(Heaton/Rotheray)
It was the middle of winter
And I drove us in my car
The snow started falling
So we stopped off at a bar
The beer started flowing
And your mother and I took the floor
But by the last dance we were tired
So I booked a room next door
So if anyone asks you
If you come from Heaven above
You're from a one star hotel
With a five star passionate love
It was a hot summers day
And we drove there in our car
And your father was thirsty
So we had to find a bar
Well he couldn't stop drinking
And he couldn't stand on his feet
We had to walk to a hotel
And book ourselves into a suite
So if the teacher asks you
Are you from Heaven or are you from Hell
You're from a one star drunken screw
In a one star motel
Yes if the teacher asks you
Are you from Heaven or are you from Hell
You're from a pitch black toilet
In a highway Taco Bell
I'll remember the birth
For the rest of my time on this land
You're mother sweating buckets
And me holding onto her hand
Well your father was absent
He claimed he couldn't find the ward
Just tugging on mescal
Trying to eat the umbilical cord
So if anyone asks you
Do you know where you're from, say yes
You're from your mother's womb
And your father's stinking breath
And if they ask you how you got here
Tell them just what it took
Your father's stinking breath
And your mother's stinking luck
Your father and I won't tell the whole truth
Your father and I won't tell the truth
(John Farrar)
I got chills
They're multiplying
And I'm losing control
'Cause the power you're supplying
It's electrifying!
You better shape up
'Cause I need a man
And my heart is set on you
You better shape up
You better understand
To my heart I must be true
Nothing left
Nothing left for me to do
You're the one that I want
Oo-oo-oo honey
The one that I want
Oo-oo-oo honey
The one that I want
Oo-oo-oo, the one I need
Oh, yes indeed
If you're filled
With affection
You're too shy to convey
Meditate
my direction
Feel your way
Feel your way
You better shape up
'Cause I need a man
Who can keep me satisfied
You better shape up
If you're gonna prove
That my faith is justified
Are you sure
Yes I'm sure down deep inside
You're the one that I want
Oo-oo-oo honey
You're the one that I want
Oo-oo-oo honey
You're the one that I want
Oo-oo-oo honey, the one I need
Oh, yes indeed
You're the one that I want
Oo-oo-oo honey
You're the one that I want
Oo-oo-oo honey
You're the one that I want
Oo-oo-oo honey, the one I need
Oh, yes indeed
You're the one that I want
You're the one that I want
The one I need
Oh, yes indeed
(Bill Withers)
You just can't smile it away
It's much more than passion it's love
And I've heard some people say
They've seen love move mountains
You just can't laugh it away
It's too deep inside it's love
Not just some game you can play
For a laugh then go on your way
Let's sit and talk it over
And work it out I love you so
And can't we just talk it over
And see what we can do
You can't just pass it away
Like some silly fashion no it's love
And love comes eager to stay
It won't just leave you that way
You can't just pass it away
Like some silly fashion no it's love
And I've heard some people say
They've seen love move mountains no it's love
And I've heard some people say
They've seen love move mountains
How do you feel?
Now they've swapped that good old carthorse for a car?
How do you feel?
Now he's handed in his sword and taken a dart?
Are your tiny hands starting to warm?
Does your battered heart feel less torn?
Enter perfect couple, he owns all the keys
He shows her white knuckle, she shows bleeding knees
As long as he agrees
How do you feel?
Now they've swapped your concrete cell for a padded one?
How do you feel?
Now every single dream you had is gone?
Does this decay bring you to life?
Well, I think it probably might
Enter perfect couple, he owns all the keys
He shows her white knuckle, she shows bleeding knees
Enter perfect couple, he owns all the keys
The blood pours from her knees
You and your big ideas again
Tell me how do you feel?
(Heaton/Rotheray)
One day I'm loaded, next day I'm broke
Spent all my money on whisky and coke
Riding high 'till the rock hit the spoke
It's like window shopping for blinds
Spent all my money on a sunbed tan
Spoke the best that a young girl can
Ended up with a blind drunk man
It's like window shopping for blinds
It's like the heartbreak hotel,
with the heartbreak but nowhere to stay
The doors are shut on us,
the neon light fading to grey
They say I drink too much, to me, well that's just profound
How do you know you can't swim, until you have drowned?
Well there's always a drop in the bottle lady
Always a sip of the wine
The glass doesn't seem quite so empty
When window shopping for blinds
It's like gatecrashing a field, that's not true,
they've a harvest they yield
Save your tears for your evening meal,
when you're window shopping for blinds
One day you're sober, next day you're not
One day remembered, the next day forgot
Spent all my money on cocaine and pot
It's like window shopping for blinds
Covered in bruises from head to toe
No-one to speak to, and nowhere to go
A map of nowhere, and nowhere I know
It's like window shopping for blinds
It's like the heartbreak hotel,
with the heartbreak but nowhere to stay
The doors are shut on us,
the neon light fading to grey
They say I drink too much, to me, well that's just profound
How do you know you can't swim, until you have drowned?
Well there's always a drop in the bottle lady
Always a sip of the wine
The glass doesn't seem quite so empty
When window shopping for blinds
But what if my husband should come?
Well tell me what have you done?
I've cherished my vodka, I've cherished my rum
Don't mind us, we're just licking our wounds in the sun
It's like writing 'I love you' in snow
You know when you write it the message will go
I want a message my lover will find
Don't mind us, we're just window shopping for blinds
White teeth, white teeth
Talent is rugged determination
Skill is a little more dull
Genius buggers straight conversation
Makes sure that it's ass is full
So good looking people don't write no poetry
They're too busy holding their hands
You don't go to beach for depth of thought
If your brain's leaking grains of sand
'Cos white teeth are uglier than yellow teeth
False gums never make plans
Little stones hold big stories underneath
But the big stones go to the dance
The big stones go to the dance
When model puts pen to paper
Paper tends to turn to stone
'Cause original thoughts so hard to squeeze
From a face so easy to clone
So good looking people don't write no poetry
They're too busy holding their hands
You don't go to beach for depth of thought
If your brain's leaking grains of sand
'Cos white teeth are uglier than yellow teeth
False gums never make plans
Little stones hold big stories underneath
But the big stones go to the dance
The big stones go to the dance
Whilst the dedicated cancelled the dates on their latest tour
'Cause genius had played that route ten times before
Hardwork made the excuse of being too hardcore
Yes don't fire shots from double barrel if you know you're single bore
'Cos white teeth are uglier than yellow teeth
False gums never make plans
Little stones hold big stories underneath
But the big stones go to the dance
The big stones go to the dance
The big stones go to the dance
The big stones go to the dance
(The Dramatics)
Some people are made of plastic.
You know some people are made of wood.
Some people have hearts of stone.
You know some people are up to no good.
But baby I'm for real, I'm as real as real can get.
If what you're lookin' for is real love then
What you see is what you get.
What you see (what you see)
Is what you get now (is what you get)
x2
Honey what you see is what you get,
and if you've found the real thing it's the best thing yet.
Some people are made of lies.
Breed them to shame your name.
But baby I have good intentions.
But baby I'm for real, I'm as real as real can get.
If what you're lookin' for is real love then
What you see is what you get.
What you see (what you see)
Is what you get now (is what you get)
x2
Honey what you see is what you get,
and if you've found the real thing it's the best thing yet.
But baby I'm for real, I'm as real as real can get.
If what you're lookin' for is real love then
What you see is what you get.
What you see (what you see)
Is what you get now (is what you get)
x2
Honey what you see is what you get,
and if you've found the real thing it's the best thing yet.
(Heaton/Rotheray)Revolutions come and go but we'll just have to wait
The time is nigh to sit and plot exactly who you hate
Sirens in the neighbourhood
The gun must be misunderstood
A warden in a pool of blood
The palace laugh and so they should
Across the world in every coup a thousand guns without a clue
If only all the people knew, they've got their sight set up on you
Every war is always cursed
With ";just who do you shoot at first?";
Think real hard and think Sandhurst
Take an officer he's the worst
Governments will rise and fall but royalty's still there
Don't worry if it's Queen or Duke try scything down the pair
And if you class the palace staff as devil's advocator
Just put them in an incubator and we'll deal with them later
Just a little bit later
We'll deal with you later
Just put them in an incubator and we'll deal with them later
Just throw them to the alligators and we'll deal with them later
So be wary of the liquidator
Cos we'll deal with you later
Just put them in a liquidator
And we'll deal with you later
We'll deal with you later.
(Willie Nelson)
VERSE 1
Valentine.
Won't you be my valentine.
And introduce your heart to mine
And be my valentine.
VERSE 2
Summertime.
We could run and play like summertime
With storybooks and nursery rhymes.
So be my valentine.
BRIDGE
Candy heart.
If anyone could, you could have a candy heart.
You're the sweetest of all sweethearts.
Won't you give your heart to me.
Can't you see
VERSE 3
I love you valentine.
Won't you be my valentine.
And won't you share your space with mine.
And be my valentine.
INSTRUMENTAL VERSES x2
BRIDGE
VERSE 4
I love you valentine.
Won't you be my valentine
And introduce your heart to mine.
And be my valentine.
Valentine
Valentine
And be my valentine
(Heaton/Rotheray)
She'd brought along the oranges
He'd brought the tea
They'd both brought along a sick-bag just in case
The plate of chicken sandwiches
Were lovely they agreed
And I watched him spit the bits into her face
'Do you love me like you used to' he sighs
'I love you twice as much' she replies
They were on the train to Venice, where else?
I think tonight I fancy myself
I'd rather drink that toast to my own health
I think tonight I'd rather love myself
And if you drink that drink to your own health
I think tonight I'd rather love myself
Later in the evening
The sun came rolling down
And they talked about their fantasies and fears
Between the heavy breathing
And those lighter licking sounds
I heard him whisper this question in her ear
'Would you still love me if I lost my legs?'
'I'd see that you were loved and you were fed'
'I end up in a car crash almost dead'
'For richer and for partly severed head'
I'd rather drink that toast to my own health
I think tonight I'd rather love myself
And if you drink that drink to your own health
I think tonight I'd rather love myself
The neighbours ask them out but they flatly refuse
'We're saving up for a world-wide cruise'
With a choice between loneliness and love-sick QE2's
Well tonight I choose - self-abuse
A four-pack in the fridge
A good book on the shelf
I think tonight I'd rather love myself
(Ben E King)
Let's not fight it anymore
Unpack the bags and close the door
I'll never leave you, no no
Though you lied right from the start
I can't convince my stupid heart
Not to believe you, no no
You've got two good men strung out
And there's not the slightest doubt
That other men have loved you before
But you work your thing so well
I dream of Heaven and I live in Hell
Till I can't take it anymore
Take it anymore
If I had one ounce of pride
I'd stand up or step aside
But girl love you (can't you tell it)
So I'll accept the crumbs you drop
'Cause I'm a fool and I can't stop
Or rise above you, no no
Let him speak up for himself
I speak for me and no one else
'Cause I'm a beggar knockin' on your door
But you work your thing so well
I dream of Heaven and I live in Hell
Till I can't take it anymore
Take it anymore
I'm too far gone to turn around
To lift myself up off the ground
And start all over, over and over
Now he or I must win or lose
No matter which one you may choose
You'll be in clover (you know you will)
While you're makin' up your mind
I'll be prayin all the time
Prayin' that you'll never, never ever let me go
But you work your thing so well
I dream of Heaven and live in Hell
Till I can't take it anymore
Take it anymore
But you work your thing so well
I dream of Heaven and live in Hell
Till I can't take it anymore
Take it anymore
Till I can't take it anymore
Take it anymore
(Heaton/Rotheray)
This table has four sturdy legs
And a heart of very near wild oak
When others would have screamed out loud my friend
This one never even spoke
I've been sat upon, I've been spat upon
I've been treated like a bed
Been carried like a stretcher,
when someone thinks they're dead
I've been dined upon, I've been wined upon
I've been taken for a fool
Taken for a desk,
when they should have been at school
This table's been pushed against the door
When tempers, well tempers flare at night
Banged upon with knuckles clenched my friend
When someone thinks that they are right
I've been sat upon, I've been spat upon
I've been treated like a bed
Been carried like a stretcher,
when someone thinks they're dead
I've been dined upon, I've been wined upon
I've been taken for a fool
Taken for a desk,
when they should have been at school
Tables only turn when tables learn
Put me on a bonfire, watch me burn
Treat me with some dignity, don't treat me like a slave
Or I'll turn into the coffin in your grave
I've been sat upon, I've been spat upon
I've been treated like a bed
Been carried like a stretcher,
when someone thinks they're dead
I've been dined upon, I've been wined upon
I've been taken for a fool
Taken for a desk,
when they should have been at school
Tables only turn when tables learn
Put me on a bonfire, watch me burn
Treat me with some dignity, don't treat me like a slave
Or I'll turn into the coffin in your grave
(Heaton/Rotheray)
Ginger Elvis Presley looked a fraction sad
Roaming the whole town from bin to bin
Well living on the streets wasn't all that bad
Where no-one seemed to know that he was King
The sound of New York City
isn't police sirens wailing
It's the sound of Wall Street tills
whilst everyone is failing
Sometimes you feel expensive
sometimes you feels so cheap
You can roam the streets a King
whilst everyone's asleep
You can mime to any record
with a hairbrush or a spoon
But God help the singer out of tune
A crippled Mohammad Ali
looked at bad luck in the mirror
Bad luck looked back at him and sighed
He looked a good foot smaller
and a couple of stone thinner
And if anyone came toward him
he would hide
The sound of North America
isn't Christians quietly praying
It's the sound of shuffling feet
that don't know where they're going
Sometimes you feel expensive
sometimes you feels so cheap
You can roam the streets a King
whilst everyone's asleep
You can fight with anybody
with a glimmer of a chance
But God help the boxer with no hands
A homeless Greta Garbo
moves across the street
The moonlight shining clearly
through her skirt
A real life living legend
that no-one wants to meet
And that's when being Garbo
really hurts
The lyrics of "New York"
may have Frank Sinatra singing
But the rhythm and the melody
were dead black men swinging
Sometimes you feel expensive
sometimes you feels so cheap
You can roam the streets a Queen
whilst everyone's asleep
You can act with anybody
from the cradle to the crypt
But God help the actress
who doesn't know the script
Love takes time we all agree
and time's not the easiest to cheat
The water changes one degree
When will the shiver
of this river
turn to sea
The river does no good, no harm
Tempts us like pirates to its calm
Lover's shanty, devil's psalm
Goddamn this river
and its shiver
and its charm
If you've got love's A to Z
Don't go dredging river bed
Use your fins and use your head
This river's hooked the floating dead
Our lives go bounding down the strewn
When will we realise minnow dreams
The frustration eating you and me
Our only wish
to be the fish
that meets the sea
We cannot tell a he or she
But us fish can tell a we
We know the seed we know the tree
When will my conker
conquer thee
The cheaper woman and myself
We've both got ladders in our tights
When you've been left on the top shelf
You've got those ladders in your sights
(Heaton/Rotheray)
Yes, I saw it!
(Heaton/Rotheray)
Sadness has filled a lonely place
Before that there was just a hole
At least now there's sadness on my face
My lower lip has finally found it's role
So the wind and the rain and the snow
Had no particular place to go
So they thought they'd come and spend some time with me
They're better friends than you could ever be
Chorus:
There's a tattoo, a small tattoo
Waiting there unpaid for you
And if you ever bump into Unlucky
Don't forget who broke your heart in two
You better get there early, there's a million in the queue
Just waiting for the name on their tattoo
Emptiness has filled a vacant heart
Finally found a place for it to hide
And as I wander like a fool from bar to bar
Empty has become my greatest guide
And the tears and the pain and the despise
Looked at me through bankrupt eyes
They had nowhere else that they could land
So I invited them to take my bloody hand
Chorus:
So queuing for a tattoo and I can't decide the name
I've been wondering night after night
When they put that needle in me I'll scream your name in pain
And I hope he spells 'you bastard' right
B-A-S-T-A-R-D, stick that needle deep in me
(Stylistics)
If I could I'd like to be, a great big movie star
Overnight sensation, drive a big expensive car
I would buy you everything your little heart desire
These things I do, 'cause I'm stone in love with you
If I were a business man, I'd sit behind a desk
I'd be so successful, I would scare Wall Street to death
I would hold a meeting for the press to let them know
I did it all, 'cause I'm stone in love with you
I'm just a man, an average man
Doing everything the best I can
But if I could, I'd give the world to you
I'd like to someday be the owner of the first house on the moon
There would be no neighbors, and no population boom
You might say that all I do is dream my life away
I guess it's true, 'cause I'm stone in love with you
I guess it's true, 'cause I'm stone in love with you
I guess it's true, 'cause I'm stone in love with you
Speak to me, speak to me
Speak to me, speak to me
Tell me all about the way you feel, speak to me, speak to me
Tell me all the things I want to know
Tell me all the places that you go
Tell me all the nothings in your life
Mix them with the something's in your life
Speak to me
My name is Joy * I am 30 and I was born on the 13.2.60
I work as an accountant and my dream job would be to be
A pilot. This morning for breakfast I had half a grapefruit.
My favorite part of myself is my face. My least favorite
Part of myself is sometimes when alone perhaps late at night
I like to read a dirty book and watch Prisoner Cell Block H.
