stuck in my back is still there
it pinches a little when I sigh and moan
and these days I'm thinkin I could just as soon use the time alone
cause all the wrong people have the power of suggestion
and the freedom of the press is meaningless if nobody asks the question
I mean causation by definition is such a complex compilation of factors
that to even try to say why is to oversimplify
that's a far cry, isn't it dear, from acting like you're the only one there
unrepentantly self-centered and unfair
enter all suckers scrambling for the truth
exit mr. eye-contact who took his flirt and flew the coup
but whatever, no matter, no fishin trips, no fishin
cause momma's officially out of commission
and did I mention in there somewhere
did I mention somewhere in there
that I traded Babe Ruth,
yes I traded the only player
that was bigger than the game
and I can't even tell you why,
cause you'd think I'm insane.
and that's the truth
and the music industry mafia is pimping girl power
sniping off sharp-shooter singles from their styrofoam towers,
and hip-hop is tied up in the back room with a logo stuffed in its mouth
cause the master's tools will never dismantle the master's house
but then, I'm getting away from myself
as I get closer and closer home
and the difference between you and me baby
is I get fucked up when I'm alone
and I must admit today
that my inner pessimist seems to have gotten the best of me
we start out sugared up on kool aid and manifest destiny
and then we memorize all the presidents names like little trained monkeys
and we spit into the world so many spinny-eyed TV junkies
incapable of unraveling the military-industrial mystery
pre-emptively passified with history book history
and I've been around the world now and I can see this about America
the mind control is deep here, man
the myopia is steep here, man
and behold those who try to expose the reality
really try to realize democracy
are shot with rubber bullets and gassed off the streets
while the global power brokers are kept clean and discreet
behind a wall
behind a moat
and that is all
that's all
that's all she wrote
and my heart beats an s-s-s o-o-o s-s-s
cause folks just really couldn't care-care-care less-less-less
as long as every day is superbowl sunday
and larger than life women in lingerie are pouting at us from every bus stop
she loves me, she loves me not
she loves me, she loves me not
she loves me, she loves me not
and "big government should not stand between a man and his money"
i mean, "what's good for business is good for the country"
our children still take that lie like communion,
the same old line the Confederacy used on the Union
conjugate liberty into libertarian
and medicated associated with deregulation privitization
we won't even know we're slaves on a corporate plantation
somebody say hallelujah,
somebody say damnation,
cause the profit system follows the path of least resistance
and the path of least resistance is what makes the river crooked
makes it serpentine
capitalism is the devil's wet dream
so just give me my Judy garland drugs and let me get back to work
cause the empire state building is the tallest building in New York
and I have always got the feeling
you just like to hear it fall off your tongue
but I remember my name in your mouth
and I don't think I was done hearing it close to my ear
on a whisper's way to a moan
Pavlov hits me with more bad news every time I answer the phone
so I play and I sing and just let it ring,
all day when I'm at home
a defacto choice of
macro-microcosmic melancholy
but baby any way you slice it,
you think you're not worthy
I'd have to say I agree
I'm not worthy of you
you're not worthy of me
which of us is deserving
look at the human race
the whole planet at arm's length
and we don't deserve this place
what good is a poker face
when you've got an open hand
I was supposed to be cool about this
yeah
I remember
cool was the plan
tried to keep it all under wraps
but the wraps kept going slack
I keep turning round
I keep coming back
give me a vertical
your horizontal line
I want to take each of them
bend them to divine
the world is too good for me
I am such a naughty girl
but when we're together
we're too good for this world
you think you're not worthy
I'd have to say I agree
I'm not worthy of you
you're not worthy of me
I'm not worthy of you
I can no longer watch TV
Cause that shit really melts my brain
I think I’m what they call sensitive
And easily thrown off my game
All that bloodshed and pettiness
Just makes the world seem so insane
And I just feel drained
When I go to do my food shopping
And all I can see is the packaging
One big mountain of garbage
About to be happening
And I walk past my own self-loathing
Like I walk past animals in the zoo
Trying not to really see them
And the prison they didn’t choose
If I should ever quit your spotlight
I hope you won’t think me wrong
Says the poet to the moonlight
Says the singer to the song
It’s enough just to stay upright
Upright in every single way
Pour your love into your children
Until there’s nothing left to say
Pour your love into your children
Until there’s nothing left to say
coming of age during the plague
of reagan and bush
watching capitalism gun down democracy
it had this funny effect on me
i guess
i am cancer
i am HIV
and i'm down at the blue jesus
blue cross hospital
just lookin' up from my pillow
feeling blessed
and the mighty multinationals
have monopolized the oxygen
so it's as easy as breathing
for us all to participate
yes they're buying and selling
off shares of air
and you know it's all around you
but it's hard to point and say "there"
so you just sit on your hands
and quietly contemplate
your next bold move
the next thing you're gonna need to prove
to yourself
what a waste of thumbs that are opposable
to make machines that are disposable
and sell them to seagulls flying in circles
around one big right wing
yes, the left wing was broken long ago
by the slingshot of cointelpro
and now it's so hard to have faith in
anything
especially your next bold move
or the next thing you're gonna need to prove
to yourself
you want to track each trickle
back to its source
and then scream up the faucet
'til your face is hoarse
cuz you're surrounded by a world's worth
of things you just can't excuse
but you've got the hard cough of a chain smoker
and you're at the arctic circle playing strip poker
and it's getting colder and colder
everytime you lose
so go ahead
make your next bold move
tell us
what's the next thing you're gonna need to prove
the wind
was applauding
my passing
your house
how tempting, I keep your key still on my ring
I have half a mind to open the gate
how easy to climb your fire escapes of steel
so familiar
oh I feel like two
of the plain of the face of you
I was hidden by the night
but not enough
every night came back to me
and the wind just passed by
disappointedly
how weak am I that I can't
no I can't
how can I go home
with nothing to say
I know you're going to look at me that way
and say what did you do out there
and what did you decide
you said you needed time
and you had time
you are a china shop
and I am a bull
you are really good food
and I am full
I guess everything is timing
I guess everything's been said
so I am coming home with an empty head
you'll say did they love you or what
I'll say they love what I do
the only one who really loves me is you
and you'll say girl did you kick some butt
and I'll say I don't really remember
but my fingers are sore
and my voice is too
you'll say it's really good to see you
you'll say I missed you horribly
you'll say let me carry that
give that to me
and you will take the heavy stuff
and you will drive the car
and I'll look out the window making jokes
about the way things are
how can I go home
with nothing to say
I know you're going to look at me that way
and say what did you do out there
and what did you decide
you said you needed time
Wishin', and hopin', and thinkin', and prayin',
Plannin' and dreamin' each night of his charms,
That won't get you into his arms.
So if your're looking for love, you can share,
All you gotta to is hold him, and kiss him, and love him,
And show him that you care.
Show him that you care, just for him.
Do the things that he likes to do.
Wear your hair just for him,
'Cause you won't get him
Thinkin' and a prayin',
Wishin' and a hopin',
'Cause wishin', and hopin', and thinkin', and prayin',
Planning and dreamin'
His kisses will start.
That won't get you into his heart.
So if you're thinking how great true love is,
All you gotta do is hold him,
And kiss him,
And squeeze him,
And love him,
Just do it,
And after you do,
You will be his.
Show him that you care just for him.
Do the things that he likes to do.
Wear your hair just for him,
'Cause, you won't get him,
Thinkin' and a prayin',
Wishin' and a hopin'.
'Cause wishin',
And hopin',
And thinkin',
And prayin',
Planning
And dreamin'
His kisses will start.
That won't get you into his heart.
So if you're thinking how great true love is,
All you gotta do is hold him,
And kiss him,
And squeeze him,
And love him,
Just do it,
And after you do,
You will be his.
You...will...be...his.
you will be his!
they stole a few elections,
still we the people won
We voted out corruption and
big corporations
we voted for an end to war
new direction
we ain't gonna stop now
until our job is done
come on all good workers
this year is our time
Now there some folks in washington
who cares what's on our minds
come one-come all voters
lets all vote next time
show 'em which side are you on now
which side are you on
which side are you on now
which side are you on
which side are you on now
which side are you on
which side are you on now
which side are you on
which side are you on now
which side are you on
30 years of diggin'
got us in this hole
the curse of reaganomics
has finally taken it's toll
lord knows the free market
is anything but free
it costs dearly to the planet
and the likes of you and me
i don't need those money lenders
suckin' on my tit
a little socialism
don't scare me one bit!
we could do a whole lot worse
than europe or canada
c'mon mr. president
c'mon congress make the law
which side are you on now
which side are you on
which side are you on now
which side are you on
they say in orleans parish
there are no neutrals there
there's just too much misery
there's too much despair
america who are we
now our innocence is gone
which side are you on now
which side are you on
too many stories written
out in black and white
c'mon people of privilege
it's time to join the fight
are we living in the shadow of slavery
or are we moving on
tell me which side are you on now
which side are you on
which side are you on boys
which side are you on
which side are you on boys
which side are you on
which side are you on boys
which side are you on
which side are you on now
which side are you on
my mother was a feminist
she taught me to see
that the road to ruin is paved
with patriarchy
so, let the way of the women
guide democracy
from plunder and pollution
let mother earth be free
feminism ain't about women
no, that's not who it is for
it's about a shifting consciousness
that'll bring an end to war
so listen up you fathers
listen up you sons
which side are you on now
which side are you on
which side are you on now
which side are you on
which side are you on now
which side are you on
so are we just consumers
or are we citizens
are we gonna make more garbage
or are we gonna make amends
are you part of the solution
or are you part of the con?
which side are you on now
virtue is relative at best
there's nothing worse than a sunset
when you're driving due west
and i'm afraid that my love
is gonna come up short
there is no there there
i guess i'm scared
cuz i want to have good news to report
every time i come up for air
now i'm cruising through a chromakey blue sky
and i know that in an hour or three
the sun is gonna be in my eyes
and i know that sometimes all i can see
is how i feel
like the whole world is on the other side
of a dirty windshield
and i'm tryin to see through the glare
yes i'm struggling just to see what's there
the one person who really knows me best
says i'm like a cat
yeah the kind of cat that you just can't pick up
and throw into your lap
no, the kind that doesn't mind being held
only when its her idea
yeah, the kind that feels what she decides to feel
when she is good and ready to feel it
and now i am prowling through the backyard
and i am hiding under the car
i have gotten out of everything
ive gotten into so far
i eat when i am hungry
and i travel alone
and just outside the glow of the house
is where i feel most at home
but in the window you sometimes appear
Dig if you will the picture
Of you and I engaged in a kiss
The sweat of your body covers me
Can you my darling
Can you picture this?
Dream if you can a courtyard
An ocean of violets in bloom
Animals strike curious poses
They feel the heat
The heat between me and you
How can you just leave me standing?
Alone in a world that's so cold? (so cold)
Maybe I'm just too demanding
Maybe I'm just like my father too bold
Maybe you're just like my mother
She's never satisfied (she's never satisfied)
Why do we scream at each other
This is what it sounds like
When doves cry
Touch if you will my stomach
Feel how it trembles inside
You've got the butterflies all tied up
Don't make me chase you
Even doves have pride
How can you just leave me standing?
Alone in a world so cold? (world so cold)
Maybe I'm just too demanding
Maybe I'm just like my father too bold
Maybe you're just like my mother
She's never satisfied (she's never satisfied)
Why do we scream at each other
This is what it sounds like
When doves cry
How can you just leave me standing?
Alone in a world that's so cold? (a world that's so cold)
Maybe I'm just too demanding (maybe, maybe I'm like my father)
Maybe I'm just like my father too bold (ya know he's too bold)
Maybe you're just like my mother (maybe you're just like my mother)
She's never satisfied (she's never, never satisfied)
Why do we scream at each other (why do we scream, why)
This is what it sounds like
When doves cry
When doves cry (doves cry, doves cry)
today we are only whatall is nice about us
today we turned on in the blue light of dawn
and made love
and you were not a dot dot dot
waiting for me to complete you
and it was like i just forgot
to measure everything that i do
we woke up with the notion
that enough is not enough without more
and then we pushed with one motion
like the ocean heaves a wave at the shore
and you were not a dot dot dot
leaning forward expectantly
and i was not in such a rush
to insure my autonomy
what what what what what did you think you were doing?
how how how how how did you think this would go?
when when when when when you showed up on my radar
where where where where where did you think you would show?
what what what what what do you make of this station
how how how how how it pulls away from the train?
when when when when when if at all will you realize
where where where where where do and done are the same?
what what what what what now you're out in the open
how how how how how do you think you can hide?
when when when when when will you find some nice soft sand
where where where where where you can bury your pride?
what what what what what do you want from this lifetime?
how how how how how does your story line flow?
when when when when when you finally get to the punch line
where where where where where will the applause sign go?
and why why why why why don't you just take your bow
welcome to
no amount of stoned makes you feel ok
welcome to
this year's alone - brought to you by christmas day
welcome to
the darkness into which prayin people pray
it's quiet here except for this song
now that everybody's gone
but hey
least you don't have to play along today
welcome to
something like elation when you first open your eyes
just cuz it means
that you musta finally got to sleep last night
welcome to
the precipice between groundlessness and flight
it's quiet here except for this song
now that everybody's gone
but hey
least you don't have to play along today
besides which
welcome to
taking the good stuff down off of the shelf
and welcome to
the art of conversation with yourself
welcome to
humming an unbroken tune
all day long
yes it's quiet here
but hey
least you don't have to play along today
welcome to:
no amount of stoned makes you feel ok
welcome to:
this year's alone - brought to you by Christmas day
welcome to:
the darkness into which prayin people pray
it's quiet here except for this song
now that everybody's gone
but hey
least you don't have to play along today
welcome to:
something like elation when you first open your eyes
just cuz it means
that you musta finally got to sleep last night
welcome to:
the precipice between groundlessness and flight
it's quiet here except for this song
now that everybody's gone
but hey
least you don't have to play along today
besides which
welcome to:
taking the good stuff down off of the shelf
and welcome to:
the art of conversation with yourself
welcome to:
humming an unbroken tune
all day long
yes it's quiet here
but hey
think i'm going for a walk now
i feel a little unsteady
i don't want nobody to follow me
'cept maybe you
i could make you happy you know
if you weren't already
i could do a lot of things
and i do
tell you the truth i prefer
the worst of you
too bad you had to have a better half
she's not really my type
but i think you two are forever
and i hate to say it but
you're perfect together
so fuck you
and your untouchable face
and fuck you
for existing in the first place
and who am i
that i should be vying for your touch
and who am i
i bet you can't even tell me that much
two-thirty in the morning
and my gas tank will be empty soon
neon sign on the horizon
rubbing elbows with the moon
a safe haven of sleepless
where the deep fryer's always on
radio is counting down
the top 20 country songs
and out on the porch the fly strip is
waving like a flag in the wind
y'know, i don't look forward
to seeing you again soon
you'll look like a photograph of yourself
taken from far far away
and i won't know what to do
and i won't know what to say
except fuck you...
i see you and i'm so perplexed
what was i thinking
what will i think of next
where can i hide
in the back room there's a lamp
that hangs over the pool table
and when the fan is on it swings
gently side to side
there's a changing constellation
of balls as we are playing
i see orion and say nothing
the only thing i can think of saying
The light blue flickering rhythm
Of the neighbor's big console T.V.
Is basking on the ceiling
Of another insomniac spree
And outside sleep's open window
Between the drops of rain
History is writing a recipe book
For every earthly pain
Oh to clean up the clutter of echoes
Coming in and out of focus
Words spoken
Like locusts
Sing and sing
In my head
And thing is
They often seem
In my memory's long dream
To be superfluous to
The true story of what was
Real is real regardless
Of what you try to say
Or say away
Real is real relentless
While words distract and dismay
Words that change their tune
Though the story remains the same
Words that fill me quickly
And then are slow to drain
Dialogues that dither down reminiscent
Of the way it likes to rain
Every screen
A smoke screen
Oh to dream
Just for a moment
The picture
Outside the frame
Then in a flash
The light blue horizon
Spanning a sudden black
Is sucked into the vanishing point
And quiet rushes back
To search for the downbeat
In a tabla symphony
To search in the darkness
For someone who looks like me
(Though I'm not really who I said I was
Or who I thought I'd be)
Just a collection of recollections
Conversations consisting
Of the kind of marks we make
When we're trying to get a pen to work again
A lifetime of them!
Cough...cough...ahem...
I say to me
Now here listening
I say to the locusts
That sing and sing to me sitting
Now here on the front porch swing of my eyes...
I hereby amend
Whatever I've ever said
the sun is settin on the century
and we are armed to the teeth
we are all working together now
to make our lives mercifully brief
schoolkids keep trying to teach us
what guns are all about
confuse liberty with weaponry
and watch your kids act it out
every year now like christmas
some boy gets the mildfed surburban blues
reaches for the avaliable aresenal
and saunters off to make the news
and women in the middle
are learning what poor women have always known
that the edge is closer than you think
when your men bring the guns home
look at where the profits are
that's how you'll find the source
of the big lie that you and i
both know so well
it the time it takes this cultural
death wish to run its course
they're gonna make a pretty penny
and then they're all going to hell
he said the chickens all come home to roost
yeah, malcom forecasted this flood
are we really gonna sleep through another century
while the rich profir off our blood?
true, it may take some doing
to see this undoing done
but in my humble opinion
here's what i suggest we do:
open fire on hollywood
open fire on MTV
open fire on NBC
and CBS and ABC
open fire on the NRA
and all the lies they told us
along the way
open fire on each weapons manufacturer
while he's giving head
to some republician senator
and if i hear one more time
about fool's rights
to his tools of rage
I'm gonna take all my friends
and i'm gonna move to canada
(instrumental)
the slant
a building settling around me
my figure female framed crookedly
in the threshold
of the room
door scraping floorboards
with every opening
carving a rough history
of bedroom scenes
the plot hard to follow
the text obscured
in the fields of sheets
slowly gathering the stains
of seasons spent lying there
red and brown
like leaves fallen
the colors of an eternal cycle
fading with the
wash cycle
and the rinse cycle
again an unfamiliar smell
like my name misspelled
or misspoken
a cycle broken
the sound of them strong
stalking talking about their prey
like the way hammer meets nail
pounding, they say
pounding out the rhythms of attraction
like a woman was a drum like a body was a weapon
like there was something more they wanted
than the journey
like it was owed to them
steel toed they walk
and I'm wondering why this fear of men
maybe it's because I'm hungry
and like a baby I'm dependent on them
to feed me
I am a work in progress
dressed in the fabric of a world unfolding
offering me intricte patterns of questions
rhythms that never come clean
hello
it's me
I'm returning your call
it's monday wednesday friday
between noon and three
he says I
usually just let the phone ring
but I've always got a minute of time
for the next big thing
and I wonder
how can he see where he's going
with those dollar signs in front of his eyes?
I say thank you
for your interest
but my thing is already
just the right size
hello
it's me
yes I'll play for the door
nothing more
on a tuesday
he says baby
what is your name
I forgot
he says baby
tell me again
are you really hot
and I think
he does not hear what I'm saying
he's just looking at my eight by ten
and wondering about
the part that was left out
does she have a body
that will really draw them in?
how much do you want
how much are you willing to do
baby this is no business
for a sweet little girl like you
can you play the game
act it out
frame for frame
do you know your lines
let's hear them one more time
but I'd rather pay my dues
to the six people
sitting at the bar
than to all those men
in their business suits
who say I'll take you away from this
if you'll just
I'm calling from the diner
the diner on the corner
I ordered two coffees
one is for you
I was hoping you'd join me
'cause I ain't go no money
and I really miss you
I should mention that too
yes I know what time it is
in fact, I just checked
I even know the date
and the month
and the year
I know I haven't been sleeping
and when I do
I just dream of you
dear
I miss watching you
drool on your pillow
I miss watching you
pull on your clothes
I miss listening
to you in the bathroom
flushing the toilet
blowing your nose
I'm calling from the diner
the diner on the corner
I ordered two coffees
one is for you
the cups are so close
the steam is rising
in one stream
how are you
I think you're the least fucked up
person I've ever met
and that may be as close to the real thing
as I'm ever gonna get
but my quarter's gonna run out now
or so I'm told
I guess I'd better go sit down
and wait for you
I shut my mouth
Cause they are the law
And I am alone
Ohhh, the boys in blue
Have decided I need a good talking to
Though I've done nothing wrong
He is less than polite
I guess I'm not his type
And while he has his fun
The whole time he has his hand on his gun
My friends, they say
You'll have to grow your hair
And watch what you wear
If you want them, to go away
Otherwise, stay out of sight
And be thankful that you are white
I shut my mouth
Cause they are the law
And I am alone
Ohhhh, the boys in blue
(instrumental)
a cold and porcelain lonely
in an old new york hotel
a stranger to a city
that she used to know so well
bathing in a bathroom
that is bathed in the first blue light
of the beginning of a century
at the end of an endless night
then she is wet behind the ears and wafting down the avenue
pre-rush hour
post-rain shower
stillness seeping upwards like steam
from another molten sewer
summer in new york
they've been spraying us with chemicals in our sleep
us / they
something about the mosquitoes having some kind of disease
them / me
CIA foul play
if you ask the guy selling hair dryers out of a gym bag
chemical warfare
"i'm telling you, lab rat to lab rat," he says, "that's where the truth is at"
that's where the truth is at
that's where the truth is at
and everything seems to have gone terribly wrong that can
but one breath at a time is an acceptable plan
she tells herself
and the air is still there
and this morning it's even breathable
and for a second the relief is unbelievable
and she's a heavy sack of flour sifted
her burden lifted
she's full of clean wind for one lean moment
and then she's trapped again
reverted
caged and contorted
with no way to get free
and she's getting plenty of little kisses
but nobody's slippin' her the key
her whole life is a long list of what ifs
and she doesn't even know where to begin
and the pageantry of suffering therein
rivals television
tv is, after all, the modern day roman coliseum
human devastation as mass entertainment
and now millions sit jeering
collectively cheering
the bloodthirsty hierarchy of the patriarchal arrangement
she is hailing a cab
she is sailing down the avenue
she's 19 going on 30
or maybe she's really 30 now ...
it's hard to say
it's hard to keep up with time once it's on its way
and, you know, she never had much of a chance
born into a family built like an avalanche
and somewhere in the 80s between the oat bran and the ozone
she started to figure out things like why
one eye pointed upwards looking for the holes in the sky
one eye on the little flashing red light
a picasso face twisted and listing down the canvas
of the end of an endless night
10 9 8 seven six 5 4 three 2 one
and kerplooey
you're done.
you're done for.
you're done for good.
so tell me
did you?
did you do
I am out here studying stones
Trying to learn to be less alive
Using all of my will
To keep very still
Still even on the inside
I've cut all of the pertinent wires
So my eyes can't make that connection
I am holding my breath
I am feigning my death
When I'm looking in your direction
'Course numb is an old hat
Old as my oldest memories
See that one's my mother
And that one's my father
And that one in the hat, that's me
It's a skill I'd hoped to abandon
When I got out on the open road
But any more pent up emotion
And I think I'm gonna explode
There's never been an endeavor so strange
As trying to slow the blood in my veins
To keep my face blank
As a stone that just sank
Until not a ripple remains
I am high above the tree line
Sitting cross legged on the ground
When all of the forbidden fruit has fallen and rotted
That's when I'm gonna come down
'Course numb is an old hat
Old as my oldest memories
See that one's my mother
And that one's my father
And that one in the hat, that's me
It's a skill I'd hoped to abandon
When I got out on the open road
But any more pent up emotion
she came to and her
whole life was how she remembered it
she had a mouth full of fur
and she was laughing
she parked her hearse across
three spaces posted motorcycles only
and jumped out shouting
wha the cus could make a nice girl like us
feel so lonely?
are you weary as water
in a faucet left dripping
with an incessant sadness
like a sad record skipping
and an ugly and ornery
and shadowy dread
lurking like a troll under the bridge
between your heart and your head
please dumb blind kind sir
lend little miss listless a little bit of christmas
she's been a real good girl
but now she's stuck here
the world is so little and still
mysterious and ominous as ever before
like an unmarked bottle of pills
on the shelf right next to the thing
you were reaching for
swing the groove 'round here
where i can reach it
when i get my ass back on track
i'm gonna need it
swing shift til i get the money
to buy me and my baby a moon full of honey
then i'm gonna turn off the nagging voices
inside my head
that follow me to bed and say
you suck...
