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The world in 1

The eastern hemisphere in 1

Germanic tribes in Europe in 1

Year 1 (I) was a common year starting on Saturday or Sunday (link will display the full calendar) of the Julian calendar (the sources differ, see leap year error for further information) and a common year starting on Saturday of the Proleptic Julian calendar. At the time, it was known as the Year of the Consulship of Caesar and Paullus (or, less frequently, year 754 Ab urbe condita). The denomination 1 for this year has been used since the early medieval period, when the Anno Domini calendar era became the prevalent method in Europe for naming years. It was the first year of the Christian/Common era. The preceding year is 1 BC in the widely used Julian calendar, which does not have a "year zero".

Events[link]

By place[link]

Roman Empire[link]

• Tiberius, under order of Augustus, quells revolts in Germania (1–5).
• Gaius Caesar and Lucius Aemilius Paullus are appointed consuls.
• Gaius Caesar marries Livilla, daughter of Antonia Minor and Nero Claudius Drusus, in an effort to gain prestige.
• Quirinius becomes a chief advisor to Gaius in Armenia. Gnaeus Domitius Ahenobarbus, whose father Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus had served as consul in 16 BC, also serves in the Armenia campaigns.
• Areius Paianeius becomes Archon of Athens.

Asia[link]

• The Yuanshi era of the Chinese Han Dynasty begins.
• Confucius is given his first royal title (posthumous name) of Lord Baochengxun Ni.
• Emperor Ping of Han China begins his reign and Wang Mang is re-instated as regent by Grand Empress Dowager Wang.
• Former regent Dong Xian commits suicide.
• Sapadbizes, Yuezhi prince and King of Kush (Bactria), dies. Heraios succeeds him as king.

Africa[link]

• The Kingdom of Aksum, centered in modern day Ethiopia and Eritrea, is founded (approximate date).
• Amanishakheto, Queen of Kush (Nubia), dies. Her son, Natakamani, becomes King of Kush.

Americas[link]

• Moxos ceases to be a significant religious area in South America (approximate date).
• The Teotihuacan culture in Mesoamerica begins (approximate date).
• The Maya practice sacrifice and mutilation.
• The Olmec II phase of the Olmec civilization begins; San Lorenzo and La Venta grow in popualation.

By topic[link]

Arts and sciences[link]

• The poem Metamorphoses is written by Ovid.
• Livy writes his monumental History of Rome (Ab Urbe Condita).

Religion[link]

• Birth of Jesus, as assigned by Dionysius Exiguus in his anno Domini era according to at least one scholar.^[1][2] However, most scholars think Dionysius placed the birth of Jesus in the previous year, 1 BC.^[1][2] Despite this, most modern scholars do not consider Dionysius' calculations authoritative, placing the event several years earlier (see Chronology of Jesus).^[3]

Births[link]

• Lucius Annaeus Gallio, Roman proconsul (d. 65)
• Quinctilius Varus, son of Publius Quinctilius Varus and Claudia Pulchra (d. c. 27)
• Pallas, Greek Freedman and political advisor (d. 63)

Deaths[link]

• Arshak II of Iberia, king of Iberia of the Nimrodid Dynasty
• Sapadbizes king of the Kushan Empire
• Amanishakheto, Queen of Kush

References[link]

Jimmy Kimmel
Kimmel in May 2007
Birth name	James Christian Kimmel
Born	(1967-11-13) November 13, 1967 (age 44) Brooklyn, New York, USA
Medium	Radio, Television, Film, Stand up
Nationality	American
Years active	1989–present
Genres	Observational comedy, Black comedy, Satire, Deadpan
Subject(s)	American politics, Celebrities, Everyday life, Sex
Influences	David Letterman
Spouse	Gina Kimmel (1988–2002; divorced; 2 children)
Domestic partner(s)	Sarah Silverman (2002–2007; 2008–2009) Molly McNearney (2009–present)
Notable works and roles	Creator and Host of Jimmy Kimmel Live! (ABC) Creator and Co-Host of The Man Show co-host of Win Ben Stein's Money (Comedy Central) co-host of Crank Yankers
Emmy Awards
Daytime Emmy Award for Outstanding Game Show Host: 1999 Win Ben Stein's Money

James Christian "Jimmy" Kimmel (born November 13, 1967) is an American comedian, actor, voice artist and television host. He is the host of Jimmy Kimmel Live!, a late-night talk show that airs on ABC. Prior to that, Kimmel was best known as the co-host of Comedy Central's The Man Show and Win Ben Stein's Money. Kimmel is also a television producer, having produced shows such as Crank Yankers, Sports Show with Norm Macdonald, and The Andy Milonakis Show.

Early life[link]

Kimmel was born in the Mill Basin neighborhood of the New York City borough of Brooklyn,^[1] the eldest of three children of Joann (née Iacono), a homemaker, and James Kimmel, an IBM executive.^[2][3][4] He is Roman Catholic and, as a child, served as an altar boy.^[5][6] Kimmel is of German and Irish descent on his father’s side and Italian descent on his mother’s side.^[7] His uncle, Frank Potenza, appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live! as a regular from 2003 until his death in 2011.^[8]

The family moved to Las Vegas, Nevada, when he was nine years old.^[2] He graduated from Ed W. Clark High School and then attended University of Nevada, Las Vegas for one year before attending Arizona State University for two years without completing a degree.