My favorite animal ............*
(Heaton/Rotheray)
I should've kept my eyes shut
But I had to go and peep
But when you saw what I saw
Well, it's hard just to roll back to sleep
I would've kept my eyes shut
But I thought I heard you scream
And I've a penchant for violence
You don't seem to find in a dream
The scene a little clearer
My father with a rope
And in the cage, centre-stage
It's mother who's destined to choke
And she choke and we choke
On the words that we wish we'd not spoke
Just when you felt you had someone to trust
Out comes the man with the dagger and cloak
I should've read the novels
Believed every word
But the stories they wrote
Were so different to ones that I'd heard
I should've kept my eyes shut
My mouth should've closed
But the mixture of vomit and blood
Just crept up through my nose
It became a little clearer
As soon as I awoke
My father stands with rope in hand
A screaming mother kneels in hope
And she hope and we hope
That me words that she said won't provoke
A smile is removed and a petal is crushed
What once was a laugh has turned into a joke
You should've kept your mouth shut
(Heaton/Rotheray)
And the women tug their hair
Like they're trying to prove it won't fall out
And all the men are gargoyles
Dipped long in Irish stout
The whole place is pickled
The people are pickles for sure
And no-one knows if they've done more here
Than they ever would do in a jar
This could be Rotterdam or anywhere
Liverpool or Rome
'Cause Rotterdam is anywhere
Anywhere alone
Anywhere alone
And everyone is blonde
And everyone is beautiful
and when blondes and beautiful are multiple
they become so dull and dutiful
And when faced with dull and dutiful
They fire red warning flares
Battle-Khaki personality
With red underwear
This could be Rotterdam or anywhere
Liverpool or Rome
'Cause Rotterdam is anywhere
Anywhere alone
Anywhere alone
The whole place is pickled
The people are pickles for sure
And no-one knows if they've done more here
Than they ever would do in a jar
This could be Rotterdam or anywhere
Liverpool or Rome
'Cause Rotterdam is anywhere
Anywhere alone
This could be Rotterdam or anywhere
Liverpool or Rome
'Cause Rotterdam is anywhere
Anywhere alone
(Rufus Wainwright)
Where is my master, the Rebel Prince,
Who will shut all these windows?
It's these windows all around me,
It's these windows who are telling me
To rid my dirty mind of all of its preciousness.
Where is my master, the Rebel Prince?
They're breaking everything trying to get to me
In this two-bed hotel,
Just to me before this window sill
Does it rid my dirty mind of all of its preciousness.
Oh I can see him now
Though it's so far away,
Amongst the roving crowd
Going the other way
Confounded anger burning with love for me.
Ou est mon matre le Prince Rebelle,
Qui va fermer toutes ces fentres ?
Ce sont ces fentres autour de moi,
Ce sont ces fentres qui m'appellent,
Qui m'appellent.
Marigold, marigold, marigold
I'm leaving the Roosevelt Hotel
Marigold, marigold, marigold
I'm leaving the room we knew so well.
Da da da da da da da da...
Marigold, marigold, marigold
Marigold, marigold, marigold
Marigold, marigold, marigold
Marigold, marigold, marigold
You're kind of pretty you can cover in make-up
Cover in perfume too
Moonlight, mud fight, any kinda sunlight
Still comes shining through
Stuff it with cakes, see if it breaks
Put it in the oven, see how she bakes
Your kind of pretty you can gas mark 11
But you can't ever overdo
Your kinda pretty, don't need advertising
Your kinda pretty comes with own billboard
Newly-weds nearly-deads
Anyone with bed-stead
Your kinda pretty
You're all they can't afford
Cover your eyes, see if it dies
Move to the city, start dating guys
You're kind of pretty you can try to deny
But eventually you'll thank the lord
You're kind of pretty don't need an umbrella
It knows what weather can do
Sandstorm, rainstorm, anything a cloud's warn
Can't hide the prettiest view
Cover with paints, see if it stains
Take it to a window, press up against
Your kinda pretty you can drag through a hedge
But no-one would believe you'd been through
Your kinda pretty, don't need advertising
Your kinda pretty comes with own billboard
Newly-weds nearly-deads
Anyone with bed-stead
Your kinda pretty
You're all they can't afford
Cover your eyes, see if it dies
Move to the city, start dating guys
You're kind of pretty you can try to deny
But eventually you'll thank the lord
(Heaton/Rotheray)
'I fought hard in the Second World War'
You hear them shout
No good bragging about the Afrika Korps
It was Beadle's About
They dressed you up and took you off to World War One
Armed you and surrounded you with wire
Sat in stinking mud you sung your stupid songs
And waited till they told you when to fire
Cause the rulers always laugh
At a video bloodbath
Nothing makes them laugh
Like a video bloodbath
From the First World War to the Yom-Kippur
It was Beadle's About
The bayonets slice, the rockets roar
And he jumps out
Fond memories of the bloody bridge you failed to hold
Many of your buddies killed or maimed
You would've shot at rabbits if that's what you'd been told
Till the General said 'I'm sorry you've been framed'
Cause the rulers always laugh
At a video bloodbath
And nothing gets a laugh
Like a video bloodbath
Chorus:
Keep those entries coming
Leave those cameras running
Keep those entrails coming
Leave those soldiers gunning
Because you're sure to get a laugh
With a video bloodbath
Nothing gets a laugh
Like a video bloodbath
Here's a wacky video we got last week
A bomb catches Arthur unawares
He's lost both his arms and he can't see or speak
But thank you for the memory you shared
Cause the rulers always laugh
At a video bloodbath
And nothing gets a laugh
Like a video bloodbath
Chorus
(Heaton/Rotheray)
Here comes Pockets
His trousers hold a thousand deadly sins
The maddest things we ever found in bins
He clutches them and looks at you and grins
Here comes Pockets
The children wary of what they may contain
The linen may have changed, the contents same
A trouser-treasure island with no name
And socially at the platform that the timetable forgot
Picking up used tickets in a station of have-nots
When you're on that train of thought
You pass some pretty funky stops
When you're on that train of thought
You pass some pretty funky stops
That's the Pocket, let him be
That's the Pocket, let him be
Here comes Pockets
Picking up the things we cannot see
A bicycle, a dame, a Christmas tree
Things of no value to you or me
Here comes Pockets
Reduced through history to just a crawl
History turns the tall into the small
But natural born trawlers love to trawl
And the guitar of his dreams hangs upon some wall
Or laying underneath the staircase in a hall
We can carry dreams but we can't hold them all
That's why we learn the Blues before we actually fall
That's the Pocket, let him be
That's the Pocket, let him be
And he's clinging on to hope
Like the oak tree to the gale
'Cause finding one love letter in a sky high jumble sale
Is one single reason, why the Pocket will not fail
(Heaton/Rotheray)
She's a perfect 10, but she wears a 12
Baby keep a little 2 for me
She could be sweet 16, bustin' out at the seams
It's still love in the first degree
When he's at my gate, with a big fat 8
You wanna see the smile on my face
And even at my door, with a poor poor 4
There ain't no man can replace
'Cause we love our love,
in different sizes
I love her body, especially the lies
Time takes it's toll, but not on the eyes
Promise me this, take me tonight
If he's extra large well I'm in charge
I can work this thing on top
If he's XXL well what the hell
Every penny don't fit the slot
The anorexic chicks, the model 6
They don't hold no weight with me
Well 8 or 9, well that's just fine
But I like to hold something I can see
'Cause we love our love,
in different sizes
I love her body, especially the lies
Time takes it's toll, but not on the eyes
Promise me this, take me tonight
I've bought a watch, to time your beauty
But I've had to fit a second hand
I've bought a calendar, and every month
Is taken up by lover man
'Cause we love our love,
in different sizes
I love her body, especially the lies
Time takes it's toll, but not on the eyes
Promise me this, take me tonight
'Cause we love our love, in different sizes
I love her body, especially the lies
Time takes it's toll, but not on the eyes
Promise me this, take me tonight
(Heaton/Rotheray)
Here he comes - Mother's Pride
With the first ever satchel she bought him swinging by his side
Here he comes Mother's Pride
With a headful of 'get your laces tied' and 'woe betide'
With a year's supply of sandwiches and fairy cakes
That she provides for him to eat at dinner breaks
It's no surprise at all, at ad the friends he makes
His stomach aches
he's Mother's Pride
He's presentable, well looked after
He's domestically disastrous
He's adorable - Mother's Pride
Here he comes - Father's Pride
With a head filled up with devil dogs and genocide
Here he comes - Father's Pride
He's showing all the kids his tickets for ringside
He'll always roam the yard looking for a fight
He'll pick on all the kids who're twice his height
He's the reason dinner ladies toss and turn at night
Teacher's Blight - Father's Pride
He's the image of his Dad
Mickey Mouse meets Jack the Lad
He's never sad - Father's Pride
Here he comes Mother's Pride
Here he comes Father's Pride
Here he comes Mother's Pride
Father's Pride
His Mother's Pride
(Heaton/Rotheray)
Like the toupee on a fading fame
The final whistle in a losing game
Thick lipstick on a five year old girl
It makes you think it's a plastic world
A plastic world and we're all plastic too
Just a couple of different faces in a dead man's queue
The world is turning Disney and there's nothing you can do
You're trying to walk like giants
but you're wearing Pluto's shoes
And the answers fall easier from the barrel of a gun
Than it does from the lips of the beautiful and the dumb
The world won't end in darkness, it'll end in family fun
With Coca Cola clouds behind a Big Mac sun
A howling scream in a church asleep
Rusty bicycle in an ocean deep
Like an ear-ring on the newly born
Strong perfume on a winter's morn
The world is perfumed and we're perfumed as well
Petals from a flower that blossomed in hell
And you can't breathe the air through the thickness of the smell
And you can't see the hair through the grease of the gel
And the answers fall easier from the barrel of a gun
Than it does from the lips of the beautiful and the dumb
The world won't end in darkness, it'll end in family fun
With Coca Cola clouds behind a Big Mac sun
You say there's only one God, you could do with two or three
Your Jesus Christ is hired out, like the slag of Galilee
Well if Peter is a prostitute, then what does that make me
There's only one God
There should be two or three
One God
There should be two or three
One God
There should be two or three
Two or three
That grand facade
Will finally diminish
When he breaks your heart
From start to finish
Sisters dream of isles in paradise
That ain't no use when the captain's just capsized
The smile that you now know was a guise
Left his clever lips and stole the prize
So women take a loser's good advice
Let your hem go floating out but use the anchor twice
Don't feel ever sorry for the dicks
Just grab the dice and hope you roll a six, a six
That grand facade
Will finally diminish
When he breaks your heart
From start to finish
Sisters dream of isles in paradise
That ain't no use when the captain's just capsized
The happiness that you now know was a guise
Left his clever lips and stole the prize
So women take a loser's good advice
Let your hem go floating out but use the anchor twice
Don't feel ever sorry for the dicks
Just grab the dice and hope you roll a six, a six
So as nature gave out semen
To the jealous and the sick
Jesus gave out candies
To the dim or partially lit
And woman you're a lighthouse
While the candle only drips
Girl you are a shining star
In masculine eclipse
In masculine eclipse
In masculine eclipse
In masculine eclipse
In masculine eclipse
(Heaton/Rotheray)
I'm losing things
That's what old-fashioned love brings
Lost the key to the house
The feeling in my mouth
I'm losing things
I'm forgetting things
That's what old-fashioned love brings
Forgot the number of the street
The shoes on your feet
I'm forgetting things
'Cause I've a limited capacity in my brain
When my brain is filled with you
Like they've impaired the ability
I had to know just what was true
And it's a real Greek Tragedy I know
But so much of me don't care
I've forgotten every name in my life
But I still remember her
Well I've lost belief
But I've found if you turn that stone,
there's love underneath
And when I had belief
I spent all my time
Cleaning the grime from my holy teeth
I'm losing things
I'm losing things
And it's a real Greek Tragedy I know
But so much of me don't care
I've forgotten every name in my life
But I still remember her
Yes, I'm losing things
Yes, yes yes I'm losing things
And it's a real Greek Tragedy I know
But so much of me don't care
I've forgotten every name in my life
But I still remember her
That's why I'm losing things
I'm losing things
{male voice}
Solitude has only existed since overspill demanded a view
Finding a space has only been around since the invention of the bustling queue
Forcing everyone to be a loner if they didn't join the regular crew
And if you weren't in the in crowd you were cast away
So dont let them cast away you
{duo voice}
Tight-knit families are tight enough for stranglehold or turn of the screw
And the only reason we wanted out was the sort of crowd that 'ordinary' drew
{male voice}
Emptiness needs rowdiness, a reminder of why it's recluse
Rowdiness needs the gap emptiness leaves to wallow in glorious youth
{duo voice}
Tight-knit families are tight enough for stranglehold or turn of the screw
And the only reason we wanted out was the sort of crowd that 'ordinary' drew
So as long as Man Friday's gone by Saturday, you're sure to find the arguments stop
You dont need time no space no room, just a story of which they're no part
Why a gentle request to be left alone feels like a kick in their heart,
Why any hug lasting more than one second always seems your cue to depart
{Female Voice}
By all means be your own person, but they choose the time and the place.
Please feel free to do your own thing, but make sure its done at their pace.
Please feel free to do your own thing, but make sure its done at their pace.
(ELO)
Sailin' away on the crest of a wave
It's like magic
Rollin' and ridin' and slippin' and slidin'
It's magic
Chorus
And you, and your sweet desire,
You took me, ooh, woah, higher and higher, baby
It's a livin' thing,
It's a terrible thing to lose,
It's a given thing
What a terrible thing to lose
Making believe this is what you conceived
From your worst day, (I'm taking a dive)
Moving in line then you look back in time
To the first day (I'm taking, I'm taking)
Repeat Chorus
Takin' a dive 'cos you can't halt the slide
Floating downstream, (I'm taking a dive)
So let her go don't start spoiling the show
It's a bad dream (I'm taking, I'm taking)
Repeat Chorus
It's a livin' thing,
It's a terrible thing to lose,
It's a terrible thing to lose
What a terrible thing to lose
(Heaton/Rotheray)
Your lying lips don't cry don't cry
Keep telling me you're forever
You're forever, you're forever
(Heaton/Rotheray)
Well sitting in a bar alone
where no-one knows your name
is like laying in a graveyard
wide awake
You're scared that if you cough or yawn
you might wake up the dead
So pretend to read a paper
or just drink instead
I'm a stand-up comedian
but I'd sit down if I could
The world just seems
to want folk like me to stand
And the punch-lines seem to disappear
like clouds across the sky
And the laughter could be real
or could be canned
Rum by the kettle drum
Whiskey by the jar
At Liar's Bar
Well living with a lying man
could never really hurt
But living with a drunk
well no-one deserves
And you're looking for your husband
you're not sure he's still alive
Don't bother with the cemetery
he'll be down at liar's dive
I'm a travelling businessman
I just stopped in for one drink
You'll find
that I'm not like the other men
Their noses are red
whilst mine is only pink
And they didn't choose their drink
their drink chose them
Rum by the kettle drum
Whiskey by the jar
At Liar's Bar
And the grave-digger's smiling
at his reflection in his spade
He's visiting the seediest
the shallowest of graves
The vocal chords of elephants
and the characters of mice
They're singing "whisky, whisky"
so good they named it twice
Well don't pass buildings with lights on
if I said that I did I'd have lied
'Cause what looks like a Chinese restaurant
may have Chinese New Year inside
And son all my life I've been searching
the bars I've been in I forget
The lights outside ever brighter
but a light on the inside not yet
Rum by the kettle drum
Whiskey by the jar
At Liar's Bar
And he's a world-wide traveller
he's not like me or you
But he comes in mighty regular
for one who's passing through
That one came in his work clothes
he's missed his last bus home
He's missed a hell of a lot of buses
for a man who wants to roam
If I look rough I am rough
If I look sad I am
If I look broke I am broke
Just a broke down piece of man
I've turned over enough leaves
to fill an autumn
and if I had one final wish
I'd be your slave for a decade
if you could take me away from this
If you took me away from this
I'd be different you'd see
'Cause I didn't choose the drink
a drink just chose me
Rum by the kettle drum
Whiskey by the jar
At Liar's Bar
Well I'm smoking like a chimney
And I'm drinking like a fish
At Liar's Bar
(Heaton/Rotheray)
Don't whisper love and dream of wedding bells
Don't do all the talking, let love speak up itself
Let love speak up itself
So when you feel a little tatty and unhappy with your face
Let it breathe into us and put you back in place
Let it breathe, let it breathe
From the day it came into us till the day it wants to leave
For it will, it will go
And it will not say goodbye just like it didn't say hello
There will not be a send-off, a funeral or mass
Just a pathetic little vodka from a dirty little glass
'To the world's greatest mum
From the oldest swinger in town'
Let love speak up itself
Let love speak up itself
Let it rise up in the morning and take us for that walk
Let it do the talking when we're too tired to talk
When we're too tired to talk
And when you feel unhappy that I'm not the one I was
Let love rot inside and let love palm you off
Let it rot, let it rot
Let it take your feelings and tie them in a knot
In a knot, in a knot
Let it take your feelings and tie them in a knot
Hang them from a cleaver and say 'Look what we've got
A man and a woman and guess what they forgot'
'To the world's greatest mum
From the oldest swinger in town'
Let love speak up itself
The superfly guy that you're courting now
Used to be a super-swot
And the clothes he thinks look retro
Are more 'Land That Time Forgot'
And if he knows where he was standing
When J.F.K was shot
Chances are though time's passed him by
He's still standing within yards of that spot
So if your hangover feels like the dart board
Whilst the Christians hit bulls-eye
And paranoia that self-employer
Is following in heavy disguise
Off goes intelligence to join high tide
To drift with all the things we let go
Only tidal wave could possibly save
All we let go with the flow
Let go with the flow
Books we may have written, we don't know
Let go with the flow
Some enchanted city we wont go
He who used to float like a butterfly once
Is floating like a glorious moth
And the flygirls you hung around with then
Are lucky if they even take off
Dresses and skirts you thought were in
Everyone a dust-rag or dishcloth
Like every flat beer that they serve around here
We all start life as fabulous froth
So why do you work yourself that hard
When you don't even like the job?
