Tweets
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@whitneyarner La, la, la, Lord of the Rings. -
@whitneyarner It's Lord of the Rings, not fucking Eraserhead. -
@whitneyarner Only eight and a half more hours of this, right? -
The walkway to my apartment smells a bit like sulfur. What I'm trying to say is Nightcrawler and me are about to become best pals.
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My hatred of making dogs wear clothes is in an on-going battle with my love of seeing dogs dressed as Star Wars characters.
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I bet Fresh Direct never thought he'd be successful again after the end of his early 90s rap career.
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According to this Wikipedia page, David Duke played the third brother on the fifth season of the Dukes of Hazzard. Can anyone confirm?
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@Tim_Stevens The second half of the second series is just them writing the first series of Peep Show in real time. -
How did anyone have time to eat Yogurt before Go-gurt was invented?
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Got a book deal based on the year I spent making blogs to get a book deal. Like the the world record I got for most world record attempts.
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"The gloves were off. Now it was No-Glove Lewis' time to shine." - The opener of my forthcoming boxing novel, The Ballad of No-Gloves.
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@daveshumka Your Boners for Tots charity initiative, on the other hand, has been a raging success. -
2Soon is a pretty good name for a boy band duo that only sings about recent tragedies.
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Sorry, I can't be at work tomorrow. Just found out that my dead girlfriend is actually made up.
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I hope no Gawker sites ever find out about the Canadian girlfriend I made up at summer camp.
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@TonyaHallRadio@JeffCutler Thanks guys! Fun times. -
@scharpling 95 percent sure cats can't be photographed. -
Just spelled Massachusetts right on my first try. Does that mean I can finally go to school there?
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Just found out that Brody is a real name.
Brian Heater
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