("break it down" freestyle by Corey Parker added to this song during some performances)
if you dig it on the sound
break it down
no walls up, break it down
break it down
happiness spread it all around
break it down
racism stomp it in the ground
break it down
so if you dig it on the sound
break it down
no walls up, break it down
break it down
ignorance stomp it in the ground
break it down
happiness spread it all around
break it down
check, who said folk and hip-hop can't match
put us together on the stage and light a match
kaboom, guess who stepped in the room
sweeping you off your feet like we had a broom
with ani difranco and maceo
add a little freestyle flow and who knows
put a little scratchin' into the mix
and it's enough to get you high if you need a fix
so, if you dig it on the sound
break it down
no walls up, break it down
break it down
ignorance stomp it in the ground
break it down
happiness spread it all around
break it down
if you dig it on the sound
break it down
no walls up, break it down
break it down
racism stomp it in the ground
break it down
happiness spread it all around
break it down
so, if you dig it on the sound
break it down
sleepwalking through the all-nite drugstore
baptized in flourescent light
i found religion in the greeting card aisle
now i know hallmark was right
and every pop song on the radio
is suddenly speaking to me
yeah, art may imitate life
but life imitates t.v.
'cuz you've been gone exactly two weeks
two weeks and three days
and let's just say that things look different now
different in so many ways
i used to be a superhero
no one could touch me
not even myself
you are like a phone booth
i somehow stumbled into
and now look at me
i am just like everybody else
if i was dressed in my best defenses
would you agree to meet me for coffee
if i did my tricks with smoke and mirrors
would you still know which one was me
if i was naked and screaming
on your front lawn
would you turn on the light and come down
screaming, there's the asshole
who did this to me
stripped me of my power
stripped me down
i used to be a superhero
no one could touch me
not even myself
you are like a phone booth
i somehow stumbled into
and now look at me
i am just like everybody else
yeah you've been gone exactly two weeks
two weeks and three days
and now i'm a different person
different in so many ways
tell me what did you like about me
don't say my strength and daring
'cuz now i think i'm at your mercy
and it's my first time for this kind of thing
i used to be a superhero
i would swoop down and save me
from myself
you are like a phone booth
that i somehow stumbled into
and now look at me
i am just like everybody else
Sunday morning
Slow beats seething
Through the screens in
The open windows
Eggs frying
Legs shaking
After we stayed lying
So long in bed
Sunday morning
Both of us reading
And looking up occasionally
Looking up occasionally
Sunday morning
You're doing your thing
And I am doing mine
Speaking words
More a formality
Cuz we can feel we
Are of one mind
Sunday morning
Sheets still warm
Kitties swarming
Around our feet
Life comes easy
Your sweet company
Making it so complete
Of all the Monday through Fridays
We joined the crusade
Of all the Saturday nights
In which we were made
Of all the exorcisms
I've done with your ghosts
Still it's Sunday morning
well your arms hang parallel to the curtains
your gaze falls perpendicular to the floor
your resign yourself to the hurting
the lines in your brow are deeper than before
don't misunderstand
I just wanna be your friend
well a phone call is a phone call
is not the means to an end
your t-shirt's white across your chest
loose around your neck
your eyes come to rest on my face
indirect, there's been tears shopping here?
in the market for solutions, you know, its so hard to find clear answers
these days
I think that a thing of the past
they just don't make them to last anymore
and it seems to me I'll miss love in the effort it infers
and her legs are longer
but mine are stronger than hers
and I told you I wouldn't hold you down
I would only make you happy and I wouldn't let you drown
now you say you're submerged in me
well I'm out here writing dirges
can't you see I need to be free?
you laugh and you smile and you say you'll agree
but you continue with your kisses
oh you love those near-misses
can't you see the only thing I ask
the only slant
is the only thing you won't grant me
just turn out the light
unlock the door
tell me you feel alright, even better than before
show me you can be strong
I'm sorry I didn't sound more excited on the phone
I'm sorry that after all these years
I've left you feeling unrequited and alone, brought you to tears
I guess I never loved you quite as well as the way you loved me
I guess I'll never really be able to tell you how sorry
I am
And I don't know what it is about you
I just know it's not what it was
I don't know why red fades before blue it just does
and I don't know what it is about me
that I just can't keep still
I keep thinking someday I will make this all up to you
and maybe someday I will
I guess I never loved you quite as well
as the way you loved me
I guess I'll never really be able to tell you how sorry
I am
sorry I am
sorry I am
she was hungry so hungry
she was trying to think clear
she kept opening the fridge door
looking at the mustard and the beer
then finally she went out into the rain
carrying her bicycle chain
and her feet worked the pedals
while her appetite steered
after that she just followed her nose
and fate is not just whose cooking smells good
but which way the wind blows
she laid down in her party dress and never got up
needless to say she missed the party
she just got sad
then she got stuck
she was wincing like something brittle trying hard to bend
she was numb with the terror of losing her best friend
but we never see things changing
we only see them ending
and some vicious whispering voice
keeps saying you have no choice
you have no choice
cuz when i look at you i squint
you are that beautiful
and my pussy is a tractor
and this is a tractor pull
i'm haunted by my illicit, explicit dreams
and i can't really wake up
so i just drift in between
thinking the glass is half empty
and thinking it's not quite full
the pouring rain is no place for a bicycle ride
try to hit the brakes
and you slide
and you slide
and you slide
Everybody’s looking over your shoulder
Seems they can't wait to hear what’s next
Everybody’s saying she’s looking older
Could it be there is a cruel sun
Next to all this endless adulation?
All this reckless fatuation
And I will stay with you tonight
In case this corset gets too tight
And I will keep you company
Cuz that’s what a sister should be
So they said it was the year of the woman
I believe it was the year of sex
maybe this should be the year of the human
that would be a big complex
For all these endless aberrations
From meaningful expectations
I will stay with you tonight
In case this corset gets too tight
And I will keep you company
Cuz that’s what a sister should be
Everybody’s looking under your mattress
seems they can’t wait to find that pea
maybe you were never quite the princess
Everybody was afraid you’d be
And all these endless presentations
Must affect your concentration
So I will stay with you tonight
In case this corset gets too tight
And I will keep you company
You're a wild one
I like your smile
You do amazing things
And I can't believe you're everything
You've got perfect fingers
A velvet voice
Your eyes hold the key
And I can't believe you can see
Please hold me
Please know me
And know everything
Everything
Do you understand
You're a wise man
I feel happy when
You talk about most anything
With those perfect fingers
You've touched my heart
And you give me strength
When we're apart
Please hold me
Please know me
And know everything
It's all right here
You've got perfect fingers
And they've touched my heart
Oh they give me strength
To be apart
Please hold me
Please know me
It's all right here
It's all right here.
Please hold me
Please show me
what's with that halo hovering
above that thick skull
spare me
if I do say so - I think you're covering
'course there was nothing
could've prepared me
for the side effect of this dirty drug
the way you punish me and then you shrug
what's with that phone call, baby
it's like you're trying
just trying to crush me
do you feel stronger each time you push me, dear
did you tell your mom you carpet bombed
before you left here
and is it just the side effect of this dirty drug
or does each apology sound more like a shrug
are you at home now with your kitty cats
are you just at home now with the way that you act
do you split the rent there with all your secrets
or do you just pretend to all your friends
they're uninvited guests
yes and when you want it tidy tell me
can you still dispel me
sweep me neatly under the rug
does your conscience ever mention
the way that you treat me
pavlov hits me with more bad news
every time i answer the phone
so i play and i sing and i just let it ring
all day when i'm at home
a defacto choice of macro
or microcosmic melancholy
but, baby, any way you slice it
i'm thinkin i could just as soon use
the time alone
yes, the goons have gone global
and the CEOs are shredding files
and the democrins and the republicrats
are flashing their toothy smiles
and uncle tom is posing for a photo op
with the oval office clan
and uncle sam is rigging cockfights
in the promised land
and that knife you stuck in my back is still there
it pinches a little when i sigh and moan
and these days i'm thinkin i could just as soon use
the time alone
cuz all the wrong people have the power
of suggestion
and the freedom of the press is meaningless
if nobody asks a question
i mean, causation by definition
is such a complex compilation of factors
that to even try to say why
is to oversimplifly
but that's a far cry, isn't it dear?
from acting like you're the only one there
unrepentantly self-centered and unfair
enter all suckers scrambling for the scoop
exit mr. eye contact
who took his flirt and flew the coop
but whatever
no matter
no fishin trips
no fishin
cuz mamma's officially out of commission
and did i mention
in there
somewhere
did i mention
somewhere
in there
that i traded babe ruth?
yes, i traded the only player that was bigger than the game
and i can't even tell you why
cuz you'd think i'm insane
and that's the truth
and the music industry mafia is pimping girl power
sniping off their sharpshooter singles from their styrofoam towers
and hip hop is tied up in the back room
with a logo stuffed in its mouth
cuz the master's tools will never dismantle the master's house
but then
i'm getting away from myself
as i get closer and closer to home
and these days i'm thinkin
i could just as soon use
the time alone
an i must admit
today my inner pessimist
seems to have got the best of me
we start out sugared up on kool-aid and manifest destiny
and we memorize all the president's names
like little trained monkeys
and then we're spit into the world
so many spinny-eyed t.v. junkies
incapable of unravelling the military industrial mystery
preemptively pacified with history book history
an i've been around the world now
and i can see this about america
the mind control is steep here, man
the myopia is deep here
and behold
those that try to expose the reality
who really try to realize democracy
are shot with rubber bullets and gassed off the streets
while the global power brokers are kept clean and discreet
behind a wall
behind a moat
and that is all
that's all she wrote
an my heart beats an sss o o o sss
cuz folks just couldn't care care care less less less
as long as every day is superbowl sunday
and larger than life women in lingerie
are pouting at us from every bus stop
shelovesme shelovesmenot shelovesme shelovesmenot...
and 'big government should not stand between a man and his money'
cuz 'what's good for business is good for the country'
our children still take that lie like communion
the same old line the confederacy used on the union
conjugate liberty
into libertarian
and medicate it
associate it
with deregulation
privatization
we won't even know we're slaves
on a corporate plantation
somebody say hallelujah!
somebody say damnation!
cuz the profit system follows the path of least resistance
and the path of least resistance is what makes the river crooked
makes it serpentine
capitalism is the devil's wet dream
so just give me my judy garland drugs
and let me get back to work
cuz the empire state building
is the tallest building in new york
and i always got the feeling
you just liked to hear it fall
off your tongue
but i remember my name
in your mouth
and i don't think i was done
hearing it close to my ear
on a whisper's way to a moan
but pavlov hits me with more bad news every time i answer the phone
so i play and i sing and i just let it ring all day when i'm at home
a defacto choice of macro
or microcosmic melancholy
but baby, any way you slice it
i'm thinkin i could just as soon use
the time alone
second intermission
anticipation
you know the third act
small talk drops out of the play
you're standing in the lobby
tightening your tourniquet
waiting for it
waiting for it
and then the bell sounds
and the lights flash
and there's all these questions milling around
and there's no time to ask
no bliss for little miss leading
she's learning about bleeding
but what is love if not exquisite?
our only saving grace or is it?
and somewhere inside your iris
blooms the reflection of my surprise
as you stroll past every last do not enter
and touch me at my epicenter
and the bell sounds
and the lights flash
and there's all these questions milling around
and there's no time to ask
i'm always trying to get there
i never really get there
to that quiet place where i accept myself
instead i'm deep inside some high school
locker room no clothing
popping the zits of my self-loathing under fluorescent lights
and the bell sounds
and the lights flash
and there's all these questions milling around
and you're too ashamed to ask
second intermission
anticipation
you know the third act
small talk drops out of the play
you're standing in the lobby
tightening your tourniquet
waiting for it
waiting for it
seems like you just
started noticing
how noticably bad things really are
and when you walked past this couple arguing
in a rolled up window
of a parked car
and all of that
gesticulated bitterness
and all of that
muffled yelling hell
its dark just starts wafting at you
like a big fury rat died
inside of that wall kinda smell
breathe like it's rolling like a cold front
thunder is thundering and lightening in tow
and your tiny little life gets
even smaller
as you heed the heaven's mighty show
and I don't mean heaven
like god-like
the animal in me knows very well
nature is our teacher, our leader, and our lover
and god is just another story that we tell
and you're trying not to grasp-not to start grasping
at straws -or sticks- or stones
just learn how to sit inside your sadness
even if you're sitting there alone
it's just like Icarus ascending
never intending to look back
nature's law and your tragic flaw
I find descending
flying into the arms of a Venus flytrap
guzzle till the buzzer stops
guzzle till the buzzer stops
guzzle till the buzzer stops
guzzle till the buzzer stops
it's rock paper scissors as to whether i will get over you at all. it's
hand against hand and both hands are mine. it's standing in a circular line,
which is not to say that i'm not also happy. a happy meal with a surprise
inside. surprise, surprise is another bright light in my eyes, exposing all
the stuff i'm not calculating enough to hide. this melancholy that i carry
makes me feel so grown up at the kitchen table doing shots of resignation. i
never thought i'd see the day when i would i say i give up and tame the
stallions of my wildest expectations. but i do not want to know you this way,
surrounded by so much pain. but how am i supposed to let go of you this way,
like a bird into the sky of my brain? i think i could accept all these dark
colors as just part of some bigger color scheme if it wasn't for that drippy
string quartet of sadness underscoring each smiling scene. yeah desire drags
me right out of myself like a gas soaked rope tied to a piece of coal. and i'm
getting pretty good at looking at the bright side while the flames ripple on
the sand and swallow me whole. but this melancholy that i carry makes me feel
so grown up at my kitchen table doing shots of resignation. i never thought
i'd see the day when i would say i give up and break the stallions of my
wildest expectations. but i do not want to know you this way surrounded by so
much pain/ but how am i supposed to let go of you this way like a bird into
you can doubt anything if you think about it long enough. cause what
happened always adjusts to fit what happened after that. and it's hard to feel
like you are free. all you seem to do is referee. i remember when it was just
you and me steppin' up to bat. and win or lose, just that we chose, this
little war is what kills us. and either or it's that this war is, maybe also
what thrills us. we thought we left possession behind. the truth is i was
yours and you weren't mine. i've replayed a thousand times exactly what was
said. cause nothing is as it appears. and the fun house mirrors of your fears
on a roller coaster of all these years with your hands above your head. and
win or lose, just that we chose, this little war is what kills us. and either
or it's that this war is, maybe also what thrills us. and you know i don't
care how fast you run just tell me baby that when you're done with your little
marathon that you still have cab fare home. cause the finish line is a shifty
thing and what is life with reckoning? and baby you are still the song i sing
to myself when i'm alone. and win or lose just that you chose this little war
is what kills you. and either or it's that this war is, maybe also what
who knew
at this party that I
would walk in and I'd see you.
I guess now
we could just get drunk
yeah, that could be our excuse
you could slip
from out of nowhere
i could be there to catch your fall
we could laugh
at ourselves
and the writing that's on the wall
it's a narrow margin
just room enough for regret
in the inch and a half between
hey, how ya been?
can I kiss you yet?
so we talk, like
nervous neighbors over a tall fence
true love, but for the lack of providence
but I just got one more
thing to tell you
'cuz words are vitamins
and life is short
and I know when we get up
to the front office
We're gonna have to fill out
a full report
and the first question will be
what were you thinking?
and the next question will be
what did you say?
then they're gonna check to see
if the answers to one and two
matched up much
along the way
in the interest of poetry
and the cowboy movie
that's you and me
I'm back on the horse now
and I am riding
I am striding so effortlessly
what I mean is
it's late
much to late for us
and I'm fixing to go home
with just my conscious
and a bitter sense of irony
as my chaperone
Pistol shots ring out in the barroom night
Enter Patty Valentine from the upper hall
She sees the bartender in a pool of blood
Cries out, "My God, they killed them all"
Here comes the story of the hurricane
The man, the authorities came to blame
For somethin' that he never done
Put in a prison cell, but one time he could-a been
The champion of the world
Three bodies lyin' there, does Patty see?
And another man named Bello, movin' around mysteriously
"I didn't do it," he says, and he throws up his hands
"I was only robbin' the register, I hope you understand
I saw them leavin'" he says, and he stops
"One of us had better call up the cops"
And so Patty calls the cops
And they arrive on the scene with their red lights flashin'
In the hot New Jersey night
Meanwhile, far away in another part of town
Rubin Carter and a couple of friends are drivin' around
Number one contender for the middleweight crown
Had no idea what kinda shit was about to go down
When a cop pulled him over to the side of the road
Just like the time before and the time before that
In Paterson that's just the way things go
If you're black you might as well not show up on the street
'Less you wanna draw the heat
Alfred Bello had a partner and he had a rap for the cops
Him and Arthur Dexter Bradley were just out prowlin' around
He said, "I saw two men runnin' out, they looked like middleweights
They jumped into a white car with out-of-state plates"
And Miss Patty Valentine just nodded her head
Cop said, "Wait a minute, boys, this one's not dead"
So they took him to the infirmary
And though this man could hardly see
They told him that he could identify the guilty men
Four in the mornin' and they haul Rubin in
Take him to the hospital and they bring him upstairs
The wounded man looks up through his one dyin' eye
Says, "Wha'd you bring him in here for? He ain't the guy"
Yes, here's the story of the hurricane
The man the authorities came to blame
For somethin' that he never done
Put in a prison cell, but one time he could-a been
The champion of the world
Four months later, the ghettos are in flame
Rubin's in South America, fightin' for his name
While Arthur Dexter Bradley's still in the robbery game
And the cops are puttin' the screws to him
Lookin' for somebody to blame
"Remember that murder that happened in a bar?"
"Remember you said you saw the getaway car?"
"You think you'd like to play ball with the law?"
"Think it might-a been that fighter that you saw runnin' that night?"
"Don't forget that you are white"
Arthur Dexter Bradley said, "I'm really not sure"
Cops said, "A poor boy like you could use a break
We got you for the motel job and we're talkin' to your friend Bello
Now you don't wanta have to go back to jail, be a nice fellow
You'll be doin' society a favor
That sonofabitch is brave and gettin' braver
We want to put his ass in stir
We want to pin this triple murder on him
He ain't no gentleman Jim"
Rubin could take a man out with just one punch
But he never did like to talk about it all that much
It's my work, he'd say, and I do it for pay
And when it's over I'd just as soon go on my way
Up to some paradise
Where the trout streams flow and the air is nice
And ride a horse along a trail
But then they took him to the jailhouse
Where they try to turn a man into a mouse
All of Rubin's cards were marked in advance
The trial was a pig-circus, he never had a chance
The judge made Rubin's witnesses drunkards from the slums
To the white folks who watched he was a revolutionary bum
And to the black folks he was just a crazy nigger
No one doubted that he pulled the trigger
And though they could not produce the gun
The D.A. said he was the one who did the deed
And the all-white jury agreed
Rubin Carter was falsely tried
The crime was murder one, guess who testified?
Bello and Bradley and they both baldly lied
And the newspapers, they all went along for the ride
How can the life of such a man
Be in the palm of some fool's hand?