Why do you hate the small-time thief
When it's your own time you'll always rob?
Off goes intelligence to join high tide
To drift with all the things we let go
Only tidal wave could possibly save
All we let go with the flow
Let go with the flow
Books we may have written, we don't know
Let go with the flow
Some enchanted city we wont go
(Heaton/Rotheray)
I came in here, just to see his guilty face
I'm just checkin'
He's been dead twenty years but I sort of miss the chase
I'm just checkin'
I've seen folk just like her, pop their noses round the door
They're just checkin'
If this is where their husband was between 1 and 4
They're just checkin'
Nothing hits so definite, hits so hard
When he's moved from Old White Hart
and he's doing the Old Graveyard
We're running a check. On the love we had taken away
We're running a check. That death wasn't fortnight astray
Nothing hits so definite (repeat)
The mask of sobriety for afternoons he'd save
I'm just checkin'
If he could fool me regularly he'd certainly fool his grave
I'm just checkin'
I've seen those widows pray for the hunt that was taken away
They're just checkin'
They pretend they've just popped by like they popped by yesterday
They're just checkin'
I came round here in case he left a slate
No one settles up around here, like the widowed or the late
We've seen folk like you settle bills or family feuds
But no one's bought a drink for those that death excludes
We're just checkin'
We're just thinkin'
We're just sinkin'
When you called me a useless druggie
At least you got half of it right
When you called me a hopeless alcoholic
I'm only hopeless after nine at night
And when I said you came staggering home blind drunk
If I didn't you'd get terrible fright
And if this is the land of hope and glory
Where's the land of hope but not quite
I've been scruff bag, dirt bag, always someones binbag
But never been bono or sting
However I dressed never really impressed
So they never got to hear a damn thing
I've been bad man sad man certified mad
But never 007 or saint
Trendsetter go getter international jet setter
Are just a few things that I ain't
The time you told class I was a half wit
Was my very first 50 %
Previous best in any other test
Was either stolen copied or lent
And when you branded me and every single one of my mates
A waste of time and effort to teach
Why d'you give us sums if our only hope was bums
On someone else's deckchair and beach
I've been smart arse, mardy arse, on and off a lard arse
But never been a legend to god
New thing dumb thing even last year's thing
Headbang? - not even a nod!
I've been left-wing, secure-wing, lost stripes, gained winged
We've never caused a lady to faint
Wideboy, ladyboy, read it in the paper boy
A few things they said that I ain't
When popularity soared, hometown and abroad
I spent most of it trying to breathe in
Always ill at ease, too willing to please
An inferior life's bargain bin
When you come from a background of bargain bins
You're bound to fear it ends where it begins
So when nation adored we felt more of a fraud
And too phoney to celebrate wins
I've been scruffbag, dirtbag, always someones binbag
But never been Bono or Sting
However I dressed never really impressed
So they never got to hear a damn thing
I've been badman, sadman, certified mad
But never 007 or Saint
Trend-setter, go-getter, international jet-setter
Are just a few things that I ain't
It took a few packed bags and a few slammed doors
It took a false, false smile with a septic pause
From my plastic moustache to your clip-on claws
(In other words I hate you)
It took a thousand fights with a thousand draws
It took a blinkered vision for a long lost cause
As Romeo leaves to light applause
(And softly says I hate you)
My attitude leaves a lot to be desired
My fashion sense has never been quite right
But I'd rather live in drainpipes
Than with friends that I've acquired
(In so many words I hate you)
Those winter nights just spent indoors
That criminal fizz in the drink he pours
We smooch all night to "The Theme From Jaws"
(In other words I hate you)
What's yours is mine and mine is yours
A screaming for a get out clause
Here's the man with a thousand mother-in-laws
(In other words I hate you)
My looks leave a lot to be desired
My music taste has never been the trend
But me and Perry Como, well our patience has expired
In so many words I hate you
(Heaton/Rotheray)I was handed down the looks of a man with a broken nose
That's the way our family was I suppose
But at least you gave me deeply profound
As we lay and chatted late upon the cricket ground
You didn't have to love me
Where others got rid
You didn't have to treat me like a very good friend
But I'm glad that you did
One thing I never said to you
And one thing I never can
Amongst the false applause and the deafening cheers
I'm your No. 1 fan
I'm your No. 1 fan
I'm the richly blessed daughter of a mother with tattooed arms
That's the way my family life, life was charmed
But at least it gave me mental grace
And a thought at the pit of my mind and a smile on my face
You didn't have to listen
To a word that I'd said
You didn't have to tell me all those silly old jokes
For every tear that I shed
Every tear that I shed
Cos one thing I never said to you
And one thing I never can
Amongst the false applause and the deafening cheers
I'm your No. 1 fan
I'm your No. 1 fan
I was handed down a bike with a crooked old wheel
But I rode it on a million lanes the way that you made me feel
But at least we thought about it so long and hard
As we sat upon our mother in the graveyard
And you don't have to listen
To a word in this song
Your picture hangs the same and in the same old place
Even though that you've gone
Even though that you've gone
Cos one thing I never said to you
And one thing I never can
Amongst the false applause and the deafening cheers
I'm your No. 1 fan
I'm your No. 1 fan
Yes I am
I'm your No. 1 fan
(Heaton/Rotheray)
I'm walking through these pastures
I'm picking up sweet fruit
I'm shaking hands with people
That previously I'd shoot
But nothing will dissuade me
Nothing will dilute
I want to execute
I want to execute
And you tend to meet a lot of scum en route
It doesn't mean you've joined the other side
And because I still wear shorts and my smile is oh so cute
It doesn't mean I'll run away and hide
To a world where the leaders finally confess
(I think the answer's yes, I think the answer's yes)
To the burning of the Stock Exchange and bombing of the press
(I think the answer's yes, I think the answer's yes)
I think the answer's yes, yes, yes, I think the answer's yes
I'm walking through these corridors
Where crime meets pantomime
They're laughing and they're drinking
On the swill of overtime
And no-one seems to know about
The death-wish that they've signed
Ah, life's unkind
Ah, life's unkind
And they see me as a potential new recruit
They rub their hands, slap their backs and smile
But I still wear suspenders underneath my business suit
So needn't worry about me for a while
So to a world without hunger, where royalty face death
(I think the answer's yes, I think the answer's yes)
To the breaking down of barriers of North, South,
East and West
(I think the answer's yes, I think the answer's yes)
I think the answer's yes, yes, yes, I think the answer's yes
I think the answer's yes, yes, yes, I think the answer's yes
And no-one seems to know about
The death-wish that they've signed
Ah, life's unkind
Ah, life's unkind
Life's unkind, life's unkind
From poor old U2 to poor old Simple Minds
No amnesty for murderers of poor old working class
Rope or gas, rope or gas, rope or gas
No amnesty for murderers of poor old working class
Rope or gas, rope or gas
(Heaton/Rotheray)
Tables turned over and curtains ripped
Bottles uncollected, collected here
Nothing seems to shine like these razor edges do
It's a crazy little world without you
I went to see a doctor and she said 'Yes, go ahead'
'Throw yourself into the sea'
I wrote a will for my friends
And this is how it read
'Me, me, me, me, me, me, me'
No friends, everything for me, me, me
No friends, just me, just me
Fleet Street was a very funny place
Home to the mad and the corrupt
What would you say if I told you today
I'd made this whole story up?
I made this whole story up
If you could pull yourself away from that mess
Surely if you could pack a punch then you can pack a dress
'Cause hot on the trail of self pity is wilderness
Like hot on the heels of heartbreak is happiness
It's an upward struggle just to be yourself (To be yourself)
And if I climb too far I'll end up on the shelf
When sorry's have been said and tears, tears have dried
I'm still the easy route to easy ride
If you could just have a good word with yourself
Convince yourself you're you and no-one else
Restore your confidence and your pride
A soldier don't need no-one by their side
It seems as though there's only me to blame (Me To Blame)
Pushover, must be my middle name
Just because he flushed love down the drain
Doesn't mean your little heart can't be reclaimed
If you could just have a good word with yourself
Convince yourself you're you and no-one else
Restore your confidence and your pride
A soldier don't need no-one by their side
And I know that what I've chosen's second best
And if the passport was there then I'd say yes
But departure leaves a fully feathered nest
This easy bird is easily impressed
This easy bird is easily impressed
Your little wings broken, nest destroyed
The love that he talked of, null and void
If you knew you were a plaything with which they toyed
Your little heart would now be the employed
Next time I choose to love I'll take good aim
Miss out on his sweet talk and his blame
Then when I miss the target you can't complain
It's only the sure-shot actually feels the pain
It's only the sure-shot actually feels the pain
It's only the sure-shot actually feels the pain
(Heaton/Rotheray)
She'd given everything she could give
Twenty years of kindness made her sad
Kindness never made enough to live
So she sold the very last thing that she had
As she held her hand out to him
As he drove around the block
He mouthed through the window 'just hold on'
'I've held on many years now and I haven't found a lot'
Hold on, hold on to what?
So hold on to what? Hold on to what?
Holding on is harder when it's something you've not got
I'll need a pair of stilts if I'm to ever reach the top
So hold on! Hold on to what?
Many years of service with a smile
Up shit creek and down the Rhine
Gibraltar Rock and now the Emerald Isle
He'd shined every shoe that he could shine
And as he lay in his own blood
Screaming 'I've been shot'
He heard the Major whisper 'just hold on'
'I've held on all these years now, now what medal have I got?'
Hold on, hold on to what?
So hold on to what? Hold on to what?
Holding on is harder when it's something you've not got
I'll need a pair of stilts if I'm to ever reach the top
So hold on! Hold on to what?
So hold on to what? Hold on to what?
Holding on is harder when it's something you've not got
I'll need a pair of stilts if I'm to ever reach the top
So hold on! Hold on to what?
Sixty years and he's looking his worst
Sitting in the park where she'd died
Running hands through his final hair
These are the words that he cried
To achieve the American dream
You need a trampoline
To achieve the counter effect
Get that whisky down your neck'
And hold on, hold on to what?
Chamberlain had his paper
Jesus had his cross
They held on
We held on to what?
(Heaton/Rotheray)
There's something very English about 'forever'
'Hugs and kisses' are English too
'Forever and a day' has to be American
But 'hold me close' is me and you
'Hold me close' is me and you
So pilots do it in the air
And surfers do it wave after wave
But soon they'll be looking limp and lifeless
We'll still be at it in our grave
Hold me close, underground
Hold me close, underground
I'll be there, I'll wait for you
In with the old, out with the new
'Man and wife' just doesn't suit us
'Just us two' is hardly true
I couldn't care about Mr and Mrs
But 'you and I' is me and you
'You and I' is me and you
Potholers do it with the lights off
Hikers do it long and slow
I'll still be trying to get your clothes off
When I lie 6ft below
Hold me close, underground
Hold me close, underground
I'll be there, I'll wait for you
In with the old, out with the new
I'll be there, I'll wait for you
Hold me close, underground
In with the old, out with the new
Hold me close, underground
When it's turned to overbearing
You and I will still be here
(Heaton/Rotheray)
No one wrote a song for me
Just instrumental not too long
As sure as sure could ever be
You'd only get the lyrics wrong
No solo Chet Baker ever played
lowered me slowly to my grave
The prose that Keats and Yates would save
was for King and Queen not knave
I have no poem that describes my charm
No story told that's short and sweet
I have no hymn, I have no psalm
This song I have it has no beat
Yes it has no beat
No tapping of feet
Yes it has no beat
Miles Davis played the black 'n' blues
Did he play for me to lose?
Cause just when round midnight falls
That tune's not his it's Kenny Ball's
Now on that graveyard on that grave
On that tombstone in the shade
No poem written, no accolade
No "We loved you" ever sprayed
There's just this feeling from that moss
When epitaph you cannot read
he must have lived it at budget cost
So he deserves to be beneath
All that William Robinson wrote
not one of my pluses did he portray
those lyrics stuck right down my throat
I never hit
It never hit
My hit parade
(Heaton/Rotheray)
Hey church I was thinking
The Third World seems to be sinking
Can't you all get over there
And we'll have them all over here
And you can learn to catch your own food
And you can learn to build your own hut
And we'll make up the usual excuse
To keep them in the pubs till they're shut
Hey skin, I just thought
The doctrine Hitler has taught
Is still kicking off in the States
Can't you go and join with your mates
Join up with the clueless clan
Dress up in a bag and a skirt
End up looking like a jerk
Meanwhile we'll have gone mad
And the hidden jukebox plays us a song
For each and everyone
For black, white, straight and the gay
Celebrate you being away
Hey Turk I was thinking
OK so l may have been drinking
You can come drink over here
And we'll fuck them off over there
Whisky for the Greek and the Turk
Gin for the Arab and the Jew
A double arsenic for Mister Le Pen
Cause it's him who soils Europe and not you
And the hidden jukebox plays us a song
Everyone should sing along
With a message that'll ring and ring
These are the words that we sing
(Heaton/Rotheray)
Have fun
And if you can't have fun
Have someone else's fun
'Cause someone sure had mine
They came in
now they're having a whale of a time
You should grow a beard
A beard to tell a thousand stories never told before
A beard to tell you tales, whilst the fireplace roars
The closing of relationships and the opening of doors
The starting of hostilities and the ending of wars
Take care
And if you couldn't care
Take someone else's care
'Cause someone took my care
They went there and then they were not there
We should have a baby
And then I wouldn't feel quite so sad
Then I'd feel like Paul the Saint and not Jack the Lad
A baby that'll make me feel so very glad
I've had a life of booze, but that's all I've ever had
'Cause I'm the King of Misery
The Prince of the torn apart
And you're the lighthouse keeper
To the owner of a ship-wrecked heart
Take heart
And if you can't take heart
Take someone else's heart
Someone took my heart
They came in, now I'm torn apart
We should grey together
Not that pigeon-chested Trafalgar grey
The grey that greets you on that first October day
The grey of Russian front, whilst wolves bay
And the skeleton of life that love decays
'Cause you're the Queen of Sadness
The Princess of the House of Pain
And you're the final match
To the holder of this flickering flame
Have fun
I've only got one real fan
She is not woman, she is not man
She's got her own coat of arms and her tartan and her own clan
Her clan surpasses beauty
always love and never duty
A beauty that feels so alien to this land
These feelings should be censored they should be banned
But when you put a porn-star in these hands
I'm the 6 month old with the keys to his own pram
You got this straight to play the fool
Miss out nursery, miss out school
And gave the bullet train option to this old abandoned tram
How do you make so special look like dross
How do you make expensive look budget cost
If it's power to the workers then you are the boss
You make bluebells look like moss
Gave a second coat to gloss
And made Lennon's little Ono look like dross
If prostitution was not illegal
you'd make cheap sex look so regal
Make the hottest little joint in town look like frost
The famous they get stalkers, they get pests
But I'd rather get a bullet right through my chest
All that Lennon could imagine
was not you, was just a fraction
and all half-hearted get is second best
Why forbidden fruit always looks so sweet
Hanging down like devil's food, from highest branch on tree
Yes, woman should be satisfied
Be happy with her lot
But sometimes half of him
Seems better than the whole I've got
Yes, sometimes half of hell right here
Is better than a heaven forgot
Yeild not to temptation is only good advice
If true love happens just the once and never ever twice
Yes, woman should be satisfied
Be happy with her lot
But sometimes half of him
Seems better than the whole I've got
Yes, sometimes half of hell right here
Seems better than a heaven forgot
We were happy with happily ever after
But only if the plot
Had bad guys we could boo and hiss
And good guys we could not
We probably feel that second best
Could actually be much worse
But you're kind of drawn to chocolate
When you've tasted wafer first
Yes you're kind of drawn to chocolate
When you've tasted wafer first
Hunt me down like your other prey let your claws take hold
If what I've chosen's truly grey, make tiger black and gold
Yes, woman should be satisfied
Be happy with her lot
But sometimes half of him
Seems better than the whole I've got
Yes, sometimes half of hell right here
Is better than a heaven forgot
We were happy with happily ever after
But only if the plot
Had bad guys we could boo and hiss
And good guys we could not
We probably feel that second best
Could actually be much worse
But you're kinda drawn to chocolate
When you've tasted wafer first
Yes, you're kinda drawn to chocolate
When you've tasted wafer first
'I Can't Get No Satisfaction'
so sang all the guys
The biggest single breeding ground
For a girls 'I Will Survive'
We'll be happy with happily ever after
But only when the song
Admits 'Can't Get No Satisfaction'
Wasn't all our wrong
We probably feel that second best
Could actually be much worse
But you're kind of put off wafer
When you've tasted chocolate first
Yes, you're kinda put off wafer
When you've tasted chocolate first
Why forbidden fruit always looks so sweet
Well the dice that I roll
never seems to land on six
and that 48 card pack
is short of some of my old tricks
The horse I bet on all those years ago
is probably still running round the track
Like the marriage that I gambled on
I'm due my money back
We could've learned, we could've burned
from the firework love ignites
but that sparkler of romance
it proved impossible to light
If your country code or your green cross code
It can leave a lasting mark
History books have showed, follow safety code
and stamp out your final spark
Well the husband that I married once
I should've kept him in a cage
Kept him sitting waiting there
to show the tortoise middle-age
Cause you never back an animal
that struggles on two legs
I'd rather back a stray with three
then one that sits up and just begs
Milk will curdle, cheese go off
expensive wine mature
kids grow up, parents down
husbands turn to tragic bore
Receipts and life insurance all very well
but don't fully cover hate
So you can't return this idiot
When he's past his sell-by-date
(F Neil)
Everybody's talking at me
I don't hear a word they're saying
Only the echoes of my mind
People stopping staring
I can't see their faces
Only the shadows of their eyes
Chorus
I'm going where the sun keeps shining
Thru' the pouring rain
Going where the weather suits my clothes
Backing off of the North East wind
Sailing on summer breeze
And skipping over the ocean like a stone
Repeat Chorus
(Heaton/Rotheray)
It doesn't take a mathematician
To add a simple sum
Either you are simply beautiful
Or I am simply dumb
Dumb, dumb, dumb
It doesn't take Robert The Bruce
To see the web you've spun
Either you are simply beautiful
Or I am simply dumb
Dumb, dumb, dumb
It doesn't take a labrador
To show a blind man sun
Either you are simply beautiful
Or I am simply dumb
Dumb, dumb, dumb
The sun, the sky, the moon, the stars
Jupiter, Neptune and Mars
All these things I clearly see
It don't take a telescope for you to love me
Dumb, dumb, dumb
Stars shining bright above you,
Night breezes seem to whisper "I love you"
Birds singing in the sycamore tree
Dream a little dream of me
Say "nighty-night" and kiss me,
Just hold me tight and tell me you'll miss me
While I'm alone and blue as can be,
Dream a little dream of me
Stars fading, but I linger on, dear,
Still craving your kiss
I'm longing to linger til dawn, dear,
Just saying this
Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you,
Sweet dreams that leave our worries behind you
But in your dreams, whatever they be,
Dream a little dream of me
Stars fading, but I linger on, dear,
Still craving your kiss
I'm longing to linger til dawn dear,
Just saying this
Sweet dreams til sun beams find you,
Sweet dreams that leave our worries far behind you
But in your dreams, whatever they be,
Dream a little dream of me.
