Henry

The Ballad of Henry Pym - HD - Boffo Yux Dudes

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• published: 10 Aug 2010
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Boffo Yux Dudes song entry for Round one of the first 'SpinTunes' contest. It ended up being a shadow entry due to electrical issues. Links - download the song for free at http://boffoyuxdudes.bandcamp.com/album/spintunes-contest-songs A Heap o' Thanks to Bully, the Little Stuffed Bull over at http://bullyscomics.blogspot.com/ For lots of scans and Hank Pym history tips. Henry Pym is one of the original 'Avengers' - a scientist that invented a gas that could shrink himself to 'ant' size, yet retain super strength. Hank also invented a cybernetic helmet to talk and befrend ants to help him in his crime fighting. We picked Hank Pym to sing about, since he has such a rich history. Scientist, superhero, mental patient, cradle-robber, schizophrenic, drug addict, and father figure to robots who wish to enslave the earth. What's not to love? We could have gone on all day, but limited the song history to the first few years as an Avenger. Lemme tell you the story of a tiny man Fightin' crime the best he can Good old Hank Pym was a scientist Doin' research and checkin' stuff off his list He cooked up a powerful new gas And when the smoke and noise had passed He woke up shrunken on the floor He knew he was now something more He was the Ant-man, he's the incredible Ant-man He shrinks to microscopic size Can't fight much crime, Lord knows he tries He's not strong like the Hulk or Superman But he's got lots of tiny friends The ants upon whom he depends Built a helmet to communicate With his six-legged pals so he won't be late In kickin' butt and fighting crime All powered by his Pym Enzyme Some Egghead tried to take him down But Henry took out that dumb clown Then he met a girl who stung his heart She crawled under his skin from the start He is the Giant-man, he's the extraordinary Giant-man He grows to such amazing heights But still looks goofy in his tights He's not cool like Dr. Strange or Iron Man Sometimes when he cannot hack it He'll turn into a YellowJacket Ant-man and the Wasp, they're quite a team But Henry lacked a certain self-esteem He tried to grow, to steal the show A Goliath among men, you know But when he had a larger figure It wasn't just his head that got bigger His ego grew to mammoth size And we all know that's none too wise He's Giant Man - Overcompensating Giant Man He grows to Megolithic size Crackin' the bad guys with his thighs. He's not funny like Howard the Duck or Forbush Man His brain is losin' all compunction Right from wrong just will not function Built a robot who was really bad Just so he could be a Dad His Avenger Pals are all so cross because his moral compass' lost He's dicked around for 40 years And cause his pals nothing but tears Just hang it up --it's been too long You've even got a lousy theme song He is the Ant Man - He's The Pathetic Ant Man Hey, pal, you should just get a life What superhero beats his wife? He's not psychotic like Elektra or Wolverine But he's still got his tiny friends The ants upon whom he depends Ant Man - He's just Pathetic Ant Man