To see him obviously framed
Couldn't help but make me feel ashamed to live in a land
Where justice is a game
Now all the criminals in their coats and their ties
Are free to drink martinis and watch the sun rise
While Rubin sits like Buddha in a ten-foot cell
An innocent man in a living hell
That's the story of the hurricane
But it won't be over till they clear his name
And give him back the time he's done
Put in a prison cell, but one time he could-a been
Two years ago
Before you felt so familiar
Before I could remember your last name
I remember now
How our bright spring green deepened
With the years the seasons changed
And we were lush as the underside of August
The streets looked like water
They swelled and they shimmered
And they stretch like the sea
And dressed in my best shining skin
And my squiny eyes
I put the miles behind me
And it took us so long to get here
You gotta write between lines
You gotta read between the years
And fleetingly we see ourselves pass
Driving a good thing
And wondering how long can it last
How long can it last
How long can it last
How long can it last
And there was much to forgive
And there was much to forget
It seems we both stood by
While the record was set
And now when I look at you
And when you look at me
It's a much different view
We are both decked out in our history
And it took us so long to get here
You gotta write between the lines
And read between the years
And feetingly we see ourselves pass
Driving a good thing
And wondering, how long can it lost
promiscuity is nothing more than traveling
there's more than one way to see the world
and some of us like to stick close to home
and some of us are Columbus
what can I say?
nature always gets her way
nature always gets her way
and seeing the world through another's eyes
is like busting a window in a house of lies
and in the end you make up your own mind
and there's wide open spaces
and little cornered off places
and check 'em out
check 'em out
take your time
how far is too far?
how much is enough?
you gotta test this stuff
i mean how you gonna know
what you need
what you like
till you been around the block
a few times on that bike
i mean how you gonna know
who you are
what you feel
till you feel a few things
that just don't feel real
and promiscuity is research and development
evolution begs embellishment
and baby you're a star
and you got two invisible eyes on society
and when society gets cruel
make like you're nature's tool
which you are
and nature always gets her way
nature always gets her way
and monogamy is that carnival trophy you earn
when you throw that ball into that urn
it's somewhat dumb luck, somewhat learned
and you just know when it's your turn
and honesty is the hardest part
yeah honesty is the highest art
and honestly i myself just started
and eureka i'm less broken hearted
i mean how you gonna know
what you need
what you like
till you been around the block
a few times on that bike
i mean how you gonna know
who you are
what you feel
till you feel a few things
that just don't feel real
you're taking up lots of space
your shit is everywhere
your breath is all up in my face
your hands are swarming in the air
you're the first one out the car and then
you're the loudest one in the bar
tell me, is there something wrong, girlfriend?
what's with this new version of who you are?
so she lifts her chin and squints at me
to assess what i think i know
she says, my heart has some dangerous neighborhoods
so beware where you try to go
they say that the truth will set you free
but then so will a lie
it depends if you're trying to get to the promised land
or you're just trying to get by
what is a camera but a box of light?
what is a guitar but a box of sound?
you think i don't understand
but i think i might
what it is to harness the emptiness
and just ride it around
and maybe your chest is an empty shell
with ribs of spiraling coral
where a perfect pearl of sadness resides
but if you ever need an ear
i could just come and press it there
listen to the sound of the ocean inside
(instrumental)
i'm a pixie
i'm a paperdoll
i'm a cartoon
i'm a chipper cheerful free for all
and i light up a room
i'm the color me happy girl
miss live and let live
and when they're out for blood
i always give
the man behind the counter looks like he's got
a half a dozen places he'd rather be
and furthermore it looks like he's prepared
to take it all out on me
buddy, i don't really care what your problem is
just don't make it mine
come on kids, let's all hold hands
and pretend we're having a good time
maybe you don't like your job
maybe you didn't get enough sleep
well, nobody likes their job
nobody got enough sleep
maybe you just had
the worst day of your life
but, you know, there's no escape
and there's no excuse
so just suck up and be nice
all the privileged white kids on tv
playing at death
brandishing their cold cuts
with their ghostly makeup
and their heroin breath
and all the little fishes are flapping wildly
on their hooks
while all the top critics find great meaning
in the telephone book
the little emperor he has no clothes
so he can't come out to play
and besides which life is suffering
and he likes it that way
and the little guy is not so friendly
but you know life has been cruel
so wipe that smile off your face baby
and try to be cool
maybe you don't like your job
maybe you didn't get enough sleep
well, nobody likes their job
nobody got enough sleep
maybe you just had
the worst day of your life
but, you know, there's no escape
and there's no excuse
so just suck up and be nice
yeah, i would like to perfect the art
of being studiously aloof
like life is just a boring chore
and i am living proof
i could join forces with an army
of ornery hipsters
but then i guess i'd be out of a job
so i guess that's out of the picture
cuz i'm a pixie
i'm a paperdoll
i'm a cartoon
i'm a chipper cheerful free for all
and i light up a room
i'm the color me happy girl
miss live and let live
and when they're out for blood
i always give
i'm a pixie
i'm a paperdoll
i'm a cartoon
i'm a chipper cheerful free for all
and i light up a room
i'm the color me happy girl
miss live and let live
and when they're out for blood
i always give
the man behind the counter looks like he's got
a half a dozen places he'd rather be
and furthermore it looks like he's preparedd
to take it all out on me
buddy, i don't really care what your problem is
just don't make it mine
come on kids, let's all hold hands
and pretend we're having a good time
maybe you don't like your job
maybe you didn't get enough sleep
well, nobody likes their job
nobody got enough sleep
maybe you just had
the worst day of your life
but, you know, there's no escape
and there's no excuse
so just suck up and be nice
all the privileged white kids on tv
playing at death
brandishing their cold cuts
with their whostly makup
and their heroin breath
and all the little fishes are flapping wildly
on their hooks
while all the top critics find great meaning
in the telephone book
the little emperor he has no clothes
so he can't come out to play
and besides which life is suffering
and he likes it that way
and the little guy is not so friendly
but you know life has been cruel
so wipe that smile off your face baby
and try to be cool
maybe you don't like your job
maybe you didn't get enough sleep
well, nobody likes their job
nobody got enough sleep
maybe you just had
the worst day of your life
but, you know, there's no escape
and there's no excuse
so just suck up and be nice
yeah, i would like to perfect the art
of being studiously aloof
like life is just a boring chore
and i am living proof
i could join forces with an army
of ornery hipsters
but then i guess i'd be out of a job
so i guess that's out of the picture
cuz i'm a pixie
i'm a paperdoll
i'm a cartoon
i'm a chipper cheerful free for all
and i light up a room
i'm the color me happy girl
miss live and let live
and when they're out for blood
just the thought
of our bed
makes me crumble like the plaster
where you punched the wall beside my head
and i try
to draw the line
but it ends up running down the middle of me
most of the time
and boys get locked up in some prison
girls get locked up in some house
and it don't matter if it's a warden
or a lover
or a spouse
you just can't talk to 'em
you just can't reason
you just can't leave
and you just can't please 'em
yeah i was locked
into being my mother's daughter
i was just eating bread and water
thinking
nothing ever changes
and i was shocked
to see the mistakes of each generation
will just fade like a radio station
when you drive
you just gotta drive
out of range
and if you're not angry
then you're just stupid
you don't care
how else can you react
when you know
something's so unfair
when the men of the hour
can kill half the world in war
make them slaves to a super power
and let them die poor
i was locked
into being my mother's daughter
i was just eating bread and water
thinking
nothing ever changes
and i was shocked
to see the mistakes of each generation
will just fade like a radio station
when you drive
you just gotta drive
you just gotta drive
out of range
'cause just the thought
of our bed
makes me crumble like the plaster
where you punched the wall beside my head
and i try
to draw the line
but it ends up running down the middle of me
most of the time
and baby i love you
that's why i'm leaving
there's no talking to you
and there's just no pleasing you
and i care enough
that i'm mad
that half the world don't even know
what they coulda had
i was locked
into being my mother's daughter
i was just eating bread and water
thinking
nothing ever changes
and i was shocked
to see the mistakes of each generation
will just fade like a radio station
when you drive
you just gotta drive
you just gotta drive drive drive drive drive drive
drive out of range
ohhh, out of range
ohhh, out of range
out of range
just the thought
of our bed
makes me crumble like the plaster
where you punched the wall beside my bed
and I try
to draw the line
but it ends up running down the middle of me
most of the time
boys get locked up in some prison
girls get locked up in some house
and it don't matter if it's a warden
or a lover
or a spouse
you just can't talk to 'em
you just can't reason
you just can't leave
and you just can't please 'em
I was locked
into being my mother's daughter
I was just eating bread and water
thinking
nothing ever changes
and I was shocked
to see the mistakes of each generation
will just fade like a radio station
if you drive out of range
If you're not angry
you're just stupid
or you don't care
how else can you react
when you know
something's so unfair
the men of the hour
can kill half the world in war
make them slaves to a super power
and let them die poor
I was locked
into being my mother's daughter
I was just eating bread and water
thinking
nothing ever changes
and I was shocked
to see the mistakes of each generation
will just fade like a radio station
if you drive out of range
just the thought
of our bed
makes me crumble like the plaster
where you punched the wall beside my bed
and I try
to draw the line
but it ends up running down the middle of me
most of the time
baby I love you
that's why I'm leaving
there's no talking to you
and there's no pleasing you
and I care enough
that I'm mad
that half the world don't even know
what they could have had
I was locked
into being my mother's daughter
I was just eating bread and water
thinking
nothing ever changes
and I was shocked
to see the mistakes of each generation
will just fade like a radio station
Do you ever wonder when the damage will be done?
Do you ever feel like one times one times one?
Do your eyes scrape the pavement as you shuffle from the
sun?
Does your breath walk behind you when the dialog is done?
Are you somewhat uninhibited, are you somehow unfree, are
you like me?
Are you a pile of loose brown leaves waiting to be blown,
ready to disown?
Are you grounded by the comforts of home?
Are you covered in a strangling snow?
Are you somewhat uninhibited, are you somehow unfree, are
I come to your town
Like thirsty lips to a cup
I come to your town
And I wanna call you up
I don't know how you feel
But I hope you feel the same
I've broken every speed limit in your name
Sometimes I just wanna bury my head in a hole
Tell me do you have the kind of touch that can console
I wanna hold my hands over my eyes during the scary scenes
Will you stay with me at night and stand guard over my dreams
Will you stand guard over my dreams
You feel like you're out on a long limb
Like you've risked it all
But I'll go out there with you
And when the bough breaks
The cradle will just fall
I'd rather go down knowing what it was like
Than to keep myself company
One more night
One more night
And I've got something new
Something I didn't have before
You were a big dark room
A room without a door
If you will shelter me
I will fill your vacancy
We don't even need the walls, the ceiling, or the floor
And I've got something for you too
Something you probably don't need
You can buy it for the pictures, baby
Find out it's a real good read
I just hope you still want it
Cause I'm bringing it to you
I'm gonna come to your town
I'm gonna call you up
Then I don't know what I'm gonna do
You feel like you're out on a long limb
Like you've risked it all
And if the bough breaks
The cradle will just fall
I'd rather go down knowing what it was like
Than to keep myself company
One more night
One more night
I come to your town
Like thirsty lips to a cup
I come to your town
And I'm gonna call you up
I don't know how you feel
But I hope you feel the same
I've broken every speed limit in your name
And sometimes I just wanna bury my head in a hole
Tell me do you have the kind of touch that can console
I wanna hold my hands over my eyes during the scary scenes
Tell me will you stay with me at night and stand guard over my dreams
Will you stand guard over my dreams
your body
foreshortened
below
your shoulders
your face
so close
it's out
of focus
way down
the hallway
comes the sound
of your shoes
that is what i
what i think about
when i think about
if we let our love
off of its leash
do you fear, like i fear
how fierce it could be?
your headlights
sweeping
across my
ceiling
the breadth of
my smile now
the depth of
my feeling
way down in my dark life
a shaft of your light
shines through
and that is what i
what i think about
when i think about
if we let our love
off of its leash
do you fear, like i fear
how fierce it would be?
o my my
I am not a pretty girl
that is not what I do
I ain't no damsel in distess
and I don't need to be rescued
so put me down punk
maybe you'd prefer a maiden fair
isn't there a kitten stuck up a tree somewhere
I am not an angry girl
but it seems like I've got everyone fooled
every time I say something they find hard to hear
they chalk it up to my anger
and never to their own fear
and imagine you're a girl
just trying to finally come clean
knowing full well they'd prefer you
were dirty and smiling
and I am sorry
I am not a maiden fair
and I am not a kitten stuck up a tree somewhere
and generally my generation
wouldn't be caught dead working for the man
and generally I agree with them
trouble is you gotta have youself an alternate plan
and I have earned my disillusionment
I have been working all of my life
and I am a patriot
I have been fighting the good fight
and what if there are no damsels in distress
what if I knew that and I called your bluff?
don't you think every kitten figures out how to get down
whether or not you ever show up
I am not a pretty girl
I don't want to be a pretty girl
The warmth of north main street
Shows me how I took myself through
Illogical landscapes with you
Scribbling on napkins in foreign ports
All sorts of sidewalks I don't traverse anymore
All kinds of people I don't write into the score
Well I see you drive your car past my house
You're so far from admitting I've emerged
From under your deep weather
You may never hear the future I have heard
Oh the sound rebounds off the highest plateau
Of the people I will love
And the things I will know
If I go
The utility of lipstick
Escapes to a styrofoam cup
The coffee gone, the conversation strong
Oh though leaving's never easy
Sentiments like shadows grow long
Your tears collect outside my bedroom window
Like the winter's last little snow
And I am still the worst company that I have ever kept
I just didn't want you to witness my weakness as I wept
And I still define myself by the places that I've been
I just didn't want you to see me traveling inbetween
It seems to me I'm not doing anything new
I'm just not doing what I used to
The warmth of north main street
Shows me how I took myself through
Illogical landscapes with you
Scribbling on napkins in foreign ports
All sorts of sidewalks I don't traverse anymore
All kinds of people I know right into the score
Well I see you drive your car past my house
You're so far from admitting I've emerged
From under your deep weather
You may never hear the future I have heard
Oh the sound rebounds off the highest plateau
Of the people I will love
And the things I will know
My name is Lisa Kalvelage, I was born in Nuremberg
And when the trials were held there nineteen years ago
It seemed to me ridiculous to hold a nation all to blame
For the horrors that the world did undergo
A short while later when I applied to be a G. I. bride
An American consular official questioned me
He refused my exit permit, said my answers did not show
I'd learned my lesson about responsibility
Thus suddenly, I was forced to start thinking on this theme
And when later I was permitted to emigrate
I must have been asked a hundred times, where I was and what I did
In those years when Hitler ruled our state
I said, I was a child or at most a teenager
But that only extended the questioning
They'd ask, where were my parents, my father, my mother
And to this I could answer not a thing
The seed planted there at Nuremberg in 1947
Started to sprout and to grow
Gradually, I understood what that verdict meant to me
When there are crimes that I can see and I can know
And now I also know what it is to be charged with mass guilt
Once in a lifetime is enough for me
No, I could not take it for a second time
And that is why I am here today
The events of May 25th, the day of our protest
Put a small balance weight on the other side
Hopefully, someday my contribution to peace
Will help just a bit to turn the tide
And perhaps I can tell my children six
And later on their own children
That at least in the future they need not be silent
I'm calling from the diner
the diner on the corner
I ordered two coffees
one is for you
I was hoping you'd join me
'cause I ain't go no money
and I really miss you
I should mention that too
yes I know what time it is
in fact, I just checked
I even know the date
and the month
and the year
I know I haven't been sleeping
and when I do
I just dream of you
dear
I miss watching you
drool on your pillow
I miss watching you
pull on your clothes
I miss listening
to you in the bathroom
flushing the toilet
blowing your nose
I'm calling from the diner
the diner on the corner
I ordered two coffees
one is for you
the cups are so close
the steam is rising
in one stream
how are you
I think you're the least fucked up
person I've ever met
and that may be as close to the real thing
as I'm ever gonna get
but my quarter's gonna run out now
or so I'm told
I guess I'd better go sit down
and wait for you
til my coffee gets cold
the answer came like a shot in the back while you
were running from your lesson, which might explain why years later all you
could remember was the terror of the question. plus, you weren't listening
hard, you were stockpiling canned goods and making a bomb shelter of our
basement. and i can't believe you let the moral go by while you were soaking in
the product placement. and where was your conscience? where was your
consciousness? and where did you put all those letters that you wrote to
yourself but could not address? yeah, i'm a good kisser, and you're a fast
learner, and that kind of thing could float us for a pretty long time. and
then one day, you'd realized you've memorized my phone number, and you'll
call it and find it's a disconnected line. cuz i got tossed out the window of
love's el camino and i shattered into a shower of sparks on the curb. you
were smoking me weren't you between your yellow fingers, you just inhaled and
exhaled without saying a word. where was your conscience? where was your
consciousness? and what did you do with all those letters you wrote to
yourself but could not address? there's a smorgasbord of unspoken poisons,
the whole childhood of potions that are all bottled up, and so one by one i
am dusting off labels, i am uncorking bottles and i am filling up cups. go
ahead and have a taste of your own medicine. here i'll have a taste of mine,
but first lets toast to the lists that we hold in our fists of the things
that we promised to do differently next time. cuz the answer came like a shot
in the back while you ran from your lesson which might explain why years
later all you could remember the terror of the question. cause i'm not listening
to you anymore. my head is too sore and my heart's perforated and i am mired in the marrow of my
"well ain't that funny?" bone, learning how to be alone and
I'll be the right hand
You'll be the left hand
You and me we make
A mariachi band
Standing on the corner
Waiting for the lights
When you're around I
Always feel alright
From the painted desert
Over to paris, france
I followed your pointed
Finger with my glance
And i've seen so much
More than I would see
If it was just me, just me
If it was just me, just me
First rehearsal
Was under a redwoodtree
And you brought lyrics and you
Handed them to me
And you said here you are
The only one who can sing this
And I felt kissed and I wondered
If it was just me, just me
What if it was just me, just me
Let's get this party started
Let's squeeze the lime
The mariachi life
Is really more than fine
You know i'll meet you
You know i'll be flyin' blind
At the appointed corner
At the appointed time
At the appointed corner
At the appointed time
What if it was just me, just me?
What if it was just me, just me?
You always got those dark sunglasses
Covering half your face
But if you promise to take them off
Promise I won't squander your gaze
I will be picturesque, I will be nice
I won't do anything, you can't tell your own wife
I will think before I act, I will think twice
Just let me see your eyes
Each time we've spoke and put in our tokens, ridden the tilt-a-whirl
And I was giggling and dizzy, flirting like a 12 year old girl
The carnival of you and me was coming to town
Watch how we spin and spin and then fall down
Now we just say hello and head for firmer ground
You are the one-way glass that watches me
Standing in line at the bank
I always looks into your glasses
Like a cat looks into a fish tank
But all I could ever see was the specter of me reflected
I want a monument of a friendship
That we never had erected
I wanted to take up lots of room, I wanted to loom
You always got those dark sunglasses
Between us when we talk, yeah
But after the party is over if you wanna take a walk
We could just look around, not do nothing wrong
Try to be at least as brave as our songs
I will bring my heart, I will bring my face
I am looking for the holes
the holes in your jeans
because I want to know
are they worn out in the seat
or are they worn out in the knees
there are so many ways to wear
what we've got before it's gone
to make use of what is there
I don't wear anything I can't wipe my hands on
do your policies fit between the headlines
are they written in newsprint, are they distant
mine are crossing an empty parking lot
they are a woman walking home
at night
alone
they are six string that sing
and wood that hums against my hipbone
we can't afford to do anyone harm
because we owe them our lives
each breath is recycled from someone else's lungs
are enemies are the very air in disguise
you can talk a great philosophy
but if you can't be kind to people
every day
it doesn't mean that much to me
it's the little things you do
the little things you say
it's the love you give along the way
when we patch things up
they say a job well done
but when we ask why
where did the rips come from
they say we are subversive
and extreme, of course
we are just trying to track a problem to its source
because we know we can't sit back
and let people come to harm
we owe them our lives
each breath is recycled from someone else's lungs
our enemies are the very air
our enemies are the air
we are looking for the holes
the holes in your jeans
because we want to know
are they worn out in the seat
Every time I open my mouth
or take off my clothes
I'm raw and frostbitten from
being exposed
I got red scabby hands
and purple scabby feet
And you can smell me coming from
halfway down the street
And I remember that old hotel had quite the smell
where I'd go to use the phone
Between the donut shop and the pizza parlor
where I learned to live alone
Sweet sixteen and smiling
my way out of any jam
Learning the ways of the world, oh my
Learning the ways of man
And I didn't really want a baby
and I guess I had a choice
But I just let it grow inside me
this persistent little voice
And I guess I got her off and running
and run off is what she did
And that's part of what I think about
think about that kid
So now there's nothing left to wish upon
except for passing cars
The cacophony of city lights
is drowning out the stars
This park bench is a life boat
and the rest a big dark sea
And I'm just gonna lie here until
something comes and finds me
Yeah I got this tired old face
still grinning most of the time
Just 'cause it don't have a better way
to express what's on it's mind
And I got this running monologue
entertaining in it's outrage
And I've got the air of an animal
That's been living in a cage
Every time I open my mouth
or take off my clothes
I'm raw and frostbitten from
being exposed
I got red scabby hands
and purple scabby feet
And you can smell me coming from
halfway down the street
I am letting the telephone ring
cause I don't want to know why
I don't want to hear you explain
I don't want to hear you cry
I have written so much about you
so much I thought I knew
words like water used to flow
now what could I possibly have to say?
she is someone I don't even know
and all the things that you've given to me
I see now were simply reparations
they were gifts of your guilt
they were my preparation
I know I should be mature
keep my feet on the floor
but for some reason,
I just don't want them anymore
I know this shouldn't be important
compared to you and I
but I can still hear my questions
and I can still hear you
I can still hear you
now vicariously I have her in me
I want to peel off my skin
let the water wash in
you always said that I was hiding
that I was hiding from you
but you are capable of things I could not do
you are capable of things I could not do
I remember how you pretended
how you pretended to touch me
I remember how I couldn't bring myself to believe
I remember wondering,
what was wrong
what was wrong
how could I be so naive
we drove the car to the top of the parking ramp
on the 4th of july
we sat out on the hood with a couple of warm beers and watched the fireworks
explode in the sky
and there was an exodus of birds from the trees
but they didnt know, we were only pretending
and the people all looked up, and were pleased
and the birds flew around like the whole world was ending
and i don't think war is noble
and i don't like to think that love is like war
and i gotta big hot cherry bomb, and i want to slip it through the mail slot
of your front door
don't leave me here
i've got your back now
you'd better have mine
cause you say the coast is clear
but you say that all the time
so many sheep i quit counting
sleepless and embarrassed about the way that i feel
trying to make mole hills out of mountains
building base camp at the bottom of a really big deal
and did i tell you how i stopped eating?
when you stopped calling me
and i was cramped up shitting rivers for weeks
and pretending that i was finally free
don't leave me here
now that your back
you'd better stay this time
cause you say the coast is clear
but you say that all the time
we drove the car to the top of the parking ramp,
on the 4th of july
and i planted my dusty boots on the bumper and sat out on the hood,
imagine that i'm on stage under a watchtower of punishing light. and in the
haze is your face bathed in shadow and what's beyond you is hidden from sight.
and somebody right now is yawning and watching me like a tv. and i've been
frantically piling up sandbags against the flood waters of fatigue and
insecurity. and that's when i hear my guitar singing and so i just start
singing along. and somewhere in my chest all the noise just gets crushed by
the song. imagine that i'm at your mercy, imagine that you are at mine. just
pretend that i've been standing here, watching you watching me all of this
time. imagine that you are the weather in the tiny snow globe of this song.
and i am a statue of liberty one inch long. so here i am at my most hungry,
and here i am at my most full. and here i am waving a red cape, locking eyes
with a bull. imagine that i'm on stage under a watchtower of punishing light.
and in the haze is your face bathed in shadow and what's beyond you is hidden
If you're not, if you're not
If you're not, if you're not
If you're not getting happier as you get older
Then you're fuckin' up
If you're not, if you're not
If you're not, if you're not
If you're not aware that what you put out
Is what you get back
That you make the world through the way you act
You can't harness the awesome power of that fact
And it builds up, it builds up
It builds up, it builds up
Yeah your love builds up till it's bigger than you
Then it just carries you through
You better ready yourself cause whatcha gonna do
If you're not, if you're not
If you're not, if you're not
If you're not, if you're not
If you're not, if you're not
If you're not, if you're not
If you're not getting happier as you get older
Then you're fuckin' up
Me and the other kids from the neighborhood
We played out on the street all summer long
Rule was, we had to go home at night when the street lights came on.
We were oblivious to the rest of the world
And we'd hold up the cars in the street
And we'd always play boys against girls, and both sides would cheat.
Strange men would stop their cars at the curb
And say, "Hey, Sweetheart, come here."
I'd go up to the window and they'd have their dick out in their hand
And a sick little sneer.
I'd say, "Here we go again.
Yeah, OK, this time you win."
And I'd feel dirty, I'd feel ashamed
But I wouldn't let it stop my game.
We would play Hide and Go Seek
And territory would be the whole block
Sometimes the older boys, when they'd find you
They wouldn't want to tag you, they'd just wanna "talk."
They'd say "What would you do for a quarter?
Come on, we don't have much time."
Then I'd think for a minute and say,"OK, give me the quarter first..fine."
This time you win
Here we go again
And I would feel dirty and I'd feel ashamed
But I wouldn't let it stop my game.
I remember my first trip alone on the Greyhound bus
A man put his hands on me as soon as night fell
I remember when I was leaving, how excited I was
I remember when I arrived, I didn't feel so well.