Sweet dreams til sun beams find you,
Sweet dreams that leave our worries far behind you;
But in your dreams, whatever they be,
Dream a little dream of me.
(Heaton/Rotheray)
Think of you with pipe and slippers
Think of her in bed
Laying there just watching telly
Then think of me instead
I'll never grow so old and flabby
That could never be
Don't marry her, fuck me
And your love light shines like cardboard
But your work shoes are glistening
She's a PhD in "I told you so"
You've a knighthood in "I'm not listening"
She'll grab your sweaty bollocks
Then slowly raise her knee
Don't marry her, fuck me
And the Sunday sun shines down on San Francisco bay
And you realise you can't make it anyway
You have to wash the car
Take the kiddies to the park
Don't marry her, fuck me
Those lovely Sunday mornings
With breakfast brought in bed
Those blackbirds look like knitting needles
Trying to peck your head
Those birds will peck your soul out
And throw away the key
Don't marry her, fuck me
And the kitchen's always tidy
And the bathroom's always clean
She's a diploma in "just hiding things"
You've a first in "low esteem"
When your socks smell of angels
But your life smells of Brie
Don't marry her, fuck me
And the Sunday sun shines down on San Francisco bay
And you realise you can't make it anyway
You have to wash the car
Take the kiddies to the park
Don't marry her, fuck me
And the Sunday sun shines down on San Francisco bay
And you realise you can't make it anyway
You have to wash the car
Take the kiddies to the park
Don't marry her, fuck me
My Guy and Patches
Can only hope to match
The evil propaganda that her pen can dispatch
And she better love him good
Or she'll take it on the chin
A woman is a woman
To the enemy within
She can put up a fight
The man will always win
And Danielle Steele
The enemy within
And even photo love
With its pages filled with sin
Couldn't lick the boots of the enemy within
It can only be a chapter
'till her heart will give in
The enemy within
Nothing is as phallic
As a moaning violin
To Danielle Steele
The enemy within
It'll all be worth it
When the cushion takes the pin
The enemy within
It'll all be worth it
When the cushion takes the pin
When the cushion takes the pin
When the cushion takes the pin
Well I kept fantasizing your eyes were wide open
and it made me long for little last night
Yes it was frantic, it was young, it was sweet
But a sweet worth every bite
Now I'm not normally one to be greedy
But I had to be greedy with you
5 days, 6 days. the whole of the month
wouldn't satisfy my only sweet tooth
Well it can take many years to forge a friendship
It can take a lifetime to get close
But we took all the shortcuts,
used our hearts as a map
and we still got closer than most
So excuse my staring but it's just your looks
are a standard well above myself
Your face might mean zip to you
But to me it's something else
All I can do is thank you
and wish that every dream you have will come true
5 years, 6 years, the whole of your life
I'll be wishing for the riches for you
You dashed pretty's only chance of a compliment
and gave the plain the blues
Turned supermodel into last year's pull
and got her down shining your shoes
And I don't mean to be hod carrier
of the ordinary folks bad news
But tell Miss World to fly to Mars
If she really doesn't like to lose
(Ramones)
They're forming in straight line
They're going through a tight wind
The kids are losing their minds
The Blitzkrieg Bop
They're piling in the back seat
They're generating steam heat
Pulsating to the back beat
The Blitzkrieg Bop
Hey ho, let's go
Shoot 'em in the back now
What they want, I don't know
They're all reved up and ready to go
They're forming in a straight line
They're going through a tight wind
The kids are losing their minds
The Blitzkrieg Bop
They're piling in the back seat
They're generating steam heat
Pulsating to the back beat
The Blitzkrieg Bop
Hey ho, let's go
Shoot 'em in the back now
What they want, I don't know
They're all reved up and ready to go
They're forming in a straight line
They're going through a tight wind
The kids are losing their minds
The Blitzkrieg Bop
They're piling in the back seat
They're generating steam heat
Pulsating to the back beat
The Blitzkrieg Bop
Hey ho, let's go
Shoot 'em in the back now
What they want, I don't know
They're all reved up and ready to go
The Blitzkrieg Bop
The Blitzkrieg Bop
The Blitzkrieg Bop
(Heaton/Rotheray)
Eyes to take you dancing
mouth to leave your wife
Legs to run away with
and you wonder why?
Heart that makes you bypass
every other girl
Smile that keeps you grinning
at the madness of this world
But like the blackbird on the wire
I will not take the prey on you
You wouldn't want me to
For I am too soft for such a thing
And like the blackbird on the wire
I just watch you by
The tears I knew I'd cry
Fall unnoticed down below
Front to make you happy
back to make you weep
Lips to keep you kissing
whilst everyone's asleep
Tears to break a backbone
laughs to win a war
And people come and ask me
what I love you for
But like the blackbird on the wire
I will not take the prey on you
You wouldn't want me to
For I am too soft for such a thing
And like the blackbird on the wire
I just watch you by
The tears I knew I'd cry
Fall unnoticed down below
And with a tongue built from quicksilver
and a character of steel
They actually come and ask me
How I feel
But like the blackbird on the wire
I will not take the prey on you
You wouldn't want me to
For I am too soft for such a thing
And like the blackbird on the wire
I just watch you by
The tears I knew I'd cry
Fall unnoticed down below
(Heaton/Rotheray)
Big coin that you toss for heads or tails
Big coin that you let slip down the drain
Big coin didn't find where it landed
Big coin, big coin
Big coin that you dropped in the river
Little raft that took you across
Little hand that pulled it from the gutter
Big coin, big coin
It's a tiny little heart that challenges the coin
But the coin has no beat or no breath
Big coin won't even leave you a love note
Big coin, big death
Big coin that you held and you treasured
Big coin that you can't believe that you lost
Little kiss that helped you when you needed
Little kiss, big coin
Little heart that has no exchange rate
Big coin that could join the IMF
Little heart is only the greedy 'cause it's poor
Little heart, big coin
It's a tiny little heart that challenges the coin
But the coin has no north or no south
Big coin says it will never ever leave you
Big coin, big mouth
Little heart,
it ain't gold, it ain't silver
Little heart,
it ain't wasted on me
Little heart,
so much bigger than the coin
Little heart,
big guarantee
Little heart,
big guarantee
Little heart...
It's a tiny little heart that challenges the coin
But the coin has no north or no south
Big coin says it will never ever leave you
Big coin, big mouth
My pod is bigger than your pod
My life is bigger than your life
My mouth is bigger than your mouth
Your age is bigger than my age
Your height, my height
Your weight, my weight
My love is bigger than your love
Your fist is bigger than mine
My son is bigger than your son
Your sun it doesn't shine, doesn't shine
Doesn't shine, doesn't shine
At all
My big is bigger than your big
My small is smaller than your small
You've heard it said a thousand times
But only heard his Broadway lines
So, baby please go
Ain't, ain't part of the show
'Cause when Romeo needs no cue or prompt
The likelier your little heart be stomped
By, by baby don't go
Written, written in to his show
'Cause in the west-end show your life
Played understudy to every part
Got given all the dullest lines
Whilst the chorus girls danced on your heart
Baby please go (Baby please go)
Baby please go (Baby please go)
The sorry tale we'd all applaud
That only dripped and never poured
But, baby just go
Let him, let him on with his show
The leading snail leaves tell tale lines
The bullshit tower the loudest chimes
But, baby please go
Ain't, ain't part of the show
'Cause in the west-end show your life
Played understudy to every part
Got given all the dullest lines
Whilst the chorus girls danced on your heart
Baby please go (Baby please go)
Baby please go (Baby please go)
Romantic love lines that we adored (Baby forget them)
They were read by men from idiot board (Baby forget them)
So a message from the wisest guy to broad
Is best like flattery ignored
Baby just let him go
Let him on with the show
Baby just let him go
Let him on with the show
(Harnick/Bock)
Alone in the world was poor little Anne
As sweet a young child as you'd find
Her parents had gone to their final reward
Leaving their baby behind
Did you hear this poor little child
was only nine years of age
When mother and dad went away
Still she bravely worked
at the one thing she knew
To earn a few pennies a day
She made artificial flowers, artificial flowers
Flowers for ladies of fashion to wear
She made artificial flowers, artificial flowers
Fashioned from Annie's despair
With papers and shears, with wire and wax
She made up each tulip and mum
As snow flakes drifted in to her tenement room
Her baby little fingers grew numb
>From artificial flowers, those artificial flowers
Flowers for ladies of high fashion to wear
She made artificial flowers, artificial flowers
Made from Annie's despair
And they found little Annie all covered with ice
Still clutching her poor frozen shears
Amidst all the blossoms, she had fashioned by hand
And watered with all her young tears
There must be a Heaven where little Annie can play
In heavenly gardens and bowers
And instead of halo, she'll wear round her head
A garland of genuine flowers
No more artificial flowers, artificial flowers
Flowers for ladies of society to wear
Those artificial flowers, artificial flowers
Fashioned from Annie's
Fashioned from Annie's despair
Planning permission tied to post
We read when we're waiting for bus
Is always double-checked 'cause we so often suspect
They plan to build something on us
What they'll build, neither here nor there
It's what they'll bury that counts
And how far down they'll push us this time
And how far back up we'll bounce
Angels are born with wings not springs
Devils always born with horns
And beautiful bird only bothers to sing
If beautiful day ever dawns
Angels and devils ain't so easy to spot
As movies like to portray
A devil appears with a cunning veneer
You often only notice too late
If he says he's got wings keep and eye out for springs
Make sure your angel is real
And of all of these things it's the song that he sings
And how the song makes you feel
Angels are born with souls not goals
Devils always search for the high
So beautiful birds sing from telegraph poles
And devil's song fills the whole sky
Yes, birdsong belongs
In the highest of places not where devil performs
Beautiful bird and song
Shouldn't bother to sing if audience mutters and yawns
Mutters and yawns€€€€
(Heaton/Rotheray)
Like the contents of your handbag
You don't know why it's there
People ask you where you're heading
You just answer "anywhere"
We don't mean to be this vague
It just happens that we are
No-one asked us to elaborate
We just shrug our shoulders and be
And like the stories that just happened
No-one thought of, no-one planned
We could have ruled, we could have conquered
Then we could have been a man
We could be ex-husband
We could be ex-wife
But no-one looks at the menu in a greasy spoon life
Alone, alone
Half an hour is seven hours
One day is several months
Alone, alone
A month is a calendar
A year can be a decade spent
Alone
He knows "hello" in eighteen languages
"I love you" in only one
By the time he's got his phrase-book
The chance is usually gone
And we feel ourselves quite prepared
But quite prepared for what
We always took the lead
Before we actually knew the plot
And you can tell where we've been shopping
By the bags beneath our eyes
Make-up shoulders burden
But the smile never lies
We could be ex-husband
We could be ex-wife
But no-one looks at the menu in a greasy spoon life
Alone, alone
Half an hour is seven hours
One day is several months
Alone, alone
A month is a calendar
A year can be a decade spent
Alone
So empty at the airport
You don't set off the doors
We used to feel like chorus girls
And now we feel like whores
Hearts built like reservoirs
Words built like dams
Thoughts built like juggernauts
Our actions built like prams
And when the wind blows into our face
We should be warmer and not colder
Well, what price the charges
On this cargo that we shoulder
We could be ex-husband
We could be ex-wife
But no-one looks at the menu in a greasy spoon life
Alone, alone
Half an hour is seven hours
One day is several months
Alone, alone
A month is a calendar
A year can be a decade spent
Alone
And we only smoke when bored
So we do two packs a day
And we've lost the difference
Between bored and lonely anyway
Guard your body with the best barbed wire
And ward off foe with the fiercest of fire
But let love unguarded into the strangest of nights
Wear your dresses like they're up for hire
And leave them with your humour in the tumble dryer
And watch yourself stumble down a lane with no lights
School like life turns some men into mice
What you need now is a little piece of mouse advice
Well they say be wary of strangers
Especially if they offer you sweets
But there ain't no government health warning
On half the mad fuckers you meet
Save yourself personal tradegy
Go back to the man with the sweets
Do yourself schooling favour
Head back to the man with the sweets
Those who feared cancer never had much to say
They bored us at parties onto forty a day
They forced us into corners and onto forty a day
The dentiist's chair is the only time
That anybody ever looks at their mouth
Let the dentist give their teeth something to chatter about
School like life turns some men into mice
To avoid the rat-trap take the mouse's advice
Well they say be wary of strangers
Especially if they offer you sweets
But there ain't no government health warning
On half the mad fuckers you meet
Save yourself personal tradegy
Go back to the man with the sweets
Do yourself schooling favour
Head back to the man with the sweets
I've seen these people described as mad
But find men kissing too odd
Say all their friends are gay when in fact
They gave a man in tight vest a quick nod
And all those threats if you keep kissing
They're gonna go report you to god
Yet if Christ really had that many disciples
There was probably one of you in his squad
And any news you receive would lead you to believe
Of the other world little is known
So that every gay presenter should really wear a sweater
With kids don't try this at home
There are gay men you've knocked homophobics clean out
When most would have turned and ran
Gay men who hate it when they get called queer
And gay men who don't give a damn
Some gay men go wearing women's makeup
Just to prove to themselves they can
And on the masculine side of this whole wide world
There is no 101% man
Those who have only seen Gay Pride
Think it's a life long license to shock
But men have kissed men since way back when
If you were caught you'd be put in a stock
And any news you receive would lead you to believe
Of the other world little is known
So that every gay presenter should really wear a sweater
With kids don't try this at home
There are gay men who've knocked homophobics clean out
When most would have turned and ran
Gay men who hate it when they get called queer
And gay men who don't give a damn
Some gay men go wearing women's makeup
Just to prove to themselves they can
And on the masculine side of this whole wide world
There's no 101% man
And when the Tom Robinson band sang
"Sing if you're glad to be gay"
We all joined in, and though most of us weren't
The song seemed to show us the way
And as the song reached it's end you looked for the friend that
That made singing along feel O.K
It aint San Francisco but your end of term disco
And the dancefloor's beginning to sway
There are gay who've knocked homophobices clean out
When most would have turned and ran
Gay men who hate it when they get called queer
And gay men who don't give a damn
Some gay men go wearing women's makeup
Just to prove to themselves they can
And on the masculine side of this whole wide world
There's no 101% man
Man
The part of love that I'm scared of
is the actual taking off
I can take a bumpy landing
But the start must be soft
soft, soft, soft
It must be soft
Some men need your attention
every minute, every hour
Some women need the proof
in every chocolate, every flower
Are you asking me down your runway?