Career[link]

Radio career[link]

Kimmel began working in the radio industry while in high school, hosting a Sunday night interview show on UNLV's college station KUNV. While attending Arizona State University, he became a popular caller to the KZZP-FM afternoon show hosted by radio personalities Mike Elliott and Kent Voss in Phoenix, Arizona. In 1989, Kimmel landed his first paying job alongside Voss as morning drive co-host of The Me and Him Show at KZOK-FM in Seattle, Washington. Ten months later, Kimmel and Voss were fired by KZOK (for reasons unknown) and were fired again a year later at WRBQ-FM in Tampa, Florida. Kimmel went from Tampa to host his own show at KCMJ in Palm Springs, California, where Kimmel convinced a young Carson Daly to drop out of college and become his intern. After a morning stint at KRQQ In Tucson, Arizona, Kimmel landed at KROQ-FM in Los Angeles. He spent five years as "Jimmy The Sports Guy" for the Kevin and Bean morning show. During this time he met and befriended a struggling comedian named Adam Carolla.^{[citation needed]}

Comedy Central[link]

Kimmel began his television career as the comedic counterpart to Ben Stein on the game show Win Ben Stein's Money, which began airing on Comedy Central in 1997. His quick wit and loutish everyman personality were counterpoints to Stein's monotone performing style and patrician demeanor. The combination earned the pair an Emmy award for Best Game Show Host.^{[citation needed]}

In 1999, during his time with Win Ben Stein's Money, Kimmel was also co-host with Adam Carolla and co-creator (with Daniel Kellison) of Comedy Central's The Man Show. Kimmel permanently left Win Ben Stein's Money in 2001, replaced by comedian Nancy Pimental, who was eventually replaced by Kimmel's cousin Sal Iacono. The Man Show's success allowed Kimmel, Carolla and Kellison to create and produce, under the banner Jackhole Industries, Crank Yankers for Comedy Central (on which Kimmel plays the characters "Elmer Higgins", "Terrence Catheter", "The Nudge", "Karl Malone" and himself), and later The Andy Milonakis Show for MTV2. Kimmel also produced and co-wrote the feature film Windy City Heat, which won the Comedia Award for Best Film at the Montreal Comedy Festival.^{[citation needed]}

[edit] Jimmy Kimmel Live!

In January 2003, Kimmel permanently left The Man Show to host his own late-night talk show, Jimmy Kimmel Live! on ABC. Jimmy Kimmel Live was briefly also broadcast on Irish digital TV channel 3e.^[9] In the April 2007 issue of Stuffmagazine.com, Kimmel was named the "biggest badass on TV". Kimmel said it was an honor but clearly a mistake.

Since the show's second season, it has not actually been broadcast live. This is due to an incident during the 2004 NBA Finals in Detroit, when Kimmel appeared on ABC's halftime show to make an on-air plug for his show. He suggested that if the Detroit Pistons defeated the Los Angeles Lakers, "they're gonna burn the city of Detroit down ... and it's not worth it." Officials with Detroit's ABC affiliate, WXYZ-TV, immediately announced that night's show would not air on the station. Hours later, ABC officials pulled that night's show from the entire network. Kimmel later apologized.^[10] The incident led ABC officials to force Kimmel to tape his show an hour before it airs in most of the country to check for offending content.^[11]

Kimmel usually ends his show with, "My apologies to Matt Damon, we ran out of time." When Matt Damon did actually appear on the show to be interviewed, he walked in and sat down only to be told just a few seconds later by Kimmel, "Sorry, but once again we are completely out of time." Damon seemed to become angry.^{[citation needed]}

In February 2008 Kimmel showed a mock music video with a panoply of stars called, "I'm Fucking Ben Affleck",^[12] as "revenge" after his then-girlfriend Sarah Silverman and Matt Damon recorded a similar video, "I'm Fucking Matt Damon". Silverman's video originally aired on Jimmy Kimmel Live!, and became an "instant YouTube sensation."^[13] Kimmel's "revenge" video featured himself, Ben Affleck, and a large lineup of stars, particularly in scenes spoofing the 1985 "We Are the World" video: Brad Pitt, Don Cheadle, Cameron Diaz, Robin Williams, Harrison Ford, Dominic Monaghan, Benji Madden and Joel Madden from Good Charlotte, Lance Bass, Macy Gray, Josh Groban, Huey Lewis, Perry Farrell, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Pete Wentz, Meat Loaf, Rebecca Romijn, Christina Applegate, Dom Joly, Mike Shinoda, Lauren Conrad, and Joan Jett, among others. After this Jimmy's sidekick, Guillermo, appeared in a spoof of The Bourne Ultimatum, which starred Damon. He was then chased down by Damon as Matt cursed about Kimmel being behind all this. Guillermo also stopped Damon on the red carpet one time and before he could finish the interview he said, "Sorry we are out of time." The most recent encounter was titled "The Handsome Men's Club" which featured Kimmel, along with the "Handsome Men", who were: Matthew McConaughey, Rob Lowe, Lenny Kravitz, Patrick Dempsey, Sting, Keith Urban, John Krasinski, Ethan Hawke, Josh Hartnett, Tony Romo, Ted Danson, Taye Diggs, Gilles Marini, and Ben Affleck, speaking about being handsome and all the jobs that come with it. At the end of the skit Kimmel has a door slammed in his face by none other than Matt Damon, stating that they had run out of time and then Damon continues with a sinister laugh. Jennifer Garner also makes a surprise appearance.

As a tradition, celebrities voted off Dancing with the Stars appear on Jimmy Kimmel Live!, causing Kimmel to describe himself as "the three-headed dog the stars must pass on their way to No-Dancing Hell".^[14] In the 2008 season of his show, Kimmel started another tradition of ceremonially burning the dancers' shoes after they were voted off DWTS.^{[citation needed]}

Other television work[link]

In Spring 1996, Kimmel appeared as "Jimmy the Fox Guy" in promos on the Fox network.

Kimmel's other television work included being the on-air football prognosticator for Fox NFL Sunday for four years. He has had numerous appearances on other talk shows including, but not limited to, Live with Regis and Kelly, The Howard Stern Show, The Ellen DeGeneres Show, and The Late Show with David Letterman. Kimmel has appeared on The Late Show five times, most recently in 2010. Kimmel served as roastmaster for the New York Friars' Club Roast of Hugh Hefner and Comedy Central Roasts of Pamela Anderson. He has appeared on ABC's Dancing with the Stars, along with his parking lot security guard Guillermo.

