Should I Stay In A Negative Realtionship with My Children's Father?

• published: 10 Nov 2014
• views: 46

Consultations with Lenon: http://lenonhonor.com/consultations/ Premium videos: http://lenonhonor.com/premium-content-package/ Purchase our books: http://lenonhonor360.com/shop/ Question: I am in a relationship that I know in my heart I should let go. I have been broken in this relationship. I have excepted and settled for cheating, lies and disrespect for years. I do love this man. I do believe he has so much good in him and potential. But, from listening to many of your insights and messages I on youtube, I have realized that there definitely is trauma from our past in both if our lives which has contributed to the painful aspects in our relationship. I am hurt, broken and confused. Though I talk to God always and I have faith that the victory is in my hands through him, I just needed to talk to someone in the form of the human flesh. I have three children with this man. I am financial retarded right now. I guess I am afraid of what people will think. I am also concerned about being able to begin a new relationship with three kids. I want to believe there is a man strong and humble enough that will except me with my three kids. All this accompanied with a multitude of other negatives and not to mention, I believe I love this man. Even that I question. I do not want to spend another 9 years like this. I always had hope that I can work things out with the father of my children instead of starting another relationship with someone who is not the father of my children. I keep waiting and waiting and waiting. Always heart broken and not satisfied and feeling lonely. PLEASE HELP ME. Answer: There are many women who struggle with the issue of being in a negative relationship and feel like they do not have options because they have children. I can relate to this because this was my mother’s experience with my father. One of the reasons why my mother stayed with my father was because she wanted her children to have a father in their lives. My mother was also verbally and physically abused by my father and had fears about leaving. Many women struggle with this issue and there is always the fear that once the woman leaves the negative relationship she will not be able to find a man who would be willing to love her and love her children. Many women are in negative relationships and are waiting on their man to change. They wait for extended periods of time with the belief that their man will change. When children are involved a woman may be more inclined to stay. Whether a woman has children or not it is important for women to dream bigger when it comes to male/female relationships. Men must also dream bigger as it relates to male/female relationships. You must raise the standard as to what you perceive to be possible in regards to male/female relationships. Why would a woman settle for cheating, lies, and disrespect? All relationships are based upon the value that you place on yourself. If you have a high level of self-value then you would not settle for negative relationships. If you self-value is low then you will settle for negative relationships. Many women do not value themselves like they should. Many women do not believe that they are deserving of a positive relationship. It is not whether or not we are deserving of a positive relationship. The issue is whether or not we are prepared. When we are not prepared for a positive relationship we may enter into a relationship and struggle. Women also struggle with the issue of what others may think. They may worry about what others may say about them. Love is not a question. Love is an action. As soon as you start questioning love you are no experiencing it. Emotions do not solve problems. Thinking does. All relationships are based upon the value that you place on yourself. When a man cheats on his wife he also cheats on his children. Those of us who have experienced true love know that love does not hurt. If you are in a relationship and you are being hurt in your relationship understand that you are not experiencing a loving relationship. Some people have such a low level of self-worth that they will accept hurt in place of love and call it “love” to legitimize the hurt. The believer believes the knower knows. Which one knows the truth? We should not make decisions about our own happiness based upon what we think other people might think about us. Tags: Relationship advice, Sacred Womb, How to overcome low self esteem, self love, ebony magazine video, positive relationships, Single Mothers and dating, how to find a man, domestic violence, Lenon Honor, cheating in relationships, Djehuty Maat Ra, How to be a man, how to, how to date, men and sex, manhood training, Doctah B Sirius, Urban Kryptonite, Ayida Honor, Sister Circle, Black women, Baby mama drama, Dr Phil Valentine, Why do women settle, Ayida Honor, Trust in relationships, think like a man, Tyrese Gibson