I'm asking you to be watchtower
tower, tower, tower
to be watchtower
tower, tower, tower
Some men just like the journey
don't care if it's incomplete
Some women like a long trip
Some women short 'n' sweet
But if we lift each other up
Let's make it 10,000 feet
feet, feet, feet
10,000 feet
feet, feet, feet
The reason I'm still down here
and I've never taken off
Is I never had the courage
To rummage through love's loft
loft, loft, loft
The highest loft
loft, loft, loft
Cos when we're finally up there
and the engines have been stopped
the landing won't be fatal
if love's parachute's been dropped
dropped, dropped, dropped
love's been dropped
dropped, dropped, dropp
(Heaton/Rotheray)
They could be fat or could be thin
They could be black, they could be white
Tell me who's knocking at the knocking shop door tonight
Not much a girl can do but open or close
Those things are above doors
Not much legs can do but open or close
Those things are above us whores
So imagine a mirror
Bigger than the room it was placed in
Imagine my wish for a future that cannot hold my wish
Imagine the want to hold a rod that cannot hold the fish
Imagine a rod that cannot hold the fish
They could be lonely or could be bust
They could be tack, they could be real
They do have feelings, but just right now I feel
A feminine receptacle, that's just what I am
Those things are above us whores
Just the best target practice, for a misguided man
Those things are above us whores
So imagine a mirror
Bigger than the room it was placed in
Imagine my wish for a future that cannot hold my wish
Imagine the want to hold a rod that cannot hold the fish
Imagine a rod that cannot hold the fish
You look a younger more beautiful version of death
But I'm scared to hold you close or smell your breath
Now your body's facing east your heart is west
And you can call me leisure and I can call you rest
We can't stop thinking that we should've guessed
We should've held you closer to our chest
'Cos our shoulders were put there for that test
Now you can call me leisure and I can call you rest
Well you certainly jumped the red at treasure chest
Your joyride didn't feel bad enough to confess
Till you placed the lemming on this family crest
And you can call me leisure, the donor of poor measure
The scalpel of all pleasure, I'll call you rest
It's what we thought God gave us shoulders for
Not to shrug in self pity or to ignore
Instead the helpless ration chances to the poor
We pick your weightless body up from the floor
We pick your weightless body up from the floor
All the minutes, and the hours that you caressed
Have been taken to a place that you thought best
If it's heaven or it's hell you're still well blessed
And I shall get my own back when I can call you rest
Well you certainly jumped the red at treasure chest
Your joyride didn't feel bad enough to confess
Till you placed the lemming on this family crest
And you can call me leisure, the donor of poor measure
The scalpel of all pleasure, I'll call you rest
It's what we thought God gave us shoulders for
Not to shrug in self pity or to ignore
Instead the helpless ration chances to the poor
We pick your weightless body up from the floor
We pick your weightless body up from the floor
Up from the floor, up from the floor, up from the floor
(Heaton/Rotheray)
The sheets won't need changing everyday
The freezer supply should last a year
Those hidden little points that you're away
Nothing much has changed since you were here
Our paths will cross some day
Our paths will cross some day
While you're out jogging and I'm sat snogging
Some fool on a lakeside bench
And when she calls I hope it's you that dials
I hope it's you that feels this love inside
And when I touch her I hope it's you that smiles
And when I die I hope it's you I'm beside
To die with her would be a worthless lie
To die with her would be a worthless die
To die together would be worth a try
To die together would be worth a try
The family pack seems larger than it should
Two for one's no good when there's just one
I'd raise a bigger smile if I could
But me minus you equals none
Our paths will cross some day
Our paths will cross some day
When you're out fishing and I'm sat wishing
You instead of him
Our paths will cross some day
Our paths will cross some day
When you're out exercising and I'm there prising
The pants of I my latest sin
And when we kiss she knows it's you I kiss
'Cause when we kiss I always start to cry
You just can't cover up these lying lips
When I die I hope it's you I'm beside
To die with her would be a worthless lie
To die with her would be a worthless die
To die together would be worth a try
To die together would be worth a try
An ambulance flashed past me in the street
Just yards from where we were to meet
I was half hoping you were dead meat
That it was you that was under the sheet
And as you lay there alone in the ward
Fumbling for the keys to death's door
At least I'd have summoned up the nerve
To whisper you these words
Finally! Quietly! Actually!
I love you!
(Heaton/Rotheray)
Who's gonna tell the orange
they're actually brown
Who's gonna mop up for grey
when they've painted the town
It's the news that everyone dreads
that we're no longer painting it red
that our gag's still funny
but they've opted for a different clown
You were great in the sixties
but we're gonna have to pull you down
Nothing like the sound of the shallow
jumping in at the deep
Royalty's balloon coming down
is a memorable shriek
Nothing quite like the sickening clout
of the dive into pool drained out
You excelled as a Queen
but you'll have to return the crown
You were great in the sixties
but we're gonna have to pull you down
Who's gonna tell the tall
they're beginning to shrink
Like who's gonna tell the Swiss
They're no longer in sync
We'll have to get the maroon
in a separate counselling room
say "it may be your washer
but you seem to be fading to pink"
Yesterday's ice cool
doesn't take long to melt and sink
Who's gonna tell the cities
that are acting like towns
they're actually just a village
that the posh surrounds
The diplomatic answer
to your 25 stone dancer
is your act's still great
but we can't keep changing a pound
You were Queen in your day
but you're gonna have to give back the crown
You were great in the sixties
but we're gonna have to pull you down
This reign of plastic
That replaced the reign of gold
Couldn't have known that you
Would feel so undersold
If love was built on hindsight
Then you surely would have seen
You were joining hands
With the Tupperware Queen
Yes you gave a groan
When I took that throne
But can you choose a Queen
When you behave like a drone
Where the silverware's not expected
And certainly never been
That's the ideal kingdom
Of this Tupperware Queen
I didn't mean to fool you
Into feeling King
Of anything but plastic
And what plastic brings
If gold is what she had
It's what I could've been
The unaffordable dream
Of this Tupperware Queen
Yes you gave a groan
When I took that throne
But don't expect a gem
When you're quarrying for stone
Where the silverware's not expected
And certainty never been
That's the ideal kingdom
Of this Tupperware Queen
In future when that moan
Has turned to prone
And the slightest groan
Feels so overblown
Remember you're a drone
And the Queen however plastic
Runs the honeycomb
Runs the honeycomb
Honeycomb, honey, honey
Remember you're a drone
And the Queen however plastic
Runs the honeycomb
(The Zombies)
The warmth of your love's
Like the warmth from the sun
And this will be our year
Took a long time to come...
Don't let go of my hand
Now the darkness has gone
This will be our year
Took a long time to come...
And I won't forget
The way you helped me up when I was down
And I won't forget
The way you said "darling, I love you"
You gave me faith to go on
Now we're there
And we've only just begun
This will be our year
Took a long time to come...
The warmth of your smile
Smile for me, little one
And this will be our year
Took a long time to come...
You don't have to worry
All your worried days are gone
This will be our year
Took a long time to come...
And I won't forget
The way you helped me up when I was down
And I won't forget
The way you said "darling, I love you"
You gave me faith to go on
Now we're there
We've only just begun
This will be our year
Took a long time to come...
And this will be our year
Took a long time to come...
it was '96 in south carolina,
thats the place and not the goddam year
sittin on the porch out at bobbys place,
just tuggin on a lukewarm beer.
and there i was peepin like an old sidewinder,
just an inch or so above the mud. the first to find out that its rainin
is the last to find out its a flood.
it was paradise valley nevada,
not far from where the west was won.
i am the only black face in the whole damn place
just a raisin in the blazing sun.
and there i am like that old sidewinder,
just wishin that her eggs aint hatched.
and the chain i wear has 'em wishin for the day when it came with a ball attached.
(chorus)
so im gonna move,right outta this town.
this old skin stops weighin me down. this old skin.
(bridge)
he was sittin in the very same spot that otis sat to watch the dock of the bay...
in the very same spot,that the ships rolled in.
now there's nothing but the mud and the clay.
(ch)
im gonna move,right outta this town.
this old skin,is weighing me down.
this old skin.
(instramental)
outside orlando in the sunshine state
has just upped itself another degree.
i am the very last orange of the whole years crop.
hangin dearly to the branch of the tree.
and the wind and the spring couldn't do anything.
so im burnin in the sun of the south.
that old sidewinder in the dust below,
im just waiting till it opens its mouth.
(ch)
so im gonna move,right outta this town.
when this old skin,finally touches the ground.
this old skin....
(bridge)
he was sittin in the very same spot that otis sat to watch the dock of the bay.
the very same spot the ships rolled in.
now there's nothing but the mud and the clay.
(ch)
now im gonna move,right outta this town.
when this old skin,finally touches the ground...this old skin
this old skin
this old skin
this old skin.
(Heaton/Rotheray)
When you're too old for the swings
You tend to choose the slide
And they never seem to warn you
The slide's your final ride
And when you're at the top of it
And you cannot see the end
Either don't let go son - Or grab the nearest friend
The slide is no respecter of dignity or class
As soon as you sit down on it
That slide has got your ass
Don't take the slide, don't take the slide
Heroes and villains have tried and cried
A broken soul at the bottom lies denied
Don't take the slide, don't take the slide
When the slide was invented
A thousand drinkers sighed
They thought they had the copyright
On the very word the slide
It's a picture of innocence
On which the innocent have fried
Take the helter skelter son
It's easier than the slide
Advice to listening parents
Or the father of the bride
Let them marry anyone
But don't let her take the slide
Don't take the slide, don't take the slide
Heroes and villains have tried and cried
A broken soul at the bottom lies denied
Don't take the slide, don't take the slide
It'll take you much much lower
Than you ever would have asked
'Cause as soon as you sit down on it
The slide has got your ass - It's customers are fools
And every one of them deceased
The long and silver murderer
The devil must have greased
Don't take the slide, don't take the slide
Heroes and villains have tried and cried
A pile of broken souls at the bottom it denied
Don't take the slide, don't take the slide
Don't take the slide, don't take the slide
Heroes and villains have tried and cried
A broken soul at the bottom it denied
Don't take the slide, don't take the slide
Little seas can be big seas
To the wrong or long of sights
But the Mediterranean
Looks like aspirin tonight
The Doctor told me the chemist
He had nothing for my plights
But the Mediterranean
Looks like aspirin tonight
This ocean puts in motion
All our wildest Crusoe thoughts
Turns brain to Kontiki
When it's always been left in port
I'd rather be cemented
In deep blue building site
'Cause drugs can get you higher
But my chosen drug tonight
Is the reliable Mediterranean
Is the reliable Mediterranean
Is my chosen my chosen drug tonight
Little voyage can be big voyage
If you sail in the middle of night
But the Mediterranean
Needs the compass tonight
It gives cheap thrills to the seagulls
Life to lifes little kites
But the Mediterranean
Is my aspirin tonight
This ocean puts in motion
All our wildest Crusoe thoughts
Turns brain to Kontiki
When it's always been left in port
I'd rather be cemented
In deep blue building site
'Cause drugs can get you higher
But my chosen drug tonight
Is the reliable Mediterranean
Is the reliable Mediterranean
Is my chosen my chosen drug tonight
I'd rather be cemented
In deep blue building site
'Cause drugs can get you higher
But my chosen drug tonight
Is the reliable Mediterranean
Is the reliable Mediterranean
Is my chosen my chosen drug tonight
(Heaton/Rotheray)
If I walk like a fool, I've walked like that since school
But maybe it's the lure of the sea
Who knows the effect,
that whisky could've had on me
It could've been the lure of the sea
'Cause leather ain't as strong as the weather
But leather can strangle any dream
And leather ain't as strong as the weather
But leather took Curtis from me
Maybe it's the lure of the sea,
maybe it's the lure of the sea
Suicide's just the anarchist that kicks down modesty
But maybe it's the lure of the sea
Once I felt chained, and now, now I feel free
Maybe it's the lure of the sea
Polo and Da Gama,
well those two had nothing on me
Could be I'm a sucker for the sea
'Cause silver, ain't as quick as the tongue
But silver, took the M.L.K so young
And metal ain't as strong as the petal
But metal left the verse unsung
Maybe it's the lure of the sea,
maybe it's the lure of the sea
Suicide's just the anarchist that kicks down modesty
But maybe it's the lure of the sea
Freedom's taken a liking to me
Maybe it's the lure of the sea
Look in my eyes 'cause my belt's broke free
Maybe it's the lure of the sea
The Pirates Of Penzance,
they have nothing on me
Maybe it's the lure of the sea
Maybe it's the lure of the sea, maybe it's the lure of the sea
Suicide's just the anarchist that kicks down modesty
But maybe it's the lure of the sea
Maybe it's the lure of the sea, maybe it's the lure of the sea
Suicide's just the anarchist that kicks down modesty
But maybe it's the lure of the sea
Woman goes to heaven, it's not important when
'Cause as soon as she arrives God has to send her down again
'You've got an extra five years to clean up after men'
'I mean no disrespect God, but you better make it ten'
Well if heaven's an improvement I won't mind the extra squeeze
I've got a few more birds down there God, after losing bees
Trying to lose their bees
So don't be shocked who queue-jumps or who just calmly waits
A certain type of behaviour the guest list just creates
No time for lively discussion
No time for televised debates
The well-meaning soon become the well meant
It's the hard sell or hell at the gates
Alcoholic finds himself outside the pearly gates
I've only got one worry God, a few outstanding slates
Any tab you used to have's been passed to so called mates
And after they've paid-up they're off to the land of empty crates
Heaven is a glass, neither half empty nor half full
So do us all a favour God and give that thing a pull
Give that thing a pull
So don't be shocked who queue-jumps or who just calmly waits
A certain type of behaviour the guest list just creates
No time for lively discussion
No time for televised debates
The well-meaning soon become the well meant
It's the hard sell or hell at the gates
Model turns up hours late, he had to get it right
If you're gonna look cool in heaven wear something more than white
Vanity's close to arrogance, just slightly more polite
Fashion show a jumble sale at a slightly different height
So don't be shocked who queue-jumps or who just calmly waits
A certain type of behaviour the guest list just creates
No time for lively discussion
No time for televised debates
The well-meaning soon become the well meant
It's the hard sell or hell at the gates
I meant every word I said
But only said half the words I meant
There's a load more where they came from
I suppose will get left unsent
Like conversation started
but don't know which way it went
Lips don't miss the wish for a kiss,
And time doesn't care how its spent
And the only way a white lie shows
Is the length of the gap between truths
Imprison any feeling usually displayed
And they wave white sheets from roofs
Pushchair to pensioner no-one said it right
So it was simplifed to one great fib
Anyone else who couldn't put it into words
Just got their lips round good sex or a cig
So if you finally spit it all out
Make sure you're wearing a bib
And I suspect those described as driven
Are usually driven by their mum or their dad
And motivation something you work on
If you cant spell properly or add
And if self-belief is something you started
Its probably in a book I once had
Self-belief the first target of thief
The last thing on the mind of the mad
And when it comes to your final speech
And as usual the cats got your tongue
Be glad we're living in a world struck dumb
Where the fat lady hasn't yet sung
Pushchair to pensioner no-one said it right
So it was simplified to one great fib
Anyone else who couldn't put it into words
Just got their lips round good sex or a cig
So if you finally spit it all out
Make sure you're wearing a bib
From where I'm sat, the lady's not fat
She's skinny with just the one lung
And the send-off planned the thirty-piece band
Have been sacked and probably hung
And anyone here who's a 'not sure'
Got here but how they forgot
And anyone dared ask a 'what for?'
Will get what for on the spot
So if you finally spit it all out
Make sure you're out of your cot
Imagine sailing solo around the world
Only to find you've missed a continent out
And as your happy turns choppy and tidal wave swirls
You're wondering why there's no one about
At least Captain Scott actually stood on the spot
Where he planned to put up Union Jack
And though Captain Cook cursed the map that he took
He got near enough for native's attack
That's how it feels trying to navigate you
Even with compass and infinite time
Just when I think I've found some part that's new
I find a flag already up that's not mine
Circling you is journey minus view
Exploration without reason or reward
'Cause when I get near you use an arrow or spear
To prevent my heart ever being shored
The earth ain't flat but it's a simple doormat
Compared to your unclimbable self
The desolate terrain you have to cross to your brain
Just one of your slippery shelves
That's how it feels trying to navigate you
Even with compass and infinite time
Just when I think I've found some part that's new
I find a flag already up that's not mine
And if I ever get close I'll need a banner or post
To hang it from, first there or not
So voyage may uncover a sister or brother
And a friendship that Colombus forgot.