In August 2006, ABC announced that Jimmy Kimmel would be the host of their new game show Set for Life.^[15] The show debuted on July 20, 2007. On April 6, 2007, Kimmel filled in for Larry King on Larry King Live. That particular show was about the paparazzi and Kimmel reproached Emily Gould, an editor from Gawker.com, about the web site's alleged stalking of celebrities. On July 8, 2007, Kimmel managed the National League in the 2007 Taco Bell All-Star Legends and Celebrity Softball Game in San Francisco. He played in the game in 2004 and 2006 (Houston and Pittsburgh). On July 11, 2007, Kimmel along with basketball player LeBron James, hosted the 2007 ESPY Awards. The show aired on ESPN on July 15, 2007. Kimmel hosted the American Music Awards on ABC four times, in 2004, 2006, 2007, and 2008.

Kimmel guest hosted Live with Regis and Kelly during the week of October 22, 2007 – October 26, 2007, commuting every day between New York and Los Angeles. In the process, he broke the Guinness Book of World Records for the longest distance (22,406 miles (36,059 km)) travelled in one work week.^[16]

Kimmel has performed in several animated films, often voicing dogs. His voice appeared in Garfield and Road Trip, and he portrayed Death's Dog in the Family Guy episode "Mr. Saturday Knight"; Family Guy creator Seth McFarlane later presented Kimmel with a figurine of his character on Jimmy Kimmel Live!. Kimmel also did voice work for Robot Chicken. Kimmel's cousin "Sal" (Sal Iacono) has accepted and won a wrestling match with WWE superstar Santino Marella. On January 14, 2010, in the midst of the 2010 Tonight Show host and time slot conflict, Kimmel was the special guest of Jay Leno on The Jay Leno Show's "10 at 10" segment. Kimmel derided Leno in front of a live studio audience for taking back the 11:35 pm time slot from Conan O'Brien, and repeatedly insulted Leno. He ended the segment with a plea that Leno "leave our shows alone," as Kimmel and O'Brien had "kids" while Leno only had "cars".^[17]

Kimmel also made a brief appearance in the TV commercial "There's A Soldier In All Of Us" promoting the 2010 video game Call of Duty: Black Ops, along with Kobe Bryant. He is seen taking cover from bullets, then firing an RPG-7 with the words PROUD N00b on it, with the aftershock from the weapon sending him tumbling backwards.

He has been asked to host the 64th Primetime Emmy Awards which will air on September 23, 2012, marking his first time hosting the event.^[18]

Kimmel hosted the White House Correspondents' Dinner in Washington, D.C. on April 28, 2012.

Personal life[link]

Kimmel and his then girlfriend, Gina, married in June 1988. They have two children, Katie (born 1991) and Kevin (born 1993). The marriage ended in separation in early 2002. Kimmel then dated comedian Sarah Silverman for five years, splitting with her in March 2009.^[19] He started dating current girlfriend, Molly McNearney, in October 2009. McNearney is also a co-head writer for Jimmy Kimmel Live.^[20]

Kimmel plays the bass clarinet. He got a chance to showcase his talent during a July 20, 2008, concert in Costa Mesa, California, featuring the Mighty Mighty Bosstones, when he took the stage and played bass clarinet on their hit song "The Impression That I Get."^[21]

Kimmel has spoken publicly of being a narcoleptic.^[22]

Kimmel co-founded the annual LA Feast of San Gennaro,^[23] which celebrates Italian culture through entertainment, music and cuisine. The festival also honors outstanding members of the Los Angeles community and raises funds to aid needy children and families in the city. He hosted Los Angeles' eighth annual feast of San Gennaro from September 28 to 30, 2009.^[24] Kimmel served as Master of Ceremonies for the National Italian American Foundation's 34th Anniversary Gala in Washington, D.C., on October 24, 2009.

Awards[link]

References[link]

External links[link]

This article's use of external links may not follow Wikipedia's policies or guidelines. Please improve this article by removing excessive or inappropriate external links, and converting useful links where appropriate into footnote references. (October 2011)

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• Jimmy is Maxim's No. 2 Dudeliest Dude 2007

This article has multiple issues. Please help improve it or discuss these issues on the talk page. It needs additional citations for verification. Tagged since October 2010. It may be written from a fan's point of view, rather than a neutral point of view. Tagged since October 2011. Its plot summary may be too long or excessively detailed. Tagged since October 2011.

Salad Fingers is a post-apocalyptic psychological horror Flash cartoon series originally created by British cartoonist David Firth in July 2004^[2]. It gained rapid internet popularity in 2005. The San Francisco Chronicle ranked it in the "Top 10" pop culture phenomena for that year.^[3]

The cartoon revolves around the eponymous Salad Fingers, a thin, green, mentally troubled man who inhabits a desolate world. Already a well-known Flash animation series available on the internet, Salad Fingers premiered in Australia at the 2007 Sydney Underground Film Festival at the Factory Theatre. The first seven episodes were shown back to back, along with a variety of other animated short films, during the "Re-Animation" session.^[4]

Music[link]

The eerie music featured in the background is the tune "Beware the Friendly Stranger" by Boards of Canada. The dark music in the soundtrack that appears when Salad Fingers is scared is actually Firth playing the guitar, slowed down and reversed. Other music included in Salad Fingers episodes includes work credited to Brian Eno, Sigur Rós, Aphex Twin and Lustmord.^[1] David Firth frequently inserts references to Aphex Twin in his flash cartoons; for example, the Aphex Twin logo can be found on the telephone in Salad Fingers episode five. Firth has also cited the works of David Lynch, South Park, Tim Burton, The League of Gentlemen, and Chris Morris as sources of inspiration.^[1][5]

Characters[link]

Salad Fingers 

The main character is a bald hunchbacked humanoid with light-green skin, and no visible nose or ears, who speaks with a Northern English accent. His long, strangely-shaped fingers are his most notable feature. They were the focus of the first episode of the series, where Salad Fingers is shown getting pleasure from rubbing various objects, particularly rusty metallic ones such as spoons, taps and a kettle. Salad Fingers is unable or purposely unwilling to distinguish between living beings and inanimate objects, and is frequently found talking to various inert articles (notably his finger puppets and in two cases a human corpse). Furthermore, he often assigns such objects proper names and appears to believe that they can communicate with him directly, sometimes voicing their perceived thoughts himself. He lives alone in a small shack (containing, among other things, an oven, bedroom, safety cupboard, radio, phone, and table) with the number 22 on the door. Salad Fingers appears to be somewhat masochistic, as he can be seen taking pleasure from impaling his finger on a hook, rubbing nettles on himself, or stepping onto a beartrap. His talents include playing the flute and speaking French. He also seems able to use Morse Code, as shown in episode nine. It is implied that the desolate world Salad Fingers inhabits is the aftermath of the "Great War", a conflict which is referenced several times in the more recent episodes. He is quite articulate, however he often spouts peculiar English sayings and phrases in situations where they do not fit.

