Australian Comedian in the Melbourne Comedy Gala Festival 2006, discussing accents. Some of those who are interested in the script or find it hard to understand, out of the kindness of my heart (well mainly out of procrastination and lack of motivation with my life), I've got the transcript typed up below. Freely point out if some of the words are wrong. I am aware that as Australians we do have the most annoying accent on the planet. I am sure you are aware of, for we all do. If you're aware we all go up at the end of every sentence, cause we're all too insecure to actually make a statement. So we have to make it sound like it's a question. Cause we secretly need your approval. Even when it's something serious. "Suzzy got eaten by a shark." I'm afraid there going to be high court judgers in 30 years time handing out verdicts going "I found you guilty of murder." And you know what we do here in Australia? I didn't realize 'till we went overseas. We ask questions that don't need answering. "How nice was the weather today?" I didn't know we did that until I got to England. I was with a group of English people "Oh, how heavy is that rain?" They just looked at me.. "Really heavy?" I think Jesus might've been an Australian. I think Jesus might've been a Aussie and we've just been reading his scriptures with the wrong inflection. Maybe Jesus walked out in the Sermon of the Mount and just went "Ohh, how blessed are the meek?" And of course the irony of it all is that we're ...

• published: 02 Jan 2008
• views: 1740152
• author: chocchipfox