Don't feel bad if you wake up feeling suddenly old
More the realisation that you've let yourself be covered by mould
Age is not something you wrap up if you're feeling the cold
It's a laugh ten times harder at a joke eleven times told
Down to the churchyard, check out the vaults
Dig up the coffins, unscrew the bolts
No better reminder, no strong enough salts
To show this pitiful few that we've missed the last waltz
Don't feel bad if you're feeling past you sell-by date
Like the roller coaster ride slowed down to a serious debate
Oh the weather you tell them you're ready or whether you wait
Does someone place a hand on your shoulder you point the way to the gate
Down to the churchyard, check out the vaults
Dig up the coffins, unscrew the bolts
No better reminder, no strong enough salts
To show this pitiful few that we've missed the last waltz
You don't count the birthdays 'til your out on your own
They come thicker and faster and too damn late to postpone
And wisdom's the last thing the scientists willing to clone
Science advances, maturity dances alone
All the secrets we have shared
Have moved to a couple better paired
So if he impales himself on javelin or spike
I will try my best to be the perfect lookalike
And if he wants to be smart
And enter a property quiz
Every weed in the garden's mine but the lawnmower's his
Every weed in the garden's mine but the lawnmower's his
And if his manhood needs the help of scaffold or even a winch
I will gladly supplement that extra little inch
And if it ever reaches tie-break at the property quiz
If they've got my fingerprints on, they're my tits and fanny not his
If they've got my fingerprints on, they're my not his
Now you've found someone new
May I watch him do what I used to do
So if he dies an ugly death or even if he faints
I'll be there at the window with my face pressed up against
Maybe I shouted too loud
Maybe you were blissfully deaf
But I hope he's a better sport than he was a ref
I hope he's a better sport than he was a ref
And if his manhood needs the help of scaffold or even a winch
I will gladly supplement that extra little inch
And if it ever reaches tie-break at the property quiz
If they've got my fingerprints on, they're my tits and fanny not his
If they've got my fingerprints on, they're my not his
I hope he likes to fly
And is a good host to every guest
'Cause there's less chance of dying in a crash than being bored to death
Yes there's less chance of dying in a crash than being bored to death
And if his manhood needs the help of scaffold or even a winch
I will gladly supplement that extra little inch
And if it ever reaches tie-break at the property quiz
If they've got my fingerprints on, they're my tits and fanny not his
If they've got my fingerprints on, they're my not his
Now you've found someone new
(Heaton/Rotheray)
Line One is the time
That you, you first stayed over at mine
And we drank our first bottle of wine
And we cried
Line Two we're away
And we both, we both had nowhere to stay
Well the bus-shelter's always OK
When you're young
Now you're older and I look at your face
Every wrinkle is so easy to place
And I only write them down just in case
That you die
Let's take a look at these crows feet, just look
Sitting on the prettiest eyes
Sixty 25th of Decembers
Fifty-nine 4th of Julys
Not through the age or the failure, children
Not through the hate or despise
Take a good look at these crows feet
Sitting on the prettiest eyes
Line Three I forget
But I think, I think it was our first ever bet
And the horse we backed was short of a leg
Never mind
Line Four in a park
And the things, the things that people do in the dark
I could hear the faintest beat of your heart
Then we did
Now you're older and I look at your face
Every wrinkle is so easy to place
And I only write them down just in case
You should die
Lets take a look at these crows feet, just look
Sitting on the prettiest eyes
Sixty 25th of Decembers
Fifty-nine 4th of Julys
You can't have too many good times, children
You can't have too many lines
Take a good look at these crows feet
Sitting on the prettiest eyes
Well my eyes look like a map of the town
And my teeth are either yellow or they're brown
But you'll never hear the crack of a frown
When you are here
You'll never hear the crack
Of a frown
(Heaton/Rotheray)
I once had a friend who I loved from my heart
But I went on and left her 'fore I'd made a start
Now I'm moaning the blues like the rest of the charts
Take me back
So I'll cry with a limp
Just get by on a limb
Till these blue eyes of mine they are closed
So here's to an old fashioned peck on the cheek
And farewell my sweet Northern Rose
Give me one last love song
To bring you back, bring you back
Give me one last video, just dressed in black, dressed in black
Give him a chorus and that bit at the end
Where he wails on and on 'bout the loss of a friend
Let him scream loudly 'well this love could mend'
Let it die, let it die
Those bloody great ballads we hated at first
Well I bought them all, now I'm writing worse
Save us from baldness and saving the earth
Take me back
And I'll smile with a limp
And I'll love with a limp
Till the clouds disappear from above
And as the storm moves away all I can say
Is there's a towel on the door for your love
Give me one last love song
To bring you back, bring you back
Give me one last video, just dressed in black, dressed in black
Give him a chorus and that bit at the end
Where he wails on and on 'bout the loss of a friend
Let him scream loudly 'well this love could mend'
Let it die, let it die, let it die
(Heaton/Rotheray)
This is my life and this is how it reads
For every chapter, a thousand memories
A murder, a mystery where everybody bleeds
A fantasy, a thriller with romance and disease
Diary entry 9th of May '62
We've had some ugly babies but none were quite like you
Diary entry '62 end of May
It looks as if the nose and chin are definitely here to stay
They're here to stay, they're here to stay
If my lips start smiling and my knees start a-knocking
I'm a failure
You are, you are
And if I seem half-hearted, it's because I'm broken hearted
And I'm a failure
You are, you are, you are (I am)
You are, you are, you are (I am)
This is my life and this is how it reads
A documentary that nobody believes
Albert Steptoe in 'Gone with the Breeze'
Mother played by Peter Beardsley, father by John Cleese
Diary entry '68 end of the year
A cardboard Apollo 6 has given the all clear
11th December '68 Captain's log
Proposed trip to Mars is cancelled due to fog
It's due to fog, it's due to fog
If my lips start smiling and my knees start a-knocking
I'm a failure
You are, you are
And if I seem half-hearted, it's because I'm broken hearted
And I'm a failure
You are, you are, you are (I am)
You are, you are, you are (I am)
This is the play, it was I who wrote the script
Terry meets June in 'Tales from the Crypt'
It was going to be a film but the camera person slipped
They later found him scolding a banana
Diary entry 10th of April '89
The world is going mad but me I'm doing fine
I'm doing fine
Back to bed, back to reality
Just fine.
(Heaton/Rotheray)
They say always use a condom, I say always use a whip
They say be careful where you come at night, I just shoot straight from the hip
When it comes to loves great fountain, I won't just take a sip
I'll swallow and I'll gulp until the fountain makes me sick
So it's me left with the baby and disease
You can't say you didn't want it on your hands and on your knees
You made me feel so special
Well you were especially good
I'm sorry that you misunderstood
These neatly folded corduroys hide rubber underneath
But the only rubber you have worn is that useless rubber sheath
I won't have what I've got for you stolen by no thief
'Cause the safest sex I've ever had was hanging from a tree
So you've left me for another pretty face
That's not true I left you for one half the human race
Now I'm by myself
A woman who knows her place
It's not so much the chase, it's the race
They say treat her like a lady and she'll treat you like her jewels
They say cruel to be kind, I just say cruel to be cruel
They say only marry once, I say only marry fools
They wouldn't have made the cane if you weren't meant to break the rules
Have you told them that you'll hurt them then be gone?
I've told them that I'll hurt them if that really turns them on
You left a bitter scar
I tied those ropes too tight!
I'll tie them loose for you tonight
When I told you that I loved you
I meant mini-correct
When I said I'd never leave you
I meant mini-correct
A ring around your finger, a chain around your neck
That was major correct
(Heaton/Rotheray)
Look what I found in my beer
A couple of dancing ladies and a ticket out of here
Look what I found in my beer
A start to being lonely and an end to my career
Look what he found in his gin
Lights' looking lively when love's looking dim
Look what he found in his gin
Souls look heavy when personality's thin
Look what I found in the drum
A lifelong beat and a replacement to the rum
Look what I found in the guitar
Another fellow thinker and a chauffeur to my heart
Look what I found in the mic
An end to screwed-up drinking and a Paul I actually like
Look what I found in my beer
A free test drive for a heart I cannot steer
Look what I found in my beer
Look what I found in my drink
A brain without a plughole and a sink without a think
Look what I found in my drink
A "love you" to the barmaid and a too-familiar wink
Look what we found in his booze
The reflection of him and his children without shoes
Look what we found in his booze
This mornings jigsaw in a hill of last nights clues
Look what I found in the drum
A lifelong beat and a replacement to the rum
Look what I found in the guitar
Another fellow thinker and a chauffeur to my heart
Look what I found in the mic
An end to screwed-up drinking and a Paul I actually like
Look what I found in my beer
A free test drive for a heart I cannot steer
Look what I found in my beer
Look what we found in the dance
Look what I've found in the song
Low expectations in a large pile of cans
It makes the drink seem weak,
the friendship strong
(Heaton/Rotheray)
You can't write a novel from a briefcase
You can write a poem from a trench
You can dream a dream from A to B
But you can't catch a bus from a bench
You don't back a horse called Striding Snail
You don't name your boat Titanic II
So why when I see your happy smiling face
Do I always end up singing Little Blue
Little Blue, how do you do
Your smile looks like heaven
but your eyes hold a storm about to brew
Little Blue
How can a flower so pretty
be so laden down with dew
Little Blue
How can a flower so pretty
be so laden down with dew
Little Blue
You can't build a brewery on a cemetery
You can build a pub on a church
And people fall quicker than buildings do
You have to decide what comes first
You don't call a plane the Flying Roman
'Cause the Romans always walked and never flew
So why when I see your happy smiling face
Do I always end up singing Little Blue
Little Blue, how do you do
Your smile looks like heaven
but your eyes hold a storm about to brew
Little Blue
How can a flower so pretty
be so laden down with dew
Little Blue
Well Bukowski wrote a story from a barstool
And Keats from the top of a hill
So I'm going to save my special song for you
From a grave where it's quiet and it's chill
'Cause there's a queue of clouds assembled
On the horizon of your smile
When most think that you're holding back
I know you're holding bile
Little Blue, how do you do
Your smile looks like heaven
but your eyes hold a storm about to brew
Little Blue
How can a flower so pretty
be so laden down with dew
Little Blue
How can a flower so pretty
be so laden down with dew
Little Blue
When was the last time you felt so happy
You had to give yourself a good pinch
When did you ever fail one of life's highs
Without using stepladder or winch
That's why the lifeless crave the past
'Cause when they're flogged, stoned, lynched
They can watch the living fizzle out to nought
Without even moving one inch
That's what keeps you alive
The thought of undeserved death
That's why cynics deep-sea dive
Just to watch someone healthy lose breath
That's what really makes you tick
When the fearless are stopped in their tracks
Optimism looks up counts the stars
Pessimism looks down and counts cracks
That Monday morning moaners club
That meet every week on park bench
At least they've earned their grumble stripes
When they fought tooth and nail in the trench
If you ever sat down in one place too long
They'd need a fork-lift truck and a wrench
Indecision drip feeds modesty
But apathy fails even to quench
That's what keeps you alive
The thought of undeserved death
That's why cynics deep-sea dive
Just to watch someone healthy lose breath
That's what really makes you tick
When the fearless are stopped in their tracks
Optimism looks up counts the stars
Pessimism looks down and counts cracks
And even when it's every man for himself
You still like to stick with the bunch
You'd rather tag along at the back of the crowd
To risk anything on a hunch
That's what keeps you alive
The thought of undeserved death
That's why cynics deep-sea dive
Just to watch someone healthy lose breath
That's what really makes you tick
When the fearless are stopped in their tracks
Optimism looks up counts the stars
Pessimism looks down and counts cracks
If we crawl at two
We could crawl at twenty-two
And grovel at
The drop of a hat
And once they've got you down there
It's so hard to re-straighten your back
It we crawl at two
We could crawl at one handred and two
And the target brainless don't quite reach
Covered so kindly in your opening speech
Is a tiny crab of thought, crab of thought
On a sideways beach
Let lessons not the pupils teach
Justice not the lesers breach
And maggots not have fingers
Wagged at by leech
Well I made sure
I wrote this song in braille
So you could touch the words
The words that sail
From my mouth back to the jail
You could touch the words that sail
From the mouth back to the jail
That is posing as tongue
Curtsies, bows, thank you sirs
And the wearing of a business suit
Lead to complaints of backache
And end with a Nazi salute
And once they've got you down there
It's so hard to re-straighten your back
If we crawl at two
We could crawl at two two two
And the target brainless don't quite reach
Covered so kindly in your opening speech
Is a tiny crab of thought, crab of thought
On a sideways beach
Let lessons not the pupils teach
Justice not the lesers breach
And maggots not have fingers
Wagged at by leech
Well I made sure
I wrote this song in braille
So you could touch the words
The words that sail
From my mouth back to the jail
You could touch the words that sail
From the mouth back to the jail That is posing as tongue
If we crawl at two
We could crawl at twenty-two
If we crawl at two
We could crawl at twenty-two
(Heaton/Rotheray)
This is the Awards for Industry and Free Enterprise
So let me sit you down and tell you how I won first prize
I took on your free enterprise and your pretty little shops
Walked in with empty bags and walked out with the lot
So I've come for my award, I've come for my award
I thought I'd come in person that's the least I can afford
Let hands be shook
Champagne poured
Sentence ignored
Yes. I've come for my award
This is the Awards for Industry and Free Enterprise
Anyone want a gold watch in a ladies' size?
There's a few more round the back
I stole them from your shop
We've got no more in silver, that's all that you'd got
So I've come for my award, I've come for my award
I thought I'd come in person that's the least I can afford
Let hands be shook
Champagne poured
Sentence ignored
Yes. I've come for my award
I chatted with your guards and winked at roving eye
A thousand hidden cameras were searching cross the sky
But they didn't see me pinch them from underneath their eyes
So I've come for my award, I've come for my award
I thought I'd come in person that's the least I can afford
Let hands be shook
Champagne poured
Sentence ignored
Yes. I've come for my award
Jesus was my greatest accomplice
Jesus was my greatest accomplice
Jesus was my greatest accomplice
Yes, I've come for my award
Hairdryer, overcoat, telly, dot-to-dot
Video, compact disc, there's nothing we forgot
Whilst I was busy smiling my father got the lot
I've come for my Award
(Heaton/Rotheray)
With a face like a crab's bus ticket
And skin like a llama's door mat
He was always gonna struggle
Nature had seen to that
He dreamt of those old-fashioned movies
Where Bogart gets the dame
But a lorry load of Lorre
Is still the score of pain
And he sings
I may be ugly
But I've got the bottle-opener
He may be fat but he's got the cork-screw
And in the party party politics of this ugly fame
There is no orderly queue
With a chin like a tramp's juke-box
And eyes like a rhino's ash-tray
It was always going to be pantomime
That made him sing and dance anyway
When you feel like London
And you look like Hull
You think Travolta pulled Newton - John
Who did John Hurt pull?
And they compliment the compliment
And it's driving you insane
It's like talking to a helicopter
When you know that you're a plane
Breath like a mountain goat's satchel
Nose like a pool of sick
But you always leave your flies ahoy
'Cause the world wants to suck your dick
Let it suck!
And he sings
I may be ugly
But I've got the bottle-opener
He may be fat but he's got the cork-screw
And in the party party politics of this ugly fame
There is no orderly queue
(Heaton/Rotheray)
How long's a tear take to dry
When a woman has no breeze?
How long's a tear take to dry
When a woman, when a woman's on her knees?
How long's a tear take to dry
When a woman hasn't sinned?
How long's a tear take to dry
When the weather, when the weather brings no wind?
Look I'm sorry that I hurt you
You look a million dollars and a dime
Time's the greatest healer
But love's the greatest stealer of all time
I'm so sorry, (make it plural) - My heart's broken, (mine's the same)
I still love you (make it plural)
You're so sweet!
The flowers smell sweeter, the closer you are to the grave
The flowers smell sweeter, the closer you are to the grave
How long's a tear take to dry
When almighty brings is rain?
How long's a tear take to dry
And do tears, and do tears really stain?
This heart was like a tardis
I went and lost the key in a fight
I've never found a locksmith
Will you be my locksmith tonight?
(Will I shite)
I'm so sorry, (make it plural) - My heart's broken, (mine's the same)
I still love you (make it plural)
You're so sweet!
The flowers smell sweeter, the closer you are to the grave
The flowers smell sweeter, the closer you are to the grave
How long does sorry really last
Is it tattooed upon your heart?
Or is it hung in a museum
With your Mona Lisa, Mona Lisa ex-ass art?
I have no summer, (I'll buy you summer)
I'll buy July, if December makes you cry
A little or no trace face belies a lie of many days gone by
A little or no trace face belies a lie of many days gone by
(Heaton/Rotheray)
Only buy this if you're lonely
Only listen if you're blue
If you are married and you are happy
This song is not to do with you
If you're listening at your work place
Feeling small amongst the men
Do not sing this to your workmates
This song is not to do with them
But if you're sitting on a barstool
Wondering what on earth to do
Don't let them tell you no-one cares
This songs one especially for you
If you are listening on your radio
Smiling while you drive along
Tune the band into another
Because this song is not your song
If you're working as a DJ
Leave this record in it's sleeve
Cause this ones not for general airplay
This song's for the day she leaves
If you've bought this and you're sinking
And I think that you know who
It matters not the mouth that's singing
This song's one especially for you
So this goes out to the lonely
So this goes out to the sad
And it goes out to the only
One you felt you ever had
If you're there in total darkness
With a letter in your hand
Do not bother with the letter
lust listen to the band
So only buy this if you're lonely
(Heaton/Rotheray)
Vagabonds don't fall in love
They just wheel and they deal
So if I turn a funny colour when you kiss me
I can't help the way that I feel
Hooligans don't fall in love
They just break up others lives
So when I come to you on bended knee
Don't forget my twenty other wives
So why?
Turn to a life of violence and crime?
So why?
Why do you cheat and why do you lie?