I remember a teacher in school that got me so sick, so scared
That I went into the bathroom and threw up in my hair
And I could go on and on, it just gets worse
And I should probably stop.
Girl, next time he wants to know what your problem is
Girl, next time he wants to know where the anger comes from
Just tell him this time the problem's his
Tell him the anger just comes
It just comes.
i bet you're wondering
if you woke up today
just to learn why the caged bird sings
i bet you're wondering if the goddesses are all crazy
or just keeping it interesting
situated slightly outside society
at odds with its odd offerings
i bet you're teetering on the edge of sobriety
just to alleviate a few things
like the fear that you're standing here
cuz you want to be liked
you know you need your instrument
but does your instrument need to be miked?
you keep imagining that pretty soon you will just disappear
and thinking that one thing is what saves you from your fear of being here
here for now
here for now
i bet you're looking for the little red x next to the red arrow
and the words 'you are here'
i bet you're hoping that your heart will send up the white flag this time
or some sign that the coast is clear
yeah, the moment when your heart jumps
it's all that's happening
and once again, it's like the first time you've felt that shock
yeah, the moment when your heart jumps
it's all that's happening
an i was right behind the door when you knocked
thinking maybe i'm just standing here
cuz i want to be liked
i know i need my instrument
but does my instrument need to be miked?
i keep imagining that pretty soon i will just disappear
and thinking that one thing is what saves me from my fear of being here
here for now
here for now
here for now
I bet you're wondering if you woke today
just to learn why the caged bird sings
I bet you're wondering if the goddesses are all crazy
or just keeping it interesting
situated slightly outside society
at odds with its odd offerings
I bet you're teetering on the edge of sobriety
just to alleviate a few things
like the fear that you're standing here
because you want to be liked
like you know you need your instrument
but does your instrument need to be mic'd
and you keep imagining that pretty soon
you will just disappear
and thinking that one thing is what saves you from
your fear of being here
here for now, you're here for now, you're here for now
I bet you're looking for the little red 'X'
next to the red arrow and the sign says 'you are here'
I bet you're hoping that your heart will send up the white flag this time
or some sign that the coast is clear
and the moment when your heart jumps in all that's happening
it's like the first time you felt that shock
yes, your heart jumps in all that's happening
and I was right behind the door when you knocked
thinking maybe I'm just standing here
because I want to be liked
yes, I know I need my instrument
but does my instrument need to me mic'd
I keep imagining that pretty soon
I will just disappear
and thinking that one thing is what saves me from
my fear of being here
here for now, I'm here for now, I'm here for now
life is a b movie
it's stupid and it's strange
a directionless story
and the dialouge is lame
but in the he said she said
sometimes there's some poetry
if you turn your back long enough
and let it happen naturally
oh, yeah
hell yeah
I got a face like a limp handshake
hair like an accident scene
I've been waking up slowly
savoring the same old dream
and somewhere between
the folds of your memory
I was sleeping soundly
oh, yeah
hell yeah
'cause I like you
but I know you don't know it
I like you soo much,
I talk to everyone but you
and I wonder
what you would think of this little number
I wonder
what you would say if you knew
If you don't ask the right questions
every answer seems wrong
I was a terrible waitress
so I started to write songs
and I don't know how I feel
but I wonder if you feel like me
do you ever get wrapped up
in the folds of my memory
oh, yeah
hell, yeah
'cause I like you
but I know you don't know it
I like you so much
I talk to everyone but you
and I wonder
what you would think of this little number
yeah I wonder
what you would say if you knew
there's a river of people
that runs past my eyes
and it's beautiful enough
just to watch it go by
but the trouble with water is
she'll always leave you for gravity
I never even told you
I had a crush on you or anything
oh, yeah
hell yeah
life is a b movie
it's stupid and it's strange
a directionless story
and the dialouge is lame
but in the he said she said
sometimes there's some poetry
if you turn your back long enough
and let it happen naturally
oh, yeah
I don't want to strive for nothing anymore,
I just want to lie here with you,
keep the wolves outside the door,
there is nothing in this world you could ever show me that could ever matter more.
Little baby
in the next room dreaming,
is just icing on the cake,
there is nothing like dancing,
our dance of give and take,
one step forward,
one step sideways,
a helpless feeling,
when the earth shakes.
I will always be your lover,
even after our atoms are dispersed,
we will be pushing up daisies,
and my crush will just be getting worse,
I will follow you into the next life,
like a dog chasing after a hearse.
I just don't want to strive for nothing anymore,
I just want to lie here with you,
Keep the wolves outside the door,
There is nothing in this world you could ever show me that could ever matter more...
(instrumental)
going once
going twice
sold to the girl
who ignored all the good advice
of all the people who knew better
she just stood there
on the front porch
waiting for her will to come and get her
she was packed
she had a suitcase
full of noble intentions
she had a map
and a staight face
hell bent on reinvention
and she was ready for the lonely
she was in it for it only
going once
going twice
down the road less taken
through the coffee
and the wd40
and the swiss army knife
and the beer
there was always someone there to say
why don't you just stay
and hang your hat here
but she was packed
she had a suitcase
full of fumbles and near misses
she was swinging through a jungle
of last calls and first kisses
and she was learning
about please
about hugh humilities
and then one day she looked around her
and everything up till then was showing
and she wondered how did i get here
without even knowing where i was going
and now there's no getting out of this
and there's no going back
and it all seems so odd sometimes
and the odds all seemed stacked
going once, going twice
sold to the girl
who ignored all the advice
of all the people who knew better
she just stood there
on the front porch
waiting for her will
to come and get her
she was packed
she ahd a suitcase
she had a map
and a straight face
she was ready
for the lonely
she was in it for
They were digging a new foudation in Manhattan
And they discovered a slave cemetary there
May their souls rest easy
Now that lynching is frowned upon
And we've moved on to the electric chair
And I wonder who's gonna be president, tweedle dum or tweedle dummer?
And who's gonna have the big blockbuster box office this summer?
How about we put up a wall between houses and the highway
And you can go your way, and I can go my may
Except all the radios agree with all the tvs
And all the magazines agree with all the radios
And I keep hearing that same damn song everywhere I go
Maybe I should put a bucket over my head
And a marshmallow in each ear
And stumble around for
Another dumb-numb waiting for another hit song to appear
People used to make records
As in a record of an event
The event of people playing music in a room
Now everything is cross-marketing
Its about sunglasses and shoes
Or guns and drugs
You choose
We got it rehashed
We got it half-assed
We're digging up all the graves
And we're spitting on the past
And you can choose between the colors
Of the lipstick on the whores
Cause we know the difference between
The font of 20% more
And the font of teriakiyi
You tell me
How does it... make you feel?
You tell me
What's ... real?
And they say that alcoholics are always alcoholics
Even when they're as dry as my lips for years
Even when they're stranded on a small desert island
With no place within 2,000 miles to buy beer
And I wonder
Is he different?
Is he different?
Has he changed? what's he about?..
Or is he just a liar with nothing to lie about?
Am I headed for the same brick wall
Is there anything I can do about
Anything at all?
Except go back to that corner in Manhattan
And dig deeper, dig deeper this time
Down beneath the impossible pain of our history
Beneath unknown bones
Beneath the bedrock of the mystery
Beneath the sewage systems and the PATH train
Beneath the cobblestones and the water mains
Beneath the traffic of friendships and street deals
Beneath the screeching of kamikaze cab wheels
Beneath everything I can think of to think about
Beneath it all, beneath all get out
Beneath the good and the kind and the stupid and the cruel
There's a fire just waiting for fuel
There's a fire just waiting for fuel
There's a fire just waiting for fuel
There's a fire just waiting for fuel
There's a fire just waiting for fuel
There's a fire just waiting for fuel
There's a fire just waiting for fuel
There's a fire just waiting for fuel
There's a fire just waiting for fuel
There's a fire just waiting for fuel
There's a fire just waiting for fuel
There's a fire just waiting for fuel
There's a fire just waiting for fuel
(instrumental)
I walk in stride with people
much taller than me
and partly it's the boots but
mostly it's my chi
and I'm becoming transfixed
with nature and my part in it
which I believe just signifies
I'm finally waking up
and there's this moth outside my kitchen door
she's bonkers for that bare bulb
flying round in circles
bashing in her exoskull
and out in the woods she navigates fine by the moon
but get her around a light bulb and she's doomed
she is trying to evolve
she's just trying to evolve
now let's get talking reefer madness
like some arrogant government can't
by any stretch of the imagination
outlaw a plant
yes, their supposed authority over nature
is a dream
c'mon people
we've got to come clean
cuz they are locking our sons
and our daughters in cages
they are taking by the thousands
our lives from under us
it's a crash course in religious fundamentals
now let's all go to war
get some bang for our buck
I am trying to evolve
I'm just trying to evolve
gunnin for high score in the land of dreams
morbid bluish-white consumers ogling luminous screens
on the trail of forgetting
cruising without a care
the jet set won't abide by that pesky jet lag
and our lives boil down to an hour or two
when someone pulls a camera out of a bag
and I am trying to evolve
I'm just trying to evolve
so I walk like I'm on a mission
cuz that's the way I groove
I got more and more to do
I got less and less to prove
it took me too long to realize
that I don't take good pictures
cuz I have the kind of beauty
from the depth of the pacific
to the height of everest
and still the world is smoother
than a shiny ball-bearing
so i take a few steps back
and put on a wider lens
and it changes your skin,
your sex, and what your wearing
distance shows your silloutte
to be a lot like mine
like a sphere is a sphere
and all of us here
have been here all the time
you brought me to church,
cinder blocks, flourescent light
you brought me to church
at 7o'clock on a sunday night
and the band was rocking
and the floors were scrubbed clean
and everybody had a tambourine
so i took a deep breath and became
the white girl with the hair
and you sat right beside me
while everybody stared
and through the open window
i think the singing went outside
and floated up to tell
all the stars not to hide
cuz by the time church let out
the sky was much clearer
and the moon was so beautiful,
that the ocean held up a mirror
as we walked home we spoke slowly
we spoke slow,
and we spoke lowly
like it was taking more time
than usual to choose
the words to go
with your squeaky sandle shoes
like time is not a thing
that's ours to lose
from the height of the pacific
Looks like my crazy family
Is down one crazy daughter cuz
I'm shipwrecked in a desert that
Once was underwater just
Looking for a swift turn of phrase
Some colors to fly
As I float by
In the parade
Plus I dream in skin scented sentences
Of a stronger faster fiercer you
And to each noun, verb and predicate
I dedicate a vivid hue
But you ain't done too well
Getting past your permanent pastel
Have you now?
Yes, the desert seemed so promising
And then it paled somehow
So school is in session
Get your chin off your desk
Now pick up your pencil
And turn over your test
Use your education
And take an educated guess
About me
I've got a slot at eye level like
A speakeasy door
And I know you know the password
Cuz I've seen you here before
And I've got something sweet for you
And I don't care if it is more than you deserve
I've got a lot of love and a lot of nerve
So watch me while I take this curve
Yes school is in session
Get your chin off your desk
Now pick up your pencil
And turn over your test
Use your education
And take an educated guess
About me
Plus I have this whole new family
And I'm in love with each of them
And I'm on this list called lucky
Whenever I'm in reach of them
And I'm learning how to say
That I'd be happy either way
With your love
I'm calling on the stars above
School is in session
Get your chin off your desk
Now pick up your pencil
Turn over your test
Use your education
And take an educated guess
the wind is ruthless
the trees shake angry fingers at the sky
the people hunch their shoulders
hold their collars over their earsand run by
it's a cold rain
it's a hard rain
like the kind that you find in songs
i guess that makes methe jerk with the heartache
here to sing youabout how i've been done wrong
and i am sitting, watching
out the window of the coffee shop
and i am waiting, waiting
waiting for it to let up
i am rocking like a cradle
warming my hands with the cup in between
i am leaning over the table
holding my face over the steam
and before it gets so cold
that the rain turns to snow
there's just a couple things
i'd like to know
like how could you do nothing
and say, i'm doing my best
how could you take almost everything
and then come back for the rest
how could you beg me to stay,
reach out your hands and plead
and then pack up your eyes and run away
as soon as i agreed
it just all slips
away so slowly
you don't even notice till you've lost a lot
i've been like one of those zombies
in vegas
pouring quarters into a slot
and now i'm tired
and i am broke
and i feel stupid and i feel used
and i'm at the end of my little rope
and i am swinging back and forth
about you
before it gets so cold
that the rain turns to snow
there's just a couple things
i'd like to know
like how could you do nothing
and say, i'm doing my best
how could you take almost everything
and then come back for the rest
how could you beg me to stay,
reach out your hands and plead
and then pack up your eyes and run away
(instrumental)
Lots of folks back East, they say, is leavin' home every day,
Beatin' the hot old dusty way to the California line.
'Cross the desert sands they roll, gettin' out of that old dust bowl,
They think they're goin' to a sugar bowl, but here's what they find --
Now, the police at the port of entry say,
'You're number fourteen thousand for today.'
CHORUS:
Oh, if you ain't got the do re mi, folks, you ain't got the do re mi,
Why, you better go back to beautiful Texas, Oklahoma, Kansas, Georgia, Tennessee.
California is a garden of Eden, a paradise to live in or see;
But believe it or not, you won't find it so hot
If you ain't got the do re mi.
You want to buy you a home or a farm, that can't deal nobody harm,
Or take your vacation by the mountains or sea.
Don't swap your old cow for a car, you better stay right where you are,
Better take this little tip from me.
'Cause I look through the want ads every day
But the headlines on the papers always say:
If you ain't got the do re mi, boys, you ain't got the do re mi,
Why, you better go back to beautiful Texas, Oklahoma, Kansas, Georgia, Tennessee.
California is a garden of Eden, a paradise to live in or see;
But believe it or not, you won'âÅ'¦ãâ€
come, come away
come away from
come away from it
come, come away
come away from
come away from it
won't you come
come away from
come away from it
why won't you
why won't you come
come away from
come away from it
come
come away from
come away
come away from
won't you come
come away
come away from
next to the glass ashtray
in a little plastic baggy
is a bitter rock remedy
really good stuff
but i take offense to the fact
that you're so hell bent
you try to tell me this world
just isn't beautiful enough?
do you wanna get off
is this your stop
do you gotta have a triple decker super fudge sundae
with a goddam cherry on top
i mean, what makes you so lavish that you can afford
to spend ever sober moment feeling angry and bored
why won't you come
come away from
come away from it
why won't you come
come away from
we used to hold hands down
those unfamiliar streets
you used to take me diving
into the watery blue deep
but now you're trying to find every tiny treasure
every shiny penny of pleasure
satisfy every selfish purpose
before you swim back up to the surface
why won't you come
come away from
come away from it
why won't you come
come away from
come away from it
and you think that i just don't like it anymore
but i'll tell you what i don't like
i don't like that i have to put the training wheels back on your bike
and i don't like the extravagance
or the way you taste when i kiss you
i don't like being left alone
baby don't you think i miss you
why won't you come
come away from
come away from it
come away from
come away from it
why won't you come
come away from
come away from it
you are listening
to the phone ring
like a church bell
sounding out the hours
and the ringing
cuts the silence like a knife
leaving little pieces
left of your life
you are watching
the night shadows grown tall
swallowing you in peril
like a bird on the wall
shake me down to the soil of the dream
make me whole and take me clean
take me from this reality cold and and mean
cold and mean
i can't answer
i can't speak to anyone
not until i witness
the next rise of the sun
in this darkness
it's like a lead weight in my shoed
i i could rise to answer
even if i wanetd to
shake me down to the soil of the dream
take me home and take me clean
take me from this reality cold and and mean
shake me down to the soil of the dream
take me home and take me clean
take me from this reality cold and and mean
shake me down to the soil of the dream
take me home and take me clean
take me from this reality cold and and mean
cold and mean
ive been wondering what you meant
when you asked do you have a light?
ive been wondering where you went
when you left that party that night
cloud blood sweat smeared on the sky
its dawns roadkill
ive been driving since midnight
and im driving still
stop on the top of the ridge
just to feel the wind on my rand mcnally
then i feel the air grow cold
as i drift to the first blue of the valley
and youre wondering how far down you are on my
call back list
but you dont realize
everytime i find im by a phone the landscape shifts
every other song someones trying to write
angels enter the world
every ace every grace every near miss
every decent kiss by a pretty girl
she was an angel
she looked like an angel
and all of the angels did sing
and the angels were watching
and the angels were listening
and the angels were on hand to stand in for everything
you can call it magic
when a man pulls a rabbit out of a hat
but the reason I dont call you
is cuz I wonder if there isnt a better word than that
and you can call me crazy
but I think youre as lazy as white paint on the wall
and I know youll only speak to me in dial tones
if I call
its been way too long
since ive been behind the wheel
headlights guiding me right through the dark
I feel
driving, trying hard to resist
sleeps first kiss
everytime I have time to think
I think of this
da da da da
da da da
da da
da da da da
da da
da da da da
da da da
da da
da da da da
standing just outside
the circle of light
avoiding the pool cues
watching the game
waiting for you
hanging in the doorway
like smoke
like mistletoe
this is where I'll be
whenever you come or go
I'm gonna roll you over
gonna peel you back
expose your tender center
watch the juices flow from the crack
gonna peel you out
of your protective shell
or I might have to break right in there
and raise some hell
I don't have no grand plan
for you and me
just nothing is impossible
nothing is unlikely
I'm just riding the tide
nothing more
and it's bound to take me out some
before it brings me back to shore
when you look in the mirror
do you see visions of your past
I ain't got time for halfway
I ain't got time for halfassed
when I look in the mirror
I see my days to come
and my face is just a trace
of where I'm coming from
just outside the circle of light
is where you've been living
your whole life
you've got to jump into the center
and launch your attack
and then you've got to crawl back
in the corners
growing up it was just me and my mom
against the world
and all my sympathies were with her
when i was a little girl
but now i've seen both my parents
play out the hands they were dealt
and as each year goes by
i know more about how my father must have felt
i just want you to understand
that i know what all the fighting was for
and i just want you to understand
that i'm not angry anymore
i'm not angry anymore
she taught me how to wage a cold war
with quiet charm
but i just want to walk
through my life unarmed
to accept and just get by
like my father learned to do
but without all the acceptance and getting by
that got my father through
night falls like people into love
we generate our own light
to compensate
for the lack of light from above
every time we fight
a cold wind blows our way
but we learn like the trees
how to bend
how to sway and say
i, i think i understand
what all this fighting is for
and baby, i just want you to understand
that i'm not angry anymore
if the mattress was a table top
and the bed sheet was a page
we'd be written out
like a couple of question marks
my convex to your concave
and we'd be lying here
at the end of a sentence
and asks, are you ready now?
are you gonna glow in the dark?
are you gonna show me how?
do you like to watch when water misbehaves?
do you like waves?
as the wind shifts
and shifts again
the sail smiles
and gently slaps around the mast
ballast
ballast
ballast
when you come to me
come to me with cake
in your pocket
come to me nicely
with that soft kinda cake
that's mostly icing
come to me ready and rude
bring me angel food
Wouldn't it be nice if
We had an amendment
To give civil rights to
Women
To once and for all just
Really lay it down from
A point of view of
Women
I know what you're thinking
That's just redundant
Chicks got it good now
They can almost be president
But worker against worker
Time and time again
As the rich use certain issues as a tool
And when I said we need the ERA cause I'm a fool.
It's cause without it nobody can get away
With anything cruel
You don't need to go far like
Just over to canada
To feel the height and sense of
Live and let live
What is it about americans
Like so many pitbulls
Trained to attack them
To never give
We gotta come down abortion
Put it down in the books for good
As central to the civil rights of women
Make diversity acceptable
Make it finally understood
Through the civil rights of women
And if you don't like abortion
Don't have an abortion
Teach your children
How they can avoid them
But don't treat all women
Like they are your children
Compassion has many faces
Many names
And if men can kill
And be decorated instead of blamed
When a woman called onto mother
Can choose to refrain
And contrary to ions(?)
Of oldtime religion
Your body is your only true cominion
Nature is not here to serve you
Or at any cost to preserve you
That's just some preacherman's oldtime opinion
Life is sacred
Life is all so profane
A woman's life
It must be hers to name
Let an amendment
Put this brutal game to rest
Trust women will still take you to their breast
Trust women will always do their best
Trust that our differences make us stronger, not less
In this amendment
Shall be family structure shall be free
To be the right to civil union
If we take unions of all kinds
Unions of hearts and minds
To give society communion
Let's do more than tolerate
Let gay and straight resonate
And emanate all things human
With equal rights and
Equal protection
Intolerance finally ruined
And then there's the kids rights
They'll naturally be on board
A thunnel through which
Womens' lives are poured
Our family is so big and we're all so very small
Let a web of relationship be laid over it all
Over the ... Of power piled up into the sky
Over the illusion of autonomy on which it relies
Over any absolute of nature that's not surprised
Look here I just tattooed
A wedding band
On what looks like to me
My mother's hand
I'm no blushing girl
No innocent dove
It took me a long time to find love
But now I have no doubt
And I never will
That I am meant to be loving you
And it fairly blew my mind
To be so sure
When that little needle said I do
My love gives me hope
My love gives me pride
My love gets me past
The land mines inside
When I am next to you
I am more me
Inside me is a room to which you hold the key
Look at that honeymoon
In the albacore sky
Look with all of you
Not just your eye
Look at it's dancing light
Through the whispering trees
Look how I love you and you love me
i love you and you love me and ain't that that way it's supposed to be? i
swing my stick legs 'round from the root and i pile drive each foot into a
platform boot. and i'm up and i'm out cuz i'm bouncing off the walls. and i
come when you call and you call. i got a super cute three piece suit. one
piece for your body. one piece for your smile. one more little piece if you
stay a while. yeah, cuz i love you and you love me. ain't that the way it's
supposed to be? i gotta beeline double time. leave my home sweet home for your
honeycomb. then i show up steady ready and proud and i find i've forgotten how
to talk out loud. isn't it just like you to bring me to my knees in my brand
new stockings while the cat is out with my tongue. isn't it just like you to
bring me to my knees in my brand new stockings. love makes me feel so dumb.
cuz i love you and you love me and ain't that the way it's supposed to be?
yeah, cuz i love you and you love the me. ain't that the way it's supposed to
You gotta have the right tools
For every job so I invite myself in
Through a hole in the fence
I am tripping through the junkyard
Scanning over the piles
The thin cats raise their skin in defense
I know he's watching me
I can see him through the cracks
His eyes are small and shy on my back
He says his name is Jason
He lives in the last trailer on the right
And he'll be seven on the 4th of July
Only the people who live here
Know the name of this place
My path through Iowa would be
Hard to trace all the adults in this town
Try not to frown
When I walk by
But Jason smiled at me
He met my eye
He don't ask me where I'm from
Or why I came here alone
We all go looking for paradise
Then we go back home
We cut out the small talk
Go right to the way things are
He showed me his squirrel skull
I told him I locked myself out of my car
So there goes the only friend
I have in Iowa
His hand flapping behind him
Waving goodbye
His name is Jason
He lives in the last trailer on the right
And he'll be seven
the air comes off the ocean
the city smells fishy
the air is full of fish and mystery
whispering who, what, when
I am warning you I am weightless
and the wind is always shifting
so don't hang anything on me
if you ever want to see it again
I am telling you I'm different than you
think I am
and you can dangle your carrot
but I ain't gunna reach for it
cuz I need both my hands
to play my guitar
and life is a sleezy stranger
who looks vaguely familiar
flirting with a bimbo named disaster
at the end of the bar
and I am telling you that I am different
than you are
at night when you're asleep
self-hatred's going to creep in
and try to blame it on the devil
the one who's bed you sleep in
and don't tell me what they did to you
as though you had no choice
tell me, isn't that your picture?
isn't that your voice?
if you don't live what you sing about
your mirror is going to find out
oh yeah
I'd like to go to all the pretty parties
where all the pretty people go
and I ain't really all that pretty
but nobody will know
cuz everybody loves you
when you're a star
and nobody questions
what it takes to go that far
and life is a sleezy stranger
and this is his favorite bar
no I don't prefer obscurity
but I'm an idealistic girl
and I wouldn't work for you
no matter what you paid
and I may not be able
to change the whole fucking world
but I could be the million
that you never made
oh yeah
I could be the million that you never made
I could be the million that you'll never make
(instrumental)
you were so in love
that it was all you could talk about
and i think i felt a little left out
you were on cloud 9 all the time
while i was levelling
i was wringing my hands and you were revelling
but then why shouldn't you?
it was such a beautiful thing to do
would that i could get me some
of your yum yum delirium
i could level off the ground that we stand on
but with you down on bended knee
always looking up at me
that feeling of standing up together is gone
and though i love you through all time and space
my love always seems to take second place
you were so in love
that it was all you could talk about
and i think i felt a little left out
you were on cloud 9 all the time
while i was levelling
i was wringing my hands and you were revelling
but then why shouldn't you?
lying on the floor
four stories high
in the corridor
between the asphalt and the sky
I am caught like bottled water
the light daughter
I wonder what you look like
under your t-shirt
I wonder what you sound like
when you're not wearing words
I wonder what we have
when we're not pretending
it's never-ending, haven't you heard?
