Velveeta is the brand name of a processed cheese product having a taste that is identified as a type of American cheese, but with a softer and smoother texture than cheese. As a result, when melted/heated, Velveeta maintains a fully integrated, and evenly clump-free liquid texture—the opposite of what results when cheese is melted or cooked at high heat. It was invented in 1918 by Emil Frey of the Monroe Cheese Company in Monroe, New York. In 1923, The Velveeta Cheese Company was incorporated as a separate company, and was sold to Kraft Foods in 1927. The product was advertised at the time as a nutritious health food. According to Kraft's website, in the 1930s, Velveeta became the first cheese product to gain the American Medical Association's seal of approval. It was reformulated in 1953 as a cheese spread. Velveeta is labeled in the United States as a "Pasteurized Recipe Cheese Product" (see processed cheese). The name "Velveeta" is intended to connote a velvety smooth edible product. Smoothness and melting ability are promoted as its properties that result by reincorporating the whey with the curd. The brand has also been successfully spun off into a varied, Velveeta-based product line.
Sugar-coated girlfriends don't mean anything to me
This song's about a girl who's soft and warm and cheap
when I held her close to me she melted right away
Velveeta was her name
Velveeta, Velveeta, Velveeta...
All my friends keep telling me
"Frank, you must be sick.
How can you have fun with a gooey processed chick?"
But she's much more than that
she's got a heart of gold
and she does what she's told
Velveeta, Velveeta, Velveeta...
I want to tell her that I'll never go away
but she keeps showing me her expiration date
Girls may come, girls may go, but I know one thing for sure
they stock Velveeta at the local grocery store
and she'll be on the shelf until the end of time
when we have to say goodbye
Velveeta, Velveeta, Velveeta...