Because there's always someone with a bigger car
There's always someone with a bigger cigar
If you've been far
There's someone who's been further than your far
When you make your cart, you get to the start
There's always someone in a faster cart
There's always someone in a faster cart
There's always someone in a faster cart
Gangsters don't fall in love
They just roam from town to town
So when we kiss and we hold and we whisper
Please don't ever write it down
Hooligans don't fall in love
They just lie and they drink
So if you say I won't say 'I will'
Then I won't I think!
So why?
Turn to a life of violence and crime?
So why?
Why do you cheat and why do you lie?
Because there's always someone with a bigger car
There's always someone with a bigger cigar
If you've been far
There's always someone who's been further than your far
At last you're straight and you make a new start
There's always someone with a better heart
There's always someone with a better heart
There's always someone with a better heart
But all in all we're not so bad
We never take from our own kind
Bad's quite good when it's all you've ever had
And no bloody good sounds quite refined
(Heaton/Rotheray)
Don't know what I'm doing here
I'll carry on regardless
Got enough money for one more beer
I'll carry on regardless
Good as gold, but stupid as mud
He'll carry on regardless
They'll bleed his heart 'til there's no more blood
But carry on regardless
Carry on with laugh
Carry on with cry
Carry on with brown under moonlit sky
I want my love, my joy, my laugh, my smile, my needs
Not in the star signs
Or the palm that she reads
I want my sun-drenched, wind-swept Ingrid Bergman kiss
Not in the next life
I want it in this
I want it in this
Got one note to last all week
I'll carry on regardless
The hill to happiness is far too steep
I'll carry on regardless
Dried his mouth in the Memphis sun
He carried on regardless
Tried to smile and he bit his tongue
But carry on regardless
Carry on with work
Carry on with love
Carry on with cheering
Anything above
I want my love, my joy, my laugh, my smile, my needs
Not in the star signs
Or the palm that she reads
I want my sun-drenched, wind-swept Ingrid Bergman kiss
Not in the next life
I want it in this
I want it in this
I don't want silver, I just want gold
Carry on regardless
Bronze is for the sick and the old
But carry on regardless
I want my love, my joy, my laugh, my smile, my needs
Not in the star signs
Or the palm that she reads
I want my sun-drenched, wind-swept Ingrid Bergman kiss
Not in the next life
I want it in this
I want it in this
Head over heels is fine
Unless you're in stilettos
Love knows no boundaries
Unless your in one of loves ghettos
Love climb every mountain high
But some of us are stuck in a cell
All you need is love love love
And a bloody good tunnel as well
You could get here by aeroplane or boat
Not unreasonable demands
But I could save myself the price of a ticket,
If I didn't let go of your hands
Never mind killing me getting there
But somebody has to make plans
First embrace shoots you into space
And doesn't give a damn where it lands
Why not take a chance on love?
Even at hundred to one
If promise that we'll never let love die
Within a week one of us'll be gone
Love sure makes the world go round
And takes you for a hell of a ride
But I don't wanna waste time searching for love
When it's already stood at my side
Love will make you blind to the truth
Romantic novels all tell
So I'll spend a little time romancing by myself
But that turned me blind aswell
You can get here by crossing sea or desert
I can barely make Blackpool Sands
Railroad, caravan, save it for the mad man
Lets see if love just stands
Never mind killing me getting there
But somebody has to make plans
First embrace shoots you into space
And doesn't give a damn where it lands
Why not take a chance on love?
Even at a hundred to one
If we promise that we'll never let love die
Then within a week one of us'll be gone
Does the length of journey or heart makes
Really provide any proof
All it really proves is love never moves
When it's right there under your roof
My heart is in the right place
Then what's the point in making that trip
Stay right here with you hand on my heart
See how often you cause it to skip
See how often you cause it to skip
See how often you cause it to skip
(Heaton/Rotheray)
Build your dream castle out of sand
It's bound to get washed up anyway
Dream your dreams out of last week
They're bound to have come up yesterday
If you want to give them flowers
Make them paper ones you send
Live your life a jigsaw
It goes back in the box, in the end
Build your dream heart from plasticine
'Cause you're putty in their hands
Mould your ambition in concrete
'Cause you'll only land in quicksand
Carve your dough from play-dough
'Cause they'll roll you into a ball
Make your friends from Lego
'Cause Lego makes a wall
'Cause when you build big houses
The paintings get stolen
The devil says he's silver
When you know that he is golden
When papier mch heads make more sense
than the sun
Giving teacher apples could be fun or dumb
Build your planes from Airfix
'Cause you'll only lose the war
Write your love letters on rice paper
At least you'll feed the poor
Build your dream castle out of sand
It's bound to get washed up anyway
Dream your dreams out of last week
They're bound to have come up yesterday
(S Club 7)
DJ's got the party started
There's no end in sight
Everybody's movin to the rythym thats inside
It's a crazy world
But tonight's the right situation
Don't get left behind
I can feel the music
Moving through me everywhere
Ain't no destination baby
We don't even care
There's a place to be
If you need the right education
Let it take you there
Just go
With the magic baby
I can see it there in your eyes (I can see it there in your eyes)
Let it flow and stop the waiting
Right here on the dance floor
Is where you gotta let it go
Don't stop movin'
Can you feel the music
DJ's got us going around, 'round
Don't stop movin'
Find your own way to it
Listen to the music
Taking you to places that you've never been before
Baby now
You can touch the moment
Almost feel it in the air
Don't know where we're goin
Baby, we don't even care
Ain't no mystery
Just use your imagination
Let it take you there
Just go
With the magic baby
I can see it there in your eyes (I can see it there in your eyes)
Let it flow
Stop the waiting
Right here on the dancefloor
Is where you gotta let it go
Don't stop movin'
Can you feel the music
DJ's got us going around, 'round
Don't stop movin'
Find your own way to it
Listen to the music
Taking you to places that you've never been before
Baby now
Forget about your fears tonight
Listen to your heart
Let's just touch the sky (listen to your heart)
No need to reason why
Just listen to the sound
Let it make you come alive
Don't stop movin'
Can you feel the music
DJ's got us going around, 'round
Don't stop movin'
Find your own way to it
Listen to the music
taking you to places that you've never been before
Baby now
Baby now
Baby now
DJ's got us moving around, right 'round, right 'round
DJ's got us moving around
(Blue Oyster Cult)
All our times have come
Here but now they're gone
Seasons don't fear the reaper
Nor do the wind, the sun or the rain
We can be like they are
Come on baby... Don't fear the Reaper
Baby take my hand... Don't fear the Reaper
We'll be able to fly... Don't fear the Reaper
Baby I'm your man...
La la la la la
Valentine is done
Here but now they're gone
Romeo and Juliet
Are together in eternity...
Romeo and Juliet
40,000 men and women everyday... Like Romeo and Juliet
40,000 men and women everyday... Redefine happiness
Another 40,000 coming everyday...We can be like they are
Come on baby... Don't fear the Reaper
Baby take my hand... Don't fear the Reaper
We'll be able to fly... Don't fear the Reaper
Baby I'm your man...
Love of two is one
Here but now they're gone
Came the last night of sadness
And it was clear she couldn't go on
Then the door was open and the wind appeared
The candles blew and then disappeared
The curtains flew and then he appeared
Saying don't be afraid
Come on baby... And she had no fear
And she ran to him... And they started to fly
They looked backward and said goodbye
She had become like they are
She had taken his hand
She had become like they are
Come on baby...don't fear the reaper
Come on, come on, come on
La la la la la
Come on, baby
Come on, baby
Come on, baby
Come on, baby
I've been so happy since I walked away
I never thought that I could feel as great as I do today
'Cause you were nothing but a big mistake
And life is wonderful, now that I'm rid of you
Oh I must have been crazy to have stayed with you
I can't believe I thought I was in love with you
But now the scales have fallen I can really see
And I say go to hell, 'cause that's where you took me
Well, I've felt better since I slammed that door
You always cramped my style, I never noticed before
It's been a non-stop party since I flew the coop
I can't believe I fell for such a loser like you
And is it any wonder that I felt so blue
When I was always having to put up with you
Oh, here we go again, just lay the blame on me
Don't say another word, 'cause sweetheart, you're history
I know that you miss me really, bet you wish that you still had me
You'll never find someone like me but I've got no regrets at all
Because I've met this girl and she's so good to me
She's really beautiful, fantastic company
And, when I'm with her I realise what love can be
Because she's fifty times the person you'll ever be
Good luck, mister, do you think I care?
Since you've been gone the offers have been everywhere
I've got a million guys just lining up for me
I've turned a corner, boy, my life is ecstasy
Well, I've been in heaven since I walked away
I never thought that I could feel as great as I do today
'Cause you were nothing but a waste of space
And life is wonderful now that I'm over you
Over you
Over you
Well I always knew you'd take the crutches
and not the skis
1 always knew you'd take the stilts
and then your knees
When God gave you the sky
I knew you'd take the trees
Son you've grown those chicken wings
You just can't fly
They anchored our dream yacht to ocean bed
chained our ideal home to bicycle shed
Clamped our racing car before we sat in driver's seat
Tied our shooting stars and wrapped them round a tree
We could've courted Einstein
could've courted Marx
we could've gone for strolls
like other families do in parks
Son you were born a dud
in a family without sparks
Yes you've got those chicken wings
You just can't fly
The chequered flag
that losers despise
never flew in our port
or harboured in our eyes
Cause we always formed that queue
for second prize
This family's got those chicken wings
we just can't fly
Our winning tickets ripped up into shreds
The tale of this family, is its heads
We're bouncing on a pogo stick
without any springs
It hurts me to admit this
but we've got those chicken wings
Yes you've got those chicken wings
and all the luggage that the failure brings
Is a swallow flying high that sings
Look he's got those chicken wings
He may as well die
When you say goodbye I really want to know
Everything you do and everyplace you go
And did you take a regular supply
Of those crazy little tampax with you
It hurts me deep inside, it hurts me outside too
I feel a little pardon and I feel a little used
If you ever needed someone to polish up your shoes
I'll be waiting, with my brush
I'd move to Italy with you if I had the money
But 'til then I'll sit at home and read maps and go to pub
Where the weather isn't sunny and the weather isn't bad
Where the bellies look so happy but the faces look so sad
But it doesn't really matter what's outside
'Cause I'm in here and he's in here
And she's in here and they're in here
We're all in here, we're all so glad
And in our own funny way we're all in Italy anyway
Eating fancy pasta, climbing mountain ranges
Drinking ice-cold lagers, living in Spanish castles
We're all with you, in our thoughts
In white ankle socks and pink Bermuda shorts
I'll be with you, with you one day, we'll all be with you, with you one day
One sunny beach, one sunny life, we're all glad for you
But 'til then, we're all glad for you, I'm so glad
I am a man, and I have a tent, I have a ball and a bat
I have a li-lo, I have a bucket
I have a good, good, good pair of trunks
I've got a good, good pair of trunks
Well here I am at the airport, with my passport
I have a brain but only just, and we're all glad
We're all so glad, I'm so glad, she's so glad, he's so glad
You know how glad I am?
Your figure like your friendship
Gradually grows and grows
The clothes that you thought that you'd shrunk
Their size just froze
When the body that you thought of as yours
Just ups and goes
I'll be happy with the weight
Of the partner that I chose
Your quick-step is slower
But your spirit's still out on the floor
And you can still hack it
'Cause you know what your feet are free for
And I'll love my dear
'Til you can't tuck it in anymore, anymore
Your second grey hair came a month
After the first
It didn't make you better
But it didn't make you feel any worse
Your third grey hair appeared
With the fourth on your beard
Your fifth, sixth, seventh sprouted out
From your nose and your ears
And I'll love you my partner
'Til you can't hide the grey anymore
Your distinguished good looks
Am the ones young girls cannot ignore
And I'll love you my partner
'Til the grey hairs hairdressers floor, hairdressers floor
Your eighth and your ninth and your tenth
You just looked to the sky
Like the charge of the Light Brigade
Was passing you by
Your quick-step is slower
But your spirit's still out on the floor
When it comes to raw beauty
You've a whole whorehouse waiting in store
Your corset has grown
Bid you're still always first to the drawer
And I'll love you my partner (And I'll love you my partner)
'Til the grey hairs the hairdresser's floor
Hairdresser's floor, hairdresser's floor
(Heaton/Rotheray)You know your problem
You keep it all in
You know your problem
You keep it all in
That's right
The conversation we had last night
When all I wanted to do was
Knife you in the heart
I kept it all in
You know your problem
You keep it all in
You know your problem
You keep it all in
Midnight, a husband getting ready to fight
A daughter sleeps alone with the light
Turned on, she bears but
Keeps it all in Just like that murder in '73
Just like that robbery in '62
With all there things that have happened to me
I kept it all in
Why do you keep on telling me now
You know your problem
You keep it all in
You know your problem
You keep it all in
That's sweet
That conversation we had last week
When you gagged and bound me up to my seat
You're right, I do
I keep it all in
(Heaton/Rotheray)I wasn't sure if it was Marx or Hitler that was in this year
I hadn't been to Brighton for a while so it wasn't too clear
So imagine my surprise when I opened my eyes
To find it was the Liberals who were hip to sloganeer
I'm out tonight and can't decide between Soviet hip or British pride
So help me out, so help me out
Blackpool help me out, Scarborough pull me through
So help me out
They wore enamel badges of David Steel on their sleeves
And nuclear power no thanks, not sure and yes please
And their faces were two fold and their teeth they were gold
And they wore their pinstripe suits with a rip at the knee
(Heaton/Rotheray)He was just a social drinker but social every night
He enjoyed a pint or two or three or four
She was just a silent thinker, silent every night
He'd enjoy the thought of killing her before
Well he was very rarely drunk but very rarely sober
And he didn't think the problem was his drink
But he only knew his problem when he knocked her over
And when the rotting flesh began to stink
Cry freedom for the woman in the wall
Cry freedom for she has no voice at all
I hear her cry all day, all night
I hear her voice from deep within the wall
Made a cross from knitting needles
Made a grave from hoover bags
Especially for the woman in the wall She'd knitted him a jumper with dominoes on
So he wore it everyday in every week
Pretended to himself that she hadn't really gone
Pretended that he thought he beard her speak
Then at last it seemed that he was really winning
He felt that he had some sort of grip
But all of his new life was sent a-spinning
When the rotting wall began to drip
(Heaton/Rotheray)Why don't you sing 'I need you baby'?
'Cause it rhymes with crazy and it rhymes with maybe
It rhymes with lady and much much more
And it doesn't rhyme with the 'f' word
Well Simon le Bon stayed round my house before
And he was sick on the plants and he was sick on the floor
And he wouldn't go home until he'd sung his song
With a backing harmony from Paul Young
Shell we dance again?
In our special way
With our trousers round
our knees
Why don't your video have dancing girls?
With hips that curve and lips that curl
Legs are where the heartbeat starts
It's low in neckline and high in charts
But it's the partially clothed for the partially sighted
Behind over matter keeps the crowds delighted
We want Rambo in a ra-ra skirt
Nastassia Kinski in a Brazilian shirt
(Heaton/Rotheray)I love you from the bottom, of my pencil case
I love you in the songs, I write and sing
Love you because, you put me in my rightful place
And I love the PRS cheques, that you bring
Cheap, never cheap
I'll sing you songs till you're asleep
When you've gone upstairs I'll creep
And write it all down
Oh Shirley, Oh Deborah, Oh Julie, Oh Jane
I wrote so many songs about you
I forget your name (I forget your name)
Jennifer, Alison, Phillipa, Sue, Deborah, Annabel, too
Jennifer, Alison, Phillipa, Sue, Deborah, Annabel, too
I forget your name
I love your from the bottom of my pencil case
I love the way you never ask me why
I love to write about each wrinkle on your face
And I love you till my fountain pen runs dry
Deep so deep, the number one I hope to reap
Depends upon the tears you weep, so cry, lovey cry, cry, cry, cry
Oh Cathy, Oh Alison, Oh Phillipa, Oh Sue
You made me so much money, I wrote this song for you
Jennifer, Alison, Phillipa, Sue, Deborah, Annabel, too
I wrote this song for you
So let me talk about Mary, a sad story
Turned her grief into glory
Late at night, by the typewriter light,
She ripped his ribbon to shreds
(Heaton/Rotheray)Ooh you care, you really, really care
From the first 12"; I made to the colour of my underwear
Ooh you know, you really, really know
Inside, outside in, from head to toe
But where were you in the colder days?
I'd like to know, I'd like to know
And where will you be in years to come?
I'd like to know, I'd like to know
So don't beg and don't plead
You can't have the heart you made bleed
You're in love with fame
So whilst we love, please don't scream my name
You're my friends, my only real friends
But I'd like to know where you'll be when the party ends
I remember your face the dance was slow
";Easy"; by The Commodores and you said 'no'
But where were you in colder days?
I'd like to know, I'd like to know
And where will you be in years to come?
I'd like to know, I'd like to know
So here's an invitation to this caring nation
25 years from now will you come my cremation
Sherry or beer, family and friends
Will you be there? Will you be there?
No fame, no fortune, no name in lights
Will you be there? Will you be there?