I don't need to tell you
what this is about
you just start on the inside
and work your way out
we are all polylingual
but some of us pretend
there's virtue in relying
on not trying to understand
we're all citizens of the womb
before we subdivide
into sexes and shades
this side
that side
and I don't need to tell you
what this is about
you just start on the inside
and work your way out
undressing for the fan
like it was a man
wondering about all the things
that I'll never understand
there are some things that you can't know
unless you've been there
but oh how far we could go
if we started to share
I don't need to tell you
what it is about
you just start on the inside
you just start on the inside
Wishin' and hopin' and thinkin' and prayin'
Plannin' and dreamin' each night of his charms
That won't get you into his arms
So if you're looking to find love you can share
All you gotta do is hold him
And kiss him and love him
And show him that you care
Show him that you care just for him
Do the things that he likes to do
Wear your hair just for him
'Cause you won't get him
Thinkin' and a prayin'
Wishin' and a hopin'
Just wishin' and hopin' and thinkin' and prayin'
Plannin' and dreamin' his kisses will start
That won't get you into his heart
So if you're thinking how great true love is
All you gotta do is hold him and kiss him
And squeeze him and love him
Just do it and after you do, you will be his
Show him that you care just for him
Do the things that he likes to do
Wear your hair just for him
'Cause you won't get him
Thinkin' and a prayin'
Wishin' and a hopin'
Just wishin' and hopin' and thinkin' and prayin'
Plannin' and dreamin' his kisses will start
That won't get you into his heart
So if you're thinking how great true love is
All you gotta do is hold him and kiss him
And squeeze him and love him
Just do it and after you do, you will be his
You will be his
The windows of my soul
are made of one way glass
don't bother looking into my eyes
if there's something you want to know,
just ask
I got a dead bolt stroll
where I'm going is clear
I won't wait for you to wonder
I'll just tell you why I'm here
'cause I know the biggest crime
is just to throw up your hands
this has nothing to do with me
I just want to live as comfortably as I can
you got to look outside your eyes
you got to think outside your brain
you got to walk outside you life
to where the neighborhood changes
tell me who is your boogieman
that's who I will be
you don't have to like me for who I am
but we'll see what you're made of
by what you make of me
I think that it's absurd
that you think I
am the derelict daughter
I fight fire with words
words are hotter than flames
words are wetter than water
I got friends all over this country
I got friends in other countries too
I got friends I haven't met yet
I got friends I never knew
I got lovers whose eyes
I've only seen at a glance
I got strangers for great grandchildren
I got strangers for ancestors
I was a long time coming
I'll be a long time gone
you've got your whole life to do something
and that's not very long
so why don't you give me a call
when you're willing to fight
for what you think is real
Me and
This is so fucking weird
There's no place in this world where I'll belong when I'm gone
And I won't know the right from the wrong when I'm gone
And you won't find me singin' on this song when I'm gone
So I guess I'll have to do it while I'm here
And I won't feel the flowing of the time when I'm gone
All the pleasures of love will not be mine when I'm gone
My pen won't pour out a lyric line when I'm gone
So I guess I'll have to do it while I'm here
And I won't breathe the bracing air when I'm gone
And I can't even worry 'bout my cares when I'm gone
Won't be asked to do my share when I'm gone
So I guess I'll have to do it while I'm here
And I won't be running from the rain when I'm gone
And I can't even suffer from the pain when I'm gone
Can't say who's to praise and who's to blame when I'm gone
So I guess I'll have to do it while I'm here
Won't see the golden of the sun when I'm gone
And the evenings and the mornings will be one when I'm gone
Can't be singing louder than the guns when I'm gone
So I guess I'll have to do it while I'm here
All my days won't be dances of delight when I'm gone
And the sands will be shifting from my sight when I'm gone
Can't add my name into the fight while I'm gone
So I guess I'll have to do it while I'm here
And I won't be laughing at the lies when I'm gone
And I can't question how or when or why when I'm gone
Can't live proud enough to die when I'm gone
{So, okay}
{o, lastly, well, we were supposed to be here last night
I mean, not and you're late, no}
{We were supposed to be in this town, sleeping soundly in beds
With toilets really nearby and}
{But, but, but what? No instead, we were in
We were in the, a study room in a dormitory
At this University of Chicago
And we were having a little slumber party}
{It was like, able, I mean, it was either that or sleep but you know
At the gate in the airport, so, so we decided, well, the study room}
{And it was so funny 'cause there we were in in Chicago, right
And everybody was in Chicago and they could check out
Any time they like but they could never leave}
{So, so and then, oh yeah, right, so and Chicago is just infested
With, with cranky air travel people, and they were all
They had filled up the hotels, so but not the dorms! No
If my life were a movie
there would be a sunset
and the camera would pan away
but the sky is just a little sister
tagging along behind the buildings
trying to imitate their grey
the little boys are breaking bottles
along the sidewalk
the big boys, too
the girls are hanging out at the candy store
pumping quarters into the phone
'cause they don't want to go home
and I think,
what if no one's watching
what it when we're dead, we're just dead
what if it's just us down here
what if god ain't looking down
what if he's looking up instead
if my life were a movie
I would light a cigarette
and the smoke would curl around my face
everything I do would be interesting
I'd play the good guy
in every scene
but I always feel I have to
take a stand
and there's always someone on hand
to hate me for standing there
I always feel I have to open my mouth
and every time I do
I offend someone
somewhere
but what
what if no one's watching
what if when we're dead, we're just dead
what if there's no time to lose
what if there's things we gotta do
things that need to be said
you know I can't apologize
for everything I know
I mean you don't have to agree with me
but once you get me going
you better just let me go
we have to be able to criticize
what we love
say what we have to say
'cause if you're not trying to make something better
as far as I can tell
you're just in the way
I mean what
what if no one's watching
what if when we're dead
we're just dead
what if it's just us down here
what if god is just an idea
someone put in your head
I mean what
what if no one's watching
I'll tell you what there is plenty wrong with me
But I fixed up a few old buildings and I planted a few trees
And children seem to like me and animals too
Like the birds and the bees
And eating a sandwich standing over the kitchen counter
With only the sound of chewing in the room
I can see you as a challenge that I will eagerly meet
'Cause you are way, way, way, way sweet
And it's just that kind of evening that cracks open like a half shaken beer
Cool and refreshing and running down your arm
And baby there's really no other place I'd rather be than here
Pardon my periodic alarm
You are ever true, ever new in love
And I mean that in the best and worst way
And I don't really know what I was so mad about
But the full moon is about a week away
And I'll tell you what there is plenty wrong with you
Stuff you'd sooner fight for than cop to
But I think it's just more reason why we are meant to be
People say that I look like you and you look like me
We get this crazy combination of everything and nothing right
But we are way, way, way, way, way, way, way, way, way tight
Yeah, we are way, way, way, way, way, way, way, way, way tight
up up up up up up points the
spire of the steeple
but god's work isn't done by god
it's done by people
up up up up up up points the
fingers of the trees
the lumberjacks with their bloody axes
are on their knees
and just when you think that you've got enough
enough grows
and everywhere that you go in life
enough knows
up up up up up up dances
the steam from the sewer
as she rounds the corner
the brutal wind blows right through her
up up up up up up raises
the stakes of the game
each day sinks its bootprint into her clay
and she's not the same
and just when you think that you've got enough
enough grows
and everywhere that you go in life
enough knows
half of learning how to play
is learning what not to play
and she's learning the spaces she leaves
have their own things to say
then she's trying to sing just enough
so that the air around her moves
and make music like mercy
that gives what it is
and has nothing to prove
she crawls out on a limb
and begins to build her home
amd it's enough just to look around
to know she's not alone
up up up up up up points
the spire of the steeple
but god's work isn't done by god
I know I've seen you around
You can't forget that hair
But I didn't hear you come in
How long have you been sitting there?
You know you can tell me anything
I promise I don't scare
Let's only ever be allies even if the whole background
dissolves
And little pink hearts can pop over our heads but we'll
keep our cool
You know I have enjoyed my life
It's been exciting
And I've become more peaceful
No more fighting
And I ain't gonna waste your time
Wronging and righting
Round and round centered by the grooves on an old oak
tree
Nibbled by minnows and licked by a salty sea
And I gotta say I'm amazed not in a good way at how
much I don't remember
I just gotta hope though I'm slow it's all part of what
I know the facts are pretend anyway
Yeah the facts are pretend anyway
I know I've seen you around
Always in that uniform
Pirate hat just a little stained
Sword just a little worn
You know you can tell me anything
I'm not just tooting my own horn
Let's only ever be allies even if the whole background
dissolves
And little pink hearts can pop over our heads but we'll
keep our cool
Baby teach me to unworry
I will teach you to unhide
In the city where they don't need x-rays
To see each other's insides
Under a big old oak tree
Synchronicities gather in tide
Round and round centered by the grooves on an old oak
tree
Nibbled by minnows and licked by a salty sea
And I gotta say I'm amazed not in a good way at how
much I don't remember
I just gotta hope though I'm slow it's all part of what
I know the facts are pretend anyway
Yeah the facts are pretend anyway
He had all kind of reasons
Why she was unable to love him
She was just too young
She was too high strung
She was afraid of commitment
But all of the theories
That he recited
Played like the song
Of the unrequited
And baby, how long's it been now
Since you held me to your chest
And told me that you love me
More than all the rest?
It's such a shame that you won't talk to me
'Cuz I won't repeat after you
I believe that there is more to life
We could've loved each other through
But I was afraid of commitment
When it came to you
I'll tell you, if there is one instinct
I just can't get with at all
It's the urge to kill something beautiful
Just to hang it on your wall
Are you just too young?
Are you too high strung
To actually follow through
On all the love you said you had?
Baby, I never lied to you
Is all or nothing
your basic average super star
is singing about justice
and peace
and love
and I am glaring at the radio,
swearing
saying that's just what I was afraid of
the system gives you just enough
to make you think that you see change
they will sing you right to sleep
and then they'll screw you just the same
but I will wait
yes, I will wait for the truth
they think I make a big deal about nothing
but they still think I'm
kinda cute
they joke about the staus quo
to break the ice
once the ice is broken
I hope they all fall through
'cause this is no joke to me
they don't fool me
with their acts of sensitivity
they too shall pass
just like everyone
who's only here for my ass
and I can't wait
oh I can't wait til they get their due
baby I've only got a minute
baby I have to go
a minute is all my life
will ever allow
let's grow old
and die together
let's do it now
because you'll do all the jobs
no one else will do
and you'll step aside
and you will let me come through
you have all my respect
I'll leave it here when I go
maybe I never told you, baby
maybe you don't know
but maybe if we wait
if we wait things will improve
maybe we just wait
and things will improve
you know, they've got to improve
your basic average superstar
is singing about justice
and peace
and love
and I am glaring at the radio
swearing
saying that's just what I was afraid of
the system gives you just enough
to make you think that you see change
they'll sing you right to sleep
and then they'll screw you just the same
he says I know you have to go
you have gone before
we are fighting on two different fronts
of the same war
but no matter what else
I will do
I would have returned your greeting
if it weren't for the way you were looking at me
this street is not a market
and I am not a commodity
don't you find it sad that we can't even say hello
'cause you're a man
and I'm a woman
and the sun is getting low
there are some places that I can't go
as a woman I can't go there
and as a person I don't care
I don't go for the hey baby what's your name
and I'd alone thank you
just the same
I am up again against
the skin of my guitar
in the window of my life
looking out through the bars
I am sounding out the silence
avoiding all the words
I'm afraid I've said too much
I'm afraid of who has heard me
my father, he told me the story
and it was true
for his time
but now the story's different
maybe I should tell him mine
all the girls line up here
all the boys on the other side
I see your ranks are advancing
I see mine are left behind
I am up again against
the skin of my guitar
in the window of my life
looking out through the bars
I am sounding out the silence
avoiding all the words
I'm afraid I can never say enough
I'm afraid no one has heard me
and despite all the balls that I've been thrown
and forced to drop
on the social totem pole
I'm preciously close to the top
the put you in your place
and they tell you to behave
but no one can be free
until we're all on even grade
and I would have returned your greeting
the air comes off the ocean
the city smells fishy
the air is full of fish and mystery
whispering who, what, when
I am warning you I am weightless
and the wind is always shifting
so don't hang anything on me
if you ever want to see it again
I am telling you I'm different than you
think I am
and you can dangle your carrot
but I ain't gunna reach for it
cuz I need both my hands
to play my guitar
and life is a sleezy stranger
who looks vaguely familiar
flirting with a bimbo named disaster
at the end of the bar
and I am telling you that I am different
than you are
at night when you're asleep
self-hatred's going to creep in
and try to blame it on the devil
the one who's bed you sleep in
and don't tell me what they did to you
as though you had no choice
tell me, isn't that your picture?
isn't that your voice?
if you don't live what you sing about
your mirror is going to find out
oh yeah
I'd like to go to all the pretty parties
where all the pretty people go
and I ain't really all that pretty
but nobody will know
cuz everybody loves you
when you're a star
and nobody questions
what it takes to go that far
and life is a sleezy stranger
and this is his favorite bar
no I don't prefer obscurity
but I'm an idealistic girl
and I wouldn't work for you
no matter what you paid
and I may not be able
to change the whole fucking world
but I could be the million
that you never made
oh yeah
I could be the million that you never made
I could be the million that you'll never make
The glory of the atom begs a reverent word
The primary design of the whole universe
Yeah, let us sing its praises, let us bow our heads in prayer
At the magnificent consciousness incarnate there
The smallest unit of matter with its orbiting electrons
Echoing off the solar system like a hawk in the hills at dawn
The smallest unit of matter
Uniting bird and rock and tree and you and me
Oh, holy is the atom, the truly intelligent design
To which all of evolution is graciously aligned
The one single structure to which everything distills
The air, the wood smoke there and the hills
Oh, leave me here surrounded by everything that's real
Far outside the boundaries of the digitized ordeal, yeah
Leave me here awake, leave me here to heal
Human beings are a cross between monkeys and ants
You can see us from your spaceship
Melting the polar ice caps with our arrogance
Summon a congress of angels dressed in riot gear
We've got ourselves a serious situation down here
I have this great, great uncle who worked on the atomic bomb
He got a Nobel Prize in physics and a place in this song
And I bet there were no windows and no women in the room
When they applied themselves to the pure science of boom
Yeah, messin' with the atom is the highest form of blasphemy
Whether you are making weapons or simple electricity
Someone fashion me a pulpit, I have been called to engage
With the maniacal heretics of the nuclear age
Let the religious get religion, let consumers get a clue
Let scientists get perspective, let activists get their due
Let industry get a conscience, let the earth inherit the meek
Let the divinity of nature speak
Oh, the glory of the atom begs a reverent word
The primary design of the whole universe
Yes, let us sing its praises, let us bow our heads in prayer
She came to and her
Whole life was how she remembered it
She had a mouth full of fur
And she was laughing
She parked her hearse
Across three spaces posted for motorcycles only
And jumped out, shouting
"What the cus could make a nice girl
Like us feel so lonely?"
Are you weary as water
In a faucet left dripping
With an incessant sadness
Like a sad record skipping
And an ugly and ornery
And shadowy dread
Lurking like a troll under the bridge
Between your heart and your head
Please dumb blind kind sir
Lend little miss listless a bit of Christmas
She's been a real good girl
But now she's stuck here
The world is so little and still
Mysterious and ominous as ever before
Like an unmarked bottle full of pills
On the shelf right next to the ting
You were reaching for
Swing the groove 'round here
Where I can reach it
When I get my ass back on track
I'm gonna need it
Swing shift 'til I get the money
To buy me and my baby a moon full of honey
Then I'm gonna turn the nagging voices
Inside my head
That follow me to bed and say
You keep telling me I'm beautiful
But I feel a little less so each time
Your love is so colorful
It flashes like a neon sign
But I finally drove out where
The sky is dark enough to see stars
And I found I missed no one
Just listening to the swishing of distant cars
I hope I never see
The ocean again
Pushing and pulling at me
As I go deeper and deeper in
Til I'm so far from my shore
So far from what I came here for
I let you surround me
I let you drown me
Out with your din
And then I learned how to swim
I was floating above myself
Watching her do just what you wanted
Poor little friendly ghost
Wondering why her whole house feels haunted
I told myself I was strong enuf
That I had plenty of blood to give
And each elbow cradled a needle
But listless and faint ain't no way to live
So I hope I never see
The ocean again
Pushing and pulling at me
As I go deeper and deeper in
Til I'm so far from my shore
So far from what I came here for
I let you surround me
I let you drown me
Out with your din
And then I learned how to swim
You keep telling me I'm beautiful
But I feel a little less so each time
Your love is so colorful
It flashes like a neon sign
But I finally drove out where
The sky is dark enough to see stars
And I found I missed no one
white people are so scared of black people. they bulldoze out to the
country, and put up houses on little loop-d-loop streets. and while america
gets its heart cut right out of its chest, the berlin wall still runs down
main street separating east side from west. and nothing is stirring, not even
a mouse, in the boarded up stores and the broken down houses, so they hang
colorful banners off all the street lamps just to prove they got no manners,
no mercy, and no sense. and i wonder then what it will take for my city to
rise. first we admit our mistakes and then we open our eyes. the ghost of old
buildings are haunting parking lots in the city of good neighbors that history
forgot. i remember the first time i saw someone lying on the cold street, i
thought, "i can't just walk past you, this can't just be true." but
i learned by example to just keep moving my feet. it's amazing the things that
we all learn to do. so we're led by denial like lambs to the slaughter,
serving empires of style and carbonated sugar water and the old farmroad's a
four-lane that leads to the mall and my dreams are all guillotines waiting to
fall, and i wonder then what it will take for my country to rise. first we
admit our mistakes and then we open our eyes. 'til nation's last taker
succumbs to one last dumb decision and america the beautiful is just one big
On one hand, I'm walking
The way that I do
Looking like I'm lost in thought
But I'm looking for you
It's so subconscious
The way that I feel
Too bad my subconscious life
Is the more real
And I ain't in the best shape
That I've ever been in
But I know where I'm going
It ain't where I've been
I know where I'm going
And it ain't where I've been
Some kind of anxiety
Has gotten hold of my heart
And I just wanna run home
When I feel it start
Plastic bottles of water
Sealed windows, forced air
And gazillions of cell phones
Beaming through my hair
And I ain't in the best shape
That I've ever been in
But I know where I'm going
And it ain't where I've been
I know where I'm going
And it ain't where I've been
Tossing and turning
Between sleepless dreams
And I'm poised on the edge of
What it all means
So I turn my back
And I spread my arms wide
And I let myself fall in
Way deep inside
And I ain't in the best shape
That I've ever been in
But I know where I'm going
And it ain't where I've been
I know where I'm going
Love gets started and next thing you know
It leaves everything else behind
Love sets fire to your schedule
And then calls an end to time
And love ain't far behind you
Love ain't far behind
And when we're parted it's always too long
And every time you come back you come back so strong
And as soon as we can we gotta go lie down
In that place where our breath is one sound
And love ain't far behind you
Love ain't far behind
No, love ain't far behind you
Love ain't far behind
And I was there to hear your bell
The first time it rang
And the beauty was the beauty of everything
Yeah, we are star matter from the big bang
And that love ain't far behind you
Love ain't far behind
That love ain't far behind you
Love ain't far behind
Something about this landscape just don't feel right
Hyper air-conditioned and lit up all night
Like we just gotta see how comfortable comfortable can
Like we can't even bring ourselves to sweat
Sweat in the summer, shiver in the winter
Just enough to know that we're alive
Watch out for that TV, it's full of splinters
And remember you can always go outside
Really, really, really far outside
And some might call it conservation
And some might call it common sense
And maybe it's because I am Libra
But I say balance balance balance balance
I say balance balance balance balance
Who put all this stuff in my apartment?
Who put all this ice in my drink?
Who put the poison in the atmosphere?
Who put the poison in the way I think?