Salad Fingers takes up various habits, including a regular measurement of the distance between his house and a tree, tasting of the dirt ("floor-sugar"), and listening to his radio. Sometimes he also displays a raspy asthmatic-like breathing when he becomes mesmerized at something or experiences extreme pleasure. The name "Salad Fingers" was invented by Firth's co-writer, Christian 'Crust' Pickup, who described Firth as having salad fingers while playing the guitar.^[1]

Hubert Cumberdale, Marjory Stewart-Baxter and Jeremy Fisher 

Finger puppets who appear variously in episodes two, three, five, six, seven, eight and nine. They often appear in Salad Fingers' fantasies as life sized beings. Jeremy Fisher is thought to be named after the Beatrix Potter book The Tale of Mr. Jeremy Fisher.^[6] In episode 2, Salad Fingers tastes these puppets, claiming Hubert Cumberdale tastes like "soot and poo" and Marjory Stewart-Baxter tastes like "sunshine dust". Jeremy Fisher is not tasted, which is revisited in a later episode. Salad Fingers has also referred to Jeremy Fisher as having been out fighting "The Great War". In episode five, Hubert Cumberdale is temporarily renamed Barbara Logan-Price. In episode six, Salad Fingers eats Jeremy Fisher in a moment of forgetfulness, and the puppet has not appeared or been mentioned since, indicating that he was killed off. In episode eight, Salad Fingers calls Cumberdale a "dirty immigrant" after dropping him in a chamber pot. In episode nine, Salad Fingers talks to Stewart-Baxter as if she is his partner and the mother of their 'child', Yvonne.

Harry/Milford Cubicle 

Appearing in episode three, Cubicle is an aggressive, armless human-like being who wears an apron identifying him as being employed at a "BBQ". Though his nametag reads "Harry" and indicates that he is "Happy to help", Salad Fingers calls him Milford Cubicle. He bleeds to death after repeatedly banging his head on Salad Fingers' door. Salad Fingers then finds him and drags him inside his house and hangs him on a meat hook, believing him to be alive and conscious.

Bordois 

Appearing in episode four, Bordois is a woodlouse which Salad Fingers accidentally kills by attempting to pet her. He refers to her as "little sister". Once he squishes her, he says "You've gone flat, little sister. And you're all gooey. I shalln't play with you again until you've had a wash."

Aunty Bainbridge 

Appearing in episode one and episode nine, is a yellow bug-eyed creature who owns many rusty objects (which Salad Fingers strokes) and a small house. While Salad Fingers calls it Aunty Bainbridge in the ninth episode, he also calls it a "young child" in the first, intimating that he does not, in fact, know it at all. This is further evidenced when she backs away from Salad Fingers when he tries to hug her in the ninth episode. It is difficult to tell whether this is a person and what its sex is.

Mable

Appearing in episode five, Mable is a scuffed, grubby, scarred young girl who goes to a picnic with Salad Fingers. She is the first character other than Salad Fingers who can communicate in English, and she is the first person other than Salad Fingers to actually speak— something that seems to shock and dismay Salad Fingers. When she sees Salad Fingers looking at her in dismay she says "What's wrong, Mr. Fingers? Do you not like my mouth-words?" While this is going on, she is seen with her eyes gouged out.

Kenneth 

A decomposing corpse found in a hole (one which was apparently dug up completely by Salad Fingers' finger puppet, Hubert Cumberdale) near Salad Fingers' house in episode seven; Salad Fingers claims that it is his younger brother, "back from the Great War," and invites him in for dinner before eventually putting him back while singing "We'll meet again".

Roger 

Appearing in episode eight, Roger is a broken radio that speaks in a robotic, aggressive manner (much like a Dalek) and scares Salad Fingers into the cupboard twice. Roger, according to Salad Fingers, must be given 'sustenance' (in the form of small brown pellets which appear to be beans or marbles).

Horace Horsecollar 

A toy horse with which Salad Fingers indulges his senses.

Penny Pigtails 

A character Salad Fingers' imagination created while hiding from Roger in the safety cupboard. She is nothing but Salad Fingers' hand 'walking' across the ledge. Salad Fingers imagines that she is denied raspberry jam by a market trader, who bases his actions on the grounds that her legs are "too long" and "made of cotton", which upsets him greatly.

Mr. Branches

A tree 21 yards from the house. Salad Fingers measures this distance, and then comments to the tree that it's "barely shuffled an inch all week"—implying that it moves (or, at least, he perceives it to) and that he regularly keeps track of this measurement. In episode nine, Salad Fingers bites one of its branches, causing it to cry in pain (with Salad Fingers imagining it with a face). It begs Salad Fingers to be let inside in the voice of a young boy/young girl, but is told that it has to "grow out of [its] branches" first. Mr. Branches then proceeds to tightly wrap its branch around Salad Fingers' stomach - although, it is implied that this entire scene was a fantasy, and not reality.

Yvonne 

A black slimy object that Salad Fingers 'gives birth to' out of the front of his stomach in episode nine. The object may be tumor that has caused Salad Fingers sickness as he feels better after 'giving birth' to it. It is implied that it is his long-awaited child, saying that he 'yearned for [the] day' it would arrive. He cradles it and reads it a poem, during which he names it "Baby Yvonne" and tells it that it has its mother's eyes, when in fact it has no human features at all. Unhappy with it, Salad Fingers decides to give it to Aunty Bainbridge, but ends up forgetting that it's his daughter. He then proceeds to clean Aunty Bainbridge's window, believing it to be a sponge.