(Heaton/Rotheray)If, if you choose that we will always lose
Well then I'll sail this ship alone
And if, if you decide to give him another try
Well then I'll sail this ship alone
Well they said if I wrote the perfect love song
You would take me back
Well I wrote it but I lost it
And now will you take me back anyway
Now if, if you insist that this is for the best
Well then I'll sail this ship alone
And if, if you swear that you no longer care
Well then I'll sail this ship alone
I'll sail this ship alone
Between the pain and the pleasure
I'll sail this ship alone
Amongst the sharks and the treasure
If you would rather go your way then go your way
I'll sail this ship alone
If, if you're afraid that I won't make the grade
Well then I'll sail this ship alone
And if, if you agree to him instead of me
Well then I'll sail this ship alone Well they said if I wrote the perfect letter
That I would have a chance
Well I wrote it, and you burnt it
And now do I have a chance anyway
If, if you swear that you no longer care
Well then I'll sail this ship alone
I'll sail this ship alone
Between the pain and the pleasure
I'll sail this ship alone
Amongst the sharks and the treasure
If you would rather go your way then go your way
I'll sail this ship alone
Well they said if I burnt myself alive
That you'd come running back
(Heaton/Rotheray)Birds are singing in the trees
As we rise up on a beautiful morning
But I can't hear
That beautiful sound
Because I'm permanently yawning
What about the time of the fancy dress
When you came dressed as your mum
And there I was splendid in my penguin suit
So scared to show my bill
You must have been listening to your Carousel
Your Carousel, that Carousel
Remember the time
When I turned the house into a rocket ship
And you refused to come to Mars
You said ";It's too far";
You had to be back by six to watch your Carousel
Saturn's much too far
You had to watch Carousel (What's going on in there?) When we first met
I asked you for your hand
I didn't really mean that hand
I meant join hands
Bake phallic cake (Bake phallic cake)
Carry round sticky tape
And love those devil dogs
Be an Indian elephant (Be an Indian elephant)
Bait straight people
But you must have missed my wink
You must have missed my wink
(I love you,
But you're boring, you know,
I really do love you
But you're so particularly boring)
Maybe you were too busy listening to Carousel
watching Carousel, living Carousel
You were listening to Carousel
You were watching Carousel
(Heaton/Rotheray)Your `fight them on the beaches' speeches make me despair
'Cause if there's one thing we can guarantee is you will not he there
Tidying your room, making up your bed
And if your diary's full that week you'll send us lot instead
Send us lot instead, put a poppy by my lovers bed
We believe you when you say you've hurt your back
Have you ever been away
Where were you when we took Calais?
You don 't know, you don't care
You 're just glad that you wasn't there
Have you ever been away
I'm afraid your Rule Britannia mania doesn't ring so true
If I was captain of the waves I'd turn the gun on you
Any last requests before you join dead?
I'll crap into your Union Jack and wrap it round your head
Wrap it round your head, take a look at all the blood we've shed
We'll believe you when you say it was worth it
Liberate the streets of Europe, give our kids a chance
Give them Beaujolais by tap and cheap day trips to France
But you have never seen or smelt this ungodly death
It's like the stench of roasted lamb upon your father's breath
(Antonio Reid/Kenny Edmunds)Girl make a list
Go out and find yourself a new plaything
Oh girl you need a trip
'Cause he's not worth the misery and pain
So just remember how he would tell you lies
And then pretend that everything was so sweet
No need to sacrifice
If you're not satisfied
He's just a canine running round on heat
Girl, you must resist
Don't let him squirm his way into your heart
Oh girl you must insist
You've got to stop the fool before he starts So just remember how he was so untrue
And all the tacky things he did to you
No need to sympathise
'Cause he's not worth the time
You've got to find someone who's true to you
Girlfriend, how could you let him treat you so bad
Girlfriend, you know you're the best he's ever had
Girlfriend
(Heaton/Rotheray)It's 6.00am and even Big Ben
Is trying to get his head down for a kip
But no sooner is it down
And then it's on with dressing gown
For this city very rarely loses grip
But I have a friend who's never up by 10.00
He's fast asleep with mouth open wide
He's lost a lot of jobs, but he's won a lot of friends
And he says to me, he cannot tell the time
It's 7.00am and we're coughing up the phlegm
Spitting out the taste of night before
And we'll vomit and we'll choke
Just to climb their tatty rope
Well this city has its charm, and its claw And he'll blame his clock
Or he'll say he's lost his socks
And they'll tell you that he's been bitten by a snake
His excuses are an art
From the bottom of his heart
And he thinks of them whenever he awakes
It's 8.00am we're on the road again
Racing for a placing at the top
And it says green for go
For the people in the know
But for the others all it says is red for stop
It's cold and its damp
And they've dug him a grave
And the 10.15 merchants still in bed
And scrawled upon the headboard
For the whole wide world to see
";Died In The Arms Of Big Ted";
(Heaton/Rotheray)I need a little time
To think it over
I need a little space
Just on my own
I need a little time
To find my freedom
I need a little...
Funny how quick the milk turns sour
Isn't it, isn't it
Your face has been looking like that for hours
Hasn't it, hasn't it
Promises, promises turn to dust
Wedding bells just turn to rust
Trust into mistrust
I need a little room
To find myself
I need a little space
To work it out
I need a little room
All alone
I need a little...
You need a little room for your big head
Don't you, don't you
You need a little space for a thousand beds
Won't you, won't you
Lips that promise - fear the worst
Tongue so sharp - the bubble burst
Just into unjust I've had a little time
To find the truth
Now I've had a little room
To check what's wrong
I've had a little time
And I still love you
I've had a little...
You had a little time
And you had a little fun
Didn't you, didn't you
While you had yours
Do you think I had none
Do you, do you
The Freedom that you wanted bad
Is yours for good
I hope you're glad
Sad into unsad
I had a little time
To think it over
Had a little room
To work it out
I found a little courage
To call it off
I've had a little time
I've had a little time
I've had a little time
I've had a little time
(Heaton/Rotheray)There's a boy with a brace across his teeth
White socks, tattooed underneath
Bus tickets crunched up in his palm
Stood there he's spinning a yarn
There's a girl with a plastic pair of shoes
Two eyes permanently bruised
Can't find the time to be alarmed
Just stood spinning a yarn
Just take your time
It'll work out fine
It'll do no harm
To spin your yarn
You do English
I'll do sums
You break fingers
I'll break thumbs
You play Dads
And I'll play Mums
You play Glockenspiel
And I'll play drums
My name is Derek from the den
I deal in shillings and in pence
I'll get you any deal you like
Ten sweets for a mountain bike you like My name is Mandy from the yard
I deal in crazy tarot cards
I'll tell you what the future brings
One cat and a dog that sings
You do English
I'll do sums
You break fingers
I'll break thumbs
You play Dads
And I'll play Mums
You play Glockenspiel
And I'll play drums
Just take your time
It'll work out fine
It'll do no harm
To spin your yarn
You do English
I'll do sums
You break fingers
I'll break thumbs
You play Dads
And I'll play Mums
You play Glockenspiel
And I'll play drums
(Heaton/Rotheray)Queuing with the old folk
There's and old man with a wicked smile
Not through smug politeness
He's doing it in style
No savings book or flannel slacks
No ";Pardon"; when I heard them ask
Just a vodaphone and a filofax
When I'm 64
I'll dream on
They all bore the milkman
Stop him for hours at their front gate
He just sits and thinks
I'll make the bastard wait
No dribbling or incontinence
No longing for the old sixpence
Just smoking weed till age makes sense When I'm 74
I'll dream on
They all save for Blackpool
Just for the cheap companionship
Meanwhile he counts pennies
For a different trip
No smoking pipes and drinking bitter
No eyeing up the baby sitter
I'll trip up kids and I'll drop my litter
When I'm 84
I'll dream on
When I'm 84
I'll dream on late
I'll dream on
And I'll whisper late
You're in your nineties Arthur
Be careful with your back
Exercise your muscles
I'd rather Jack
I'd rather Jack
(Heaton/Rotheray)There's no more little secrets we haven't yet disclosed
We bore the living daylights of anyone too close
And all our cards at Christmas are written to us both
Count them up who's got the most?
Said we'd be close
Said we'd work perfectly
Said that we'd toast
Beautiful company
Closer than a sister to her baby brother
Closer than a cat to the child that she'll smother
It's too close for a lover
It's too close for a lover
We are each other
We are each other
We've been through all positions and this one's definitely best
You move Middle East and I'll move Wild West
What happened to our friendship we could easily have guessed
Add it up we're self-possessed
Said we'd be true
Said we'd be so so proud
Just me an you
We'd shout it out aloud
Closer than a sister to her baby brother
Closer than a cat to the child that she'll smother
It's too close for a lover
It's too close for a lover
We are each other
We are each other
Remember we went shopping and we went by piggyback
I shaved all my legs and you grew hairs upon your back
Well no-one's ever been since to this lover's shack
It's a cul-de-sac
Said we'd be close
Said we'd work perfectly
Said that we'd toast
Beautiful company
Said we'd be true
Said we'd be so so proud
Just me an you
We'd shout it out aloud
Closer than a sister to her baby brother
Closer than a secret agent working under cover
It's too close for a lover
It's too close for a lover
We are each other
We are each other
(Heaton/Rotheray)Here I walk, here I walk
Looking for an angel's wings in the den of the hawk
Here I am, here I am
With a choice between an also ran and a sunbed tan
And you thought you'd found your own little look
How I misjudged, how I mistook
And you thought you'd found the style of your hair
I guess tonight I'll take, I'll take these troubles to
the rocking chair
So I'll take these high-heeled shoes
And yes I'll take these traditional views
I'll take this deep despair
Of a 30 year old square, to the rocking chair Here I sit, here I sit
Looking for a warming smile in a house of cold wit
Here I stand, here I stand
Torn between the balding drunk and no man's land
And they'll tell you when you've reached your peak
Where the wolf-whistle rung there's a deafening shriek
Blowing kisses into thin air
I guess tonight I'll take, I'll take these troubles to
The rocking chair
So I'll take this awkward stance
And I'll take this sexless dance
I'll take this deep despair of a 30 year old square
To the rocking chair
Am I skinny? A shade too fat?
Mmmm...My friend the cat knows all about that
Am I happy?
(here I sit, here I sit)
Just a little sad
(looking for a warming smile in a house of cold wit)
Mmmm...My friend the cat knows all about that
Am I skinny?
(Here I walk, here I walk)
A shade too fat?
(Looking for an angel's wings in the den of the hawk)
My friend the cat knows all about that
(Heaton/Rotheray)The perfect love song it has now words it only has death threats
And you can tell a classic ballad by how threatening it gets
So if you walk into your house and she's cutting up your mother
She's only trying to tell you that she loves you like no other
No other, she loves you like no other.
The only emotions that I know are love and hate
And she's chopping & she's changing & it's making you afraid
I said close your eyes and imagine that I'm nice
She'll kiss you or she'll kill you but you'll just have to wait
Because some things that I do make you go blue
And something that you said made me go red
The perfect love has no emotions, it only harbours doubt
And if she fears your intentions she will cut you out
So do not raise your voice and do not shake your fist
Just pass her the carving knife, if that's what she insists
Insists, if that's what she insists
A hate tattoo on my brain and a love one on my heart
I'd love to hate you, like I love you
and just tear your dreams apart
I said close your eyes and imagine that I'm nice
Cupid's arrow looking more like Cupid's poisoned dart
Because some things that I do make you go blue
And something that you said made me go red
Because some things that I do make you go blue
And something that you said made me go red
The perfect kiss is dry as sand and doesn't take your breath
The perfect kiss is with the boy that you've just stabbed to death
Is with the boy that you've just stabbed to death
Is with the boy that you've just stabbed to death
(Heaton/Rotheray)Old Red eyes is back
Red from the night before the night before
Walked into the wrong bar walked into a door
Old Red's in town
And sitting late at night he doesn't make a sound
Just adding to the wrinkles on his deathly frown
They're only red from all the tears that I should've shed
They're only red from all the women that I could've wed
So when you look into these eyes I hope you realise
They could never be blue
They could never be blue
They could never be blue
They could never be blue
Listen up Old Red
You never listened to a word the doctor said
He told you if you drank another you'd be dead
Old Red Eyes is back
His shoulders ache all over and his brain is sore
He pours a drink and listens to his body thaw
They're only red from all the thoughts unused inside my head
They're only red from all the things I could have done instead
So when you look into these eyes I hope you realise
They could never be blue
They could never be blue
They could never be blue
They could never be blue
Blue is a street without an end
Red is the colour of my hell
Blue is a greeting from a friend
Red is the colour of farewell
Old Red he died
And every single landlord in the district cried
An empty bottle of whisky laying by his side
A lazy little tear running from each eye
They could never be blue
They could never be blue
They could never be blue
They could never be blue
(Heaton/Rotheray)Here it is again it's so so mad
Turning young and happy into old and sad
Here it is again just passed by chance
All the way to the lawyer from a sloppy dance
It was another holiday argument
But she threw him into the sea
A glass bottomed boat pulled him up
His face was rotting in weed
It was rotting in weed, I've seen those people bleed
If it never happens well it happened to me
Do you know who you love
Does anybody here have a clue
Just who they're with
And it was glance by glance
And it was blow by blow
Did they know
Just who they loved
Here it is again in the same disguise
Clean shoes, smart tie and deep blue eyes
Here it is again and it makes you sick
Watch the blind man walk along without a stick
Heads he was a beautiful lover
Tails he was definitely bad
Heads you're like no other
Tails just the best he'd had You're the best he's had
You're the best so far
All the way to the church from the back of a car
Do you know who you love
Does anybody here have a clue
Just who they're with
And it was glance by glance
And it was blow by blow
Did they know
Just who they loved
Just who they loved
Just who they loved
Just who they loved
Just who they loved
(Heaton/Rotheray)Through ugly pints and Sunday breath
Sit men whose stare is cold as death
Through wide lapels and glued up eyes
Through made up kids and made up wives
Sitting in the heart of them
Is a man who's not like other men
Don't you know just who I am
A nod, a wink, I am the domino man.
And if you pull a double one
I'll pack my bags and I'll be gone
If you pull a three and four
I'm flying off to Singapore
Where women dance and tigers roar
I'm lying on a distant shore
I'm living life just as as I can
A nod, a wink, another drink I am the domino man.
Through a twenty deep screen of humourists
Through slavering jaws and angry fists
Through tales of mishap and the clickety-clack
Is fully paid member of the brother of the tap
Through heavy smoke and idle bets
Through heaving lungs and heavy debts
Sits a man who knows he can
A nod, a wink, I am the domino man And if you pull a two and a six
I'll pack my bags and take that risk
And if you pull a four and five
They'll never take this man alive
I'll go far east and I'll survive
The market streets I'll duck and dive
I'm living life as fast as I can
A nod, a wink, another drink I am the domino man
And when he's off to sail the seven seas
He just stay indoors or hides up trees
He's been to places that you've never seen
But his mind is blank and his passport's clean
But if you pull a two and a six
I'll pack my bags and take that risk
And if you pull a four and five
They'll never take this man alive
I'll go far east and I'll survive
The market street I'll duck and dive
I'm living life just as fast as I can
A nod, a wink, another drink, I am the domino man
(Heaton/Rotheray)This is the dinner prepared
This is the dress that I made
This is the child I brought up
And this is the woman you laid
This is the woman you laid
This is the perfume I wore
This is the hotel we stayed
This is the way that I lay
And this is the woman you laid
This is the woman you laid
We promise ourselves this is no one-night stand
Let us draw all the curtains and strike up the band
And I'm thrilled by gentlest touch of your hand we pretend
There's a tear, there's a tear
Not through confusion through fear, through fear
This is the smile that I wore
This is the song that we played
This is the way that I lay
And this is the woman you laid, this is the woman you laid
Next morning our eyes filled with sleepy regret
A kiss and goodbye and a long cigarette
But the pillow I lay on is cold and it's wet
Can't pretend
It's a tear, it's a tear
Not through confusion, through fear, through fear
And knowing at least that love came so near
Just adds to the weight of this bell bottomed tear
Roll out the red carpets and unplug the phone
Root out the photos you've already shown
Cos this is one night you won't sleep alone
Just one night
There's a tear there's a tear
Not through confusion through fear, through fear
And knowing at least that love came so near
Just adds to the weight of this bell bottomed tear
There's a tear, there's a tear
Not through confusion, through fear
Not through confusion, through fear.
(Heaton/Rotheray)Close your legs, open your mind
Leave those compliments well behind
Dig a little deeper into yourself
And you may find
Come over here just sit right down
Needn't comb your hair, needn't pout or frown
I hear you've turned our young men
Into dribbling clowns
36D so what (D) so what
Is that all that you've got?
36D so what (D) so what
Is that all that you've got?
Make their day and go ahead
Remove your clothes lie on their bed
Just a last gasp chance or an outside bet
To the easily led
And before you do just what you do
Here' one thought for you to chew
The men who run the business that you sell
They screw you too
36D so what (D) so what
Is that all that you've got?
36D so what (D) so what
Is that all that you've got? You're just another 365 night stand
But you're so handy, you're so handy
You cheapen and you nasty every woman in this land
But you're so handy, you're so handy
Your picture's hanging pretty on the squaddies' walls
You're Steven's, Andy's, you're Ian's, you're Paul's
Your body's through of fondly in the rugby mauls
But you want more
36D so what (D) so what
Is that all that you've got?
36D so what (D) so what
Is that all that you've got?
36D so what (D) so what
Is that all that you've got?
36D so what (D) so what
Is that all that you've got?
He was trying to save his job
He was, he was trying to save his job.