O women, won't you be our windows
Women who bleed and bleed and bleed
Women who swim with the tide, women who change when the
wind blows
Show us we are connected to everything
Show us we are not separate from everything
So here's to the trials of living
Here's to feeling our share of pain
All the way from childbirth to dying
Here's to being connected to everything
I don't keep much stuff around
I value my portability
but I will say that I have saved
every letter you ever wrote to me
the one you left on my windsheild
outside of that little motel
is in the pocket of my old gigbag
from back when life was more soft shelled
letters littered with little lewd pictures
drawn by the ghost of Woddy Guthrie
who would use your big thick hand
just to draw one two for me
and I think of your letters as love letters
which is how I think of songs
in that it is the writing of them
that tend to carry us along
and I dance to one of your old tunes
with my true love on our wedding day
and your voice sang the way my heart would sing
if it finally knew just what to say
two people pulled over on the same night
to look up at the same stars
they both found their wheels were spinning
in a soft shoulder
when they got back into their cars
and they missed fate's appointed rendezvous
and then a whole lotta time went by
and finally they were done
worshipping the landscape
and they put down their hands
and moved into the sky
and they had barely said hello
and it was time to say goodbye
I don't mind waiting in line, no, no
I don't mind if the bills pile up and the work is slow
I don't mind the gas or the groceries or the grind
Long as I'm with you I'm having a good time
I don't mind the stoner waiter or the poorly cooked food
I don't mind little miss kitty or her knuckle head dude
I don't mind if every last person here is ugly and rude
Long as I'm with you I got good attitude, long as I'm with you
We could be stuck in traffic for over a week
With a car full of quintuplets who are all cutting teeth
And around my neck could be a flaming Christmas wreath
And I'd be smiling under, smiling underneath
I don't mind waking up early for a flight that's delayed
I don't mind our week's vacation was chilly and gray
I don't mind the traffic cops or the TSA
Long as I'm with you I'm having a good day, long as I'm with you
I don't mind spilling my hot sauce onto my white shirt
I don't mind the twinge when I walk in that knee that I hurt
I don't mind if my gums peeling back or my hair getting thin
Long as I'm with you I win, long as I'm with you
We could be stuck in traffic for over a week
With a car full of quintuplets who are all cutting teeth
And around my neck could be a flaming Christmas wreath
how sick of me must you be by now? while you're standing just outside of
what your pride will allow, always reaching into yourself to find a new way to
understand me. when i'm sure that there's no one else in the world that could
withstand me. yeah, the first person in your life to ever really matter is
saying the last thing that you want to hear. and you are listening hard through
the splintering shards of your life as it shatters. and you're standing firm
and you're staying close and you're seeing clear. i took to the stage with my
outrage in the bad old days when you were the "make me mad" guy. but
the songs they come out more slowly now that i am the bad guy. and i say, baby
i'm sorry that i am so crazy, i am astounded by your patience. but you say/
"believe or not baby, the joy you bring me still outweighs it."
yeah, the first
person in your life to ever really matter is saying the last thing that you
want to hear. and you are listening hard through the splintering shards of
your life as it shatters, and you're standing firm and you're staying close
I had to leave the house of fashion
And go forth naked from its doors
'cause women should be allies
And not competitors
I had to leave the house of god
Because the cross replaced the wheel
And the goddesses were all out in the garden
With the plants that nurture and heal
I had to leave the house of privilege
Spend christmas homeless and feeling bad
To learn privilege is a headache
That you don't know that you don't have
I had to leave the house of television
To start noticing the clouds
It's amazing the stuff you see when
You finally shed that shroud
I had leave the house of conformity
In order to make art
I had to be more and less true
To learn to tell the two apart
I had to leave the house of fear
Just about as soon as I could crawl
Ignore my face on a wanted poster
Stuck to the post office wall
I had leave the house of self-importance
To doodle my first tattoo
To realize a tattoo is no more permanent
Than I am, and who
Ever said that life is suffering
I think they had their finger on the pulse of joy
And the power of transcendence
i cannot name this
i cannot explain this
and i really don't want to
just call me shameless
i can't even slow this down
let alone stop this
and i keep looking around
but i cannot top this
if i had any sense
i guess i'd fear this
i guess i'd keep it down
so no one would hear this
i guess i'd shut my mouth
and rethink a minute
but i can't shut it now
'cuz there's something in it
we're in a room without a door
and i am sure without a doubt
they're gonna wanna know
how we got in here
and they're gonna wanna know
how we plan to get out
we better have a good explanation
for all the fun that we had
'cuz they are coming for us, baby
they are going to be mad
they are going to be mad at us
this is my skeleton
this is the skin it's in
that is, according to light
and gravity
i'll take off my disguise
the mask you met me in
'cuz i got something
for you to see
just gimme your skeleton
give me the skin it's in
yeah baby, this is you
according to me
i never avert my eyes
i never compromise
so nevermind
the poetry
we're in a room without a door...
i gotta cover my butt 'cuz i covet
another man's wife
i got to divide my emotions
between wrong and right
then i get to see how close i can get to it
without giving in
then i get to rub up against it
till i break the skin
rub up against it
till i break the skin
they're gonna be mad at us
they're gonna be mad at me and you
yeah, they're gonna be mad at us
and all the things we wanna do
they're gonna be mad at us
they're gonna be mad at me and you
they're gonna be mad at us
and all the things we like do
just please don't name this
please don't explain this
just blame it all on me
say i was shameless
say i couldn't slow it down
let alone stop it
and say you just hung around
You're my seeing eye dog and I am blind
You take me there every time
With that winning combination of loyal and kind
Your eyes like wells to the water of your mind
I want to take a long, cool drink from your bucket
To every thought I could think now, I say fuck it
I just want to go with how I feel
Like my only job here
Is to care for and covet you, dear
I love the way your stories seem to fall from your lips
With just enough slobber so it sparkles and drips
The way you hang the whole room on a word
Like a little stick in the beak of a bird
First we touched fingers and then we touched toes
Then my army surrendered
My government overthrown
I threw myself a little role reversal and followed you home
Just dying to be chewed
The dog was chosen by the bone
Be my seeing eye dog
Cuz I am blind
Just take me there
One more time
With that winning combination of loyal and kind
Your eyes like wells to the water of your mind
I want to take a long, cool drink from your bucket
To every thought I could think now, I say fuck it
I just want to go with how I feel
second intermission
anticipation
you know the third act
small talk drops out of the play
you're standing in the lobby
tightening your tourniquet
waiting for it
and then the bell sounds
and the lights flash
and there's all these questions milling around
and there's no time to ask
no bliss for little miss leading
cuz she's learning about bleeding
but what is love if not exquisite
our only saving grace
or is it?
and somewhere inside your iris
blooms the reflection of my surprise
as you stroll past every last do not enter
and touch me at my epicenter
and the bell sounds
and the lights flash
and there's all these questions milling around
and there's no time to ask
I'm always trying to get there
I never really get there
to that quiet place where
I accept myself
instead I'm deep inside some high school
locker room no clothing
popping the zits of my self loathing
under fluorescent lights
and the bell sounds
and the lights flash
and there's all these questions milling around
and you're too ashamed to ask
second intermission
anticipation
you know the third act
small talk drops out of the play
and you're standing in the lobby
tightening your tourniquet
waiting for it
rush hour
and the day's dawning
the rain came
and pushed me under the awning
the puddles grew and threw themselves at me
with every passing car
I'm shielding my guitar
and there were some things that I
did not tell him
there were certain things
he did not need to know
and there were some days
when I did not love him
he didn't understand me
and I don't know why
I didn't go
he said change the channel
I've got problems of my own
I'm so sick of hearing about drugs
and aids
and people without homes
and I said, well,
I'd like to sympathize with that
but if you don't understand
then how can you act
I expected summer to be there in the morning
I woke to the alarm
but she was out of arms reach
sneaking out
on silent thighs
that were spent and sore
from the hot nights that came before
he said I looked for you
I don't know why
I said I was wearing black so you could
see me against the sky
take your big leather boots
and your buckles and your chains
put them on a downtown train
I expected he would be there in the morning
I awoke to the alarm
he was still in arm's reach
but his body was just a disguise
his mind had wandered off long ago
you see in his eyes
love isn't over when the sheets are stained
in my head there remains
so much left to be said
make me laugh, make me cry, enrage me
I could sing you 'round a pole
I could talk you up a tree
But when it comes to what really matters
You are way more clever than me
I know I wanted to be challenged
But I was unclear about how
So I'll be the guy with the toolbox
And you be the fun-lovin' gal
And I'll learn to fix stuff
If you will teach me to love
And God'll radiate out from within us
Instead of this bullshit from above
And we could dance 'round like monkeys
After the paparazzi have gone home
Having let go forever
The fallacy of ever being alone
I could sing you 'round a pole
Like a ball at the end of a rope
Have you ducking and sluggin' protecting your head
But I decided just to love you back instead
'Cause I have studied my own pain
Like an ambitious scientist
And I've discovered it's all the same
And has nothing to do with this
So I'll learn to fix stuff
If you will teach me to love
And God'll radiate out from within us
Instead of this bullshit from above
We can dance 'round like monkeys
After the paparazzi have gone home
Having let go forever
She says my ass hurts
when I sit down
she says my feet hurt
from just standing around
I think my body
is as restless as my mind
and I don't know if I can roll with it
this time
packed his uniforms
and drove him to the base
she was crying all the way
the world looked her in the face
and said
roll with it, baby
make it your career
keep the home fires burning
till america is in the clear
the mainstream is so polluted with lies
once you get wet, it's so hard to get dry
we're all taught how to justify
history
as it passes by
and it's your world
that comes crashing down
when the big boys decide
to throw their weight around
but just roll with it baby
make it your career
keep the home fires burning
till america is in the clear
what if the enemy
isn't in a distant land
what if the enemy lies behind
the voice of command
the sound of war
is a child's cry
behind tinted windows,
they just drive by
all I know is that those
who are going to be killed
aren't those who preside
on capitol hill
I told him,
don't fill the front lines
of their war
those assholes aren't worth dying for
but he said
roll with it, baby
make it your career
keep the home fires burning
till america is in the clear
she says my ass hurts
when I sit down
she says my feet hurt
from just standing around
I think my body is as restless as my mind
and I'm not gonna roll with it this time
Manhattan is an island
Like the women who are
Surrounded by children in the car
Surrounded by cars
Or manhattan was a project
That projected the worst of mankind
First one and then the other
Has made its mark on my mind
It's sixty years later near the hypo-center of the a-bomb
I'm standing in the middle of hiroshima
Watching a twisted old eucalyptus tree wave
One of the very few lives that survived and lives on
Remembering the day it was suddenly thousands of degrees
In the shade
And what all of nature gave birth to
Terror took in a blinding raid
With the kind of pain
It would take cancer so many years just to say
Oh to grow up gagged and blindfolded
A great big mans world in your little girls head
The voice of the great mother drowned out
In the constant honking haunting the accident scene up ahead
Oh to grow up hypnotized and then try to shake yourself awake
Cause you can sense what has been lost
Cause you can sense what is at stake
Yeah it took me a few years to catch on that those days I catch everyone's eye
Correspond with those nights of the month when the moon gleans like an egg in the sky
And men are using a sense they don't even know they have just to watch me walk by
And me, I'm supposed to be sensible, leave my animal outside to cry
But when all of nature conspires to make me her glorious whore
It's cause in my body I hold the secret recipe of precisely what life is for
And the patriarchy that looks to shame me for it is the same one making war
And I've said too much already but I'll tell you something more
To split yourself in two is just the most radical thing you can do
So girl if that shit ain't up to you, then you simply are not free
Cause from the sunlight on my hair to which eggs I grow to term
To the expression that I wear, all I really own is me
I mean to split yourself in two is just the most radical thing you can do
Goddess forbid that little adam should grow so jealous of eve
And in the face of the great farce of the nuclear age
New Year's Eve, we dropped mushrooms and danced around the house
Making music with everything that we found
Incantation replaced resolution
And we vowed to allow each perfection that we could be
And the Goddess sent word that this would be a red letter year
They didn't mention how much shit was gonna change around here
It's just as well we weren't swollen with unfocused dread
We had visions of sugarplums dancing in our heads
Dancing in our heads
Oh, first you go under and then coming up gives you bends
And when you break the surface all you see is your friends
So you grab your purple crayon and flesh out the picture behind
And finally the whole world is made of one unbroken line
One unbroken line
When you wake up sick as a dog with dull eyes and really bad hair
Standing under a lit sign with the words on air
And the water is rising, it's coming in everywhere
Just remember you are there, you're always, always there
And representing the white race a man with a monkey for a face
Is flying over in his helicopter whistling Dixie and playing dumb
In a town that might put a gun to your throat
Or rip the roof right off your place
There's a mold crawling up the walls and falling asleep in your lungs
And you and I both know how to drink so
We will always have work in this town
And besides the police are stationed at the bridge
And they're preventing passage to higher ground
So let's pull up a barstool and get ourselves a ringside seat
you crawled into my bed
like some sort of giant insect
and i found myself spellbound
that night at the sight of you there
beautiful and grotesque and all the rest of that bug stuff
bluffing your way into my mouth
behind my teeth, reaching for my scars
that night we got kicked out of two bars
and laughed our way home
that night you leaned over
and threw up into your hair
and i held you there thinking
i would offer you my pulse
if i thought it would be useful
i would give you my breath
except
the problem with death is that you have
some hundred years and then they can
build building on your only bones
100 years and then your grave is not your own
we lie in out beds, and our graves
unable to save ourselves from
the quaint tragedies we invent
and then undo from the stupid circumstances
we slomen through
and i realized that night that the hall light
which seemed so bright when you turned it on is nothing
compared to the dawn
which is nothing, compared to the light
which seeps from me while you're sleeping beautiful
and grotesque resting caconed in my room
that night we got kicked out of two bars
and laughed our way home
and i held you there thinking
i would offer you my pulse
i would give you my breath
you're taking up lots of space
your shit is everywhere
your breath is all up in my face
your hands are swarming in the air
you're the first one out the car
and then the loudest one in the bar
tell me is there something wrong
girlfriend, what's with this new version of who you are
so she lifts her chin and
squints at me
to assess what I think I know
she says my heart has some dangerous neighborhoods
so beware where you try to go
and they say that the truth will set you free
but then again, so will a lie
it depends if you're trying to get to the promised land
or if you're just trying to get by
what is a camera but a box of light
what is a guitar but a box of sound
you think I don't understand
I think I might
what it is to
to harvest the emptiness
and just ride it around
and maybe your chest is an empty shell
with ribs of spiraling coral
where a perfect pearl of sadness resides
but if you ever need it here
I could come and press it there
Lately I've been glaring into mirrors picking myself
apart
You'd think at my age I'd thought of something better to
Than making insecurity into a full time job
Making insecurity into an art
And I fear my life will be over
And I will have never lived in unfettered
Always glaring into mirrors
Mad, I don't look better
But now here is this tiny baby
And they say she looks just like me
And she is smiling at me with that present infant glee
Yes, and I would defend to the ends of the earth
Her perfect right to be, be, be, be
So I'm beginning to see some problems
With the ongoing work of my mind
And I've got myself a new mantra
It says don't forget to have a good time
Don't let the sellers of stuff power enough to rob you of
your grace
Love is all over the place
There's nothing wrong with your face
Love is all over the place
I search your profile
for a translation
I study the conversation
like a map
'cause I know there is strength
in the differences between us
and I know there is comfort
where we overlap
come here
stand in front of the light
stand still
so I can see your sillouette
I hope
you have got all night
'cause I'm not done looking,
no, I'm not done looking yet
each one of us
wants a piece of the action
you can hear it in what we say
you can see it in what we do
we negotiate with chaos
for some sense of satisfaction
if you won't give it to me
at least give me a better view
come here
stand in front of the light
stand still
so I can see your sillouette
I hope
you have got all night
'cause I'm not done looking
I'm not done looking yet
I build each one of my songs
out of glass
so you can see me inside of them
I suppose
or you could just leave the image of me
in the backround, I guess
and watch your own reflection superimposed
I build each one of my days out of hope
and I give that hope your name
and I don't know you that well
but it don't take much to tell
either you don't have the balls
or you don't feel the same
come here
stand in front of the light
stand still
so I can see your sillouette
I hope
you have got all night
'cause I'm not done looking
no, I'm not done looking yet
I seach your profile for a translation
I study the conversation like a map
'cause I know there is strength
in the differences between us
and I know there is comfort
no no no no no no no no no no no no
no more
no no no no no no no no no no no no
no more
no no no
no more
it's gonna be sudden
it's gonna be strange
i'm gonna turn on a dime
give you five cents change
it's gonna be long
overdue
it's all gonna come out
outta me, on to you
outta me, onto you...
one of these days
you're gonna push too hard
we'll go on like we've always done
'til you go too far
yeah one of these days
it's gonna reach the top
then it's gonna start to spill
and it's not gonna
stop
outta me, onto you...
no more...
some people wear their smile
like a disguise
those people who smile a lot
watch the eyes
i know it 'cuz i'm like that a lot
you think everything's okay
and it is
'til it's not
outta me, onto you...
no more
some people wear their heart
up on their sleeve
i wear mine underneath my right pant leg
strapped to my boot
don't think cause i'm easy, i'm naive
don't think i won't pull it out
don't think i won't shoot
outta me, onto you...
most people like to talk a lot
including you
you know there isn't much i have to say
that i wouldn't rather
just shut up and do
i'm gonna miss you
when you're gone
yeah i'm gonna be torn
just remember that i love you
just remember you were warned
outta me, onto you...
no more...
In a forest of stone
underneath the corporate canopy
where the sun
rarely
filters
down
the ground
is not so soft
not so soft
they build buildings to house people
making money
or they build buildings to make money
off of housing people
it's true
like a lot of things are true
I am foraging for a phone booth on the forest floor
that is not so soft
I look up
it looks like the buildings are burning
but it's just the sun setting
the solar system calling an end
to another business day
eternally circling signally
the rythmic clicking on and off
of computers
the pulse
of the american machine
the pulse
that draws death dancing
out of anonymous side streets
you know
the ones that always get dumped on
and never get plowed
it draws death dancing
out of little countries
with funny languages
where the ground is getting harder
and it was
that
soft
before
those who call the shots
are never in the line of fire
where there's life for hire
out there
if a flag of truth were raised
we could watch every liar
rise to wave it
here
we learn america like a script
playwright
birthright
same thing
we bring
ourselves to the role
we're all rehearsing for the presidency
I always wanted to be
commander in chief
of my one woman army
but I can envision the mediocrity
of my finest hour
it's the failed america in me
it's the fear that lives
in a forest of stone
underneath the corporate canopy
where the sun
rarely
filters
down
and the ground
growing up, it was just me and my mom against the
world.
and all my sympathies were with her when i was a little
girl
and i've seen both my parents play out the hands that
they were dealt
as each year goes by, i know more about how my father
must have felt.
i just want you to understand that i know what all the
fighting
was for, and i just want you to understand that i'm not
angry anymore.
no, i'm not angry anymore.
she taught me how to wage cold war with quiet charm
but i just want to walk through my life unarmed.
to accept, and just get by like my father learned to
but without all the acceptance of getting by that got
my father through
i just want you to understand that i know what all the
fighting was for
and i just want you to understand that i'm not angry
anymore.
no, i'm not angry anymore.
night falls like people into love
we generate our own light to compensate
for the lack of light from above.
every time we fight a cold wind blows our way,
we can learn like the trees, how to bend,
how to sway and say
i, i think i understand
what all this fighting is for,
and baby i just want you to understand
that i'm not angry anymore.
Most of the time I'm clear focused all around
Most of the time I can keep both feet on the ground
I can follow the path, I can read the sign
I can stay right with it, and the road unwinds
I can handle whatever I stumble upon
I don't even notice that she's gone
Most of the time
Most of the time it's well understood
Most of the time I wouldn't change it if I could
I can make it all match up, I can hold my own
I can deal with the situation right down to the bone
I can survive and I can endure
And I don't even think about her
Most of the time
Most of the time my head is on straight
Most of the time I'm strong enough not to hate
I don't build up illusion 'til it makes me sick
I ain't afraid of confusion no matter how thick
I can smile in the face of mankind
Don't even remember what her lips felt like on mine
Most of the time
Most of the time she ain't even in my mind
I wouldn't know her if I saw her, she's that far behind
Most of the time I can't even be sure
If she was ever with me or if I was ever with her
Most of the time I'm halfways content
Most of the time I know exactly where it all went
I don't cheat on myself, I don't run and hide
Hide from the feelings that I buried inside
I don't compromise and I don't pretend
I don't even care if I ever see her again
I'm holding here a book
Notable, but not the greatest
Stolen for me by the latest
In a long line of thieves
And I'm just about to drop it
Down that manhole of memories
When I realize it doesn't bother me
Like love's mementos usually do
And I look up to see who's different here
The latest me or the latest you
Course, you're the kind of guy who doesn't lie
He just doctors everything
Chooses some unassuming finger
And quietly moves his wedding ring
Who rewrites his autobiography
For any pretty girl who'll sing
But you can't fool the queen, baby
Cuz I married the king
And maybe it was I who betrayed his majesty
With no opposite reality
Like a puddle with no reflection
Of the sky or the trees
But after my dreaded beheading
I tied that sucker back on with a string
And I guess I'm pretty different now
Considering
I kissed you on the street that night
On the far side of four
But I didn't like the taste
In my mouth or yours
And ignoring the persona you wore for my benefit
For once I had the balls to call it
Just call it
But a lesson must be lived
In order to be learned
And the clarity to see and stop this now
That is what I've earned
And maybe it was I who betrayed his majesty
With no opposite reality
Like a puddle with no reflection
Of the sky or the trees
But after my dreaded beheading
I tied that sucker back on with a string
And I guess I'm pretty different now
Considering
I'm holding here a book
Notable, but not the greatest
Stolen for me by the latest
In a long line of thieves
And I'm just about to drop it
Down that manhole of memories
When I realize it doesn't bother me
And heartache not so dire
Cuz I looked up to see integrity
my breast is cradled
in the curve of my guitar
I'm breaking strings
and other things
playing hard
no I'm not on the rag
but I'm not on the run
I am matching the big boys
one for one
and I must admit,
I'm having myself some fun
because the music business
is still run by men
like every business
and everything
but we can sing like a sonofabitch
make them twitch around their eyes
make them apologize
he had a mean streak
three miles wide
it was a long walk
to the other side
she tried to get through it
holding on to her smile
but he wasn't worth the time it takes
to make that mistake
he just wasn't worthwhile
she's been under command
of the wrong man
and she'll give you everything
except the upper hand
she was his mother, and his lover,
and his wife
now she wants the luxury
of her own life
'cause the marriage business
is still run by men
like every business
and every thing
but she can sing like a sonofabitch
make him twitch around his eyes
girl, make him apologize
they all want to lead the fight
and they know what they know all right
but there's so much
they don't understand
what about the other sex
what about the other hand
they only know what they've been told
and they're well cast
but they don't break the mold
and good sources are not enough
so she calls their bluff
yeah, she calls their bluff
'cause the revolution business
is still run by men
like every business
and everything
but we can sing like a sonofabitch
make them twitch around their eyes
until they realize
fourteenth street and the garbage swirls like a cyclone
three o'clock in the afternoon and I am going home
F train is full of high school students
so much shouting
so much laughter
last night's underwear in my back pocket
sure sign of the morning after
take me home
take me home and leave me there
think I'm going to cry, I don't know why
think I'm going to sing myself a lullaby
feel free to listen
feel free to stare
I live in New York New York the city that never shuts
in the daylight everything is so gory
you can hear snatches of stranger's sorry stories
and I moved there from buffalo but that's nothing
the TRICO plant moved to mexico
left my uncle standing out in the cold
said there's your last paycheck have fun growing old
take me home
take me home and leave me there
think I'm going to cry, I don't know why
think I'm going to sing myself a lullaby
feel free to listen
feel free to stare
rockabye baby
in the treetop
when the wind blows
cradle will rock
when the bough breaks
the cradle will fall
down will come baby
cradle and all
youth is beauty
money is beauty
hell, beauty is beauty sometimes
it's the luck of the draw
it's the natural law
it's a joke
it's a crime
I was bored
you were bored
it was a meeting of the minds
now it's three in the afternoon and I can't leave too
soon
saying thank you, I had a nice time
take me home
take me home and leave me there
think I'm going to cry, I don't know why
think I'm going to sing myself a lullaby
feel free to listen
feel free to stare
maybe I'll live my whole life
just getting by
maybe I'll be discovered
maybe I'll be colonized
you could try to train me like a pet
you could try to teach me to behave
But I'll tell you, if I haven't learned it yet
you know,
I ain't gonna sit, I ain't gonna stay
take me home
take me home and leave me there
think I'm going to cry, I don't know why
think I'm going to sing myself a lullaby
feel free to listen
in a coffee shop in a city
which is every coffee shop
in every city
on a day which is every day
i pick up a magazine
which is every magazine
and read a story then forgot it right away
they say goldfish got no memory
i guess their lives are much like mine
the little plastic castle
is a surprise every time
it's hard to say if they are happy
when they don't seem much to mind
from the shape of your shaved head
i recognized your silhoutte
as you stepped in out of the sun and sat down
your sleepy smile eclipsed everyone else in the room
as they paused to snear at the girls from out of town
i said, "Baby, look at you this morning
you are so way the fucking cutest
be careful getting cofee
i think these people want to shoot us
i think there's some kind of competition here
to see who can be the rudest
people talk about my image
like i come in two dimensions
like lipstick is a sign of my decling mind
like what i happen to be wearing the day
that someone takes my picture
is my new statement for all womankind
i wish they could see us now
in leather bras and rubber shorts
like some ridiculous team uniform
for some ridculous new sport
quick someone call the girl police
and file a report
in a coffe shop in a city
which is every coffee shop
in every city
Hey little bag of sugar floating in your biosphere
Summon the courage to put down your landing gear
And come out here
'Cause I am as exhausted as a drowning polar bear
Swimming around, looking for a ride
And it's so god awful hot outside
Quiet kicking me in the rib every time Adam tells what he did
Man creates woman, he says
Sweeping his hand through the air like mister show biz
And you're gonna love this world if it's the last thing I do
The whole extravagant joke topped in bitter sweet chocolate goo
For someone who ain't even here yet look how much the world loves you
Look how much the world loves you
The candles are burning down, the music is fading
Your piñata is torn, it's time to be born
And death is at the door peddling that old fashioned blood and gore
Here at the house of creation, cue the sobering moment of revelation
You're gonna love this world if it's the last thing I do
The whole extravagant joke topped in bitter sweet chocolate goo
For someone who ain't even here yet look how much the world loves you
Can't sit on my porch and smoke a j,
And remember how peaceful life can be.