Salad Fingers also ramblingly mentions he has an "old pal" named "Charlie" as well as a daughter, though neither of them are seen. It could be that neither of these characters are real or may have died in the supposed "Great War".

Unnamed Characters 

• A young, relatively normal looking child, wearing a varsity-type jacket whom Salad Fingers appears to have accidentally cooked in an oven in episode two.
• A big-eyed, grotesque, small mutant creature who falls in love with Salad Fingers in episode four. This character was originally created by Jimi Hollis, who refers to it as the "bug-eyed kid".^{[citation needed]} It uses a bear trap and a grubby tap to capture Salad Fingers, then cages him and proposes with a ring topped with a human molar.

Episodes[link]

Each episode is 1–6 minutes long (with the exception of the ninth running for more than eight); the narratives themselves are quite oneiric, and each one only follows a semblance of a story.

Episode 1 - Spoons[link]

• Release date: July 1, 2004
• Credits: Drawn, animated and voiced by David Firth. Written by David Firth and Christian "Crust" Pickup. Music by Boards of Canada (in particular, the song "Beware the Friendly Stranger").

This episode introduces us to Salad Fingers and his love of touching rusty spoons. He explains how touching any form of rust—including spoons, a door bell panel, and a kettle—stimulates him ("The feeling of rust against my salad fingers is almost orgasmic"), and that he holds a particular love of spoons. Salad Fingers walks to the house of a strange young boy to see if he has any rusty spoons; the child screeches two times, at which point Salad Fingers leaves, after asking to caress a rusty kettle that is on a table beside him.

Episode 2 - Friends[link]

• Release date: July 15, 2004
• Credits: Drawn, animated and voiced by David Firth. Written by David Firth and Christian "Crust" Pickup. Music by Boards of Canada and David Firth.

Salad Fingers has a get-together with his "friends"—finger puppets—whom Salad Fingers introduces as Hubert Cumberdale, Marjory Stewart-Baxter and Jeremy Fisher. He appears to believe that his "friends" are real, living beings. Wondering what his friends taste like, he briefly inserts them into his mouth, exclaiming that Marjory Stewart-Baxter tastes like "sunshine dust", while Hubert Cumberdale tastes like "soot and poo". Salad Fingers then tells them that he has a fish cooking in the oven and speaks a nonsensical phrase in French: "Alors, Nabilah, Comment t'appelles-tu? Qu'est-ce qu'il y a?" This roughly translates to: "So, Nabilah, What's your name? What's the matter?". ( Nabilah is a popular first name in Algeria ). In the next scene, a frightened child responds to Salad Fingers's call for help. Salad Fingers cannot reach the fish cooking in his oven and asks the child to get it for him. As the child reaches into the oven, Salad Fingers sees a rusty nail jutting out of the wall and reaches to caress it, causing the oven door to close with the child still inside. Salad Fingers then impales his finger on the spike and begins bleeding, blissfully saying "I like it when the red water comes out."

Salad Fingers turns pale and passes out. Apparently dreaming, Salad Fingers walks through a large meat locker singing Somewhere Over the Rainbow to himself. While inside, he meets a full-size Hubert Cumberdale, who screams distorted electronic noises at him. When Salad Fingers awakens he sits in a pool of his own blood. The oven smokes as Salad Fingers states, "That fish smells about done," ignoring or forgetting the fact that it was the smoke from the "cooked alive" child that he'd forgotten about when 'dozing off'.

Episode 3 - Nettles[link]

• Release date: August 1, 2004
• Credits: Drawn, animated and voiced by David Firth. Written by David Firth and Christian "Crust" Pickup. Music by Boards of Canada, Brian Eno and a yoga flute.

Salad Fingers is playing with nettles and has irritated blisters all over his hands. He then comes across an empty perambulator, which he refers to as a "nettle carrier" and then leaves with it. A deformed armless man wearing an apron labeled "BBQ" appears and chases after Salad Fingers, screaming and babbling unintelligibly. Salad Fingers is sitting on the floor at his home and brushing the nettle over his nipple (while appearing to have an orgasm), which makes him lactate, and says "It seems... Nettles... have made the milk... drop out... from inside my teat!", when the armless man runs to Salad Fingers' house and begins to bang his head on the door. Salad Fingers daydreams of "happy times" (in which he and a life-sized version of the Hubert Cumberdale puppet are getting hair-dried). Eventually, Salad Fingers comes outside and finds the man dead on the floor, his head bloodied. He names the man "Milford Cubicle", despite the man's name tag reading "Harry". Believing that the man is alive, Salad Fingers drags "Milford" inside and hangs him on a meat hook on the wall. Salad fingers then plays the flute, and offers "Milford" a "warm glass of milk", which presumably is the milk that came out of his teat when he milked himself using the nettles.

Episode 4 - Cage[link]

• Release date: August 20, 2004
• Credits: Drawn, animated and voiced by David Firth. Written by David Firth, Christian "Crust" Pickup, and Jimi Mwng. Additional character design by Jimi Mwng. Music by Boards of Canada, Aphex Twin and David Firth.

