Dyskolos (Greek: Δύσκολος, pronounced [dýskolos], translated as The Grouch, The Misanthrope, The Curmudgeon, The Bad-tempered Man or Old Cantankerous) is an Ancient Greek comedy by Menander, the only one of his plays, and of the whole New Comedy, that has survived in almost complete form. It was first presented at the Lenaian festival in 317–16 BC, where it won Menander the first-place prize. It was long known only through fragmentary quotations; but a papyrus manuscript of the nearly complete Dyskolos, dating to the 3rd century, was recovered in Egypt in 1952 and forms part of the Bodmer Papyri.
The play is set in motion by the mischievous Pan, who speaks the prologue and whose personality dominates the play. Pan makes young Sostratos fall in love with a peasant girl he has glimpsed. Sostratos sends his servant to see the girl's father. This ends in violence, as the father is Knemon, a misanthropic farmer who becomes enraged at anyone who ventures onto his land or tries to converse with him. His wife and stepson have left him; only his daughter (who has no name) and an old servant woman live with him.
You try it with me
You had me in stitches
And you wrapped me around your
Little fingers
Tease me and I please you
Teach me and I beat you
We're drawn together
Flesh and heart
Even death won't do us apart
It's sickness alone
Two skulls one soul
Less than nothing
Two skulls one soul
It's sickness alone
Two skulls one soul
Less than nothing
Two skulls one soul
Well this is us on our own
I wish I had your elegance
And you taste in sin
I wish I had your arrogance
Your sarcasm from within
Tease me and I please you
Teach me and I beat you
Two skulls one soul
It's sickness alone
Two skulls one soul
Less than nothing
Two skulls one soul
Try it with me
You had me in stitches
And you wrapped me around your
Little fingers
You told me no no amends
It's just way out of sight again.