But all night long are a bunch of pushers
Sellin' drugs right there on my tv.
Drugs that whether or not I buy
Are gonna end up in my water supply
Along with who knows what else
Who knows when.
Just gotta take a deep breath and drink it in.
Round here if there's one thing people know
It's that government ain't there for you it's all for show.
And I'm tryin' to tell 'em, it don't have to be so!
But I can understand that their confidence is low.
Cuz' round here people so high they can see
Over the tops of the tall pine trees,
Down to the mouth of the Mississippi.
Blood ignited in a blighted sky,
Blood in the water, like we all could die
Blood on the reeds glistening in the sun
Blood on our hands, each and every one.
Here in the calm before the wars,
When the earth shrugs us off like dinosaurs.
Here in the sunset days of yore, the first signs washing ashore.
Goddess come and lift us
Here in deepest Louisiane.
In the gut where hunches come from
A message goes out loud as it can.
And you'd a thought we'd a come more far somehow
Since the changing of the guard and all.
I mean, dude could be FDR right now,
And instead he's just shifting his weight.
And the disappointment is the knockout blow
Filmed in torturous slow-mo.
Oh hope please come where I can see
Don't let the poison get the best of me.
Goddess come and lift us
Here in deepest Louisiane.
In the gut where hunches come from
A message goes out loud as it can.
Truth is for telling
Truth is foretold.
Truth is for those with the guts to behold.
We got vampires down here in Louisiane
We need voodoo dolls, we need talisman.
We need wooden stakes and shards of light
We need harbingers riding through the night.
We need fountain pens, we need whale harpoons
To overthrow the oil tycoons.
Cuz' there's no fish in the water, no birds in the sky,
No life in the soil, no end to the lie,
No time like the present
And it is passing us by...
But it's never to late, never too late to try
Cuz' if we all had to change, we all just would.
And we would move closer, and that would be good.
And we would buy local and we would buy less
And we'd realize that wasn't our happiness.
No that wasn't our happiness (x3)
No that wasn't.
Goddess come and lift us
Here in deepest Lousiane. (x3)
In the gut where hunches come from
no you didn't just leave
I actually kicked you out
I couldn't hardly believe
that the words came out my mouth
you couldn't hardly believe
what you heard yourself discuss
and you packed up all your things
and you said goodbye to us
tell me what is in the way
in the way of my love for you?
tell me what is in the way
in the way of my love for you?
hafta get it outta of the way of my love
hafta get it outta of the way of my love
and now there's nothing left to lose,
and the screen just says "Fini"
and each night in separate rooms
we cry separately
and every day we yell
down each other's holes
two slippery strippers
swinging round two poles
tell me what is in the way
in the way of my love for you?
tell me what is in the way
in the way of my love for you?
yeah there's something in the way of my love for you
yeah there's something in the way of my love
so we took down all the pictures
and then we took down all the walls
packed up our expectations
piled them in the hall
yeah we bagged our future
kicked it to the curb
and then we stood there unencumbered
and we stood there undeterred
cause we were done clinging
to the things we were afraid to lose
and the only thing left
was a breathtaking view
you looked at me
and I looked at you
and we said, "How about now,
"what you wanna do?"
now there's something in the way
in the way of my love for you
now there's something in the way
in the way of my love for you
I have to get it out the way
out the way of my love for you
I have to get it out the way
out the way of my love for you
no you didn't just leave
no you didn't just leave
no you didn't just leave
Such an intent stare
One eye at a time
Your talons like fish hooks
You are a rare bird
The kind I wouldn't even mind
Writing in the margins of my books
Sometimes I see myself
Through the eyes of a stray dog
From an alley across the street
And my whole mission just seems so finite
My whole saga just seems so cheap
I mean I know that now is all there is
And love'll just makes you cry
So I live for the sight of a rare bird
Suddenly flying by
And I meet your stare
One eye at a time
Writing in the margins
Of my mind
Sometimes I see myself
Through the eyes of a stray dog
From an alley across the street
And my whole mission just seems so fine
My whole saga just seems so cheap
And that's when your song calls to me
From way up in a tree
And I look up
And the whole world
standing like john wayne
she is full framed
she is center stage
and my imagination is
rattling in its cage
I didn't really notice
when everything else disappeared
but as far as I'm concerned
if it isn't her
it isn't here
she says do I know you
I say well, no, not biblically
but I've been waiting for you come
and talk to me
I have been playing
too many of those boy girl games
she says honey you are safe here
this is a girl girl thing
I told him I loved him
so he thought I'd roll over and play dead
he was god's gift to hypocrisy
with weak knees and a big fat head
she says honey don't tell me
that old story
you are boring me
just tell me do you like me
tell me what you're gonna do
now that you're free
standing like john wayne
she is full framed
she is center stage
and my imagination
is rattling in its cage
I didn't really notice
when everything else disappeared
but as far as I'm concerned
if it isn't her
it isn't here
as far as I'm concerned
if it isn't her
I'm invincible
so are you
we do all the things
they say we can't do
we walk around
in the middle of the night
and if it's too far to walk
we just hitch a ride
we got rings of dirt
around our necks
we talk like auctioneers
and we bounce like checks
we smell like shit
still, when we walk down the street
all the boys line up
to throw themselves at our feet
I say I think he likes you
you say I think he do too
go and get him girl
before he gets you
I'll be watching you
from the wings
I will come to your rescue
if he tries anything
it's a long long road
it's a big big world
we are wise wise women
we are giggling girls
we both carry a smile
to show when we're pleased
we both carry a switchblade
in our sleeves
tell you one thing
I'm gonna make noise when I go down
for ten square blocks
they're gonna know I died
all the goddesses will come up
to the ripped screen door
and say,
what do you want, dear?
and I'll say,
I want inside
I say I think he likes you
you say I think he do too
go and get him girl
before he gets you
I'll be watching you
from the wings
I will come to your rescue
Me and all the kids from the neighbourhood
We'd play out in the street all summer long
Rule was we had to go home at night
When the street lights came on
We were oblivious to the rest of the world
And we'd hold up the cars in the street
Yeah, we'd always play boys against girls
And both sides would cheat
Strange men would stop their cars at the curb
Say, "Hey sweetheart come here"
And I'd go up to the window
And they'd have their dick out in their hands
With a sick little sneer
I'd say,"Here we go again!
Yeah, ok this time you win"
And I would feel dirty, I'd feel ashamed
But I wouldn't let it stop my game
We would play 'hide and go seek'
Territory would be the whole block
Sometimes the older boys when they'd find you
They wouldn't want to tag you, they'd just want to talk
They'd say "What would you do for a quarter?
Come on, we don't have that much time"
And I'd think a minute and I'd say
"Ok, give me the quarter first, fine"
This time you win
Here we go again!
And I would feel dirty and I would feel ashamed
But I wouldn't let it stop my game
I remember my first trip alone on the Greyhound bus
A man who put his hands on me as soon as night fell
And I remember when I was leavin' how excited I was
And I remember when I arrived, I didn't feel so well
I remember the teacher at school got me so sick and scared
I went into the bathroom and threw up in my hair
And I could go on, but you know, it just gets worse
And I could probably stop there
Girl, next time he wants to know
What your problem is
Girl, next time he wants to know
Where the anger comes from
Just tell him this time the problem's his
Tell him the anger just comes
hold me down
i am floating away
into the overcast skies
over my home town
on election day
what is it about birmingham?
what is it about buffalo?
did the hate filled wanna build bunkers
in your beautiful red earth
they want to build them
in our shiny white snow
now i've drawn closed the curtain
in this little booth where the truth has no place
to stand
and i am feeling oh so powerless
in this stupid booth with this useless
little lever in my hand
and outside my city is bracing
for the next killing thing
standing by the bridge and praying
for the next doctor
martin
luther
king
it was just one shot
through the kitchen window
it was just two miles from here
if you fly like a crow
a bullet came to visit a doctor
in his one safe place
a bullet ensuring the right to life
whizzed past his kid and his wife
and knocked his glasses
right off of his face
and the blood poured off the pulpit
yeah the blood poured down the picket lines
yeah, the hatred was immediate
and the vengence was divine
so they went and stuffed god
down the barrel of a gun
and after him
they stuffed his only son
hello birmingham
it's buffalo
i heard you had some trouble
down there again
and i'm just calling to let to know
that someone understands
i was once escorted
through the doors of a clinic
by a man in a bulletproof vest
and no bombs went off that day
so i am still here to say
birmingham
i'm wishing you all of my best
oh birmingham
i'm wishing you all of my best
oh birmingham
i'm wishing you all of my best
it's a heartbreak even situation
nothing lost and nothing gained
so i'm 10 years old again
standing in the backyard waving at a train
i feel you make love to me slightly
every time you let a little laugh slip too soon
and the moment passes over us so lightly
it feels like sand blowing over a dune
you try not to let your emotions show
but it ain't a balloon you can just let go
it's an ice cream cone dripping in the sun
sticky hands
sticky arms
sticky situation
it's a heartbreak even situation
one part powerful elation
one part pitiful and frail
and i'm trying to feel my way around
a book of promises written in braille
there is pressure from within this
and pressure from above
there is pressure on our tenuous, strenuous love
and there's wet wool blankets one, two, three
laid onto my chest
'til i just can't breathe
and i try not to let my emotions show
but it ain't a balloon i can just let go
it's an ice cream cone dripping in the sun
sticky hands
sticky arms
yes,
us people are just poems
we're 90% metaphor
with a leanness of meaning
approaching hyper-distillation
and once upon a time
we were moonshine
rushing down the throat of a giraffe
yes, rushing down the long hallway
despite what the p.a. announcement says
yes, rushing down the long stairs
with the whiskey of eternity
fermented and distilled
to eighteen minutes
burning down our throats
down the hall
down the stairs
in a building so tall
that it will always be there
yes, it's part of a pair
there on the bow of noah's ark
the most prestigious couple
just kickin back parked
against a perfectly blue sky
on a morning beatific
in its indian summer breeze
on the day that america
fell to its knees
after strutting around for a century
without saying thank you
or please
and the shock was subsonic
and the smoke was deafening
between the setup and the punch line
cuz we were all on time for work that day
we all boarded that plane for to fly
and then while the fires were raging
we all climbed up on the windowsill
and then we all held hands
and jumped into the sky
and every borough looked up when it heard the first
blast
and then every dumb action movie was summarily
surpassed
and the exodus uptown by foot and motorcar
looked more like war than anything i've seen so far
so far
so far
so fierce and ingenious
a poetic specter so far gone
that every jackass newscaster was struck dumb and
stumbling
over 'oh my god' and 'this is unbelievable' and on and
and i'll tell you what, while we're at it
you can keep the pentagon
keep the propaganda
keep each and every tv
that's been trying to convince me
to participate
in some prep school punk's plan to perpetuate
retribution
perpetuate retribution
even as the blue toxic smoke of our lesson in
retribution
is still hanging in the air
and there's ash on our shoes
and there's ash in our hair
and there's a fine silt on every mantle
from hell's kitchen to brooklyn
and the streets are full of stories
sudden twists and near misses
and soon every open bar is crammed to the rafters
with tales of narrowly averted disasters
and the whiskey is flowin
like never before
as all over the country
folks just shake their heads
and pour
so here's a toast to all the folks who live in
palestine
afghanistan
iraq
el salvador
here's a toast to the folks living on the pine ridge
reservation
under the stone cold gaze of mt. rushmore
here's a toast to all those nurses and doctors
who daily provide women with a choice
who stand down a threat the size of oklahoma city
just to listen to a young woman's voice
here's a toast to all the folks on death row right now
awaiting the executioner's guillotine
who are shackled there with dread and can only escape
into their heads
to find peace in the form of a dream
cuz take away our playstations
and we are a third world nation
under the thumb of some blue blood royal son
who stole the oval office and that phony election
i mean
it don't take a weatherman
to look around and see the weather
jeb said he'd deliver florida, folks
and boy did he ever
and we hold these truths to be self evident:
#1 george w. bush is not president
#2 america is not a true democracy
#3 the media is not fooling me
cuz i am a poem heeding hyper-distillation
i've got no room for a lie so verbose
i'm looking out over my whole human family
and i'm raising my glass in a toast
here's to our last drink of fossil fuels
let us vow to get off of this sauce
shoo away the swarms of commuter planes
and find that train ticket we lost
cuz once upon a time the line followed the river
and peeked into all the backyards
and the laundry was waving
the graffiti was teasing us
from brick walls and bridges
we were rolling over ridges
through valleys
under stars
i dream of touring like duke ellington
in my own railroad car
i dream of waiting on the tall blonde wooden benches
in a grand station aglow with grace
and then standing out on the platform
and feeling the air on my face
give back the night its distant whistle
give the darkness back its soul
give the big oil companies the finger finally
and relearn how to rock-n-roll
yes, the lessons are all around us and a change is
waiting there
so it's time to pick through the rubble, clean the
streets
and clear the air
get our government to pull its big dick out of the sand
of someone else's desert
put it back in its pants
and quit the hypocritical chants of
freedom forever
cuz when one lone phone rang
in two thousand and one
at ten after nine
on nine one one
which is the number we all called
when that lone phone rang right off the wall
right off our desk and down the long hall
down the long stairs
in a building so tall
that the whole world turned
just to watch it fall
and while we're at it
remember the first time around?
the bomb?
the ryder truck?
the parking garage?
the princess that didn't even feel the pea?
remember joking around in our apartment on avenue D?
can you imagine how many paper coffee cups would have
to change their design
following a fantastical reversal of the new york
skyline?!
it was a joke, of course
it was a joke
at the time
and that was just a few years ago
so let the record show
that the FBI was all over that case
that the plot was obvious and in everybody's face
and scoping that scene
religiously
the CIA
or is it KGB?
committing countless crimes against humanity
with this kind of eventuality
as its excuse
for abuse after expensive abuse
and it didn't have a clue
look, another window to see through
way up here
on the 104th floor
look
another key
another door
10% literal
90% metaphor
3000 some poems disguised as people
on an almost too perfect day
should be more than pawns
in some asshole's passion play
so now it's your job
and it's my job
to make it that way
to make sure they didn't die in vain
sshhhhhh....
baby listen
He was a handsome musician
But he had an ugly scar
You could not see it on him
But you could hear it when he played guitar
Naked and nervous silence
Therefore conversation to abuse
Stood between us like a parent
Like a game we had to lose
He kept an eye on the door
And his back to the wall
His walk told of the time it takes for a man to fall
And I welcomed him into my closet
To meet the skeletons living there
In my twilight vacancy
I didn't care
We knew each other namelessly
As the rhythm came of age
He knew me like a blue note
And the lights went down on stage
He was a handsome musician
But he had an ugly scar
You could not see it on him
But you could hear it when he played guitar
I welcomed him into my closet
To meet the skeletons living there
In my twilight vacancy
I didn't care
He was a handsome musician
But he had an ugly scar
You could not see it on him
You start trippin
And i start slippin away
I was taught to zip it
If i got nothin nice to say
And down in the texas of my heart
Driving a really big truck
Headed down a dirt road
My love is scrunchin up its features
The really big eyes
Big lips, big nose
Just show me a moment that is mine
Its beauty blinding and unsurpassed
Make me forget every moment that went by
And left me so half-hearted
Cuz i felt it so half-assed
You are an unruly translucent
A dirty windshield with a shifting view
So many cunning running landscapes
For my dented door to open into
I just wanna tune out all the billboards
Weld myself a mental shield
I just wanna put down all the pressures
And feel how i really feel
Just show me a moment that is mine
Its beauty blinding and unsurpassed
Make me forget every moment that went by
And left me so half-hearted
Cuz i felt it so half-assed
Spring is super in the supermarkets
And the strawberries prance and glow
Nevermind that they're all kinda tart and tasteless
As strawberries go
Meanwhile wild things are not for sale
Anymore than they are for show
So i'll be outside, in love with the kind of beauty
It takes more than eyes to know
Just show me a moment that is mine
Its beauty blinding and unsurpassed
And i'll forget every moment that went by
And left me so half-hearted
i heard the sound of your bike,
as your wheels hit the gravel,
then your engine in the driveway
cutting off
and i pushed through the screen door
and i stood out on the porch
thinking figh, fight, fight
at all costs,
but instead i let you in,
just like i've always done
and i sat you down and offered you a beer
and across the kitchen table
i fired several rounds,
but you were still sitting here
when the smoke cleared.
and you came crawling back
to say that you wanna
make good in the end
and oh, oh,
let me count the ways
that i abhore you,
and you were never a good lay
and you were never a good friend
but, oh, oh, what else can i say...
i adore you
all i need is my leather,
one t-shirt and two socks,
i'll keep my hands warm
in your pockets
and we can use the engine block,
and we'll ride out to california
with my arms around your chest,
and i'll pretend that this is real
'cuz this is what i like best,
and you've been juggling two women
like a stupid circus clown
telling us both we are the one
and maybe you can keep me from ever being happy,
but you're not gonna stop me from having fun.
so let's go before i change my mind
i'll leave the luggage of all your lives behind
'cuz i am bigger than everything that came before
and you were never very kind,
and you let me way down every time
but oh, oh, oh what can i say...
i adore you
i heard the sound of your bike,
as your wheels hit the gravel,
then your engine in the driveway
I love my country
By which I mean
I am indebted joyfully
To all the people throughout its history
Who have fought the government to make right
Where so many cunning sons and daughters
Our foremothers and forefathers
Came singing through slaughter
Came through hell and high water
So that we could stand here
And behold breathlessly the sight
How a raging river of tears
Cut a grand canyon of light
Yes, I've bin so many places
Flown through vast empty spaces
With stewardesses whose hands
Look much older than their faces
I've tossed so many napkins
Into that big hole in the sky
Bin at the bottom of the Atlantic
Seething in a two-ply
Looking up through all that water
And the fishes swimming by
And I don't always feel lucky
But I'm smart enough to try
Cuz humility has buoyancy
And above us only sky
So I lean in
Breathe deeper that brutal burning smell
That surrounds the smoldering wreckage
That I've come to love so well
Yes, color me stunned and dazzled
By all the red white and blue flashing lights
In the American intersection
Where black crashed head on with white
Comes a melody
Comes a rhythm
A particular resonance
That is us and only us
Comes a screaming ambulance
A hand that you can trust
Laid steady on your chest
Working for the better good
(Which is good at its best)
And too, bearing witness
Like a woman bears a child...
With all her might
Born of the greatest pain
Into a grand canyon of light
I mean, no song has gone unsung here
And this joint is strung crazy tight
And people bin raising up their voices
Since it just ain't bin right
With all the righteous rage
And all the bitter spite
That will accompany us out
Of this long night
That will grab us by the hand
When we are ready to take flight
Seatback and traytable
In the upright and locked position
Shocked to tears by each new vision
Of all that my ancestors have done
Like, say, the women who gave their lives
So that I could have one
People, we are standing at ground zero
Of the feminist revolution
Yeah, it was an inside job
Stoic and sly
One we're supposed to forget
And downplay and deny
But I think the time is nothing
If not nigh
To let the truth out
Coolest f-word ever deserves a fucking shout!
I mean
Why can't all decent men and women
Call themselves feminists?