Salad Fingers wears a beret and declares that he is going to try and find France. However, he is frightened by a mutated boy with disproportionately large eyeballs that has been "watching him for a while". Salad Fingers becomes uncomfortable with the child's proximity and begins to leave. The boy, who speaks only in growls and grunts, approaches Salad Fingers, having apparently fallen in love with him. Salad Fingers holds out his hand to stop the boy coming closer, but the boy licks his hand, much to Salad Fingers' disgust. Inside his house, Salad Fingers sees a gray woodlouse coming out from a hole in the wall. He addresses the bug as "Bordois" and his "little sister." After asking what "she" has been collecting, he acts as though the bug gives him a response. Salad Fingers announces his enjoyment in the bug's body and goes to touch it, accidentally crushing it and looking at it in curiosity which turns to disgust. He then says to Bordois that she's "gone flat" and become "all gooey", and that he "shalln't play with [her] again, until [she's] had a wash." Salad Fingers then hears a knock on the door, which he opens to find a "grubby tap" attached to a string on the ground. Salad Fingers becomes excited about this "gift" and begins to fantasize about taps. He attempts to fetch it, but it is drawn away on the string as bait. He is caught in a bear trap which causes him to lose blood and consciousness while savoring the desanguination blissfully. He wakes up in a cage, and enjoys rubbing the rusted bars. The grotesque boy approaches the cage and holds out a ring (on which is mounted a human tooth) as if proposing marriage. Salad Fingers becomes distraught, states "I don't like this game" and announces that he is "going home now". This angers the boy, who makes an unintelligible noise that sounds like "You're my own now." A rope appears, hanging down from the ceiling, which Salad Fingers pulls to draw down a curtain. When the curtain lifts, the boy, seeing that Salad Fingers has disappeared, begins to cry. The episode closes with Salad Fingers, wearing his beret, flying away gleefully on a giant tap, presumably to France.

Episode 5 - Picnic[link]

• Release date: November 25, 2004
• Credits: Designed, animated, voiced and written by David Firth. Additional writing and the voice of Mable by Christian "Crust" Pickup (who also plays MC Devvo). Music by Boards of Canada, Aphex Twin and David Firth.

Salad Fingers talks to an apparently broken and disconnected phone, asking the operator to connect him to his "old pal Charlie" so he can invite him to a picnic, but only garbled noises are heard. Whilst describing the picnic fare, Salad Fingers rubs his stomach in hunger, then claims to have been rudely disconnected. Hubert Cumberdale is on one of the fingers on Salad Fingers' other hand, but he seems dismayed to see him. Instead of referring to him as Hubert, he calls him "Barbara Logan-Price", and gives him a "friend-hat", which is a miniature captain's hat.

In the next scene, Salad Fingers wears a bridal train and talks to himself in a mirror, declaring "You look so beautiful". He then goes outside for his picnic, which is attended by a strange crow (which appears in other David Firth cartoons) that makes garbled noises and a little girl with scars on her face, a filthy, stained pink dress and orange hair. Salad Fingers asks the orange-haired girl a question and answers it for her (as he seems to think that only he can speak), ending with "replied Mable". Salad Fingers calls her his new playmate and compliments her on her dress, and as he does this, Marjory Stewart-Baxter is seen in the window, jealous. Salad Fingers offers "Mable" some "Pease Pudding", which he feeds to her with a dirty, rusty spoon. The crow then swoops down and steals Salad Fingers's spoon.

The little girl giggles and says that the crow must like spoons too. The shock of the girl speaking to him, thus meaning the girl is indeed real, not a figment of his imagination, drives Salad Fingers to temporary insanity, hallucinating, hearing screeching, distorted noises, and seeing the girl (complete with empty eye sockets) saying, "What's wrong, Mr. Fingers? Do you not like my mouth-words? Naughty mouth!"

Episode 6 - Present[link]

• Release date: July 24, 2005
• Credits: Drawn, animated and voiced by David Firth. Written by David Firth and Christian "Crust" Pickup. Music by Boards of Canada, Chris Gladwin and David Firth.

The episode begins with Salad Fingers walking about his house. He sees Hubert Cumberdale on top of a cupboard, and instructs the finger puppet to come down at once. Hubert turns into a black, viscous, and apparently caustic fluid and oozes down the cupboard. A silhouette is then seen walking through the house and Salad Fingers asks if somebody is there; it is, in fact, the Jeremy Fisher puppet on his finger. Salad Fingers remarks that he thought Jeremy was out "fighting the Great War". Jeremy Fisher/Salad Fingers responds in garbled gibberish which Fingers can't understand, musing that Fisher seems "to have adopted a strange dialect."

Another perspective shot shows Jeremy Fisher (now with arms) handing Salad Fingers a toy horse. Salad Fingers is pleased with the present, and remarks on the pleasing texture. He then eats Jeremy Fisher and immediately forgets, wondering "Where have you gotten to?" He begins to play with the toy horse while making "neigh" sounds, walks outside with it, and goes to an abandoned toilet with which he initiates a conversation. Suddenly, the mood changes and the music becomes sinister; he grows concerned and he begins defending himself, saying "You've got the wrong bloke, squire." He then flushes the toilet to "wash those bad thoughts away".

Upon arriving home, Salad Fingers gasps and sees himself sitting inside. The Salad Fingers inside appears to be hallucinating, seeing the "outside" Salad Fingers as a life-size Jeremy Fisher. The "inside" Salad Fingers speaks in a slightly different voice and also has rougher text showing what he is saying. The conversation starts off just like the earlier one with Jeremy Fisher, but goes on to include accusations that Jeremy Fisher has been "tailgating [his] daughter with aspirations of deflowering her rose". This appears to be the other "side" of the conversation Salad Fingers had into the toilet.

The inside Salad Fingers is now seen with the Jeremy Fisher finger puppet. Fisher never responds verbally, but at one point unfastens a clasp over his mouth from which green ooze bubbles and drips to the floor. Salad Fingers caresses Fisher's hair and remarks that he never did "sample the delights of your flavor", a reference to when he tasted his other two "friends" Hubert Cumberdale and Marjory Stewart-Baxter in episode two. He begins putting the finger-puppet in his mouth, but the scene quickly changes to a bloody scene of the "inside" Salad Fingers eating the "outside" Salad Fingers' head/brains, suggesting that Salad Fingers is actually experiencing the personalities he invents. The episode ends with an external shot of the house panning back to reveal the toilet.

Episode 7 - Shore Leave[link]

• Release date: January 28, 2006
• Credits: Drawn, animated and voiced by David Firth. Written by David Firth, Christian Pickup and Jimi Mwng. Music by Boards of Canada, Chris Gladwin and Brian Eno.

As Salad Fingers is digging holes outside with his finger puppets, occasionally tasting the sand (which he calls "floor sugar"), he finds the decomposing torso of an old corpse. Salad Fingers immediately "recognizes" the cadaver as "Kenneth," his "younger brother" who is back from the previously mentioned "Great War" on shore leave. Salad Fingers pulls the gruesome, dismembered corpse out of the hole, saying it was rude of him to leave for "the Great War" without him, but promises to draw him a hot bath.

The next scene shows Salad Fingers turning a cog which pulls a clothesline, drawing Kenneth out of a wardrobe, now dressed in a white dinner jacket. He starts to talk about life with the women of the great war. Salad Fingers has prepared a dinner of sand for his guest, saying "I—hope you like... SAND". At one point Kenneth slumps forward, prompting Salad Fingers to suppose that he's sleepy and props Kenneth up by inserting a "wooden dent-rail" into his empty socket. Salad Fingers tells Kenneth of his life, keeping busy with "every shift I can... [and] sing[ing] at all the functions". There is a flashback in which Salad Fingers measures the distance from his door to a tree named "Mr. Branches" with a clickwheel and subsequently teases it for its slow movement.

It is now evening, and Salad Fingers is with Kenneth outside near the same hole he found him in. He cries over the fact that Kenneth has to go "back to the ghastly trenches". He salutes Kenneth and sings "We'll Meet Again" for him, after exclaiming, somewhat futilely, "I only ask that our creator return you unspoilt from the cruel hand of war". He then kicks Kenneth back into the hole. A dream-like sequence follows in which Salad Fingers sings the same song, in a white dress, on a stage in front of an audience of a theatre. After singing a few strains, he complains to the pianist - who is shown as the silhouette of a marionette, with strings attached - that the key is wrong, walks off the stage, and the screen fades to black.

In this episode Salad Fingers mentions the Scottish town of Cowdenbeath, indicating he is aware of real-life places.

Episode 8 - Cupboard[link]

• Release date: September 22, 2007
• Credits: Drawn, animated and voiced by David Firth. Written by David Firth and Christian "Crust" Pickup. Music by Boards of Canada, Lustmord and dyzv0r

Salad Fingers is sitting in his armchair, trying to tune his radio which he calls "Roger." If he is lucky, Salad Fingers says he may chance upon a broadcast from "Croxley", which so happens to be a small town in Hertfordshire. "Croxleyheath" also occurs in Shore Leave. After feeding Roger his "sustenance" (which seems to be marbles, peas, rocks or beans), it begins to emit a strange, piercing frequency. A gurgling sound comes from Salad Fingers' own stomach, insinuating upset in reaction to the "unpleasant frequencies" coming from the radio. He decides to wait out the tormenting event in his "safety cupboard."

When in the cupboard, Salad Fingers begins to converse with his hands. One hand enacts "Penny Pigtails," the other a market vendor. The "market vendor" refuses to sell raspberry jam to "Penny Pigtails" on the grounds that her legs are "made of cotton" and "far too long" (an event that Salad Fingers finds most upsetting). After Salad Fingers cries for a bit, "Penny Pigtails" discovers a long strand of hair, which Salad Fingers rubs over his eyeball, apparently causing him great pleasure although it makes his eye red and inflamed. After emerging from the cupboard, he tapes the hair to a wall with four other hairs of assorted colours that he has collected. Salad Fingers speaks to the hairs, calling them "beautiple" and "a gay little quintette" Next, he goes to bed with the Hubert Cumberdale puppet. Before going to sleep, Salad Fingers sings "Three in the Bed," and instructs Hubert Cumberdale to "roll over"; as a result, the finger puppet is sent off the bed into a bowl of a filthy, brown substance (likely a chamberpot). Salad Fingers orders Hubert Cumberdale to "scrub that muck off at once!" as he doesn't want any "dirty immigrants" in his house.

Later that night, the radio begins to emit strange sounds again and wakes up Salad Fingers. Salad Fingers approaches it warily and threatens Roger with expulsion from the house. The radio replies it was rude of Salad to take his hair. The radio speaks in a static voice, instructing Salad Fingers to return its hair, as well as to tidy the house. Salad Fingers declares that he "shan't", on the grounds that it isn't "his turn" and that it is an extremely unpleasant job. The radio continues to torment him, causing him to eat all of the hairs from his quintet, tape and all, and return to his cupboard in tears.

Episode 9 - Letter[link]

• Release date: May 26, 2011 ^[7]
• Credits: Drawn, animated and voiced by David Firth. Written by David Firth. Music by Markus Fjellström.

Salad Fingers is holding a piece of torn newspaper, imagining it is a letter from the Great War (presumably from his "brother") and reading it aloud to himself. As he reads, a tentacle-like branch snakes in through the door to Salad Fingers' bedroom. Salad Fingers picks up the branch and bites off the tip, resulting in something sobbing "Daddy, that really hurt!" off-screen. Salad Fingers goes to the window and sees the branch-tentacle being retracted into the tree outside. He walks out to the tree, calling it "Mr. Branches" and has a conversation with it about its injury, apparently forgetting it was he himself that bit it. The tree cries, calling Salad Fingers "Daddy" and asking to be let inside, but Salad Fingers refuses until it "grows out of those branches". The tree wraps a branch around Salad Fingers' waist.

Salad Fingers wakes up in his room, very pale and his stomach growling. Salad Fingers worries that he may be dying and taps out an S.O.S. on the metal fire grate beside him. Suddenly a strange gooey black mass bursts out of his stomach, causing him to pass out.

When he wakes up, he is overjoyed, and believes he has given birth to a daughter whom he names Yvonne. Sitting in a wheelchair and appearing to feel better despite his wound, he pulls back the skin of one finger revealing a strange solid tip and dips it in ink to write a "letter" consisting only of scribbles, saying he cannot attend the Great War as he is still feeling "under the weather". He keeps Yvonne (which appears to be a bundle of newspapers) down in a pit and tells her off for not doing her exercises.