Out of respect
For those who fought for this
I mean, look around
We have this
I love my country
By which I mean
I am indebted joyfully
To all the people throughout its history
Who have fought the government to make right
Where so many cunning sons and daughters
Our foremothers and forefathers
Came singing through slaughter
Came through hell and high water
So that we could stand here
And behold breathlessly the sight
How a raging river of tears
A throat with a heart in it stuck in traffic
A ticket and a mind to fly, an alarm clock still drunk and high
Sanity painted her mask on all the way across town
A compact frown projected on a retina upside down
You're an avalanche of detour signs falling off a truck
Swooning like a boxer that is too dizzy to duck
Your decisions turn around and make you back and then you're stuck
And then good luck, good luck, good luck, good luck
A lock with a key in it that ain't turning
Smoke filling up behind a door, a fire with the purpose of being ignored
A body slipping into disease, quietly making that choice
While the joy drains out of a voice
You're an avalanche of detour signs falling off a truck
Swooning like a boxer that is too dizzy to duck
Your decisions turn around and make you back and then you're stuck
some crazy fucker carved a sculpture out of butter
and propped it up in the middle of the bonanza breakfast bar
and i am stuffing toast and sausage into my pockets
under a sign that says grand opening
while my dog is waiting in the car
i wake up, i check out
i fill the tank and wash the windshield clean
then i'm back out on the highway
and BANG that's when i remember my dream:
we were standing in a garden
and i had a machine that made silence
it just sucked up the whole opinionated din
and there were no people on the payroll
and there were no monkeys on our backs
and i said, show me what you look like
without skin
science chases money
and money chases its tail
and the best minds of my generation
can't make bail
but the bacteria are coming to take us down
that's my prediction
it's the answer to this culture
of the quick fix prescription
but in the garden of simple
where all of us are nameless
you were never anything but beautiful to me
and, you know, they never really owned you
you just carried them around
and then one day you put 'em down
and found your hands were free
so now it's early in the morning
at the longitude of memphis
and the sun is setting sweetly on hong kong
and the big plan is just to keep spinning
cuz the big bang is only just beginning
and sometimes it's all that we can do just to hang on
and what i meant to say is xxoo which means i'm thinking of ya
which means i've been thinking of you
life in the circus ain't easy
but the folks on the outside don't know
the tent goes up and the tent comes down
and all that they see is the show
and the ladies on the horses look so pretty
and the lions are lookin real mad
and some of the clowns are happy
and some of the clowns are sad
but underneath
there's another expression
that the makeup isn't making
life under the big top
it's about freedom
it's about faking
there's an art to the laughter
there's a science
and there's a lot of love
and compliance
welcoem to the freakshow
here we go...
we live to hear the slack-jawed gasping
we live under a halo of held breath
and when the children raise up a giant shield
of laughter, it's like they're fending off death
and we can make somethig bigger
then anyone of us alone
and then the clowns will take off their makeup
and the people will go home
but life on the outside ain't easy
no sequins, no elephants,
no parading around
yeah, the tent goes up
and the tent comes down
and they're stuck in this fucking town
you need a lot of love and compliance
welcome to the freakshow
she's looking in the mirror
she's fixing her hair
and I touch my head to feel
what isn't there
she's humming a melody
we learned in grade school
she's so happy
and I think
this is not cool
'cause I know the guy
she's been talking about
I have met him before
and I think
what is this beautiful beautiful woman
settling for?
she bends her breath
when she talks to him
I can see her features begin to blur
as she pours herself
into the mold he made for her
and for everything he does
she has a way to rationalize
she says he don't mean what he do
she tells me he called
to apologize
he says he loves her
he says he's changing
and he can keep her warm
and so she sits there like america
suffering through slow reform
but she'll never get back the time
and the years sneak by
one by one
she is still playing the martyr
I am still praying for revloution
and she still doesn't have what she deserves
but she wakes up smiling every day
she never really expected more
that's just not the way we are raised
and I say to her,
you know,
there's plenty of really great men out there
but she doesn't hear me
she's looking in the mirror
Emancipated minor
Well directed, brilliantly casted
Riding a Greyhound down to the city
With her fake I.D. and a hell of a little hand basket
Little game of seesaw, then he came to claim her
And then a sordid line formed behind him
Reproductive system newly activated
She participated in nature's plan, she participated
And I can't say I envy her, I don't think I miss it
Wrought iron cobwebbing over thin windowpanes
The city seducing you on tiptoe to kiss it
Don't think twice, just roll the dice, roll the dice
So she attended the dance classes and she learned the little dance
And she tried the high heels but she couldn't bring herself to prance
All the while a faint ticking in the silence between the songs
Just south of her gut two tiny time bombs
And love comes in many forms and for each she would yearn
Hungry as a student, hunger to learn
Every flavor of person, every species of intent
With the body pulsing at the center detent
But all the good graffiti got painted over in time
She watched the last faceless chain replace the last five and dime
And she wondered if the only noble thing
Ain't to just to get a big garden and plant it in the spring
Kiss the city goodbye in some big graceful gesture
And focus on the moon's groove, groove with the moon
Focus on the moon's groove and groove with the moon
Focus on the moon's groove, groove with the moon
And I can't say I envy her, I don't think I miss it
Wrought iron cobwebbing over thin windowpanes
The city seducing you on tiptoe to kiss it
Don't think twice, just roll the dice, roll the dice
I saw on the poster
my name was printed
just a little bit smaller
I can tell you need to stand
just a little bit taller
no one ever talks about it
but no one can disguise
the cloud of competition
that's hanging behind their eyes
there's more bad blood
in this bar than there is beer
and it's subtle but it still sucks
and I want out of here
we got egos like hairdos
they're different every day
depending on how we slept the night before
depending on the demons that are at our door
they told me you wanted to play last
every profession has its system of castes
so they reverse the order we go on
and then you stand at the bar
and you talk through my songs
we've got egos like hairdos
they're different every day
depending on how we slept the night before
depending on the demons that are at our door
everybody loves the underdog
but no one wants to be him
the press will fatten you up
and then they'll dig their teeth in
it's cool to discover someone
it's hard to support them
everyone is playing life
like it's some stupid sport
we got egos like hairdos
they're different every day
depending on how we slept the night before
depending on the demons that are at our door
I got my kitchen stocked
I got my door unlocked
there're no demons here
and I don't really care
whose name is printed in bigger type
you know I live in a world full of hope
not a world full of hype
I ain't no saint
I help myself to what I need
but I help other people too
Lots of folks back East, they say
Is leavin' home every day
Beatin' the hot old dusty way
To the California line
'Cross the desert sands they roll
Gettin' out of that old dust bowl
They think they're goin' to a sugar bowl
But here's what they find
Now, the police at the port of entry say
"You're number fourteen thousand for today"
Oh, if you ain't got the do re mi, folks
You ain't got the do re mi
Why you better go back to beautiful Texas
Oklahoma, Kansas, Georgia, Tennessee
California is a garden of Eden
A paradise to live in or see
But believe it or not you won't find it so hot
If you ain't got the do re mi
You want to buy you a home or a farm
That can't deal nobody harm
Or take your vacation
By the mountains or sea
Don't swap your old cow for a car
You better stay right where you are
Better take this little tip from me
'Cause I look through the want ads every day
But the headlines on the papers always say
If you ain't got the do re mi, boys
You ain't got the do re mi
Why, you better go back to beautiful Texas
Oklahoma, Kansas, Georgia, Tennessee
California is a garden of Eden
A paradise to live in or see
But believe it or not you won't find it so hot
I hated to pop the bubble
Of me and you
But it only held enough oxygen
For a trip or two
To the moon and back again
Tell me, do you remember when
Our love had such grace
We were floating above this whole place
It's dawn on the corner
Where the city tests its squeaky breaks
Outside my bedroom window
A doppler muffler and a boomin bass
It's dawn and the snow
Is turning on its deepest blue
So I go outside just to stand there and
Look at my hands against the color
I find I always return to
I want you to always remember for me
Baby, if you can
How much you hated the woman
Who made you a man
And remember for me won't you
Back further before that
How you loved her like a boy
Cried from the joy
When you weren't laughing
No, I hated to pop the bubble
Of me and you
But it only held enough oxygen
For a trip or two
To the moon and back again
Do you remember when
Our love had such grace
We were floating above this whole place
So I hear these days you too
Are trying your hand at sleeplessness
A few more dizzying doppler lovers
And then a booming loneliness
How innocent the young student
On the day school has begun
When I said this was what I wanted
Did you think I thought it would be fun?
No, I hated to pop the bubble
Of me and you
But it only held enough oxygen
For a trip or two
To the moon and back again
Oh but I remember when
Our love had such grace
life used to be life-like
now it's more like showbiz
i wake up in the night
and i don't know where the bathroom is
and i don't know what town i'm in
or what sky i am under
and i wake up in the darkness and i
don't have the will anymore to wonder
everyone has a skeleton
and a closet to keep it in
and your mine
every song has a you
a you that the singer sings to
and you're it this time
baby, you're it this time
when i need to wipe my face
i use the back of my hand
and i like to take up space
just because i can
and i use my dress
to wipe up my drink
i care less and less
what people think
and you are so lame
you always dissapoint me
it's kind of like our running joke
but it's really not funny
and i just want you to live up to
the image of you i create
i see you and i'm so unsatisfied
i see you and i dialate
so i'll walk the plank
and i'll jump with a smile
if i'm gonna go down
i'm gonna do it with style
and you won't see me surrender
you won't hear me confess
'cuz you've left me with nothing
but i've worked with less
and i learn every room long enough
to make it to the door
and then i hear it click shut behind me
and every key works differently
i forget everytime
and forgetting defines me
that's what defines me
when i say you sucked my brain out
the english translation
is i am in love with you
and it is no fun
but i don't use words like love
'cuz works like that don't matter
but don't look so offended
you know, you should be flattered
and i wake up in the night
in some big hotel bed
and my hands grope for the light
and my hands grope for my head
the world is my oyster
the road is my home
and i know that i'm better
fourteenth street and the garbage swirls like a cyclone
three o'clock in the afternoon and I am going home
F train is full of high school students
so much shouting
so much laughter
last night's underwear in my back pocket
sure sign of the morning after
take me home
take me home and leave me there
think I'm going to cry, I don't know why
think I'm going to sing myself a lullaby
feel free to listen
feel free to stare
I live in New York New York the city that never shuts up
in the daylight everything is so gory
you can hear snatches of stranger's sorry stories
and I moved there from buffalo but that's nothing
the TRICO plant moved to mexico
left my uncle standing out in the cold
said there's your last paycheck have fun growing old
take me home
take me home and leave me there
think I'm going to cry, I don't know why
think I'm going to sing myself a lullaby
feel free to listen
feel free to stare
rockabye baby
in the treetop
when the wind blows
cradle will rock
when the bough breaks
the cradle will fall
down will come baby
cradle and all
youth is beauty
money is beauty
hell, beauty is beauty sometimes
it's the luck of the draw
it's the natural law
it's a joke
it's a crime
I was bored
you were bored
it was a meeting of the minds
now it's three in the afternoon and I can't leave too soon
saying thank you, I had a nice time
take me home
take me home and leave me there
think I'm going to cry, I don't know why
think I'm going to sing myself a lullaby
feel free to listen
feel free to stare
maybe I'll live my whole life
just getting by
maybe I'll be discovered
maybe I'll be colonized
you could try to train me like a pet
you could try to teach me to behave
But I'll tell you, if I haven't learned it yet
you know,
I ain't gonna sit, I ain't gonna stay
take me home
take me home and leave me there
think I'm going to cry, I don't know why
think I'm going to sing myself a lullaby
feel free to listen
our father who art in a penthouse
sits in his 37th floor suite
and swivels to gaze down
at the city he made me in
he allows me to stand and
sollicit graffiti until
he needs the land I stand on
I in my darkened threshold
am pawing through my pockets
the receipts, the bus schedules
the matchbook phone numbers
the urgent napkin poems
all of which laundering has rendered
pulpy and strange
loose change and a key
ask me
go ahead, ask me if I care
I got the answer here
I wrote it down somewhere
I just gotta find it
I just gotta find it
somebody and their spraypaint got too close
somebody came on too heavy
now look at me made ugly
by the drooling letters
I was better off alone
ain't that the way it is
they don't know the first thing
but you don't know that
until they take the first swing
my fingers are red and swollen from the cold
I'm getting bold in my old age
so go ahead, try the door
it doesn't matter anymore
I know the weakhearted are strongwilled
and we are being kept alive
until we're killed
he's up there the ice
is clinking in his glass
I don't ask
I just empty my pockets and wait
it's not fate
it's just circumstance
I don't fool myself with romance
I just live
phone number to phone number
dusting them against my thighs
in the warmth of my pockets
which whisper history incessantly
asking me
where were you
I lower my eyes
wishing I could cry more
and care less,
yes it's true,
I was trying to love someone again,
I was caught caring,
bearing weight
but I love this city, this state
this country is too large
and whoever's in charge up there
had better take the elevator down
and put more than change in our cup
or else we
are coming
You are listening to the phone ring
Like a church bell sounding out the hour.
And the ringing cuts the silence
Like a knife leaving little pieces left of your life.
You are watching the night shadows grow tall s
Swallowing you in terror like the foot on the wall.
Shake me down to the soil of a dream.
Take me whole and take me clean.
Take me from this reality cold and mean.
Cold and mean.
I can't answer I can't speak to anyone
Not until I witness the next rising of the sun.
It's this darkness it's like a lead weight in my shoe.
I couldn't rise to answer even if I wanted to.
Shake me down to the soil of a dream.
Take me whole and take me clean.
Take me from this reality cold and mean.
Shake me down to the soil of a dream.
Take me whole and take me clean.
Take me from this reality cold and mean.
Shake me down to the soil of a dream.
Take me whole and take me clean.
Take me from this reality cold and mean.
Amber called her uncle, said "We're up here for the
holiday,
Jane and I were having Solstice, now we need a place to
stay."
And her Christ-loving uncle watched his wife hang Mary
on the tree,
He watched his son hang candy canes all made with red
dye number three.
He told his niece, "It's Christmas Eve, I know our life
is not your style,"
She said, "Christmas is like Solstice, and we miss you
and it's been awhile,"
So the Christians and the Pagans sat together at the
table,
Finding faith and common ground the best that they were
able,
And just before the meal was served, hands were held
and prayers were said,
Sending hope for peace on earth to all their gods and
goddesses.
The food was great, the tree plugged in, the meal had
gone without a hitch,
Till Timmy turned to Amber and said, "Is it true that
you're a witch?"
His mom jumped up and said, "The pies are burning," and
she hit the kitchen,
And it was Jane who spoke, she said, "It's true, your
cousin's not a Christian,"
"But we love trees, we love the snow, the friends we
have, the world we share,
And you find magic from your God, and we find magic
everywhere."
So the Christians and the Pagans sat together at the
table,
Finding faith and common ground the best that they were
able,
And where does magic come from? I think magic's in the
learning,
'Cause now when Christians sit with Pagans only pumpkin
pies are burning.
When Amber tried to do the dishes, her aunt said,
"Really, no, don't bother."
Amber's uncle saw how Amber looked like Tim and like
her father.
He thought about his brother, how they hadn't spoken in
a year,
He thought he'd call him up and say, "It's Christmas
and your daughter's here."
He thought of fathers, sons and brothers, saw his own
son tug his sleeve, saying,
"Can I be a Pagan?" Dad said, "We'll discuss it when
they leave."
So the Christians and the Pagans sat together at the
table,
Finding faith and common ground the best that they were
able,
Lighting trees in darkness, learning new ways from the
old, and
Making sense of history and drawing warmth out of the
Back, back, back in the back of your mind
Are you learning an angry language?
Tell me boy, boy, boy are you tending to your joy
Or are you just letting it vanquish?
Back, back, back in the dark of your mind
Where the eyes of your demons are gleaming
Are you mad, mad, mad about the life you never had
Even when you are dreaming
Who are these old, old, old people in these nursing homes
Scowling away at nothing like big rag dolls
Just cursing at the walls and pulling out all of their stuffing
Every day is a door leading back to the core
Yes, old age will distill you
And if you're this, this, this full of bitterness now
Some day it will just fill you
When you sit right down in the middle of yourself
You're gonna wanna have a comfortable chair
So renovate your soul before you get too old
'Cuz you're gonna be housebound there
When you're old, you fold up like an envelope
And you mail yourself right inside
And there's nowhere to go except out real slow
Are you ready boy for that ride?
Your arrogance is gaining on you and so is eternity
You better practice happiness, you better practice humility
You took the air, you took the time
You were fed and you were free
Now you'd better put some beauty back
While you got the energy
You'd better put some beauty back, boy
I wanna know
what you think about your future
Can you tell me what you think,
what you think about your life?
I wanna know
what you think of me, your friends
I wanna know
how you come to be alive
Saw you
take it all
Looking greater
some way 'round
You went there, took it all
And all time now
take the fall
I wanna know
how you feel when you wake up
I wanna know
how you feel when you sleep
I wanna know
what you dream into this world
Where you gonna go
What are you gonna achieve?
When you say
"Want to get"
All your friends say
"Well he's so high"
I'm gonna kick you off your cloud
Want to know
If you want to see the shit
or see my soul
Wants to get between yourself
and I know your reasons
You could always be an astronaut
Well you could be an astronaut
Well you see this world as it had been made
Nowhere I'm too safe now
Where you sing you do it all
You're looking greater when you go
I wanna know
How you feel in this life
I wanna see
How you look when you gonna meet my wife
You could do it better with vibe
You could do it better when you run
When you're losing all your friends
Because you're just fucking stoned
Why would you take it all?
Why would you never take the fall
Who do you think you are
so fucking cool
I think you're nothing more
than a fool
So sad I'd like to make you dare to say
Once to go
But you're already way to drunk and sad
I won't be dared to close your soul
And this water looks like anything
Well this water looks like everything
Down to decide there is not too far to say
Down to the side there is not too far to say
I wanna know
I wanna go to you
I wanna know
I wanna go to you
I wanna know
I wanna go to you
You said once or twice
You said I'm going to try this once or twice
You said I'm never gonna be, be addicted
Well you never said you were gonna be so dickhead
Wants to get it on herself
Somewhere I will find it
Well you could be an astronaut
Well you can be an astronaut
Well you're cool enough to be my friend
Well you're cool enough to be my friend
Just don't get to
I don't get to I
I wanna know
I wanna go to you
I wanna know
I wanna go to you
I wanna know
I wanna go to you
I wanna know
I wanna know
I wanna go to you
I wanna know
I wanna go
I wanna know
you can't hide
behind social graces
so don't try
to be all touchy feely
cuz you lie
in my face of all places
but i've got no
problem with that really
what bugs me
is that you believe what you're saying
what bothers me
is that you don't know how you feel
what scares me
is that while you're telling me stories
you actually
believe that they are real
and i've got
no illusions about you
and guess what?
i never did
and when i said
when i said i'll take it
i meant,
i meant as is
just give up
and admit you're an asshole
you would be
in some good company
i think you'd find
that you friends would forgive you
or maybe i
am just speaking for me
cuz when i look around
i think this, this is good enough
and i try to laugh
at whatever life brings
cuz when i look down
i just miss all the good stuff
when i look up
i just trip over things
and i've got
no illusions about you...
you can't hide
behind social graces
cuz i don't buy it
like everyone else
and you can lie
in my face of all places
just don't
lie to yourself
cuz i've got
no illusions about you
and guess what?
i never did
and when i say
when i say i'll take it
i mean,
i mean as is...
you are subtle as a window pane
standing in my view
but I will wait for it to rain
so that I can see you
you call me up at night
when there's no light passing through
and you think that I don't understand
but I do
we don't say everything that we could
so that we can say later
oh, you misunderstood
I hold my cards up
close to my chest
I say what I have to
and I hold back the rest
'cause someone you don't know
is someone you don't know
get a firm grip, girl
before you let go
for every hand extended
another lies in wait
keep your eye on that one
anticipate
dress down get out there
pick a fight with the police
we will get it all on film
for the new release
seems like everyone's an actor
or they're an actor's best friend
I wonder what was wrong to begin with
that they should all have to pretend
we lost sight of everything
when we have to keep checking our backs
I think we should all just smile
come clean
and relax
if there's anything I've learned
all these years on my own
it's how to find my own way there
I will not stand immersed
In this ultra violent curse
I won't let you make a tool of me
I will keep my mind and body free
Bye, bye, minutiae
Of the day to day drama
I'm expanding exponentially
I am consciousness without identity
I am many things made of everything
But I will not be your bank roll
I won't idle in your drive through
I won't watch your electric sideshow
I got way better places to go
I will maintain the truth
I knew naturally as a child
I won't forfeit my creativity
To a world that's all laid out for me
I will look at everything around me
And I will vow to bear in mind
That all of this was just someone's idea
It could just as well be mine
I won't rent you my time
I won't sell you my brain
I won't pray to a male God
'Cause you know that would be insane
And you know that I can't support the troops
'Cause every last one of them is being duped here
And I will not rest a wink
Until the women have regrouped
I am many things made of everything
But I will not be your bank roll
I won't idle in your drive through
I won't watch your electric sideshow
Everywhere she looks
She looks through the corner of her eye
Everytime she left
She never turned to say goodbye
Swaying in the corner of the ballroom
Alone by the music
She looked like a spiderweb
Fresh from the war
He complements her bedroom decor
She crawled in there like water
She drowned in there on the floor
She left him gasping for air
And crying for more.
And the morning sun was embarrassed to find them
Lying together
Neither could remember the other's name
He stepped out of her mind
And into the hall
And they never saw each other again.
Whoaa...
And someone gave her a manual of love in the world today
And that page is not pulpy because there is no proper way
It's so easy for those with the unclenching eye
To find some unfulfilled human being to fry
She is looking for the kisses that she never got at home
Her lips are puckered and she is walking alone
And if she ends up with some dirty hot disease
It's a small price she pays for the need to be pleased.
And there are too few who open both eyes
We sit back in our easy chairs and try to sympathize
But whether from the point of a needle
Or the edge of her bed
Our heroine like too many others now is dead
And lisa is lucky, she ended up with a baby boy
She's 16 years old, doesn't know her body's not a toy
Joel is hungry, he is doing the town
Andrea is on the rebound.
Walk to the corner and run from what you find
We have to abort our cannibalistic state of mind.
Everywhere she looked
She looked through the corner of her eye
And everytime she left she never turned to say goodbye
Swaying in the corner of the ballroom
Alone by the music
She looked like a spiderweb.
Fresh from the war
He complements her bedroom decor
She didn't know this time she was the victim
I will not lie down
On the wrongful groundwork laid
While it's still a radical sound
Just to call a spade a spade
Dear friends, women and men
Please check my math once more
In the totality of all war's history
There's but one common denominator
The answer is in the intention
That lies behind the question
Put that on your standardized multiple choice
I mean, how's this supposed to look to me
But half of divinity
Out there trying to make harmony
With only one voice
You know I've got experience
Looking right past the obvious
So I know what is so big and so close
Is always the hardest stuff
For us to reckon with
The hardest stuff to know
Dear friends, especially the women,
Tell me are you up to the task?
Of turning the wheel on human history
At long last
The answer is in the intention
That lies behind the question
Put that on your standardized multiple choice
I mean, how's this supposed to look to me
But half of divinity
Out there trying to make harmony
With only one voice
I will not lie down
On the wrongful ground or play
While it's still a radical sound
Just call a spade a spade
Dear friends, women and men
What better time to face
That we've been looking for
The answer to war
when the joy had left your body
and you were locked in to your own thoughts
you used to love to sit by the water
and watch it lapping on the rocks
and every time you put your feet in
you'd cry out and you would pray
but it's all downhill from here baby
so naturally, i can't stay
first you'll roll your eyes to heaven
say you never had love so divine
but it will go from
more than ever
to not enough
in no time
you will push and
you will push until
you push me away
i hear you cry out for your water
and i know you'll curse it someday
i guess for me
there's been a few
who've walked up smiling
and drawn a line
between so far
and from now on
yes a big glowing
line in time
and i've been disappointed
i've been heartbroken
yes i too have
loved from afar
but we are 78% water
![Hadestown - Anaïs Mitchell [full album]](http://web.archive.org./web/20130124194411im_/http://i.ytimg.com/vi/hFn5ZBDB2qM/default.jpg "Hadestown - Anaïs Mitchell [full album]")