The scene then switches back to Salad Fingers lying on the floor, pale, with his stomach still wounded, and seems to be pumping air into his chest, suggesting that he's relapsed into illness. He tells Yvonne he may be too ill to care for her and speaks for her as he usually does for his other inanimate characters, saying "That's a shame; you were doing a first-rate job". He then taps another message on the fire grate, requesting a home for "a meddlesome child".

Salad Fingers is then outside in his wheelchair with Yvonne in a bucket, telling her that "good old Aunty Bainbridge" has agreed to look after her. He arrives at the house from episode 1, where the small, yellow-skinned human-like creature with big eyes lives. Salad Fingers refers to the creature as "Aunty Bainbridge" and asks for a hug, but the creature takes a step back and makes an odd wailing noise. Salad Fingers recalls some memories of Aunty Bainbridge "all in faded days".

Salad Fingers then appears to forget his reason for visiting, and, noticing the bucket of black ooze on his lap, claims he has come to clean the windows. Using the bundle/Yvonne, he smears the windows with black ooze as the yellow creature looks on. Job done, Salad Fingers begins to eat a sandwich, while Aunty Bainbridge returns to the house and the black ooze is left on the ground.

See also[link]

• Newgrounds
• David Firth
• Men from Up the Stairs
• Adobe Flash

References[link]

External links[link]

• Salad Fingers at the Internet Movie Database
• SaladFingers.co.uk David Firth's Official Salad Fingers Work

Ray William Johnson (born 1981-1982) is an American actor and comedian best known for his YouTube series Equals Three, in which he provides commentary on viral videos.^[2][3] Many of the videos featured on Equals Three are noted to have received an additional boost of popularity.^{[4][5][6][7][8]} As of May 2012, the RayWilliamJohnson channel is the most subscribed channel on YouTube,^[9][10] with over 5.4 million subscribers, and over 1.7 billion video views.^[11] In February 2011, one industry publication noted that Johnson currently had six of the top twenty most watched videos of the month.^[12]

Background[link]

Johnson graduated from Norman North High School in Oklahoma, in 1999,^[1] however Johnson's Youtube profile states he was born and raised in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.^[13] In an interview with Wall Street Journal, Johnson says that he studied at Columbia University, as a history major,^[1] while his profile adds he was preparing to study law.^[13] While at Columbia, Johnson started his first formatted show, Equals Three, as a way to combine two popular video styles, watching viral videos and video bloggers.^[2]

Current projects[link]

[edit] Equals Three

Equals Three
Title card
Genre	Comedy
Created by	Ray William Johnson
Written by	Phil Haney Steve Greene Marvin Silbermintz Erin Schmalfeld Ilana Cohn Brandon Perna "Big Rob" Lance Patrick Ray William Johnson
Presented by	Ray William Johnson
Country of origin	United States
Language(s)	English Spanish (Igual a Tres)
No. of episodes	265 (as of March 3, 2012)
Production
Executive producer(s)	Ray William Johnson
Producer(s)	Erin Schmalfeld
Editor(s)	Brandon Perna
Broadcast
Original channel	RayWilliamJohnson
Original run	2008 (2008) – present
Chronology
Related shows	Breaking Your Favorite Martian Igual a Tres YFMTS
External links
Website

In Equals Three (stylized as "=3"), Ray William Johnson reviews, criticizes, and adds commentary to some of the internet's latest viral videos.^[3] Equals Three episodes are usually uploaded to his channel every Tuesday and Friday. In these episodes, Johnson interacts with his audience by posting a viewer-submitted "comment question of the day", then features five of his favorite comments in the preceding episode. Equals Three is on the most subscribed channel on YouTube, having over 5 million subscribers to date, and has been recognized by Guinness World Records.^[2][14][15] Because of his popularity, Equals Three episodes can consistently obtain several million views within a week. Johnson has been able to leverage his popularity to secure several celebrity guests on Equals Three, including Robin Williams,^[16] Gabriel Iglesias,^[17] Kal Penn,^[18] Margaret Cho,^[19] Bobby Lee,^[20] T.J. Miller,^[21] Garfunkel and Oates,^[22] John Cho,^[18] Jason Biggs,^[23] Andy Milonakis^[24] and Traphik.^[25]

Your Favorite Martian[link]

In January 2011, Johnson launched a collaborative YouTube channel called "YourFavoriteMartian", which features animated music videos.^{[26][27][dead link]} The songs are performed by a virtual band of four fictional cartoon characters: PuffPuff Humbert (vocals, voiced by Johnson), DeeJay (turntables), Axel Chains (drums), and Benatar (vocals, guitar/keytar).^[28] Johnson writes lyrics, raps, sings, composes beats, and sometimes collaborates with other musicians to produce the songs.^[29] The following is a list of music videos that have been released so far:

To date, Johnson has released 30 original songs, 1 remix, and 3 covers through the channel. As of May 2012, the channel has over 1.8 million subscribers, making it one of the most subscribed channels on YouTube, and over 372 million video views.^[30][31] Due to the rapid growth of popularity of the channel and the music videos getting more views than the Equals Three episodes, Johnson has commented in his Breaking Los Angeles video blog that he at some point hopes to have the music videos released weekly instead of bi-weekly.^[32]

[edit] Breaking

BreakingNYC is a former daily video blog or vlog that Johnson started in December 2009 while living in New York City. He made the vlogs almost daily until June 2010. After nearly a year-long hiatus, Johnson resumed contributing to the video blog channel, creating a new higher quality series with a similar format. The new series titled, Breaking Los Angeles and the Adventures of Puff Puff, was released every Friday and is filmed in Los Angeles. Johnson often featured notable guests in his new series, including rappers Wax, Hoodie Allen and Dumbfoundead, slam poet George Watsky, comedian Gabriel Iglesias, and actor/director Bobcat Goldthwait. After Johnson took a three-month hiatus from making videos for the channel, a third season of Breaking Los Angeles (retitled to Breaking: Season 3), premiered on December 14, 2011.

References[link]

External links[link]

Internet portal

• Official Site